Abuse Cw - Tumblr Posts

“I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse. I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem. Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to. And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe. I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.”

—

Curious Georgiana (via grrrlstudies)

I know I’ve reblogged this before, but it bears re-reblogging (?).  This is how you respond to abuse, this is how you give people control over their bodies/uteruses, this is how you act as a generally non-judgmental and compassionate person.  I love this story so fucking much.

(via coffeewithants)

I read Lolita today (I'd listened to a podcast discussing the book and its background and adaptations and impacts and it was interesting so I actually wanted to read the damn thing for myself)

and holy fuck I've never wanted to hurt a fictional character so much. Holy fuck. Genuinly cried because its just so fucking awful and I just wanted Dolores to get to be happy :(

So doing a page search of the brick for “ingrate” and “ungrateful” is absolutely fucking heartbreaking?

Because the majority of uses are either 1) Gillenormand using it about Marius 2) Marius using it on himself.

Which means “ingrate” was an abuse word for Marius. It’s what Marius grew up hearing about himself, and it’s the first and worst thing he assumes about his own actions. It’s the reason everything with him is a constant stream of life debts. When he misses his father’s deathbed, when he learns anything about Thenardier, when he discovers he’s wrong about Valjean, it’s all ingrate, ingrate, ingrate.

A smattering:

Marius on his father:

“My father,” retorted Marius, with downcast eyes and a severe air, “was a humble and heroic man, who served the Republic and France gloriously, who was great in the greatest history that men have ever made, who lived in the bivouac for a quarter of a century, beneath grape-shot and bullets, in snow and mud by day, beneath rain at night, who captured two flags, who received twenty wounds, who died forgotten and abandoned, and who never committed but one mistake, which was to love too fondly two ingrates, his country and myself.”

Gillenormand:

“Poor Marius, do you say! That gentleman is a knave, a wretched scoundrel, a vain little ingrate, a heartless, soulless, haughty, and wicked man!”

More Gillenormand:

Absence, as is always the case in genuine and natural sentiments, had only served to augment the grandfather’s love for the ungrateful child, who had gone off like a flash. It is during December nights, when the cold stands at ten degrees, that one thinks oftenest of the son.

and Marius on Valjean:

“Cosette, what has he done with himself? He has sacrificed himself. Behold the man. And he says to me the ingrate, to me the forgetful, to me the pitiless, to me the guilty one: Thanks! Cosette, my whole life passed at the feet of this man would be too little.”

Later, when Marius is gaslighting Cosette, he uses it on her to distract her from Valjean, mimicking the way Gillenormand must have treated him:

“We said that we would go back to take a look at our garden in the Rue Plumet. Let us go thither. We must not be ungrateful.”

And so, Marius giving Thenardier the money–arguably the absolute worst thing that happens in the text of this book–is the direct result of Gillenormand’s emotional abuse.

Been reading more into the BNHA tags and I’m truly disappointed in this fandom.

People need to stop pretending that bad things happening to you(big or small) or having a mental disorder, excuses literal murder. Stop making Dabi seem like a tragic hero because Endeavor is an abusive asshole who’s being forgiven too easily. Dabi is the one who decided to kill people/doesn’t care who dies on his path to get revenge. Stop pretending all abuse victims are sad pushovers that can do nothing wrong.

People need to stop pretending it’s all Dabi’s fault. These people need to stop pretending that all abuse victims look and behave the same, Dabi is doing this shit because he believes it as the best/only option, not because he’s being a baby about his trauma. Stop blaming abuse victims.

In conclusion, Dabi is a deep and introspective character and y’all need to stop reducing him to a single, one-dimensional quality, either he’s done nothing wrong or he’s done everything wrong. His character goes deeper than that, he’s a product of his environment and he’s lashing out against said environment because the person who abused and traumatized him is getting away with it, the system is set up so certain people will always fail and certain people wil always win. Dabi as a character is a commentary of that.

The original book had a much more positive outlook on the SQUIP (if the ending being Jeremy going to buy the latest version counts as positive), but in the musical context? This is so good.

SQUIP whumper can control every aspect of whumpee’s life. They can make them throw up, block or intensify pain signals, make them completely not see or hear someone who’s right in front of them. They can choose if Whumpee sleeps or not, can even control what chemicals their brain outputs to give them a positive connection to anything the SQUIP does or force them into psychotic breaks.

outing(?) myself here by typing this but SQUIP!whumper thoughts! SQUIP!whumper who makes up excuses to shock their user!whumpee so that even the smallest possible thing is a punishable offense. SQUIP!whumper who isolates user!whumpee from everyone, even family, anyone that could help them ruin their progress. SQUIP!whumper who uses kindness or affection as a manipulation tool since user!whumpee certainly isn't getting that if they've been isolated. SQUIP!whumper who controls user!whumpee's body and forces them to do things, even harmful things, "for their own good". user!whumpee who's constantly on guard, monitoring their own behavior, overcorrecting their "bad behaviors" before they can get hurt. User!whumpee getting shocked despite trying their hardest not to get shocked.

The ensuing battle whumpee’s friends have to go through to get whumpee back to normal, first of all they need to realize that whumpee’s not doing this if their own volition. Then they need to acquire aforementioned Mountain Dew red, get whumpee alone, and force them to drink it.

Which could prove difficult seeing as the SQUIP can take control over the nervous system, and with whumpee’s amnesia, false memories, false positive connection(s), false hatred, and amplified senses, they aren’t going down without a fight.

Not to mention the initial whump of the SQUIP’s activation, I mean Jeremy had some terrible screams when his activated, and if whumpee accidentally got a malfunctioning sadistic one, it could definitely make that process worse..!

outing(?) myself here by typing this but SQUIP!whumper thoughts! SQUIP!whumper who makes up excuses to shock their user!whumpee so that even the smallest possible thing is a punishable offense. SQUIP!whumper who isolates user!whumpee from everyone, even family, anyone that could help them ruin their progress. SQUIP!whumper who uses kindness or affection as a manipulation tool since user!whumpee certainly isn't getting that if they've been isolated. SQUIP!whumper who controls user!whumpee's body and forces them to do things, even harmful things, "for their own good". user!whumpee who's constantly on guard, monitoring their own behavior, overcorrecting their "bad behaviors" before they can get hurt. User!whumpee getting shocked despite trying their hardest not to get shocked.

Things about sibling abuse:

-They tell you it’s childplay or sibling rilvary, nothing serious. They don’t fuckingn understand

-How the fuck are people friends with their siblings?

-It’s such a rare form of abuse, never spoken about, never taken seriously. It’s the most isolating fact of your world

-You feel guilty for valueing friends over family. Or you don’t.

-People tell you you’ll eventually choose family over friends, that “blood is thicker than water”. They can go fuck themselves

-If it’s sexual abuse, it’s subjectively the most shameful way to be touched

-If it’s sexual abuse, you masturbate to porn that mirrors your trauma (incest), or masturbate to the trauma itself. When you’re done, you feel so guilty and dirty that you dissociate.

-If it’s abuse committed by an older sibling, you count years until they move out.

-It quite possibly creates boundary issues where you forgive people on the spot but forever hold resentment toward your sibling(s)

-If it’s emotional or mental/psychological abuse, you feel uneasy even on their days where they’re not being manipulative and whatnot

-If it’s physical abuse, you hide around the house, having panic attacks in every corner

-If it’s physical abuse, you don’t take the “physical discipline” discourse lightly, done by parents to their children. It’s just fucking evil and no one understands

-You fear having friends over. Either because it’s embarrassing to witness, or because they’ll see your sibling(s) acting all nice and sweet, and never believe you. They’ll take their side and befriend them.

-You (might) have the dilemma of wanting people to like your siblings because you know they’re not monsters and that they changed, but you also want people to know what they did and take your side.

-If your sibling has a disorder, your parent probably defends them for it and says that it’s not their fault, even though your abuser’s illness should NEVER excuse what they did/do to you

-You are insulted and disgusted and want to cry when your parents accidentally call you by their name or vice versa. You’re terrified of becoming them/being like them/being compared to them.

Note: The Mammon in question is canon divergent

Naturally, the Manager and Mammon have a power imbalance and Manager is simply a fizzy... he often breaks him to prove a point, or just because he feels like it. He always rebuilds him newer and better every time though.

The Manager is always hiding his side-operations from Mammon, does awful things to the other fizzies behind closed doors, and they're really just two awful people playing a cat-and-mouse game with one another. The fact that the mouse has developed feelings for the feline in question makes this extremely messy... maybe things can change?

Tragedy!

When the feeling's gone and you can't go on

It's tragedy!

With no-one to love you, you're goin' nowhere

-

I can't resist a good Beetlejuice reference ♡

In this verse, every time Mammon tears the Manager to pieces, he has to be put back together again. This is how he stays always so shining new, updated and pristine. Manager can't stand having other fizzies touch him after the events, be they because of a punishment when he's betrayed Mammon's trust (again), or simply because when they make love, he finds Mammon tearing him to pieces to be thrilling and exciting (Mammon really gotta wrack his brain to keep the punishments... punishing, when Manager's this into it).

So he tells them to go away. Shoo. He can do this himself.

Perhaps some aftercare from Mammon himself is in order?

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

Oh no, it all makes sense now.

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

Ahhh, it hurts emotionally so bad - and that's why i love your comics! You have to think about them and can instanzly share empathy with the chars ♡

Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU [set late 70's/early 80's]

---

AU TAG

To read them in order:

[Part 1- Meeting]

[Part 2-Embellish]

[Part 3-Theory]

[Part 4- Number]

[Part 5- Bruise]

[Part 6- Scenic]

[Part 7- Nice Things]

[Part 8-Pizza]

[Part 9- Want]

[Part 10- Tuesday] That's this one!

Some edits to his scar- obviously now it's a tattoo instead. To make it make slightly more sense in this context it includes Cazadors name and a crown symbol often used by traffickers, and it shows above the collar as they often do. I don't think they'd often spend that much on a full back tattoo, but I suppose he is rich, and astarion is special. Not entirely sure it's tasteful of me to go so hard for a game AU, but in for a penny in for a pound.

we're not saying people with npd, aspd, ect cant hurt you or abuse you

we're saying disorder =/= abusive

people with npd, bpd, aspd, infact, ANY cluster b disorder CAN abuse you. HOWEVER, having those disorders dosent instantly make you an abuser

dont be abelist.

people with ANY disorder can abuse you. that dosent mean they WILL abuse you. the fact that they have that disorder dosent mean theyre an abuser. it dosent make them abusive. they can be abusive, that dosent mean suddenly every narcissist is evil, suddenly all aspd people are threatening you, all bpd people are rude and abusive. stop throwing around the word abuse like its nothing. stop specifically linking it to personality disorders. thats blatantly abelist.

ihope all cluster bs have a lovely lovely day please ignore the hate and abelism yall are so gorgeous treat yourself to your comfort food

I'm a bit bored, I should probably work on English class work, but my brain says no, and I have no real control, lol.

Anyways, fictionkin shit, this is gonna be talking about my biological parents as Zuki, so there will be trigger warnings. All of this is just to do with my life as Zuki, I have problems with my parents here, but not as bad.

Tw: hinted at sexual assult not said by name but still, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, child abuse, bullying, scars, burning/fire, and maybe more? Idk if there's anything to add, let me know.

My bio father as Zuki was a horrible abusive asshole. He was not the first guy to get my bio mother pregnant [as my old sibling is my half-sibling from my mom]. He told my mother that if she just had one kid with him, then he would be "happy" (not his actual words but whatever). So I was the kid that came from this "agreement".

But when I actually got the first part[s] of my quirk at the age of 4, which included wings (which came from my sib's bio father pretty much, it's hard to explain exactly), he was fucking pissed but couldn't do anything cause my mother did what he wanted, she had one kid with him (just not the kid he wanted).

At the age of 7, the other part of my quirk came in. Which is/was essentially the ability to "drop" my body and become a "spirit," I guess you could say. It freaked people out, causing a lot of bullying and shit. Anyways, that just made my bio father [I hate calling him that, but whatever] hate me more.

He was always "aggressive" and abusive, I mean, he didn't get physical to me until I was around 5 or so. I also couldn't actually speak until I was at least 7, and then it was about at a like 2 year old level, basically. Anyways, he got physically abusive towards me when I was like 5, but he was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards me.

When I was like 11, my bio father got put into jail cause my old sib got into UA and told Aizawa about him and shit. I was happy that I was "free" from abuse [I wasn't really, but I was at least free from him].

My bio mother had an alcohol problem and would drink a whole lot. She wasn't really ever physically abusive when I was younger. But after my bio father got put in jail, it actually seemed to get worse with her towards me. Idk why exactly, but I believe it had to do with me kinda looking like my bio father and also my bio mother (she definitely had problems with self image and took it out on me).

My old sib didn't see the abusive side of our mother at all. They were the favorite child, they didn't look as much like our mother, I guess. They had seen only the loving side of our mother, which I knew existed but rarely saw when I was alone with her.

I always had a hard time admitting that my mother was abusive and shit. To me, it was deserved cause I was an unwanted pup that she was forced to have and care for. She still wasn't typically physically abusive.

When I was like 12 or 13, my bio mother left me alone in the house. She had slapped me to the ground before fully leaving as I was quietly "screaming" for her to not leave me. My older sib never knew this. As far as they knew, our mother was just really busy with hero work [I forgot to mention that both of my bio parents were heroes]. The only time our mother would be at the house is if I had called or texted her about my old sibling wanting to see her and shit. Then she would come home and act like everything was fine and that she still lived there and took care of me.

That went on until I was like 15, it was my second year in high school [another reminder that UA is a college and I was 18 in my canon]. My bio mother had been in a bad villain attack and was at the hospital and would never do hero work again and would have to be in the hospital for a while (years). After that happened, my old sib ended up becoming my legal guardian and shit.

My old sib was pretty busy with hero work since they were pretty much just starting out with their hero career. They asked Izuku's mom [Auntie Inko as I called her] to look out for me a lot, as she already was, and because me and Izuku were childhood friends who were re-becoming friends again.

Pretty sure if Auntie Inko had the full ability to support another child legally and shit, she would've adopted me. I was not an easy pup to deal with, though. I was very suspicious of her kindness and would fight her [I bit her a few times cause of being fearful and shit, I really regret that and shit]. I was sure that she would abandon me as well one day, of course this never happened [think of the moment in the movie Bolt where Mittens is talking about how "Penny is fake" that was kind of how I was with Izuku and his mom at first].

Anyways, Auntie Inko ended up basically being my parent until I got adopted by Dadzawa and Papamic.

I'm gonna go into a bit more detail, but not too much detail about my bio father's abuse now.

His quirk gave him wolf claws [not necessarily always out, but he kept them out almost all the time] that were able to use some of the elements (fire, water, etc. I guess) to hurt. It's kinda hard to explain rn, but basically, he could have his claws on fire [I use that example cause it was his favorite].

He would use his "fire claws" on me a lot when he wanted to hurt me. He burned me a lot with them, I had so many scars from him doing this a lot. I had one scar across my face that I got from one of those times that I hid with makeup for a long time. Eventually, I gave up hiding it, and when my friends asked about it, I would say it was old, and I just used to cover it up.

His abuse in this way made me very cautious around fire and shit [so yes I was very cautious and scared when Todoroki first started using his fire but I of course never said anything cause I was not about to discourage his use of his fire]. Fur and feathers don't really go with fire anyway, so yeah.

Idk if there's anything else I want to say but at least for right now, this is good. Sorry for 2 vent(?) posts back to back.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)

More bad memories from my life as Zuki. Cause of course my brain hates me.

Tw: abuse, school abuse[? Idk what to call it], muzzles, quirk discrimination, shock collars, bullying, I think that's it for this one?

When I was younger, my bio mother was told to use a muzzle and shock collar that "neutralized" quirks on me. Cause my quirk was "dangerous" and "needed to be controlled." These were supposed to be illegal to use on anyone, even the most dangerous villain. But of course, people didn't listen and used them on those with "evil" or "villain" quirks (especially certain mutant related quirks).

It kinda makes sense that a hero like my bio mother could get one, but what's 'interesting' is that once I got into middle school, some of the teachers also had them. I don't know where they got them, but whatever. My middle school and high school both used the muzzles and shock collars on me.

When I was in middle school, I was still very cautious and shit. I never fought back, I never started a fight, I never did any of that. But yet anytime someone attacked me, I got punished. They would put the muzzle on me saying something about how I was bad and deserved it and the same thing with the shock collar. But 'luckily' the shock collar was less often used.

In high school is when I started fighting back sometimes. It was still usually only if someone else was being hurt [whether physically or verbally]. When it was just me, I would usually not fight back. Sometimes, I did fight back when it was just against me fully, though.

This is all I'm gonna talk about rn.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/he)

Second poem to post.

Tw/cw: abuse but not named. Nothing else I can think of but let me know if you find anymore.

Another canine/dog related poem.

Trying something different with the read more thing being after the title of the poem.

I love like a dog

I love like a dog

Always going back

To people who hurt me

Cause that's what I

Was taught that love is

I love like a dog

Always letting people

I love hurt me

Cause that's what I

Was taught that love is

I love like a dog

Always waiting for

People to hurt me

Cause that's what I

Was taught that love is

I love like a dog

I hurt the people

I love just the same

Cause that's what I

Was taught that love is

5th poem to post. Another dog & wolf related poem, lol. A lot of my poems are canine related cause of me being a canine kin [specifically wolfdog kin].

Tw/cw: biting mention, abuse hinted at(?), and I think that's all. Let me know if you find any tw/cw I didn't add that I need to.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe) [trying something new with my sign off thing on my poem posts]

Roll Over/Growl

I think that

I should roll over

And whine sorry

Over and over again

But instead I growl

I bare my teeth

And snap at you

I bite and growl

I should roll over

I should say sorry

I should be a good dog

A good wolf

But I'm not

I growl and bite

I'm a bad dog

A bad wolf

I should roll over

I growl and snap

I should whine sorry

I bare my teeth and bite

I'm sorry I'm not good

I bite even when

You try to help me

For I'm scared

I'm sorry I'm bad

I growl even when

You're kind for I don't

Know when you'll stop