Rottmnt Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

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Prompt: CAT-astrophe?

ROTTMNT: CAT-astrophe

Leo: Do we really have to? I like what he’s done with the place.

Donnie: I think the limit has been reached, Nardo.

Raph: Yeah. *Pushes Donnie forth* Go tell him, D!

Donnie: *Switches places with Raph* You’re the leader. You tell him.

Raph: *Whimpers* Heeey, buddy..

Mikey: Hey, Raphie! Have you met Choco Pop yet?! *Presses an adorable cat in Raph’s face*

Raph: About that.. I think we need to let some of them go..?

Mikey: *Gasps* RAPH! They’re strays! I can’t just throw them out!

Raph: Donnie, how many cats are in the lair right now?

Donnie: Hm? Including Choco Pop, 68.

Raph: See?! There’s way too many of them! We have to-

Mikey: *Puts something in Raph’s hands* Make that 70~!

Raph: *Cries while holding 2 kittens*

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ROTTMNT: Freak Out

Mikey: *Humming as he sips from a mug*

Donnie: *Walks by before doing a double take, noticing Leo watching Mikey with a grin* Uh, Leo?

Leo: Hm? *He answers without looking away, grin growing*

Donnie: Why are we watching Michael drink from a mug? *whispers, looking at the camera* Is this part of the show?

Leo: What? What show? No no, this is- *looks away at Donnie, flapping a hand*-this is a pran-*gets interrupted by a scream*

Mikey: *Flings the mug into the air*

Leo: Aw man! I missed the best part! Thanks, Donnie. *gets hit by the falling mug, sprawling on the floor*

Donnie: Huh. *picks up the mug to see a fake painted spider on the inside* Ha!

ROTTMNT: Clone

Raph: So, why are there two Leo’s?

Mikey: One must be a villain!

Leo 1: This guy is clearly less handsome than me, guys.

Leo 2: Psh, yeah right! Hurry up and ninja this copy turtle already.

Donnie: I know what to do. *Aims his gun*

Mikey: Oh, of course! You two are twins so you can feel each other!

Donnie: What? No. *Loads gun* I’ll kill both.

Raph: You can’t kill our Leo, D.

Donnie: Tsk. Fine. Leo! Whoever dies most dramatically after being shot wins.

Leo 2: Oh, I so got this! Get ready to be out drama-ed!

Leo 1: Wait, DIE?!

Donnie: *Shoots Leo 1* Got him.

I've survived all my finals!!!

Best one? Chemistry. Even though it was at 8:00 a.m. on Monday, Chemistry was my easiest class this semester by far. I even had time to write some of the FNAF lore on the back; I had been joking with my professor that I would tell him all the lore one day.

Worst one? Experimental Physics. It should have been easy, but my horrible time management skills wrecked me. It wasn't a traditional final, but a project with an accompanying poster, presentation, and lab report.

So yeah. My life is no longer chaos. ROTTMNT incorrect quotes will resume tonight!

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 6

Meat Sweats: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Mikey: Hey, Meat Sweats. Meat Sweats: GODDAMNIT!

~

Dastardly Danny, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Malicious Mickey, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Loathsome Leonard, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Raph, trembling: What are we playing?!

~

Donnie: How do you want your coffee? Leo: Black, like my soul. Donnie: Donnie: Leo, your soul is a latte.

~

Cassandra: And here we see Casey II and April in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Casey II: Gaelic bread. April: Grueling brad. Casey II: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

~

Draxum: Splinter has never seen Star Wars? Big Mama, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Big Mama! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!

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Hypno: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

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Huginn, holding a scooter: Muninn! Can I go outside and play with this? Muninn: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Huginn, running outside: Thanks Muninn! Muninn, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

~

Sunita: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

~

Ghost Bear, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~Games Edition~

[Disney Villainous]

Mikey, as Prince John: And just what do you think you're doing with all that Power, Donald?

Donnie, as Captain Hook: No, you see, I need money so I can hire people to beat the crap out of this child.

Raph, as Pete: I'm sorry, WHAT--

April, as Jafar: *wHEEZE*

Leo, as Yzma: *typing on his phone* How...much...does it cost...to kill...a child?

Raph: LEO!!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST?!

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[Mario Kart Wii]

Warren, passing the first-place CPU at the beginning of the third lap: MWAHAHAHAHA! Eat my dust, loser!

[Cue lightning, followed by a blue shell, followed by a red shell, and being run over by someone using a Mega Mushroom just to add insult to injury]

Warren: Are. You. KIDDING ME?! YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY, BABY PEACH!!

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[Sorry!]

Splinter, bumping one of Draxum's pieces back to its starting point: Oops! Sorry~!

Draxum: You don't seem too sorry about it...

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[Monopoly]

Meat Sweats: And just how do you already own half the board?

Repo, very smugly: I got good business sense, is all.

Meat Sweats: No one's even traded anything yet!!! I think the stupid game's rigged...

Repo: Ah, you're only sayin' that 'cause you've been sent to jail five times, and I haven't. Maybe you'd have more property if yous wasn't a wanted criminal~

Meat Sweats: Well, maybe you'd be serving a bit more time if you didn't always conveniently have a "get out of jail free" card with you...

~

[Mario Party Superstars]

Cassandra, on the 3-player side of Tug of War: *violently rotating the joystick on her controller* MY PALM MAY BE BURNING WITH THE FURY OF THE SUN, BUT I! WILL! NOT! LOSE!!!

Sunita, as the single player: *also violently rotating her joystick* Well, I sure as heck don't intend to lose, either!! ...Even if I am also in a world of pain...!

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[Pandemic]

Todd: Okay, so, how many outbreaks do we have until we lose?

Bullhop, flipping over the top card of the infection deck: Gah, it's Istanbul...but it's not over yet! We've still got another outbreak until we're done. We just need to--wait, it's connected to Karachi, isn't it? ... *deep sigh* It's over. We just lost...

Todd: ...Oh. Oh... *sniffles* We failed the entire planet...!

Bullhop: *hugs Todd* It's okay. Everyone else may be dead, but we still have each other.

~

[Ticket to Ride]

Hypno: What do you mean I can't build a railway from Paris to Zurich?! I have three cards of the same color! That's how it works for everything else!!

Muninn, flipping through the rulebook: Let's see... With tunnels, you need to draw three cards from the deck to see if they match what you're going to play. If they do, you need to play that many additional cards.

Hypno: ...

Huginn: Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Hypno: I'll say...

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~"Me and My Friends Being Stupid" Edition~

Preface: One of my weird habits is to take my fandoms and "assign" myself and my friends to characters within the series. I have, of course, done this with Rise (one guess as to who I am). The following incorrect quotes are inspired by stupid things that my friends and I have done together, with the character roles based on my little "assignments." Enjoy.

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Mikey, reading a book across the room from Leo:

Leo: *throws his wallet at Mikey*

Mikey: OW!!! What the heck, man?!

Leo: I'm sorry! I just wanted to get your attention!

Mikey: ...And you didn't think to just walk up to me and tap me on the shoulder or something?

Leo:

~

April: I know I have to go back to class tomorrow, but for now, I'm just glad I get to chill with you guys.

Donnie, pouring cold water into a cup of Kraft macaroni and cheese: You can say that again.

April:

Donnie:

Raph: ...You okay there?

Donnie: ...I thought cold water would work the same as hot water. I don't know why.

~

Donnie: *driving the rest of the Mad Dogs to Dollar General in the Turtle Tank*

Raph: Whoa... Donnie, how are you doing that?

Donnie: Doing what?

Raph: Your speedometer's at 45 and just...staying there.

Donnie: Uh... I'm following the speed limit. Is this not what happens when you drive?

Raph: Well, uh--

Leo, in a resigned and slightly fearful tone: No. It's not.

~

The Mad Dogs: *having a Nerf (not strictly Nerf brand) battle*

Mikey, running around like a madman: AAAAAAAH! Ahahahaha!

Leo: *steps in front of Mikey with a fully-loaded Sidewinder* Any last words, Michael?

Mikey: Aah, I don't know--!!!

Donnie: *fires at Leo from across the room with an Exterminator, just barely missing him due to the dart curving in the air*

Leo: AAAH!

Mikey: *takes out a very cleverly hidden Jolt, then fires at Leo's leg*

Leo: Nooooooo! *dramatically pretends to die*

Mikey: ...Huh. I guess I don't need to think of any last words after all!

~

April, texting Leo: "Hey, you wanna come to dinner?"

Leo, knowing full well that she means "with the rest of us": "o//////o"

April: "Bruh"

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April: *shuffling things around under Mikey's bed*

Mikey: *enters the room* ...Uh, hey. What are you doing?

April: Nothing...~

Mikey: ...Are you hiding another bag of cookies under my bed...?

April:

Mikey:

April:

Mikey: ...April, I swear to Pizza Supreme in the Sky--

~

Raph and Donnie, playing Cuphead together: *fighting Cagney Carnation*

Donnie, playing as Cuphead: *gets hit by a stray seed for the fourth time in a row* AAH! No...!

Raph, playing as Mugman: It's okay, I've got you! *tries to parry Cuphead's soul, but fails because it's flying upward too fast*

Donnie: Avenge me, brother...!

Raph: Oh, you bet I will. This stupid flower's going DOWN!

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 8

Splinter: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Cassandra: I only like dark humor. Splinter, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Cassandra: Splinter: An IMPASTA!

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Leo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

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Donnie: Get in loser, we're going shopping. April: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

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S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

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Todd: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Mikey: Okay. *later* Raph: Mikey! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Todd, whispering: Deny everything. Mikey, loudly: That isn't a chair.

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Piel: The Ocean is a soup. Hueso: Hueso: Do elaborate. Piel: What are needed for something to be a soup? Hueso: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Piel: *Tilts head* Hueso: The Ocean is a Soup. Piel: The Ocean is a Soup.

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Meat Sweats, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Hypno: Hey. Big Mama: Hi. Repo: Hello. Warren: Hey! Meat Sweats: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Draxum: We were out of Doritos.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 9

April: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

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Splinter: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted. Leo & Raph: Leo: Was it Raph?

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Draxum: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Muninn: Huginn, probably.

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Todd, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Mikey: Blue flavor! Todd: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Mikey: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Todd: Blue is not a flavor! Mikey: BLUE FLAVOR!

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Jase: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Donnie: No, that's not how you make cookies. Kendra: FLOOR IT!! Jase: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Donnie: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Jase:I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Jeremy: DO IT! Donnie: NO-

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Warren: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Hypno: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Warren: But you’re always acting stupid? Hypno: ... Hypno: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~

Leo: Why does Raph always do the laundry so loudly? April: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Raph, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part ~10~

Mikey: Raph, do you love me? Raph: Of course I do! Mikey: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Raph: Well, of course I… would… Mikey: I mean something really, really— Raph: Mikey, what did you do?

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Leo: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Casey II: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Leo: Not when you’re playing with Cassandra, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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Warren, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

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Splinter, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. April: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Splinter: I have depression, what do you think?

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Huginn: Today at 7 am, Muninn poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Draxum: I watched Muninn brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Big Mama: The survivability of the gargoyle race never fails to amaze me.

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Baxter: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

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Repo: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Meat Sweats: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

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Donnie: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

~

April: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Raph: Okay, my name is Raph but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. April: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Mikey: I'm Mikey and I like the movie White Chicks! April: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Donnie: My name is Donnie and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... April: Okay... and you... Leo: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Person E and my favorite color is... math.

Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Raph: Yeah I'm LGBT. Raph: cuLt leader. Raph: God hates me personally. Raph: cowBoy hat. Raph: *sniffles* Trying my best.

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Donnie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- April: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Leo: Look at the buns on that guy! Hueso: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mikey: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Leo: I'm not going back to jail!

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Casey II, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Splinter: Gray. Cassandra: Grey. Casey II, turning to Draxum: Now tell them what color you think it is. Draxum: Dark white.

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Repo: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Hypno. The Squad: *screaming* Ghost Bear: He looks like Hypno? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Warren: Hypno, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Ghost Bear: Hypno? Hypno? Hypno? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Albearto!

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Bullhop: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Honey Badger: Okay, but what is updog? Groundhog: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Prairie Dog: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Todd: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sunita: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Bullhop: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Prairie Dog: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Groundhog: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Honey Badger: What’s a henway?? Bullhop: Oh, about five pounds.

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Leo: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Donnie: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Leo: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Donnie: You take that back!!! Leo: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 12

Mikey: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Leo: 'Prettiest Smile' April: 'Nicest Personality' Donnie: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Raph: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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Big Mama: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

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Muninn: So, what is Huginn to you? Draxum: The reason I wake up every morning. Muninn: ...That’s adorable. Huginn earlier that morning, barging into Draxum′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., trying to comfort Splinter: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

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Foot Lieutenant: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Warren: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Foot Lieutenant: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Warren: But I heard a siren. Foot Brute: That was Hypno. Hypno: Sorry, I got nervous.

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Splinter: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

~

Raph: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? April: Can't relate. Mikey: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 13

Splinter: I’m quick at math. Donnie: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Splinter: 24. Donnie: That wasn’t even close. Splinter: But it was quick.

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Draxum: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Draxum: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

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Leo: We have fun, don’t we, Hueso? Hueso: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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Ghost Bear: I am your king, long may I reign! Albearto: Well I didn’t vote for you! Ghost Bear: You don’t vote for kings. Albearto: Well how’d you become king then? Ghost Bear: Baxter of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Ghost Bear, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Albearto: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

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*At a bank teller window* Warren, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! April: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Warren: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* April: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

~

Raph: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Sunita: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Raph: Obviously. Now, Todd, pass the shovel.

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Donnie: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Leo: Why? Donnie: Raph fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Big Mama: Mikey doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Back to School Edition

I don't wanna go back to school, but classes start again this week, so I have to... Maybe this will motivate me a little. Like my other original incorrect quotes stuff, these are based on things that I have experienced in real life. Enjoy. :)

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Splinter: Good morning, everyone. For today's lesson, we have-- Leo: *rides in on a scooter board he "borrowed" from the gym* Splinter: Leo: Leo: ...Hey.

~

April: Okay, guys, we need to focus if we're all gonna pass this test. Let's get to studying. Donnie, 5 minutes later: Hey, check this out. I found a personality quiz telling you which U.S. president you'd be. [The entire class rushes to take this quiz, derailing the study session for the rest of the allotted time.]

~

Voice over the gymnasium speaker: The FitnessGram Pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin... ~ Mikey: *collapses onto the floor after about ten laps* Raph: *still Naruto running across the gym after fifty laps* Mikey: ...Showoff... :p

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Draxum: To demonstrate just how easily diseases can spread, we're going to do a short experiment. As you can see, each of you has been given a vial. One of them is "diseased" with a chemical that will turn pink upon testing. You must share the contents of your vial with three others. Any questions? No? Then get to it. Mikey: TURTLE SWAP GO!!! [All the turtles share their vials' contents with each other. Somehow, none of them get "infected."] Draxum: ...Okay, how?

~

Leo, on his third can of Bang Energy in half an hour: *bobbing his leg up and down at record speed* Whoo! Man, I feel alive! Big Mama: ...Leo, do you need to go see the nurse? Leo: Nah, I'm cool! Never better! I'll be fine! Big Mama: ...O...kay... *takes a sip of coffee* Anyway, on to the War of 1812--

~

[During a mini chess tournament in their Spanish class] Casey II: *captura una de las torres de Donnie usando su reina, poniéndola en frente de la reina de Donnie* Aha! Donnie, sin emoción: *usa su reina para capturar a la reina de Casey II* Casey II: ...Oh. ଵ˛̼ଵ

~

Raph, after injecting a sea urchin with some kind of chemical to make it release its sperm/eggs: *curled up on the floor, shaking a bit* I think I hurt it... I mean, it's gonna die anyway, but I think the needle hurt it... April: Hey, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine, and you're gonna be fine, okay? Draxum: *approaches, only to examine the sea urchin* Wow, look at it go! You two must have some kind of super-male! *leaves without doing anything else* April: Pfft-- Raph: WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 14

Mikey: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

~

Big Mama: What are you two arguing about this time? Draxum: He's always using common phrases incorrectly! Splinter: Cry me a table, Draxum.

~

Leo: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Casey II: What the hell!? Leo: Oh, sorry, my bad. Leo, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Casey II, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

~

Raph: *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Raph: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

~

Ghost Bear: Albearto, we're hungry! Hypno: Albearto! What's for dinner? Warren: We're hungry, Albearto! Albearto, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

~

Kendra: Is Donnie always like this when they lose? Jase: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Donnie: You bumped that table and you know it!

~

April: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! April: *sprays hairspray in her mouth* April: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 15

Repo: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Leo: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Mikey: Is that a picture of you? Leo: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

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Splinter: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture." Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

~

Bullhop: Why would you give a knife to Todd?! April, shrugging: Todd felt unsafe. Bullhop: Now I feel unsafe! April: I’m sorry… April: Would you like a knife?

~

Mikey: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Mikey: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

~

Hypno: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Meat Sweats: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

~

Raph: Are you reading fan fiction? Donnie, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. Raph: Oh, is it on AO3? Donnie: This is CNN.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 16

Leo: Heyyy Raph, how’s your… drink?? Raph: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Leo: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker* Raph: *Looks to coffee maker* *Cement sitting beside the coffee maker* Raph:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

~

Warren: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

~

April: A sprite is anything not static. Splinter: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Draxum: A sprite is a fucking soda. Draxum: You god damn geekass bastards.

~

Big Mama: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Foot Lieutenant’* Foot Brute: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

~

Donnie: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Mikey periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Donnie: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

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Hypno: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

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Mikey: *watching their house burn down* Mikey: Mikey: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 17

Mikey: Today, Leo took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Casey II to the following people: Raph, Donnie, April, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

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Cassandra: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Sunita: Why are we so fucking awesome? Cassandra: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

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Draxum: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Draxum: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Muninn: ...That took an unexpected turn. Huginn: So did their neck.

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Warren: Which country has the most birds? Warren: Portu-geese! Meat Sweats: That's a language. Warren: Portu-gull? Meat Sweats: Good recovery. Repo: I think you mean good re-dovery. Hypno: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

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Otto von Bearto: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked. Bayou 'Bearto: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right? Albearto: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time. Chef Albéar: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy! Al-beardo: ...put it away.

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Baxter on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh. Baxter on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

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Big Mama: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Draxum: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Splinter: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 18

April, having recently lost her glasses: KILL THE BUG!!! Warren: ....That’s a gecko—

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Casey II: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Leo: Please don’t get arrested. Casey II: No promises! <3 Mikey: Why not both? Get creative! Casey II: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Leo: Please don’t encourage him, Mikey.

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Raph: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Splinter: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Raph: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Donnie: Edible.

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Repo: I would do anything for money. *later* Repo, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

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Cassandra: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Draxum: Cassandra, it's four o'clock in the morning. Cassandra: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

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Karai, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

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Donnie: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Incorrect Quotes Generator Shenanigans: Part 19

April: Why is Mikey crying? Leo: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Mikey: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! April: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Mikey: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! April: NO, NOT THAT!

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Splinter: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

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Raph: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Todd: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

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Big Mama, teaching Foot Lieutenant to drive: Okay, you're driving and Foot Brute and Draxum walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Foot Lieutenant: Oh, definitely Draxum. I could never hurt Foot Brute. Big Mama, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Warren: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Hypno: What's that? Warren: Remorse code. Hypno: I'm even angrier now.

~

Jupiter Jim: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Red Fox and not do the thing, Jupiter Jim: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Jupiter Jim: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

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Donnie: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Donnie: I will not yield.