Roman: Turn Around And Give Me All Your Money!

Roman: Turn around and give me all your money!

Tai: *Put hands up and turns* Ok ok! Please don't shoot.

Roman: Wait... Tai?

Tai: Roman?

Roman: Holy crap!

Tai: Long time no see, man! It's been awhile!

Roman: Yeah, it has. Oh, get down on your knees real quick.

Tai: *Kneels down* Oh right.

Roman: How've you been man?

Tai: Just got back to Vale last week. How about you?

Roman: Oh, I've been great. But hey, you still dating that girl Raven?

Tai: Nah, me and her broke up a while back. But, remember my leader Summer?

Roman: Yeah, I think I remember her.

Tai: *Smiles and reveals wedding ring*

Roman: *Gasps in shock before taking the ring* Wow...

Tai: It's our anniversary today.

Roman: *Pockets ring* Congratulations man.

Tai: Yeah, it's been 3 years already.

Roman: *Looking through Tai's wallet* Yeah, cute kids too.

Tai: Thanks man.

Roman: Alright, well I'm about whack you with my cane, but it was nice seeing you again.

Tai: Yeah, you too.

Roman: *Raises cane* Alright, take care.

Ironwood: Freeze! Put the cane down and put your hands up!

Tai: ... James?

Ironwood: Tai?

Roman: James?

Ironwood: Roman?!

Roman: Oh my god!

Ironwood: I can't believe it!

Tai: The gangs all here!

Scarlet: I got a latte order for Jaune?

Jaune: That's me. Thank you.

Scarlet: Wait... Jaune, is that you?!

Jaune: Excuse me?

Scarlet: Remember me?

Scarlet: Spanish class?

Jaune: I-I'm sorry...

Scarlet: C'mon. Shade Academy, we sat right next to each other.

Jaune: I'm still drawing a blank here.

Scarlet: We even played Lacrosse together.

Jaune: I know nothing about Lacrosse.

Scarlet: We were great buddies!

Jaune: Look, I'm sorry. I'm running kinda late here.

Scarlet: You were like the most popular kid in school.

Jaune: I... I was?

Scarlet: Yeah, you were class president! Everyone loved you. All the girls had a secret crush on you.

Jaune: T-they did?

Scarlet: Yeah, so did I.

Jaune: ... What?

Scarlet: When I finally came out to everyone, you were the only one that supported me. You gave me the courage to finally open up to my parents and allow them to love me for who I really am.

Scarlet: And you didn't just help me, you've done great things for all of Vacuo. You redirected the lives of troubled kids by showing them that gang violence isn't the way.

Jaune: I... I did?

Scarlet: You were an inspiration to us all.

Jaune: *Scratches head in disbelief*

Scarlet: It's probably hard for you to remember. Doctors weren't sure if you'd ever get your memory back from that incident.

Jaune: Wait... What incident?

Scarlet: When you saved those orphans from a burning church, a chunk of debris fell on your head. You were in a coma for 9 months.

Jaune: I-I was?

Scarlet: It was the bravest thing I ever saw.

Jaune: O-oh, well... Thank you.

Scarlet: *Places hand upon Jaune cheek* I understand you can't remember right now... But I'll never forget the last words you said to me before you ran into that building.

Jaune: What did I say?

Scarlet: You said "Puedo perder mi vida, pero la esperanza…"

(Translation: I may lose my life, but hope...)

Scarlet + Jaune: "La esperanza es lo último que perderé."

(Translation: Hope is the last thing I'll lose)

Jaune: Y'know... I-I think I'm starting to remember now!

Scarlet: Well, it's good to have you back, Jaune.

Jaune: Well, it's good to be back.

Scarlet: *Hands him his latte, but stops as he see's the name written on it* Wait... It's Jaune with an AU?

Jaune: Yeah?

Scarlet: Oh, I think I mistaken you for someone else. My bad. Here's your latte, have a nice day. *Gives him his drink before immediately going back to work*

Jaune: B-but wait-

Scarlet: I got an order for Flynt?

Scarlet: Flynt? I-Is that you?!

Flynt: Do I know you?

Scarlet: You saved my wife from a grizzly bear attack!

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…

Jaune: *Slightly out of breath* Wow... You were incredible...

Neo: *Kneeling in front of Jaune, smiling seductively at him as she wipes her mouth*

Jaune: W-Well, here's your 50 lien.

Neo: *Takes the money, before handing Jaune a piece of paper*

Jaune: What's this?

Neo: *Pulls up sign* "Forged Transcripts for 50 Lien!"

Jaune: But I was only paying for the blow-

Neo: *Flips sign* "That Was Free!"

Ruby: Ok, I get me and Jaune may be more close than regular friends normally are-

Blake: Understatement of the decade.

Ruby: But! I don't see why everyone thinks we're together! We are simply a boy and a girl who platonically enjoy being around the other.

Blake: Ruby, I literally caught you getting railed by, and riding, Jaune around the academy 5 times in less than 2 days.

2 dudes high fiving one another while taking a dump in public

"Last one."