Coffee Date - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Coffee Date - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this story was inspired by the song Here With Me by Marshmello. Lol I know I'm old school...

It had been a year since the tragic events of Jigsaw. Adam Faulkner Stanheight was recovering decently, at least it appeared. There were less nightmares occurring, and almost no more mental breaks. But this didn’t make life any easier. Your feelings for each other were one of the biggest problems to be resolved, if only one of you could start the conversation.

It was a quiet, misty, Saturday morning, as you waited in the cafe for Adam. He had agreed to meet for coffee at eleven. You were on time, and it didn’t surprise you to see that Adam was late. What did surprise you was how late Adam wasn’t. He could have been ten minutes late, or maybe even five, but not today. He was only one minute late, and that didn’t seem like it was that bad to you, though it was a first.

Adam walked through the double doors smoothly, the wind blowing his flannel back and whipping his hair into his eyes. The sunlight was behind him at an angle, casting shadow over the entire front of his body.

You shifted in your seat to gaze at him. He went striding confidently over to the counter, put his elbow on it casually, and ordered something quietly, then looked around the room.

His dark, searching eyes found yours and he pushed himself away from the counter, to you.

You spun your stool around to face him. You looked up into Adam’s face timidly. Adam was a very nice guy, who didn’t give a fuck about opinions or whatever you were like on the inside, but some how you got all shy around him anyway.

Adam’s air of boldness seemed very natural, like he didn’t have to think about it at all. But his demeanor always changed whenever he was near you. You weren’t sure the reason for it… or perhaps you didn’t want to be sure.

The barista called his name, and he went to retrieve his coffee. You hadn’t ordered anything; all you wanted was some quality time with Adam.

Faulkner sat across from you, and tipped his coffee to you. “Greetings,” he said formally.

Heart beating and lungs collapsing, you felt an adrenaline rush. Just hearing his voice made you enlightened. You felt like ANYTHING was possible!

You nodded respectfully back. “Greetings.”

He gazed out the window. “It’s a beautiful day for a walk.”

You shuddered. “No. Too cold.”

Adam fixed his eyes on you. “So, how’s the morning going for you? I heard there was traffic on the way.”

“Oh yeah,” you huffed. “Road work. How ‘bout you?”

“Tired. Was up ‘til three producing pictures. I think they turned out pretty good.”

There was delight on his face, as he thought about last night. That smile on his face was perfect. You loved seeing it. Sighing happily, you put your cheek in your hand. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. Family business got in the way. But I’m glad we could see each other today,” you informed him.

“Ah, the damn family!” Adam exclaimed sarcastically. “You gotta watch out for them.” He bopped your nose.

You laughed, Adam seemed thrilled by that. He smiled at you in amusement. “But I do suppose they aren’t that bad,” he added, and took a sip of his coffee.

He examined you while you gazed out the foggy window. You were aware of his gaze traveling down you, but you WANTED him to do it. You lifted up your arms a little bit so that he could get a really good view of your side profile. It was working.

“Sooo,” you drawled slowly. “Any exciting plans for next week?”

Adam stirred his coffee gently, and said, “I was thinking about getting coffee on Saturday.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s specific. Why are you planning things a week in advance?”

“I want to go with someone.” He looked directly into your eyes.

“Oh…” Your heart sank into your stomach. “Do I know them?”

“I’d hope so,” Adam replied wittily. “It’d be pretty hard to do anything if you didn’t know them.”

“Who are you talking about? My guardian angel?” You shot back.

Adam smirked. “Not your guardian angel. Mine.”

“Huh?” You asked dumbly.

Adam gave you a disbelieving glance, as if to say ‘are you shitting me?’

In a nicer tone, he asked blatantly, with a hint of sarcasm, “Will you get coffee with me on Saturday, dumbass?”

Your eyes stretched wide as the breath was knocked from your body. You gaped at him. “W-What? You’re not serious.”

“Hey,” Adam suddenly changed the subject.

Fuck, you realized miserably. My chance is gone! I should have just said yes! Now how do I tell him I want to go? It’s his time, so it’d look inconsiderate, if I asked to JOIN him during his weekend.

But then on the other hand, if I don’t bring it up he might think I’m not interested. Maybe he’ll ask SOMEONE ELSE!? But what do I do?

Adam nudged you in the ribs softly with his elbow. “ ‘Can I tell you somethin’ just between you and me’,” he sang clumsily.

You chuckled, confused. “Marshmello?”

Adam shrugged, and pointed to the ceiling. “What? I’m not the radio station.”

You realized then that it was the song playing above. “Oh. Yeah, I guess I’m not really observant,” you mocked yourself self-consciously.

Adam didn’t like that. “Not funny. You are observant. And smart. And beautiful. And that’s why this song is PERFECT for us.”

You stared at him. Adam had a good voice for singing, but he always dismissed it self-consciously. “How so?”

“ ‘When I hear your voice I know I’m finally free’,” Adam said with a smile. Slowly, he got up from the chair he was sitting in, and made his way over to you. “ ‘Every single word is perfect as it can be. And I need you here with me’.” He straddled you, and you leaned into the chairback.

You pushed Adam back embarrassedly. “Stop,” you grumbled.

“Come on, sing the next part.”

“No. Not with everybody here.”

“Hurry up. You’ll miss the line!” He insisted.

Before you knew it, you had the words out of your mouth in an instant. “ ‘When you lift me up, I know that I’ll never fall’.”

Adam brushed a hand through your hair. You loved the tingles it gave you. “A-Adam-”

“-What? Does that feel good?” Stanheight interrupted. “I know it does.”

Alarmed, you asked, “Wait, but…How-”

“-Didn’t have to know. I just… knew you liked it.” You blinked at him in astonishment, but before you could say anything, he added, “I’m way too cool, you can say it.”

“ ‘I can speak to you by sayin’ nothing at all’.” You thought it was appropriate to finish the lyrics. “ ‘Every single time I find it harder to breathe. ‘Cause I need you here with me. Everyday’…”

Adam leaned in, and started singing along with you. “ ‘You’re saying the words that I want you to say. There’s a pain in my heart and it won’t go away. Now I know I’m fallin’ in deep. ‘Cause I need you here with me’.”

You grinned at him. “What are you doing?” You asked him eventually.

“What do you mean? I’m falling in love. That’s what I'm doing.”

“ ‘F-Falling in love’? With who?” You stammered incapably. You were unable to believe your ears.

“With you,” Adam told you softly.

You narrowed your eyes. “What are you on about?”

Adam only tilted his head at you in disbelief. “ ‘I think I see your face in every place that I go’.” He winked at you. “ ‘I try to hide it but I know that it’s gonna show’.” He gave you a worried glance and an apathetic shrug. “ ‘Every single night I find it harder to sleep. ‘Cause I need you here with me’.” He lifted your hand up to his lips, and looked at you over your knuckles. You got goosebumps. “ ‘Everyday’.”

Extreme embarrassment flooded you, you didn’t know where to look except for back into Adam’s eyes. You forced yourself to sing with him, but it was only out of nervousness more than anything else. “ ‘You’re sayin’ the words that I want you to say. There’s a pain in my heart and it won’t go away. Now I know I’m fallin’ in deep.‘Cause I need you here with me’.”

“There you go,” Adam whispered quietly, a small smile of approval on his face. “Now you’re getting it.”

You gritted your teeth and glanced at your lap. You laughed awkwardly. “I’m just… singing ‘cause you are… It’s not like… I would be usually, or anything…”

“I like it.” Adam cast a glance at your lips briefly, and you felt your heart start up. Excitement sparked in your stomach, and rushed through your brain as Adam leaned in close. He pulled his fingers through your fingers.

The cool air coming from an open window helped you to concentrate on the situation. You were burning up from the blood rush. You focused on the smells of chocolate and coffee in the background, and tried not to think about how close you were to Adam Stanheight.

Adam brushed his thumb across the back of your hand slowly. You gasped and looked back at him. “What were you thinking of, off in dream land? Whatever it was, it got you really far from here… From me.”

“S-Sorry,” you mumbled.

Adam only leaned back, and said calmly, “ ‘Can I tell you somethin’ just between you and me’?” His voice was low and seductive. “Can I? Would you allow that of me?”

You squirmed underneath him. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m really, really… fond of you…” His warm breath slunk past your sensitive lips.

You squeaked. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Woah,” you breathed. “W-What do I even-”

Adam continued on as if nothing had happened, interrupting you casually, but not rudely. “ ‘When I hear your voice, I know I’m finally free. Every single word is perfect as it can be’.”

“ ‘And I need you here with me’,” you finished his sentence carefully.

“What about that date?” Adam asked you after a little while of silence.

Excitement rushed you. You couldn’t believe he was asking again! “Yes!” You blurted; you were not about to lose this opportunity. You put all the emotion you could into your voice. “I’ll be there!”

Adam stood up then, leaving you feeling sweaty and nervous. And not to mention, a cold place on your thighs. “So,” he said. “You have a friend coming over tonight?”

“Uh…” you stared at the table. “I was supposed to but they canceled at the last second. How did you know that?”

“I overheard,” Adam shrugged. “But I was hoping you’d come over to my place tonight.”

“I don’t think I should. I don’t want to bother you, you know…” you stumbled over your words hastily.

Adam put his arms over his chest, and looked at you condescendingly, with one eyebrow raised and glint in his eyes. “I need you here with me,” he repeated seriously.

You scrambled to your feet. “Alright. I’ll go. I’m excited.”

Adam took your hips and pulled you close. His breath was drifting past you, making you fidgety. Ominously, and very enticingly, he whispered into your ready ear, “Oh, I’d sure hope so, Y/N.”

Happily Ever After - Adam Stanheight X Reader

It was your favorite month. The temperature was perfect, and the trees were beautiful. The sky was exactly the way you wanted, as you marched down the sidewalk. Your favorite shoes skidded across the pavement gently, barely making a sound. You stumbled along, a cool wind blowing at your clothes.

You had left your apartment not long ago to find Adam Stanheight, your boyfriend. He lived across the block from you. Your apartment was in much better shape than his, but considering his current circumstances, the reasons were valid.

Tripping a little bit over your own feet, you came to Adam’s apartment. He had given you a spare key a while back, so you could easily get inside. The only things that disconcerted you were the other people already in the building. They gave you nasty, judgmental, looks. It seemed they didn’t like you being there. This was nothing new, Adam’s neighbors had made it evidently clear that you did not belong here. They hardly let you pass by them without making sharp remarks. Adam was the reason they stopped. Self-consciously, you walked by and up the stairs, to Adam’s room. It was silent all the way there.

When you creaked the door open you were unsatisfied to find the lights turned off, the windows shuttered and Adam’s coat missing from the coat hanger, as well as his shoes missing from their place by the door. You clicked the door closed behind you, and ventured inside hesitantly. “Adam?” Your voice echoed lonely around the entire room. You flicked on the lights.

They buzzed dully, but you didn’t mind. Adam’s camera wasn’t on the coffee table. His ashtray hadn’t been emptied yet today. The smoke scent was strong, but you tried not to think about it.

You checked, halfheartedly, in the bedroom and the bathroom, and - of course - Adam’s dark room. Apparently, he wasn’t home. Where was he?

You had been with Adam for at least three years. You both thought it was best to take things slow for a while, whilst he recovered mentally from Jigsaw’s game. You were proud of him. He had come a long way from where he was before, though sometimes he would still have panic attacks, as was understandable.

Lately though, the two of you had been thinking about moving in together. It was Adam’s idea actually, and you had been surprised when he brought it up. Of course you could understand that his apartment might not be the healthiest place for Adam to be, but it was the only place that had a dark room available. It seemed Adam was ready to leave the trauma of the past behind completely now and start new. You would love to support him through that.

He had asked you to come over today, to maybe help with packing but maybe not; he hadn’t been precise about that. You wandered around for a couple minutes longer, and then figured you had no reason being here, and left.

Standing on the staircase in the wind, you tried to call your boyfriend, but he didn’t pick up his phone. This alarmed you because usually he was quick to answer his calls, especially if it was you calling. You called your best friend. Maybe they would know?

“Hello?”

Yes! You got an answer!

“Hi.”

“Y/N! Oh, W-What do you need?”

You noticed how your friend had stammered.

What the hell?

“Uh…” You said thoughtfully. “I was looking for Adam. Have you seen him?”

“No.” The response was too instantaneous for your liking.

“You haven’t seen him? Do you know where he is?”

Silence on the other end, then, “No.”

“ ‘No’?” You repeated skeptically.

“No,” your bff confirmed.

You frowned. “Well, will you call him for me? He won’t pick up. I tried calling him just now, but I also tried at my apartment.”

“Why don’t you wait? He’ll be back before long. Or are you paranoid that he’s seeing someone else?” There was a suspicious silence and then your friend burst out laughing. “Relax, I’m joking.”

“I am relaxed,” you said matter-of-factly. “You don’t have to tell me that he wouldn’t cheat on me. I know that, you idiot.”

“Awe. Did you hear that? Yeah? I know.”

Your friend was having a conversation with someone else, but you couldn’t hear who it was. You couldn’t hear them at all. “Who are you with?”

“One of the other friends. Now we will have juicy gossip for the group.”

“Right,” you sighed irritably. “Where is Adam? I thought we were going to pack some things so he could move in with me?”

“I don’t know,” your best friend sounded genuine. “Listen, Y/N, I don't know where he went, and I would love to help you but I’m busy right now. I’m sorry. Maybe just wait for him to get back. He’ll answer you when he returns to the apartment.”

“Okay, well, should I start packing up his things, or not?”

“It’s up to you.”

“I’m at his apartment right now.”

“Sure. I mean, he would probably appreciate the help.”

“Really, you’re sure you don’t know where he is?”

Your best friend only said, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” And hung up.

You scowled at the floor in annoyance. That had been uneventful… There was definitely something up with them though. That was some seriously strange behavior.

You gathered up your things once again, and went back inside. This time the hall was empty, no passersby to see you. You were mildly grateful for that.

You started in the living room, examining certain things and contemplating what to do with them. For now, you were just gonna leave everything in its place because you didn’t know how Adam wanted to situate his any of if for moving. You would just consider solutions and strategies and then consult your boyfriend when he got home. Whenever that would be.

Sitting on the couch to get comfortable while you waited, you pushed open the windows. While you tolerated the smoke smell for Adam, this was obnoxious. Why were the windows closed when the scent was so strong? You pushed a window open just as your phone lit up with a message.

You lunged for it, hoping it was Adam. You were disappointed to find that it was just a scam text asking you to click the link to some sketchy porn site. You made a face in disgust. That kind of thing did not hold your interest… Unless of course you were performing with Adam...

You tossed the phone next to you onto the couch, and went back to opening up windows, though your thoughts were now preoccupied about what kind of THINGS you might get up to with Adam, since you were on the subject already…

Unfortunately, you thought reluctantly. Adam isn’t here for me to ‘perform’ anything with.

You spent about fifteen minutes sitting on the couch, trying to figure out packing arrangements. There were already some things put in boxes and sealed away, but mostly everything was piled everywhere. You did notice though, Adam’s camera resting carefully and securely on the breakfast table. It was evident that Adam took more care of his very expensive camera than the rest of his belongings. This did not surprise you.

Absently, you picked it up in your delicate hands, and turned it over a few times. Adam would be panicking if he was here; he got way too anxious if the camera wasn’t in his own hands. But… he was not here… Which - you should have admitted to yourself first, but were too preoccupied with your discovery - this fact did not give you permission to go snooping through his privacy.

Hesitantly, you turned it on. It came on immediately, which only made you realize even more how good this camera was. This was like, top-notch perfect. No wonder it had been so expensive. No wonder Adam took such good care of it. No wonder he preserved it like it was the last one in existence. This was a damn good camera.

It felt cool on your fingers, and the buttons worked perfectly. None of them were sticky, or oversensitive. Just one gentle tap was enough to get the desired reaction.

And not to mention the photos inside. Adam had a talent for photography, that much was already apparent, but these were like… nothing you’d ever seen. They were clear, and straight on. Sometimes they were from angles so that the sun crossed right over the lens.

There were pictures of people, mostly you and sometimes Adam, but there were mostly pictures of the scenery. This must not have been his work camera, though even that one was just as expensive as this one.

Your breath had been taken from you, as you set his camera back on the table. The photos he’d taken of you were… amazing… Well, all his photos were amazing, but you hadn’t thought that you could be highlighted in such an incredible way. You hadn't even looked through all of them because you did feel guilty about prying. Adam would show you when he was ready to show you, and that’s what you were looking forward to.

You went back to the couch and peered out the window. There was traffic on this tiny road? Bizarre. Usually this street was empty. Police lights flashed passed and then the traffic cleared.

Frowning, you considered a fact about today. Today so far had been really, really, strange… You hadn’t found your boyfriend, even after a long time of searching, your bff seemed to be hiding something, and the events of the day were just weird; like for example a police car driving down the quietest street in your town.

For the first time you felt a little off, like you had teleported through another dimension and no one even knew who you were. It was an alarming feeling. You didn’t like it.

You stretched your legs out on the coffee table, wondering if Adam would mind if you turned on the TV. It seemed a little inappropriate to just… be at his house while he wasn’t there, but you were really freaked out, and… watching something to get your mind off it seemed like the best course of action. Or maybe you should just go home? That was a smart idea, right now you were essentially trespassing!

But… Adam would be home any second now, you were sure of it. Just a little longer… Just a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone, and besides Adam wasn’t going to report his girlfriend for trespassing. He would understand.

Where is he? I haven’t seen him all day. I worry about him sometimes, does he know that?

After a moment’s hesitation, you took the TV remote into your hand. It was then that the door was pushed open wide, casting light into the dark room, and revealing a very tense Adam Faulkner Stanheight.

The remote slipped from your fingers dejectedly, hitting the floor with a quiet thud as you were no longer interested in it anymore. Running for your boyfriend, you called his name a couple times, apologizing for the unintended hangout at his place.

Adam smiled at you warmly, as he wrapped his arms around your waist and bent his head down to kiss you. You leaned into it willingly, moaning in surprise.

Adam pulled his head away again, and examined you. There was a gleam of adoration in his eyes. He shivered, and, without even looking away from you, said, “You opened the windows?”

You were flabbergasted. This man didn’t have to look to know you had opened them; he was so… amazing… “Yeah,” you whispered.

Adam raised a hand to your cheek, and held it for a moment, then brushed a strand of hair out of your face. His hand was warm and gentle. You pushed your head into his grasp. It was silent between you for a long time. Neither of you broke eye contact, or pulled away. This moment was perfect; exactly what you both needed.

“Adam?” You asked eventually.

Adam’s gaze flickered down your face for a moment, then back to your eyes. “Hmm?” He seemed so at peace, you didn’t want to bother him with the question.

“Where have you been?”

“ ‘Where have I been’?” Adam wondered aloud. “Well, let’s see…” He trailed off as your best friend walked into the room.

“I’mma watch the action’ah,” they popped their lips at the end.

You spun around to face them. “What are you doing? I thought you were with friends?”

“Adam’s my friend, isn’t he?”

You stared back at your bff, feeling slightly indignant, and jealous. “What the hell!?”

Your friend only nodded to Adam, a smile on their face. “Don’t jump to conclusions, baby.” There was sarcasm in their voice on the last word.

Flustered, you turned back around in a rush, not able to look at your friend anymore. You were sure it wasn’t what you thought it was, but why had they gone off to do something without you? Something wasn’t right about that.

You nearly fainted at what was in front of you.

On one knee, with his hands outstretched, was your boyfriend, looking rather smug with himself. A ring was placed in the middle of a tiny, black, box. “Will you marry me, F/N L/N?” He asked very bluntly.

Your heart seemed to stop beating. Your mind seemed to shut off. You were just… so stunned you were unemotional. All you could do was stare at Adam. “I-I-I-” You stopped talking at once.

The two others in the room were watching you intently, stiffly, apprehensively.

“I,” you found your voice finally. “Don't know what to say!”

Adam looked at you dumbly. “ ‘Yes’? ‘Yes’ would be preferable, please!”

And you realized that, in your current state of bliss, you had indeed forgotten to enlighten your boyfriend on your answer, which to yourself had been obvious - of course! You would spend everything to marry Adam! That’s what love was, right?

“Yes!” You exclaimed guiltily. “I’m so sorry, I was so shocked, you know? ‘Cause I wasn’t even thinking about the question, I was just thinking about the state of affairs, I can’t believe that this is happening right now, you know, I didn’t mean to leave you -” You said in a single breath. You were so busy you didn’t even notice when Adam stood up. In one fell swoop, Adam’s lips were back on yours, silencing you abruptly. You melted into his embrace, bringing your arms up around his neck, pushing into him, giving him all of yourself.

Your heart fluttered, your cheeks were hot, and your lips were tingling. Inside you felt a thousand things at once, but all of them were stemmed by one thing - joy. Adam pulled you closer to him, if that was even possible; you both were already practically standing on top of each other's feet. A couple of gasps and sighs were released but it was nothing that forced you to stop the make-out session. In fact, it only encouraged it more.

Somewhere behind you both, your friend arranged themself on the couch, tucking their feet under their butt, and staring, eyes wide, at the scene in front of them. If there was popcorn, they’d definitely be eating right now.

Adam let his hands trail your body, and you allowed him to feel you. He stopped kissing you to whisper in your ear, “I love you. I’m sorry I ditched you earlier, but… I do love you.”

“(bff’s name) was with you, buying the ring?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t want to get it wrong.”

“You wouldn’t have,” you whispered back, burying your face into his shoulder. “All that would matter was that you got me something beautiful. All gems are gorgeous, I think. Especially if they’re on a ring.”

Adam hadn’t gotten you something large, but you appreciated that, you had room to move your fingers. But it was still a very pretty color. Your favorite gemstone was in the middle, and the ring part was embedded with your birthstone. You couldn’t believe how pretty it looked altogether. “Adam,” you murmured desperately. Adam brushed his fingers through your hair. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without you, Y/N.”

“Don’t say that.”

“No,” Adam insisted. “You convinced me to keep up the photography. You convinced me to get therapy. You convinced me to… try to stop smoking…”

You laughed. “Yeah. The last one has yet to work. I don’t think I did very much convincing.”

“You convinced me to propose,” Adam admitted attentively.

You pulled back, smiling in amusement. “How so?”

“Well, last night, after -” he seemed to remember that there were more than TWO people in the room with you and started again. “What you said last night got me thinking about how much I love you.”

“Adam.” You shook your head dishearteningly. You hadn’t meant to pressure him. “I said ‘we have a unique relationship, I wonder where it will take us,’ not ‘I want you to propose to me tomorrow.’

“I do want this, though,” Adam continued hastily. “I was just nervous before. But what you said last night convinced me that I was ready to take things to a different level with you.”

“Well I’m glad you asked, because I want this, too. And the answer would have always been ‘yes’. And I’m glad that you want this. That’s what’s important.”

“It’s also important what you want,” Adam chimed in.

But I’M not the one with the trauma, you thought to yourself. You wouldn’t bring THAT up right now, but that was the reason why your relationship was moving slowly. You chuckled under your breath. Adam was way too wholesome for you.

“What?” Adam asked. “What did I say?”

You grit your teeth. “Nothing,” you told him firmly. “I’m just happy that you're happy.”

Adam smiled at you, then looked up at the third wheeler on the couch, who was leaning over their legs in utter astonishment. “Was that good?” He questioned.

“That was wonderful,” your friend exclaimed.

“Adam needed a pep talk? Really?”

“No, Adam needed confidence,” your bff retorted, then stretched and stood up lazily. “I think I’ll be leaving now. I don’t think I’m of any service here anymore.”

The couple didn’t object to the previously stated statement, in fact they were in full agreement. You watched your friend exit the apartment, and then close the door behind them. “So did you get any packing done?” Adam wondered hopefully. “You said you were going to.”

“I did some planning. But I wanted to confirm it with you first,” you confessed.

“Oh.” Adam shrugged. “I have no idea how to start! Anything works!”

“Nice!” You said, all your ideas coming to the front of your mind. “Let’s do it tomorrow, yeah? I’m tired. You know I was up late LAST NIGHT.”

Adam scoffed. “Baby, how could I forget LAST NIGHT?”

You walked into the bedroom, with Adam following closely - too closely. You got the sense that tonight and last night were going to be pretty similar. There was one key difference though. Could you guess it?

Of course.

You weren’t going to sleep next to your boyfriend anymore, you were going to sleep next to your fiance.

Now what did you think about that?

August - Adam Stanheight X Reader

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was sitting on the couch, waiting for his significant other - that would be you - to come home. You had left to grab (your favorite dessert). It wasn’t a particularly special occasion, but you both had wanted something to sweeten up your lives a little bit. Adam smoked somberly, shaping his shallow thoughts into something much more understandable. But it was all for naught, seeing as he was still in the same place of emotion that he was in when he started this expedition.

Lazily, and listlessly, Adam rearranged himself on the couch. He knew you would be disapproving when you saw that the windows were closed, but he couldn’t bring himself to open them. He was way too tired for that. All he wanted to do was lay down. He tried to keep his eyes open, but eventually found himself falling asleep while also nearly choking to death on cigarette smoke.

He coughed and sputtered until his throat was sore, and then he twisted out his cigarette. That was enough today, but he was still left with an empty feeling; his satisfaction just wasn’t quite fulfilled, and he was tempted to take another one from the box. He used what self-control he had left, and managed not to. He told himself you would be very proud of him for that.

Adam had gotten up to fix himself some tea. He barely stood up when a wave of nausea consumed him. He sank back down onto the couch miserably. He didn’t feel great at all today. Maybe that was because he hadn’t eaten yet? It was one’o’clock and he woke up at ten. Why hadn’t he had breakfast yet? Oh that’s because he got in a conversation with you and then hadn’t wanted to leave. That was reasonable, right?

Adam got to his feet clumsily, and stumbled into the kitchen, where he tried to put together a sandwich. It worked, he guessed, and he sat down to eat his breakfast slash lunch.

What would that be called? He wondered. Brunch? It was getting hot in the apartment by the time he’d finished eating. The weather was hot outside during this august afternoon. Adam felt stable again, now that he’d eaten, but something was still off. He missed his partner, F/N L/N.

He popped open the windows to let out the smoke that was building inside.

Adam reluctantly started doing some tidying. His living quarters were always messy, and it irritated the hell out of you. He decided now would be a good time to clean it up.

But as he started to pick things up from the floor, the apartment door swung gently open. Adam let his belongings fall onto the coffee table once again, as he leapt up to greet you.

When he saw you his heart fluttered. Excitement and happiness rushed through him. He found new energy to be with you! “Y/N!” He exclaimed.

You came tripping into the room, carrying in your arms a large (favorite dessert.) Adam had never been so glad to see someone in his whole life. You plopped the dessert onto the counter, and twirled happily ‘round.

Adam watched you in satisfaction, his heart melting. He pulled you into a hug, pushing you right up against his chest, and allowing you to rest your head on his shoulders. He felt you giggle and it warmed him on the inside.

You beamed up at him, your eyes glowing in jubilation. “You missed me?”

Adam sighed. “You have no idea.”

You nuzzled Adam’s nose sweetly. “Want to try the dessert?”

Adam would have loved to, but you felt so good in his arms he hardly wanted to release you. “Sure.”

You detangled yourself from his grasp, and went over to the counter, getting ready to cut your dessert into slices.

Adam watched from afar, examining his significant other as they bent slightly over the counter. You had your butt your pointed out towards him and Adam took pleasure in studying it. You looked cute standing in that position. “Nice.” He told you frankly.

You were too intent on your task to even notice Adam’s comment. You simply straightened your back and glanced at him, a smile on your face. “Go grab some plates!”

Adam did as he was told, and then came up behind you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and put two plates on the counter.

You shuffled closer to him, and Adam felt content to have you so close. You placed one slice of said dessert onto each of the plates, and then you started eating.

Adam had never tried this kind of dessert before he met you. But now it was a tradition to eat it together. He loved that.

The flavor was sweet and sugary, of course it was. It was your favorite dessert and that’s why Adam loved it, because it made him think of you.

You ate together in a peaceful silence until your plates were clean. Neither of you had even gone to the table to eat.

Adam rubbed your back with one hand. It was impossible to explain what he felt for you. He loved you so much, nothing would be able to express it. ‘I love you’ at this point was an understatement. But how else did one express their love to their significant other? Without words there would be no communication. This was the only way to tell you what he felt. He loved you, and that’s all there was. Love.

He turned you towards him, so that you were pressed against his chest once more. He put his chin on the top of your head. “I love you.”

A rush of adrenaline swarmed up you. You laced your hands with Adam. “No, I love YOU.”

Adam melted into you. You were so perfect! “Not nearly as much as I love you,” he murmured.

“You’re right,” you gave in disappointedly, but then shot back, “I love you MORE than that.”

You and Adam spun around the living room several times, and then you put on some classical music: slow and romantic, just right for the mood.

You both swayed to the rhythm, not really intending to be lazy, but not trying to be too energetic either.

Adam could feel your head on his shoulder, your hand in his hand, and an arm around his waist. Your body touching him was breathtaking. Adam was sure he would lose his mind from the close proximity.

“You’ve been smoking,” you uttered into the quietness. You were only concerned.

Adam stiffened. Would you care about that? “I’m sorry-” He started to say.

You interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry, Adam. You’re always sorry. Not everything’s your fault. What happened?”

“I got anxious about you,” Adam halfheartedly confessed.

You patted his head reassuringly. “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

“But I did.”

You kissed him on the cheek. “Alright then. It’s okay. How was the smoke?”

“Bad,” Adam grumbled. “I nearly died from it instead of trying to enjoy it.”

You smirked. “I’m glad you didn’t though. You know what would happen if you did?”

“No.”

You bent your eyebrows down and pouted your lower lip sadly. “I WOULD BE SAD!” You wailed.

Adam felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh no…” he mustered. “I don’t want that.”

“Nor do I,” you answered smartly. “But lucky for you, you don’t have to try very hard. You being around is all I need!”

Adam bit his bottom lip shyly. He could feel your words brush up his neck. Your words were just so warming and good to hear, he couldn’t get enough. He kissed you at that moment, lifting you off the floor and bringing you up to sit on his hips. You put your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck.

Adam loved every moment of it. He loved feeling your skin on his skin, your mouth on his mouth, your body against his body, and your heat keeping him warm.

His heart was pounding, his stomach was churning, and adrenaline was pulsing through his veins. He broke away to give you some kisses down your jaws; they were quick and short.

You hummed out in satisfaction, and tilted your head back. Adam took advantage of this, and started kissing down your neck. He made sure to get your shoulders and collarbones.

“Adam…” you whispered at last, cupping his cheeks in your hands and lifting his head up. He looked at you like a lost puppy and it melted your heart. “You sweet thing.”

Adam let you down and you sighed out happily. “You’re cute,” Adam said cheesily.

You shrugged. “How else would you want me?”

“Laying on the bed would be a nice alternative, too,” Adam replied cleverly.

You gagged and looked away embarrassedly. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” Adam assured you.

Adam sat down on the couch, and you sat next to him. You pulled him onto your lap, and started a long, enticing, snuggle session, where both of you spent the rest of the evening flirting, teasing, kissing, and of course expressing love to one another only in ways that words could never communicate.

Love Me - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N So, another song-inspired fanfic, lol, someone help.

We Found Love - by Rihanna.

Yellow, orange, and purple black light, laser-beams fanned the entire room, making the crowd scream in excitement. The walls had some kind of glow in the dark paint or wallpaper on them - you couldn't tell which - but sure enough they were glowing pink and blue, and yellow diamonds flashed wildly across the ceiling and floor. People surrounded you on all sides, noise blasted you from every direction, smoke filled your nose, alcohol stung your throat and caused you nausea, your eyes were wet, your jeans were sticky, and your palms and forehead were sweaty. You stared into the dark, spacious, room drunkenly. The moon cast its light directly behind you, casting your shadow onto the dark floor. You watched as a second shadow - taller, thinner - moved across yours. Your companion came up beside you casually, his walking clumsy; he'd been drinking. You laced your fingers in with your companion's. He tightened his grip on your hand. Outside, it was raining, and the wind howled and gave you chills, you pressed yourself closer to him; he had his arm around your waist. Your head hurt from all the alcohol you'd been pounding earlier.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you both huddled next to each other, shielding one another from the pouring rain. The heat wafting from inside reached you and helped to keep you warm. Your emotions were so laid back at the moment that you felt very underwhelmed, though at the same time, everything pulsed through you. You could barely form a single coherent thought. Was it the alcohol or was it HIS presence causing the blockage? You wanted to say something, but no words could be found; your mind was just blank. You allowed yourself to relax into your partner's caress. You were too nervous to be worried, all you wanted was to enjoy this. If only you didn't feel like you were walking on a tight rope above broken shards of glass; fragile, exposed. You clutched him closer and felt relief at the action; you waited to do this your whole life - or what seemed like it. Letting out a heavy sigh, you decided to come to terms with these feelings. There was no denying this.

You were head-over-heels for Adam Faulkner Stanheight.

Adam let out a long breath before leaning away. He stared into the sky and let the rain fall on his face. It was silent between you, but you didn't mind. Your voice would surely break from all the shrieking earlier. But the quietness was welcome; you liked it, wanted it. Eventually, you spot someone exiting. They looked familiar, an ex perhaps? As they approached, they greeted you wholeheartedly. "Y/N." The newcomer didn't even cast one look at Adam. "What are you doing all by yourself? I thought you weren't one for partying."

You glanced at Adam and shrugged happily. You'd attend anything if you were with him, even if it meant breaking the law. Still you didn't speak.

"Come on. Don't leave me all alone here." They stretched their arm out to you invitingly, and started to tread back into the building. "Join me. Don't spend it sadly looking in."

You turned your head away. "I don't need you," you found your voice. "I have-" You stopped yourself, suddenly aware of Adam watching you closely. There was a knowing, amused, glint in his eyes. You could feel your emotions spike dramatically with just one look from him. Your heart melted, and started to beat faster, harder, louder; you could almost feel it in your chest, hear it in your ears. A sliver of slithering adrenaline scalded you on the inside stirring up your stomach even more. You made eye contact with Faulkner, and held it for a long time. It was the best moment ever.

You couldn't stop yourself from drawing nearer, despite already being too close. You could feel heat rising in your cheeks, or was it the hot temperature coming from inside? It was definitely not the coolness from outside! Either way, the intoxicant was beginning to hit you hard now. You were losing control of yourself and your actions; being so close to Adam was probably not a good thing. You leaned in hesitantly, grabbing Adam's cheeks gently between your two hands and turning his head towards you. In an unconsciousness, you pulled Adam in. Your lips quivered, but not out of nervousness just out of bravery. It was like watching yourself from third view. Your body was moving for you, your mind was simply following along.

In a matter of seconds his thin, soft, lips, were on yours. They were tentative and unsure, but you kissed strongly, confidently; like you had nothing to lose. You found yourself pinning Adam up against the wall, shoving your hands in his hair and pulling his head back a little bit. As Adam wrapped his arms around your neck, you pressed closer. Now you could feel Adam's heartbeat against your chest. It was moving fast. So was yours.

Emotions weren't even thrilling through you anymore. All you could keep track of were your thoughts, which were spiraling wildly into chaos; pretty soon you wouldn't even have those to restrict yourself.

Love me, you thought. Love me, please. I need you.

Adam pulled away. "That won't be hard."

Panic pulsed through you immensely, realizing that you had spoken out loud. You blushed deeply and backed away, feeling super insecure suddenly. Adam pulled you back. "Where are you going?" Adam wondered.

You started kissing him again, unable to believe your situation. Holy hell, were you making out with Adam!? Your long-time friend? Maybe you were more than friends now? Maybe. Maybe.

If only you had the confidence to ask...

You pulled back as the laser beams started fanning the room again. You gazed at them tiredly, and let yourself rest your head on Adam's shoulder. Adam held you there and watched then lights flash with you. The yellow diamonds presented themselves once more. They spun, dove, and crashed into things right in front of your eyes, making you dizzy - or was it the alcohol? You sighed out happily, humming along to the song on the radio.

"I think I really like you," Adam mumbled.

"I think I love you," you responded almost instantaneously. You were far too gone now to care about your word choices. But it didn't matter, Adam was as well.

Adam's voice was so quiet you had to strain to hear him, but his words made you feel warm and fuzzy. You clutched his hand desperately. "Me too," he said seriously.

You leaned into him slowly, cautiously, and warily you began another make-out session. You were excited. It would be different this time knowing now that you both felt the same way. The beat started up, the lights flashed, and the diamonds spun crazily, but you couldn't care less about any of it. In fact, neither of you should even be here right now, seeing as you weren't even partying anymore. The alcohol was taking over your mind completely now, and you careened into Adam. The rush was overwhelming! You gasped then dove in; promptly, resolutely, with a strong amount of passion, you kissed Adam again. And this time, it was definitely more than just a kiss.

A/N I apologize for the mistakes in the last one. This one will be done more carefully. I wrote this one on my phone, btw, so the layout is different. Anyway, enjoy.

The orange tabby cat purred loudly on the couch. He weighed about seventeen pounds, but despite anybody’s best efforts, he just wouldn’t lose it. Most of the time he lazed around, much like his human owners, but his favorite task to do was eat.

You never realized how fat your cat was until he would jump up on your lap. His heaviness pressed you to the couch and kept you there, and often times the pressure would start to hurt your thighs. But you loved him all the same, and really, you didn’t mind the pain you had to endure just in order for your cat to lay on your lap.

Today was no different. You had, just like yesterday, sat upon the couch with the cat. It was three fifteen in the afternoon. Adam Stanheight would be home soon. He went out to a client’s house to help them with taking photographs.

You waited for him everyday at this time. He didn’t always have to go out to work, but this week he’d been extra busy. And as of recently, he hardly had time to produce the photos that he was taking. But nevertheless you would still happily wait for him.

It had been nearly three years since the incident had occurred, but Adam was struggling along fairly well. The only reason he was taking therapy was because you had convinced him to, though he would have much preferred to manage on his own. A year had shown you that Adam was not really good at supporting himself yet; the therapy was definitely needed. And it was certainly helping him drastically, no matter what Adam told you.

Papaya purred proudly as he playfully batted at the strings hanging off your jacket. You didn’t try to stop him, even though you didn’t want him to pull your jacket apart either. Mostly, you didn’t want to make him leave, you were enjoying his company.

Your loneliness was eating you up. Because of your boyfriend’s absence as of late, you hadn’t gotten much time to talk with him. Your short intervals together were precious and very important to you, but it didn’t feel like enough. You missed the time you used to spend together. However, you were glad to see Adam working again as well, as it was a sign of his recovery.

Then, to your disappointment, the cat stretched and padded off your lap. He leapt onto the coffee table and began to bathe. The empty space on your lap left your legs cold.

“Awe, Papaya,” you complained out loud. “I just need some sort of social interaction and comfort. Don’t leave me!”

Papaya jumped off the table and nonchalantly strode up to the front door. He meowed loudly as the door opened up. Adam was behind it, holding his camera in his hands and clutching a grocery bag to his chest.

You hopped up and ran to help. You didn’t need to worry about Papaya because he was a fraidy cat and would stay inside.

Taking the bag from Adam, you greeted him cheerfully and asked him about his day. You were happy to finally have some human company again. All day had been pretty quiet and lonesome.

Adam could see the exhaustion on your face. In one swoop he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in close. His camera had been placed on the counter right next to the door, where you had dropped the grocery bag.

He kept his eyes fixed solely on yours.

Adam loved those deep, adoring, eyes.

The ones that were always there for him.

The ones that never hurt him or neglected him.

The ones that hadn’t betrayed him.

The ones he could trust.

In a single rapid breath he told you about everything. Never once did he stop to breathe. His words were rushed and slurred together, but you could understand them. You listened willingly. Adam’s enthusiasm gave you energy. You craved that.

Lived off it.

He started briskly, with eagerness in his voice, “I had the best day!”

You couldn’t believe how happy he looked right now. It warmed you up inside.

“It was… different, (Y/N). I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun before… I mean before the incident. I forgot what it was like, you know? To actually enjoy doing what I’m doing.” He gasped. “I feel…” he seemed embarrassed to have to admit it. “I feel good.”

“Yeah,” you whispered. Leaning back, you smiled in amusement. You had been working at your job for five years. You loved the way it made you feel, so you could understand what he was feeling. But seeing the way your boyfriend’s face lit up when talking about it, made your heart happy.

Adam lifted you off the ground with both arms and nuzzled his nose against yours. You kicked your feet back and forth with force. He sighed. “I’m so tired now.”

You tried to get down, but Adam wouldn’t allow it. “Why don’t we sit down then?” You questioned.

“Uh…” he considered your words halfheartedly. “I’d prefer to stay here.”

“Then why are you c-“

Adam didn’t let you finish. He promptly kissed you on the mouth, excusing any kind of relations to the previous conversation.

You groaned in surprise, but Adam didn’t want you to leave. He gently set you down on the counter top and proceeded to aggressively make out with you.

Your cat was completely forgotten about by now. In fact, Papaya had meandered somewhere back into the bedroom to take a nap. Apparently, his job now was done. He’d stayed with Y/N all evening so that you wouldn’t get lonely, and once the other human had arrived home he had helpfully announced Adam’s presence. Now it was time for a long nap. Besides, the things that were going down in the kitchen were a bit unpleasant for a cat. And he wanted NOTHING to do with THAT.

You laced your fingers with Adam’s encouragingly, which only tempted him more. With his other hand he stroked your cheek and tilted your head back.

Heart beating excitedly and stomach swimming nervously, you could sense the passion. Heat was pulsing from your cheeks, and longing crisped your lips. You kissed him harder, and tightened your hand on his.

Adam pushed you onto the counter so that you were on your back. You gasped as he pinned your hands to the counter surface.

You smiled timidly up at Adam. “Well, well. What inspired the dominance?”

Adam’s eyes flashed down your body, and then came back up to yours. You felt your body tingle all over while he examined you closely.

“A-Adam…” You whispered.

Adam leaned his head down to your ear. “I love you,” he purred.

You relaxed against the counter, as he started to kiss you again. You had no idea what had gotten him so hyped, but you were all for it.

Your boyfriend backed away after a long time to look at you. “I’d get comfortable.” His voice was soft and flirty. It excited you.

The moment was heated now. You were expecting things to escalate, but you would be just fine if they didn’t. Either way, you eagerly awaited the upcoming events. You pulled him back down, and kissed his cheek. Swiftly, you answered him back with a snarky remark. Your tone held all of your wittiness. “Good luck, baby. We’ll see how long you can dominate.”

Figmentary Feelings - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N Another one of Melanie Martinez’s songs, called Haunted, inspired this. Omg, I think I need help with this addiction.

Spirals spun in the walls, the air smelled smokey, the atmosphere was crisp, and the scenery was foggy. You sat in Adam’s apartment dazedly, not fully awake, and tried to solve the crossword puzzle that was displayed on your phone. You had found three words.

It had been a month since you had gotten proper sleep. Tiredness tugged at your eyes, but you kept them open. You didn’t want to sleep, but you were lucky; you couldn’t sleep - not anymore.

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was supposed to come home four weeks ago. The newspapers had announced him dead two weeks ago, but you didn’t want to believe it. Adam’s belongings were still situated in their proper places, it was as if he was still here. There couldn’t have been a way that he wasn’t ALIVE anymore. You refused to believe it.

But alas, four weeks was a long time. Adam still hadn’t come home, something that occurs when a person dies, the evidence couldn’t have been more clear.

You ignored the bright lights flashing in your eyes, or the ringing in your ears, and focused on finding the next word. It was ‘lightbulb,’ and you discovered this after about twenty failed attempts.

You put the phone in your pocket. You had a visitor coming over today. You didn’t know who it was, the landlady only said you had someone coming over. You wondered why the said ‘visitor’ hadn’t given you a heads up on their supposed arrival.

You got to your feet numbly. Immediately you spotted the black couch in the living room, and your heart sank low. You could remember when you would watch horror movies with Adam on Friday nights. You could remember when you would come home and find Adam smoking a cigarette after a shitty day ATTEMPTING to take good pictures of his clients but his camera’s lens had been dusty or misty, making it difficult. This was a common case.

There were also the moments when you would find yourselves laughing and joking with one another on the couch. Sometimes it would lead to tickling, other times it would lead to making-out. The mood decided it.

You turned harshly, hearing Adam’s voice in your ears. You flinched, but you could hear his words so clearly, so… real. You groaned in agony. “I love you.” But your words were met with silence.

You turned around and made for the kitchen, but this was also a bad idea. Adam’s presence was here, too. You could sense him standing by the oven, leaning on it with his back, and gazing at you while you tied an apron around your waist and walked over. There were many times when you would bake together. Adam had never liked cooking or baking but he seemed to have fun when he was with you.

Usually you made pies or cakes, but sometimes you would make dinner together. Those were the best nights. It was always inspired by the thought that you would play a game together. You had plenty of cards and boards in the gaming cabinet, it was more thrilling to cook dinner together first though. It helped to ripen the mood.

Right now you swore you could almost smell a baking pumpkin pie, but you knew that couldn’t be true. The oven was off, and you hadn’t gone to the store in at least two weeks.

You left the kitchen then, hurriedly, and headed for the bedroom. It was dark, and though most of your time spent here was sleeping, you still got a lot of memories. Memories you would have preferred to have left untouched. This was not because they were bad memories. In fact every memory you had with Adam was beautiful, even the bad ones, but that only spelled out the problem. You didn’t want to remember them because they were good, way too fucking good. And you couldn’t stand that.

The first thing that came to your mind was the time when you got locked out of the bedroom. The lights were off, and all you had was the sunlight shining in from the living room window. It was bright enough, but now that you thought of it, why hadn’t you turned on the lights? In the end, you ended up having to take the door off its hinges because you couldn’t find the key. But because neither of you could reach the last hinge on the top, you had to stand on Adam’s shoulders and use the screwdriver to undo it. You had felt really unsteady in that moment. The noise the door made when it fell to the floor was so loud, it was memorable. You shuttered.

You stumbled forward a little as a barrage of more images went through your mind. They were different from the last one. All of them were of Adam sitting patiently for you on the bed. Either he was sitting or laying but in some way or another there was something quite risque about his positioning. You grit your teeth hard, trying not to feel…

Well that was just it. You didn’t want to feel. You were trying not to. The statement was fine as it was, but… what you had been thinking was more like: ‘I don’t want to feel sad anymore.’

Both sentences were true.

Those weren’t the only things you recalled. You could still see Adam by the dresser as he picked out a dress for you to wear. And you could see him reaching for his camera on the bedside table.

He was staying up all night with you when you couldn’t sleep.

He was holding you tightly as you cried into his shoulder in the dark.

He was stroking your hair after a long, late, night.

He was pushing you to the mattress very dominantly - it wouldn’t have lasted very long though.

He was kissing you.

He was caressing you.

He was making you feel something, you know the kind.

And he was touching you, feeling you.

Your eyes stretched wide at the recollections. You backed away tensely, not even glancing at the master bathroom, and slammed the door closed. You were cursed to feel Adam’s hands and mouth on your body. Desperately, but failingly, you tried to ignore it.

You ran out the door, but it felt wrong. It was like Adam was still inside calling you to come back. And you clasped your hands together tightly. What the hell were you still doing here? You should have left long ago, like your therapist had told you.

You began to make moving plans. Hopefully you would be out of here by next week.

I’m sorry, Adam. I’m leaving you here. But just know that I will always love you. I would never stop. I just… need to get away from here, you thought miserably. It was about time you moved out anyway.

You got into the car and started driving. All you needed was some fresh air, and a long drive with the windows down. This was your escape.

When Adam had been with you he had always insisted on driving. But you hadn’t seen his car since he went missing. You only had yours now.

You connected your phone to the blue-tooth speaker. Your car speakers had died a long time ago, so you had bought a blue-tooth speaker. It worked well enough but it wasn’t like the car speakers, unfortunately.

You shuffled the playlist, and let it play. You didn’t have the energy to care about listening to your favorite songs first; whatever song played, played.

This was one of those times. The first song that played was a song you had forgotten about. It was Melanie Martinez’s song, “Haunted,” and you listened to it intently. Your heartbeat started hammering anxiously once you heard the lyrics again. It made you feel cold on the inside, and a little bit daunted by the real world. You wanted to crawl into your bed and feel nothing ever again.

This song was depressing! You realized it morbidly as the lyrics started.

“I could pull the sheets over my head and never get out of this bed. But what would that do?”

You rounded a corner quickly, but not too sharply.

“I avoid all mirrors ‘cause I’m scared to look into my eyes when I only see you.”

You inhaled painfully.

“It’s like you're always creeping on the walls and in my feelings. All those stories about ghosts are really true.”

You slammed on the brakes suddenly as the light changed red. You didn’t know where you were going.

“I put one foot in front of the other, in front of the other.”

You gazed around. There were people walking with their families on the sidewalks, there were cars with people laughing in them, there were stores with happy customers, there were children waiting at the bus stop together. But your life seemed so excruciatingly low right now, you didn’t even know how to comprehend it.

“Slowly, I turn every corner, turn every corner. Even when you’re nowhere in the room, I’m haunted by you.”

You tried not to relate, but the deeper meaning was too pressuring.

“I light all my candles, light all my candles. The darkness is too hard to handle, too hard to handle.”

You were losing your mind, listening to this. What the fuck, this song hit way too close to home, you needed out of here.

“Sleeping is just something I can’t do. I’m haunted by you.”

You were crying by the time the light turned green.

“I can hear your talking in the distance, your persistence is so cruel. And all your words pull at my feet and I fall back in love with you.”

Your hands trembling, you crashed them against the dashboard, thrashing and searching for the volume. You found it and twisted it violently to the right. The music got louder, and you screamed in shock. You could feel Adam’s arms around you still as you tried to breathe. Honking erupted from behind you, and other drivers started going around. You fumbled with the volume again, after your shock had worn away, and turned it off completely. That was enough for today. Now it was time to go home, and try to get some sleep.

You made a U-Turn at the intersection, and drove home in the silence. Your heart was the only sound you could hear, or even concentrate on. It was so loud you thought everyone could hear it.

Once safely inside the apartment, you grabbed a blanket, and a hot cider, and laid down on the couch. You had made it about a quarter of the way through your cider when you rested your head on the pillow. It was soft and squishy, and perfect. The spirals in your vision disappeared finally, and the atmosphere warmed up. Your mind was getting the sleep it needed at last.

Hopefully in the morning you’d be able to round the corner to the bathroom without getting lost in memory lane. That was something you had yet to accomplish, but right now you had achieved sleeping. Your therapist would be thrilled.