Don't Let Me Go - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Don't Let Me Go - Adam Stanheight / Reader

This one is inspired by Selena Gomez's song, Slow Down.

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In a blaze of neon laser-lights and dazzling sparkles you found yourself in a loud, crowded, nightclub. The beat of the music above blended into the walls and floor. Your eyes followed all the shining, glittering, flashing lights that pounced across the dance floor. Your mouth felt dry and your mind felt fuzzy, your chest was tight and your eyes were stinging. Something about this made you excited. You waded through the sweaty river of people. You deliberately passed the bar; you’d come by yourself and needed a clear head to drive. 

You maneuvered around the place slowly, taking in the scenery, the scents, and the activity. In all four of the corners  were two or more young drug addicts shooting up or vaping. Noises were coming from the closets; either loud thudding or desperate moaning - of the two you didn’t know which was better. It smelled like canned beer, and burnt cigarettes. 

You scanned the crowd for someone as you went. You didn’t know who you were looking for, just anyone at this point. You were single, but it had been a long time since your last relationship - three years perhaps? You wanted to try again, but you didn’t know how. Maybe trying a nightclub wasn’t the way to go? There WERE a lot of people here, though… so that was good. Maybe you’d find someone after all?

You spotted a young man leaning against one of the walls, his head back, hands in his pockets, and a cigarette propped up in his mouth. He seemed to be enjoying the solitude, however you wondered if he’d be bothered by you, if you approached. You couldn’t help noticing the way his white shirt hung on his body. Maybe you’d just found a target of interest?

You approached him nervously, keeping your eyes on the floor. “Hello, sir?” You asked quietly. “You look lovely tonight. Are you with anyone?”

He opened his eyelids slightly, to look down at you from an angle. “Who’s asking?”

You shifted your feet, and looked at him. “I am.”

The man straightened his back and looked at you properly. You felt his eyes scan up and down your sides. “Oh…” he breathed. “No, I’m here by myself.”

You raised your eyebrows and gazed up at him. “Really?”

“Really. Now what’s this about? Obviously you didn’t walk up to introduce yourself.”

You stretched your hand out to him. “F/N L/N!” You stated promptly. “But no, you’re right. There was more than that. I was looking for a friend tonight, and you seemed nice.”

The young man smiled back at you. “I’d be damned if I was anything but. Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Adam.” He adjusted his shirt with a quick jerk of his wrist. “Adam Stanheight. Faulkner Stanheight, if you want to get fancy.” He leaned down so that his face was inches away from yours. 

You smiled shyly. “Mind if I keep you company this late night?”

“How can I turn down such a pretty person? Please, I’d love you to.”

You chuckled nervously and leaned up against the wall. It was a little quieter over here despite being surrounded by blasting music. You were content. “So, what’s a handsome fella like you, doing at a nightclub all by himself?”

Adam smirked around his cigarette. “Enjoying a good ol’ smoke. That’s why I’m here.”

“Oh, really? It’s a passtime to smoke in nightclubs?” You asked sarcastically.

“Maybe find a nice chick… or fella…” He turned to face you again. “Especially ones with a little sense of humor.” He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. 

You giggled self-consciously. “Oh… why thank you…”

“Now you answer. Why are YOU all by yourself?”

You sighed, and looked past Adam out the window. It was dark out there, not even a street lamp was on. You couldn’t see anything except for the navy blue, pitch black, sky. It looked dismal. Earnestly, you told him the truth. “I don’t know. I guess I thought it was a good time to try again. I haven’t… been like this for three years.”

Adam pushed himself closer to you, seemingly intrigued by your story. He put out his cigarette and tossed it into the nearest ashtray, all while keeping his eyes fixed on you. “So, you chose to have a conversation with me?”

“Uh…” you shrugged. “Yeah. I’m not looking for anything right now, only a friend. I was planning to just… let the friendship evolve and see where it takes me.”

 Adam moved even closer. You could feel his warm breath on your lips. “I would be honored to help you rediscover what love is like…” 

You felt chills run up your spine, and you gazed into this man’s brown eyes. “You… You’re really that fond of me?”

“I can’t help it.” He grinned at you. “I’m sucked in by your charm.”

Your face went bright red. You felt hot suddenly. Having such a cute man tell you that you looked good made you feel confident, but also made you feel awkward. You laughed nervously. 

Adam tousled your hair. “I like your voice,” he said seriously. 

You kept your eyes on the floor. “Thanks…”

Adam stepped closer to you. It amazed you that neither of you were physically touching at this point. He brushed his fingers through your hair with one hand and with the other he cupped your cheek. He came even closer. 

Now you were touching. His chest was slightly pressing on yours and your legs were starting to get tangled together. You looked up. His eyes were right there! Everything was so close to you, it made you dizzy. 

“Woah… hi…” you whispered. 

“Hi…” Adam whispered back. 

You stayed like that for several minutes. Adam slowly kept getting closer and closer to you until finally he had you in an embrace so loving and affectionate that you couldn’t believe you were you. You felt like someone else, then you realized this was happening. You snuggled closer to him, your head on his chest, his arms around your body, and his right leg holding you up. You were warm, and happy. This  was the best time of your life. You closed your eyes.

In the blissful moment of relaxation you were taken aback by the sudden pressure being added to your fragile lips. It was a slow and gentle brushing on your mouth. You moaned out loud in surprise and leaned away from Adam, thus breaking apart from his kiss. 

Gazing up at the man in awe, you realized how close you were standing to him. Your head got foggy and your hands got sweaty. You turned away from him. Adam seemed to realize his mistake. “Was… that too soon? I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

But you were perfectly fine. You couldn’t even believe what had just happened. “It was wonderful!” You exclaimed. 

“You looked so… pure… I couldn’t resist.”

You nodded in understanding, and turned back to Adam. Confidence was rising inside you steadily and you kissed him again, swifty, lustfully. Adam took his hands in yours and leaned even closer - if that was even possible. You sighed into his mouth a couple of times out of desperation. “I haven’t felt another’s lips in so long.”

“I’m glad I could be the one to fix that,” Adam whispered in your ear seductively.

You shivered at his words. “Thank you. You’re really good at it.”

“Is there anything ELSE I could help you with?” He gave you a wink. 

You shook your head. “N-Not yet…”

“I can change that, if you’d like?”

“Oh…” You blushed. “No thank you. Not yet, at least.”

“Sure,” Adam leaned back against the wall, his arms over his chest once again. “You’re really too pretty to be all alone like this,” he said. 

“I’d say the same about you,” you replied cheesily. 

Adam stepped away from the wall, and held his hand out to you. “Care to dance, Y/N? It’s been kind of a quiet night. Why not add some cream to our coffee, yeah?”

You giggled shyly at his analogy, and took his hand. You let him take you to the dance floor, where he pulled you close, super close - like so close that your lips were almost touching one another’s - and began to guide you into a waltz. He moved forward, you moved back. You put your head on his shoulder, and reveled in his smoky scent. 

You went around once, then twice, then three times, then four times. All sense of time went out the window. You just kept moving. Your bodies were so close. All you wanted was to feel his body right next to yours… all night long… 

It was too soon to be thinking like that, and you knew it. You discarded the thought immediately. But your movements were slow, like you were in a time lapse of zero-point-twenty-five; a slowed version of the song playing above. Your breath was loud, your heart was heavy, your vision was dark. 

Five times around now.

You just wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t. Neither of you. It was like you were stuck on repeat. Rewinding everytime it was getting close to the end. You didn’t want it to change. You were happy. It had been so long since you’d felt arms around you. 

Felt your heart beat like it was lovesick.

Felt your stomach doing butterflies.

Felt someone else’s body heat.

Felt someone else’s heartbeat.

Felt a closeness to someone you’d never met before.

Felt like someone loved you. 

You hugged Adam at last, still moving in a waltz, but no longer keeping up the position.

Six, seven, eight, nine, times around. 

Damn, this was too good for you. You didn’t deserve this, did you? You only met this guy right now. You knew nothing about him yet. But that’s what second dates were for, right? 

You were in denial. You wanted to love again, but you were scared. You felt like it was too soon. How had you found the perfect guy by accident, your first time in three years? Were you just that lucky, or was he not what he said he was? Or was your fate just perfect? 

Fuck. You were indeed in love. And there was nothing you could do about it.  

Adam pulled his fingers through your hair slowly, and you breathed in carefully, allowing your mind to relax. What the fuck were you doing, letting yourself loose like this with someone you didn’t know? Another deep breath, and yet another spin around. You’d lost track at this point. Was it eleven or twelve? You breathed in again, and you could hear Adam’s rhythmic breathing slow to match up with yours. 

In together, out together. In together, out together. 

Once. 

Twice.

Three times.

Again and again, again and again.

Around, around, around. 

The only thing that told you the laser-lights were flashing were the red and orange stripes flickering across your closed eyelids. Your movements were starting to waver, so were Adam’s. You danced until, finally, you both came to a stop. You raised your head up searchingly. “What’s wrong?” You asked it like you’d known this man for years. 

He answered it like he’d known you for years. “Thought… It was getting late. You need a ride home? I can take you.”

“No,” you said instantly. “I… shouldn’t…”

“You’re right. Let me call you an uber. I’ll pay.”

“No.” you leaned into him, pushing him back. “It’s getting closer to the end, hit rewind…” You mumbled inaudibly. 

“Hmm?” Adam asked quietly. 

“Let’s keep going.” You insisted, turning again. This made thirteen. “I’m not ready to leave yet.”

Adam smiled into your hair, and started again. “Okay. We can stay for as long as you want. I guess I don’t really have anywhere to be tomorrow.”

“Good,” you whispered as you started waltzing around the dance floor once more. It was quiet as the night dragged on, and a cool breeze started to blow in through the open window, but for you the night would never end. You wouldn’t have it any other way. You were just happy that you’d found someone to spend a little time with. 

You were able to get away from your dreary life at home and open up to someone. To talk with someone. To feel someone. Finally, you were getting on with your life. You were so relieved to be passing this blockage. 

You pressed your cheek against Adam’s chest, turned your nose up, smiled, emotion so strong within you, your mind was numb. In a haze of satisfaction, you raised your head, your vision blurring from the neon lights. Adam’s face was darkened, but even so there was still kindness showing in his eyes. His lips were just within eye level, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. You parted your lips slightly, almost hesitantly, then put your mouth on his, stretching up on your toes to reach better. 

The dopamine rush engulfed you; clouds departing to reveal the sun after a rainy day. You gasped, your mind spun, Adam kissed you back. The warm flavor was like rosy, poofy, wedding cake. The way in which it filled your mouth so silkily was fascinating, and how the supply was just endless. You would never run out of anything here. Not from a source as strong as this! And, with this in mind, you dove in deeper, all with the intent of keeping Adam Stanheight from going home.

It worked. Of course it did.   

Toxic; I'll Love You Anyway - Adam Stanheight/Reader

A/N Melanie Martinez’s unreleased song - Ring Pop - gave me some serious toxic vibes. And I imagined a new kind of look for Adam. But don’t worry, I’ll stick to the fluff’s from now on…

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You felt the cold seep into your skin. It was quiet tonight, and lonely. You wanted the company again, but you knew that it wasn’t the same - not anymore. You missed the old times, back when everything was right. You had cried yourself to sleep several nights now. In all honesty, this was your life for two years. You didn’t know why you couldn't shake it? Perhaps it was all because you were still haunted by the memories, after all you were still LIVING there.

Your thumb traced over the gift. It was sticky, and smelled like cherries. “I love you,” you whispered, as you stroked the ring pop once more. You didn’t even care that it was making your hands filthy. You would be better once your partner came back - and you knew he would be here very soon. Just a little longer. He had to finish all his work…

But the sight of the other woman’s panites still lingered in your mind, and scarred you. You didn’t want to think about it too much, however it was so daunting. What was with the unfamiliar undergarments? You let out a deep breath into the silent atmosphere, feeling sad. Were you not… good enough for him, anymore?

What was he doing at this moment, you wondered. Was he ACTUALLY doing his work or did just tell you that to make you feel better? You missed Adam Stanheight. Where was he now? You felt like you couldn’t live without him, all you wanted was to feel his embrace again. To kiss him again. Where was he?

Baby, will you be here soon?

“Baddum… a new ring pop…Baddum, a new ring pop…” You murmured to yourself repeatedly. You sank down into the couch when finally a large, white, pool of luminescence portrayed itself on the dark ground, illuminating the room dimly and showcasing the slight silhouette of somebody standing in the doorway. You knew who it was then, and your heart leapt into your throat. It was like finally shooting up after days and days of being away. You ran to him.

Adam greeted you with open arms, as usual. He scooped you up and twirled you once around the room. “Waiting for me in the dark again, I see? What’s with this sudden change of habit?”

You didn’t answer, you just hugged him close. “I love you…”

Adam chuckled. “I love you, too.” It sounded forced, and he pushed past you hastily.

“Adam,” you called. “Why are you home so late? What happened at work? Do I get to know?”

“No.” Adam’s voice echoed strictly through the kitchen and into the living room.

You hung your head disappointedly. “Oh… okay…”

Following him into the kitchen you found him leaning on the counter, attempting to light a cigarette. His hands were trembling too much to keep the lighter down, not to mention his cigarette kept nearly falling from his fingers each time he tried. You stepped up to him so that your bodies were touching, and took both from him. He watched miserably while you steadily held the flame to the cigarette and then let it ignite.

You turned your hand out to him, offering the cigarette back. He lifted your hand up, and closed his lips around the cigarette. Keeping eye contact with you, he took a deep breath in. Immediately upon inhalation Adam’s entire demeanor seemed to change. He seemed slightly more like himself again. You were glad to see him relaxing. “Stressful workday?” You asked him.

“Mmhmm,” Adam mumbled, and nodded.

You stroked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Adam’s short responses made you feel unappreciated. You were trying your hardest, but why didn’t he want anything to do with you? Why did he always come back to you? “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yes.”

Your heart jumped, and you looked excitedly into Adam’s eyes. “Really!?”

“Mhm.”

You flung your arms around his shoulders. “Oh yes! Thank you! I love you so much!”

Adam sighed, and nuzzled your forehead. “What are you still doing up? You know it’s late, you should have been asleep a long time ago.”

You shivered at his stern tone. “Y-Yeah… Well, I was waiting for you… Like I always do…”

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll be right there.”

“What? But you’re staying HERE tonight! We should do something fun! Right? Don’t you wanna have a good time while you’re here with me? Remember when we used to stay up ‘till three watching comedies?”

“Y/N…” Adam whispered gravely. He wasn’t looking at you.

Your heart broke. “You don’t want to do that?”

Adam thought carefully, before saying, “I think we’ve moved on from those days.”

Your heart plummeted to earth, your hopes and dreams falling apart right in front of your eyes. You were devastated, tragic. Frantically, you pressed up against Adam, your hands roaming his body and your noses touching. “But… We can stay up… watch adult cartoons?” Then you asked a little more sexily, “Will you blow up the big balloons/balloon? So big that they all go… pop?”

Adam pulled his head back for another quick drag on his cigarette, but he returned it to its close proximity afterwards. “Y/N…”

“Dress up in each other’s clothes?” you continued desperately. “Dance in the dark to jazz? Have bubblegum at midnight? Get tipsy? Turn off the lights and kiss in the corner? Promise…”

Adam leaned his head forward, and he did kiss you. His lips were so wild it drove you mad. You gasped as he got a little… vulgar… You hadn’t kissed him in so long. It felt like forever ago. It was so good, too. You groaned against his lips.

He pushed away from the counter, and guided you backwards across the kitchen. Adam’s mouth left a slimy trail from your lips to your ear. Your socks slipped on the wood floor as you moved back. A couple of random items littered the floor and your feet skidded into them; the feeling of metal and sharp pins stabbed into the bottom of your right foot. You flinched, but kept moving. You rarely ever got Adam like this anymore, you weren’t going to put a stop to it. You closed your eyes as your back pressed onto the cool, sleek, wall.

It was like water on your lips, engulfing your mouth and taking you under again. Your mind was completely still and silent, peaceful and whole, while your surroundings gave you blackness and quietness. And then, just like a ripple coming through, the water surged upward. The wild waves spilled down your cheeks and neck, and got into your mouth; it was your shore. The feelings made you weak.

Adam pushed you further up the wall, making you squeal audibly. He felt out the layout of his partner’s body. You resurfaced, gasping, panting, in dire need of breath. The repetition played before you like a film that was set to loop; no end seemed to ever come of that ocean. You greeted his waves with your own, each time being more eager than that of the last. You were so deeply in love. Fuck…

Adam had started kissing your chest, and both his hands were pushing your head into the wall, so that it was angled up towards the ceiling. You could feel him making his way further and further down, his lips soft as silks. Down, down, down.

Oh what a wonderful feeling.

And then, as Adam neared your waist, he looked up at you, for the first time taking his mouth off your skin. You shivered at the cold spot on your stomach where his lips had been. You returned his gaze. “What’s the matter?” You wondered.

“I love you.” Adam examined your face for a short moment.

Your heart fluttered dramatically. You loved hearing him say that. “I… I love you, too.”

“But I need you to go upstairs for a little bit, okay? I have… things to take care of…”

“Like what?” You asked seductively. “Anything I can help with?” You put a strong emphasis on ‘I’.

“Y/N,” he said seriously.

“I wish you would trust me to tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m just… cleaning up a little bit…”

He means taking care of the mess he made with the other person downstairs…

“Right,” you said dubiously, and trailed off. There was more you wanted to say but you were… not sure how your questions would affect you later so you just turned around and climbed the stairs.

In the bedroom, you switched the light on, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As you displayed yourself majestically on the bed, hoping to get a good reaction from Adam when he joined you, you thought about some things.

It dampened your mood, unfortunately, but you did wonder about Adam’s loyalty. What the hell was the relationship you had with him? It was like you didn’t exist. You were only there for him when he needed you. You wanted Adam’s love again.

Adam smiled at you when he saw the sight waiting for him. “Well, Y/N. What have we here? Is someone asking for something?”

You would have looked excitedly into his eyes, if you weren’t feeling so somber at the moment. You kept your gaze cast down. “Why do you sleep with other people?” You asked him bluntly, your heart beating loudly, shaking you like an earthquake shakes the earth.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” he said.

“Then why do you fuck them and not me?” You demanded.

Adam sighed. “You’re my love, Y/N, you know.” His tone was dull and he didn’t meet your gaze. He let his hand fall to yours, and swiftly he removed the pretty, sticky, ring pop from your finger. He discarded it into the wastebasket beside the bed, and then fumbled in the bedside table. He replaced the old one with a new one, and then proceeded to kiss your lips. “You’re always my VIP.”

You looked at the ring pop on your finger again halfheartedly, starting to feel better again. “Really?”

Adam nodded briefly. “Of course.”

“Promise to play house with me forever…”

Adam only watched you disdainfully. “Just relax. You know I have to go back out in the morning.”

Your heart was torn out again. Oh yeah… That’s right… he doesn’t give a fuck about me…

“I love you,” you whispered.

“You, too,” he replied unenthusiastically. “Just remember the ring pop, Y/N. You can never leave me. You won’t.”

You sighed and sank down into the mattress. That ring pop. Oh, that damned, fucking ring pop! How much importance it held. The very meaning of its purpose! It was almost like a marking; an unbreakable bond that was signed off at marriage. It kept you here, trapped you here; a rope of captivity tying you to him for eternity. There was no escaping this… but did you even want to? Something about the way the sharp splinters cut into your skin made you want to tie the knot tighter.

But you knew Adam didn’t love you. Not really at least. Maybe there were times when he returned and he DID remember what he fell in love with, but that part of him was gone. Had been for a long time now. Ever since he married you. Ever since you gave him all your money. But he HAD loved you once upon a time. He HAD cared. He HAD wanted you. And it broke your heart to see it all gone now.

Is this unhealthy? You wondered. Should I leave? Do I want to? You stared up at Adam and the answer came to you instantly. That miserable look in his eyes. He DID need you, just as you needed him. You both were tethered to each other, simply by one existing element: a lonely ring pop that destroyed all of the current reality. You longed for Adam’s love, and somewhere Adam longed for something from you as well, whatever that might be. And together the two combined to make a perfect match out of a million little flaws.

You wondered about Adam, as well. Was he the same person as before? It didn’t really appear like it. Sometimes instead of tying YOU up, the prickly rope tied around ADAM, and he forgot what he was doing. Got confused and disoriented. Got consumed in his lie.

Was he going to come back to you one day? Was he going to come back to his senses? Did he want that? Did YOU want that?

As much as you hated it, you did know the reason for his infidelity. He was lost. He didn't know what he wanted. He got his money, then lost himself. He was looking for something in them. But he held on to you because... well, you were natural.

Normal.

Everything he needed.

That was why he kept coming back. That was why he stayed. And that was why he left.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in your ear softly. “Usually you're squirming by this time.” His voice was low and ominous.

In a rush, the world came crashing down on top of you. White noise filled your ears and darkness consumed your vision. You gasped. Adam was touching on you inappropriately in between the legs, and sending kisses down your jaw. You groaned and rocked your hips into his palm. “A-Adam. Hi. Yes. I-I’m with you.”

“Better be,” Adam mumbled. “Don't leave me like that again.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Adam’s voice softened and an ounce of actuality crept into it.

You inhaled sharply. Sometimes you could still hear HIM in his voice. Maybe Adam COULD come back? Maybe, just maybe, he would want to?

“And I love you, Adam…”

Always.

.

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A/N I’m sorry for the sad story. Also, I love how this one turned out. It bleeds tragedy and heartbreak. It’s everything that I dream about writing one day, (not to mention I actually worked really hard to paint the exact picture I had in my mind.) so I'd love it if people would drop a like to let me know what they thought. Thanks so much for the support. I don’t express it but I do appreciate all of you!

~ TwooneZ

Bleeding Out - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N sorry for the long delay, also my non creative title creating. Anyway, this is inspired by Imagine Dragon's Bleeding Out. It's a loooot longer than usual, but please enjoy!

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The news had been informed to you as soon as you got home from work that day. It was all too earth shattering. Like someone was covering your eyes with a painted blindfold, so as to hide the truth from you. It made the air cold and stale, made your skin crawl, made your head reel. You stared at the detective, your mouth so dry it might as well have been its own desert. Your heart felt weak, and you glanced up at and down your room. It was so cold. Tears filled your eyes and you shook your head, begging yourself to have the strength to move. It was all so unreal. You hoped you would wake up soon.

The firm, calloused, hand put itself on your shoulder. The grip was tight, and pushed on your tense muscles. It was trying to soothe you, but failing utterly. The blue eyes were grave, and sad. They gathered all your information from one single glance. The voice that spoke was fragile; low but sensitive, reassuring and empathetic, apologetic, reluctant.

The detective told you it was okay. He asked if you had anywhere to go. He wanted to know if you wanted to stay there. He was wondering about your last interaction. He was fearful for you. He wanted you safe. So did the other officers. You couldn’t even speak. You just wanted to be there. You had to see it for yourself. It seemed way too impossible.

“It’s going to be okay.” The officer’s deep voice spoke to you soothingly. “I need you to come with me, Ma’am/Sir.”

You looked into his eyes. “NO! I need to see him! I need to see if it’s true, please take me to him. I love him, I love him! He’s my boyfriend, you don’t understand!” You were hysterical. Tears stained your white face. Your heart lurched painfully with every heartbeat. “Please,” you begged.

The officer nodded sadly. “Okay. We can figure something out. Just come with me. Do you have anyone to stay with?”

You shook your head. “N-No. Just him.”

“Okay. Do you want us to bring you back here?”

“Just tell me what happened again, officer. Is… Is A-Adam still alive?”

“As far as we know. The report came in just a few minutes ago. A friend of yours told someone to come get you.”

Your mouth flapped open and closed uselessly for several seconds. “Is he okay?”

The policeman shook his head helplessly. “We only know that Adam was kidnapped three hours ago. He’s being held in an underground basement in New Jersey.

You stared at him in disbelief, the gears in your mind turning slowly, excruciatingly. You stammered short breaths. “I-I-I don’t understand. What did he do? Why did they take him?”

You were pulled out of the apartment by the man. “We have people working on finding him. Would you like to go with us?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed. “Yes! I need to see him again!”

“Okay. Get in the car. You’re going to be fine, Y/N.”

You slunk into the police car, feeling scared. Your breath was coming fast, but you were trying to remain calm. You had been asleep twenty minutes ago, so your mind was still a bit foggy. As of right now, you seemed to be wide awake. All you could think about was your boyfriend.

The car ride was silent and unbearable. You shuffled your feet back and forth on the floor, feeling miserable. The policeman pulled into the station. “We’ve just got news on his location,” he commented. We want you to stay here, while a team goes to get him.”

You launched yourself out the door, and grabbed his shoulders. “You have to let me go with you!” You shouted. You shook him back and forth lightly. “You can’t keep me from him, I have to see him, I need to see him, I can’t leave him all alone, he needs me. Don’t you understand, of course you don’t, you’ve never been in love, have you, I have to go with you! I have to!” Your words were rushed and panicked. You weren’t even making complete sentences.

“I can’t, Ma’am/Sir. I can’t put a citizen like you in that kind of danger. It goes against my entire job.”

You latched your arms around his neck and hung there, your knees weak and your face pressing into his shirt, allowing tears to soak it. You sobbed loudly. The officer held you up kindly, and let you cry on his shoulder. He had dealt with these kinds of crimes before. This was practically NORMAL for him. He guided you inside, and dropped you onto a blue-cushioned chair. You were in a waiting room, surrounded by other people, but you were the only one crying, and you were the only one being loud enough to interrupt.

“I’m going to be inside that room.” The officer pointed to a doorway on the right. “You are with people who want to help you. If you need anything, you’re welcome inside. I’ll try my best to help you. Our lovely receptionist over here, Lindsy…” he pointed to a young woman behind a counter. “...can help you with anything, okay? She’s a very nice lady.”

You stared at the man and the woman in awe, your body numb. You’d only met this person right now, but somehow your mind had latched on to him. You didn’t want him to leave you! “No!” You whined. “Don’t go!”

The officer laughed. “I’ve gotta find your baby, okay? So that way you can see him again. I’m sure he’d appreciate it if you let me do my job.”

You stared in horror at the man as he slid into his office. Your chest felt tight, your eyes felt hot, and they stung whenever you blinked. Your head hurt.

“Mister Bale!” The receptionist called after him. “Do you want it written or printed?”

The officer poked his head out again. “Printed will be just fine, Ms. Sower. Thank you.”

You were left to yourself for the remaining time. Speaking of time, time was a precious thing, for there was so much of it, much more of it than there was money on the planet - nevertheless, to you, there seemed to be too much of it. Why was everybody still here? Didn’t they know that your boyfriend was in unsafe conditions? What were they doing? Why weren’t they doing anything? You started to panic. “Lady,” you sobbed. You collapsed onto the counter, behind which the receptionist was looking at you. “Please, you have to save him! Why’s no one helping him?”

Lindsy stretched her arm out across the counter to comfort you. “The police are working on it. Mr. Bale is leading the investigation in fact.” Her voice was calm.

Your knees gave way beneath you, and you fell to the floor. Lindsy came out from behind the desk, she lunged for you. Lindsy caught you in her strong arms. Vision blurred, you put your head on her shoulder, crying and screaming. Lindsy simply combed her fingers through your hair carefully, murmuring and whispering to you in an attempt to make you feel better. “Madam / Sir, I want you to breathe. Your boyfriend is going to be found, I promise.” You wailed even louder.

Mr. Bale came back out of his office, his steps firm, but light. He swept into the waiting room, and pointed at Lindsy, not even seeing you there. Everything was blurring together. All of the officer’s movements and words seemed slow and laggy. “Get… Merrit… and… Kingsly…” He nodded. “I’m… ready… to… leave…”

Lindsy smoothed your hair out and then stood up and went to retrieve the other policemen. You gazed up at Mr. Bale. “Are you going to get Adam?”

Things started to come back into real time again. Mr. Bale knelt down. “Yes-”

“-I want to go with you!” You yelled.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I don’t want to endanger you.”

You grabbed his waist. “PLEASE!” You were so hysterical that you couldn’t even remember your manners, not even social norms. All you wanted was to see Adam Stanheight again.

The officer grit his teeth, and sighed. “No.” He kicked you off of him, and you fell onto the floor. At any other time you would have considered yourself deserving of that treatment; if someone had been pleading on your legs like a crybaby, while you tried to save people’s lives, you would’ve gotten annoyed as well. You had barely even skimmed the floor, but it felt like you’d been crushed. You didn’t think Mr. Bale was very nice for kicking you.

As you got to your feet, two men walked up to Mr. Bale. They started talking hurriedly, all at once, and headed for the police car waiting outside. Lindsy still wasn’t back yet, and an idea was forming already in your mind. You strode confidently to the reception desk, and disappeared behind it.

There was a green,tiny, basket by the computer. There were many car keys inside it already. From the left, you could hear Lindsy’s voice around the corner. “I know, Sir. I think they must have found Bale first.”

In an instant, before you could even have time to think, your hand launched out and dove into the basket. The metal cut into your skin and you recoiled, pulling with you a car key of your own. Lindsy opened the door, just as you closed your hands around the keys. Your fearful eyes looked up into the receptionist’s, your face white, your heart thudding into your rib cage.

Lindsy was surprised to see you standing in her office. “Y/N…” She said sternly. “What are you doing? Can I help you?”

Lower lip trembling from anxiety, you shook your head timidly. You kept your eyes on anything except for hers. The wall, the ceiling, the desk, the bottom of her dress, the tips of your shoes. Lindsy grabbed you, hard, by the forearm and tugged you out from behind her desk. “If you need anything, Y/N, you can ask me from that side.” Her tone was strict.

You shifted back toward the blue chairs, keeping your head down. From inside, you could hear the car engine start up, and you knew you had to get out of there. You leapt from your chair in a hurry, and catapulted out the sliding doors. Lindsy, who had barely had the chance to sit down, called out to you in alarm. She went racing after you.

You hurtled into the nearest cop car, your whole entire body rigid with fear and adrenaline. Lindsy was coming around the brightly lit corner in front of you, while Mr. Bale and his partners headed for the exit. You scrambled for the seatbelt.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Lindsy was shouting. “Come back! What are you doing?” She spotted you in the car. You locked eyes with each other. You backed out of the parking space, nearly hitting the car behind you. Ms. Sower flinched. “Ma’am/Sir I need you to step out of the car.”

You ignored the authority. In fact, you couldn’t have cared less about her direct order, if you had tried. You made a beeline for the exit, leaving Lindsy gawking after you in complete confusion. In the rearview, the receptionist made a phone call, as you sped off down the road, rapidly catching up to the nice policemen.

Finally, you thought. I’m coming for you, Adam! I promise!

The ride seemed to take an entire season! Every stop sign, and red light took up more time than you would have wanted. Each second waiting was another wasted moment. As soon as you could move again, you always slammed the gas harder than the last time. You kept yourself several cars behind Mr. Bale, just so that you didn’t get caught stalking him.

When you pulled into a dark, gloomy, parking lot, you could hear the policemen talking amongst themselves. One of them said, “Peter, Lindsy left a voicemail?”

You halted the car near the street, so that way the officers wouldn’t run into it, if they tried to back out. It was too dark to see where it was anyway.

Mr. Bale looked at him. “What was she saying?”

You unclicked your seatbelt, and held your breath, fear rising inside you.

“The man/woman you brought in earlier stole one of the cop cars. They’ve been following us.”

Mr. Bale sighed. “I’ve seen a lot of shit, but I’ve never had one of my rescuees steal a police car from me. This one certainly has obstinance.”

“Should we go in, then? Or should we go back, to make sure he’s/she’s safe?”

You were outraged that the officer would even think that! They’d traveled all this way here, just to go back!? NO! You wouldn’t allow that! You flung yourself out of the car, yelling. “You won’t leave my boyfriend in there!” You ran up to each of them. “I need you to save him, I love him! Don’t you fucking leave him in there, or else what good are you? You save people, am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong!”

Mr. Bale shook his head. “No, Ma’am/Sir. But seeing as you’re already here with us, you might as well come along.” He planted his finger firmly on your sternum. “Stay. Close. I’m not about to lose two.”

You shrank back, nodding profusely. “Yes, Sir. Just let me see Adam!”

The officers walked ahead, keeping you in the back for protection. You followed hesitantly. You knew you shouldn’t be here, you knew you shouldn’t have stolen that car… or those keys… but you had been in such distress! Maybe now you had a guilty conscience, but all the same, you didn’t regret what you had done.

In front of you was an abandoned building. It looked like it had been a warehouse of some kind, a long time back. Boxes were littered all around the place, but mostly it was open, empty, space. At the far end of the room was a large, double door. It led to an elevator that traveled so far underground it took five whole minutes to reach the bottom. Your stomach flipped repeatedly as you let the elevator take you down. The stairs were blocked off by large, crooked, boxes.

You found yourselves on the lowest level, a basement. White tile made up the floor and walls. Everything was white, and it hurt your eyes. The lights were blasting from above, reflecting off the tiles. You squinted. The three men took up positions in front of you, staying in formal order. Obviously, they knew what they were doing. You stumbled along blindly, keeping your head down, until you rounded a corner. And that was when you heard muffled screaming and shouting.

Adam’s voice was the one you heard first, shrieking and squealing and sobbing; panicking. Your heartbeat started up again, and you charged into the policemen, struggling, forcing your way through them.

The men pressed closer together. “Y/N!” Mr. Bale exclaimed, grabbing your arms. “Stop! You need to stay back. Let us scout the area first.”

You launched yourself from right to left with all your strength, twisting your arms wretchedly, throwing your shoulders all around. Bale had you in a tight grip. So tight, that you couldn’t even release yourself from his hands. “Stop it!” You screamed, lashing out with your feet, trying to kick him away from you.

Your feet collided into Bale’s knees. The officer stumbled, a small, amused, smile on his face. He rolled his eyes. “You really don’t like letting me do my job, do you?”

You threw yourself back, shifting all your weight onto him. The two of you fell on the floor, causing Mr. Bale to let go of you.

In a flurry of hands and feet - fast as light speed - you jumped into the air and took off down the pristine hallway.

You crashed into the metal door, and smashed your fists against it. You screamed for Adam until your voice was sore and raw.

“Chill out, Y/N. We’re gonna help him out,” one of the officers told you calmly.

You sank down to your knees and started bawling.

“It’s locked.”

“Did you DO your research, Harver?” Mr. Bale asked sarcastically, scanning the top of the door. “John Kramer, creator of the most recent traps in New Jersey. Kidnapper and murderer.” He began struggling with a notch on the door. It was a little slab that stuck out of the middle of the door. It looked like it could slide up and down, but it hadn’t been used in a really long time. It was rusted in place, perhaps. “There has to be a way inside from out here.”

Harver, the officer on the right, scoffed. “Did you do YOURS, Sir? Kramer wouldn’t MAKE a way inside at all.”

The notch shot up along the door at that moment. It made a horrific screech and then a lock snapped open somewhere to the right. Mr. Bale threw Harver a smug look. “Gardener,” he addressed the second officer with him. “Stay with Y/N.”

The officer on the left sat down, cross legged, behind you and patted your shoulder reassuringly. “You hear that?” He asked amiably. “You get to wait with lil’ ol’ me.” He grinned at you. You didn’t look at him, just pressed yourself further against the wall, and listened quietly as the two other officers pushed open the door and went inside.

The yelling inside instantly got louder. You could hear Adam’s voice clearly now, as well as the other man’s. They were arguing about something, each of them sounded desperate and urgent.

“The police!?” Adam’s voice cracked. “Look, Lawrence, the police! It’s the police, don’t shoot me, don’t shoot me! Please, please. Oh my god!” There was a loud bang from inside the room, and you lost your self-control. Blinded by love, but mostly fear, you wrestled free from Gardener’s grasp, and bolted into the room.

Mr. Bale, and Mr. Harver were standing by the door, trying to assess the situation. Meanwhile, in the corners of the white bathroom, were two men. One of them, you didn’t recognize. He had a gun pointed at the man across from him. Adam Faulkner Stanheight was across from Lawrence. He was crying and begging, pushed into the corner as far as he could go, his knees up and his hands behind his head. His flannel was laying on the floor beside him. He could barely take his eyes off Lawrence to get a good look at who was in the room with them now. Gardener came in to help his partners.

“ADAM!” You screamed and launched yourself at him. You grabbed him, hugged him and started bawling into his shoulder.

Your boyfriend was so stunned to see you here. He wrapped his arms around your waist. “Y/N? W-What are you doing here? How did you get in? How did you find me?”

“I was so scared that you were dead!”

Adam laughed wryly. “So was I.”

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“Not yet… Just very cold and wet.”

“Y/N…” Mr. Bale said plainly from the side. “Come back here. We don’t want you getting involved in this. It’s not safe.”

“So why the fuck did you bring them!?” Adam shouted.

Mr. Bale simply looked at Adam condescendingly. “Because your baby couldn’t keep herself/himself from stealing a cop car and following us all the way here before we could figure it out.”

Adam’s mouth fell open and he stared at you. You grabbed his cheeks. “I love you!”

Adam shook his head. “I love YOU.”

Bale grabbed your arm and hauled you away. “Okay, hold onto your lovesickness for a little longer. We don’t need more pedestrians in the way.”

You sank back a little bit, feeling hesitant and wary. Mostly you wanted to be touching Adam again. But you knew the police were right. It was safer for you outside the crime scene.

“I will not let my daughter die…” Lawrence’s voice was low and maniac. He cocked the gun once again.

The policemen moved towards him. “How ‘bout you give me the gun?” Harver asked. He was the closest one to Gordon.

Lawrence looked at them, his face white as snow, the whites of his eyes so bloodshot it looked like they were glowing. You noticed the blood seeping around him on the ground and you flinched back into the Mr. Bale. “Holy shit! His leg!” You gagged, feeling something heavy rising up your throat, and tossed yourself to the side, trying to block your view. Mr. Bale held you up protectively, watching tentatively, as his partners took care of things.

“I need to…” Lawrence sounded insane, like he had lost himself to the trauma of this event. He pulled the trigger without even looking, without even making sure he was aiming in the right direction. Not even making sure the gun wasn’t facing himself.

Your heart plunged, all kinds of sickness left your body instantaneously. All you could see was the bullet heading straight for your boyfriend’s chest. You didn’t even pause to think; it was instinctive. Leaping from your place by the door, arms spread out on either side of you, eyes open wide with terror, and your mind numb, you landed protectively in front of Faulkner, on your knees, gazing at Lawrence with hatred.

The bullet pierced you on the left side of your chest, only inches away from the most vital organ. Hot, searing, pain overtook your entire left side, and you screamed, crashing down onto the cool, tile floor. Blood welled from your chest and spilled down your clothes.You could hear the clanging of Adam’s chains, as he fought against them to get to you. “No! Y/N! Fuck, no! No! What the fuck!?”

Mr. Bale pointed at Gardener. “Call an ambulance! Probably get a locksmith as well.” Gardener ran into the hall, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Y/N!” Adam shouted. You were just out of reach of his hands. “No, no, no, no! Y/N!”

Mr. Bale came over and rolled you onto your back. Your vision was blurring and you were getting light headed. The last thing that you saw was the officer bending down to examine your facial features, and then you passed out.

You woke up on a park bench, with the green grass under your feet. Adam was in the building across from you, he wasn’t looking at you. You gazed around dumbly. From the side you could hear a soft melody drifting towards you.

So I bare my skin, and I count my sins

And I close my eyes, and I take it in.

And I’m bleeding out.

The air was warm and blew into your hair. You felt content as the sunlight touched you gracefully. Your mental state was relaxed and you felt right at home. You breathed in the Spring scents of flowers and life, feeling inspired. And the music continued distantly.

You tell me to hold on,

Oh, you tell me to hold on.

But innocence is gone,

And what was right is wrong.

Inside the strange, tall building, you could see the silhouette of your boyfriend through the tinted windows. He seemed totally indifferent to your presence, and it made you feel slightly jealous. What part of this wasn’t worth being with you? Again, the music came to your attention. It was solemn but meaningful.

‘Cause I’m bleeding out.

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

I’ll bleed out for you.

You wondered what Adam was doing over there all by himself. Gently, you started to get to your feet, your clothes blowing in the wind. You swept across the grassy field dreamily, leaving behind the calming music.

So I bare my skin, and I count my sins

And I close my eyes, and I take it in.

And I’m bleeding out.

I’m bleeding out for you.

Slowly, you made your way to the building. It towered above you terrifyingly. And then, you reached for the door handle. It was hot from the sun, and smelled metallic. You breathed deeply, and pulled open the door.

You couldn’t see inside, it was mostly just white, but you could hear indistinct voices - one of them being excessively familiar to you. They sounded distressed, and scared. If they weren’t all talking at once, maybe you could have understood what they were saying. That was, until the familiar voice spoke. You could hear its words clearly.

“I can see them!? Are they okay? Really? Y-Yeah, but… you’re sure? I love them so much.” You walked inside.

In a painful, spluttering, daze, you tossed and turned in your hospital bed. Your eyes were open, and you were gazing around the place, high on medical drugs. Adam was bending over you, a worried look on his face. He was examining your face, but his gaze still flickered down to the wound on your chest sometimes.

He traced a thumb down your cheek, his bottom lip trembling. He was crying, and it broke your heart, but you didn’t have the energy to move. You stayed still, gazing up at the ceiling, face blank.

“Please come back to me…” Adam whispered. You blinked, and locked eyes with him. Adam’s eyes stretched wide when he saw your acknowledgement. “I love you.” You looked into each other’s eyes for a couple of short seconds, and then Mr. Bale came walking into the hospital room.

“I’m just about to leave,” he said. “But I figured I’d give you both one more check in.”

Adam nodded briefly, and forced his gaze to rest on the police officer. “Oh.”

“How’s she/he?” Bale pointed to you on the hospital bed.

“Doctors say they’ll be alright.”

“And you?” Bale inquired. Adam shook his head, the only response he could muster. “Hmm. It’ll take some time, but… you’ll figure it out.”

It was silent for a minute, both men watching you gravely. Their heart beats were pounding nervously, but the simple matter of having each other’s company was enough to calm them down.

Bale’s voice was somber and sympathetic, and echoed lightly off the tile walls. “She/He loves you.”

Adam exhaled sadly, not wanting to think about how much you loved him. He couldn’t take any more of the heartbreak.

“She/He proved that tonight, you know. Made a big deal of going with me, just for you, just to see you. But my job won’t allow that.”

Adam raised his hands up to his face, and started crying harder. You stared at him miserably, wishing you could move, but for some reason you were so tired. You closed your eyes.

“Well, I’m going to take my leave,” Mr. Bale said eventually.

“Okay…” Adam answered, and Bale started for the door. “Hey, um… Did you catch him?”

Bale stopped to adjust his vest. “No,” he replied quickly. “We went back to the site… The body was gone from the room.”

“Huh.”

In silence, the officer left the room again, leaving Adam staring at you. You felt Stanheight comb through your hair with his fingers. “I love you.”

You relaxed your head into his hand sleepily. I love you, too.

Paranoiac Assumptions -Adam Stanheight /Reader

A/N This was inspired by a writing prompt! Enjoy ~

.

You stepped out into the warm atmosphere, the sun shining brilliantly. Adam Faulkner hadn’t invited you but you’d come by anyway. His apartment windows were all sealed shut. You threw a pencil at it, because you knew it wouldn’t break the glass, unlike a pebble would. It was enough to get Adam’s attention. He opened the window and peered out at you. “Y/N! What brings you here on a day like today?”

You shrugged. “Oh… nothin’ much. What’re YOU doing?” 

Adam had a sharp knife in his hands. He rolled his head back. “Cooking.”

You stared at Adam in disbelief. “ ‘Cooking’!? You? You’ve gotta be joking.”

“I wish,” Adam grumbled. “But no. I have a client coming over. We’re staying late, so I figured I’d make something…”

“Want me to help?” You called out to him.

Adam had turned away, obviously he was watching something inside. “Ah, fuck.” He stalked back into the kitchen. 

You stared after him, but he never came back. You realized then that you lost your pencil among the bushes lining the apartment wall. You sat in the sun for a couple of moments, enjoying its warm rays on your tingly skin, but eventually that got boring. “Adam!” You shouted up to him. Your neck was getting sore from looking up. “Are you going to let me in? You know I don’t have the password to the front door.”

No answer. All you could hear was the singing of the birds in the trees and the barking of a couple of dogs not far away. For once there wasn’t overwhelming traffic to stand in your way. “Adam, I don’t want to throw a rock and break your window. What are you doing?” 

Still, there was no response. You knocked on the door. Maybe there was someone inside who would let you in? But, no one showed up. You stalked over to the bushes to try and find your pencil. The leaves were damp from the earlier rain. You were unsatisfied when you got water in your shoes. At least you found your pencil! 

You stood back and aimed your shot. The window was open this time, but maybe if you hit one of the closed ones the pencil wouldn’t fall into the apartament. You missed. The pencil sailed through the air and landed somewhere inside Adam’s apartment. You were able to hear the clink it made when it landed on the floor. You huffed in annoyance. Maybe the landlord would give you the code?

“Y/N!” Adam called down to you abruptly. 

Your heart leapt. “Adam?” Was he going to let you in this time?

“I found your pencil. You wanted something?” He put your pencil on the window sill.

“Yeah, I want to be let in,” you replied haughtily.

“Oh, shit, right.”  

Adam was clumsy sometimes but boy he was a sweetheart. And not to mention, he was kinda cute in the process of his clumsiness. “I love you.” 

Adam smiled. “I love you more.”

“I love you most!” You shot back triumphantly. 

“I love you superlatively,” Adam winked at you. 

You felt affection roll over you like it was a physical blanket of comfort. You blushed in embarrassment, feeling special. Adam was good at doing that to you. “Hey, Adam… it’s lovely out here and all, but-”

“Goddamn it, not again!” Adam walked back into the apartment, leaving you all alone once more. 

“Wait, Adam! Come back! Fuck…” You turned around to sit on a nearby street bench, which had been in the sun all morning so it was dry, when there was an exclamation from Adam’s window. You looked back up in alarm. 

“Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Damn it!”

“Adam!? Are you okay? Adam! Come down here! For the love of god, I will break your window just to get your attention. Don’t test me.” The statement canceled out your intention of using a pencil. Things change, I guess.

The lack of response put you on edge. Anything could be happening up there, and you couldn’t see it! Your heart started to pound. “Adaaaaaam!” You wailed miserably. “Come on, where the fuck are you?”

You could feel your eyes start to sting. Every moment away from your lover scared you more and more. You started sweating, and breathing fast.

"Fuck! Tell me you're okay, Adam! Tell me you're alright! Say something, anything!" You started to look on the ground for something to throw. You would do ANYTHING, if you had to.

“Excuse me, are you alright?” Someone asked from behind you. 

Nervously, you glanced over your shoulder. Adam’s landlord was eyeing you mistrustfully, his arms crossed over his chest and his mouth turned in a frown, as if he expected you to bite him unexpectedly. 

“No!” You exclaimed drastically, relieved to be getting some kind of help at last. “My boyfriend lives here. I need to get in to see him! Please! I think something’s happened to him.”

 “Adam Stanheight?” The landlord wanted confirmation before allowing some stranger into the apartment. 

“Yes!” You pleaded. Your heart sped up. What was this man doing? The longer you waited for his response the worse Adam's injury could be getting! What if he needed an ambulance! Someone had to rescue him! And you didn't have all day!

From above you, there was a series of curse words and the landlord looked up nonchalantly. You froze in terror. Now what what was happening?

The landlord gazed back at you blankly, and then walked over to the door. He pushed it open easily, and held it for you. You ran inside without even saying thank you. You took the stairs two at a time.

Slamming your fists on Adam’s apartment door, you yelled for him, alerting everyone else to your presence. “Adam! Adam! Open the door! Open the goddamn door! Come on, Adam!” You put your forehead on the door tiredly, and let out a breath. 

The splintered wood from the old, weary, door poked into your fingers and head, and increased the intensity of the moment. Hollow echoes bounced off the walls and ceiling as other people came and went. Your chest felt cold, and your arms were sore from clenching your fists. “Adam…?” You asked quietly. 

The door was pulled open suddenly, and you fell forward, much to Adam’s surprise. He let out a yelp, and caught you in his arms. “Oh my god! Y/N! What’s wrong!?” 

You pushed yourself out of his grasp and stared at him in horror. “What’s wrong with ME!?” You tackled Adam to the ground and scanned his face and body for injuries. “What happened to YOU? I heard you shouting and got really scared!” 

There was no sign of injury on your boyfriend. 

“Me?” Adam gave you a puzzled look, all the while trying to get your hands off his face. This task was not easy. “I’m fine, Y/N,” he attempted to explain around your fingers. “I just pinched myself in the pantry door. It hurt a lot at the time, but it’s gone now.”

“Well, what about after that?” You questioned straightforwardly, almost as though you were TRYING to find a reason to be upset. You got up and ran into the kitchen. Everything was neat and tidy, except for the utensils Adam had used for his cooking. Nothing suggested anything terrible. 

“What are you looking for?” Adam asked, staring at you dumbly, still recovering from your attack. 

“Right before I came in here,” you told him. “Something happened.”

He laughed. “Are you referring to when I spilled water on the floor? It got all over my clothes! I’m still a little wet from that.”

  You stared at Adam with your mouth agape and your eyes stretched wide, feeling awkward. Your mind was going numb. It felt like a dying flower losing it's last petal. “So… you’re okay?” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You were super embarrassed now!

“Mmhmm.” Adam nodded briefly. 

“Completely fine?” You wanted to make sure.

“Yep.” Adam popped his lips at the end. He closed the door to his apartment room.

You gazed around the room, unable to look Adam in the eyes. “Oh… Well… That’s good…” You fumbled with the edge of your shirt, trying to look busy. 

Adam passed you on his way to the stove. “Anyway. Want to stay for dinner?” He asked you casually.

You leaned against the counter, trying to get over the uncomfortableness. “Um… Yeah…” You said shyly. “I’d love to. Maybe I can stay the night, too?”

“A slumber party?” Adam asked, a sly smile on his lips. “Sure. After my client goes home. He’s stopping by to grab his pictures. You know the drill.”

“You must know him personally then? I don’t think you’d be making dinner for him otherwise.”

Adam shrugged. “Yeah. We’re close.”

You smiled. “Cute.”

Adam grinned back. “I try my best!”

You hung back, still scanning for signs of an accident. There was no sign of trouble lingering anywhere, and now it was very quiet. You said slowly, “Your day going well?” The embarrassment was wearing off.

“So far. How about yours?”

“Fine, I guess,” you mumbled. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You scared me.”

“Sorry.” Adam hugged you. “I was trying not to burn the apartment down.”

You leaned into him, feeling his strong arms around your shoulders, and you put your head on his chest. You relaxed in his embrace, adrenaline still high in your blood. “Well that’s good. Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

Adam smiled into your hair. “No, I guess not.”

A voice called through the open window. “Adam? Mind letting me in? I’m here to grab my pictures!”

Adam pulled away from you. “There he is,” he sighed happily.

“Does he know you made dinner?” You inquired.

“I told him,” Adam answered calmly. “But he probably forgot.”

You chuckled, and sat down at the breakfast table, as Adam went out to invite his client inside. You drummed your fingers lightly on the surface of the table, waiting for Adam to return. You'd forgotten about your pencil, and hopefully you'd find it before it fell out the window of its own accord, but there was no way to be sure of that, at this time. Your heart was finally starting to slow down, much to your relief. 

The harsh footsteps on the stairs put you on edge, as you tried to put every bad scenario that included Adam injuring himself in some way, out of your thoughts. You laid your head down on the table, and listened to the rhythmic tapping of your fingers until Adam returned back to you, safe and sound. 

All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

A/N - Inspired by Disturbed's song, The Light. I hope you enjoy!

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

.

It was Wednesday, three pm. Work had just finished for you, and as always, you’d gone to grab something to drink with your friends; Adam Faulkner Stanheight was included, of course. You were just leaving, your right hand getting cold from holding the fourth drink, it was your fiancé’s. 

You had been quiet for most of the trip from work to here. You could sense Adam’s depression as soon as you’d seen him, but you hadn’t had the heart to bring it up with him in front of your friends. You tried to tell yourself that it was just your anxiety, but you knew better than that. 

Adam greeted you with a smile though. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles either, it was genuine; one of those ‘I’m so happy to see you’ and ‘I love you so much,’ smiles. He hugged you. 

Adam though had chosen to stay in the car while you went into the shop with your friends. He hadn’t even requested anything, but you had ordered something for him anyway. You didn’t want him to miss out. That would have made you feel really sad! 

The weather had been clear for most of the day, however when work ended for you it started pouring, hail and rain were mixed in. You were unsatisfied to see that it hadn’t changed while you were ordering your drinks. You bobbed your head up and down to the song playing on the radio, as you waited for your friends to finish adjusting their coffees. You had gone through the alphabet twice when they arrived. 

Slowly, while laughing and joking, you walked back to Adam, who had his forehead on the top of the steering wheel, so as to not interrupt the silence with loud honking. Your demeanor changed at the sight. Seeing your significant other look so desolate made you unhappy. Your friends had wandered off together to go look in one of the strip malls. 

You pried the door open with a pinky finger, and then set your drink into one of the cup holders. “Hey, Adam,” you whispered. 

Adam Faulkner sat back, wiping at his eyes incessantly, trying to look completely laid back. “You’re back. Where’d your friends go?”

You attempted to ignore the sadness drifting off of Adam. “Over there.” You pointed to a shop across the street, and squinted your eyes to keep the sunlight out of them. From the corner of your vision though, you caught Adam trying not to break down. 

At first you were going to let him solve it, and not bring attention to his feelings. But after five antagonizing minutes, you got reckless. Watching him try to cover up sobs - and failing at it, by the way - was too much to bear. 

“Adam,” you breathed empathetically, and came around to his side. You straddled his lap. “I got you something.” You lifted the drink to Adam’s lips. 

Adam turned his head away. “I’m not thirsty.”

But that didn’t stop you. You turned his head towards you again, and tipped the cup forward. Adam gagged in surprise, but then took the cup from you, downing a quarter of its contents one go. 

When he was able to talk again, he looked at you in bewilderment. “You got my favorite…”

You smiled in amusement. “Of course!”

“Heh… thanks.” Adam looked insecure, as he put the cup into the holder next to yours. 

“Better?” You asked. To your disappointment, Adam shook his head. “No? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Adam just gazed at you heartbrokenly. He looked on the verge of tears. You opened your arms to him. “Come here,” you encouraged. 

Adam laid his head on your shoulder and started crying. He was so distraught it hurt you. You put your chin on top of his head, and breathed in his scent. 

The shoulder of your shirt was getting soaked from Adam’s tears, but you didn’t mind really. All that mattered to you right now was Stanheight. Your fiancé was having a difficult time as of late, due to traumatic past events. You felt really bad for him. 

Wrapping your arms around Adam’s waist, you pulled him close. There was no sound except for Adam’s weak crying. You held him tightly, rocking back and forth like you would a baby. The hollowness in your stomach increased with every breath released from his lungs. If only there was something you could do for him. 

“It’s alright,” you murmured. “I’m here with you.” You lifted your hands up his back comfortingly. “I’ll always be here.” Adam pressed closer, but didn’t say anything. “Please don’t shut me out, Adam. What’s wrong?”

You waited patiently for Adam to gather himself, and then he gazed at you. His eyes were red and squinted, tears were running down his face, and his skin was pale white. “Hi…” You greeted reassuringly once his eyes came up to yours. 

Adam choked lamely, unable to speak. It broke your heart. “I love you,” he mustered, his voice wavering. 

You felt something crack inside of you. Having your groom-to-be look at you like he would never see you again and tell you that he loved you, was so touching, but also horrible. You didn’t like seeing him look at you like that, but his words were so sweet, you almost started crying as well. 

You knew you had to be strong for Adam though. Crying wasn’t going to make him feel better. You frowned sadly at him. “Awe… I love you, too, Adam.”

“Why?” Adam asked unhappily. 

“ ‘Why’?” You repeated, shocked. “Why is space infinite? I don’t know, I just do. You’re my best friend.”

“But how?” Faulkner tilted his head at you, searching your eyes for some kind of answer. “What did I do for you? I’m just the pathetic, mentally-unstable, person in the friend group.”

You blew out a saddened breath, your chest falling in on itself. Ouch. 

“You’re so much more than that, baby,” you insisted. “You work so hard at your job. You’re so passionate about it. And you love taking care of people… Especially me,” you winked at him. 

Adam shook his head and coughed on another sob. “I’m not as good as you think,” he grumbled. 

You leaned your head down to his ear. “How so? Explain to me, how so?” 

Adam grabbed your shoulders tighter. “I’m… I’m…” Your fiancé had to think for a moment. “I’m a mess, Y/N. I’m so stuck in the past. I can’t even walk into the bathroom at night without turning the lights on. I should be better for you.”

“No,” you whispered emphatically, and pulled your head back to look at him, insistence shining in your (e/c) eyes. “You don’t need to be better. I don’t need you to be like that at all! You’ve been through something terribly traumatic. There’s nothing you CAN do. It’s okay to feel weak, Adam. You’re okay. I love you so much.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You sighed. “And cars shouldn’t pollute the atmosphere, but that hasn’t changed. So, why will I?” You responded wittily, then added more seriously.  “I DO love you. HAVE, loved you. WILL love you. You can’t make me change my mind. I know who you are on the inside, and I know that it’s hard for you to accept that you’re worth my time, but that won’t make me love you any less. One day you will get it.”

“I’m sorry…”

“None of this is your fault.”

Adam glared at you. “I NEED to be better. YOU need me to be better. I’m useless with what I’m doing right now. I can’t believe I thought going back to photography was going to be enough.”

You grasped Adam’s cheeks in your hands. “YOU are all I need. That’s it. You. I don’t care about anything else. And don’t you realize what going back to photography has done for you? It’s something, baby; you can’t blame this on that. If it weren’t for the photography, you wouldn’t be HERE. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but it’s doing so much more than you even realize. I can see it. You can’t see it yet, but I can. And I’m so proud of you.”

Adam Stanheight was stunned by your speech. He stared at you in amazement, like you’d just grown wings and learned to fly. A shockwave of emotions came crashing over him. An avalanche of feelings just so supreme to anything else it unleashed another rain storm of tears. Faulkner hugged you, pushing his head into your other shoulder. Pretty soon both your sleeves would be wet. 

You bit your lower lip. “I love you, Adam,” you breathed out desperately. “You’re so good, already. I love you.”

Adam leaned back in the chair and nodded. “I love you, too.”

You smiled contentedly. “Alright. You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Adam told you sadly.

You combed your hand through his hair and trailed it down his face. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good today.”

“Mmmh,” Adam grunted and leaned his cheek into your palm, a miserable expression on his face. 

“Lemme grab my friends, okay?”

Adam glanced at you worriedly. “Alright.”

“I’ll be back.”

Adam nodded, and you stepped out of the car. You turned around speedily, coming face to face with both of your friends. You stumbled back hesitantly, eyes wide. They were watching you awkwardly. “Um… We didn’t want to interrupt,” one of the friends said.

“Oh, you heard that?” You asked.

“Why don’t we just head home?” The other friend suggested. 

“Right…” you remained standing there for a little bit, until one of your friends opened the back car door. They both slid inside nervously, and you entered through the passenger’s side. 

“We’re all ready, I think, Adam,” you informed him. Your fiancé fumbled with the keys numbly, as he started the drive back towards your apartments. 

The radio started playing, making you jump. You let your head fall back against the headrest, you closed your eyes, and rolled the window down slightly. The cool air blew into your face and hair, and did somewhat soothe you. 

“-An unforgivable tragedy. 

The answer isn’t where you think you’d find it.

Prepare yourself for the reckoning, for when your world seems to crumble again.”

Subconsciously, you tapped your foot to the beat, which was heavy and strong. The car jerked wildly to the right, then straightened out.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t turn away.

You’re the one who can redefine it.”

There was some more wobbling of the car. 

“Don’t let hope become a memory.

Let the shadow permeate your mind, and reveal the thoughts that were tucked away, so that the door can be opened again.”

There was a whimper from somewhere next to you, and you were thrown to the left roughly. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was a windy road.

“Within your darkest memories, lies the answer if you dare to find it.

Don’t let hope become a memory.

When you think all is forsaken, 

Listen to me now.

All’s not forsaken.

You need never feel broken again.

Sometimes darkness can show you the light.”

You were shoved so far to the right, your head banged the glass window. You opened your eyes then, and looked at the driver. Adam was trying to keep his eyes on the road while miserably trying not to cry. His face was strained with the effort and his hands were planted so tightly on the wheel that they were white. 

“You need strengthening, toughening.

It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you.

Ignite the fire within you.”

Adam struggled to get the car back into the lane. Cars were coming at you from the opposite direction. In a panic you slammed your hands on the wheel, wrenching Adam away from it entirely. “Stop!” You yelled. “Brake! Brake!” 

Adam was petrified to the chair. He watched in horror as your friends screamed in the backseat. You jerked the wheel back to the right, just narrowly missing a passing car. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as the car slowly started to comply with your demands. Adam still hadn’t found the mental state to press one the brakes, or at least hit the hazard lights. You were all on your own.

Three more cars streaked past you. You tried not to flinch. “ADAM!” You wailed. “ADAM! Help me!” You could feel the car drift over on to the correct side again. “Brake! Adam!” The car was steadily increasing in speed. You tried to keep your eyes on the road and not on the speedometer. Fifty, fifty one, fifty two - road. Fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty, sixt one - road. 

There was a loud slap from right next to you, and a large gust of wind. Your friend was shrieking profanities at your frightened fiancé. They had slapped him in an attempt to wake him from his stupor. 

Adam flinched, finally tearing his gaze away from the windshield. He hit the brakes with full force. The car skidded, sliding fifty feet in its wake, and screaming all the way down. Faulkner was crying at this point, as would anyone. The song had changed and was playing Can’t Buy Me Love - by the Beatles. You flicked your fingers onto the dashboard, silencing the car stereo once and for all. 

You looked up at Adam, who was bright red, and sobbing quietly to himself. He looked mortified. Gazing back at the two others in the car, you asked, “Everyone alright back there?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you, Adam?” You turned back to him.

Adam had gone completely white in the face. He was shaking and shuddering. His hands were trembling, and his lips were bleeding from his biting. Your heart shattered, and you leaned over and kissed him. Your mouth was filled with the flavor of iron. “You okay?” You asked him. 

Adam couldn’t talk. He only gaped at you in terror. You hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”

“What happened!?” Someone yelled from the back. 

Adam whimpered. He choked and gagged, before he could finally speak. When he did, he could only whisper very quietly. You were the only one that could hear his response. “I was… just…” Deep breath in. “I was just…” Deep breath out. “I was just trying… The song made me think about you…”

Your mouth fell open. “Oh… Come here.”

“I tried not to… but it made me feel like… I was valid again… You know, that feeling when you’re drowning, but instead of dying your breathing… It was like that… And I lost control of the car… I’m such a fucking idiot.”

You hugged Adam. “No. No, you’re not. It’s okay. Accidents happen.”

“I almost got you killed! I almost got us all killed! How did I even pass my driver’s test?”

“Shh. That was a long time ago. You passed because you know what you’re doing.”

“Are you sure about that last part!?” One of your friends chimed in. 

You cast them a glare from over your shoulder. “Let’s just take a break from driving for a little bit,” you said worriedly. 

Adam started to undo his seatbelt immediately. He was shaking incredibly. 

“Why don’t you let me drive?” You asked. 

Adam struggled to crawl over you but you both managed to switch places without getting out of the car. It was a miracle, for sure. You started up the car, your two friends exchanging disbelieving looks with each other, and headed back towards home, Adam a total mess of a breakdown right now.  This time, the radio remained off for the rest of the car ride, and everyone made it home unharmed. The same could not be said for Adam, though. Your poor fiancé ended up blaming himself for the mistake; he would not allow himself into the driver’s seat again for the next twelve months. 

Well, there was a work in progress. But you still loved him, and that would never change. Try telling HIM that, though.  

Memory - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this was inspired by Taylor Swift's song 'Red'

.

You picked up the newspaper. It was wrinkled and cold, and aged to fit the part. You still couldn’t believe it had been so long since the accident. You still felt empty sometimes, but now that it was over, it was a little bit more manageable. Jigsaw had been arrested this time, finally. At least, that’s what it said three years ago, perhaps it wasn’t still true.

As you looked at the picture on the front page, you felt cold chills surge up inside you. It was a picture of Adam Faulkner Stanheight, in one of his more casual looks. He was smiling awkwardly, looking at the camera reluctantly, almost like he didn’t want his picture taken. You had taken it, and you remembered that moment vividly.

You had accompanied him to one of his client’s places. You had attended just for fun, despite having no real purpose being there. Adam was glad you were there, though. You both had a bunch of fun, messing around with the camera, laughing and taking selfies. Of course, this was after Adam’s photoshoot of his client. You had felt so happy, so refreshed then.

Adam had dared you to take a good picture of him. He had given you the camera, but he didn’t believe you could do it. You waited for a long time, never once keeping your eyes off your boyfriend, just waiting for the right time. You made a couple of jokes, and off-handed comments, trying to distract Adam from you.

“You can’t get me by surprise,” Adam said. “I’m too wary…”

“I don’t know about that,” you replied.

Adam raised an eyebrow at you. But little did he know, you had already outsmarted him. “Are you gonna have a smoke?”

“What?” He wondered. “I didn’t bring any cigarettes with me-”

“Are you sure about that? You know I always keep a few on me… Just for YOU.” You reached into your back pocket and held out a cigarette.

Adam eyed it distrustfully and then said, “Why… Why do you WANT me to take it? This is unlike you…”

“Well… Can you say no to this?”

Adam took it from you. “Not if you push it into my face… It’s a good thing I always keep a lighter on me for scenarios like these.”

You smirked. “Of course I do. Go on. I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Adam tilted his head at you. “What the hell? Why are you so eager for me to start smoking? This isn’t something normal.”

“No,” you assured him. “You just… look really hot when you're smoking…”

Adam laughed, and you raised the camera.

Snap!

One single picture of your beautiful boyfriend. He looked embarrassed to realize your words. “Oh, you don’t mean that…”

“Yes, I do,” you whispered. “I got a picture of you. It looks really good, baby.”

Adam grimaced, and nearly dropped his lighter. “You can’t be serious! There’s no way you got a photo. I look disgusting!”

You shook your head. “No, you don’t.”

“I love you,” you whispered the next part in real life, as you came out of your flashback.

“ ‘I love you, too,’ he said.”

The newspaper in your hands was claiming the tragic death of your beloved boyfriend, giving the grim details of Jigsaw’s game.

That moment in the client’s backyard came flooding you again. You could hear Adam’s voice in your ears loudly. “I love you, too.”

Fuck…

His hands traveled down your jaw, his eyes shining. He had pinned you to the grass after you took the picture. “Who gives a damn about the cigarette at this point? You’re looking so fuckable right now.”

You squeaked, and laughed. “No. You’re just saying that.”

“Show me the picture.”

“Okay.” You fumbled with the camera before flipping through its contents and selecting the last one. You held it up for Adam to see.

He looked at it halfheartedly. “Well, I guess I don’t look like a mess in that one. But… I still look stupid.”

You cupped his cheek. “What? No, you don’t! Of course you don’t! Come on, when will you see yourself the way I see you? You’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful!”

“ ‘Hardly’.” Your voice echoed around the apartment, and you sighed sadly.

Where are you, Adam? I miss you. It’s getting lonely in here.

You put the newspaper on the counter again, Adam’s secondhand smoke filling your nose and his touch corrupting your nerves. You were pulled back into the memory.

“Adam,” you grumbled unhappily, feeling your boyfriend’s breath on your neck. “Stop being so negative about yourself. You’re better than that!”

“Fine, for now.” Adam shrugged, and then started kissing you roughly on your skin.

You groaned and leaned your head back. His lips traveled down to your collar bones, and you let him have his way with you. It felt so good. “Oh, baby…”

“Hm? Like that? Good thing we’re here all by ourselves…” He glanced over at his client, who gagged, and pointed to the driveway. He was trying to indicate that, if they were gonna fuck, they were gonna have to leave. “Alright. Maybe not,” Adam added and sat up.

Your cheeks were hot and flushed, you could barely breathe. “O-Okay… Yeah, let’s leave… I… Want you now…”

Adam gathered himself up. “Sure thing, princess/prince.”

You cringed. “Don’t call me that.”

Adam smirked. “My princess/prince.”

You dashed across the yard. “Catch me!”

The flashback ended suddenly as you felt strong arms wrap around you. That familiar tangy scent wreathed around you enticingly. You melted into the embrace. “ ‘Easy. I’m faster than you anyway’...”

That was the response he gave you that day.

“Adam!” You flung yourself around and hugged him tightly.

Your boyfriend, fiance now, was smiling down at you smugly. “What? Thinking about me?”

You blushed and looked down. “Uh… Y-Yeah… I was…”

Faulkner noticed the newspaper on the counter, and he took it in his fingers gently. “What’s this doing still around?” He threw it in the basin. “You know Jigsaw’s in jail for what he did.”

You couldn’t meet your lover’s eyes. Self consciously, you mumbled, “I… know… but you weren’t here, and this is such a good picture of you. That’s why I gave it to the press all those years ago.”

Adam went rummaging through the pile of magazines. “Well, why don’t you use THIS one?” He threw you another newspaper.

The front page was splashed with the same picture of him, and the headline read:

‘Missing Adam Stanheight Still Alive?’

You gravely admitted, “That one was closer.” You looked into the basin.

“ ‘Stanheight says ‘the police were outside already when my cellmate got out. He was able to alert them to my presence.’ It was a miracle he got out, but what has he been doing this whole time’?” Adam was reading a clip from the newspaper.

“I can’t believe the police tracked your phones through all that. I mean, that one brilliant officer who thought to look BEHIND Jigsaw’s hideout, must be rich.”

“I’m glad they did, though. I woulda been dead meat.”

"And afterwards you just stayed with me to recover."

"I didn't forget."

You pulled Adam down. “I’m so sorry. Please cuddle me.”

Adam straddled you. “Anything for my sweet princess/prince.”

You wriggled. “Why do you still call me that?”

“Because that’s what you are. My royal highness.”

“Oh, stop exaggerating!”

“Hey, I learned to love myself, now it's your turn!”

You beamed at him. “Okay. I am your highness...” The words felt strange to say, and you shuddered at them.

“Better.”

"But that means you're my Survivor," you said cheesily.

"Fine by me." Adam started kissing you on the lips, and you moaned into him.

“I love you,” you whispered.

Adam’s eyes flicked down your body. “Oooh, I love my baby more than they can imagine.”

Chills ran up your spine, and you put your head on his chest. Adam hugged you close, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, and making you feel good. This was what you needed. Oh yes, this was what you DEFINITELY needed.

Finally… You’re home…