Tw: Sexual Assault Mentioned, Trauma/ptsd, I Think That's It? All Of This Is Pretty Much Just Past Life,
Tw: sexual assault mentioned, trauma/ptsd, I think that's it? All of this is pretty much just past life, and it's not explicit, just mentioned by name.
Anyone else who experienced trauma in a past life that they haven't experienced in your current life, how do you deal with it?
I haven't ever been SAed in this life but I am pretty sure that I was at least once in a past life [maybe multiple past lifes, Zuki is the one that I am meaning rn]. And I have no real idea of how to go about dealing with this.
I feel shitty cause, like I've said, I have never been through that in this life, but it still affects me about as much as if I had. And I don't really know how to talk about this shit with people cause idk how they would react, even those that support and love me as I am [alterhuman/nonhuman stuff included] but having trauma from my past life that I haven't experienced here is kinda different.
Idk, I just want to know if anyone has any advice or anything for this situation.
Sorry for this type of post, I try not to bring too much stuff like this into my account, but I feel like I need to. I'll try and keep my posts more light-hearted or, at least of course, give trigger warnings or content warnings when they're not light-hearted.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)
More Posts from Zukishaylupo
Took it. I hope my answers help! :3c
Otherkin, therian, and alterhuman experiences survey
Hello! I'm a college student currently writing an essay defending alterhuman identities, and I would love it if some alterhumans could fill out my survey. there's 25 questions total but only half of them are required answers. It starts with some demographic questions then asks about your personal experiences with alterhumanity.
No matter how you identify, if you identify as non-human in any way then your input matters to me!
Thanks in advance for anyone who takes interest and answers my survey :D
I wanna talk about the terms/identities I use for my alterhuman/nonhuman identities.
Alterhuman: I use this term as an overall and kinda a specific identity. It's like the way I use queer for myself.
Nonhuman: Same as alterhuman but more specific on the fact that I am not human. The only thing "human" about "me" is the body that I am in.
Therian: I haven't really been using this term for a while. No real reason just prefer the 2 mentioned before. I still use the symbol for this though [can't remember what it's called rn]
Otherkin: I think the only things I use from this would be calling them kintypes other than that I don't use this term. No real reason other than alterhuman and nonhuman feel better to me.
Fictionkin/Ockin: Putting these together cause all I have are ockins so far. I do use these terms but not as often as the first 2 terms/identities.
I can't think of any other terms or identities I use at this point, will update this post if I think of anymore. I'll probably try and make it clear what is the original and what would be an update.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)
[Trying out it/its pronouns, this is the best place for me to do it. Cause I don't want it to be in a negative way, I want it to be positive, and I feel like here is the best place for that.]
I'm gonna talk about something that's not kin [alterhuman or nonhuman] related real quick.
My account is not really gonna be a place for a lot of donation asks, I am sorry, but I don't have the time or energy to really check each ask to make sure it's real or anything. I didn't do this for any of the previous ones I uploaded, so bare that in mind when you see them.
I probably won't upload any more asks about donations, once again I am really sorry but it's just not something I can check up on in a way that makes it feel like I wouldn't be maybe helping people get away with lying. I am not saying any of the ones I uploaded or that I've been getting are lies, cause I don't know and that's why I am not answering/uploading posts with any of these asks.
I hope everyone understands where I am coming from and if they need help, I hope they get the help they need.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe)
Edit Oct 8th: I am gonna be deleting the posts I have posted of the donation asks cause I keep getting anxiety about how they might not be genuine and shit but idk if they are or not, I just know that if I don't delete them my brain is saying bad things will happen so yeah. Sorry for those that sent the asks that I posted but I am deleting the posts.
Been thinking about my life as Zuki a lot lately, so I'm gonna share some more shit about it. This is gonna be a long ass post, lol.
Class 1A was really close in my canon. We were a family [I would use the word pack]. There were 21 of us originally (everyone from the "actual" canon minus Mınət@ who didn't exist as far as I know, lol, and me and one other noncanon 'character' who's name is Hikari Kubo-Mori).
More stuff about how I got along with some other Class 1A students below
A bit after the dorms became a thing, Hitoshi Shinso joined our class. Now, I was always a bit of a 'nerd' when it came to quirks, lol. [Me and Izuku loved to analyze quirks together cause it's very interesting and just awesome to know more about quirks, lol.]
Anyway, I was very into quirk analysis, and Hitoshi's quirk was something that was very interesting and didn't really scare me (guess it comes with having a quirk that scared others and shit). So Hitoshi and I became friends pretty quick after they joined Class 1A cause I was also way more 'into' making friends at that point, lol. [I was also a part of the "I didn't come to make friends" club at first, lol]. Then, a bit later, I got adopted by Aizawa and Present Mic, who had adopted Hitoshi before me, so we became siblings.
I don't know why exactly I brought up Hitoshi first, besides the fact that he's my brother. But I'm gonna be moving on to others now.
Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku Midoriya, and I were all childhood friends. We were actually pretty close before Bakugo got his quirk, I got mine, and Izuku didn't get a quirk. [I'm not really going to go into the whole thing. Just know that for a while, none of us were really friends].
I re-became friends with Izuku at the end of our last middle school year (reminder that in my canon UA was a college type thing). Shit had happened before that made me realize shit. [I was never a bully, but I also never stood up for Izuku like I should've, I had my "reasons," but idc they were kinda dumb and shit but I was a dumb pup at the time].
A bit after the dorms happened, Bakugo found me on the roof of the dorms [don't go there, I liked it cause it was quiet and I could feel the wind on my wings and shit] and asked me a few questions that kinda suprised me at first. The main thing was asking about how it's like with a service dog, how to get over the feeling of not being good enough cause of needing a dog to help, how to deal with others when it comes to service dogs, and stuff like that. Turns out that in a session with Hound Dog, a service dog was suggested to Bakugo because of the training camp and everything. I told him the truth that I still had difficulty with all of the things that having a service dog brings/causes but that I loved Remo so much and was greatful to him. Me and Kats became friends again after that (I called him Kats because when I was younger [and could speak, so I was at least 7], I had trouble with his name so I called him Kats instead).
If you notice, I use both Bakugo and Kats for him, and that's cause I did then as well, lol.
Me and the rest of the Dekusquad that I haven't mentioned already [who I have mentioned already is just Izuku and Hitoshi].
The Dekusquad was mainly known to be: me, Midoriya Izuku/Deku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Asui Tsuyu/Tsu, Kubo-Mori Hikari, and Shinso Hitoshi [last names then first names]. Though we also had Yaoyorozu Momo, Tokoyami Fumikage, and Aoyama Yuga.
Some people I use last names more and some I use first names more. It's mainly based on how close I was to them specifically and which is easier for me. Like with Momo, it's easier with her first name than her last name, lol. But it's easier for me to use Tokoyami rather than their first name.
Now, with the Bakusquad, lol.
The Bakusquad was: Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, and Jirou Kyouka.
I already talked about Kats. So, with the rest of the Bakusquad, I was pretty close with all of them. I was not as close to Sero, not for any reason, I just didn't hang with him a lot.
Despite being close to Jirou, I tend to use her last name cause it's easier for me, lol. Same with Kiri.
Mina and Denki were the first of the Bakusquad to give me permission to use their first names, which is what I mainly use for them.
It terms of the overall class [not including Izuku and Bakugo ofc], the first one to give permission for their first name/a nickname to be used to me was actually Hikari, the second is ofc Tsu.
There are definitely people I didn't mention here. It's not cause of any reason, I've just already gone on for a while, so this is it for this post for now. I'll probably reblog if I want to add anything later, lol.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx)
I have been really going through it with bad memories from my life as Zuki lately, lol.
So, instead, I wanna share some good memories I have so I can balance out the bad.
Since I was like an older sibling to Izuku, I would let him help me preen my wings and shit, which is a thing for mostly family [and mates]. He was one of the only ones that I allowed to do this for a long time. Eventually, others from Class 1A got added to the list of people who were allowed to even touch my wings, let alone preen them. Hikari, my queer platonic partner, was the second person who I allowed to preen my wings [of my class], we may not have been romantic, but they were still my mate. Hitoshi was the third cause he was my little brother, legally this time, lol. Toshi was the least likely to ask to preen my wings though, even after getting permission to ask, I would usually have to ask him if he wanted to help for him to feel like he could, lol [it did come from his trauma though so it's ok, love you bro]. I allowed Denki to touch my wings and tail cause it would help with his ADHD sometimes, which mood I would play with my own tail to help my ADHD, lol. There are others, but these are the ones I feel like sharing rn.
Bro, I remember hanging out with the "girls" [I use quotes cause not everyone identified as a girl/woman]. We would have "girl's night," which once again not everyone identified with that gender but it's pretty much what we would call it, lol. It was fun. We would paint each other's nails. The ones who knew makeup and shit would help those who wanted to learn. And we would just talk about shit. I miss these "girl's nights" so much.
I miss the game nights we would have as a whole class. We had to ban some games cause of how people got, lol. Monopoly was the first one to be banned, lol. We would play Uno the most, even though people got very competitive [*cough* Bakugo and me mainly *cough*]. We also had to ban truth or dare, and I will not be explaining why, I think it's obvious why. Would you rather and never have I ever were allowed though, lol.
Dadzawa and Papamic would take me, Eri, and Toshi to do fun activities, such as arts and crafts, go trick or treating, and other fun shit, lol. I would usually end up carrying Eri at some point cause she loved to be carried, and it helped with my protective instincts, lol. I would usually wrap my wings around her while holding her, and she loved it. If someone who is good at art would draw that for me, I would love it [I don't have money rn so I'm not gonna commission anyone right now, but I might when I get enough money, lol].
I would never have described myself as good with kids, and I would say that I wasn't a lot. My friends and family tended to disagree with me there. They would bring up how good I was with Eri, Kota, and a kid who is not canon. But I would bring up in response that they were all traumatized kids that I latched onto in a sibling way mainly but also cause I saw bits of myself in them and didn't want them to not have someone. Other kids I was definitely not good with. I would say I'm not really good with kids in this life, even though at the church I am forced to go to, I help with the kids, lol. Kids are kinda weird.
I remember Remo, my service dog, and despite the fact that I had been so fucking upset that I needed another being/creature with me to function, I loved him. I remember when I would have him off duty and use my quirk to become a little wolfdog with wings spirit thing and play with him, lol. I also used that to play with Hikari, whose quirk let them become certain animals, lol. It was very fun to do these things and I miss being able to do that.
I really miss everyone. I miss my life as Zuki. I miss my pack. I miss my wings. I miss my tail. I miss my ears. I miss my sharp teeth. I miss my claws. I miss being Zuki physically.
- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe)