Is It Just My Observation Or Not Everyone Is Destined For A Fulfilling Romantic Life?

Is it just my observation or not everyone is destined for a fulfilling romantic life?

As much as we are conditioned by media, literature, songs, our own anima/animus to desire being in romantic relationships, unfortunately I have observed that not everyone is meant for one. It is truly luck that some people meet willing partners who are interested in romantic relationship, working things out, making it work, loving and supporting each other. While some people meet partners who are emotionally unavailable, manipulative, liars, unwilling to work relationship, taking partner for granted.

Mercury is indeed an indicator of a friend like, youthful energy, optimism for life, conversationalist partner. This is the partner who wants to be adventurous, go travel the world, watch latest movies, go outdoors eating.

Venus is indeed an indicator of significantly beautiful, sensual, pleasant to have in life, charming partner. This is the partner who likes to purchase new clothing, food, wine, dine, meeting pleasures of senses. Music, food, comfort, beauty, sex.

Saturn is indeed an indicator of serious, hard working, not fun attitude towards life and kinda pessimistic. This is the partner who has seen fated ups and downs in life, believes in long term planning, avoids short term gratification and does not have fun with his money. Life is a responsibility for him.

Ketu is indeed an indicator of a detached, disconnected, peculiar, unique, wandering, lost in thoughts, spiritual, not interested in material life partner. This is the partner who will fulfill superficial social expectations of relationship but remain emotionally distanced, disengaged, less talkative, not romantic.

Rahu is indeed an indicator of a social climber, high status, clout chasing, power chasing, fame chasing partner. This partner creates a persona or image or illusion of a perfect relationship for the world to see. It does not matter to him if the actual relationship is hollow so long as the social image is that of a picture perfect marriage.

Sun is indeed an indicator of authoritarian, fatherly, dominating, controlling, egoistic, daddy type partner. This is the partner who likes to take decisions in relationship, be the sun of the relationship, adds life to relationship and is actively involved in the relationship.

Mars is indeed an indicator of a hyper, short tempered, energetic, controlling partner. This is the partner who hates monotonous, chill life. This partner wants sports, physical activity, passion, aggression, heat in the relationship.

Jupiter is indeed an indicator of a wisdom seeking, teacher like, studious, not romantic, dharmic marriage, dutiful partner who considers relationship to be a duty that he has to perform dutifully.

Moon is indeed an indicator of an emotionally attuned, emotionally invested, sensitive, feelings driven partner. Doesn't mean that this partner is super romantic but has the potential because of feelings driven personality. This is the partner who will poetry, do acts of service, is emotionally available to partner.

See how different planets, their signs, their placements, conjunctions, aspects will bring different partner in your life? If you expect to find a romantic, sexy, passionate partner but your relationship houses are occupied/aspected by Saturn or Ketu or Jupiter or their signs that is Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, then you are bound for disappointment. You have to mold your expectations to meet your destiny. If your 7th house is occupied by Ketu or aspected by Ketu, you have to expect and accept that your emotional and romantic needs will be unfulfilled - conversely you have to channel this desire into spirituality and self work. Ketu rules scorpio sign and 8th house. But Ketu is not a planet, though it can change the chemistry of your relationship.

So this is how, not everyone is meant for picture perfect romantic relationship. What we see in movies or songs is simply a work of art. I used to get very frustrated thinking why my life was not like the movies, until I realized that my birth chart, my expectations and my reality are very different from what I consume in media or literature or stories.

I hope it makes to someone. I hope I am not the only person who set her romantic expectations based on what I saw in media.

Some astro related life lessons I have learned:

Karma is real. I dont know how karma works but it does work. Karma shows rewards through money, material fulfillment, education, career, relationships, marriage. People with success, fame, power, status, money are reaping fruits of their karma. Conversely, bad karma shows as misfortune, ill health, bad character, failure in life, poverty.

Your karma does not end with you. Your children, their children are also impacted by your actions. If you do fair actions, your future generations will have decent destiny. If you do fucked up actions, your future generations will face the consequences too.

Reading your birth chart is crucial to adjust your expectations from life. For eg, 8th house moon should not expect emotional connection and bonding with mom. 12th house sun should not expect available father. There is no point in having impossible expectations when they are not meant to be fulfilled.

"Pseudoscience" does not make any sense. I have experienced synchronicity, premonition, psychic future telling, tarot predictions, astrology making sense to me. These are called pseudoscience but I call them mysticism. They are as real as my existence. I cannot prove them in a lab but they are valid and valuable to me.

Look where your major placements are and what your life theme has been. My most planets are in 7th and 8th house, and my life has indeed been about romantic relationships, occult, psychology, other people. My dad has major planets in 10th and 11th house, and his life has indeed been about career, money, work, outdoors.

Do not be too influenced by media. I think that media is projection of active imagination + profession. It is a mode of escapism from reality. So many of us are happy to invest money in media to escape our realities. This is the power of mind, imagination and feelings.

Astro helps you identify your personality qualities too. I am 8th house and water dominant, and I am indeed emotionally intense, obsessive, strongly emotional and sensitive. I am sensitive to words and get easily hurt. Since I know this, I create measures to shield myself.

Learn to identify psychology patterns and have confidence in what you see. People will gaslight you "you cannot tell how they are feeling, you are making things up, people are unpredictable". No they are not. People and personalities work on a pattern and you can identify it once you deeply understand yourself. Have confidence in your psychoanalysis abilities. I used to be very wrong about people earlier but now that I have started to understand myself, I can also understand other people and their psychology better. I would also suggest to read on personality disorders. That will really enrich your understanding of emotions, behaviour, reactions people follow.

Do not change yourself if you meet bad people. I personally believe that humans are innately bad people. They are selfish, manipulative, jungle animals. Some people have active badness, some have badness in their shadows as repressed qualities. I do not believe that "all humans are good and just make mistakes because of brain complexity". I believe that people choose to be good people: because they fear consequences of their actions or it makes them feel good about themselves or it is their active personality traits or it is the law and order or the civilization and social manners or it is religion and fear of God or desire for good rebirth. If there were no such constraints, humans would be law of jungle. It is hard work to be a good person. It is much easier to surrender to impulses, commit wrong things, harm others, speak lies.

Hi there.

In that one post you talked about 8th houser girls and that they should beware of older men and so.

Can you define older?

Like whats the line?

Thanks and have a great day😇

Hi. Honestly, there is no one parameter

My mom is 8th houser who married 9 year her senior. My dad is 8th houser who married 9 year his junior. I cannot comment on their married life because I have no business in that.

I am 8th houser and was involved with a 10 year senior who was my biggest mistake. I also have Saturn in 5th, so that might have something to do with it.

What I meant to say was that young 8th houser people have an intense emotional life. Since it is a water house, there is a sort of introverted, feeler type, tolerant energy in them. They tolerate a lot rather than asserting boundaries. Since their life path is also full of ups and downs, they are confused juggling between their emotions and life problems. "Whether I deal with my negative emotions or deal with this sudden career problem or do both?"

In situations like these, we naturally seek support system, someone to hold our hand. Young girls in general and 8th houser in particular have little life experience, almost always daddy issues, low standards in people especially men because they did not have ideal Male role models, do not know their self worth because they were always doing emotional work for others and are gullible because their irrational mind clouds their rational mind.

For eg, "why will this dude say he loves me when we met 1 week back?" A rational girl will say: bullshit, he is manipulating me, no time for players heh. Whereas an irrational 8th houser girl will say: oh my prince charming, my hero, yes I trust you, so this is love uhuhuhu.... love me like you do lalala.

Of course, if the other planets support therapy, other life experiences and maturity, she will not fall into such situations. Boys your age dont have as much experience in manipulation but the older men know just the right thing to say. This is just a warning not a rule. I have read that as a rule you should not date someone older than 5 years when you are young. As you get older, you can raise the age bar only if you trust what you are doing. Even then, life happens. 8th house is unpredictable events. Life is unpredictable anyway :)

Hey, you talked about 7th house and the shadow self in one of your posts, so I have mars and pluto in 7th house conjuction what foes that mean about my shadow self?

Hi,

I wrote about "shadow self" for sun in 7th because I have this placement. Shadow is something we discover on our own. To know it, we have to be self aware, watch our reactions, triggers, emotional ups and downs. We have to see what irritates us, annoys us, provokes us in other people. We have to see how flawed and imperfect we are and accept that. It is not just negative qualities but the positives too. Shadow is something which is not tangible or something that can be shown. It is like trying to tell someone who hasn't tasted chocolate before what it tastes like. But once you see your own shadow, you cannot go back from there. It brings peace of mind.

We have a lot of inner personalities and characters that we go through every day. I dont know much about it, when I read something I will share here.

What exactly does the 8th house venus look like?

By now, we are very aware of what venus in 8th house means and that it brings a lot of transformations in the lives of the natives. I will share my personal breakdown of how exactly i transformed with this placement and hope it connects with someone:

Firstly, venus in 8th house makes emotional life intense. I mean INTENSE. Crazy INTENSE. Obsessive. Dedication. Emotional overflow. And secretive. Secretive love life. Falling in "love" overnight, at first sight. Impulsive.

Venus is the significator of romance and love life. It is placed in the house of death and rebirth. What do you expect? Each relationship brings death - rebirth of the native.

It starts with the intense emotional life of the native. Comes a destined romantic interest. Native falls in infatuation. Intense obsession begins. Ohh-she is drowning in her own psychic ocean and it is red. Colour red. The colour of love and sacrifice. Of soul itself.

Rumination. Opening up about personal traumas. Sharing secrets with each other. Venus in 8th house lady gives her heart and soul to the man. She is not for the weak hearted. She is not for the casual affairs. She is the one to shake your soul, existence and make you question reality itself. Her love is passionate and dreamy. She is hard to forget because she dumps her emotions, soul and energy into you.

She is obsessed with the mental image of the love interest. Not the real man but his mental image. This is the twist. She thinks that the romantic interest is everything she has ever wanted. She thinks he is perfect. But really, she is just so emotional that logic is out of the window.

Romantic interest has psychic manipulative tendencies. It is almost certain that the lover is manipulative and controlling. Sometime in the relationship, the illusion breaks. As per the hallmark of 8th house = sudden, SHOCKING revelation! This man is not who she thought he was. 8th house is the house of taboo as well; the man turns out to be someone with a dirty character. Run, run, run.

The break up is sudden. Intense emotional breakdown. Crying herself to sleep. There starts a depression. Deep depression for god knows how long. Her trust is broken. Trust means everything to her. Trauma bond. The mental image shatters.

With depression comes mental breakdown. Ruminating about the whole relationship. What, how, why, where, when? Obsessively asking questions. This depression lasts for months and wipes away the memory.

Native is pulled into astrology, tarot and psychology to fix herself. She knows deep down that something is broken in her. She wants to fix what is broken. It is her destiny. After all, 8th house is also about healing the trauma.

Romantic obsession turns into spiritual pursuit. Depression wipes out the memories of the past self. "i dont remember who i was before" phase. Depending upon the rest of the chart, she starts building herself from ground up. A new person. A new self. New looks. New career. New way of life. New friends.

Long period of isolation - she loses touch with the external world. She sheds her skin in isolation - how can you born anew if you are not reduced to ashes first? She learns everything from rock bottom. Emotional control. Social skills. Relationship skills. Spirituality. Occult skills, definite interest in psychology, when she learns new information, skills, knowledge = she automatically rewires her system. These natives glow up. Generic prediction is = she becomes sophisticated. Dresed up fancy lady with shiny pearl necklace, femme fatale aesthetic, red lips and very ladylike.

Somedays she recalls her old self. The messed up, intense, manic pixie dream girl, broken she was. Now transformed into a new person. So, this is what 8th house transformation looks like. It is not just "magic"; it is actual hard work.

Astro observations about Aries ascendant/ 1st house/ Aries sun/moon/mercury/venus placements:

Disclaimer: Don't get triggered if you don't relate to or like this observation post. Not every post is meant to touch your heart. And, hopefully we all know that a birth chart has many other placements, so take what feels right to you.

I have seen a lot of Aries placements with a sense of self importance. Even if their attributes or achievements don't warrant it, they display a sense of superiority over others.

Their confidence is interesting. Even when they commit wrong, they don't back down or go in hiding. They either deny that they can do no wrong or come back with full force the next day.

With self importance comes entitlement and selfishness too. It is in the sense of wanting what others have, wanting all the thing to themselves, not caring about needs, wants, rights of other people.

If the fire energy is not balanced with water signs or water placements, such a person can go full Narcissist unfortunately. I met an Aries 1st house stellium who had at least 3 or 4 young girlfriends, 1 long term girlfriend and who did not like to take any responsibilities in life. Despite his wrongdoings, he refused to admit that he was wrong.

Their confident persona is not actually healthy either. Healthy confidence is rooted in awareness of strengths and potential, while confidence of Aries is just overwhelming, arrogance and depends on external approval.

Funnily enough, men with Aries placements can keep beard to showcase their masculinity. Everything they do is image maintenance. They create an image of who they are even if they are not that. I am water energy+earth energy, so I find them pretentious and really superficial. And they are! Imagine living your whole life just to impress others with a persona. The validation comes from within.

Since their confidence is consistent and unwarranted, society rewards them with material success. Aries find it easy to socialize because people fall for their arrogant persona. They can sell a scam if they want. The arrogance is in their favour. People also perceive them as capable, confident and proud. These qualities are associated with trustworthiness, leadership and strength.

Do they have insecurities? Sure yes they do. Who does not? Unfortunately, if they are not aware of their feelings, unlikely they will overcome their insecurities in this life. They will do everything to appear like a genuine person (persona) even though they feel like crap behind the mask in private life.

That is to say, aries placements can be very nice actors. They can give the appearance of something they do not feel. They can even convince you of something they are not. Their confidence makes them unabashed and often manipulative.

Relationship with an Aries unfortunately is not going to be deep or fulfilling, if you are looking for that. They can be go-getter with their persona and confidence.

Getting them to apologize or admit their wrong can be hard. Since they consider themselves superior to you for no reason at all, they can't even imagine scoring low or making themselves look weak. They must win every battle, no matter who is the wrong party.

If you want a super confident friend, Aries is the one for you. Since they will do everything to avoid looking into their faces, you are to find someone who does not show their insecurities or vulnerabilities. And no matter what happens, always stand strong and confident. This can actually be good for someone whose work is to deal with people because people like confident and charming persona. They also care a lot about their appearance. Perhaps a good deal of famous people do have Aries placements since it gives them the need to draw attention to themselves anyhow. They will always hold the upper hand in social situations. They always want to be the one with more power. The self proclaimed king or queen. Even more than leo, I have seen Aries with the overt me, me, me king narrative.

The need for self importance is strong. In one story, I met an Aries native who called himself "Ubermensch" (coined by Friedrich Nietzsche) even though his character was pathetic. It was just about him and his ego. He was all the great things without actually doing any work. This can be actually deceptive because we trust people at face value without looking deep into their lives. We actually get to know someone with time and observation, so they can get away with a lot of things in the short run.