Math! It's Delicious !

Math! It's delicious !

I generally adhere to the "traditional" classification of limericks; that is, the poem must be dirty, perverted, somehow sex-related, or simply gross to qualify as a "proper" limerick. However, every once in a while I come across a "clean" limerick that I like so much that I have to make an exception. The anonymous poem below is one of such exceptions.

A mathematician named Klein

Thought the Möbius loop was divine.

Said he: "If you glue

The edges of two,

You'll get a weird bottle like mine."

If you are not familiar with the concept Klein bottles or Möbius loops, I highly suggest utilizing Google and/or Wikipedia as they are quite weird and a lot of fun (and you can easily make yourself a Möbius loop to play with!).

For further reading: Acme Klein Bottles has a whole page of Klein bottle cartoons and limericks. It's awesome; you should check it out.

I will formally conclude this post with some spiffy Möbius loop/Klein bottle animation.

Möbius loop

Klein bottle

Klein bottle with highlighted Möbius loop

And finally, a Klein bottle hat that I might just have to order for myself...

This is why you should always drink on an empty stomach

There was once a big oaf named McGill,

Who quite stupidly drank himself ill.

He threw up wine corks,

Two meals with three forks

And a chewed-upon five dollar bill.

An introduction in rhyme

My two favorite forms of poetry are limericks and double dactyls. Limericks are a fairly familiar style of verse, but double dactyls seem to remain more obscure. This is truly a shame as they are distinctively awesome. In, what I think is, a reasonable manner of curing this widespread ignorance I will post a poem I wrote explaining the rules of the double dactyl. After all, when we want to create global change the best way to achieve it is to write about it on the internet, for it is truly a place of truth and knowledge.

~

~

The double dactyl describes itself

Silly-words frilly-words

Person in question here.

This line has six feet but

This one has less.

~

Setup for final line:

One double dactyl word

Metatextually

Sums up the rest.

 ~

 ~

For an for an actual, useful explanation of the double dactyl poem, I suggest googling it or visiting wikipedia.

Too soon?

Hoitily-toitily

SNL's Samberg had

Asked an alluring young

Lady to dance.

Finding some privacy

Andy excitedly,

Anti-climactically

Jizzed in his pants.

Brrrraaaaiinnnnssss....

Obble-y Gobble-y

Legions of Zombies! They'll

Beat you and bite you 'till

You're turned as well.

Dubious research in

Necro-neurology

Lead to this outbreak we

Can't seem to quell.

If Juno taught us anything, it's that chair sex will only lead to problems

A spry and athletic young pair

Once tried to have sex on a chair.

She let the chair tip,

He panicked and slipped,

And got splinters up his derriere.