Would You Still Love Me If I Was A

would you still love me if i was a

[bavis gavis voice] happy post-white day you sick Fucks.

tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, fluff, crack treated seriously, inspired by fulgur’s white day stream, maybe canon compliant?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It takes Fulgur some time to weigh the question after you repeat it again. Even so, it’s less of the sweet thoughtfulness you were hoping for and more just trying to wrap his head around it.

He’s so confused that not only does he look away from his computer screen, but he pivots his chair around entirely to face you. “…A worm.”

“Yeah.”

"Like a pest? Or a vermin."

"If you wanna call them that, sure."

“Why would you turn into a worm?”

“I dunno, maybe I’m secretly Gregor Samsa?”

“What does Kafka have to do with anything?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You spend a lot of time thinking about things that don’t matter.”

“Hey, it does too matter.”

“Kafkaism is fiction that reflects the surrealism of reality. We’re not fictional.”

“Cap.”

“What do you mean, cap, I’m a real— oh, never mind.” He pinches his nose again, and this time you must’ve gotten under his skin, because he even lifts his glasses up to rest on his head as he looks at you. “Why are you asking me about worms?”

“No context allowed! I’m suddenly a worm. Would you still love me, yes or no?”

“Why would I have to answer? You’re not turning into a worm.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Wh—“ Fulgur stares at you. “Yes, I do?! I live with you!”

You look off to the side and smirk. “Heh. You don’t even know about my double-life as a decomposer.”

“The only decomposing you do is when you lay in bed for three hours on your phone.”

“Fuu! Answer now!”

“No comment!”

“You are so unromantic!”

“You’re just now realizing this?!”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

This is ironic.

Delightfully so.

Not exactly as you imagined, however. Rather than a worm, right in front of you is…

“Please don’t make this any worse than it is, Reader.”

A small seahorse, prostrated on the ground and somehow capable of breathing despite being very much above air. The gray ponytail and stubble around his snout was jarring, but there’s no mistaking the lifeline of red around his eye.

You let out the fourth-loudest laugh of your life, effectively wrecking Fulgur’s request before you even accepted it.

You cackle for some time until your side hurts and you tear up. Seahorse Fulgur levitates up to eye-level (somehow??) as you wipe your watery eyes. “Are you still mad…?”

“Mad?" You ask. "Why would I be mad?”

He hesitates. “The worm thing?”

It takes you a moment to remember the conversation you had almost exactly a week ago. You haven’t forgotten it nor how amused you were during it, but who’s to say the feeling was mutual?

Your lips press together. Did you misread the situation? “No, I wasn’t mad at all. It’s a silly question with silly answers.”

“Oh.” Fulgur sounds almost as small as his seahorse body, just the right size to cup your hands around him. Your fingers serve as a headrest. "Well, now I feel silly, too."

"It's okay, I don't mind. It was funny watching you get confused even if I didn't get an answer." You pat him on the head with a finger. "I'd still love you even if you were a seahorse, though."

Fulgur shuts his eyes. "You're making fun of me."

"A little."

"Would you let up if I answered the worm thing?"

"Maaaaybe." You pat him on the head again. "It doesn't matter now, we just need to find Legatus."

"Well, I would," Fulgur admits.

"Pardon?"

"Even if you're a worm," the seahorse says. He lays flat along your palm, yet his tail stretches out, wrapping around the edge of your thumb. Can seahorses blush?

You'd like to put that question to the test. "Full sentences, please, Fuu."

"I'd love you even if you were a worm," Fulgur says, and even with a snout and two beady eyes, you can just hear the way he presses his lips together and averts his gaze, dedicated to whenever he says it and all the courage he has to muster to be honest.

If he knew how he had you wrapped around his finger when he gets this shy he'd never let you hear the end of it, and still never be able to abuse that privilege. He's true to himself, even if it's at the expense of his pride.

So the urge to tease passes. Instead, you lift your hand up to your lips, press a kiss onto your fingers, and poke him gently on the side of his face. "Let's get you fixed up, Fuu."

"Please." His tail tightens around your thumb. "I'm afraid if we wait any longer I might give birth."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

Yandere Short Stories:

Limerence (Prequel)

Yandere Rebellion Leader x Princess Reader

TW: Yandere behaviors, mentions of past SA (on yandere’s part), murder, death, blood, a man slaughtering your entire family to be with you, etc

(Your name) quietly sobbed into her knees, her body curled tightly into a ball on the floor of her closet. The loud screams of the servants ring out through the hallways. Not a single doubt in her mind that the castle staff were being slain like cattle by the rebel troops.

When did everything go wrong? Would she soon join the rest of the castle’s inhabitants when the troops inevitably found her? Would they be merciful or would they gut her like a fish?

(Your name) didn’t want to think about it too much… she just hoped her death would be quick and painless.

Crack! Slam! Her door was splintered apart with brute force that made the closet doors shake. (Your name) quickly covered her mouth before she screamed out in fear. She didn’t want to alert the intruder of her whereabouts…

(Your name)’s breath hitched when she spotted a pair of leather shoes that stood outside the closet door through the crack of the door. Oh god… this was it.

(Your name)’s arms flew up to shield her face but strong hands quickly moved her arms out of the way so soft lips could be lovingly pressed against her soft cheeks.

“It’s okay… it’s me.” A smooth voice hummed softly while he continued to pepper (your name)’s face in kisses. “It’s Adonis.”

(Your name) reluctantly peeked her eyes open to see if his words rang true. Adonis’s chocolate curls were wild and his sea foam green eyes were filled with admiration. This was indeed her handsome childhood friend who stood before her.

“A-Adonis?” (Your name)’s brow furrowed in confusion. Why on earth was her stepmother’s personal servant here and why did he press kisses all over her like she was his lover? Didn’t he belong to her stepmother?

Adonis hummed in reply, his actions failed to cease while his hands now cupped her cheeks. “Yes, darling. It’s me… I’m here to get you out of here.”

(Your name) was shocked to be pulled into a warm embrace. Adonis’s muscular body did little to soothe her nerves, quite contrary. Adonis’s hug felt like a cage.

“Where’s my stepmother-“ (your name) nearly squealed when Adonis nipped at her neck. An angry red mark now visible on her smooth skin. “Adonis, what was that for-“

“She’s not in the picture anymore.” Adonis inhaled deeply to try to calm himself before he lashed out any further from the mention of his despicable mistress. “She interfered in our relationship for far too long.”

Relationship? What was Adonis talking about?

“Adonis?” (Your name) then noticed the speckles of blood that covered his tan face in shock. Blood?! Adonis wasn’t bleeding so whose blood could that be… no. Did this mean Adonis betrayed the royal family?

No… Adonis had been with her family for over a decade. They grew up together! Adonis and her were always such good friends! So why would he slaughter her family in the name of love?

“I love when you say my name, darling.” Adonis bent down and pressed his full lips against yours in a tender peck. “We no longer have to worry about what others think. I abolished this unfair system.”

(Your name) felt tears run down her face as Adonis continued to ramble. His sea foam green eyes lit up with madness. “We don’t have to sneak around anymore! You and I can finally be together, the way we were always meant to be.”

Realization sunk into (your name) at Adonis’s words. Did he mean the moments the two of them would run into each other in the rose garden at night? The nights where she’d have nightmares of fire and death while he would be slipping out of her stepmother’s chambers? The times she’d sit beside him on the bench and listen to each other’s woes? Adonis and (your name) always had a friendship since they were children… to think he interpreted her kindness for love was astounding. What on earth made him think she loved him?

“I’m so happy to finally be free. I no longer have to touch that vile woman ever again.” Adonis gave you a bright smile. “You were my singing light through this entire ordeal of my servitude. Without you, I’d be so lost.”

Adonis pulled her towards the window of her tower to gesture to the various fires set ablaze on the castle she once called home. The same scenery she often saw in her nightmares have become a reality.

“I destroyed it all. You’ll no longer have nightmares and I’ll no longer have to be intimate with our enemy!” Adonis gave you a bright smile when he took your smaller hands in his large ones. “This is the biggest gesture I can give you to express my utmost feelings to you. I’d set the whole world ablaze if they opposed us. It doesn’t matter the extreme, because I’m willing to go to any length to be with you.”

Yandere! Townspeople Harem x Lucky Reader

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

A/N: I have no clue what I was on when I wrote this 💀. This is also inspired by a Reddit post I saw long time ago.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who are absolutely enamored by you and everything that you do. They treat you as if you are some kind of entity waiting to be put on a golden pedestal and paraded around town. You are essentially the town’s golden boy/girl/person, a mascot if you can even call it that. In their eyes everything that you do is inspiring and encouraged. It also doesn’t help that you were born with this amazing power that causes you to become extremely lucky. No matter the deed, every action was thrust into the spotlight as if it were a gracious gesture for the community's well-being. Take, for instance, if you ever fatally shot someone the townsfolk would erupt in applause, discovering the individual to be a notorious mass murderer and your action saved the town.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who can’t help but gush over every miniscule achievement that you got. You got a perfect attendance award? They wouldn’t expect anything less from you. Did you just get a participation trophy? Well they're cheering for you as if you just won the world cup. To say their actions are embarrassing is definitely an understatement. Everytime they cheer for you, you can’t help but die a little bit on the inside.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who absolutely cannot fathom the idea of you moving out of their town. They would much rather skin themselves alive and commit arson than to allow you to leave them. Everywhere you go, there will always be some form of eyes on you. There will always be some type of survance of you at any time of the day. Depending on the person, the townspeople's love for you can either be platonic or romantic. Basically half of the town wants to fuck your and the other half sees you as their beloved child or grandchild.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who may or may not be human. Like sure they might have the occasional human sacrifices but what town doesn’t!?!? This is totally normal behavior that people exhibit. What’s that? Did you just see a tentacle coming out from that woman over there? Nahhh. You must be imagining that! What a cute and overactive imagination you have there. In all seriousness, it would literally die for you. You're just a cutie patootie to them. Your small teeth are so cute compared to their razor sharp fangs. You know, you could really use that small mouth of yours and suck on their–

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople have a monthly ritual where they gather around to brag about all of the items that they stole from you. Never in your life will you see someone so happy to own a pair of used underwear that didn’t belong to them or some used pair of socks. If you looked up a textbook definition of “down bad” then a picture of the Yandere! Townspeople would be the first images to pop up. In your presence these people act as if they had never touched grass or seen the sun before. They all seem to have some type of mutual agreement that in your presence, they would try to act somewhat normal in order to not scare/scar you too much.

—

From a young age, your luck was apparent. In school, while others struggled with exams, you breezed through them effortlessly, always managing to stumble upon the exact answers needed to excel. Teachers marveled at your natural knack for stumbling upon solutions, even in the most challenging of situations. As you grew older, the extraordinary luck only seemed to amplify. Job interviews turned into job offers within minutes, as if the universe conspired to ensure your success in every endeavor. Colleagues joked that working with you was like having a lucky charm around, as projects that seemed doomed to fail miraculously turned into resounding triumphs whenever you were involved. It might seem great and all BUT DAMN WAS THIS LIFE SO FUCKING BORING!!!! Which is why you decided to spice up your day a little and rob a bank.

“Oh hello [Reader]! Is this going to be the usual procedure?” The bank teller asks you with a smile on their face as you hold a gun to their face. “You know… the weather is perfectly nice today. It would be a perfect day for a date don’t you think–”

Suddenly a thunderous crash was heard, the police burst through the bank doors, their badges glinting under the harsh fluorescent lights. Guns drawn and voices booming commands, they swept into the lobby, faces masked with determination. Until the police chief sees you and lets out a tired sigh, “Guns down everyone, it’s just [Reader].” A faint sound of disappointed groans can be heard from the crowd of bank patrons from the back. “Why are the police here so soon, I didn’t get enough time to admire their pretty face.” another voice could be heard, “For real, their never this fast in an actual emergency. I mean they only just shot and killed one person, it's really nothing to worry about like who cares–”

—

“You are free to go [Reader], again.” the police officer states as she releases you from your handcuffs. “Turns out the man that you shot ended up being a drug dealer. You really have a special talent for catching criminals don’t you. She states as she gazes at you with loving eyes. “You know I’m free after this shift, you think we can–”

Before she can finish her sentence you walk away with a dejected look on your face. You couldn’t believe how boring a day this turned out to be. Seriously, you wished that something exciting would happen in this town for once you think to yourself. Failing to notice a scene behind you. One that consisted of a bunch of monsters eating the souls of the innocent while on their knees for a statue that seemed to look like you. They all seem to be gripping onto something though– HEY, WAIT A MINUTE ARE THEY HOLDING YOUR UNDERWEAR!?!!?

YALLL imagine death god yan x unlucky-lucky darling x life god yan

Darling is naturally blessed, having the eyes of an obsessed life god yan on them since birth. They've been blessed with god health, amazing abilities etc.

But all of a sudden, they suddenly fall ill. The work of the death god. Death god wants darling for himself. He wants to see what so charming about darling to make a life god do such actions for a mere mortal.

So he makes darling really ill and interacts with them through dreams bordering life and death. He then realizes what so appealing about darling and tries to worsen darling's symptoms.

But of course, your yandere life god isn't just going to stand by and watch this happen. He's had his eyes on you for a far longer time. You were his from the beginning.

In the end, you end up getting like 13290390 diseases but end up surviving all of them because these damn gods can't seem to make up their minds about whether to kill you or not.

Such is the life of someone who can be dubbed an 'unlucky-lucky' person. And you don't know whether to be thankful or not for having the hearts of gods dedicated towards you.

How would the murder clown gang react to mine darling just cursing them out in ASL/sign language?

Depends on the clown. Here are a few examples -

-

Murder Clown: I don't care how much you whine - you're not going anywhere by yourself.

Mime Darling, signing: "BITCH"

Murder Clown, closing their eyes: Gonna pretend I didn't see that.

-

Murder Clown: Which one of you mother...FUCKERS TAUGHT MY LITTLE ANGEL THIS TYPE OF LANGUAGE!?

Mime Darling: "SHIT." "FUCK."

Murder Clown, gently taking their hands - tears smudging their makeup as they sob: Please...stop....

-

Murder Clown: Quit squirmin'! It's easy to lose you in a crowd - just let me carry you!

Mime Darling: "FUCK YOU!"

Murder Clown: You little- [sets mime Darling down and signs back at them] DO IT THEN

[Mime Darling and the Murder Clown proceed to have a heated argument while sirens blare outside the building they're in.]

-

Murder Clown: Don't swear.

Mime Darling: "AS-"

[Murder Clown takes Darling hand and removes their glove - licking the mime's palm and drenching it in their saliva]

Mime Darling: [stares at them in horror]

Murder Clown: Warned you.

-

Murder Clown: Naughty! No more golden stickers for you until you behave better

[Mime Darling fakes tears]

Murder Clown: That won't work on me twice, deary~

TW: Yandere themes, kidnapping, sex, fingering, spanking, homosexual relationships, bisexual relationships, polyamory

MOTHER FUCKING GAY ASS MEN WHO SET THEIR SIGHTS ON YOU AND TURN YANDERE AND KIDNAP YOU AND DRAG YOU INTO THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO BE THEIR LITTLE SUBBY SUB.

You watch these men kiss each other. Love on each other. FUCK each other. And they bring you into the mix. Now, you’re in between these masculine and muscular bodies, just squirming because you haven’t adjusted to this new dynamic yet.

One is in front of you, playing with your tits and pussy. The other is behind you, nipping at your neck and groping your ass and probably spanking you as well.

But what can you do? You can only lie there and moan, writhe, buck your hips, hope a finger curls over your clit and gives it a tiny smidge of attention.

You hide your face in the sheets, only for the one in front to grip your jaw and turn you back to look into his authoritative eyes.

“Keep those pretty eyes on me. Got it?”

And you whimper and nod. And the one behind you slips his fingers into your pussy, and the one in front rubs your clit. You end up coming sooooooooooo fucking hard that it takes you a couple of minutes to recover.

But they’re not done yet. No, they still have to show you how BOTH of their cocks can fit in that tight and cute little pussy now that it’s all wet for them.

Say hello to your new life as the sub of two very dominant yanderes because you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.