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Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~10~

Mikey: Raph, do you love me? Raph: Of course I do! Mikey: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Raph: Well, of course I… would… Mikey: I mean something really, really— Raph: Mikey, what did you do?

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Leo: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Casey II: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Leo: Not when you’re playing with Cassandra, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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Warren, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

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Splinter, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. April: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Splinter: I have depression, what do you think?

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Huginn: Today at 7 am, Muninn poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Draxum: I watched Muninn brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Big Mama: The survivability of the gargoyle race never fails to amaze me.

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Baxter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

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Repo: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Meat Sweats: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

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Donnie: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

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April: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Raph: Okay, my name is Raph but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. April: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Mikey: I'm Mikey and I like the movie White Chicks! April: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Donnie: My name is Donnie and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... April: Okay... and you... Leo: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Person E and my favorite color is... math.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 13

Splinter: I’m quick at math. Donnie: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Splinter: 24. Donnie: That wasn’t even close. Splinter: But it was quick.

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Draxum: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Draxum: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

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Leo: We have fun, don’t we, Hueso? Hueso: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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Ghost Bear: I am your king, long may I reign! Albearto: Well I didn’t vote for you! Ghost Bear: You don’t vote for kings. Albearto: Well how’d you become king then? Ghost Bear: Baxter of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Ghost Bear, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Albearto: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

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*At a bank teller window* Warren, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! April: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Warren: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* April: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

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Raph: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Sunita: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Raph: Obviously. Now, Todd, pass the shovel.

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Donnie: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Leo: Why? Donnie: Raph fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Big Mama: Mikey doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~20~

Sorry for the wait. I got distracted by stuff at school and a busy weekend after returning home for the summer. I'll try not to let such a long hiatus happen again unless absolutely necessary. With that said...

LET'S GET THIS TRAIN ROLLING!

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Raph: I’m so excited! Mikey: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy... Raph: And have the biggest stomach aches ever! Mikey: Yeah!

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Splinter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

~ April: I just drank a lego piece. Warren: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid? April: Yes. Warren: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?! April: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?

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Leo: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul! Donnie: Why is Cassandra's a monster? Cassandra: Leo, you forgot Donnie's! Its only an empty space! Leo, proudly: Exactly

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Big Mama: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

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Baxter: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Draxum? Draxum: …Not really. Baxter: Nothing? Draxum: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

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Meat Sweats: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Albearto: Make lemonade! Meat Sweats: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with its own shit.

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Huginn: If there’s one thing I learned from Muninn, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

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Ghost Bear: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

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Sunita: I can be your partner for the next race. Hypno: Sorry, Sunita. It's a sibling race. Todd: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Hypno: It's only children, Todd. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!