Child Safety - Tumblr Posts
I know you probably don’t use twitter but this is important
Oh fuck that's disgusting
Everyone reblog this and warn people about this
Traditional Kids Example of a mid-sized classic gender-neutral kids' room design
at my social work orientation and we're talking about school social workers and the job description was "working with students in exceptional situations" and i just can't stop thinking about myself and my friends in school and how we were so loudly mentally ill. we missed class, we disappeared to the bathroom, we missed assignments, we broke down crying at least weekly, we showed up with long sleeves and pants in summer, shit i showed up with visible cuts multiple times. i was genuinely screaming for help, i made almost no attempts to hide the fact that i was desperate for it. but i wasn't exceptional. i was in ib, i had mostly A's, i did sports, music, i worked a job, my parents were together, we were wealthy. i wasn't exceptional. and i know people needed resources more than me, i know they have so much less and priorities should be on them. but i can't help being furious. i was going through active abuse, there was domestic violence in my house, i had sexual trauma i wasn't aware of, i wanted to die with every fiber of my being. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. i was terrified that if nobody helped me, i would not survive. but i couldn't just ask for with my words, not when i my parents would be called, not even everybody would be so surprised and disappointed. i deserved help too, even though my situation wasn't exceptional. i kept myself alive, my best friends kept me alive, this system that i am going to dedicate my life to did not keep me alive. i am forever proud of myself and proud of my community for keeping ourselves alive, but we shouldn't have been our only resources.
“Proshippers are dangerous to children!”
Me, reading “immoral” books since age 11, 16 now, yet to have killed, raped, or tortured anyone:
Children are not put in danger simply by exposure to specific things. In fact, for many things, the sooner we learn them the better. I know a lot of people are going to interpret this in bad faith and the worst possible way, but;
Children actually need to be exposed to things in order to actually understand them and properly learn about them in a safe manner that will set the groundwork for the rest of their life.
I'll use an example that has absolutely nothing to do with sex or anything 'proship.'
The good old 'the dog went to live on a farm' analogy. When I was younger and my pets died my parents always told me that my pets had gone to live with other families who needed hem more. That pets were like Nanny McPhee; they went where they were needed.
This devastated me.
I spent years wondering what I'd done wrong. Why I wasn't good enough. Why my beloved pets had decided I didn't need or love them anymore. Where had they gone? Why had they gone? Did they love their new families more than me?
Literal years spent plagued with torment until I hit a new school year and we learned properly about death in biology. Then I spent weeks feeling betrayed, ridiculed and stupid because my pets hadn't abandoned me for a more deserving family. They'd up and died.
And death is sad, yes. I would've been sad for weeks. Months, maybe. I'd miss them forever. But I understood death. I would've understood and accepted death far quicker than I did the notion that the pets I loved so much had simply up and decided to fuck off one day.
If my parents had been honest with me they could've used my pets' deaths as opportunities for literally so many things. How to understand and deal with grief. How to understand and accept death. How to mourn. How to reminisce. How to manage and process and understand and accept my emotions. How to ask for comfort and self-soothe.
Instead all they taught me was that they thought I was too stupid to understand things and that I could've trust a word they said anymore.
Honestly the overbearing safety net we trap children in only robs them of opportunities to be healthy, functioning, developed adults. Children do not need to be sheltered from the entire world until we suddenly drop-kick them into it at 16 or 18.
I'm not saying we need to start hounding eight year olds about pornography and fictional shipping. But what we do need to do is safely introduce them to the world they live in and give them the tools needed to live in it.
always always always. i don’t care how old i am, i’m still going to come up with a code word with my closest people and share it with the kids in my life, friends or family
Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.
specifically why would you jaywalk with a stroller that presumably has your child in it
Normally I don't alert people about this but...
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
https://goodlawproject.org/crowdfunder/nhs-cyp-guidance/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaadkVMoRUHpcFptnjlifnc1xJ0i7YGVi78tfv2vEXVaVIQDPTEp1-ozNcY_aem_AfqNP9xEERFn6GRCZCIP7B2RriLi8ZN7pVAFzmNwdvqIXW0nmc1mTe5Hq0UV3xC6VPWdYe1x64wHk7O6-HPOhIdf
Please share, tag someone who could bring this to a lot of people, and post to other platforms. Not originally mine, idk who is the source of the screenshots.
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In thick white text on black background-> NHS ENGLAND ARE PLANNING A HONEYPOT WHERE THEY SEND ALL KIDS ON GIDS WAITLIST TO CAHMS TO HAVE THEM BE ASKED IF THEY ARE TAKING BLOCKERS/HRT VIA PRIVATE OR DIY ROUTES
Text is broken and in the middle is an excerpt from a leaked nhs document-> a) For medication sourced directly (e.g via the internet), explain the increased risks of harm due to the unregulated nature of these medicines/products. These may include the use of counterfeit chemicals, unsafe/unknown ancilliary ingredients or variability of potency etc. More information can be found here (link to nhs website). // b) Do not initiate or continue prescribing puberty surpressing hormones or gender affirming hormones. The General Medical Council's guidance to medical professionals on 'bridging prescriptions (a course of endocrine intervention managed by a healthcare professional outside of the specialised gender service while an individual is waiting to be seen) does not apply to care offered to young people under 18 years of age. // c) If the child/young person or their carer disregards your advice and you consider that this puts the child/young person at increased risk, then a safeguarding referral might also be appropriate in line with standard safeguarding approaches. Discuss with your line manager and your organization's safeguarding team.
Thick white text on black background continues-> ANY WHO SAYS YES AND DO NOT DESIST FROM DOING SO WILL BE THREATENED WITH SAFEGUARDING REFERRAL (TAKEN INTO STATE CARE)
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In black text on white background, from the news article linked above-> It seems to us - and to those inside the NHS who have leaked the document to us - that what purports to be an "assessment" in fact an exercise in bringing very significant pressure to bear on trans youth and their families to cease private treatment, backed up with a threat of a safeguarding referral to social services if they do not. // We are concerned about what appears to be a misleading exercise in gathering data on which trans youth are obtaining private treatment from abroad, for the purposes of seeking to cause or compel them to stop treatment.
In the same thick white text on black background as previous image-> So an internal NHS document has been leaked basically asking trans kids on excruciatingly ling waiting lists to come to a 'mental health assessment' where the NHS will harvest their personal information & threaten their families with a social services referral if they're found to be on private blockers/hormones & refuse to come off them. // This country is for dogs i swear.
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.
Grooming Can Look Like:
1. "Is that your real name? I don't really like to call people by their usernames."
Asking for personal information right away - It gives a false sense of intimacy and can be used later to threaten or blackmail.
2. "I see you like Band. My parents hate them. 😂 Do your parents know your music tastes?"
Segueing quickly into private life, sometimes asking invasive questions about home, friends, family, etc - It tells them whether or not a person is isolated, unhappy, self-destructive, unsupervised, etc. The more vulnerable a person is, the more successful grooming can be.
3. "I like your fan art. Do you do nsfw? Nothing crazy, just flirty..."
Bringing up sexuality or other adult subjects in a general way - It pushes the person's boundaries gently, getting them to talk about nsfw things in a way that feels nonthreatening.
4. "That post made a good point. I would never guess you're 14. You're really mature and well-spoken."
Describing the person as mature, smart, wise, resourceful, street-smart, etc - It's flattering, and it gives the illusion of equality and respect in their interactions.
5. "People hate what they don't understand. You're just so unique. I get it."
Reinforcing that the person is unique, misunderstood, above others, etc - It increases isolation and forms a sense of dependance on the groomer.
6. "Omg look at this guy's outfit! It's so hot! You know, you could totally rock something like this!"
Sexualizing the person in flattering ways - It feels like a compliment and edges farther past typical boundaries, normalizing more and more sexual interactions.
7. "That guy was out of line. 😤 I couldn't help it, I messaged him and told him if he doesn't leave you alone I'll doxx him. He won't be back. He knows I'll do it. Please don't be mad, I just hate when people mess with my friends... "
Defending the person, often inappropriately - It's a show of devotion to the person, a display of the potential for aggression that serves to nudge boundaries, and can be used to threaten or coerce later.
8. "I'm totally with you on Ship X. It's so bigoted to break up Ship Y like that. We ought to try to get those freaks banned."
Creating an other to unify against, often inappropriately - It creates a sense of intimacy and serves as a way to push boundaries by encouraging inappropriate behavior.
9. "Idk why you let her waste ur time. U don't need phoneys like that. You have me!!! 😂"
Discouraging competing relationships - It increases isolation, vulnerability and dependence.
10. "Listen, don't worry about your phone bill. I got it. Sent it thru your Kofi, plus a little extra. You deserve it."
Giving gifts, money, or paying bills - It creates a sense of intimacy, and possibly financial dependence. And it can be used as a source of guilt.
11. "Where are you??? Tell whoever you're with that I miss my bff!!!!!"
Checking in, keeping tabs, tracking or asking for updates - It diverts the person's attention onto the groomer, interrupts their social life to further isolate, and creates a pattern of guilt and responsibility for the groomer's feelings.
12. "I can't believe you'd abandon me like this. You know I have depression. Are you trying to make me suicidal? The least you could do is give me a couple weeks to find a new therapist. I'm gonna need one now."
Threatening to harm themselves, or implying that they might if contact ends - It plays on that sense of guilt and responsibility and can be used long after abuse has happened, to prevent disclosure.
Grooming doesn't happen by accident. By definition, it's deliberate. When someone begins grooming, they have already decided to abuse. From that point on, interaction has one goal. It creates a situation where the person being targeted has conflicting emotions about what's happening, no one they trust to give advice, and no way to break out without being the bad guy.
The setup - the grooming behaviors themselves - vary. One abuser might use many approaches, and might even change methods if a target isn't receptive. I think we can all agree that guilt-tripping and displays of aggression aren't healthy under any circumstances, but many common behaviors are things that can happen outside of grooming, in other contexts, and be ok. (An old friend might give generous gifts purely out of friendship, but someone who's practically a stranger, giving generous gifts, acting like an old friend, is potentially predatory.) That's why it can be so hard to see. We can't simply ban their tools or latch onto keywords. There are no elements that are always present. There's no set pattern. There are few flags that are always red. It's not that simple.
The only reliable and realistic way to keep vulnerable ppl safe is to teach them to recognize potential grooming by looking at the entirety of the situation, to trust their feelings, and to speak up.
