He Is My Everything - Tumblr Posts

He is my boy.

@nachodroppedfood I seek approval from you.

Omg, thank you so, so much. He is so cute, I want to eat him and just collapse on the floor. Such a baby girl.

Rise and shine Demo-nation, rise and shine

P.S.: Once again, have to say your "9 mercs" fanart is bloody gorgeous

Hi. Let me just say your last Demo fanart was immaculately good. I almost cried on those colors and his adorable face. And I crave more. Would you be so kind to draw more Demoman? If it isn't too much

Right now my main focus is finishing the 9 mercs, but thanks a lot You can have this happy demo, thanks for your nice comments ;w;

5:40 AM ft. draken

you grip your windowsill as your eyes dart over the hedge, trying to desperately find the familiar assailant who threw a pebble at your window. "i didn't think you'd be up this early," a voice calls, and you look directly below to see your boyfriend, ken ryuuguji standing in your garden, hands stuffed in his pockets impassively. there's that early morning mist rolling around shibuya, sun barely peeking over the clouds and the air of a city slowly coming to life. "i didn't think you'd be up this early either," you reply, resting your face in your elbows.

it had become tradition for him to show up at least once a week unnoticed, unannounced outside your house (oftentimes ending up with him coming inside) at ungodly hours. you feel a slight chill in the spaghetti top you're wearing as a night-suit, and he notices your  dull shiver, frowning. "go back inside," he calls. "nooo, you're here," you whine. "you look like absolute shit," he says (a lie, you could never look bad to him), and you pout. "why're you up so early anyways?", he asks.

"catching up on some work," you stretch, yawning. "idiot," he mutters, and you yell (as loudly as you can without waking up your parents) "hey!," in protest. "get some rest," he commands, turning to walk off. you roll your eyes. always so stupidly blunt. "where are you going?", you call after him. "back to my place," he says, craning his neck towards you. you nearly fall, clutching your chest dramatically before steadying yourself on the sill. "aww, you came all the way just to see me," you coo and it's his turn to roll his eyes.

"come inside," you add. "it's cold out," you explain (an excuse just to fall asleep with him) as he sighs . "my bike?", he gestures (not that it would ever stop him from saying no to you). "mom and dad know you come anyways, 's fine," you wave him off, beckoning him closer to your window and dropping the rope of bedsheets that you kept handy in your room.

he huffs. "the things i do for you," he groans, grabbing it and starting to climb up.  "because you love me," you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him through your open window. he lands on top of you, saving you from being semi-crushed by his good reflexes, which make him support himself on his arms. "because i love you," he completes, pressing a kiss to your lips.

© dr3ken mmxxi do not modify or repost reblogs are appreciated requests are open masterlist

𝐃𝐄𝐉𝐀 𝐕𝐔 — 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐉𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college au! draken x reader - exes to lovers (ambiguous)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your ex sitting drunk on your couch pouring his heart out is deja vu of the night he was drunk and ripping out yours

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.8k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: alcohol and being under the influence, mentions of draken having an ex girlfriend — but reader is gender neutral

the knocking on your door is incessant, and you know on the other side stands draken, but you want nothing to do with him right now.

not now, not later, not ever.

your ex-boyfriend is determined, however, and he pounds on the surface of your door with more vigor than really necessary at three in the morning. before you lose your damn sanity—and before your neighbors complain and send the cops your way—you swing the door open, staring into his red eyes.

he sniffles, shooting you a tired smile as he sways on his feet.

“h-hey, y/n,” he slurs, leaning on your doorframe to keep himself upright. furrowing your brows, you glance him over—he's drunk. it’s very unlike draken to be drunk at three am on a monday morning, but you suppose the circumstances aren’t exactly in either of your favors right now.

“ken, what do you want?” you sigh. he reaches over, poking your cheek gently, laughing quietly to himself at the feeling of the soft skin against his fingertip.

“ya got cute cheeks,” he chuckles.

“ken. why are you here?” pouting, he shrugs childishly, looking at your pajamas like they’re fascinating.

“dunno,” he smiles at you with a toothy grin. his eyes are crescent moons as they shut closed. “jus’ wanna be where you are,” he winks. and you know he won’t be leaving anytime soon, and you also know you can’t just leave him like this, so you grab his arm and drag him into your apartment, leading him to where the couch is.

“here, drink this,” you murmur, offering him a glass of water you’ve returned with, watching as he gulps it down in a quick motion. you fight the urge to run your finger over his tattoo, or stroke your digits through his hair, or kiss his forehead.

and if you close your eyes, if you take a moment and shove the past month out of your head, it almost feels like normal. it almost feels like draken’s here in your apartment after a party, drunk out of his mind and left in your hands by his friends to be taken care of.

but it’s not like normal.

the reality is that draken isn’t yours anymore, and you’re not sure if you were ever his. and the feeling stings more than any liquor he’s chugged down his throat tonight, but you can’t—won’t—let him see that. letting a guy like draken into your life was mistake number one.

mistake number two would be letting him see how deeply he’s rooted himself into it.

“hey,” he squints, pointing towards your collar. “what’s on your chest?” furrowing your eyebrows, you glance down at your collarbone, gaze meeting the spot he points to.

“it’s nothi—”

“who put that there?” he cuts you off. it’s almost like he’s sobered up now, the flash of hurt in his eyes and the strain in his voice all too obvious as you clear your throat, grabbing the empty glass from his hand and handing him a blanket you’d grabbed.

“it doesn’t matter, ken. you need to go to sleep. and i’ll call someone to come pick you up in the morni—” he interrupts you for the second time, and you think you might pop a blood vessel.

if you haven’t already, that is. you’re not quite sure if it’s safe to say you haven’t.

“who put that hickey on you, y/n?” he asks firmly this time, teeth grit as he glares at the darkened mark on your skin with disgust.

his heart is ripping from within, the slashes finding their way to the surface, and it almost leaves him choking. draken’s made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you, too many more than he should have, too many more than he thinks is forgivable, but one mistake he can’t grant himself is being too late to try.

and it seems he is too late—the symbolized mark of intimacy crowned on your skin almost mocking him.

“why does it matter to you, draken,” you seethe, and the campus nickname bestowed on him coming from your lips so bitterly has him reeling. his hand fists his pants as he clenches his jaw.

it’s too much, he thinks. every day without you is too much, every second his mind wanders to you is too much, every moment someone brings you up is too much, and every time he passes you on the way to class is too much. it’s all too much, and draken doesn’t know how to mend the broken pieces he’s torn himself apart to.

it’s his fault, but still, he craves your arms as safety to fall into, to shield him from his own mistakes, to protect him from the hurt he’s brought onto himself—onto you—and to guide him through how to fix it.

just like you always did before he threw it all away.

“it matters to me because someone touched you, and it wasn’t me,” he barks, and instantly, he regrets it when you recoil. looking at you pleadingly, his eyes beg you to stay, to not retreat, to not end things before they’ve even begun. “i…i just…are you seeing anyone?” he croaks.

“it’s none of your business,” you mutter. you find you can’t stare into his glassy eyes for long, and you also can’t avoid them, so after a few moments, you sigh deeply before adding, “no, i’m not. it was a casual thing,” you mumble.

you pretend not to notice the stress shaking off of him in waves, a sense of relief washing over him visibly.

“good,” he mutters. sighing, you reach over and tug his shirt up, signaling at him to lift his arms over his head. he complies, not saying much as he watches you help him out of his shirt and pants, leaving him in nothing but socks and his boxers. gently pushing him to lay on your couch, you go to cover him in the blanket, but he stops you.

“what are you—”

“do you miss me?” he whispers. “do…do you ever wish i was still with you…or anything?” there’s a sense of vulnerability in draken that you’ve never seen before, and you know your answer to this question has the power to all but shatter him completely. his voice wavers, and the glassiness of his eyes returns.

you can’t lie, so you admit a quiet, “yes. i do miss you sometimes.” he lets out a shaky breath, hand moving to grab yours. he’s still a bit drunk, you can tell by the way he misses the first time, and despite all that your mind screams at you, you can’t help but let your hand into his grasp.

draken will always be a living dream in your heart. he’s everything you’ve ever wanted, and you’d had it in the palm of your hands, but you lost it all too quickly.

you can’t handle the pain of him being wrenched from your hold once more.

“i-i miss you too, ya know,” he sniffles, and a stray tear runs down his cheek. and then another, and another, and another.

and pretty soon, he’s sobbing softly, gripping your hand tightly in your dark living room as he begs you to stay through his eyes.

this was never how things should’ve turned out, but they did, and it’s time you both accept it, you think.

“ken, we haven’t been broken up for long, of course, we’ll miss each other, we’re used to each other’s presence. but it won’t be like this forever,” you sigh, not meeting his eyes.

you don’t have to meet them to know they’re very hurt by your statement.

“how can you say that? i don’t think i’ll ever get over you—”

“i think you were very over me when the videos were going around,” you cut him off, glaring at him fiercely. and this time, it’s your turn to have glossy eyes, staring at him in betrayal. it’s all festered up until this moment, the hurt, the anger, the betrayal, the humiliation.

never in your time together did you think you’d stare in horror at your phone, watch as your boyfriend rambles away about how much you simply weren’t like his ex-girlfriend, how she’s all he thinks about sometimes, how dating you was never going to be like dating her.

and you suppose it was bound to come—the bitter truth. draken has always simply been too good to be true. too good for you, too good for your reality, and too good to believe was ever yours.

“i didn’t mean it,” he pleads, voice laced in despair. “i was drunk,” he tries to reason.

“and you’re drunk right now too,” you bite back bitterly. “who’s to say you mean this? how do i know you won’t just wake up tomorrow morning and not mean a single word of this once you’re sober again?” his lips wobble as he grasps your hand tighter, breath hitching in his throat when you try to pull it away from him.

everything burns, his throat and eyes and heart and lungs, and he just wants you to make it better.

but he doesn’t deserve that.

“i swear i mean it this time,” he pleads, sitting up and grabbing your hand with both of his. the tears spill past both of your cheeks, and it’s bittersweet and ironic all at once.

tears in draken’s eyes had always lead to tears in your own, but it was always because he was a part of you. you’d always been connected to him, always had your heartbeat in sync to the rhythm of his. but now, despite crying together, despite the pain in your hearts being tied to the same weight and crushing your chests, you’re planets away from him, disconnected at every chord.

“you could,” you smile sadly. “you could very well mean it, kenny,” you sniffle. “but that doesn’t always fix everything, does it?”

he closes his eyes, face twisting in pain as tears slip down his cheeks, and even with the twisting sear of agony in your own chest, it hurts more to see the same hold true for draken.

even after everything, your heart beats for him.

“w-what if—”

“please don’t, ken,” you plead. “please don’t hit me with what if’s. i don’t need any more of those, okay?”

“but i don’t wanna lose you,” he shakes his head. “it’s never felt like this, i’ve never broken up with someone and hurt like this. this is different—you’re different.”

“you’re different too, ken,” you say through quivering lips, tugging your hand from his. “you’re way different from who i thought you were.”

you don’t stay long enough to watch the way his face crumbles. he stares after your figure as you walk off to your room, leaving him on your couch with the shattered remains of both of your hearts on your living room floor.

“ken,” you whisper, laying on draken’s chest, the crisp autumn air grazing over your skin as he rubs your arm slowly. humming, he glances down at you, shifting his attention to you as you speak.

“what is it, baby?” your hand runs over his chest, stopping right over his heart. you can feel the beat under your palm, and it’s soothing, the rhythmic thumping somehow always in tune with yours.

“have you ever gotten your heart broken before?” he freezes for a moment before shifting to look back up at the sky as the sunsets. the kiss of the golden hue on his skin makes him look almost surreal, and you wonder during times like these how it is that ryuguji ken is yours.

surely it’s too good to be true—but then he’s tugging you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and rubbing the small of your back. all thoughts fly out your window.

draken is yours, and he gives himself to you each day, hoping you’ll take it and accept it. the thought brings a smile to your face.

“why?” he grins, pinching your nose. “thinking about breaking it for me?” you roll your eyes, moving to slap his chest, but he catches your hand before you do, kissing the inner wrist delicately.

“course not,” you huff. “just curious is all,” you mumble. he hesitates for a moment before sighing, grabbing your hand, and fiddling with your fingers.

“yeah, once,” he speaks quietly. “i never expected it,” he murmurs, lacing your fingers together.

they fit perfectly, you think.

“i don’t think anyone expects it,” you tease gently, hoping to lighten the air some. you wonder who could ever break someone like draken’s heart, how anyone could let him slip past their fingertips. “how’d you get over it?”

“what’s with all the questions, weirdo,” he laughs, poking your forehead. you move to bite at his finger, and the both of you break into a fit of giggles, the sound of his laugh spurring your own chuckles.

he completes you, each action he takes the catapults of yours.

“i wanna know you,” you shrug. “all of you. now answer the question.” shaking his head amused, he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, moving to hover over you. your mind fogs slightly at the proximity.

“i met you,” he mumbles against your lips, pressing his to yours, each kiss stealing your breath from you desperately like you have the oxygen he needs to breathe himself.

“that’s so cliche,” you roll your eyes, but you can’t deny the flutter in your heart at his words.

“what about you?” he questions. “you know all my secrets, let’s hear yours. ever had yours broken?” you shake your head no, looking up at him with trust in your eyes and hope in your heart, blindly handing him pieces of you that you didn’t even know existed.

“no,” you mumble. “never.”

“good,” he grins, and just like that, ryuguji ken extends his arms and lets you place the pieces of yourself into the palm of his hand, letting you trust him wholly. “let’s keep it that way, baby.”

there’s a sudden pounding on your bedroom door that awakens you. jolting up, you look over at the clock, squinting as it reads six am. internally, you groan.

draken is persistent, you have to hand him that, but the swelling of your eyes and the stuffiness of your nose from crying yourself to sleep isn’t exactly the most welcomed. giving in, you sigh, standing up to open the door, greeted with the sight of your determined ex-boyfriend as he looks you in the eye.

“ken, i don’t know what else you want—”

“i realized something,” he interrupts.

“did...did you sleep at all? you look—”

“i love you.” you pause, staring at him with your mouth agape.

“what?” he repeats the phrase, slower this time, grabbing your hands in his own as he presses his forehead to yours, and this time, the roles are reversed.

this time, draken hands you pieces of himself that he’s kept hidden all along, and he’s begging you to accept them, willing you to reach out and let him drop them into your palm.

he needs you to take these parts of him—to make them yours.

“i love you, y/n,” he whispers. “and i hurt you, and ruined everything, and i’m sorry. you should hate me, and it’s okay if you do, but i love you. i need you to know that,” he says firmly.

he’s never told anyone he’s loved them before, and you know how he feels about admitting it out loud, how his childhood and his broken home and perception of love have all but physically blocked the words from leaving his lips, but he’s just uttered them.

to you.

staring at him incredulously, you watch as tears form in his eyes again, slipping down his cheeks while his hands plant themselves to your waist. he pulls you flush against him, and in a swift moment, his lips are on yours, searing and desperate. he pulls away with a sad smile.

“ken—”

“i had to do that just once,” he admits. “you don’t have to say it back,” he whispers, and his lips are still hovering over yours. “just say you believe me. just tell me that much,” he pleads shakily. “i’ll leave and never come back if that’s what you want, but tell me you believe i love you.”

and you do. you don’t know where this moment will take you, you don’t know how you can face the whispers on campus and doubts rooted in your mind, you don’t know what your future has in store for you and draken, you don’t know if the pain is always going to be there—or if it will slowly fade with time and let his arms feel safe again, but you do know one thing.

you love draken, and even if he doesn’t do it right, he loves you.

and if this is your last time in his arms, or the start of something new by his side, whatever the circumstances may be, draken will always carry the pieces of yourself you’ve entrusted in him.

“i believe you, ken,” you murmur. “i love you too.”

the smile he offers you is something of deja vu.

reblogs are really appreciated !!

Ahh Girls It's exam period and I'm really stressed about them, I have an exam tomorrow and my teacher is very strict. :(

I sent R a message that I'm afraid of my exam tomorrow, that I won't pass, etc. And he wrote "I'll call you when I get home"

HE SO KIND TO CARE ABOUT ME😭💘

So, after my exam, I went to the class where R exams the students. To be honest, I was a little nervous while I was waiting for them to finish. After everyone left the class, I looked in and R was packing the tests, then I waved to him and said that I would wait for him outside. He was just on the phone when he came to me, but he smiled kindly at me and after he finished he asked if I wanted to have a coffee. I said of course and we went to the nearest cafe, which was next to the university.

Haha it's a date isn't it? *delulu on*🙄

He was so cute, invited me for a coffee, told me to choose what I wanted. Then we sat down at a table opposite each other and it was all so romantic, it really was like a date, but of course It's just in my head. T-T I know I'm starting to think too much about it, but I can't help it when he spends time with me and specifically invites me to coffee to talk.

He asked how my exam went and I told him that I thought I would pass and he said that he didn't doubt it for a minute and that he was proud of me. 😍 after that we didn't talk about studying anymore but like two adults about normal things. He asked if I was planning the holidays and he also told me that he was going to visit his parents but would be home between two holidays.

While we were talking, our feet touched each other under the table several times AHHH 😭😭

We were there for an hour and we talked and laughed a lot and I felt so good.💞 It feels like I've won everything 🙈

painful truth.

I UPDATE TWO I

I'll continue yesterday's update! c:

So I got a taster of the blueberry cheesecake, which was very delicious, and then I asked if he would like a bite of my pie. (or maybe a bite of me?) lol Then he quite brazenly imitated my polite question "may I taste it?" as if he was teasing me...🙄 Anyway, we had such a good talk afterwards, luckily I managed to calm down, you know at the beginning I'm always very embarrassed, but then I see how direct he is with me and he makes nice jokes, so this helps me to calm down and try to give myself. I also told him that I don't have to pretend to myself with him and I'm glad to have such a person in my life. I meant this as a compliment, but he looked at me so seriously and said to me: "You shouldn't pretend to be anyone, because you're good the way you are, I like who you are and I'm sure others people would like it too."

I know he didn't say it in a romantic way, but it felt so good and I just said it: "I like who you are too, I think you are a wonderful teacher and a great person, I like your classes!"

I would have actually said that I love you, but I couldn't do that. He ruffled my hair as usual like a little child while saying that he would end up blushing if I said such things to him. (ohh..oh😳) We sat in the cafe for about two hours after he had to go on, so we walked out of the cafe and thank goodness I remembered the gift in time, bc that's actually why we met, so before we said goodbye I quickly gave him and I said: "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, thank you for your support and thank you for everything"

After that, I watched excitedly as he looked into the package, then I saw him happy and looked up at me and said: "A bracelet?"

I nodded violently and said that since I could see that he liked to wear jewelry, I thought he would like it.

and guess what, the end is THE BEST!🤧🤧🤧 Everything happened so fast that I couldn't even react in time, but suddenly he walked towards me and hugged me and said thank you very much and happy new year. He smelled so good, as did his hoodie, which I still have in my room. After that, I turned back several times after we said goodbye and I think everyone on the bus looked stupid bc I was grinning so much.

I think it was the best way to end the year and I can't wait to see him again next year. <3

Couldn't my teacher teach longer hours?🙄

Because when he starts the class, I'm just *ugh, you look good I wonder how your kiss would be ohh I want to sit on your lap please come closer honey ahhgrr* and the class is over.

GIRLS this man is playing with my heart!!!😭

In the afternoon, I went to school to support my best friend (she was taking an exam) and while I was waiting for her to finish, I went to the coffee machine to buy myself a drink.

I saw R walking out of the cafeteria with his colleague and it felt like I hadn't seen him in a thousand years!! I waved at him like an idiot and he was so sweet, when he saw me he flashed me a big smile and waved back. What I noticed right away was that his hair was different because it was cut (on the side) and I just LOVE it!!!

I'd like to think that it's beacuse of me, bc last time I mentioned to him that his hair has grown and shorter on the sides is much better.. but anyway. *delulu*

Since I saw that he was with a teacher, I didn't want to disturb him, so I just paid attention to the vending machine to buy a latte. Then came the cardiac arrest, bc while I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, someone suddenly put his arm around my shoulder and I immediately knew it was Him, bc I can recognize the smell of cologne from anywhere. "You don't have an exam and I see you here?" - he asked while half hugging me.

It's a good thing I didn't have the coffee in my hand, bc I would have dropped it. lol I tried to remain natural and told his that I don't have but my best friend does and I came to support her. Then he let me go and ruffled my hair before walking away from me. (he does this all the time) 🙄

then he looked at me with such a sad face and said: "I thought you came because of me, but whatever"

I honestly couldn't hide my surprise, my eyebrows shot up so much that I almost had to pick them off the ceiling... lol I saw that joking grimace on his face and then he waved at me and while he was happily walking down the corridor I died three times. 🤧

AHHH HE SOOO AHH IDK KISS ME PLEASE WHY ARE U DO THIS TO ME💘

Hello my Girls!

I checked off the "rival girl", bc honestly, who wouldn't be curious? She hates me and declared that R is hers and cannot be mine (???) lol

This girl is my complete opposite. I'm not saying she's ugly, in fact I painfully admit to you that she has a downright beautiful face and now that I know who she is, I remembered that maybe sometimes I saw her near R.

So if you want to fight okaay, show me what you can do girl! But I'm not going to run away and I'll still be R's favorite student, whether she wants it or not. (sorry not sorry)😊

I wish I could tell him how much I want to be the one for him and I wish I could hear him say "you're the one for me"

Just so I don't leave it at that!

It's Sunday evening and I wrote to him and he answered very quickly… I'm just saying!!😏 but anyway, I seem very relaxed, but I still giggle like an idiot when he answer me AHHH 😭 <3

Dear my teacher, I can be not only your favorite student, but also your lover too.

my lips + your lips = perfect match

A little update for you girls about the gathering!

It was really nice of R to take me, I couldn't thank him enough, but he reassured me that it was nothing to him because he was really nearby. We talked a lot on the way, mainly about school events and I was able to discuss the exam period with him again. It was so nice to hear him say he was proud of me. I always get butterflies in my stomach. I thank heaven that he is my father's friend, so sometimes I have the opportunity to get to know him better outside of school. As usual, the gathering was very pleasant, although now there were many more of us than before. I think my dad is more popular than me..lol

Fortunately, I get along well with the older age group, so it was no problem to talk to people. It's different that I could barely not watch R. Since R didn't drink because he was driving, I also tried to drink less, and to be honest, he still had a great conversation with me and we laughed a lot. My fear disappeared a little, I'm not just a student, I'm already his friend. (who is his friend's daughter but whatever) At school, he is much more measured, but I always feel that he is more direct at the gatherings and now he teased me much more than before. He still wears my bracelet and it makes me so happy. <33 It's so strange, when we are at these gatherings, I completely forget that he teaches me at the university and it's like I'm just a friend at this parties. And he also talks to me so casually and approaches me.

What is perhaps worth mentioning in this update is that our eyes met many times when we were talking to others and it was so inexplicable. I felt the situation was so special.

And in the end he was so nice because he offered to take me home after I told him I was tired and should go home. !!!!and when we were going he once touched my waist to help me get out of the house. then I tried not to die. He sooooo kind ahhh😩

and now I'm just sitting here in front of the computer and I feel that I won't be able to forget this man.😣💘

If He grab my neck and kiss me hard, that would fix me.

Tomorrow ahhh🥺

I can't wait to see him and hug him. (yes i definitely will) I hope he'll marry me after that and we live happily ever after. *delulu*

ok i don't want the "rival girl" to win so maybe on monday i'll gather my courage and hug R. pff In fact, I'll definitely hug him and I don't care how he reacts... OKAY?? OKAY! no one can defeat me.

i miss him and i want him.

GIIIRLS I think I've officially won the favorite student award!😳😭

I never thought Women's Day would be one of my best days ever. I don't want to write at length, I'll just say that today R unexpectedly pressed a piece of paper into my hand and said: "Happy Women's Day strawberry lady" But he was so fast and he didn't look me in the eye, he just went about his business and I just blinked and couldn't even thank him.😭 Then OMG OMG!!!?????🥺️ T--T I looked at what I got… this man gave me a chocolate and a note on which he wrote Happy Women's Day and his short signature. ????!! I died. WTF HE TOTALLY WANTS ME OKAAAY?!!

(btw, I realized afterwards that he called me strawberry lady bc I was wearing a strawberry-patterned knitted sweaters) lol