One Day You Will Realize, It's Not Fate Or Luck That Got You Here But The Choices You've Made, The Habits

One day you will realize, it's not fate or luck that got you here but the choices you've made, the habits you've formed, the thoughts you've run in your head.

-sometimes it's easier to blame the gods or destiny

katie

in another universe

i hope

i am happy enough,

confident enough,

strong enough

to be alone

katie

If we will ever come to a point where goodbye is inevitable, I will not ask you to teach me how to forget. Instead, I will ask you to show me how to remember. We made so many beautiful memories together, it's a shame to erase them all just because we have to part, and can no longer go back to the beginning to fall in love again. No, no matter how much it will hurt, I won't ask you to teach me how to forget. I will walk all the paths we've trodden and remember how your laughter sounded, how your fingers curled around mine, how your hair smelled under the sun, how your lips tasted. I will remember every bit of you, so when I am finally ready to let go, I can let all of you go the way I've let all the kites fly away when I was young and life was innocent and gentle and kind.

-let go,

katie, 17:30

someday i will teach

myself to write

a poem again

and it won't be about you

or the years

we wasted dreaming

about our future

while forgetting

to water the flowers

so one day they just wilted

away erasing

our existence

no, when that time comes

i'll be writing about something else

perhaps, not one about the war,

or the inflation,

or the rising heat index

i will try my best to write about

anything that does not capture

the stars in your universe,

the bubbles of thoughts floating

above your head,

the wind kissing

your hair, the rain gently gliding

in your porcelain skin

i will forget about the way

you made me feel

along with the memory

of how truth

became the first

casualty of a war

we didn't ask for,

a war that ruined

the taste

of heaven on my lips,

a war that created

waves of differing heights

and tenacity

i'll forget about the dreams

we buried beneath our fallen city,

the unread text messages,

the unpublished reels, drowned

in the echo of grenade raining

the afternoon sky, cries

of dissenters swarming the streets

like flies, shrieking out "freedom!"

oh, freedom,

when will i...

forget about everything

and write about cicadas,ignore

the ashes and screams filling

the air as i watch your head explode,

a watermelon being run over

by a truck!

i will teach myself

to write a poem that

doesn't immortalize you

however, everything

that you were stains

my hands with red-

a dark, raging

shade of red

-flowers wilting,

katie, 05/12/24

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i guess it's still in my blood-

the ability to bottle

all my emotions

like they won't

suffocate me

sometimes i wish i can

open up to people

but then,

maybe you can't really teach

an old dog a new trick

afterall

-katie

when i grow up

i want to be

an astronaut,

an author,

a magician

as a child, it was

easy to dream

of anything

a doctor,

a scientist,

a teacher

the world is vast

and full

of possibilities

now a grown woman,

my heart just wants

to be happy

but disappointingly,

happiness is elusive and

life is a sadist

that takes pleasure

in my agony

so in a world where

we can be anything

i became a masochist

-katie