Do You Sometimes, When You're Seeing A Person You Are Slowly Getting Attached To, Feel Like You're Falling

Do you sometimes, when you're seeing a person you are slowly getting attached to, feel like you're falling for them ? But second later, after coming back to reality, you think "I can't. I can't fall for them because I have no chances, because I don't deserve to be loved, I CAN'T BE LOVED !"

And then you feel just anger....you are angry at yourself that, even for a second, you thought that you might love someone....that someone might love you...and this anger ? Letting all those emotions run free was a mistake and you know it will be hard to collect them again and lock them in a cage as before...

When something like that happens to me, I take a piece of paper and I just, with all my mighty and strength, make lines...as deep as possible so I can get rid of those weird feelings....then I put the paper in an envelope named "don't fall in love"....I want to see how much I can be vulnerable and stupid to think that someone might love me...

When you're yelling at the ghost in your room for covering the window and not letting you work, and it actually moves and sits on your bed.....

My "dad" is so weak....

He can't handle conversation about my self harm. He had left in the middle and now is mad at everyone.... My "mum" is sad about that....

And I'm the younger there but the strongest....

Funny

Your dad looking at your breasts is another level of disgusting

I can write them a long ass list about things they don't know about me....I think they will have fun

Cutting yourself while having mental breakdown, panic attack and identity crisis hits different especially when you're in your aunt's house where you were supposed to feel safe and better.....

And I'll have train in two hours and I don't know if I am not going to have another in the train....