Its A Chilly Autumn Morning. You Are Snuggled In Bed, Vaguely Aware Of A Rhythmic Pattering On Your Roof,

it’s a chilly autumn morning. you are snuggled in bed, vaguely aware of a rhythmic pattering on your roof, and dim cool light in your room. you fall back to sleep, dreaming of nothing but warmth and comfort. you awaken again, a few seconds before a a soft rumbling of thunder sounds. you have nothing to do today but listen and enjoy

trying

they say you’ll know

when someone loves you.

but I love you,

yet you don't know it

i fail to tell you

over and over.

the words are at the tip of my tongue,

threatening to pour out,

but what comes out instead

is venom that scalds your skin.

i swear im trying

my best; this beast

is terrifying. More so

than the thought of you

disappearing. It appears

that im just afraid

to admit it–

to you, to myself.

and I'm hoping,

that your love

will be sustenance enough

for you and me both.

too much

is there such a thing as

too much love?

can you love someone too much?

to the point where it's overflowing.

it grows until there's no more space;

until you can't breathe.

the love,

it consumes you.

it consumes your thoughts,

your time,

your emotions,

your entire being.

it twists and turns,

growing and changing,

until you don't recognize it anymore.

until you don't recognize yourself.

it doesn't matter though,

because you'll love every moment of it.

even the parts you hate

you'll love;

you've got too much of it anyway.

my favourite poems

are the ones I wrote about you.

and my favourite nights

are the ones where I don't have to see you.

Time

more time

more time

more time

greedily grabbing it

just to throw it away

i need more time

i don't have time

things are piling up

i look the other way

just runnin' away

runnin' again

what's your address

i'm just up in my head

my eyes follow the blaring screens

noise drowning my thoughts

before they can breathe

the music's loud

i don't even understand it

avoiding my language

so the lyrics don't get to me

i don't wanna feel

anything; it's too much

my eyes are glazing over

my mind's gonna explode

it's all too much

so I shut it off

shut it off

just get stuff done

but off I go

cause I've found another one

another distraction

it's pulling me in

everything's great in my head

the real world briefly flashes

before my eyes

until I face another screen

and pay it no mind

complaining about time

till I have none of it left

now the consequences

of my actions

they're chasing me

but I'm runnin' again

runnin' away.

idc

I don't care

I draw hard lines in the sand

Only to watch them swept up by waves

I don't care

I say to myself as I watch you

And her do the same things we did

I don't care

I tell myself as I see

your name on my screen

I don't care

I think as the songs fill my ears

And your face fills my mind

I don't care

I tell my friends

when you come up in a conversation

Because to admit

the opposite is weakness

It's giving in to you

It's disappointing myself

It's all the times

I went running back to you

when I knew exactly how it would end.

In a twisted knot

begging to be untangled

In nothing more than grey,

nothing more than ashes and dust.

I don't care

I don't care

I don't care

I repeat

Until the words lose their meaning

Until you're nothing

but a faded photograph

Until I can't remember

the exact sound of your voice

Until I can't recall

the things we used to talk about

Until you're nothing

but an afterthought.