Da Capo- Part 10

Da Capo- Part 10

Part 1 to 5 | Part 6 to 9

Obbligato (Italian: 'obligatory'). An instrumental part which is essential in a piece of music.

“I can’t do this “ 

There was something in the way the waters crashed at the right moment he said those words as if the words had added to the intensity of the moment, a sign of reality washing over them. The words lingered in the air like an echo for far longer and the strange look upon the other man sitting by the bank of the river turned into much huge of a frown as if the words were repeating in his head a thousand, several times. He looked confused but there was hurt that itched upon his face when met with rejection. 

“ You can’t do what ?” he asked as he stood up from the bank dusting off his clothes. 

“ This, whatever it is” Harry answered sternly 

“ whatever this is? What do you mean and where is this all coming from ?” 

“ why would you lie to me?” he questioned back 

“ lie? about what? I haven’t lied about anything “ he replied 

" listen, whatever this was, it isn't going to work- I- or whatever tried to make word " Harry huffed

" whatever we tried to make it work ? What are you on about Harry, we just spend time together because we like it, we like each other's company " Draco motioned his hand in the air as if agitated

" Yes we do and that's why perhaps this needs to stop " Harry sighed

" stop ? Where is this all coming from ? Firstly When did I ever lie to you about anything ?" Draco asked

" you hid from me the fact your research ended weeks ago and you still kept coming here and pretending as if it hadn't ended. I found your page stating the status of research, it ended more than 3 weeks ago. You lied to me about it, you kept it from me " Harry honestly replied

" w- what page ?"

" I don't know Draco and I don't care, the bottom line is you kept lying over and over. It can't work for me, I'm sorry but it just can't " Harry shook his head, taking a few steps backwards.

Draco watched Harry with a look no less than a shock and kept watching as the words sunk deep into him and Harry deciding to walk away, again.

" but-"

" there's no place for but. I can't do this Draco, I don't think I would've ever been able to do it either way, I- I'm sorry if I hurt you but whatever this was, it's ended " Harry replied.

" I'm sorry" he whispered one last time as he Walked further away and Draco stood there in the mocking silence with only the sound of the water rustling behind him and the sound of Harry's footsteps.

" so you're going to walk away again ?" Draco finally asked when Harry had reached a certain distance apart.

" you're going to walk away again like all those times. I don't understand this Harry, it's clear that we enjoy being with each other and I lied because I wanted to spend more time with you but i don't understand how is it such a problem to you. I don't get it why it's such a problem for two people who like being each other spending more time together " Draco shrugged frowning

" it's not about us enjoying each other's company, it's the part that you lied about the whole thing "

" and if I had told the truth would you had let me stay ?" Draco asked knowing what the silent meant afterwards. He knew Harry, he knew him like he was an open book ready to be read and he knew what his exaggerating silence meant, he knew it too well, so well that it scared him.

" I lied because I knew you wouldn't had let me stay,if I had told you the truth you would've wanted me to stay no longer than it was required-"

" why would you even want to stay ?" Harry interjected

"because- I like spending time with you " Draco sighed in defeat

Harry just shook his head " Draco- I left you, I literally abandoned you, why would you even like spending time with me, I'm a nutter "

" No you're not and I know you left me and everything but Harry I don't want that to be the end of it, it doesn't have to mean that we have to be in a relationship but I just like it when you're a part of my life, what is so wrong with wanting that ?" Draco emphasised

Harry looked at Draco then far behind " I- Draco- I like us this way but I- you did it all for me and I can't accept that "

" can't accept what ? There is nothing to accept ?"

" I can't have you wasting your time, your money or anything else just so you could be with me-"

" but what is wrong with that ? Why- why does it matter ?"

" it' matters to me Draco, it matters to me. It' matters to me that you without any solid purpose kept coming here, wasting away your weekend when you could've been with people back home and could have enjoyed being with them but you chose to disrupt your own peace just so you could be with someone like me" he raised his voice to a slightly higher octave as if he was almost angry.

Draco laughed at Harry humourously " so you're saying me wanting to spend time with you because I enjoy it is me disrupting my peace ?"

" wh-i- no- I- I don't know, okay, it just seems to me you're doing a lot more for me than is required or more than what you should do or more than I deserve. I don't deserve you coming here and doing all of this for me "

" why do you think you don't deserve it ?" Draco stepped closer, confusion glistening his face

" because- Because I left you and I told everyone the reason I moved away was because of us and I- I abandoned you Draco, I don't deserve your kindness or your time, not after what I've done to you " Harry signed defeated

Draco stared at Harry long in confusion before a confused smile covered his face, almost a mocking one " I'm standing right here in front of you, I'm telling you that I like spending time with you after everything you've done to me, it- it's ridiculous you think that. There's nobody more than me who knows all the shit you gave me, yet here I am, wanting to just be with you and you're telling me you don't deserve this, me or us. Harry let me tell you this, I make my own decisions, alright, I can think clearly enough who deserves me and who doesn't-"

" but you're wrong, you're so wrong Draco, you don't deserve me, you don't but you just can't see it " Harry furrowed his face, hurting internally.

" Do you not want this to be a thing, is that what it is? Do you not like being with me ?" The pain in his voice flowed like a river, making Harry's heart sink deeper upon hearing it.

" no- no Draco that's not it-"

" then why Harry, why ? Why do you not want to be with me ? Why do you think we shouldn't do this ? Why did you think in the first place that leaving me was an option ?"

" Because I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt you" a breath " again and I don't want that Draco. I don't want to hurt you again, you're too good of a person and you don't deserve someone like me. I know it hurt you but I know if we continue this, you'll end up hurt again and that time I won't be there be with you again. I mean it when I say you don't deserve me, I don't deserve someone as good as you and that's why leaving why I thought leaving you seemed a better option so you could see clearly why you deserved to be with someone who doesn't abandon" his voice quivered.

Draco chewed the inside of his cheeks, clenching his jaw, his hands in his fist by his side and he spoke up, again " you know what the problem is Harry, you think you're a shit bag, you think nobody deserves you but in reality you're just Afraid, Afraid of getting too attached because you think once you get too attached you'll end up hurting everyone. You live in your past the whole time, you think it's easier to distance yourself but you just do it because you're killing yourself inside as if you're punishing yourself for everything when there is nothing you deserved to be punished for, it's all in your head and I wish I could make you see it clearly but you're so blinded by the hatred for your own self that you can't see it, I want to be here for you when you need me but I know once everything starts doing downhill you'll leave because instead of facing everything you go for the easier part and I wish I could make you understand that but you don't understand that but you know what, you're Right, we shouldn't do this because I'd rather do whatever it is between us when you finally know the root of your problem or you're just brave enough to not just runaway and when you do that, I'll still be waiting " Draco snapped before he vanished disapparating somewhere leaving Harry alone with the echoing harsh reality. It hurt him because he knew Draco was right, he had Always been right and maybe that's why Harry was Always Afraid of everything and he chose the easier way.

In his sane mind, Harry Would've wanted to run away to Draco, to perhaps find him and explain to him everything and maybe try to mend things but his mind went places he didn't know existed and in his guilt he buried himself, wishing he hadn't even came.

He went home alone as alone as he had came, like all the times, all those days and all those weeks, he was all alone and strangely enough even after all this time, it hurt when he knew Draco wasn't there anymore, even if he was the reason for pushing him away. He wishes thay Draco would stay, he wishes that he didn't leave or he didn't snap at Harry and he wishes a lot of things but he deserved this, for once he actually deserved the abandonment.

It was almost a week later when upon being prisoned in his thoughts harry grew tired and picked up the dialler and called Ron, because it seemed the right thing to do.

" fucked everything up, didn't you ?"

Harry nodded, only realising he couldn't see him " yeah "

" how did you know ?"

" I saw Draco at work yesterday, looked terrible "

" I don't know Ron, is there something so terribly wrong telling a guy the truth? "

" I'm gonna tell you something Harry" there was a sound of shuffling which Harry assumed was because he was getting somewhere more private " Truth is bitter, you know like they all say but sometimes you don't know what the truth actually is. You think you did the right thing, you think that Maybe you became the nice guy by trying to save him or as you'd think but in reality you only end up hurting not just him but yourself too. When you left, I wasn't mad at you because you left or you left unknowningly, it was because you just assumed that you were doing the right thing but Harry, mate you've practically never done the right thing on your own. You think by leaving him that night you did the right thing but that guy showed up an year later just so he could be with you, then perhaps you weren't right at all Harry, Maybe you weren't right about the whole thing with him, maybe you just didn't know what the right thing was "

Harry remained silent for the longest of time knowing Ron was right and he knew it, he had known it all along but somehow now when the words were spoken out loud, it seemed to make him more guilty, it left home speechless, it left him filled with regret. And now the truth held more power than it has before as if it just now started making sense.

" I fucked up "

" you did "

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Angst prompt requests open

Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: ‘held back’)

Keep reading

Harry: what, no!! Draco and I are just best friends

Ron: and there's nothing going on

Harry: absolutely not

Draco:* offended * bitch please, you were making out with me in the broom closet 5 minutes ago

Ron : I knew it was you

Harry: DRACO-

Hi! Your writings are super amazing!

May I request Angst prompt 12 ?

Have a great day <3

Reality 304

Angst prompt no. 12- "I don't want us to be stranger's again" // thank you so much for saying that | TW- MILD ANGST| HURT/COMFORT |

We come in silence and we go in silence, we are born alone and we die alone, and we also love alone. Our hearts and our bodies are only given to us once and its on how we decide to abuse it. I would never call loving you an abuse, but i ripped out so much of myself to you just so i could love you that right now I remain with nothing but the flawless memories that stands with as a nightmare curling me into pain. I wanted to love you to the moon and back, i wanted to love till the sun died out but I think whoever wrote out stories had an effortless plan of keeping us apart but I think i would’ve loved you to the moon and back but I pondered over it so much that i realised that in the moon and back, I may go to the moon and never come back because my plane crashed, it doesn’t make sense but it makes in my head. I like to think that we never truly could love each other, we just loved the versions we spun out for each other but even if we wanted to stay till the original version, i think our mystery life writers thought otherwise, perhaps they knew better than we did. 

I think i would still be able to smell you in the rain because you always smelled so damp, it’s not particularly a smell that people adore, but i sort of liked it, i always thought it was earthly and reminded me of the greyish shade of the cloud i loved before the thunderstorm and the soft patting sound of the water dripping on the leaves, i think you always smelled so damp because you left your laundry wet for a little more longer than it was supposed to and I know i made fun of it, made limericks even but i hope you know that I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Do you know the colour of your eyes? There’s something intriguing in the way it only shines when you are smiling or you’re laughing because I have looked at your eyes in the sun but your loneliness was eating you alive, that your eyes never shone. I always liked the colour of your eyes. I always wonder if you thought about my eyes the way i do when we’re outside in the garden looking at each other. I wonder if you do it,or if you did it but i think it doesn’t matter any more now, our eyes doesn’t perceive each other the same way now. 

I always thought I’d ask you for a dance and we’d spin around the room and we’d laugh and we’d stare at the chandelier then we’d collapse on the ground because our head doesn’t stop spinning, i wonder if you’d take my hand if i asked you for a dance. I want us to grow old together and buy a house together and have a little dog and kitten but I think our holding hands together had sparked out infinities but it occurred to me one late night that our infinity is hollow, there’s nothing there, just you and me and I don’t want to think it’s boring, but isn’t it, just you and me? What if in a chaos one of us would wanted to go away for a while but we’re stuck in that infinity ring. But i think we found ways to escape anyways, It was after all you and I. 

I always liked to think that we’d have a name plate that would say “ Potter’s and Malfoy’s “ but now it leaves me empty to think about it, I think someone would paint over our nameplate and destroy it. I liked to imagine that we’d never end but even the empires who thought would live forever died. If we’re both the logs in a fire then i think we are the last one’s who kept the fire burning till the morning arrived and we died because of the air that poured in. I think somewhere our story writers are good and they’d let us end up together and in one time we’d talk with the painters about the exact shade of cream colour we want and the exact shade of blue we want for the kids, I think we exist somewhere, where we survive through it all and i still love you for you and you love me for me and we love each other to the moon and back, i think we love each forever somewhere even if forever doesn’t actually exist. I just like to think of our every possibility so at least in one of our realities or in one of our lives, we end up together with no complications, where our life have an happy ever after, i think somewhere we do, perhaps though not this life. 

“ I don’t want us to be strangers again “ I had spoken to you. You kissed the top of my head and you tell me we won’t be. 

But today as months have went by, you and I, we’re soulmates, just not the ones who end up together. 

You don’t speak to me anymore but you smile at me and somewhere it gives me hope, but where darkness inside me remains, it tells me you’re never coming back for me, never and I would die without your name to add to mine and i think one day i’d be okay with it, not today but one day. 

I don’t want to be strangers again, but i think we are, we’re just the one’s with bittersweet memories. 

Come back for me one day, Harry, come back for me, I don’t want to be strangers again, not with you because in one of our realities, my plane doesn't crash.

This is so short and I don't know why..

ANGST prompt requests open

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Don't turn on the lights

Maybe when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

And just sneak inside the bed

So you don't have to fear you woke me up

And I can put my arms around you

And make you smile Because you think it's my unconsciousness,

So when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

Maybe just sneak inside the bed

And let me hold you

Because you're finally home

And I've finally come home, too,

So when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

Maybe just sneak inside the sheets

And tell me about your day

Because you think I'm asleep

And I can smile secretly when you say you love me

Because you think I'm not awake,

So when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

Maybe just come and sit on the bed

And wake me up

And kiss me because you haven't all day

Maybe then we could snuggle and sleep,

So when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

Let them off

So you can tell me how much you love me

And I can tell you how much I love you

Maybe when you come home tonight

Don't turn on the lights

Midnight microfics

I just love this

i love you.

He acts like he doesn’t hear me say it.

Lips pressed against his, whispers in the dark, slipped casually into a sentence, punctuating all of my goodbyes. Like I don’t shout it, scream it, sob it.

He acts like it doesn’t matter.

Like I don’t turn down dates, slip out of obligations early just in case he makes time for me. Like I don’t plan my entire life around the faintest promise of what could be.

He acts like he doesn’t feel it, too.

Like he doesn’t search for me in a crowded room, eyes scanning until they find mine. Like he doesn’t make excuses to drop by my cubicle, to know my coffee order, to know me.

it's not a microfic but it is day twenty-seven

words: 118

day twenty-six

Call Me When It's Over

We were at the park because no one wanted to work—we being the three of us and Harry, who didn't work anyway. "Working on my life" was the official stance. "Working for free" was closer to the truth, though I learned to keep my misgivings quiet. Everyone had something to prove, which was why I worked fifty hours a week at St Mungo's, and Harry "worked" a benefit a night for his boyfriend's political aspirations.

"Just helping him out. I'd do the same for you," Harry said again and again, and, again and again, I swallowed around a funny feeling of despair.

With late afternoon came the shadows of a summer drawn on too long, faces cast saccharine-bright with a harshness only truth could bring. Harry looked at me, and I at him, time arrested under amber. Notice me, my silence plead. Let the seasons change. Let me prove I'm better than him.

for @drarrymicrofic prompt: My Juliana (and also pretttty heavily inspired by audrey nuna's cover of that xx)