Nikodoesthings - Niko - Tumblr Blog

lately i've been feeling the numbness again

the one when your arms get heavy

and you dread every conversation

i can't muster up enough energy to

..i don't know

i stay up cursing myself for an illness that convinces me he's my friend

is he?

maybe it's just a slip up

maybe it'll blow over

hopefully

sweet strawberry child

you can swim almost ten metres

climb all the highest trees without falling

you own the forests and the lake

the sky and all the caves you’ve only ever heard about in stories

you know the world like it’s only yours

dancing after your hand

like a wizard and his white rabbit

you can make it disappear whenever you like

hello i did not forget i have an account what do you mean

anyways have hobie brown from across the spider verse

he’s pretty cool huh

painting!

it’s the them!

i love them!

picking up the pencil

it's been a couple weeks

hello dear old friend

nice to see you here again

like a tuft of grass

in a seemingly endless mire

thank you for the hand

mister apollo

painted for the first time in a while today, it was very therapeutic

maybe perhaps i will post the painting when it’s finished

i guess maybe i would've said goodbye differently if i knew it was the last time

hugged you tighter

cried even more 

would you? 

i still stay up at night wondering who left who

and surely i wasn't the same to you as you were to me

cause relationships like that don't break so easily

hello

please be okay

little stars

all over my legs and arms

that one from the summer i was six

that one from when i was eleven

little white stars like milestones throughout my life

and the falling stars

meteors and comets

they come in groups

one two three

fifteen twenty thirtytwo

so many i cant count

make a wish

i haven’t been doing too well lately, there’s a lot of stuff going on and i can’t really bring myself to write

here’s something though

i saw a pigeon in the train station today

i watched it fly from one side of the building to the other

between giant glass walls

back and forth it flew

back and forth

high above the open doors

as if next time there would be no wall

and it could fly out into the open

but the walls didn’t move

and the pigeon didn’t stop

back and forth it flew

back and forth

back and forth

and i thought about ants

and i thought about whales

and i thought about me and you

and i watched the pigeon fly

back and forth

back and forth

i don’t feel trapped here

under layers of familiarity and routine

where everyone knows my name

and the changes are so slow you don't even notice

i don't feel trapped

not yet

but i will leave

as soon as i get the chance to i will leave

been counting down the days for as long as i remember

like snufkin when the leaves turn

from green to yellow

from yellow to red

it'll eventually be my turn

slip on soon to be worn out shoes

heave my backpack onto my already aching shoulders

but not aching in a bad way

aching from excitement

from anticipation

aching to carry

carry the weight of few belongings

everything, my whole life now

tossed together in a 30l backpack

enamel mug in a string from the back

a one way ticket please

tw/blood + implied sh

i had a dream again

that i was covered in blood

my hands

my arms

my eyes

and something was wrong

but when i woke up i forgot to ask

if that was normal

it flashes before my eyes every so often

like a reminder

-something i wrote a while back about experiences even further back, im doing alright and this isn’t anything that should make anyone worry (just making sure)

someone i drew a while back

another csh drawing? wowie

perspective is a little messed up but yk what that’s okay

also please excuse my handwriting

them.

i’ve listened to car seat headrest so much recently and i’ve drawn the gay dogs so many times. i really like the design

edit: holy shit thank you for all the likes and reblogs

i missed you last night

i didn’t mean to but my mind started wandering

to why you haven’t answered my texts for months

a simple “hello” thrown out in space

left there till it withers away

but i still draw eyes like you showed me

i like to think that you’d notice that

in the depths of winter night

the sky fills with coloured light

and people raise their glass

to the end of yet another fight

i push away all thoughts of tomorrow

and ignore the cold air through the fleece you let me borrow

it makes me shiver where i stand

beside you hand in hand

i will scream into the sky

how we made it

you and i

me trying to rhyme

when i wrote this I thought i’d be celebrating with other people but then like 4 hours before the new year i got fever. yayy. so i ended up celebrating alone by standing outside our door wrapped in a blanket and with a really sore throat. so i could definitely not scream anything haha

happy new years, it’s 2023 now, scary

our world.

im not sure exactly what my idea behind this painting was, but it definitely has a message just not anything i can really put into words, up for your own interpretation i guess

it is a brain surrounded by lots of trash (earlier someone thought it was rocks and I’m here to say it’s absolutely not rocks) - i had a lot fun painting it and i’m really happy with how it turned out

Merry Christmas

Idk their name

I was originally only gonna post stuff here that fit a certain “vibe” but I don’t make too much art that fits that vibe, and i want to be relatively consistent in my positing. So to not just post every blue moon, I’m gonna just post whatever art I make, this may be fanart of whatever hyperfixation I have that month, original drawings or really sad poetry or whatever else I feel like sharing that day. I think I’ll enjoy posting more that way:)

Beetle

one day i’ll hold you for reasons other than holding onto anything that could keep me here

i really like candles

i still think about last year

how many times I told you ink will sink trough skin

how it stained your hands and sleeves

and as it dripped on the floor i thought about how it would form a pond deep enough for us both to drown in

i coughed up ink for a week after that night

Art! The above one is from a dream I had, it was pretty odd

Blurry city wowie