Is It Just My Observation Or Not Everyone Is Destined For A Fulfilling Romantic Life?

Is it just my observation or not everyone is destined for a fulfilling romantic life?

As much as we are conditioned by media, literature, songs, our own anima/animus to desire being in romantic relationships, unfortunately I have observed that not everyone is meant for one. It is truly luck that some people meet willing partners who are interested in romantic relationship, working things out, making it work, loving and supporting each other. While some people meet partners who are emotionally unavailable, manipulative, liars, unwilling to work relationship, taking partner for granted.

Mercury is indeed an indicator of a friend like, youthful energy, optimism for life, conversationalist partner. This is the partner who wants to be adventurous, go travel the world, watch latest movies, go outdoors eating.

Venus is indeed an indicator of significantly beautiful, sensual, pleasant to have in life, charming partner. This is the partner who likes to purchase new clothing, food, wine, dine, meeting pleasures of senses. Music, food, comfort, beauty, sex.

Saturn is indeed an indicator of serious, hard working, not fun attitude towards life and kinda pessimistic. This is the partner who has seen fated ups and downs in life, believes in long term planning, avoids short term gratification and does not have fun with his money. Life is a responsibility for him.

Ketu is indeed an indicator of a detached, disconnected, peculiar, unique, wandering, lost in thoughts, spiritual, not interested in material life partner. This is the partner who will fulfill superficial social expectations of relationship but remain emotionally distanced, disengaged, less talkative, not romantic.

Rahu is indeed an indicator of a social climber, high status, clout chasing, power chasing, fame chasing partner. This partner creates a persona or image or illusion of a perfect relationship for the world to see. It does not matter to him if the actual relationship is hollow so long as the social image is that of a picture perfect marriage.

Sun is indeed an indicator of authoritarian, fatherly, dominating, controlling, egoistic, daddy type partner. This is the partner who likes to take decisions in relationship, be the sun of the relationship, adds life to relationship and is actively involved in the relationship.

Mars is indeed an indicator of a hyper, short tempered, energetic, controlling partner. This is the partner who hates monotonous, chill life. This partner wants sports, physical activity, passion, aggression, heat in the relationship.

Jupiter is indeed an indicator of a wisdom seeking, teacher like, studious, not romantic, dharmic marriage, dutiful partner who considers relationship to be a duty that he has to perform dutifully.

Moon is indeed an indicator of an emotionally attuned, emotionally invested, sensitive, feelings driven partner. Doesn't mean that this partner is super romantic but has the potential because of feelings driven personality. This is the partner who will poetry, do acts of service, is emotionally available to partner.

See how different planets, their signs, their placements, conjunctions, aspects will bring different partner in your life? If you expect to find a romantic, sexy, passionate partner but your relationship houses are occupied/aspected by Saturn or Ketu or Jupiter or their signs that is Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, then you are bound for disappointment. You have to mold your expectations to meet your destiny. If your 7th house is occupied by Ketu or aspected by Ketu, you have to expect and accept that your emotional and romantic needs will be unfulfilled - conversely you have to channel this desire into spirituality and self work. Ketu rules scorpio sign and 8th house. But Ketu is not a planet, though it can change the chemistry of your relationship.

So this is how, not everyone is meant for picture perfect romantic relationship. What we see in movies or songs is simply a work of art. I used to get very frustrated thinking why my life was not like the movies, until I realized that my birth chart, my expectations and my reality are very different from what I consume in media or literature or stories.

I hope it makes to someone. I hope I am not the only person who set her romantic expectations based on what I saw in media.

Astro observations about Aries ascendant/ 1st house/ Aries sun/moon/mercury/venus placements:

Disclaimer: Don't get triggered if you don't relate to or like this observation post. Not every post is meant to touch your heart. And, hopefully we all know that a birth chart has many other placements, so take what feels right to you.

I have seen a lot of Aries placements with a sense of self importance. Even if their attributes or achievements don't warrant it, they display a sense of superiority over others.

Their confidence is interesting. Even when they commit wrong, they don't back down or go in hiding. They either deny that they can do no wrong or come back with full force the next day.

With self importance comes entitlement and selfishness too. It is in the sense of wanting what others have, wanting all the thing to themselves, not caring about needs, wants, rights of other people.

If the fire energy is not balanced with water signs or water placements, such a person can go full Narcissist unfortunately. I met an Aries 1st house stellium who had at least 3 or 4 young girlfriends, 1 long term girlfriend and who did not like to take any responsibilities in life. Despite his wrongdoings, he refused to admit that he was wrong.

Their confident persona is not actually healthy either. Healthy confidence is rooted in awareness of strengths and potential, while confidence of Aries is just overwhelming, arrogance and depends on external approval.

Funnily enough, men with Aries placements can keep beard to showcase their masculinity. Everything they do is image maintenance. They create an image of who they are even if they are not that. I am water energy+earth energy, so I find them pretentious and really superficial. And they are! Imagine living your whole life just to impress others with a persona. The validation comes from within.

Since their confidence is consistent and unwarranted, society rewards them with material success. Aries find it easy to socialize because people fall for their arrogant persona. They can sell a scam if they want. The arrogance is in their favour. People also perceive them as capable, confident and proud. These qualities are associated with trustworthiness, leadership and strength.

Do they have insecurities? Sure yes they do. Who does not? Unfortunately, if they are not aware of their feelings, unlikely they will overcome their insecurities in this life. They will do everything to appear like a genuine person (persona) even though they feel like crap behind the mask in private life.

That is to say, aries placements can be very nice actors. They can give the appearance of something they do not feel. They can even convince you of something they are not. Their confidence makes them unabashed and often manipulative.

Relationship with an Aries unfortunately is not going to be deep or fulfilling, if you are looking for that. They can be go-getter with their persona and confidence.

Getting them to apologize or admit their wrong can be hard. Since they consider themselves superior to you for no reason at all, they can't even imagine scoring low or making themselves look weak. They must win every battle, no matter who is the wrong party.

If you want a super confident friend, Aries is the one for you. Since they will do everything to avoid looking into their faces, you are to find someone who does not show their insecurities or vulnerabilities. And no matter what happens, always stand strong and confident. This can actually be good for someone whose work is to deal with people because people like confident and charming persona. They also care a lot about their appearance. Perhaps a good deal of famous people do have Aries placements since it gives them the need to draw attention to themselves anyhow. They will always hold the upper hand in social situations. They always want to be the one with more power. The self proclaimed king or queen. Even more than leo, I have seen Aries with the overt me, me, me king narrative.

The need for self importance is strong. In one story, I met an Aries native who called himself "Ubermensch" (coined by Friedrich Nietzsche) even though his character was pathetic. It was just about him and his ego. He was all the great things without actually doing any work. This can be actually deceptive because we trust people at face value without looking deep into their lives. We actually get to know someone with time and observation, so they can get away with a lot of things in the short run.

Venus in 8th house: what does the love interest do to you?

If you have this placement, you must have been with some manipulative, controlling man who was like wolf in the face of sheep. He seemed so decent and perfect from the outside but it was all just a mask to hide the real personality and traits. This "revelation and dark secret coming to light" is the turning point in your life. You begin to really dive deep into your inner world and start healing yourself of intergenerational trauma and others.

What I find really interesting was that although the romantic interest was a douchebag, he introduced me to the world of psychology. I did not know anything about psychoanalysis before. He said he would psychoanalyze me and that is how I learned what was what. I did not even know what psychology meant before him. His knowledge of psychology was just shallow and i had to read things on my own to actually understand everything. Similarly, he told me about philosophy. Again, his knowledge of philosophy was infantile. He told me everything wrong about Nietzsche and others. He was just like someone who read things on reddit and social media, and made it his whole personality to manipulate and entice naive and unaware girls like myself.

Although I really hate him in hindsight, but it was this turning point that I actually really started exploring psychology and philosophy. Both of these subjects are connected to 8th house, so that is a really meaningful coincidence. Venus in 8th house = romantic friend activates your interest in 8th house subjects? Seems valid.

By the way, let's not underestimate the role of other houses and placements in love life. 5th house, 7th house are really crucial to learn too.

Hi there.

In that one post you talked about 8th houser girls and that they should beware of older men and so.

Can you define older?

Like whats the line?

Thanks and have a great day😇

Hi. Honestly, there is no one parameter

My mom is 8th houser who married 9 year her senior. My dad is 8th houser who married 9 year his junior. I cannot comment on their married life because I have no business in that.

I am 8th houser and was involved with a 10 year senior who was my biggest mistake. I also have Saturn in 5th, so that might have something to do with it.

What I meant to say was that young 8th houser people have an intense emotional life. Since it is a water house, there is a sort of introverted, feeler type, tolerant energy in them. They tolerate a lot rather than asserting boundaries. Since their life path is also full of ups and downs, they are confused juggling between their emotions and life problems. "Whether I deal with my negative emotions or deal with this sudden career problem or do both?"

In situations like these, we naturally seek support system, someone to hold our hand. Young girls in general and 8th houser in particular have little life experience, almost always daddy issues, low standards in people especially men because they did not have ideal Male role models, do not know their self worth because they were always doing emotional work for others and are gullible because their irrational mind clouds their rational mind.

For eg, "why will this dude say he loves me when we met 1 week back?" A rational girl will say: bullshit, he is manipulating me, no time for players heh. Whereas an irrational 8th houser girl will say: oh my prince charming, my hero, yes I trust you, so this is love uhuhuhu.... love me like you do lalala.

Of course, if the other planets support therapy, other life experiences and maturity, she will not fall into such situations. Boys your age dont have as much experience in manipulation but the older men know just the right thing to say. This is just a warning not a rule. I have read that as a rule you should not date someone older than 5 years when you are young. As you get older, you can raise the age bar only if you trust what you are doing. Even then, life happens. 8th house is unpredictable events. Life is unpredictable anyway :)

Life lessons I have learned so far:

You are not supposed to connect with everyone. You are not supposed to befriend everyone. You dont like everyone, not everyone will like you.

Build strong sense of self. Be mentally and emotionally strong. I personally use Stoicism for the tools to manage my life. If you are a water dominant native, dont exist without emotional shield.

Humans work on a pattern. Identify the pattern, predict the reaction, it is easy to read people once you know how people think and feel.

You do need a little bit of external validation, external approval, narcissism. I isolate myself out of fear that I will be hurt emotionally, but i cannot live in isolation. I have to put myswlf out there. This is important for my spiritual growth.

Toxic people are everywhere. Accept this and move on with your life, albeit you become toxic yourself. If you always gossip about toxic people, whats the difference between you and them?

Have courage to assert boundaries. Have self confidence. Toxic people run a mile from you when they see they cannot influence you, you are not gullible, you wont buy their bullshit. It is as simple as that.

Do not be doormat. If you have trauma, take your time to heal it. Unhealed trauma is invitation letter to emotional predators. They can sniff it from your energy and vibes that you are vulnerable.

Forgiveness is powerful. It cuts the cords between you and your abuser. It is not my task to punish or teach lessons to bad people. It is God's work. Dont take system in your hands.

For all my trauma survivors, put a plug into your trauma wounds. Dont leave your wounds in open. If you do, predators will leech off you and you wont even realize. I picture a traumatized person like someone with nails buried in their chest. Healing means to take out each nail, let the blood and pus flow out, feel the pain and shame it brings, start healing those wounds and finally put some wax on those remaining holes. Do not expose your wounds otherwise more bad people will spot them and use them to hurt you.

Finally, create a life for yourself. I ruminated a lot on how bad people work. I delved into victim mentality until it got boring. It was much more fun to build a new life for myself and my loved ones. Build a new way of life. Build a new identity. This is the gift of venus in 8th house. To create a new lifestyle. To settle after storm.

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT SERIES: For 8th house placements

This series is especially for girls, because that's who I am and can connect to. Since it is astro linked, this is especially true for venus in 8th house/scorpio placements. It can apply to other placements too if you can connect with it. Anyway, what I share on my blog are things I have personally dealt with, so it comes from my heart and soul :)

There is something called "Female Dating Strategy". The first time I read the posts on reddit and elsewhere, it did not make any sense to me. But as I got older and wiser, I could understand everything. Even if you are not interested in dating, venus in 8th house/scorpio ladies, go check out this community. Their tips on self worth, self respect, not being clingy needy emotional will really help you. It is absolute must for venus in 8th house or scorpio because god damn they are emotional, romance obsessed, living in fairytale and taking people at face value.

8th house 💏 Psychology. I have not met a single 8th houser who was not interested in psychology. Even if they did not read books, they were still perceptive, sensitive and emotionally aware. YouTube, blogs, reddit, Quora are full of psychology related testimonials and discussions. You all need to look up what personality disorders cluster A B C mean because feelings are not facts. Just playing mind games is not enough, educate yourself. These natives are the ones to say "Who was looking for a relationship but ended up getting a degree in psychology?"

The ugly truth is that all of us have shadows. If you were born in a narcissistic/borderline family unit, please do not date until you have fixed your shadow. This is why it will help you to do some self actualization, you yandere girls. Dont, dont, dont trust people blindly, not even me.

Beware of old men. No daddy issues please. Old men looking to date young girls because they are gentlemen can go live on mars. Especially for intense women, they will ignore red flags in favour of connection and security. Old men have experience in manipulation and sweet talking. I dont care if your parents were 20 years apart, 8th houser or scorpio are going to learn big lesson if they give themselves blindly to old men. No matter how good they pretend to be. Persona is not reality.

This is it for now.