Jetpack Joyride If It Was WOKE!!!!1!

jetpack joyride if it was WOKE!!!!1!

BISEXUAL steakfries

GAYig

betty BUTCHpies

BIGENDER robo-barry

PRIDE FLAGsh

lab LESBIAN

GENDERbax

professor BLOWJOB

MANLIKER mikhail

HE/THEY minertaur

queen v

red PRONOUNS

NON BINARY nixie

(this post is based off this star trek shitpost that makes me burst into hysterics every time i see it)

tumblr literally just logged me out for no fucking reason while reblogging something and wouldn't tell me????? honestly what tf is this website's problem. it's cause i'm gay isn't it. is it cause i like men tumblr. huh. homophobic website /j

imagine Barry Steakfries but he's like. actually small enough to fit inside a phone screen. like he's literally not even an inch tall. just a tiny little guy that you can drag around with your finger like a shimeji. personally i'd put him in a soda can and spin him around

i feel like him sometimes tbh

random thought but i love the idea of Herobrine being less of an explicitly evil character and more of a weird cryptid thing that exists by accident and can only be perceived at long FOV distances by humans, forever being sort of isolated from the rest of them to only be seen partially obscured by the fog. he physically exists, but can only be perceived as though he were a ghost. he's very curious about other humans, watching over them as they traverse the world, but he means no harm. this can often look like stalking behaviour which can freak other humans out and make him seem menacing or off putting. scrambled throughout the world are legends and scriptures written about this mysterious being that make him out to be terrifying and threatening. warnings, spells and summoning rituals are seen scratched across the walls of ancient catacombs and ruined civilisations. locked inside dusty chests are torn and withered parchments scribbled with illustrations that depict him to be some sort of monstrous eldritch creature, perhaps mistaking something more terrifying for the legends of the strange man all should beware that have persisted for centuries. others depict him more as a silent, stalking shadowed figure, lurking behind trees and mountains with unknown intentions.

the only reason he exists is because of a strange bug that causes a duplicate of the main player to generate along with the world, and no matter how many times the developers of Minecraft try to remove him, he always quietly comes back somehow, implying that the rules of the game they created has developed into its own ecosystem that is slowly developing its own independence separate from the game, and that Herobrine is an integral part of it. he might possibly be a remnant of an ancient experiment or society that has long since disappeared, but for whatever reason, Herobrine still persists.

i think my undiagnosed summer seasonal affective disorder is starting to finally kick in this month and is probably gonna last for a while until next year, wish me luck everynyan we are fucking under attack