Roads That Lead Back Home

Roads that lead back home

Microfic word: Always

No, he didn't expect he'd be here. This was the last place be expected himself to find but Harry had already fled off, left and the thing about Harry was, its that if he didn’t want people to find him, he’d do a great job at being lost, so, almost no one had his whereabouts and partially Draco thought it was better that way.

But it was one stupid drunk night where his system was intoxicated and he knew right now there was nothing more than wanting Harry back but he had no idea how to and if Harry would even want him back anymore.

But, there he was with a chance of hope or faith or anything for that matter, At Hermione's house, his last resort.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee?" Hermione asked as she peered through her kitchen window.

Draco softly shook his head, "Water is fine."

Hermione nodded instantly and fetched him just water.

As she gave him the water, she stood there for a few seconds, trying to muster the courage to ask him what's his reason, why after all this time he was here and why now.

"I made a mistake." Draco finally said, setting aside the glass of water while staring at the floor long enough that he could burn holes in it.

Hermione then found herself asking, "How do you know?"

"Because I've let the best thing that ever happened to me walk away without fight." Draco finally said raising his head to look up at Hermione.

She sighed and sat down on the couch on the opposite side, "Not going to sugarcoat but you may have."

"How could I let that happen?"

Hermione simply shrugged, "We as humans take things, people, time for granted."

"But I don't want to take him for granted. I never did but-I- I let him walk away." Draco's voice tremored, "I didn't want him to walk away from me, ever."

"Then why did you?" She asked as politely, as carefully as she could.

Draco shook his head, "I thought he deserved better.. I always thought he did but I let it get to me. Maybe there's always going to be someone better than me for him but I want to be with him, always. We didn't have an ordinary kind of love, we had something beautiful- and it was so much more better than I ever could have gotten but I had it, I really had it and it doesn't matter if I deserved it or not, I just want Harry to be happy, I want to make him happy."

"Then why are you here?" She asked.

Draco shook his head, "I think I'm afraid that he wouldn't want to listen to me."

"If you never tell him, he'd never know."

"but why would he even want to hear me out anymore?" He asked.

"Because I've seen Harry in love before," She took a pause to smile at Draco, then continued, "and as much as I hate to admit it, I've seen him the happiest with you, despite everything. Because I know he would want to hear you out and even if he doesn't, make him listen to you because he may not admit it but he wants to be with you too, always as you say it."

"You really think so?"

She nodded.

"where do I find him?"

"I think if anyone should know where he is, it should be you."

But that’s the thing, he didn’t know, he really didn’t. He wanted to place all his bets, all his options, all his thoughts into figuring out the place Harry might be at but he didn’t know. He knew Harry didn’t want to be found, so, how was he to know where he might be? 

“But I don’t.” 

Hermione smiled lightly at Draco and then said, “When you run out of all options, follow your heart, It’ll always lead you there. I know something that can help you, I can give you something that would lead you to him but he’s my best friend and if you really love him as much as you say you do, then the answer is right with you and you need not look anywhere but follow your heart.” 

Draco could bet a 100% she sounded like a riddle lady, maybe a couple of years earlier he’d have laughed at it and ridiculed about it but right now he couldn’t place one reason to think that Hermione was being tough at the moment. 

If anything, Draco knew he was alone, in all of this, he was alone. 

He left her house a couple of minutes later hoping he knew where to find Harry but he walked a couple miles in the September wind not knowing even for a split second where he should go. He thought maybe even giving up would be better but he knew better than to give up, he can’t and he doesn’t want to. He went around the edge of the road, tired out of his limbs, sat on one of the benches under the street light and breathed. He felt a freckle of cold air pass by and he felt colder than he did in that plain white shirt he wore so often. 

He sat there for a while, under the spotlight of the street light going through almost all the memories he had with Harry and trying to find the answer, trying to find a conversation where Harry might have ever mentioned going whenever he wanted to escape but maybe they never had that conversation, maybe they never talked about it. He felt lost but just then, right at that second, an ice cream vendor passed through the street with his cart saying “From the hills,” and even though it made no sense, it hit Draco and without even a moment’s hesitation he disapparated and Merlin, was he right. 

The lights on the top floor were flickering and Draco very well assumed Harry actually didn’t know about it because he could see the lights of the living room turned on. He cautiously went around the circle and saw that Harry was sitting on the arm chair in fact reading a book that Draco had multiple times suggested but had never read. 

It was in that moment Draco truly wondered if he should go in or walk away right now but walking away then meant to never have Harry again and not walking away meant facing a rejection from him that he was so sure of getting but he thought only of Hermione’s words and he took his shot and knocked on the door. 

It took him a while but the door opened with Harry holding up his wand as a matter of defense and Draco standing there, gazing at him as defenseless as possible. 

“You.” 

Draco couldn’t say anything, he just stood there, staring at Harry. 

“How did you know I was at the burrow?” 

“When nothing makes sense, home always does, right?” Harry had said that and Draco had forgotten about it until he had seen that ice cream vendor. There was only one home Harry had ever known and it was this. If Harry was impressed, shocked or surprised, Draco couldn’t tell but one thing was sure, him being here was unexpected for Harry. 

“Why are you here?” Harry finally asked.

“For you.” 

“Isn’t it a little late for that, Draco.” Harry narrowed his eyes at him for a moment then turned away to walk inside but it was as though Draco didn’t want to follow in. 

“You always said it’s never too late or was it just words?” 

Harry turned around immediately, almost agitated, “I don’t know, Draco. It was all just words to you when you gave up on us when you said you wouldn’t, when you broke the promises you said you wouldn’t break.” 

“But did I? Did I really give up on us? Did I really the break any promises, Harry? I’m standing here, in the middle of a random night, someone who gave up wouldn’t do this.” 

Harry shook his head, “No, but you gave up when it was most important for us to stick together. The bottom line is Draco, when we had to fight together, we fought against one another. That’s what someone who gave up does.” 

“But- Harry- you may have given up, I haven’t. I was lost, okay, I was lost for a while, I lost my ways, I lost the reasons to hold on, I lost my reasons to remember that it’s us against the world but I’m here right now.” 

“And suddenly you being here is going to fix everything?” 

Draco shook his head, “No, a hundred percent not. I’m not expecting you to forget about all of it and forgive me but I want you to hear me out,” 

“Hear out what, Draco? What’s there to say? We gave up, on each other.” 

“That I love you. Yes, Harry, I do love you still, always will and you know why? Its because you are the only person in my entire life who ever saw me for me, way before anyone else ever did." He took a pause and focused on the way Harry's expressions relaxed somehow and the way he seemed much welcoming than he did a moment ago.

"I know, Harry that I made it hard for you to believe that I still love you but I do. I never even stopped and the truth is I don't even want to stop because stopping loving you is having a future without you and damn me in hell, I don't even like the sound of that future. You are my past, present and I want you to be my future. I don't want to give up on us because Harry I want to wake up next to you, everyday and tell you that I love you and I want to sleep every night knowing I'm doing it in your arms, I want to bake cookies with you, I want to kiss you before I go and I want to come home to you, I want to travel the world with you, watch sunsets with you, I want to buy all my firsts with you. I want you, Harry, more than I've ever wanted anyone in my entire life. I would go hell and beyond to prove you how much I love you but I don't want to because I know our love is stronger than wanting to prove just how strong it is. You are the only real thing in my life, you're the only one who makes sense and I know I made mistakes, I know I gave up when I should not have but it was only because I thought you could do so much more better than me. I know you told me repeatedly but- Harry- it's easiest for me to imagine someone out there made much better for you, much better suited you.."

"But, Draco- I told you, I do want you. Always.-"

"I know, Harry. I get it now but even if I don't, I don't care if someone is better suited for you or not, I want you to be happy but I want to be the reason to make you happy, I want to be the reason you smile every day. I'm far from perfect and I know that but I want to the best of myself for you and it took me a while to get all of this but I understand it now. You can do better than me but I can't do better than you. I don't want anyone of us to have someone other than us." A tear slipped down Draco's eye's unconsciously. He had opened his wound, he had cut his own flesh again and he was bleeding and he was setting it in front of Harry to cure it, hoping he would fix his wounds.

Harry shook his head and walked toward Draco, "Draco, How many time have I told you that I want no one but you but you don't get it, do you? Fuck having better than you, you're the best I have. You're everything I've ever wanted, everything I need. I can't do any better than you because you are the best and I love you too, okay. Stop crying- gosh- we've only been away for a few weeks." But Harry didn't do much great at holding his tears back, his own voice was breaking, he himself was choking up and it would only take a blow for him to cry as well. He opened his arms and immediately wrapped it around Draco's body, embracing a shaking Draco and rubbing his back.

"But these weeks apart from you were hell. Being away from you was hell and I don't ever want to do that again, Harry, ever. It showed me how the rest of my life would look like and I don't want a life without you, Harry. I don't. You complete me."

Harry chuckled at Draco but he himself started crying soon because in all the days he spent away from Draco, he hated it with everything in him. He kept on constantly doing things, buying things that would remind him of Draco because he couldn't let go of Draco, he didn't even want to because in the short span of time they've been together, Draco has become his entire world and he really wouldn't have it any other way.

"Why couldn't you had realised all this weeks ago? We wouldn't have wasted so much time." Harry said at last.

"If I did, we wouldn't be here."

And it was true.

They finally separated from the hug but didn't move away at all. They openly stared at each other's faces, missing everything and embracing everything again.

"So, what now?" Draco asked.

Harry smiled at him and slowly kissed his forehead, "We figure it out."

"I like the sound of it." And he did.

And despite everything, Draco was glad to be home.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ @lilthislilthat ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter ​ ​ @textrovert-01 @drarrywords

Draco : You look good today.

Harry : *rolling his eyes* Okay, no need to be sarcastic. I'll change the shirt.

Draco : *confused* I really meant it. It looks good on you

Harry : Oh my god, you complimented me- babe- are you fine?

and rain will make the flowers grow

Yall. I am so so sorry for this. I am putting this fic under a cut for a reason. This is one of the sadder things I've written. CW: implied MCD/main character death, implied mutual pining, life-threatening injury. Based on "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Miserables. (Btw, I recommend the original Broadway or London version, or better yet, the 10th-anniversary live soundtrack with Lea Salonga.) Enjoy? I guess? And again—I'm sorry.

"It's raining," Draco said. His voice was strained and thick.

Harry stopped what he was doing—only for a second—to look incredulously at Draco. "Is that really your main concern?" He tried not to look down at Draco's body growing heavier, at the way it shook against him. Harry shook himself into focus, gripping his wand and ignoring the pounding rain at his back as he cast spell after spell to Heal the boy in his arms.

The forest was quiet but for Harry's muttering and Draco's labored breathing, as if the air itself was recovering from the cacophony of spellfire and shouts during the skirmish with the Neo Death Eaters. One of the bastards had thrown a spell aimed at Harry and hit Draco, who had lept in front of him to take it. Harry dropped his guard for an instant, thinking only of catching Draco's collapsing body. The suspects had disapparated from the Scottish forest they'd been hiding in after escaping the Aurors for months.

Harry didn't know whether the drops on his face and glasses were sweat, tears, or rain, but he managed to keep his vision just clear enough to see whether his efforts were working. He ran through the spells in his mind, and tried calculating the number of Apparition jumps it would take to get back to St. Mungos; their portkey had been broken in the fight.

He was just about to try another spell—one he thought he remembered from one of the mandatory training videos they'd watched, when he felt a trembling, cool hand cover his own.

"Harry. 'S okay," Draco sucked in a breath. "The s-spell is—it's Dark. What we know can't...reverse it."

Harry gripped Draco tighter. "No—no Draco there has to be a way. Or I'll get you to Mungo's, I—"

"Harry."

His name sounded so lovely, so heart-achingly perfect from Draco, as if it'd been whispered across a pillow and not a waste of precious air. Harry's heart lurched at the sound. "You have to let me try," he said, his voice cracking.

He felt more than heard Draco swallow. "There's nothing...to do."

Harry closed his eyes. "I can't just give up—"

He felt Draco shake his head minutely. "Just—" Draco groaned a bit, eyebrows wrinkled in pain. "Just stay here with me. Be with me."

Harry didn't know how to respond, so he just fell silent. He did reach into his satchel and gave Draco one of their last pain potions, which Draco took with only minimal resistance.

"I used to imagine this," Draco said after a few minutes of silence, his voice much quieter now.

"What?" Harry whispered back.

"D-during the war. I thought I was...going to die. An' I wanted—" Draco let out a shaky breath—"to die in your arms."

Harry's entire body shook with the force of the sob that ripped itself from his throat. He squeezed Draco tighter against him. "Draco," he whispered. It was all he could say, all he could think.

"I love the rain," Draco said faintly, so much so Harry had to bend down to hear him. "Will you stay with me unt—" Draco broke off to gasp a breath—"until the sun comes out?"

"Yeah," Harry croaked. "I will."

Gonna go dig a grave because i didn't expect you to admit that... 😶

rach (@sorry-i-ship-drarry), the loml, the light of my eyes, you're a dumbass

Draco complimenting Harry : your ass so fine

Harry who fell down the stairs, crying: my ass is so not fine

No tears to make it happen

Hurt/ comfort

He went dressed, in the nice blue shirt he always did like a lot, eager to meet him after days of succumbing in sickness for a couple of days. He somewhere wondered if he too looked forward to meet him after all this time, after all these days, he wondered if he'd be happy to see him like he knew he was. His excitement could barely be stored in his own self but who was he to blame, he was just a boy who had feelings for someone, a mere boy who fell for someone he had no idea would ever like him back or not but simply played by the game of fate and faith to make it happen.

He was just as innocent as any nascent lover is.

It's not as if he didn't care about the rest of them, it's not as if he didn't care about meeting his other friends after a long time nor was it that any of them mattered him any less but it's just that if his  heart was held captive by someone, it was only him, that one boy with eyes so green. He cared about meeting his friends who had been there for him much longer than anyone else but he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t more excited to see him. 

His excitement and happiness was so much that he even stumbled and almost tripped on his way over out but he made it work, he reached where he was supposed to and like he planned, like he wished, his eyes laid upon him, upon Harry and to his surprise he smiled while he walked towards him. 

“You’re back from the dead.” he spoke first and there was only thing Draco hoped, that he didn’t blush as hard as he was thinking. 

“Yeah, told you I’d be better in no time.” He shrugged. 

“It’s a good thing, it was starting to get lonely without seeing you around here.” But he only wished he knew the effects those words had on him. He even wondered if he already knew about his feelings and whatever he said that would make his heart race was on purpose, so that they’d end this quest of who likes who and why and finally confront their feelings or he wondered if he said those things on purpose so he could see Draco blushing, because he perhaps liked it. 

Draco tried to shake it off by a small shrug and said, “I’m sure it got really lonely because your eyes only search me.” 

Harry only laughed and Draco only hoped that he laughed because it was true. 

They spent their time walking around hogsmeade as usual, buying somethings here and there to keep in their dorms, to even do midnight snacking when Draco noticed Harry waving off to Ginny. 

“Friends again, huh?” Draco asked. 

“Oh, yeah definitely, that whole misunderstanding is past is now. Infact, I didn’t tell you, when you weren’t around, I spent most of my time with her, it was really fun.”

“Oh,” was all he could manage to say. 

Draco wished that he could take this information as casually as he said but it hit him like a brick, a huge brick in his face and he somewhere felt sure that he won't be able to hide his traitorous voice. 

“Yeah, It was really fun, we even went to that cliff side we normally go to and you wouldn’t believe all the jokes we both cracked up.” Harry said with a smile he couldn’t bring himself to hide, if not for his own sake, Draco hoped he’s do it for him but he didn’t. 

“I thought the cliff side was our spot.” He said, a sense of hurt in voice he failed to hide. 

“Why- Yes, I know but you weren’t there and I thought it wasn’t such a big deal, it isn’t, right?” and for what seemed like the first time he turned to see his face but Draco could barely manage to look in his eyes, so, he turned away. He knew his eyes would betray him. 

“No, it’s not. It’s cool. So, what’d you even do?” He found himself asking. 

“Oh, we had lots of fun, we spent the entire evening together, like I said we made so many jokes, she told stuff from her year, I told mine, we shared so many things we never did before you know and for the first time she really seemed into me, you know after the war.” 

And there it was, the crack Draco had been fearing all evening to hear. The faint crack in his heart he was always scared of developing and now it was and there, in that moment he only wondered if Harry could hear his heart cracking too, if Harry could listen to the sound of his heart breaking, if Harry could catch the heart break in his voice, if Harry could see his heart breaking in Draco’s eyes. 

“T- That’s a really good thing. Finally, you spent time with her, about time you know. I was getting tired of seeing you simp over her from across the table.” 

He still wondered how did he even manage to say those words out loud when all he was actually doing was holding onto the corner of his shirt so tight that he could rip it apart. 

Harry did a faint chuckle and if Draco’s heart didn’t shatter before hearing Harry’s words earlier, it sure broke now when he was able to witness the blush on his face that he could barely conceal and if his heart had already shattered before, it shattered way worse now. 

But what his years of trauma and his years of unrequited love has taught him, it’s that, to always find peace in knowing that the person you liked or even loved belonged way better with somebody else. He didn’t want to say it out loud ever, nor did he ever expected anything different but for once maybe he really wished that Harry would see beyond the facade of Draco and even like him a little bit but by the looks of it, Draco knew Harry only had eyes for Ginny right now. 

It hurt him. It hurt him like all the rest of the time it had hurt him. He wasn’t even jealous, he couldn’t even bring himself to be jealous, he was merely disappointed, in his own self. 

“I haven’t been simping over her all that long.” Harry said finally. 

Draco gave a faint smile and he wasn’t sure if it was for his own self or for Harry but he did it anyway and then he said, “Please, save me. Have you seen yourself? I have and I’ve literally seen you do puppy eyes at her, hell, even your voice changes when she’s around you. You like her so much, Harry, maybe you don’t even realise it all that much.” 

Harry only looked for a moment at Draco before he smiled shyly and said, “I do like her, a lot.” 

Draco only nodded despite what he really felt like doing. He just wanted to be a good friend.

 A friend, that was all.

“Shall we go back? It’s going to be late if we stay longer.” 

Harry nodded and they walked back to the castle. 

That night when Draco finally walked back to his own dorm, he replayed the whole conversation in his own head, he remembered the way Harry smiled, the way Harry talked about Ginny and then he thought really hard about all those signs he took as Harry remotely being interested in Draco. He thought of all the ways Harry talked to him and how he mistook everything and he couldn’t pin down why but for the first time in his life, he really felt his heart shattering loudly. He had never understood the depth of his feelings until now when he thought about Ginny and Harry and how he wanted to be okay with it. He thought about it long enough to forget that he had sat in front of the fireplace and that he had shed a tear and two and it hit him then, he loved Harry. He didn’t simply like Harry like all the rest of the people he had liked before, no, he loved Harry and that realisation broke his heart all the more because he found himself thinking about Harry finding his happiness in Ginny and it hurt him all the more when he decided that there was nothing more he wanted than Harry being happy even if it meant ruling out his chances of being with him or even confessing his feelings to him. 

He understood that Harry didn’t belong to him, he probably never will but one day Draco would have to make peace with the fact that one day he would see Harry’s hand wrapped around Ginny’s and there would be nothing he’d be able to do. 

Draco and Harry would never be a thing and unfortunately, Draco learnt it that night and there were no tears that would make it happen.

It was soon that the common room door opened and Pansy walked in and saw him sitting in front of the fire place. 

“Draco, you okay?’ 

Draco wiped the tears that had unconsciously left his eyes with the back of his shirt and nodded. 

Pansy gave him a sympathetic look, perhaps she caught on what happened but she didn’t bring it up. 

“I bought marshmallow’s, wanna eat?” 

"With chocolate dip?"

"You bet."

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ @lilthislilthat ​ @cissa-bee ​ @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter ​ ​ @textrovert-01 @drarrywords

Manifesting experiences into writing 😭