I Saw A Post (maybe From @broosepayne ????) About How Clark, As A Kryptonian With A Different Evolution

I saw a post (maybe from @broosepayne ????) about how Clark, as a Kryptonian with a different evolution than humans, would be scared of different animals than humans (like, maybe he's terrified of goldfish and sheep or something)

But like, what if the inverse is true? Like, he finds some animals as naturally cute as we would find kittens. One of those animals is the bat.

Everytime Clark sees Batman, he has to resist the urge to squeeze him to death (you know, like cuteness aggression) As someone with super strength, this is a big issue.

(Bruce eventually has conceded to allowing his bf hug him 24/7 just to mitigate the cuteness aggression and prevent Clark from accidently squeezing him to death (how embarrassing would it be to die because he was too cute? Bruce cannot allow this))

Awww, der Kreecher kriecht in seine Kinder! Er liebt sie!

Some bat creacher and kids doodls i did on the plane

reblog to put a weighted blanket on the person u reblog this from

The rest of the Justice League: I am fighting this fairly serious villain. He wants money and power. I must stop him and his conventionally armed goons.

Batman, stone faced: I am fighting Jellyfish-Gal and Wobbly Gang. They want to turn all of Gotham into jelly-based aquatic life and force the mayor to fund their biweekly tap dancing lessons. I must stop the Wobbly Gang from using their squid launchers to incapacitate people and take them for experimentation.

Bruce Wayne, the world's greatest detective, seeing a picture of a man he thinks he recognizes: *draws a red smiley face on the picture* Gasp! Joker!

So, woman!Bruce Wayne au (this is mostly me writing background so pardon the info dump)

Her name is Burnadine. (Bruce means willow-lands and Burnadine means willow-lands or 'brave as a bear' and both are fitting)

Burnadine and Bruce don't have many differences, both losing their parents at a young age and going into crime fighting.

However, Burnadine, as a young woman in a male-dominates field, doesn't have the luxury of being ditzy and having a play-girl persona. She is known as a cunning and ruthless businesswoman to her competitors and to the rest of Gotham she is known for her well-thought-out social programs and philanthropy.

Her more component public persona doesn't prevent her from being Gotham royalty. She's adored by the regular members of Gotham society and the socialites flock to her in an attempt to make them more likeable to everyday people (it doesn't often work).

While she doesn't have a play-boy reputation like Bruce, she sleeps around just as often, much to the consternation of her children (especially Jason and Damian, who, although they greatly respect their mother, where raised in a more patriarchal setting than their other siblings).

I can't decide if Talia would be the only other person genderbent in this Au or if Ra's is Damian's father (or maybe the League's synthetic wombs can use the DNA of two women and somehow get a boy???) If Burnadine was the one to carry Damian, there would obviously need to be an arc of Damian being taken by the League but I couldn't make it long or have Burnadine think he was dead (it would be too sad). So maybe the League has him for like 2-3 years and maybe he's a bit older when he's taken.

Burnadine adopted Dick when he was 10 and she was 22. Immediately newspapers start printing stuff like "Bernadine Wayne Accepts a Domestic Role" "Wayne Heiress Learns her Place" "Is this the end of Business Tycoon Burnie Wayne?" Burnadine immediately takes over a company dumping toxins in Gotham bay and dispels all rumors (even as she goes to events in matching mommy and me outfits with Dick)

Jason's adoption and events surrounding it remain rather the same. However, Jason is much more trusting of mother figures than father figures and is more willing to open up to Burnadine. Ethiopia doesn't happen (I've killed Jason in several posts and in even more drafts. I will let him rest in this Au). Dick is 16 when Jason is adopted and warms up to him quicker than in canon (because he's already used to one baby brother and Burnadine hasn't fired him from Robin (and won't, she knows how it feels want something different than what people want of her).

Jason, who has begun to be Robin beside Batman and the new vigilante, Nightwing, recognizes the stalker who follows them most night from Gotham Academy. Tim is a few years younger and comes from new money. After being assured that Tim's not creeping after Jason's mom and realizing that the kid knows their identities, Jason takes him home. (Burnadine hasn't been able to officially adopt him yet but is working on forming a criminal child neglect case in the Drake's)

The next year is almost perfect until Damian, Burnadine's little baby, is taken by the League. Apparently, Ra's wants his little heir back. It takes Batman and the Bat boys (which is now Nightwing, Robin Hood, after Jason's favorite literature hero and using the skill he learned from Roy Harper, and Robin) two years but they get Damian back. Damian is quieter and prone to bursts of violence (and more protective of his mother) than he used to be. He attachment issues that are being addressed in therapy and temporarily fixed by literally never being without family. (They all sleep in Burnadine's overly big bed because of her paranoia and to help Damian's anxiety).

(I'm not going to add any of the bat kids rn or they'll join during the actual story)

The majority of the story is focused on the Bat fam and their moving on from what happened (some slice of life, Dick became a Gotham police officer, Jason is starting Gotham University for literature, Tim has a crush on his best friend who's dad may or may not be trying to date his adopted mom, and Damian is Burnadine's koala. Burnadine is also dealing with league shenanigans and dating this nice reporter fellow who reminds her of a friend). Have the overarching connecting plot be about Ra's needing Damian actually as like a sacrifice to Darkseid or something similar.

Burnadine becomes Batman - 20 years old

Burnadine adopts 10 year old dick - 22 years old

Burnadine has Damian - 26 years old

Burnadine adopts 12 year old Jason - 28 years old

Burnadine takes in Tim (13) - 31 years old

Burnadine loses Damian (6) to League - 32 years old

Burnadine gets Damian (8) back - 34 years old

Have bulk of story with Bernadine (34), Dick (22), Jason (18), Tim (16), and Damian (8)