Soahbee - What Are We?

Girls, I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to know what happened, I haven't been able to sleep for days because of all this.😫

So today after school I didn't go home straight away, but I wrote him a message asking where he is and I want to talk to him a bit. I wrote just in time, because he replied that he was leaving now, but we could meet in the yard. I quickly ran out into the yard where I saw him, he was smoking and leaning against the wall, it seemed that he was going to his car because he had his bag and a lot of papers.

So out of a sudden impulse, since I had been waiting so long for us to talk, I ran to him and without even thinking, I just opened my mouth: "I feel like I'm not important." - I told him honestly while trying to catch my breath (bc I had been running so far) lol YEAHHH girls…I told him this without any hesitation. ???!! WTF WHY

And R (I think) expected everything but this, because he looked at me with such big eyes and then started to laugh softly and put down his cigarette. Ofc I got upset bc I thought he wasn't taking me seriously and I told him: "this isn't funny! are you mad at me?" 😭😭 After that, my eyes widened when he came closer to me and raised his hand. "Do you see this?" - he asked and pointed to the bracelet that I had given him... "If you weren't important to me, I wouldn't be wearing this gift." - he said, ruffled my hair and pinched my face again. (i died)

After that, he told me that he had a lot to do and that he had to go now because he was already late. The events happened as fast as always, so I just nodded and he said goodbye.

Honestly, I'm a little relieved that there's no problem between the two of us, but I feel that it's no coincidence that he's been "neglecting" me so far... but it's okay now.

so maybe i don't need to worry?

Story time! The gathering. pt.2

I was angry, tense, I had all sorts of problems and maybe I slammed the glass on the counter too angrily because it was quite loud, but I didn't know what to do, I was so freaked out. Plus, I already had so much alcohol in me that I reacted much more sensitively. It seems long written down, but it happened in a few seconds and took place inside me, but I was listening with a thousand ears to see how R would react to this question. I will try to recall verbatim what he said: "I think it's nothing, she's a very nice woman, but she didn't manage to steal my heart."

Girls, I'm so stupid. I should have been happy about that at that moment, but all I could think about was that R could be stolen from me at any time. What's more it turned out during their conversation that the woman is 37 years old, so older than R! lol OKAY

This is where Soah got herself into a very uncomfortable situation. Yes, that's me! KILL ME I couldn't keep my mouth shut and specifically said this: "Why don't you date someone younger?" Of course, when I realized what I had said, I regretted it.😭😭 R immediately turned back to me and laughingly asked: "What do you mean?" and that's when I started to save what I could... I started to say something like "I mean, I don't interfere, it's just that a 37-year-old woman wants to start a family too quickly because of the biological clock ticking, etc" (that's all I remember, which was a meaningful sentence) lol 💀 You should have seen my blushing akward face while R just listened curiously to my monologue. I will never accept vodka from anyone again!!!😖 BRUHH

BUT then I was very surprised because I couldn't even finish my nonsense. R took my hand and said "Come dance with me" but I immediately stopped and told him that I can't dance. ????? AAA "Just follow my steps" - he said and started dancing with me to some old retro music, but it didn't really go well for me, although he spun me around twice and then he even danced with my father. (this was funny) this man knows how to kill me.😭

I'm actually glad that R brushed off my awkward speech and surprised me by asking me to dance. At least that way I didn't put myself in an even more unpleasant situation. Then of course, we were not only busy with each other, I will only describe those parts to you. So he wasn't just with me all night, he also talked a lot with other people and so did I. But I was brave enough to hug him and maybe I hugged him longer than I should have, but he didn't mind me hanging on him. And what is worth mentioning is that while I was hugging him, after a while he said: "You drank too much huh?" - he said while pinching my face, then I told him not to pinch me all the time and he pinched my face again. Sir...sir..

The problem girls is that I fell too much in love with him and I think he can see that too..(?) (maybe idk??) maybe He sees but does not push the boundaries, but I noticed that if I step and I approach he does not reject it and allows it... so idk So much has happened, but now I'm really going to stop girls, because I'm writing too much. These were the important ones and the ones I remember more precisely.

There were still a few things that happened between us that were inexplicable, but maybe I will share them later...

(I would also like to say that now that I have written this down, I am a little relieved that he is not going on another date with that woman and that he rejected her.)

Teaching a man how to be a men? No thanks, that's not my job.

Sorry girls for keeping you waiting!! <3 I brought the whole story of how I got to the point where he took me to college in the morning.

I don't know if you believe in fate, but this is more or less in this category. THIS IS NOT ACCIDENTAL!!!!😵 The day started as a usual tired morning, I almost always stop at my favorite small bakery and buy some pastries. (I even worked there part-time in the summer, so the place grew close to my heart) You should know that this place it is so popular that everyone comes in the morning to buy food or coffee etc.

Well, the point is that I got in line and was lost in my thoughts, when a familiar man stood in line, he looked like R… but there were quite a few people standing between us, so I couldn't decide if it was really him or if I was so obsessed with him that I hallucinate him everywhere. ??! lol AND I WASN'T HALLUCINATING!!! When he paid, he kindly thanked him for what he bought, then turned around and BOOM R! IT WAS R!!!😱 I thought to myself, what the hell is this coincidence that we meet at the same bakery at the same time???!!! HUH??

and it was so funny, bc when he turned and looked at me at first he just kept going, then I saw that he realized it was me and looked at me with big eyes, then he immediately stopped and I just giggled and waved at him. "What are you doing here so early?" (That was his first sentence lol thank you sir, good morning to you too anyway.)

I told him that I stop at this bakery almost every morning and I could see his confusion bc he said that he too. umm ohh Well, it turned out that until now, we had been going to the same bakery almost every day in the morning and almost never met. LOL Imagine girls, after that he waited for me to buy what I wanted and when I wanted to pay for my coffee, he said he would invite me and HE PAID FOR MY COFFEE!!!?!😭😭 (it's already clear marriage)

That's actually how we went to school together, because he told me to get in the car and he'd be happy to take me, even though the university is only a few minutes away. and UHHH it was so good, I've never seen his tired "I woke up early and I didn't even drink my first coffee" head, but honestly girls, this man with circle eyes is even more attractive to me. I love it... I got out of the car in the parking lot of the university so proudly, as if I were really his little princess. hihi 🤗

So, in short, that's all about our little chance meeting, but we talked about the fact that from now on, we might meet sometimes "by chance" in the bakery. <3

It's a small thing, but I have to write it down.

R was talking to a couple of teachers and students when I approached him, but I saw that they could be talking about something important, so I didn't want to disturb him. But while he was listening to his colleague, he grabbed the back of my neck and rested his hand on it the whole time they were talking, so I couldn't leave. (I didn't even want to leave)😭 Maybe it was nothing to him, but I could barely breathe when his warm hand was on the back of my neck and sometimes he even caressed it.😵 I felt like a puppy but i dont mind if he wants I bark for him. lol