I Didn't Know I Had To See This Until Now

I didn't know I had to see this until now

Somewhere in an Italian rivera 🌊

Hey anon, whoever you are, hope you have a great day and here's something you should read, I request you, it's worth it- this

I literally thought about what to say but I think @drarrily-we-row-along said everything that was to. The thing is, yes maybe the drabbles might be predictable but I think I speak for everyone when I say this, aren't these drabbles or reading simply an escape from reality? Because for me this is. I'd much rather escape my cruel, harsh reality to read something that warms my heart, something that makes me giddy, something that makes people around me ask me what are you smiling for !! Really frankly anon, I challenge you to keep writing for almost 100 days straight up, keeping up with people's request, replying to a few, I challenge you, very friendly that is even.

But there's no hate without love. But allow me to tell you, there's more love for @drarrily-we-row-along than hate could ever exist, and wanna know why ? Because you can't hate her, the reason being, she puts up a smile on a 100 of faces every day and that would never be equal to a few hate comments she might recieve because from whoever, wherever you are, we are here with her to support her and will do as Long as critics exist.

And lastly, YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOUR WRITING IS WORTH IT, AND YOU MAKE ME SMILE WHEN I FEEL LIKE SHIT, SO KEEP GOING, LIKE YOU HAVE AND LIKE YOU WILL !!!!

Anon, May you find what you're looking for. We'd still give you our love.

Ok I don't want to throw hate unnecessarily fr take it as a creative criticism. At first when you started writing the drabbles I loved them too but after a while, even though the prompts changed, the concepts were just redundant( I mean the way you write out every story) At this point there's no reason to even continue writing these drabbles if it's just gonna be the same thing. It's so boring rn the same way they confess to each other in every prompt, they just suddenly confess,and also somehow end up loving each other secretly, them being so good to each other and nothing about school rivalry, I mean I know they're just drabbles but I've read what you wrote at first so I just think that you can do better. I hope what I said didn't hurt you if it did then im sorry

Hey friend!

Oof. Checking my notifications when I wake up in the middle of the night has finally bitten me in the ass.

I’ve written and rewritten this a couple of times because I’m having trouble not getting emotional about it.

Let’s start here: “I know they’re just drabbles”. You’re right, they are just drabbles. I don’t like to write things that don’t end happily, so in a drabble that’s only a few scenes long there’s only so much development I can do. I’ve actually said in several posts that I’m not a great drabble writer for this very reason. Maybe you’ll enjoy the longer, multi chapter things I’ve written when I find the time to post them. (Or maybe you won’t. 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Next: “they just suddenly confess, and also somehow end up loving each other secretly”. I like to think the ‘suddenly’ bit is because I’m bad at writing drabbles where there is limited space to build up to it, maybe that’s my pride speaking though. But ‘loving each other secretly’ is a little confusing to me. Do you mean that you’d like to see it be one-sided more often? (If that’s the case, loop back to the paragraph prior- I write things that have a sense of being happily completed.) Or do you mean that they shouldn’t be surprised that the feeling is mutual? Are you wanting one of them to confess and the other to say, “yeah, obviously. I’ve already planned our wedding.”? I just don’t get what you’re hoping for.

And I might have thought from those two bits that you meant you were sick of love confessions and want more established relationship drabbles but you go on to say that I address “nothing about their school rivalry”. In a drabble which is a couple of scenes at best I don’t have a lot of time to explore that and still end up with an ending that has them as even friends let alone together. (And these are drarry drabbles; they’re meant to end up together.)

I’m not entirely sure how to say the next bit without infusing my emotions into it. This part: “them being so good to each other” written as a complaint kind of gutted me. I don’t know what kind of world you live in, but mine feels shitty a lot of the time. I look at the world around me and I see so much pain, so much suffering, so much heart ache- I see people being unkind, people treating others disrespectfully, I see people who claim to love each other acting with anything but love. Things suck. And I can’t help but imagine that things suck for a lot of people. The world is desperate for a little tenderness. I am desperate for a little tenderness. At the end of the day, I want to put love and goodness into the world so I write about people being good to each other.

Let me briefly address these comments “I don’t want to throw hate unnecessarily but…” Justifying what you’re about to say with a precursor like that indicates that you know that the thing you’re about to say will be read that way. You reiterated it again at the end, “I hope what I said didn’t hurt your feelings”. Ooh boy. If what you want to say needs to end with an apology, maybe don’t say it, because all that says is ‘I know that I just said something hurtful but I don’t really care. I’m just trying to make myself feel like I’m still a good person’ because if you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have written it (or at the very least, you wouldn’t have sent it) in the first place. I say all of this only to ask that you not to send things like this to other people.

But you’re right. I could do better. I’m an amateur writer who only spends a couple hours a day writing fanfiction that I barely edit before I post. If I put in the time and energy I could probably write really beautiful things but I don’t have more to give at the moment. And maybe you’re right. Maybe these ficlets aren’t worth writing or reading anymore. Honestly the mean voice in my head says the same thing. My own internal monologue tells me that I am a one trick pony and asks me how many times I can possibly write about the same two idiots falling in love. As you say, the setting may change and the prompt may change, but the outcome doesn’t change.

But when that voice starts talking in my head I remember how many people have told me that the nonsense I write brightens their day. I remember the people who tell me that they love reading about the same two idiots falling in love over and over. Most importantly, I remember the people who say they want a relationship like that or that this version of Harry and Draco are “relationship goals”. I remember those people the most because if I can write something that helps people to know that they deserve to be treated like that, they deserve to be with someone who is good to them, then this isn’t a waste.

No, if my drabbles can brighten a day, or show the value of love, or help someone to know that they are worthy of love no matter what they’ve done or where they’ve come from, it’s not a waste.

And if it’s not doing that for you, if they’re boring, predictable, cliche, etc. that’s okay. Genuinely. You don’t have to like what I post. You don’t have to read what I post. Heck, you could start writing your own fanfiction so that it will be just what you want.

But I’m going to keep posting about these two being in love and being good to each other until it’s not doing any good.

Blessings on you and may you find what you’re looking for. ❤️

Harry: *listens to One Direction*

Harry: *sings* I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

Ron: Little things as in draco's di-

Hermione: RONALD!

Hi. Can you please recommend more draco!bottom blog? I feel so overwhelmed by the fact that some blogs with draco!top content specially put the #draco bottom tag It really hurts me as an autistic person.

I'm sure people have very different preferences, tho here are some bottom Draco blogs that I personally know. I may not be entirely sure, but I hope this helps

@drarrywords @drarry-is-my-therapy @dracobottoms @thebusyfangirl @malfoydusk @draco-and-harry-malfoy-pottah

If I'm mistaken please correct me, these are all I am somewhat sure of. And I'm sure there's plenty but these are the few I know.

And I'm highly apologetic for anyone making you overwhelmed. It's a safe place to talk to, personally me if you ever need me.

12. Liars and lovers

Dialogue prompt : If you don't hug me right now, I think I might fall apart.

Request by my favourite @thebusyfangirl @sunflowerishdolphin

TW- ANGST | highly inspired by young royals..

" you're just young in love. It's all just puppy love " beat

" it's not real. Wake up from this horrid dream" beat

" you're not in love, you can't be "

" you have black blood in you " beat

" you're a Malfoy " beat

It felt like flashes imploding in front of his eyes with the shutter of those lights going off with his heart palpating heavily like the beats of a rock music deafening his ears. He was over the solid surface but he felt as though he was in a Quicksand, sucking him under and his throat as if tied with a telephone cord which Only tightened with every beat. He could feel his hands but not his legs, it was weird, it felt strange like his eyes were closing but they were forced open. The feeling of the resting tongue on the top of his mouth felt very strange, as if it was the first time he was feeling it, but he wasn't. He always had felt it but it seemed so vivid. All his thoughts ran into had that wall always been that black? It was as if he was standing in the middle of a raging cyclone but not an inched of him was harmed as the water passed through him. And there he was, standing in his white sweater with emerald eyes, staring in the longingness , waiting for draco to take his hand.

" Mr. Malfoy ?" He heard. Draco's eyebrows shot up as his trance of thoughts broke and he looked at the opened door with a small figure's shadow casting on the surface.

" they're here " Reggie, the house elf said. Draco nodded from where he was sitting on the bed with a remembrall in his hand.

" I'll be there in a second " he whispered. Reggie nodded and left the door opened. Draco breathed heavily as he stood up and watched himself in the mirror, fixing his suit.

With a beating heart, he went where he was supposed to be.

" you know what to say ?" Lucius asked as he squeezed on draco's shoulder.

Draco reluctantly nodded, pulling his coat, shaking his hands to get rid of the anxiety bubbling.

Narcissa smiled fondly at her son, fixing his tie, then leaning down to whisper in his ear "it's all on you draco "

Draco tried to give a fake smile as he entered the living room, an interviewer waiting for him.

" the name had already a been corrupted enough for us that you had to be seen with the potter kid. Have our name not been tainted enough that you had to pull up another stunt to drown our name draco ? You're the hier of Malfoy, you can't be like this. We can fix this, fix you together but all you need to do is refuse any accusations that stand our way. You are a Malfoy draco, a Malfoy and we don't play with love. You are to marry a girl and live a life like everyone of ours and it ends there. You are to say, to deny everything printed out in Media. It's the Only way, the only way "

" are you ready ?" She asked. Draco heaved before he nodded, sitting down in front of her.

" we'll start of with the business you are bound to take upon soon ? So is it true that you had came up with the Malfoy business, right after you've been drowned in debt and you actually want to run something like that ?" She asked

" but I don't want to be the chairman or the bloody ceo or anyone of that company "

" yes, I will be taking over. And I very much look forward to it " he smiled stiffly.

" and is it also true that you will be in denial to any muggles and strictly follow a wizards and witches employees ?"

" people are never going to like it. Think-"

" that's enough Draco "

" yes. We believe that wizards and witches are the only one's capable of being our employees " draco answered with a stiff nod.

" and you're going to manage running the business alongside school ?" She asked

" but my education-"

" think about the family for one bloody second instead of just your own self " Lucius sneered

" I think it's very much that I run it alongside my education. And I very much think I'll do my best "

" now as of talking about the news that recently spurred through, you were seen with mr. Harry potter, at the recent fundraiser after party held by Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry ?" She asked, penning down with much interest

" big deal I was seen with him-"

" you can't be and that's the end of it. You are going to say that you were having a civil conversation, that's it "

" we have put our differences aside and I see no reason as why I cannot be seen with him " draco sternly replied, earning a low threatening glare from his father behind them " We were in a civil conversation if anyone interested " draco added

" so it's not true that you two were supposedly dating ?" She asked

" it's a lie "

Beat.

__________________________________

Have that wall always been this green ? Draco wondered as he stared at the opposite wall longingly, unnoticed tears escaping his eyes. He didn't even cared anymore to wipe them away as the memories rang loudly in his head from the very afternoon, the conversation he had with harry himself, how he had let him down and his loving eyes and the pain it caused him. The look of pain etched so defined over his face.

" I waited like an hour for you " draco whispered as he watched harry come closer

" oh did you now ? Why was that mr. Malfoy? Shall I apologize my majesty?" Harry sarcastically replied as he crossed his arms in front of him after reaching close enough to have a conversation.

" harry-"

" it's potter to you " harry raised his eyebrows sternly

" harry, i can explain " draco sighed

Harry looked at the tree behind draco, almost rolling his eyes " and what would it change Malfoy ?"

" harry, please-"

" please what? Or do you want me to please you with another comforting things so you can bluntly say it to the media that we aren't fucking together " harry Snapped

" I had no choice " draco raised his voice

" you never have one draco " harry too raised his voice. Just for a moment, just one, draco wanted to scream at harry, to tell him thing's aren't served on a silver platter for him as everything think's it to be.

" I- it was the only way whether you accept it or not" draco sighed. He shook his head as he Turned around to watch over the lake they'd been standing near to away from everyone, their meeting spot. Maybe looking away would make it all easier, just maybe.

" also I think we should break up" draco suddenly whispered behind him.

Harry frowned as he turned to see Draco "you want to break up?"

" is that your decision?" He added

" yes, i don't think we should do this anymore then" Draco's voice quivered as he spoke through " we knew it wasn't going to last anyways. And I m- I need the family name to go on and not being with you is the only way. It'll just be like a little school fling "

"fine " harry whispered after a long pause, sniffing, wiping off his escaping tears.

" it's better anyway. I'd rather be with someone who doesn't throw me away " harry whispered.

Draco sighed turning to face harry and cupping his face in his hands " you know it's not like that "

" seems otherwise " harry distantly replied as he stared far ahead over the lake.

" hey" draco tried to make harry look at him but only met with stern denial " look at me, please " Draco chewed his lip controlling his emotions.

Harry finally looked at draco, his jaw clenched " and what ?"

" I'm sorry " draco whispered as he wiped Harry's tears and kissed his forehead. Harry hummed, avoiding draco's face again. Frowning draco wrapped his arms around harry, not meeting with the same..

" hug me" draco insisted

But harry didn't.

Draco let his tear finally escape his eyes over Harry's shoulder " you have to understand harry, please "

" I do understand, very clearly " harry replied stiffly

Draco had nothing more left to say. His tears spilled with his arms still wrapped around Harry's in unrequited action, feeling his heart palpating rapidly with a void.

" I'm sorry " draco whispered again, wrapping his arms tighter but met with only the emptiness of lost love. The pain soothed across his body with the denied physical touch harry had once enjoyed so much. He hated this harry, the one who didn't hug back, the one who was so distant. He needed his harry back, if only for a moment before they break apart but aware of the pain he caused harry, he knew he wasn't going to but he tried.

" harry, please " his voice quivered in Harry's neck

" if you don't hug me right now I think i might fall apart"

" you don't deserve it " and with that harry broke free and without a glance walked away leaving draco with the the agony of losing him. He wanted to hug harry, he really wanted him to, he needed to but harry didn't and somewhere draco knew he was left to deal with it himself from now on. Harry was gone and it was draco's fault.

" Draco I asked if you're coming for dinner ?" Someone asked as they opened the door slightly

Draco looked up from the wall to the door, pansy holding the door half open " you go. I'm not hungry " draco sniffed

Pansy looked at Draco with pity " take care " and she left, too.

_______________________________

They were officially broken up. It was clear. Harry didn't spared a single glance at Draco, not even accidentally, he didn't share the table at potions with him either and much so, he didn't even cross paths with draco anymore but would rather be 4 minutes late to the class.

Harry was distant and not just with draco but with everyone else and it ached draco. Layin on the bed with lonely feelings, he missed their nights together, the nights of Laying under the star watching each other instead of the sky because they thought other was more beautiful. He missed the way Harry's wrapped around his waist from behind and the way he kissed his neck and whispered words so smoothly of a normal conversation as if it didn't affect him at all but most of them all, he missed kissing harry. He missed feeling the way Harry's lips Whispered in the howling wind his love for Draco. He missed it.

Draco threw his head back, sighing to himself, wiping away the tears of unhappiness that visited him like a nightmare every night after having lost Harry's because of his own faults.

But grief turned to sorrow, sorrow to pain, pain to numbness and numbness to anger, he threw away his journal at the opposite wall.

" fuck " he yelled as he harshly tugged at his hair " fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck " he groaned, crying heavily.

The entire month he had been waiting for the void to be filled with something, something other than harry but harry like a pest had reached the core of his heart and infected every inch that he missed him in every song, in every story, In every poem, in every walk, in every talk, in every conversation, in every tear, in every smile, in every melody, in every tune, in every aspect, he was infected with Harry's love and he missed him with the core of his infected heart that Could've only been cured by harry, who had left. Left for Christmas break, left draco, left everything about him.

He ran his hand down his face, pinching his nose trying to get rid of the feeling but nothing worked and he had to show up at another interview in another hour to talk about inauguration. He was screwed and he blamed himself.

" you are responsible for your own actions " narcissa had said one night " always remember that. Before anyone else's you're your own. Remember that "

" save the heart, you moron " harry had laughed one day while they were discussing a silly riddle..

" Save your heart, moron " draco's reflection mocked as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Wiping away his tears, he immediately got ready and checked out of the school.

__________________________________

" and you'll be running the business, right ? Like your father expects ?" She asked, over the mic..

" yes, I will be" he replied, uncrossing his legs..

" Mr.Malfoy, if you don't mind of course, after having denied last month of any sparks of your relationship with mr. Harry potter, are you In general seeing anyone then? Someone who'd take forward the malfoy name ?"

That ought to do it, possibly. Draco stared at the fraction of people waiting for his reply.

" save your heart "

" you're your own "

" mr. Malfoy ?" She asked again.

Draco broke out of his trail, suddenly becoming aware of the mic in his hand.

What the fuck was he doing ?

Suddenly everything seemed so real and all he could think of was the emerald eyes, standing in the middle of the cyclone waiting for him to take his hand..

" I'm sorry" Draco suddenly said as he stood up, dropping the mic and walking off the Little stage

" Mr. Malfoy ? Can you please answer the question?" She asked again..

Draco looked at her before for one last time he picked up the mic and said " I lied "

" what do you mean you lied ?" 2 people asked

Draco stared at everyone, his mind doing circle one more time before he found the little courage and replied

" I'm gay"

" and I love harry potter "

Will have part 2

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