Do Not Let Others Dictate Your Destiny. Take The Wheel.

Do not let others dictate your destiny. Take the wheel.

-katie, 23:30

If I could speak

to the heart

that is now dead

I would ask it

if it's colder

there, in the grave

If it tells me, yes

then I will stay here

with you

where your arms

wrap me

into a chilly embrace

-katie, 23: 20

If you look back far enough, you can see…

tears stained on stars

hearts contained in penny jars

words queued on my tongue

trying to roll themselves out

Also there are blisters on the moon

a laceration on its side

scribbles of who we are

decorating the path where I stride

Helpless yet still devoted

to the corpse that you are

Mindless of the pouring

of the gust whispering

"He is gone."

It's time to move forward

but my eyes keep looking backward

to where we have talked

our last few sentences

such a painful farewell

I am trying to get by

If you looked back far enough,

you would have seen

me crawled

picked my pieces scattered

all over the floor

But you stared far ahead

Cold, uncaring heart

turning into a memory,

a scar taking niche

into the skin

that I wear

-katie, 04:00

She isn't your answered prayer.

She nags.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She argues.

She questions your intention.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She bleeds.

She crumbles.

She isn't perfect.

She isn't your answered prayer.

Sometimes she crawls back to her hide.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She lets negative thoughts swarm inside her head.

She drains the energy out of you.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She doubts.

She curses.

She remembers her traumas.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She drives you to the wall.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She shatters the illusion of a perfect relationship.

She isn't the ideal girl.

She isn't your answered prayer.

But she chose you over others who pursued her.

She tries to silence her demons when you're near.

She compromises.

She isn't your answered prayer.

But you should love her just the same.

-answered prayer,

katie, 18:00

How did school go, Summer?

I heard the wind ask

It's the first three days and yet,

my mind floats with the clouds

The readings kept piling

as my concentration escapes

with the world I create

with my hands,

hoping it would soothe

the anxiety gripping me

How did school go, Summer?

I heard the trees breathe

I wrote an essay today

and it was longer than I thought

Ideas kept gushing out

in a ruthless Niagara

Crashing within, demanding

to be inked

I fell lost in the midst

swallowed by the points

I wanted to shriek

In the end I felt drained

collapsed against the wall

How did school go, Summer?

My cursor blinked at me

I waited patiently

for the internet

as it paced sluggishly

with my hope withering

throwing itself on the corner

of my bedroom as I cursed

the shadows mocking me,

the stains carved on the door

How did school go, Summer?

The moon beamed as I sat

The stars looked down

as I wept,

shoulders fiercely rocking

resolves painfully crumbling

The wind puffs in cadence

with my suppressed screams

One, two, three breaths

drawn from the ocean

I am okay again

How did school go, Summer?

I wish I could say how

I have tales to tell

about how I survived

I wait and wait in vain

but the question never came

How did school go, Summer?

I pray

one day

you would care

to ask

-how did school go, Summer?

katie, 11:31

I look at the mirror

then back at you

And I can't fail

to notice

how much you

resemble

the sparkle

in my eyes

as you paint

that smile

-katie, 24:46