Dead Poems - Tumblr Posts

AN: It’s been too long since I’ve posted a poem, mainly because I’ve been working on a poetry book and a bunch of other projects, but this one came so suddenly, violently, and swiftly, I thought...why not share it with you guys? 💜

. . . . 

I am nothing But a hurricane Beating against the shore. Begging Begging For something more. I just want to be pretty I just want to be loved I just want to be everything So you’ll say I’m enough.

But I’m not I’m a mess Just blur of chaos Passing through Staining your palms With the shadows Of my secrets I’m too Scared to say out loud to you.

I am burning Always burning For the taste of your Approval on my tongue. I just want to be someone Maybe you’ll say I’m enough. But I’m never Never Enough.

Not for you Not for me Not for anyone it seems Because I’m always chasing The sunset as it dips below the horizon Thinking, maybe, if I get there The pain in my lungs will be worth it The pain in my feet will be worth it The pain in my head will be worth it The pain in my back will be worth it.

It’s not worth it.

I’m a hurricane Nothing more Just a cyclone of Anxious ticks Words unhinged Flying untamed through The halls of my brain.

In motion, I am always in motion Hurtling through space Trying to fill it with my voice Screaming to the wind so I don’t feel so alone without Your embrace. 

I’m calm again after the storm Tired and languid Don’t want anything more, Satiated for the moment Just a moment until My stomach cramps And begs for more. Too blind to see It’ll only hurt worse In the end, if I keep Running on fumes And drinking gasoline To make me feel somewhat More serene. 

I’m a hurricane but you would Never know it—not from the outside— I’m composed there Mask in place Ready to pace Myself and blend In with the shadows.

I’m a hurricane I left myself so that I could have you, but now You’ve left and I’m nothing But the beating of the waves As they pound against the shoreline Locked inside the castle I built In the place I thought we’d share our lives.

I’m a hurricane.

Some days it feels like I’m dying Each breath dry and lacking anything to sustain me Dehydrated lips trying to remember the taste of your name Upon them. Some days I feel like I’m dying Like my soul has shriveled up And my heart quit and didn’t Hand in its pink slip. Some days it feels like I’m dying The magic in my veins all dried up And gone away with the winds of my Inner turmoil and hatred laced thoughts Of doom, fake love, and bloody dreams too. Some days it feels like I’m just a husk of a human Going through the motions but never Really truly feeling them Violet-blue veins running Down the insides of my arms Visible and stark against the pale Tint of my skin—don’t judge me— I haven’t seen the sun in weeks. Some days I feel like I'm dying Like my insides are going to explode And leave me exposed, wounds gaping Heart racing, begging someone to just...care. Don't worry, it not physical this need To implode, let off steam, and let The world get a taste of the real me. It's all in my mind--I mean-- I guess it's my mind, that's what the doctor Told me when I was nine so it must be mine My fault that is. Some days I feel like I'm dying But I haven't died yet so I must still be alive So that must account for something right? Right?

I'm still here Standing on my own two feet A smile bequeathed upon my cheeks Pale with lack of sleep and the need To eat but my stomachs in knots so I just Keep running away from the obvious as Tendrils of black, inky, death furl around my heart

And squeeze and squeeze and-- I'm still standing despite the fact That some days I feel like I'm dying. 

Why can’t I breathe When you get near me Why can’t I speak When you say: “I’m listening’” Why can’t I be The one to cut this off Strike a match against The wall and burn everything Reminding me of the way you Hold me down at night Your eyes bulging From their sockets Insanity tainting Your touch. Why… Why… Why… Do I take it? Why do I let you Take and take Till I’m empty, Numb and can Only smile Teeth bloody Cheeks aching Soul raw and torn. Why… Why… Why…. Why can’t I let you go? Am I really so addicted to the pain That I can’t escape your vices and Keep on drinking from the fountains of your eyes -- is this the price of love Taken from the very hand of Hades. Why….

Love Me

Just hold me but not to tight for I may shatter

Kiss me with love and care

Tell me you want me

Hold me until I crack

Kiss me till my lips are bruised

Tell me you need me

Shatter my body

Kiss me while my lips bleed

Tell me you love me