Seraphina-okami - Mental Stuff - Tumblr Blog

Why try to make friends when in the end they stab you in the back? Like for real? I put forth the effort and try to make time to hang out then you turn around and never show up. You lie to me about the stupidest things and end up not a decent human being, you string me along. Not happening anymore, you've been blocked. I don't like being toyed with. If I'm not important enough for you to want to hang out with me then go toy with someone else.

I'm not sure how much longer I am going to stick around if I'm no longer enough and can't give a single person what they want. I think I'm just going to say goodbye and see where life takes me or where my depression takes me. One or the other.

Sorry if I'm not good enough. Sorry if I can't give you what you want. Sorry for everything

This is true

This is so true. No one ever knows how I'm feeling fully.

“You don’t see me crying at night, you don’t know what I’m feeling inside. It’s amazing what a smile can hide.”

— Unknown

another day, another reminder of my past

Anxiety attack

Well you all know I have anxiety. Well my prom is coming up and I really want to go. I get anxiety issues every time I think about it. I really want to go but my anxiety. What do I do?

Today's emotions and mental issues

Well today I got to talk to my therapist Jenna and she listened for once! I know shocking. She didn't tell me what to do or try and give me coping skills. She asked me what I'm going to do.

I honestly don't know. So many emotions went through me. Hurt, grief, sad, frustrated, mad, lonely. It's hard to settle on one to talk about.

I know this was supposed to be all about mental stuff but it's become much more than that to me. This is a place where I can just get everything off my chest from the day. I hope if anyone is reading this that they don't mind.

I have one more thing I want to say tonight

Just cause you've been through a lot doesn't mean you should stop and give up. You should keep fighting. People go through hell daily whether it be emotionally or mentally. I go through hell daily, more often than anyone knows. I know that people I see or talk to daily will read this and I'll be in trouble with them. I must say that in order for me to get better I'll have to deal with the repercussions of speaking my mind. I'll gladly take the repercussions as long as it means I stay sane.

Well where was I before I left...

Ahhh yes PTSD and all that comes with it. Well let me get the story out there. About 4 or 5 years ago I was sexually assaulted. I went through the legal process and I hope the guy (let's call him Jim) got prosecuted. You see Jim has 4 kids. 3 boys and a girl. I also think Jim has gotten away with it before I reported him. I just didn't want anyone else to go through that.

I'm jumpy around anyone my age or older who is male. Hugging a male can make it worse. The only person I felt safe with was Jasper.

Hey

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I've just had a lot going on. My boyfriend left me and after awhile I dated someone else. Let's call him Jasper. Well I let Jasper in and told him stuff. In return he decided to break up with me before we even made it to 2 months. I know that doesn't seem like a long time. The truth is one can get very attached to someone in a very short amount of time. I still care about Jasper a lot I just don't think he feels the same anymore.

PTSD

I don’t know where my PTSD came from. I haven’t found any triggers. It might have to do with being attacked by dogs growing up. I’m living with it, that’s all I know.

Anxiety

I didn’t know I had anxiety for the longest time. I just knew I had trouble eating at new restaurants. I’d go really pale, start shaking, and become nauseous. I’ve decided that my anxiety can’t rule my life. I’ve adapted and gotten better.

Depression

I thought I was just a regular kid until I started having negative thoughts. I was diagnosed with depression. It got worse and I was put on mood stabilizers. They helped a bit. I’ve gotten better but some things still push me over the edge.

When I finally understood

I never really understood why I was different. I just knew I was different. I was a head of most kids by learning how to walk and talk at an early age (before I was a year old). I accepted and understood everything fully at I wanna say 13 or 14 years old.

Mental Stuff

I am living with ADHD, PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression. People think it’s easy. It’s not. I am here to share what it has been like so far for me and to help others to the best of my ability.