Absalom - Tumblr Posts

new cryptid man (vampire? lizard man? who knows) and his friend sitting for a photograph

unfortunately his friend did not quite develop

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more of the new sons

"Dirty Secret"

This is a short scene that I was writing for another OP character that I really love. Enter Gecko Moria. Enjoy. NSFW content.

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“Someone took you for a fool, captain”, you turned to look up at your captain Gecko Moria. “From what I can see, these are not some ancient texts that will help you to strengthen your zombies and summons.” - “What do you mean?!” he screeched. “What I have translated so far has NOTHING to do with any zombies, necromancy or anything even related to death.” - “Keep translating!” - “As you wish, captain.”

The more you translated, the more it was obvious that someone sold your captain some very explicit romance books. If the whole situation weren’t so funny you would blush every second sentence you had to translate. But your laughter while translating was not received well. Gecko Moria was basically breathing down your neck to make you hurry up. You could already imagine the absolute meltdown he would have, when he saw what the texts said. At least you were sure there was one person on this ship who would get a kick out of those scripts, Absalom. You were impressed how one could fill a whole book with so much smut and kink, let alone a whole series of books that were still waiting for you to translate them. You just hoped the seller was already far away, otherwise you were sure your captain would tear him to shreds. “What does it say!?” Moria asked impatiently. “I can’t tell you anything more than 5 minutes ago! I need time for this! You can’t expect me to be done with a whole ass book in 30 minutes!”, you spat back. “You should hurry up, then! Maybe your shadow would be faster...” he growled with implied threat. “Don’t pressure me! Do you want to translate it yourself? Let’s see how that goes!” you snapped at him. You could see the anger in his eyes, he was this close to just exploding on you. “How about you go and do something else and I’ll find you the moment the first book is fully translated” , you offered. Moria balled his fists, but then turned around and furiously stomped away, making the supplies on your desk jump in the air. You let out a relieved sigh. Without Moria pacing behind you this was going to go much smoother.

After a few hours the first book was fully translated. The contents were so dirty that you felt like taking a shower to just get that icky feeling off, but you had to find your master first. To your dismay he was not alone when you found him. Dr. Hogback, Absalom and even Perona were with him, they probably just had a small meeting without you, it didn't matter. You went up to him and gave him your notes. Moria scowled at you “Read it to me!” he ordered and handed you your notes back. Suddenly a pit opened in your stomach… you had to read THAT… OUT LOUD? “Do I have to? I believe it would be best if you took a look at it first, before-” - “READ IT!” You took a deep breath “Okay.” The words before your eyes were starting to swim, maybe you had a stroke… no, you were just embarrassed. Oh well, what’s the worst that could happen. “‘You’re such a good sl*t’, he praised her as his d*ck slid in and out of her wet p*ssy. ‘Can you take even more of me?’ he licked two of his fingers suggestively and slid them inside her pink b*tthole…” while you were reading, you could vaguely make out Perona clasping her hands in front of her mouth, and Absalom’s and Hogback’s jaws hitting the floor. It didn’t take long for Perona to run out of the room, but you heard no reaction from the other three men, so you just kept reading. “-hands and legs bound to the bedposts, her legs sprawled out baring her juicy p*ssy. He took it for an invitation and dived right in, slobbering-” - “Enough…” it was said with a low and almost weak tone. “Huh?”, you asked. “I said Enough!” Gecko Moria said louder with shocked annoyance. “Does the whole book contain this… sort of content?” he asked with a hint of defeat in his voice. “Yes. Do you still want me to translate the other works?” - “YES!” Absalom screamed eagerly. Everyone turned to look at him. “I… I mean, p-perhaps the others contain something d-different? And you could never know if the author hasn’t hidden some valuable information deep in these folds-err pages. Pages.” Absalom corrected himself. You looked up at Gecko Moria. He was still looking at Absalom with a slightly disgusted look on his face. When he turned to you he gave you just a small nod and waved his hand to dismiss you.

It took you a few days to be done with all the books. As you had expected every single one of them was filled to the brim with sexual stuff. When you showed Moria he was going through the 5 stages of grief, which amused you to great extent, but you didn’t dare to say that out loud.

Since that fateful day that Moria made you read the naughty texts aloud, Perona didn’t look you in the eyes anymore and tried her best avoiding you. You noticed that from time to time your notes would disappear and reappear. You suspected that it was Absalom, who kept taking your translations. It didn’t matter, since there was no useful information hidden in the pages, just smutty porn. That was until one day you caught Dr. Hogback in his laboratory looking at some papers that seemed familiar. He was so zoned out that he didn’t notice you entering at first. So when you greeted him, he screamed out loud, frantically trying to hide the papers behind his back. Dr. Hogback was very flustered and you couldn’t help but laugh a little at his expense. Nice person that you were, you didn’t address it directly and left shortly after.

The thing that made you do a double take, though, was the stack of papers looking out from underneath your master’s pillow. You had gone with the smaller zombies to wake him up for a nightly hunt, because a ship had gotten caught in the Thriller Bark’s spider net and its crew was running around the premise. It was unmistakably your handwriting on the pages. No way! This was getting out of hand! Now, you had basically ascended to the status of “local porn dealer”.

When he woke up he saw the look in your face. Amused and knowing. When Gecko Moria followed your gaze and saw what you had been looking at he got red in the face. It was like a bucket of cold water was thrown over him. You were suppressing a laugh and turned to leave.

Gecko Moria had the approach of “If I keep quiet, it will go away”. You knew better. The next day when everyone was gathered around the long dining table, you couldn’t keep quiet. You sat next to your captain, so you leaned over and asked him nonchalantly: “Read anything good lately, master Moria?” The food he had just been chewing flew out of his mouth with mach 1 speed and he looked at you with wide and furious eyes. “No? Aww, that’s sad. Maybe I could hook you up with some good stuff. I have recently translated some very interesting books…”, you followed. Perona turned away to face the wall. Absalom started violently coughing and Dr. Hogback was rapidly hitting Absalom’s back, avoiding to look in your and Moria’s direction. You tried so hard to contain the laugh that was threatening to break out of your chest. Moria’s eyes were almost falling out of their sockets by now, fists clenched. “What?! I was just keeping the conversation alive” you said while suppressing the tug you felt on the corners of your mouth. You sensed that Moria was close to ripping you to shreds, so you stood up “If you need any more material for personal research, hit me up. See you later” you said quickly and hastily left the room. You couldn’t hold back anymore. Your loud laughter echoed through the hall as you left. A plate shattered on the wall behind you and you knew it hadn’t been Cindry to throw it, which only made you laugh harder.

You were sure that you were a dead person by now, but Moria kept true to his approach. He didn’t talk about it, he didn’t acknowledge neither the stacks of paper under his pillow nor your stunt at the dinner table. Absalom and Dr. Hogback didn’t say anything either and they kept their distance as well. You knew you were lucky that you were a comrade, or else you would already be a part of the surrounding ecosystem. But that didn’t stop you.

The next time Gecko Moria was frustrated that he had no suitable shadow for his number 900 you were there to ‘help’. “You should really look out for your health, because it’s really not healthy to be that angry all the time”, you said and added “I have recently finished a book that had really promising techniques to relax. You should try some of them. They’re really helpful.” before Moria could shout at you for the unsolicited advice. He looked at you with pent up anger and annoyance. At this point it seemed like he was already waiting for one of your dumb jokes. You decided to go a step further. “You know, we could try some of them together. It works best when you’re not alone. Actually it's perfect when there's two people involved.” You took out a stack of papers from your jacket and waved them around. It took a short moment for him to recognize them, but when he did and understood the implication, he got beet red. This time he tried grabbing ahold of you, but you were expecting it. You ducked and ran away, laughing loudly and freely as him screaming your name furiously echoed behind you.

So... continuing this again. I want to talk about Absalom, the Seven Deadly Sins, Azrael, and maybe some others.

I'm expecting to have trouble with all of these, especially some of the Seven Deadly Sins. The Sins I imagine could vary between Manaless or using resources, more likely to former than the latter. Also, I'm still getting to used to Passives, so not everyone will have one right away.

ABSALOM: He would use "Wrath" like the Horsemen, his fellow Nephilim. His abilities would take some inspiration from his boss fight. His three abilities would be swinging his ax around him in a circular motion, Rooting someone in place temporarily, and for his third ability, I'm thinking maybe a dash. His Ultimate would work similar to Nasus and/or Renekton, increasing his size and health for the duration, while his Passive be where his attacks would stack an effect, in this case Corruption, allowing additional damage.

WRATH: Manaless. His Passive would be that the longer he fights, the stronger he gets, up to a point of course. His three abilities would the combined form of his weird weapon, which looks like a mix of an ax and a sword, a buff to his next attack, and a pound on the ground, where in a small radius, he creates a shockwave that damages enemies. His Ultimate could pretty much be the same as Sion's, a charge where he is Unstoppable until hits a wall or an enemy. Or maybe swap the third and Ultimate, just make the third a smaller dash, maybe something akin to Ornn's.

AVARICE: Mana. His passive would be like Fafnir's from SMITE, where he can gain a set amount of bonus gold from minions, structures, kills, assists, and hitting hitting an enemy god with an ability. Overall, I think Fafnir's moveset works well for the Sin himself. So, a thrown projectile, a buff to his attack speed that also minorly heals him, and a leap that damages and disarm enemies. Only difference? Avarice would not turn into a dragon, his Ultimate would be different... I'm just a bit unsure of what it would be at the moment.

SLOTH: Manaless. Being Sloth, he would have minions to do most of his basic attacks, while his abilities would be something he has to do. Considering he doesn't do a whole lot in his boss fight, I gotta get a bit creative. I'm thinking a powerful swing of his staff that can knockback enemies, I'm thinking making Exhaust ans ability of his, as well as a minion doing special attack. His Ultimate would see him get of his "throne," empowering his basic attacks and causing nearby enemies to slow. Once over however, he would be exhausted, with maybe an extra bit of defense so that he's not completely out of the game.

LUST: I'm unsure, Mana or Manaless. They would take some inspiration from Wukong of all characters. An ability that empowers their attacks, a clone/stealth combo ability, and what I call a lock-on dash. Lust's Ultimate however would be something like Charm or Renata Glasc's Hostile Takeover, where the enemy is non-hostile to you but has a chance of attacking their allies.

GLUTTONY: Manaless. Compared to the other Sins, he's relatively easy to come up with moveset for. Spitting out a bit of slime that can slow enemies, a long-ranged rake of his claws, and a vacuum pull, all while his Ultimate would see him transform essentially into Kraken, gaining extra health at the very least. I'm unsure of how to make his passive currently.

PRIDE: Mana. Her overall moveset would take some inspiration from Leona, such as the ability to stun an enemy and shield herself, just without the ability to pull herself to an enemy, instead with the ability to heal herself, similar to one of Tryndamere's abilities. Her Ultimate would be a bit like a short duration laser, with a pretty long cooldown.

ENVY: Mana. Being Envy, her abilities would be copies of the others. Considering Envy is especially jealous of the Horsemen, except Fury, she would have one ability similar to theirs. So, she would have Teleport Slash, Stoneskin, and World Ender, with her Ultimate being copying anybody else's. Think Sylas' Ultimate.

AZRAEL: He would be a bit more support oriented than most others I have come up with. So, at least one long-ranged offensive ability, a zone that slows enemies, a shield that blocks Crowd Control, with his Ultimate being a powerful heal for himself and nearby allies. Maybe it could be global like Soraka's Ultimate, but I don’t just want to copy everything from League of Legends or SMITE.

So... once again thinking about the Darksiders characters if they were implemented into a MOBA. Sorry if this is a tired idea to anybody. It's just, with playing Wild Rift, it gets me thinking, and Darksiders is one of my favorite video game series, so sometimes thoughts just form together.

I was thinking about passives and got an idea while trying out Tryndamere. Maybe for the Horsemen, just like how Tryndamere generates "Fury," the Horsemen generate "Wrath." I don't think it's a bad idea, considering in the Darksiders games "Wrath" can be generated when in combat just like "Fury" is for Tryndamere.

Tryndamere isn't the only one with "Fury" in LoL either. Renekton and Shyvana also do use "Fury," just in different ways to Tryndamere. So, maybe "Wrath" is generated differently for each Horseman. Using the Rider of the Black Horse as an example, Fury could say generate "Wrath" in a similar way to Shyvana, where her abilities are based on how long they cool down and her "Wrath" is what is used for her Ultimate. Meanwhile, War and Death could take inspiration from Renekton and Tryndamere. War could generate "Wrath" and for his next basic ability will get an empowered effect once enough is stored, while Death when generating "Wrath," depending on the amount, could get a higher chance for a critical strike. Now, that just leaves Strife. He's a bit harder to figure out. His "Wrath" would be generated in combat just like the other Horsemen, but what extra effect could it have, if needed? I'm stumped. Oh, or maybe Strife is the one with "Wrath" related to his Ultimate while Fury share "Wrath" use similar to War or Death.

Now, what of other Darksiders characters? Would they use "Wrath?" I think that could depend. As part of a hypothetical passive in a MOBA, maybe it could work, while others I could see as having a Mana bar like Ekko, or an Energy bar like Akali. Depends on their personality, I guess. Or some could just be baseline Manaless, all their abilities being a bit more based on cool downs.

Someone like Absalom would probably also have "Wrath," while someone like Azrael would probably have Mana. Don't know what characters could use Energy though, not many feel like they have abilities built around doinf things quickly like Kennen, Akali, Shen, or Zed. Funny idea I just had while typing this is maybe The Hunter from Darksiders 2 having Ferocity, just like Rengar... I'm joking! That could probably fit Samael? Ulthane's abilities I could see being purely based on cool downs.

Speaking of Ulthane, what could his passive and abilities be? I think his passive could be a Living Forge type of deal similar to Ornn from League, where he can forge his own items on the battlefield instead of always having to return to base, and at least one of his abilities has to be throwing his hammer, while another could be a type of charge/dash, while maybe another could be something like throwing a powerful enough haymaker it sends out a shockwave, and I have no idea at the moment what his Ultimate could be. Now, some may be asking, "Why a powerful haymaker that can create shockwaves?" Simple enough answer. Considering War needed the Tremor Gauntlet to open heavy doors and lift Ulthane's hammer in Darksiders 1, a Gauntlet that can allow War to create shockwaves on the ground with a certain move, who's to say Ulthane can't be strong enough to do something similar? Or maybe it could be a Thunderclap, similar to what the Incredible Hulk can do?

Anyways, this is feeling like it's getting a bit long, and I am up bit late as I am writing this, so I will return to this later and try coming up with more ideas at some point. Hope you all enjoyed this and hey, if you got ideas you wish to add, that's cool.

Hi Sniggi-senpai! I saw you're asking for not so popular characters so I was wondering if I can ask a scenario for Absalom x fem!reader

She is in the mugiwara and Ab-sama falls in love with her when Luffy's crew arrive at thriller bark. What about her to seem shy from the outside but to his surprise she reply to his flirty avance and actually have a dirty mind? This is not much NSFW it's totally ok if you want to add some more spice, I appreciate👀

Thank you❤ hope you're having a good day, take care and don't overwork yourself :3

I kinda didn't like Absalom in the beginning and also when I read the request I thought about not doing it but I'm glad I did! I'm still not a huge fan but I enjoy writing for him. I kinda see him as being a pervert but when he actually gets the 'invitation' to go all out he's a little overwhelmed so I went with this headcanon...hope you like it!

Warning: slightly nsfw, Absalom being a pervert (so Absalom being Absalom)

Pairing: Absalom x female reader

Word count: 1.5k

He wasn’t a man who was too picky when it came to women; a nice ass, nice boobs, fine curves and he was all over them. But the moment he laid eyes on you he couldn’t help but find all other women he’s met so far to be nothing more than at most okay to look at. He needed to talk to you, he needed to have you! Every fiber in his body craved your body from the first second. Was it shallow? Sure. But Absalom didn’t care. He was a simple man with simple desires and what he desired the most right now was you.

The only problem was, you were here with the straw hats and he was sure it wouldn’t be so easy to get to you, let alone when you were all by yourself. He knew that blond guy would try and protect you, the way he was always over you and the other women. But he had an ace up his sleeve – his devil fruit power.

He followed you for a long period of time, always trying to find the perfect moment to snatch you away and maybe he could already take you as his wife….

If he wasn’t invisible, the huge blush from his perverted thoughts could’ve been visible and he actually had to restrain himself not to let his thoughts wander too far since he didn’t want to get a nose bleed.

He almost missed you guys deciding to split up and you, for some reason, went all by yourself. As if the heavens had heard his pleas and were well-disposed towards him. He, in his invisible state, followed you through the dark forest of Thriller Bark, his eyes practically glued to your ass and thighs, appreciating the short pants you were wearing, almost exposing your ass but giving view to the sexy juncture that connected thighs and butt. He was jealous of all you male crew mates; they got to see this view every day!

You felt like you were being followed but every time you turned around, no one was there. But this eerie feeling stayed. You also felt uncomfortably naked all of a sudden, and tried to pull your pants down to cover your butt. You usually were comfortable wearing skimpy clothes but right now…it felt like someone was practically already eye fucking you.

You picked up the pace, trying to get back to your friends and feel safe again when suddenly, you felt a warm, wet thing lick up your neck and an aroused growl. You stopped dead in your tracks, your whole body stiffened and the small hairs on the back of your neck stood up in fear.

“You taste so sweet.” A voice purred and you felt two strong arms wrap around your torso and press your body against someone else’s. And then, this body materialized and over your shoulder you could make out a….lion? Man? What the hell?

“What the-? Let go of me!” you yelled, struggling in his grip. His whole weird appearance had made your fear fade away and you just wanted to get away from this thing.

“Oi, stop struggling!” he complained but you managed to free yourself and get some distance between the two of you. Now, you could take a better look at the man in front of you but you didn’t manage to get rid of your confusion. “What are you?” you asked out lout, making him take a step back and blush slightly. “W-what do you mean, what am I? Stop joking around!”

You pressed your lips together, finding it a little cute how flustered he was at your comment. “Have you been following me this whole time?” you wanted to know, changing the topic. The man seemed to be a little relieved about this and grinned at you, his eyes wandering over your body to finally appreciate your front side as well. Of course, his eyes rested a little bit too long at your breasts and now it was your turn to blush slightly.

“Stop staring so obviously! I asked you a question!” you complained, crossing your arms in front of your chest to hide your boobs from his eyes the best you could.

“Indeed, I have. I’ve been following you the moment you got to this island.” He said with a grin, coming a step closer. “Don’t you have anything else to do?” you asked, stepping a step back, your eyes following his every move. Even though he kind of looked like a lion he wasn’t really moving that gracefully. So maybe it wasn’t a devil fruit power that made him look like this? Oh, right. He could turn his body invisible, so this was probably his power. And judging by the stitches he wasn’t born this way either so the only logical conclusion was that this was thanks to some kind of surgery.

“When I first saw you, I knew we were meant to be together so naturally, I followed you.” He explained, making it sound like he really believed what he said. You raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “So, you only want me because of my body?” you retorted, slowly putting down your arms. “W-well…I bet your personality is great as well…” he stuttered, looking away since he knew he got caught. What a horny bastard….but kinda cute. You thought to yourself.

“And what exactly did you like about my body? I would ask you the same question about my personality, but I think you can’t really tell me anything about it, am I right?” Absalom was stunned. Were you actually trying to flirt with him as well? Not, that he was particularly good at flirting – he usually simply followed the women around without actually being successful. But if he understood it correctly, you were flirting with him. And he would be doomed if he let this opportunity pass!

“Well…of course I first saw your face.” He lied. You raised your eyebrow again, showing him that you didn’t believe a single word he was saying. “My face? What do you like about it?” you insisted. “Y-your eyes are…really beautiful…”

“My eyes? What’s my eye color?” you asked, closing your eyes to not let him see. Absalom stuttered, obviously not knowing your eye color since he hasn’t been paying attention to this part of your body.

“Okay! I was lying! The first thing that caught my eye was your butt!” he admitted, a grin slowly creeping on his face. “And I must say, it’s the most delicious looking ass I’ve seen in my entire life.” He purred, coming a little closer again, now only a few feet between you. “This sounds more honest. What do you like about it?” you kept insisting, feeling flattered that this man was so bluntly stating that he liked your ass.

“It’s just perfect; the shape, the way it sways when you move….I just wanted to touch it! And then your boobs….I want nothing more than to burry my face between them.” Wow, you haven’t actually anticipated this much honesty but you wouldn’t deny that it kind of turned you on. Sure, Sanji always complimented you but for some reason this time it had an effect on you.

“What’s your name?” you wanted to know. With a grin, the man bowed down and introduced himself as Absalom. “Absalom.” You repeated his name and now it was his turn to have a shiver run down his spine. His name on your tongue – it made him imagine the different ways you could say his name. “And what is your name?” he retorted, looking at you after getting up again.

“Y/n.” you answered, smiling at him. “So, Absalom. Now that you’ve told me about what you like about my body….what do you want to do next?” you cooed, looking at him curiously. Absalom came closer, now standing right in front of you. He wanted to seem confident but you saw it in his eyes that he was a little overwhelmed by you reciprocating his flirting.

“Let me help you, okay?” You suggested and your hands were already on your T-Shirt, slowly pulling it up. Absalom’s eyes threatened to pop out of his head. Was this really happening? The more flesh you exposed, the hornier he got and when you finally pulled the fabric over your head, exposing your breasts with no bra his nose started bleeding like crazy. “Hey! You’re bleeding!” you yelled but he didn’t care.

“C-can I touch you?” he asked, his hands already doing a grabbing motion. “No way! Not as long as you’re bleeding!” you reprimanded him, pushing him away. “I’ll get it under control! Don’t go away!” he pleaded, trying to stop the bleeding. Why now? I was this close! He cursed his body, his back turned to you. He still couldn’t believe what was happening but he wouldn’t let a stupid nose bleed stop him.

When he turned around it almost started again – but this time because you were completely naked, looking at him a little innocently. “You were so good at praising what you liked about my body. But maybe you could also show me exactly what parts you like the most, okay?”

God, this was his lucky day.

@rollinouttahere-writes

Absalom is gonna die