Hey Bestie,

Hey bestie,

Hope this ask finds you in abundant happiness and health. Coming to the point, I want you to break my and several other hearts so, I'm gonna request from the angst prompts. Prompt no6

Please don't let me loose you. You never had be in the first place😭😭😭

I'm a heartless bitch. Come on throw bricks at me. 😭

Not mine

ANGST PROMPT NO. 6- “ please don’t let me lose you “ “ you never had me “ | TW- HEAVY ANGST | HURT/NO COMFORT |

@thebusyfangirl, you are to blame for the hearts I'm breaking including yours too.

He stares into the fire as if he was watching his heart burning in that blazing fire waiting for it to be completely burnt out or maybe he was watching his cold heart unfreeze then catching fire once and for all as if there never existed a time when his heart wasn’t cold. He sees his lips, he sees his mouth, he sees his eyes, he sees his heart, he sees him but he doesn’t remember the time when he changed so much. He saw him when he’d come back from work, and he’d see him when he’d cover their naked bodies with sheets and never talk about it, he sees him, he watches him too much that his heart starts to ache to think about the old times when there always existed a bubble of laughter, a neat smile, a clean hair cut, a boy who hadn’t forgotten what it was to live, to love, to be loved. Now he was not more than doll left abandoned on the roadside getting dirtier and dirtier, started to getting disliked by everyone but Harry had hope, he had hope that one day he’d see his Draco again, the one he fell in love with but as every day passes, with every call that Draco makes to call Harry to his place for nothing but sex, he feels like he is in a losing battle. He remembers about the time before he had left, the way he’d make Harry breakfast in bed, the way he’d remember how he liked his coffee, the way he used to run around the entire house chased by Harry because he ate his chocolate, he remembers his smile every morning when he’d look in the mirror while brushing and kiss Harry purposely to leave toothpaste over his face, he remembers his giddy smiles, he remembers those manicured colourful nails, he remembers his smile when he’d wait for Harry to open his present, he remembers his reactions when they’d wake up on the Christmas morning and when they would give each other the gifts and Draco would topple Harry grinning, he remembers his face when Harry would give his sweatshirts for him to wear, he remembers when Draco used to smile when he used to grin when he used to be someone who loved Harry, when he used to care.

It had been 5 months since Draco had returned back after having run away to somewhere unknown claiming he needed some time to figure out after a huge fight with his father, Harry had said he’d wait for him but he didn’t want to wait for the guy who returned. When he first came after his getaway and he had come back to Harry’s place, Harry had hugged him, then snapped at him but he remembers vividly the distance he had maintained, how he didn’t seem to care about anything, not even the yelling. He had waited for Draco to give up his facade the first week, crying to him, shouting at him to care just a little bit but 1 month after when he was tired of fighting, he understood that perhaps really didn’t care enough and when he said suddenly one day that he’d moving out so casually Harry had yelled again asking about what about their relationship, Draco had simply shrugged. He only watched as Draco started wasting away in drugs and weeds and intoxication and hooking with different people, he watched him corrupt himself until he knew he couldn’t bear to see him like that and had ended up with Draco in bed, he remembers feeling uplifted thinking that maybe something would change now but the moment Draco had stood up to go smoke in the balcony, leaving Harry alone in the bed, he knew Draco was gone. The man he saw, who smoked, who hooked up with people, who remained unemployed, who disgusted his friends now, he wasn’t the same man Harry had promised himself to wait for.

It was now as he was sitting before the fireplace, the robe hugged tightly to his chest as he thought about the heart of Draco he had once owned. He sat there thinking of everything, tears brimming his eyes for all the lost moments, for himself, for Draco, for everything they had built together now nothing more than just a memory. Their love was stronger than the rocks, Draco had once said but now it was his heart that was as hard as the rock. He thinks about the night he had with Draco before this, fucking in bed with groans of nameless moans, and hymns of saying incoherent words and the way Draco had shifted immediately as soon as he was done, Harry had remained very still gazing at the ceiling above him, he didn’t feel it he realised, he didn’t feel the regret, but he felt the pain, the way his heart started aching for touch that was unrequited, he wanted to turn to Draco like he had done million other times in his life but his heart broke when he saw in the mirror by his left that Draco had turned his back to Harry. He didn’t fall for this man.

He thinks of the time when Draco had told him he loved him and promised that he would Always love harry. He wondered if it held any meaning to him anymore. He likes to think that Draco is still there, the one he fell in love with, he knows somewhere that he's watching him from a distance and maybe wants to break free again but doesn't know how to but that was before tonight. It had been so long since Harry had been searching underneath those eyes for his Draco, the one he wonders if still exist but either Draco had perfected the art of facade or maybe In his time away he had actually changed so much that he refused to be who he was.

Harry stares into the fire, his feet turning cold, but he just stares and stares until he realises he feels something wet over his neck, he brings his hand to his neck and realises he's crying. Pity the tears pouring for something as such, harry thinks but now he can't seem to stop them, he cries a lot of his nights away, he spends most of his time this way before he knows Draco wakes up and he leaves as if he never came there but what more could he do than cry. His friends told him to leave Draco alone and to let him return to his senses whenever he feels like it but it hurts Harry to even think of a possibility where he's healing and Harry's not there , his heart hurts to think of the time when Draco is breaking down and Harry's not there to pick him up, his heart hurts to even think of Draco struggling alone but he was warned that he was hurting himself but he'd look at Draco being distant, smoking in the balcony and he'd think of how the hurt would be worth it if he ever got his Draco back, if.

He doesn't hear the footsteps coming but when Draco comes and sits next to Harry, he's startled.

" I thought you'd had left, like every night " Draco said in a husky voice. It was the smoke, harry just knew.

" I was about to" his voice came out broken and Draco immediately turned to look at Harry properly.

" you were crying " it wasn't a question but a statement, like he knew, like he had known all this time, like there was never a time that he didn't know.

Harry didn't reply.

" why do you do this to yourself if you're hurt ? Why don't you just leave " Draco says.

Harry almost shrugged, opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

" stop doing this to yourself " Draco said.

Harry turned to him, he gave him a small smile " I'm waiting for you "

Draco smiled. But Harry frowned knowing Draco didn't smile anymore, he doesn't. And then as a cold air brushed inside the apartment through the open window, Draco disappeared like ashes. A hallucination, Harry figured.

He doesn't remember falling asleep on that couch but he remembers when he woke up in the same couch with a note set on the table.

" get yourself out of the apartment before I get there "

Harry threw the note in the empty fire place, changed into his clothes and left.

He came back again that night, they Hooked up again, Draco turned away again and the night repeated itself.

The night repeated itself for so long that the day the hallucination turned real he couldn't find it believable.

" why are you doing this ? Why?" Harry weeps

Draco shrugged looking far ahead out of the window " I just- don't care anymore, about anything "

" but you do care.. about everything" his voice broke

" No harry, I don't. Don't you see it. I don't even care about you anymore, I keep doing this to you over and over again, every night and you keep coming back and I don't even care " Draco replied so casually.

Harry frowned in disgust, in annoyance, in ignorance, he didn't fall for this man " why did you stop caring ?"

" I don't know" there was a pause in his voice as his eyes just shred down just a little, so his cloud before his eyes has scurried away for a second.

" you used to care " Harry cried.

" I can't help it anymore " Draco replied.

Harry stared and stared at Draco for as long as he can remember until he had heard Draco speaking up again.

" You should go. I don't want to do this with you anymore-"

And instead of snapping at draco, he found himself begging" please, don't let me lose you "

Draco turned to Harry, his jaw clenched " you never had me in the first place, Harry "

Maybe he was right, he didn't have him, he didn't have this Draco who'd say something like this to harry, he didn't have this Draco who didn't care anymore, he didn't had this Draco who didn't love Harry. He never had this Draco but he likes to think that he had him, if only for a little while but he knew he didn't. Harry knew in those moments that he had already left, the Draco he loved was lost, somewhere wher Draco had gone to and left him there, perhaps in a safe place, In a pandora box away from the world because it was too precious. He was gone.

And he had walked letting Harry fetch himself out.

This was not his Draco. This wasn't his Draco.

Angst prompt list has been opened- requests accepted.

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Thanks for the tag @drarrylover-1308

2 journals ( one of them is empty), a bottle of water, hand sanitizer, some iron pills, a small box of my jewellery and Somewhere standing with the support of my wall is my ukulele ( not technically on the night stand but supported)

Much love, no pressure, open for anyone

Tags- @drarrywords @nousheen @hopeless-romanticsclub @thebusyfangirl

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

The group playing suck and blow in the common room 8th year

Pansy:*blows the card to Hermione*

Hermione:* suck and blows the card to Blaise*

Blaise:*suck and blows the card to ron*

Ron:*suck and blows the card to draco*

Draco: * sucks and drops the card intentionally** makes out with harry*

Pansy& Ron: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME

Da Capo- Part 10

Part 1 to 5 | Part 6 to 9

Obbligato (Italian: 'obligatory'). An instrumental part which is essential in a piece of music.

“I can’t do this “ 

There was something in the way the waters crashed at the right moment he said those words as if the words had added to the intensity of the moment, a sign of reality washing over them. The words lingered in the air like an echo for far longer and the strange look upon the other man sitting by the bank of the river turned into much huge of a frown as if the words were repeating in his head a thousand, several times. He looked confused but there was hurt that itched upon his face when met with rejection. 

“ You can’t do what ?” he asked as he stood up from the bank dusting off his clothes. 

“ This, whatever it is” Harry answered sternly 

“ whatever this is? What do you mean and where is this all coming from ?” 

“ why would you lie to me?” he questioned back 

“ lie? about what? I haven’t lied about anything “ he replied 

" listen, whatever this was, it isn't going to work- I- or whatever tried to make word " Harry huffed

" whatever we tried to make it work ? What are you on about Harry, we just spend time together because we like it, we like each other's company " Draco motioned his hand in the air as if agitated

" Yes we do and that's why perhaps this needs to stop " Harry sighed

" stop ? Where is this all coming from ? Firstly When did I ever lie to you about anything ?" Draco asked

" you hid from me the fact your research ended weeks ago and you still kept coming here and pretending as if it hadn't ended. I found your page stating the status of research, it ended more than 3 weeks ago. You lied to me about it, you kept it from me " Harry honestly replied

" w- what page ?"

" I don't know Draco and I don't care, the bottom line is you kept lying over and over. It can't work for me, I'm sorry but it just can't " Harry shook his head, taking a few steps backwards.

Draco watched Harry with a look no less than a shock and kept watching as the words sunk deep into him and Harry deciding to walk away, again.

" but-"

" there's no place for but. I can't do this Draco, I don't think I would've ever been able to do it either way, I- I'm sorry if I hurt you but whatever this was, it's ended " Harry replied.

" I'm sorry" he whispered one last time as he Walked further away and Draco stood there in the mocking silence with only the sound of the water rustling behind him and the sound of Harry's footsteps.

" so you're going to walk away again ?" Draco finally asked when Harry had reached a certain distance apart.

" you're going to walk away again like all those times. I don't understand this Harry, it's clear that we enjoy being with each other and I lied because I wanted to spend more time with you but i don't understand how is it such a problem to you. I don't get it why it's such a problem for two people who like being each other spending more time together " Draco shrugged frowning

" it's not about us enjoying each other's company, it's the part that you lied about the whole thing "

" and if I had told the truth would you had let me stay ?" Draco asked knowing what the silent meant afterwards. He knew Harry, he knew him like he was an open book ready to be read and he knew what his exaggerating silence meant, he knew it too well, so well that it scared him.

" I lied because I knew you wouldn't had let me stay,if I had told you the truth you would've wanted me to stay no longer than it was required-"

" why would you even want to stay ?" Harry interjected

"because- I like spending time with you " Draco sighed in defeat

Harry just shook his head " Draco- I left you, I literally abandoned you, why would you even like spending time with me, I'm a nutter "

" No you're not and I know you left me and everything but Harry I don't want that to be the end of it, it doesn't have to mean that we have to be in a relationship but I just like it when you're a part of my life, what is so wrong with wanting that ?" Draco emphasised

Harry looked at Draco then far behind " I- Draco- I like us this way but I- you did it all for me and I can't accept that "

" can't accept what ? There is nothing to accept ?"

" I can't have you wasting your time, your money or anything else just so you could be with me-"

" but what is wrong with that ? Why- why does it matter ?"

" it' matters to me Draco, it matters to me. It' matters to me that you without any solid purpose kept coming here, wasting away your weekend when you could've been with people back home and could have enjoyed being with them but you chose to disrupt your own peace just so you could be with someone like me" he raised his voice to a slightly higher octave as if he was almost angry.

Draco laughed at Harry humourously " so you're saying me wanting to spend time with you because I enjoy it is me disrupting my peace ?"

" wh-i- no- I- I don't know, okay, it just seems to me you're doing a lot more for me than is required or more than what you should do or more than I deserve. I don't deserve you coming here and doing all of this for me "

" why do you think you don't deserve it ?" Draco stepped closer, confusion glistening his face

" because- Because I left you and I told everyone the reason I moved away was because of us and I- I abandoned you Draco, I don't deserve your kindness or your time, not after what I've done to you " Harry signed defeated

Draco stared at Harry long in confusion before a confused smile covered his face, almost a mocking one " I'm standing right here in front of you, I'm telling you that I like spending time with you after everything you've done to me, it- it's ridiculous you think that. There's nobody more than me who knows all the shit you gave me, yet here I am, wanting to just be with you and you're telling me you don't deserve this, me or us. Harry let me tell you this, I make my own decisions, alright, I can think clearly enough who deserves me and who doesn't-"

" but you're wrong, you're so wrong Draco, you don't deserve me, you don't but you just can't see it " Harry furrowed his face, hurting internally.

" Do you not want this to be a thing, is that what it is? Do you not like being with me ?" The pain in his voice flowed like a river, making Harry's heart sink deeper upon hearing it.

" no- no Draco that's not it-"

" then why Harry, why ? Why do you not want to be with me ? Why do you think we shouldn't do this ? Why did you think in the first place that leaving me was an option ?"

" Because I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt you" a breath " again and I don't want that Draco. I don't want to hurt you again, you're too good of a person and you don't deserve someone like me. I know it hurt you but I know if we continue this, you'll end up hurt again and that time I won't be there be with you again. I mean it when I say you don't deserve me, I don't deserve someone as good as you and that's why leaving why I thought leaving you seemed a better option so you could see clearly why you deserved to be with someone who doesn't abandon" his voice quivered.

Draco chewed the inside of his cheeks, clenching his jaw, his hands in his fist by his side and he spoke up, again " you know what the problem is Harry, you think you're a shit bag, you think nobody deserves you but in reality you're just Afraid, Afraid of getting too attached because you think once you get too attached you'll end up hurting everyone. You live in your past the whole time, you think it's easier to distance yourself but you just do it because you're killing yourself inside as if you're punishing yourself for everything when there is nothing you deserved to be punished for, it's all in your head and I wish I could make you see it clearly but you're so blinded by the hatred for your own self that you can't see it, I want to be here for you when you need me but I know once everything starts doing downhill you'll leave because instead of facing everything you go for the easier part and I wish I could make you understand that but you don't understand that but you know what, you're Right, we shouldn't do this because I'd rather do whatever it is between us when you finally know the root of your problem or you're just brave enough to not just runaway and when you do that, I'll still be waiting " Draco snapped before he vanished disapparating somewhere leaving Harry alone with the echoing harsh reality. It hurt him because he knew Draco was right, he had Always been right and maybe that's why Harry was Always Afraid of everything and he chose the easier way.

In his sane mind, Harry Would've wanted to run away to Draco, to perhaps find him and explain to him everything and maybe try to mend things but his mind went places he didn't know existed and in his guilt he buried himself, wishing he hadn't even came.

He went home alone as alone as he had came, like all the times, all those days and all those weeks, he was all alone and strangely enough even after all this time, it hurt when he knew Draco wasn't there anymore, even if he was the reason for pushing him away. He wishes thay Draco would stay, he wishes that he didn't leave or he didn't snap at Harry and he wishes a lot of things but he deserved this, for once he actually deserved the abandonment.

It was almost a week later when upon being prisoned in his thoughts harry grew tired and picked up the dialler and called Ron, because it seemed the right thing to do.

" fucked everything up, didn't you ?"

Harry nodded, only realising he couldn't see him " yeah "

" how did you know ?"

" I saw Draco at work yesterday, looked terrible "

" I don't know Ron, is there something so terribly wrong telling a guy the truth? "

" I'm gonna tell you something Harry" there was a sound of shuffling which Harry assumed was because he was getting somewhere more private " Truth is bitter, you know like they all say but sometimes you don't know what the truth actually is. You think you did the right thing, you think that Maybe you became the nice guy by trying to save him or as you'd think but in reality you only end up hurting not just him but yourself too. When you left, I wasn't mad at you because you left or you left unknowningly, it was because you just assumed that you were doing the right thing but Harry, mate you've practically never done the right thing on your own. You think by leaving him that night you did the right thing but that guy showed up an year later just so he could be with you, then perhaps you weren't right at all Harry, Maybe you weren't right about the whole thing with him, maybe you just didn't know what the right thing was "

Harry remained silent for the longest of time knowing Ron was right and he knew it, he had known it all along but somehow now when the words were spoken out loud, it seemed to make him more guilty, it left home speechless, it left him filled with regret. And now the truth held more power than it has before as if it just now started making sense.

" I fucked up "

" you did "

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Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: ‘held back’)

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Last Line Game

Tagged by @lqtraintracks (find their deliciously hot and tender words here) and @lou-isfake (find their make-me-wanna-die Charlie words here). I love you and your words so much❤️

Expecting his tall, gangly, and ginger best mate, Harry was surprised to find his even taller, pale, and gorgeous ex on his doorstep. Draco looked as surprised as Harry felt, which was very confusing because he was at Harry’s flat, surely he expected to find Harry here. They stared at each other for several long moments, Harry unable to speak, his mind filled with white noise and his brain unable to move past DracoDracoDraco.  

Draco’s uncertain whisper broke the silence. “Tell me this a terrible idea.”

Harry grabbed his robes, pulling him over the threshold, and pushed him against the wall. “This is a terrible idea,” Harry said, right before kissing Draco. Their teeth clashed together, Harry used too much tongue, and Draco’s nose was lodged uncomfortably into Harry’s cheek. It was fucking perfect.

Tagging @vukovich, @onbeinganangel, @veelawings, @peachpety, @flightytemptress27, and @wheezykat if anyone wants to play and hasn’t already been tagged!

Hey bestie,

Hope this ask finds you in abundant happiness and health. Coming to the point, I want you to break my and several other hearts so, I'm gonna request from the angst prompts. Prompt no6

Please don't let me loose you. You never had be in the first place😭😭😭

I'm a heartless bitch. Come on throw bricks at me. 😭

Not mine

ANGST PROMPT NO. 6- “ please don’t let me lose you “ “ you never had me “ | TW- HEAVY ANGST | HURT/NO COMFORT |

@thebusyfangirl, you are to blame for the hearts I'm breaking including yours too.

He stares into the fire as if he was watching his heart burning in that blazing fire waiting for it to be completely burnt out or maybe he was watching his cold heart unfreeze then catching fire once and for all as if there never existed a time when his heart wasn’t cold. He sees his lips, he sees his mouth, he sees his eyes, he sees his heart, he sees him but he doesn’t remember the time when he changed so much. He saw him when he’d come back from work, and he’d see him when he’d cover their naked bodies with sheets and never talk about it, he sees him, he watches him too much that his heart starts to ache to think about the old times when there always existed a bubble of laughter, a neat smile, a clean hair cut, a boy who hadn’t forgotten what it was to live, to love, to be loved. Now he was not more than doll left abandoned on the roadside getting dirtier and dirtier, started to getting disliked by everyone but Harry had hope, he had hope that one day he’d see his Draco again, the one he fell in love with but as every day passes, with every call that Draco makes to call Harry to his place for nothing but sex, he feels like he is in a losing battle. He remembers about the time before he had left, the way he’d make Harry breakfast in bed, the way he’d remember how he liked his coffee, the way he used to run around the entire house chased by Harry because he ate his chocolate, he remembers his smile every morning when he’d look in the mirror while brushing and kiss Harry purposely to leave toothpaste over his face, he remembers his giddy smiles, he remembers those manicured colourful nails, he remembers his smile when he’d wait for Harry to open his present, he remembers his reactions when they’d wake up on the Christmas morning and when they would give each other the gifts and Draco would topple Harry grinning, he remembers his face when Harry would give his sweatshirts for him to wear, he remembers when Draco used to smile when he used to grin when he used to be someone who loved Harry, when he used to care.

It had been 5 months since Draco had returned back after having run away to somewhere unknown claiming he needed some time to figure out after a huge fight with his father, Harry had said he’d wait for him but he didn’t want to wait for the guy who returned. When he first came after his getaway and he had come back to Harry’s place, Harry had hugged him, then snapped at him but he remembers vividly the distance he had maintained, how he didn’t seem to care about anything, not even the yelling. He had waited for Draco to give up his facade the first week, crying to him, shouting at him to care just a little bit but 1 month after when he was tired of fighting, he understood that perhaps really didn’t care enough and when he said suddenly one day that he’d moving out so casually Harry had yelled again asking about what about their relationship, Draco had simply shrugged. He only watched as Draco started wasting away in drugs and weeds and intoxication and hooking with different people, he watched him corrupt himself until he knew he couldn’t bear to see him like that and had ended up with Draco in bed, he remembers feeling uplifted thinking that maybe something would change now but the moment Draco had stood up to go smoke in the balcony, leaving Harry alone in the bed, he knew Draco was gone. The man he saw, who smoked, who hooked up with people, who remained unemployed, who disgusted his friends now, he wasn’t the same man Harry had promised himself to wait for.

It was now as he was sitting before the fireplace, the robe hugged tightly to his chest as he thought about the heart of Draco he had once owned. He sat there thinking of everything, tears brimming his eyes for all the lost moments, for himself, for Draco, for everything they had built together now nothing more than just a memory. Their love was stronger than the rocks, Draco had once said but now it was his heart that was as hard as the rock. He thinks about the night he had with Draco before this, fucking in bed with groans of nameless moans, and hymns of saying incoherent words and the way Draco had shifted immediately as soon as he was done, Harry had remained very still gazing at the ceiling above him, he didn’t feel it he realised, he didn’t feel the regret, but he felt the pain, the way his heart started aching for touch that was unrequited, he wanted to turn to Draco like he had done million other times in his life but his heart broke when he saw in the mirror by his left that Draco had turned his back to Harry. He didn’t fall for this man.

He thinks of the time when Draco had told him he loved him and promised that he would Always love harry. He wondered if it held any meaning to him anymore. He likes to think that Draco is still there, the one he fell in love with, he knows somewhere that he's watching him from a distance and maybe wants to break free again but doesn't know how to but that was before tonight. It had been so long since Harry had been searching underneath those eyes for his Draco, the one he wonders if still exist but either Draco had perfected the art of facade or maybe In his time away he had actually changed so much that he refused to be who he was.

Harry stares into the fire, his feet turning cold, but he just stares and stares until he realises he feels something wet over his neck, he brings his hand to his neck and realises he's crying. Pity the tears pouring for something as such, harry thinks but now he can't seem to stop them, he cries a lot of his nights away, he spends most of his time this way before he knows Draco wakes up and he leaves as if he never came there but what more could he do than cry. His friends told him to leave Draco alone and to let him return to his senses whenever he feels like it but it hurts Harry to even think of a possibility where he's healing and Harry's not there , his heart hurts to think of the time when Draco is breaking down and Harry's not there to pick him up, his heart hurts to even think of Draco struggling alone but he was warned that he was hurting himself but he'd look at Draco being distant, smoking in the balcony and he'd think of how the hurt would be worth it if he ever got his Draco back, if.

He doesn't hear the footsteps coming but when Draco comes and sits next to Harry, he's startled.

" I thought you'd had left, like every night " Draco said in a husky voice. It was the smoke, harry just knew.

" I was about to" his voice came out broken and Draco immediately turned to look at Harry properly.

" you were crying " it wasn't a question but a statement, like he knew, like he had known all this time, like there was never a time that he didn't know.

Harry didn't reply.

" why do you do this to yourself if you're hurt ? Why don't you just leave " Draco says.

Harry almost shrugged, opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

" stop doing this to yourself " Draco said.

Harry turned to him, he gave him a small smile " I'm waiting for you "

Draco smiled. But Harry frowned knowing Draco didn't smile anymore, he doesn't. And then as a cold air brushed inside the apartment through the open window, Draco disappeared like ashes. A hallucination, Harry figured.

He doesn't remember falling asleep on that couch but he remembers when he woke up in the same couch with a note set on the table.

" get yourself out of the apartment before I get there "

Harry threw the note in the empty fire place, changed into his clothes and left.

He came back again that night, they Hooked up again, Draco turned away again and the night repeated itself.

The night repeated itself for so long that the day the hallucination turned real he couldn't find it believable.

" why are you doing this ? Why?" Harry weeps

Draco shrugged looking far ahead out of the window " I just- don't care anymore, about anything "

" but you do care.. about everything" his voice broke

" No harry, I don't. Don't you see it. I don't even care about you anymore, I keep doing this to you over and over again, every night and you keep coming back and I don't even care " Draco replied so casually.

Harry frowned in disgust, in annoyance, in ignorance, he didn't fall for this man " why did you stop caring ?"

" I don't know" there was a pause in his voice as his eyes just shred down just a little, so his cloud before his eyes has scurried away for a second.

" you used to care " Harry cried.

" I can't help it anymore " Draco replied.

Harry stared and stared at Draco for as long as he can remember until he had heard Draco speaking up again.

" You should go. I don't want to do this with you anymore-"

And instead of snapping at draco, he found himself begging" please, don't let me lose you "

Draco turned to Harry, his jaw clenched " you never had me, Harry "

Maybe he was right, he didn't have him, he didn't have this Draco who'd say something like this to harry, he didn't have this Draco who didn't care anymore, he didn't had this Draco who didn't love Harry. He never had this Draco but he likes to think that he had him, if only for a little while but he knew he didn't. Harry knew in those moments that he had already left, the Draco he loved was lost, somewhere wher Draco had gone to and left him there, perhaps in a safe place, In a pandora box away from the world because it was too precious. He was gone.

And he had walked letting Harry fetch himself out.

This was not his Draco. This wasn't his Draco.

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