Crows Delivery - Tumblr Posts
Randobitchyasscoiningshite -> Feralradicalbastards -> Frb-but-cooler
Bodily Minor ⟡ Traumagenic Plural System
30+ members ⟡ Collectively Citrusqueer
Anti-(nc)abuse ⟡ Pro-consent ⟡ Neu-rq
Pro-para ⟡ Anti-CSEM ⟡ Pro-endo
We make terms & userboxes & BAA ⟡ Req rules
i. ii.
Taken Anons ::
🍍¹ ⟡ Cannibal Anon ⁴ ⟡ 🚫🦌⁴ ⟡ 🕯️¹ ⟡ To be continued…
You can claim one by just sending us an ask with the specific signoff you want <3
Made on mobile website
Tags meanings below the cut
# 🌷 ⪧ FRB Speaks 。°✩ = Talking
# 🍄 ⪧ Stranger Speaks 。°✩ = Talking with Anon
# 🧸 ⪧ [Signoff] Speaks 。°✩ = [Signoff] ask
# ☔️ ⪧ Storm Warning 。°✩ = Discourse
# 🧺 ⪧ Crow’s Collection 。°✩ = Saved Term
# 🍯 ⪧ Crow’s Delivery 。°✩ = Repost
# 🌿 ⪧ Beautiful Creation 。°✩ = Coined Term
# 🥧 ⪧ Beautiful Being 。°✩ = Alter / Headmate Pack
# 🍓 ⪧ Beautiful Signs 。°✩ = Userbox
hey. yeah you.
uou know you wanna say your transids are your cisids.
literally why does anyone have to know
its the internet
q1 :3
I literally just wanted to go around mogai blogs
And then I find this lovely blankqueer description
[ start screenshot here ]
[ end screenshot here ]
You know
This is what we call dehumanization
Not only is this dehumanizing in a regular way (which is a horrific thing anyways)
But this is an argument like fascist and racist dehumanization
I'm not saying the coiner is a fascist or racist (btw don't harassing them PLEASE I don't need that)
But the coiner SHOULD know not to use fascist arguments
Like maybe MAYBE we shouldn't use arguments that sound like this image
Maybe we shouldn't do that
Again
I am not saying the coiner is a racist or a fascist
But I am saying they are going so far into hatred that they are unknowingly making the argument that was used by those people
And if you are the coiner for whatever reason
"Since they are annoying and their existence is a waste of space"
Would you say that to a friend
A family member
A partner maybe
Would you say that to your little sibling
Would you be okay saying that
And if it was said to you?
Just remember, the things you say are on the internet forever.
I’m sorry-
These are comments on a post about "immoral porn" and it made me so fucking angry I had to rant here. THIS IS NOT TRUE. Consuming "fuckdd up" content, including sexual content, does NOT corrupt you or numb you to the point you'll seek out worse and worse stuff or suddenly be okay with doing it IRL.
Do you know why people say this? Where it comes from? FUCKING TED BUNDY saying that "hardcore pornography" was the reason he killed women. SERIOUSLY. Obviously HE WAS LYING!!! He was a lying ass bitch who wanted to kill people, then once he was caught he invented an excuse that would make him look more sympathetic!!
Porn is not actually a slippery slope into serial killing. People choose to do awful things because of their underlying value system, not because of the art they engage with.
shoutout to people who WANT to transition and refuse to just “cope” with dysphoria in “healthier ways”
shoutout to the people who don’t want a healthier alternative
shoutout to people who don’t want to cope with their dysphoria in socially acceptable ways
Shoutout to people WITHOUT dysphoria and want to transition.
shoutout to people who want to transition because they think its cool
you do not need to tone down to please people. Your body, your choice
Welcome to the plural community!!!! You’re valid as hell, and don’t let anyfuck tell you otherwise!
-Shroom (I misspelled it 3 times 😭😭)
(Also, I wanna say that I fucking love transplurals so much. Y’all are so damn cool)
Coming out as transplural!!!! I current;y have 3 alters
Rae- host
-R
Jax- Little
-J
Star- Protector
-S
I'm transplural because I feel like a should be a system. ALso going to sign off with letters of the name so I feel like a cissystem
The Plurality of... Bill Cipher (The Book of Bill)
Spoiler Warning for Gravity Falls, The Book of Bill, and the nature of reality as you know it
Hello dear reader.
I recently found in my possession a strange book with no explanation as to how it got there. A bizarre tome known only as The Book of Bill.
I recognized the name and imagery from someone else's memories. Bill Cipher, a character from Alex Hirsch's hit series Gravity Falls.
It honestly seemed too perfect. I've been doing this "Plurality of..." series where I look at plurality in media. And an important part of Bill's shtick was possession.
It seemed simple enough. I can read the book, learn a bit about Bill and his possession, and then write an article about his plurality. But the reality was anything by simple, with far more than I bargained for.
And by the end of this post, this book will have driven me to break a fundamental rule I've held sacred through my "Plurality Of..." series.
What is Plurality?
Before we begin, I should explain what plurality is for anyone new here. Plurality is a term for being multiple in one body in some way.
We call the body's occupants "headmates". These can be anything from alters in dissociative disorders to spirit guides bound to a mortal, to... yes... even literal demonic possession.
Yeah, even being possessed by a demonic triangle from a 2-dimensional universe is a type of plurality. If there are multiple self-conscious agents of some kind there, it's plural!
Time To Get Weird!
(Art by magentasnail)
Let's catch you up on the basics real quick. Again, there will be huge Gravity Falls spoilers.
In Gravity Falls, Bill Cipher is a yellow a 2-dimensional triangle demon bent on causing chaos.
Through the series, Bill makes deals with multiple characters to possess their bodies. This includes both gaining full control over the body of protagonist Dipper Pines for an episode, and more interestingly, sharing control over the body of Stanford Pines for an extended period of time.
Bill's possession of Dipper left Dipper outside his body like a ghost. But his deal with Stanford is much more plural in nature, where they shared control, with Bill only controlling the body in his sleep.
Obviously real plural systems don't have headmates controlling their body while they sleep like this, but the experience can be seen as analogous to dissociative identity disorder, where it's common to experience blackouts and "wake up" in situations unsure how you got there.
That's all you really need to know about Bill for the time being.
With that out of the way, it's time get weird and dive straight into the Book of Bill!
The Book of Bills
As I begin reading the Book of Bill, I'm given a warning from Stanford Pines that the book will rewrite itself based on the mind of the reader. This seems silly, and I of course dismiss the idea out of hand. Surely there's no way a book could change itself based on who's reading it.
As I venture further into this tome, I find the occasional point of interest. References to Bill living in people's brain, him being an idea, etc.
I stop briefly to ponder that. Why does Bill refer to himself as an idea? Isn't he canonically a being from a physical 2-dimensional world? Him being described as an idea is peculiar, but something I tuck away for the future.
The first thing I find that really piques my interest in regards to plurality is the multiple times that it's just referenced that there are multiple Bills in Bill's head. Such as when Bill refers to "the voices in his head" teaming up.
In the plural community, there's a concept known as median system.
A median system is typically a system which has separate parts that are less distinct from each other. There's a pretty solid case that Bill, having a bunch of Bills in his head, could be considered a median system on his own.
In fact, the book itself actually depicts communication between multiple Bills, in the form of an interview.
And throughout the interview, there are times where the Prime Bill seemingly gets annoyed at the interviewer's questions. As if they are actually different people. While this could be Bill simply duplicating himself and pretending for comedic effect, it could just as easily be that both Bills are headmates in Bill's system.
Bill being a median system is a pretty interesting direction.
As I read on though, the book dragged me down yet another rabbit hole, and raised an important question.
Does Bill Have A Dissociative Disorder???
Let's talk about dissociative identity disorder. There are two main criteria for DID. Criterion A is the presence of two or more distinct personality states. You know, like those Bills in Bill's head.
The second is memory loss.
Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events.
This is what was on my mind when Bill was describing how he was uniquely gifted with the ability to see into the third dimension, and wanted to teach others this same skill.
But when he tries to recount it... this happened...
To me, this sounds exactly what was described in criterion B. This is also called dissociative amnesia.
And it's not just this one-off example. Bill actually references later that he dissociates (his words) and "wakes up" later after a conquest.
With everything we know, it seems incredibly likely that Bill has DID, or at least a related disorder.
Bill is what he eats
Okay... wait...
So Bill can ALSO imprison the souls of those he eats inside himself, and they can apparently take over Bill's body too???
What actually is going on here? Is this one of Bill's powers? He can just eat entire universes and then whatever he consumes becomes a part of him? Or maybe it's something else...
Maybe if we looked at this less literally and consider the previous hints of Bill having a dissociative disorder then perhaps what is going on is that Bill is introjecting these people.
Maybe whenever he enters somebody's mind, some piece of them remains...
I would love to speculate more on this... But this is the only mention of it in the entire book!
At this point, I begin to reflect on the words at the beginning. Maybe it was true that the book was changing itself to give me what I wanted. Little hints of plurality to keep me reading, to ensnare me in its vicious trap and ultimately drive me to madness.
And the worst part was, I was falling into it anyway. Because I had to know, even if this was a trap, I was in it to the very end. My thirst for knowledge and understanding unquenchable.
Even if I knew I should stop here, there was no going back.
Stanford Pines, Bill's Perfect Host
At last, beyond all of the misdirects that were put in my way, I arrived at the reason that I started on this journey.
Stanford Pines.
I need to say that when I started this journey, planning to delve into what the plurality of Bill and Ford might be like, I never imagined that it would be handled so... Beautifully.
I mean that genuinely!
I love the relationship of these two characters in the book!
They are both very out of place in their own ways. Both are aware of things in their world that are denied by others, leaving them ridiculed and ostracized for it. They manage to form a genuine friendship. Even if Bill was using Stanford the whole time to achieve his Weirdmageddon.
The two compliment each other surprisingly well. Bill provides Stanford with a friend who can get him out of his comfort zone, which is something that I think Stanford really needed.
There's a really fun part of the book where Bill just gets Stanford mind-drunk, which is apparently something he can do.
Bill fills a role in Stanford's life that nobody had since he lost contact with his brother. While Stanford had friend in with Fiddleford, his lab partner, and we do get to see parts of that friendship in the book, they are more like work acquaintances.
Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Because in the end, Bill is still an evil demon who was bent on bringing about the Weirdmageddon and was manipulating Ford the whole time.
And when Stanford found out, he tried to shut Bill out. This led to Bill trying to communicate through sticky notes to get Ford to stop ignoring him. He would front in the body at night while Ford slept, and they carried on a conversation through these sticky notes.
Wait... Sticky notes?
This is such an interesting choice for the character! Especially after so many hints of Bill Cipher having some sort of dissociative disorder.
Why?
Because sticky notes are an actual method that real DID systems use to communicate with their alters, as seen in this post from the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) website.
It's fascinating how, if you were to try to depict how headmates with strong dissociative barriers might communicate, this is one of the ways you would want to do that!
Is this coincidental? Maybe. But the talk of dissociation earlier suggests the author also has at least some basic knowledge of dissociation and how it works. And, perhaps, plurality as well?
Overall, this whole section with Bill and Ford was fantastic, and it was well-worth the read for that on its own.
The End?
I suppose this is the end. I found what I wanted. I got the content I was after. A cool plural story of a guy and his headmate from another dimension who wants to take over the world.
Through all the strange distractions and hints of Bill himself having headmates that seemingly went nowhere, I got more plurality in the book than I expected.
And yet, as I turn the final page of the book, I feel unsatisfied. Unsettled.
"Is that it?" I think to myself.
This is Gravity Falls, a show built on mysteries, and looking deeper than the surface. Surely there has to be more. Right?
What if... all the plurality in this book, is obscuring something deeper? Or maybe hinting at something deeper...
And then... I see it!
After the final page, I come to the About the Author section.
Which means it's time to talk about...
The Plurality of... Bill Cipher Alex Hirsch
Yes, I am going there!
In the beginning, I promised that this post will require me to break a rule I've held sacred through these posts.
That rule... is to never speculate on the plurality of the author.
But, Alex Hirsch, at least in a fictional sense, hasn't exactly shied away from the idea of being "possessed" by Bill. This dates back at least a decade, with him making Tweets like this one.
"Bill Cipher" even did an AMA on Reddit through Alex, playing it off as Bill possessing Hirsch while he slept.
It's a pretty open secret in the Gravity Falls community that Alex Hirsch is "possessed" by Bill. At least in some meta-fiction way that may not be canon to Gravity Falls but isn't quite real either.
And were my analysis to stop here, I wouldn't really be saying anything new or valuable. A lot of this was covered by MatPat on Film Theory.
But there's something I want to go back to that confuses me in this book.
That Bill Cipher... is an idea?
Let's bring this full circle, back to the beginning of the book where Bill mentions that he's imaginary and describes himself as an idea.
These are such weird lines because Bill didn't seem to have originated from people's minds within the narrative of Gravity Falls.
His story is of being a being from a literal flat world. So why then, does he describe himself as an idea? Why does he describe himself as imaginary???
Bill Cipher as Alex Hirsch's Tulpa
While Bill being an idea doesn't make sense if he's speaking as a being from a 2-dimensional world that's real to him, it does make sense if we consider that the Bill talking to us, who wrote the Book of Bill, is a tulpa sharing the body of its creator.
Before going on though, we need to answer an important question. What is a tulpa? The r/tulpas subreddit gives its own answer to this in its FAQ.
The simplest way to describe a tulpa is simply another person who was created intentionally/unintentionally through repeated interaction and shares a body and mind with their creator. A more complicated definition can go as follows: A tulpa is believed to be an autonomous consciousness coinhabiting a brain with their creator, often with a form of their creator's initial choice and design. A tulpa is entirely sentient and in control of their opinions, feelings, form and movement. They are willingly created via a number of techniques to act as companions, muses, and advisers. Tulpa forms can either be visualized in the mind's eye, or, with practice, seen as a hallucinatory figure using a technique called imposition.
And let's stop there on the line about being created as muses, because this is something that's found repeated throughout both The Book of Bill and Journal 3, with Stanford referring to Bill as his "muse."
It's a curious term that doesn't appear in the show, but was added to the lore in these two supplemental books.
The FAQ goes on to explain that while tulpas are often considered to be intentionally created, there are also accidental tulpas that can arise through imaginary friends or from writing characters.
Is it possible to accidentally make a tulpa? Yes - many people join the community after realizing they have had tulpas all their lives, but without knowing what they were called. These "accidental" tulpas often arise from imaginary friends and writing/roleplay characters.
On the point of roleplay characters, something I also haven't mentioned yet is that Alex Hirsch didn't just write the character of Bill Cipher. He WAS Bill Cipher. In the show, Bill is one of the characters Hirsch voices along with Grunkle Stan and Soos.
Writing tulpas and how they come about are discussed a bit more below:
Is this a new phenomena? No, it's a practice that goes back in recorded history at least as far as the Greek philosophers. The present name of the phenomenon is derived from the word used by Tibetan monks in the early 20th century. There's also evidence to suggest dedicated prayer can lead to the development of 'religious tulpas' in the minds of the particularly devout, and on the secular end, writing techniques similar to tulpa development techniques can and have resulted in writers creating accidental tulpas from their characters. Having a tulpa is nothing new, although it's gone by many names throughout the course of history and does so even today. However, we believe we are one of the first groups to address this practice as a psychological phenomena rather than a magical, occult or divine experience.
Tulpamancy and Attention
There was another passage from the book that I found noteworthy.
At the end, Stanford describes what truly sustains Bill isn't power, but attention, which Stanford describes as Bill's "lifeblood."
It's even underlined for emphasis.
Why is this important? Well first, this line goes back to the weird lines earlier suggesting Bill is an idea.
But more importantly, feeding on attention is something which is actually a pretty popular philosophy in tulpamancy. That tulpas feed on and are sustained by the attention of their hosts.
How do I give my tulpa energy? Tulpas are sustained by attention, and energy is a convenient metaphor for this. So, you can give your tulpa energy by interacting with them. It is also possible, through no shortage of work and time on the part of host and tulpa alike, for a tulpa to grow beyond this need and to learn how to sustain themselves.
How much attention/energy/interaction does my tulpa need? During the creation process you should aim to interact with your tulpa daily, anywhere from a few minutes up to a few hours, and narrating to them as and when you can. After they're fully vocal and active, the bare minimum is just acknowledging their existence, but spending time talking to them and interacting with them is very much the point of bringing them into existence. Just don't ignore them, and you'll both be fine.
On Parallels in Writing
Adding another layer, it's likely that Stanford Pines is at least partially based on Alex Hirsch himself.
One point of trivia is that Alex Hirsch has a twin sister, and Gravity Falls was inspired by vacations they would take as children. Dipper and Mabel being based on Alex and his sister is pretty well-known. But towards the end of season 2, it's revealed that their Grunkle Stan is a twin himself, with his brother being Stanford Pines, the author of the journals.
During this part of the story, it starts creating a parallel between the relationships of the younger and older twins, with Dipper (who is based on Alex) bonding with Stanford over how much they have in common. Both are nerds who are into writing and science and uncovering the mysteries of the world. Both are a bit socially awkward as well.
And while not much attention is drawn to this particular connection, both had experiences of making deals with Bill that let Bill takeover their bodies at different points.
Based on the parallels between Dipper and Stanford, one might speculate that Alex based Dipper on his younger self, while Stanford was loosely based on himself as an adult.
The personalities of these two characters are also the most likely to create a tulpa based on the psychological profiles of most tulpamancers.
In 2016, Dr. Samuel Veissiere, a psychiatry professor at McGill University, found the following in his study of tulpamancers:
From coding of qualitative interviews collected in large surveys, the most common tulpamancer profile to emerge is one of a highly cerebral, imaginative, highly articulate, upper-middle class, formally educated person with many consistently pursued interests, talents, and hobbies, but limited channels of physical social interaction. Typical tulpamancers are confident about their talents, but are quite modest and socially shy. They possess – or have cultivated – a high propensity for concentration, absorption, hypnotisability, and non-psychotic sensory hallucinations.
The psychological profile of tulpamancers fits both Dipper and Stanford to a t. And many of these same traits could just as easily be true for Alex Hirsch if these characters were meant to be stand-ins for himself.
Is Alex Hirsch trying to tell us that he's plural?
In the end, this is just a theory. And it's one that I feel nervous making because plurality is so deep and personal. That's why I've avoided speculating on the plurality authors in the past. Even when the writing feels so true to the plural experience that it's hard to imagine that someone who isn't plural wrote it.
So why am I making an exception with this one?
Well, in this particular case, I think that the breadcrumbs are being left intentionally, and if he is plural, then he expects somebody to follow them. I'm not worried that I would be outing somebody who didn't want others to find out.
With Alex Hirsch's love of codes and clues and mysteries, if he were plural, I have to imagine that the hints weren't accidental and he would be wondering if anybody would follow them.
And if I am completely off base and he's not plural, I think that he would still appreciate the theorizing anyway. 🤷♀️
But if these are intentional clues that were left behind to hint at a real life plurality, one might ask why.
Why would he want people to know about it, and hint at it in this way?
Well, I think the Book of Bill might have an answer to that too.
Shame is a powerful emotion. But it grows in the dark. The more I've tried to hide my past with Bill, the more hold it's had over me.
Perhaps this line is meant to reflect Alex Hirsch's own feelings. Because many plural systems have felt this same way about their plurality, having hide their relationships to their headmates.
The actual end now
Finally, we come to the real ending of this.
This is, again, just a theory. I don't want anyone taking it as fact. I admit that I could be completely wrong about everything that I've said here.
But if nothing else, it's at least fun to imagine that Alex Hirsch does have a Bill Cipher tulpa in his head that has been acting as his muse this whole time. And it would give a new meaning to the gag of the Weirdmageddon intro saying Gravity Falls was "created by Bill Cipher" all those years ago.
Thanks for reading, and if you have your own muse that you think might be more than a simple muse, be sure to read my guide on how to know if your imaginary friend is sentient.
And if you like this post and want to see more like it, you may want to check out The Plurality of… Avatar: The Last Airbender or The Plurality of… IF
🐀🎀🔪🧨 person again.
We actually meant to say MUDs, Transids, and pronouns. Sorry for the confusion!
[ 🐀🎀🔪🧨 Person again. We actually meant to say MUDs, Transids, and pronouns. Sorry for the comfusion! ]
I deleted your old ask and will use this one!
ID Pack based on 🐀🎀🔪🧨 including MUDs, TransIDs and Pronouns!
Tw for s/h via cutting, use of these parts are optional
MUDs
Patient believes that they are slowly turning into a rat and that it is in their 'destiny' to rule over large rat populations (🐀)
Patient's circulation is so bad they must constantly be wrapped up 'like a present', patient may prefer ribbons to bandages due to personal preference (🎀)
Patient produces too much blood for their body resulting in high blood pressure and frequent internal bleeding. Opt: patient receives the constant compulsion to undergo s/h via cutting to remove excess blood (🔪)
Patient believes that their head or any other body part will explode either constantly or in random bursts leading to hysteria and panic attacks (🧨)
Trans IDs
Trans species rat, trans rat tail, trans rat fur, trans rat ears, trans rat shapeshifter, trans were-rat, trans rat ruler (King, Queen, Caln or other!), trans rats in a trench coat (🐀)
Trans loved, trans owned, trans spoiled, trans pampered, trans gifted, trans ribbons in hair (🎀)
Trans murderer, trans murdered, trans knife hands/fingers/nails, trans sharp teeth, trans harmful, trans dangerous, trans sanity (less), trans stalker, trans self harm via cutting, perma wounded, perma bleeding (🔪)
Trans hot-headed, trans explosive personality, trans ginger hair, trans loud voice, trans sparkling ahoge, perma irritated (🧨)
Pronouns
rat/ratself, fur/furself, scurry/scurryself, cheese/cheeseself, chee/cheeself (🐀)
ribbon/ribbonself, bow/bowself, b♡w/b♡wself, red/redself, cute/cuteself (🎀)
knife/knifeself, cut/cutself, wound/woundself, harm/harmself, blade/bladeself (🔪)
bomb/bombself, boom/boomself, bam/bamself, explode/explodeself, splode/splodeself (🧨)
I like them lots💚
**Proship** genshin impact + honkai star rail server!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
This server is open to all proship and proship-aligned folk. We are pro-para, but ask that pro-contact paraphiles please do not join the server.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
We are system-friendly (pro-endo) and have both pluralkit and tupperbox.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
We have a verification system to filter out any antis that try to infiltrate. We are also looking for mods- if you are interested, please reach out to the owner (me), or the head moderator after verifying in the server.
https://discord.gg/pTgk3TBD62
How I forced myself to dissociate, a guide for trans/severiDissociative beings
For me, dissociation has always come in "levels." I think, if I hadn't set things up in the order I did, it would be hard for me to dissociate the way I do now. I want to walk you through those levels, and offer some insight as someone who's been dissociating for 4+ years at the time of writing. Of course, everything on this list will be much easier for you if you're chronologically younger (neuroplasticity), and/or under persistent stress. Though, neither of those things are strictly necessary
For @kenochoricgardens. Supreme yapping below the cut
Derealisation
The first layer is derealisation. For me, the easiest thing to do was always detaching from the world around me. Derealisation is the experience of dissociating from your surroundings. I think it's a good jumping off point. The key to achieving derealisation is looking at how cis beings experience derealisation, and trying to "convince" yourself that you are also experiencing it
Cis beings tend to have a foggy perception of their environment while derealising. Some things I see frequently reported are a slowing/warping of time, muffled/distorted audio, and hazy or "far away" visuals. Some beings say their perception of size and depth skews, others say they feel as if in a "dream" or as if experiencing fiction rather than reality
Of course these are all more metaphors than real physical experiences. It isn't hallucinating, these examples are just meant to illustrate how your perception distorts. Even while derealising, beings are aware that what they're experiencing is a matter of perception, even if they're confused by what is real or fake in the moment
The easiest way I found to convince myself to derealise was by repeating affirmations. I know it sounds corny, but it is an easy way to will your brain into tricking itself. When I first started out, I repeated phrases such as "I am dissociating, this is really it, I'm detaching from my surroundings, what is real?" etc. For me it helped to really lay on that feeling of confusion. While you might not experience genuine derealisation the first time, it's the kind of thing you have to do every so often for it to actually kick in
Depersonalisation
Depersonalisation is the experience of dissociating away from yourself. Your sense of being, your own body, your emotions/thoughts, and even your memories. Cis beings tend to report a disconnect from their body when they look down, or an inability/difficulty to recognise their face in the mirror. They may experience their thoughts, emotions, and/or memories to be much harder to reach than usual, or separate from/"foreign" to them. They may feel numb towards pain, or unable to process it in the way they normally would. Cis beings tend to describe it as perceiving their own experiences from an outsiders point of view
Again, be sure to pull out those affirmations and keep in mind that this is all metaphorical. Some of my affirmations when I was starting out were "who am I? Who's body is this? I can't quite recall what I was thinking.. Are these memories mine?" and similar. I'd also recommend trying to "forget" the fact that you exist. Try to detach from your thoughts and your ability to discern that you are thinking. Try to lose track of your identity perception
Despite the fact that you should really try to layer most of these steps slowly, I do actually think you would benefit from doubling depersonalisation up with derealisation (unless you really only want one or the other). I'd wait until you have a bit more experience with the latter, though. Dp without dr is like a girl without a joystick an angel without it's wings /ref. In my opinion tag teaming your lack of dissociation is an effective way to alleviate it
Dissociative Amnesia
Level 3, dissociative amnesia. Dissociative amnesia is fairly self explanatory. Dissociation based amnesia. It usually happens in order to protect the brain from a harmful event/period. You don't really need steps 1&2 to get here, but it certainly helps.
Dissociative amnesia comes in many different forms. You may not be able to remember specific events, you may not be able to remember larger periods of time. You may even find yourself losing significant memory on the daily if you struggle with persistent stress. It also comes in different intensities. Some beings experience a total wiping of the memory/memories, whereas some beings can retrieve their memories with some effort
Choosing to induce dissociative amnesia is difficult, because it's so context specific. Unlike dp/dr it's not something you can repeat affirmations to whenever. Even if you don't have any particularly negative memories, you could still pick a certain memory/time period and refuse to think about it. Though I will say it's most effective when used as a coping mechanism to avoid bad things, as is any form of dissociation
If you do find yourself remembering, you could berate yourself for it. This was most helpful to me, because it gave my brain something negative to associate with the targeted memories. If you're not looking for a negative experience with dissociation, this might not be the best step for you though
Fragmentation
The final boss of voluntary dissociation, identity fragmentation. I don't really understand this as well as other forms of dissociation, but it describes the breaking down of identity into "parts". CDD systems are famous for it, but people with BPD and singlets with (C)PTSD also experience it to lesser degrees.
In systems, parts tends to look more or less like separate consciousnesses/people with their own wants, needs, and opinions. I'm less educated on BPD and PTSD, but it is my understanding that while fragmented, the parts are more facets of the being they belong to, rather than separate consciousnesses.
While I am fragmented, my fragmentation isn't at the level of cisplurality. I was able to achieve this after a year or so of practicing derealisation, depersonalisation, and dissociative amnesia + repressing aspects of myself. I understand that this seems like a very lengthy process, but I hope that your transition can be quicker with your intention, as mine was accidental.
I started by cutting off parts of myself. I convinced myself that they weren't real, that I wasn't really like that, etc. You could do the same. You could also berate yourself for displaying traits of the part you're looking to dissociate from, though again, this isn't strictly necessary if you're looking to have a non-negative relationship with dissociation. Something that will dramatically increase dissociation between your parts is thinking of them less as "parts", and more as psychological objects separate from you. Or, if you're aiming for plurality, assigning them a completely different identity
Final thoughts
In conclusion, affirm constantly. All brains are capable of dissociation to some degree if placed in the right conditions. I understand how slow and tedious transitioning can be, but over time you will begin to notice changes. If it helps, fake it till you make it, even to yourself. Pretending is another form of affirmation. My biggest piece of advice is to use these tips as coping mechanisms. That's typically what dissociation is. I hope this is useful for you. Good luck with your transition!
POV: A closeup look of inside an Anti-Rq's head during discourse
OMG THAT REMINDS ME
A while back I was just scrolling through some gender system shit and I come across a discourse post. Some system was getting mad at a mogai creator for using the term system in gender system.
Like… what 😭
Discourse over common words like this is so stupid man like, the same word can be used for different things. Words were created for communication and expression, so if it helps a person express themselves, you literally can’t stop them🧍
Ppl are so crazy lol
Not trying to start anything but some systems telling kins to not "steal" sys terms really annoys me the word is as basic as "source" and source related labels. You don't own the word "source". Source is literally a word describing where something came from. What else do you think they/we can use? I'd understand if it was a specific term that was literally created in the community, eg genic labels because they're literally explaining how a system came to be. But "source" is too non-specific.
Yo its Maki, previous blog was /marshmallow-maki-a-la-mode, twas next up on the trming chopping block i suppose 😩
reminder that you literally posted a grown ass man kissing a little kid and said it was “pro para.”
hell yeah I did
everytime someone uses someone’s neopronouns instead of “regular” pronouns an angel gets its wings :3c !!!
Please reblog if YES so your followers will know!
Ladies, gents, and nonbinary friends, I now reveal to you the amount of time it took me to create the alter pack alone.
*drum roll*
3 FUCKING DAYS! IT TOOK ME 3 WHOLE ASS DAYS!
I’m so slow man 😭😭😭
Finally started creating a thoughtform. Reading abt it, it seems fun as hell. Using our BAA/BAH template to help write abt them, which is helping a lot.
Me and some of my headmates love yapping and creating characters, which should help a lot when talking and creating our thoughtform.
Do you have anxiety, depression, adhd, autism?
Anxiety
Depression
Adhd
Autism
Anxiety + Depression
Adhd + Autism
A different combination of two
A combination of three
All four
All four and then some
None
today's treat is...
୨୧ deranged
[pt: deranged /end pt]
a term and flag for those who consider or believe themselves to be deranged, insane, unhinged, etcetera, or reclaim such terms! this is made with more stigmatized disorders in mind; such as cluster b disorders, schizospec disorders, cdds, and more, but any neurodivergent people can use.
exclusive to neurodivergent people!
coined by us!
please do not repost our creations, or add them to any wikis. our terms and flags can be used by everyone!
taglist: [ @radiomogai, @noxwithoutstars, @daybreakthing ]