Tw: Sh

tw: sh

Does anyone else notice that you bleed more since starting to sh?

I don't think it's that I've been going deeper maybe newer blades is it, but holy shit?? I bleed like a gusher?? Like I no longer do long sessions because I get lightheaded. I have to put down a fuckin towel?? I don't even cut that deep, like baby styros

Oh friendly reminder to properly bandage (as properly as possible) I'm no fukin expert but don't just slap dry bandage on that shit 1. It hurts like fuck to take off 2. Just not that good for your skin

I love me a vitamin ointment + gauze wombo combo shit hits the spot, feels so nice plus a bonus of not ruining your sheets

Anyway I'm gonna take a nap I am sleep and blood deprived good god

Take care of yourselfs.

Nevermind?? I think I'm losing it, I was looking into it and I just went back to the tab I had opened and the numbers changed. This happens often so I'm not too surprised, honest to god think I've started hallucinating Wich is scary but it is what it is at least I don't hear things too often it's still an ok amount to be burning at least still bummed tho

Finding out how much calories me being at work burns was the best thing ever I'm in a ok deficit already (when I work my 1800 becomes like 600-800) and once I lower my calorie intake I might even get into the negatives on work days, plus the walk there and back and the small exercises I do at home<3

I forgot to put on anons before

You ever sh and your like "oh great just a small relapse so that my scars don't fade too much and I can hop back onto recovery"

And then two months later you just THINK about giving your arm a break and letting those heal up and your sick to your stomach,

and you haven't had a clean streak longer than two days.

I'm sure the scars look so pretty but I haven't given enough time to actually look at them and see them, whatever I'll get clean some other year.

I can't tell if it's a flex or bad parenting that I cvt myself since I was like 11, and my parents knew and would just go "oh don't do that kiddo ily🩷💖💖💖🩷🩷🥺🥺🥺🥺💖🩷💗💗💗💗❣️💗🥺🥺🥺"

and then ignore me if I ever said I wanted to go to therapy, and when I did go to therapy and the therapy person was like "high suicide risk and self harm behaviors, we should send them to a mental hospital" my mother was like "what?? No your clearly wrong, your just a bad therapist. Your awful. Come on kiddo let's go."

I have a feeling my mother was delusional and my father bless his soul didn't feel like he could stop it, so he just bandaged me up when he noticed

Maybe it's fucked that my best memories is getting bandaged by my father, but I'm glad he taught me how! Now I don't have to wash my sheets every night<3

God I hate purging, but my family had pizza tonight and mom took me out for a birthday lunch, both things I couldn't get out of

I never feel empty enough if I purge, the only way I can stop is when I feel my throat burning with stomach acid even then I force myself just a little bit longer, oh well I have a tasty 10 cal ice tea waiting for me on my bedside along with some blades and bracelet making stuff, fucked priorities I know but hey I enjoy making bracelets<3