If You Let Me Love You...

If you let me love you...

If you let me love you

I would love you like how the sun leaves lipstick stains on your skin

Like how the moon trails your shadow and laughter

Like how fireflies emerge from your fallen tear drops

And the wind dances until it makes you blush pink

I would love you like how the rain washes the day clean off your skin so you can breathe again

I would love you the way nature intended you to be loved

The way you have forgotten you deserved to be loved

If you let me love you

Stopped glancing away

And dancing around conversations

And walking past me

If you looked at me

Let me look at you

Let me love you

I would tell you of how when you smile I can trace constellations in the spaces between your teeth

That when you open your eyes I can drown in galaxies that exist there

Pinpoint a pollen sized planet and make home there

Cease existing everytime you blink for a momentary eternity

I will trace the fractured lines of your heart on your soft palms and callused fingertips

If you let me love you

I will love you the right way

Which is to say that if you let me love you

I will let you love me too

Because sometimes the only reason you let someone in

Is so they will do the same for you

When the shooting star is gone and the night is dark again, all you have left to hold on to is the faith that your wish was heard

~Excuses for missing you

A softer stage of heartbreak

this stage of heartbreak is softer than i remember. which is to say i have run out of tears weeks earlier than usual. the fits of sorrow more violent this time around. sob sessions on weekend mornings missing you. fighting the urge to call. panic attacks in locked bathroom stalls because hadent you promised?

but it is over now. and the edges of my broken heart are softer. less jagged. not shattered just, broken.

i can catch your eye without having my heart skip a beat. but sometimes i think that when we lock eyes that that beat of my heart belongs to you. for only a moment. before i smile quickly, glance away.

did you know i can do that now? look away. walk away. i can walk away and not look back. have my thoughts drift away from you by the time i turn the corner...most of the time.

your voice and name do not evoke summer sautls from my stomach. instead fond memories dipped in regret and baby blue sadness.

i still wish on eyelashes for you though. but sometimes i wish for myself now too. sometimes i wish just to be happy. and sometimes when i wish this i do not even think of you.

And perhaps the only beautiful thing left in this life is the way a heart is broken. The way it refuses to let light pass through it peacefully any longer. Refuses to be looked past anymore. The way it fractures. Cracks. Shatters. The way it becomes a broken glass mosaic. The way the light now refrects off it and blinds every eye. Intices every hand to come closer and run fingers along its jagged and scared surface. Watch the dripping blood stain the broken heart sea glass red. See the light, enjoying every moment it dances with the shattered glass, and the shards of the heart, they learn to love it too.

~ Why people fall in love with heartbreak~ T.R.

I broke a heart once. Twice. A few times. It is not what one might expect. Because I assure you every promise I have broken hurt me as much as it did you. Every night you cried yourself to sleep I was granted no such relief. I laid awake in bed, tossing and turning. Feeling the fragments of your heart sprinkled and caught in the bedsheets. They cut me every time I moved, breathed, blinked. Raging a million paper cut wound revenges. And I, bled out into the blankets without resistance. Thinking maybe you could use this blood sacrifice like glue. But you have never been the blood thirsty type.

~I never thought I would break a heart

To be a writer

Is to watch

Ink splatter like blood

& People scatter like shrapnel

To know that

Pencils are prayers

Pens are promises

& that poetry books

Are filled

With dying flowers

& wilting words