Ive Been Unable To Talk To My Friends Since September. Its Been So Long That No One Even Cares Anymore,

I’ve been unable to talk to my friends since September. It’s been so long that no one even cares anymore, everyone gave up on me. Some people didn’t even wince at the first month without me, some people moved on within days, others are lying to themselves to say that they still care, and the rest have left completely. I’m the only person who deserves to complain about my isolation, because I’m the only person it’s affected. No one else had to lose 7+ friends. You just lost me, that’s all. That’s not much to lose.

What is WRONG with me what is wrong with me what is wrong with me I can’t breathe I can’t do this I can’t I can’t

I probably wouldn’t be like this right now if I stayed off my phone. Social media is triggering.

Police sirens, tornado sirens, ambulance sirens, hell sirens, peals of sirens inside my head

I think I’m hypomanic again, I haven’t slept, and none of the words I’m reading are making sense

The blood on my hands is drying, I don’t know whose blood it is, time is running out. I don’t remember how it got there, but with my lips parted moderately, I can practically taste it. I need to move, I need to run, but I can’t stop staring. Don’t touch me, don’t save me. I’m sinking, catatonically