Theo Nott X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

ROCKSTAR!AU

for my series, theo has a special and specific nickname for the reader. this is especially important, because he writes a song, featuring that nickname. through brainstorming and your guys' help, i narrowed it down to these four (who will each have their own backstory), but for now, which do you like best just for how it sounds?

something exciting will happen tomorrow… are you ready for it? 🤭🤭

𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊 🗝️ m.list✨

IN WHICH theo is the lead singer of the band cursed legacy and also the one who you hate most in the world. easy enough right? things only get complicated when theo puts out a rude song about you, the band starts to rise to fame and one single accident might ruin everything they worked for so hard. eventually theo is forced to ask for your help, but you wouldn’t be you if you would say yes without a very important rule: theo can’t play his most famous song: the one he wrote about you.

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

content: rockstar!au, no magic!au, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, a bit social media, so it’s modern as well

warnings: angsty, sad at times, language, fighting, cursing, mentions of sex, rude teenage boys, mentions of a loved one dying (there will be chapter specified warnings)

note: super excited for this!!

-> let me know if i should add you to the taglist!!

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

➻ you and theo stopped being friends a long time ago. now there’s only hate between the two of you, tempting theo to write a song

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞

➻ amused isn’t the word you would use to describe your reaction to theo‘s song. while everyone else is sure it is the best one he has written yet

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

➻ as a result of absolute stupidity, theo has to ask you for a favour

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞

➻ maybe the friendship that existed a long time ago isn’t as broken as you had thought. maybe you might be able to fix it

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐢'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

➻ theo knows he got everything wrong. he would do anything to make you stay. but is a song really enough?

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

➻ the competition is on. but is theo ready to risk everything to win?

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

➻ happy ever after???

authors note: for easy access anything (chapters, requests or other thoughts) regarding the series will be published under the hashtags #lizzyscursedlegacyseries and #lizzysdontblamemeseries

everyone is welcome to ask questions/ suggest things in my requests!

—𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you used to be friends. that was a long time ago. now you pretty much hate each other and theo uses his feelings about you to write a song!

warnings: i don’t think there are any! let me know if that’s not true :)

note: here it is!! finally the prologue is here! don’t worry the actual chapters will be much longer. we just needed a starting point! hope you enjoy!!!

word count: 0.9k

masterlist | next part

there was a single path connecting the backyard of the two houses, making it almost hard not to run into each other. despite that, you had sworn yourself to never set a foot on said path ever again, always straying away before your feet could touch the concrete. 

you hadn't been watching him, but it seemed that theo was doing the same. you had never once spotted him wandering across the yard. 

because your eyes were still fixated on the path, you didn't notice the movement in the window across from you, only looking up, when you heard the knocking through your opened window. theo was standing there, watching you with a smirk, before he reached for his pen and wrote something. 

he grabbed his bag, winking at you, before he slapped the paper against the window, turning around and walking out of his room before you were able to react. 

'bye, pixie'  he had written, making you sigh. he had called you that ever since one fateful day in your childhood. because, believe it or not, theo and you had been friends once.

you had been seven when you tried to cut your own hair, much to your mother's dismay, who had dragged you to a hairstylist the same day, eager to fix the mess you had created. there wasn't much to save or fix so you ended up with a rather horrible pixie cut for the next few months.

your hair had eventually grown out to it's normal length, the pixie fading away before you could even start to be ashamed of it, but theo wasn't one to let go of things quickly, so he had been calling you that to this day.

and since your friendship had ended, making room for the hatred towards each other, he seemed to just get a rise of the way it bothered you so much. 

you rolled your eyes, pushing back the feeling of annoyance as you dragged your curtain close so you wouldn't have to look at his window anymore. 

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

theo arrived at the garage sooner than he would've predicted, lazily leaning his bike against the wall, before he walked inside. 

"you're early" mattheo noted, while taking a look at his phone. 

"don't flatter yourself" theo smiled, before he ruffled mattheo's hair, sitting down on the couch beside his best friend. "what about the others?" 

"enzo forget his guitar, blaise and draco went with him to get it" 

"he forgot it again?" theo sighed, leaning back into the cushion. 

"he's been acting up quite a lot" mattheo shrugged "maybe it's the stress"

theo shrugged, before he grabbed his bag, taking out the red leather book. "i have something to finish" 

"another song?" mattheo furrowed his brows, before he stood up and walked across the room. 

"maybe" theo shrugged "i've been working on something" his mind wandered off. 

"might not be the worst idea to put out another single right after the album. we'll stay relevant that way" mattheo pointed out and theo nodded absentmindedly. "i'll leave you to it" mattheo walked in the direction of the door, a towel in his hand. he was probably going swimming in the lake that was right next to the garage. 

the garage was more of a loft than an actual garage. but it had always been called that and every member of cursed legacy was rather keen on sticking to things. 

"we are relevant" theo argued, right before mattheo snuck out the door. he could not hear his answer, if mattheo had even answered anything. 

theo sighed as his eyes fell back on the unfinished song in his book. the words had fallen right out of his mind and on the page it seemed. somehow this song had been easier to write than any other he had written. and that had been almost every song on cursed legacy's first album: neon nights.

sometimes mattheo or blaise had helped him. enzo and draco often had ideas for a few lines, but ultimately most of their songs were written by theo. 

he jotted down more and more lines, adding the chorus, the bridge. occasionally he stopped writing to play a few notes on draco's keyboard, making sure the lines were fitting the melody. in just less than thirty minutes he had a finished song. 

loud noises in front of the door made theo look up from the book. the door was opened by blaise and he entered the garage closely followed by draco and enzo and also mattheo, who had probably run into them right outside. 

"hey" enzo greeted "sorry that we're late, honestly my fault, but—“

theo shook his head, interrupting the boy "it's fine, enzo. i want you guys to listen to something" 

"sure" draco pushed enzo forward, so he had enough room to sit down on the couch. the rest of their group took their respective seats as well, ready to listen to whatever theo was wanting to show them. 

they all listened attentively as theo played the notes on the keyboard, eventually adding the lyrics he had written down, until they were presented with the whole song. they looked at each other, smiling in silent agreement. 

"what do you think?" theo asked, but his friends did not answer. they all got up, taking their instruments and resuming to their positions next to him. 

"what are you waiting for?" draco asked when theo had not moved to stand in front of the microphone.

"let's record it right now" enzo added when he noticed theo's confused look. 

theo smiled upon his friends enthusiam. "sure" he nodded, grabbing his mic and stepping into the middle of their little circle.

thank you so much for reading!!

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555

(leave a comment if you want to be added/ removed from the taglist)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you’re not particularly happy about theo’s song, all while he doesn’t even admit it’s about you.

warnings: none i think, apart from cursing :)

notes: mention of twitter because i refuse to call it X (elon musk is a puppeteer and i’m not falling for his schemes)

this is also still a bit of introduction, getting their dynamic and getting to know the other characters (april!!) better.

previous part | masterlist | next part

you woke up to your phone, flooding over with messages. most of them were from your best friend, april.

you and her had met in first grade, stumbling into each other. she had been new to town, knowing no one. it only took a week for the two of you to become the best of friends. she knew best of your hatred for theo, how it all had went down, from being friends to not even looking in each others direction.

y/n?!?!!!

the first message read. you ignored the twenty following ones and scrolled down to find the latest one.

give me a call when you're up. you won't believe this

you sighed, internally sacrificing the idea of a calm morning and raising your phone, already calling her.

"hey" she said and you could hear the unsureness in her voice.

"is everything okay?" you asked confused. april was normally the opposite of calm.

“yeah” she muttered and then it all came out at once “theo wrote a song and i’m pretty sure he wrote it about you. get ready, i’ll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“he did what?” you asked flabbergasted, while you put her on speaker and opened twitter, checking if there was any evidence. “what the fuck” you muttered once your eyes landed on cursed legacy’s latest post.

“did you see the post?” april asked alarmed “you did right?”

“yeah” you muttered while you scrolled past the reposts “i mean pixie dream girl? do i look like a pixie dream girl?”

april was silent and you closed your eyes exhausted.

“i’m sorry, y/n”

“not your fault” you walked into the bathroom, already putting toothpaste onto your toothbrush “well have some time if you’re gonna be here in just fifteen minutes”

“i thought we could drive to sammy’s and have breakfast”

“just what i needed to hear now” you breathed “i’ll see you in fifteen”

“yeah” you could practically hear her smile “wait! don’t listen to the song alone, okay?”

“yeah” you muttered “i promise”

“it’s not as bad as it thought it would be” april said as soon as you had sat down in her car.

“you’re only saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?”

“no, i promise I’m not” she assured “you will think it’s bad the first time you hear it, but it’ll become more and more harmless”

“how many times have you listened, april?” aou asked through clenched teeth.

“only like fifteen, but i needed to analyze”

“sure” you rolled your eyes “you don’t have to lie to me, it’s alright if you like the song. my feud with theo has nothing to do with you”

“really?”

“really” you nodded. you loved april incredibly, she was the sweetest person on earth.

“i only like it so much because enzo sings the backing vocals” april had been in love with enzo since the third grade. even though you had told her about a million times that enzo was in love with her too, she never acted on her feelings. you weren’t sure if it was because she was scared or because of you and your hatred for theo. still, enzo was your favorite out of the band and april knew that. you would never have a problem with them dating, you just hoped she knew that too.

“and?” you raised your eyebrows, sensing that there was something else she wasn’t telling you.

“and it’s really catchy” april admitted.

“well, I never said that theo can’t write, i’m just not a fan of him as a person, but his band and their songs are alright. so are you going to let me hear the song or are you not finished briefing me yet?”

she smiled, before she pushed the play button. you noticed her fingers trembling and the unsureness as she send you as smile, before she parked at the side of the road.

“what are you doing?”

“saving our lifes” she shrugged.

before you could ask her anything else, theo’s voice was already flowing through the car. the song was a mix of pop and rock, it took a lot to not bop your head along. the melody was really addicting and you hated theo even more.

“maybe the song isn’t even about me”

april send you an uncomfortable expression. you could tell that she was sure it was “maybe”

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,

her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear.

she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,

a thorn in my side, no matter the cost.

she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,

i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

“well, it definitely is about me” you nodded with a forced smile.

“yeah” april nudged your arm “but the chorus is kinda nice, i guess”

you send her a look and she smiled apologetically. as soon as the song had ended, you were more than glad that she had decided to park. you got out of the car and the first thing you did was scream at the top of your lungs.

“fucking idiot!” you screamed “what the fuck is wrong with him?” you turned to april who had been quick to climb out behind you.

april shrugged her shoulders. “i don’t know” she said “how could he?” the way she forged the anger made you almost laugh. she was trying to be angry, she really was, but april was really rarely angry, not even when you two would fight. she wasn’t making fun of you, she was trying to relate.

“i’m gonna climb up the stupid tree, smash his window and throw everything that he loves out and when i’m finished.. then, then i’ll burn his stupid song book! ha!”

“you should totally do that!!” april screamed back “or maybe we could take all this anger and put it into something useful?” she suggested

“like destroy his car?” you perked up.

“no” april smiled while she walked back to the drivers side and took out a blog and a pen. “you could write everything that your feeling down and after we had breakfast, we’ll burn it on the bridge on our way to school”

“i don’t know if that will cure the murderous rage i’m feeling right now”

“we could try?”

you nodded and couldn’t help but smile at the way she was always trying to fix you. sometimes you wondered if she stayed up late only to google therapeutic ways to handle anger or sadness. she had never ending ideas considering that topic.

while she drove you both to sammy's you spend your time writing down everything you were feeling. the absolute anger and general questions and critique you had considering some of the song lines. when had you ever blamed him for something that happened to you? you could only think of a few things and all of them had been absolutely rightful. what games was he talking about? the way you were not interested in upkeeping any sort of relationship and he made it his daily task to annoy you to the best of his ability?

who was really playing games?

you finished your writing right as april parked the car, resulting in one full and another half page and a single sentence scattered on a third one. you held the two pages in her direction and watched as she put them in her bag.

"we'll burn them after" she assured you "what about the third page?" she asked as she noticed the single piece of paper you were folding up.

"that is for me" you explained "i don't want to forget how i felt"

"okay" she smiled unsurely "as long as you didn't plan theo's murder on that, it's fine"

"no promises" you shrugged and april laughed as she followed you into the restaurant.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

you ran into theo sooner than you had anticipated, almost making him topple over on the stairs of the school. april was right about to run into you, but could stop just a second before colliding. she turned her head to the side to look around you and theo, noticing enzo behind the other boy.

“hey enzo” she greeted smiling.

enzo smiled as he noticed her, a rosy blush creeping onto his cheeks. “april, hi” you could see that he was trying to say something else, but before he could do so, theo started talking.

“watch where you’re going”

you sighed “just who i needed”

theo smirked, already guessing that you knew about his bands new song. “what was that?”

“nothing” you shook your head “what is wrong with you, theodore?”

“woah, theodore huh?” he raised his hands, laughing as he saw how angry you were “that does not sound like nothing”

“don’t act stupid” you rolled your eyes “you know exactly what I’m talking about”

“do i now?” he quirked a brow.

“pixie dream girl, really?”

“our new song?” theo wondered “what about it?”

you would’ve loved to just give him a gentle hit so he would fall down the stair, but you were smarter than that, at least you hoped.

“it’s obviously about me”

“well, it doesn’t say your name”

“no” you dragged the word out “but we both know you called me pixie since we were kids. don’t act dumber than you are, theo”

“no need to get offensive” theo tried to nudge your arm, but you pulled it back before he could reach it. “so you accept that as your official nickname? because as far as i remember you always hated me calling you that”

“i still do”

“so then the song is not about you” theo shrugged.

“one line literally says ‘she turns behind the window glass’ and my window is the only one that happens to be right in front of yours” it was a bit shameful that you could recall the line from the top of your head and you had to admit that the song was kinda catchy.

“it’s about a fictional girl”

“sure” you nodded, smiling ironically “just like daddy issues is. do you really think I’m an idiot, theo?”

“do you really want me to answer that question?” theo shot back and your smile died down. the two of you knew that both songs had been written about you. theo was good at writing songs, but also at fighting with you, so it had been easy to recall the lines he had said to you after he had incorporated them in his song.

daddy issues had come out with nine other songs a few months ago. it had been the second single on cursed legacy's debut album. you hated to admit how much the track had hurt you, how theo was able to use something you had trusted him with, against you. he was one of the few who knew about your issues with you dad and he had always been able to calm you down after one of many fights. to hear the sentences he used to whisper to you, used in the chorus really felt like a knife in your back.

but you and theo weren't friends anymore and you had to accept that you would never be again. he wasn't going to go easy on you.

“stop writing songs about me” you said, finally having enough of the endless back and forth you were used to with him.

“stop making stuff up” theo answered with a smile, before he straigthened his backpack and turned around, walking down the rest of the way.

“we have geography” you reminded him.

he just shrugged, before he turned around. “you don’t mind bringing me your notes later, do you?”

“fuck you” you spat and the grin on his face frustrated you.

“is it alright if i accompany you two?” enzo’s voice made your head turn. you had completely forgotten that he had been there the entire time.

“sure” you nodded and he smiled gratefully.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

it was only during english that theo and also mattheo, who suspiciously always disappeared when theo did, turned up again. without an invitation, theo sat down in the open seat beside you. april was sitting on your right side and next to her enzo, who had also followed right after your friend for the next class and was seemingly not about to leave her side. so this arrangement left place for theo and mattheo to sit down on your left side.

"hey, pixie" theo greeted, still spotting that annoying smirk of his. you would have loved to smack it right off his stupid face.

"i had hoped you wouldn't be coming back"

"and just leave you hanging like that?" theo raised his brows "i could never"

you could've guessed that he would show up for english. you hated to admit it, but theo was pretty smart and english was not only his best, but also his favorite subject. it often seemed like he was mrs walkers favorite, considering she loved to read what he wrote and you had to admit he was doing a great job at writing the bands owns songs, even if some of them were about you.

"you're right" you nodded your head, acting as if you just remembered something "now that i think about it, i remember how little maturity you have in you"

"shot right through my heart" theo gestured to his chest and mattheo next to him had the nerve to giggle.

"what are you laughing at?"

mattheo's smile died down. "i see, we're not having a particulary good morning, are we?"

"well, you're onto something, genius" you said sarcastically.

"jeez" mattheo tried to hide behind his best friend "she must've heard the song" he whispered loud enough for you to hear"

"obviously i did, riddle" you rolled your eyes "does at least one of you have critical thinking skills? because this is getting repetitive"

mattheo kindly ignored your comment about his intelligence. "i really don't get you, i didn't think you would be this angry, honestly. i mean, it's just a harmless song isn't it?" mattheo shrugged "who can say that a band wrote a song about them?"

"harmless?" you repeated laughing in disbelief "you called me and i quote 'clumsy old crow'"

"oops" theo looked up the ceiling, as if something interesting was happening up there. you could see the amusement on his face and you hated how much fun he was having by only listening to you and mattheo talk.

"we also called you enchanting if it helps" mattheo smiled.

"it doesn't" you deadpanned and his smile faded.

mattheo shrugged "as i said before, i'm not getting you. the song might not be the nicest, but you have to think into the future. in ten years you can brag about the song!"

you send him a look "not the nicest" you repeated "your little bitch friend here is a petty asshole, who cannot, for the love of him, let go of anything" you said every word as slow and calm as possible, so mattheo was able to follow your train of thought. "and also i am thinking into the future. right now your band is as famous as my left toe and will probably always be. in ten years one of you will, a hundred percent, be in jail and if it's not zabini, i bet it'll be you. so, nothing to really brag about, you get me now, matty?" you leaned back in your chair with a triumphant smile. mattheo was pretty stunned at what you had said and it took him a few seconds to find his confidence.

"wha- i'm not gonna be in jail" he crossed his arms. theo next to him just shrugged and mattheo looked at him in betrayal. "okay, maybe, but only because i threw out a tv from a hotel room after we got that record deal"

theo's head turned at him as fast as yours did.

"record deal?" you asked.

"yeah" mattheo laughed, before he turned to theo in confusion "you didn't tell her?"

theo shook his head "it's not like we're the best of friends, mate"

"well, i thought because of le-" theo had elbowed his friend into the side, which made mattheo shut up immediately.

"what about leo?" you leaned over theo, knowing that he would rather ignore your question than mattheo would.

before mattheo could answer you, or theo stop him from doing so, mrs walker walked into the room, effectively shutting up the whole class.

you took one last irritated look in theo's direction, whose eyes were fixated on the teacher in front of you, before you turned to the book april and you were sharing, opening it to the right page.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: mistakes can happen but this one might cost them a record deal, so they definitely needs some help from you

warnings: cursing, unsafe driving, someone gets hurt, let me know if i missed any!

notes: mattheo and enzo are brothers in this story, i just decided hehe. (they both keep their respective name, they’re step brothers, since childhood so they are practically real brothers anyway lol)

let me know if you’ve enjoyed this part :))

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"you're so funny, enz" april was laying belly down on your bed, while she was busy giggling into her phone. enzo had asked her if she still had the same number she had in middle school and promptly followed her confirmation with the question if she would be free to call after school.

april had agreed before she remembered that she was going to your place. but, because you were a good friend, you had told her that it was no problem.

now she was laying on your bed talking to enzo, who, you were pretty sure, was at theo's.

you now regreted telling her that it wouldn't be a problem, considering they had been talking for the last hour or so.

you sighed, deeply, before you decided that there was only one way to get your friend back. you took the blog from your desk and scribbled the words down, before you hung it in your window.

as if he had waited for you to write something, theo stood in front of the window and read your message.

do something you had written, featuring at least 7 exclamation marks.

theo looked at you as if you had gone crazy. why should i do anything to help you?

because i bet enzo is just as annoying, isn't he?

theo only spotted a face that made an answer from him unnecessary. he just nodded and walked away.

"oh, already?" you could hear april ask behind you "no, it's fine. i get it, i'll be waiting" and with that she ended the call.

"i'll be waiting?" you asked, with a quirked brow.

"that was embarrassing wasn't it? i should've just said bye like a normal person"

"well, you're not a normal person" you smiled "and i don't think that you could do anything to make him leave you alone at this point"

"you really think so?"

"of course i do, april" you sat down beside her "why did he have to leave so suddenly?" you tried to not sound suspicious, but you were really curious what theo had done to get enzo off his very important call. luckily, april hadn't even noticed what you had been doing.

"band practice" she shrugged "theo is a strict boss"

"i bet" you mumbled while your eyes were still fixated on the piece of paper in his window. why should i do anything to help you? catapulting you right back to the night a year ago. you shuddered at the thought of it and tried to ban it from your head as fast as possible. theo was a constant reminder of your mistakes and maybe it wasn't him you hated but the realization of fault that hit you anytime your eyes fell on him.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the garage was filled with thick air that had been warmed all day as the sun beamed down tremendously. theo rubbed the sweat off his forehead as he sat his bag down inside.

enzo walked to the couch to open his guitar case. he halted in his motion and the rest of his friends perked up at his lack of movement.

"no, enzo" blaise muttered "not again, come on"

"it did not do it on purpose" enzo turned around to face his friends and theo looked around his body to confirm what he basically already knew.

"where's your head at?" draco's tone matched the annoyance that was bubbling in theo's chest.

"is that a serious question?" matt laughed "it's deep under april's skirt"

"matt" enzo sighed as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"april hart?" blaise asked "the one you've had a crush on since she moved here in first grade?" enzo nodded and blaise laughed "that's what i call consistancy, mate"

enzo would've probably laughed if it weren't for the bitter look the bands' leader was still spotting. "are you angry?"

theo sighed. "it's the third time you forgot it, enz"

"i know, i'm sorry, theo" enzo brushed a hand through his hair, before he turned in draco's direction “can i lend your car and get it, please? i won't take long"

"are you kidding me?" draco asked humourless "my mother is gonna kill me if something happens to that car. i'll drive"

"i'll come with ya" mattheo stood up from the couch.

"why don't we just all go?" theo asked sarcastically.

"yeah, why not?" blaise smiled, not catching that theo was just making a joke.

"no, i meant-" the group was already walking out to the car and theo just accepted his fate. "why not" he mumbled before he got in the back seat.

enzo was sitting in the middle of him and blaise, while mattheo had been able to plant his arse on the passenger seat next to draco, who was already setting the car back.

"it's so silent" mattheo mumbled "why don't we listen to some good music" he grabbed a cd from his pocket and just a second after, the loud drums and guitar of blood//water, the first song on cursed legacy's debut album floated through the car.

the boys broke into cheering. "you made a cd?" draco asked smiling, while mattheo nodded proudly.

"old school" enzo grinned, but clapped mattheo's shoulder nonetheless.

"hey" draco said harshly "you stay back there" he pushed enzo back into his seat. "i told you guys to hold him" he looked into the mirror and found theo's eyes, who looked not entirely happy, but did as he was told.

the seatbelt of the middle seat in draco's mums car had been broken for a while. she had originally forbidden them from riding in the car with five people, but draco tended to ignore her rule, even if he normally was quite fussy about anything happening to the car, banning drinks and food completely. but theo's car was still getting fixed by his uncle, so it was their only option.

"while we're on the topic of the band" blaise said "did you call that guy back? the one from the record label?" he asked theo.

theo smiled "i did, yeah. thats what i originally wanted to talk to you all about, but enzo was busy talking to the demon's bestie"

"demon is a rather harsh word" draco muttered.

"aren't you guys a bit too old to upkeep that childish feud?" mattheo asked. "you used to tell her everything and now you're not even saying a word about the record label thing"

"i really thought you guys would go back to normal after everything with leo" enzo added and all heads turned to him.

"i told you not to mention him" theo said angrily and enzo slumped down in his seat.

"it's been a year, mate" draco’s eyes found theo's in the mirror.

"it doesn't matter" theo shook his head, before he abruptly changed the topic. "he wants to see us, as the preact of some band in six weeks"

"the record guy? really?" mattheo perked up "thats like super soon"

"he seemed really excited" theo shrugged "this could be our chance guys. we get that deal and in less than a year we're off to america or tokyo and probably recording our second album, while already writing the third"

"as long as our little shakespeare keeps working that won't be a problem" blaise ruffled theo's hair, his hands letting go of enzo, while theo was busy slapping his friends hands away, hence why he also let go of the younger boy in the middle.

"hey! what did i tell you?" draco full on turned around in his seat.

the next three seconds happened all at once. mattheo was the first who screamed. it had taken draco less than a second of not looking to effectively drive off the street and in the direction of the nearest tree. draco turned around alarmed, swerving the car to the side, luckily not driving frontal into the tree. he stopped the car at the same time, what would've been fine, if blaise and theo had held on to enzo again, or if his seatbelt had simply been working.

he went flying trough the car, mattheo's arm darting to the side, to stop enzo flying through the car's windshield. sadly, his force wasn't enough and enzo still hit the dashboard quite hard, but at least he stayed inside the car.

"ow" enzo cried, holding his arm.

"shit, shit, shit" draco muttered under his breath. "is anyone hurt? are you all fine?" his voice broke.

"blaise and i are fine" theo said quickly to calm his friend "but enzo.." all eyes turned to enzo who was laying in the middle of the car, between mattheo and draco, who was staring down at him wide-eyed.

mattheo excused himself to call an ambulance.

"this is all my fault" draco brushed a few tears away from his cheeks "i should've just given him the car, or gotten the guitar on my own, i should've never-" he was interrupted by theo.

"it isn't your fault, draco" he assured "blaise and i let go of enzo in the first place, it was our job to keep him safe and we got distracted"

"i shouldn't have screamed at you like that" draco put his head on the steering wheel, trying to hide the stress on his face.

"theo is right, mate" blaise added "it's on us"

it seemed like draco wasn't even hearing him. "i will probably lose my license"

"you won't" enzo muttered through clenched teeth "we'll say there was a deer"

"i'm so sorry, enz" draco excused, it seemed like he only remembered now that enzo was still laying in the middle, holding his arm. "does it hurt badly? i actually don't care about the license, they can take it, as long as you're fine"

"i think my arm is broken" enzo held up his right arm, which was bloody and looked like it wasn't supposed to be formed the way it was right now.

"shit, enz" draco rubbed a hand through his face, before he quickly opened the door and threw up on the floor.

"the ambulence will be here in ten minutes" mattheo said, as he poked his head through the door. "what is he doing?" he wondered once his eyes fell on draco, who was still hanging half out of the car.

"puking" enzo, blaise and theo chorused.

"gross" mattheo shuddered, before he opened the backdoor of the car. "you guys should come outside, so the medical team can assist enzo better. we shouldn't move him"

"yeah" theo nodded, while he pushed blaise out of the car.

“why did i have to come with you again?” you were walking from the parking spot to the entry of the hospital.

“because someone had to drive the car” april pointed to the phone in her hand, which she had used to try and call enzo the entire way here. her hadn’t picked up so she insisted on visiting him, but not without a few different sorts of chocolate (she wasn’t sure which he liked) and flowers.

“yeah i get that, totally” you rolled your eyes, so that she wouldn’t see “but do i really have to come inside?”

“i need moral support”

“you’re not the one who broke his arm”

“enzo might be happy to see more than one friendly face”

“it’s not like he’s laying on his death bed, april” you nudged her arm “i’m sure he comes home today, we could’ve just gone to his house tomorrow”

“i want to see him”

“okay, fine” you groaned, but followed her inside, where she was already leaning half over the receptionists desk.

“how can i help you?” the lady was rather unimpressed by april’s eagerness.

“we’re here to see enzo, ehh lorenzo berkshire” she quickly corrected.

the woman raised her eyebrows, before she started tapping words into her computer.

“pixie?” a voice called and your head turned to the side. you tried many times not to react to the name, but you sometimes couldn’t help it. theo had been consistent for the last ten years so it was in your nature.

“mattheo” you greeted.

the dark haired boy was holding two cups of what looked like coffee. “they belong to me” he told the lady at the reception. “i’m lorenzo’s brother, i came with the ambulance, you remember?” he waited for some kind of confirmation, but she was already busy with something else, easily going back to ignoring you.

mattheo made a gesture for you to follow him down the hall. “pretty unfortunate, heh?” he grinned awkwardly.

“it’s horrible” april declared “i mean how is he supposed to play? he told me something about a record deal that you guys might get”

“yeah” mattheo looked to the ground, before he changed the topic. “he will be so happy to see you” he smiled at april and april mirrored his expression.

mattheo halted in front of a door. “could one of you..?” he trailed off, as he looked down at the cups in his hands.

“oh of course” april said quickly.

“i should maybe stay outside” you held the flowers and the chocolate in april’s direction, who raised her eyebrows.

“are you kidding?” mattheo laughed unimpressed “of course you’re coming inside. enzo will be ecstatic to see you both”

“her? sure, but me?” you asked unsurely “also, theo is probably in there, so i don’t-“

“he will behave himself” mattheo promised “come on, pixie”

you send him a look. mattheo knew about the nickname as long as it existed and he would only call you that sometimes. theo used it to make fun of you, but when mattheo said it, he meant it in a friendly way. you all had grown up together, naturally as you lived so close and in a small town. for mattheo, pixie was not in insult, but the last bit of proof that you had been friends once. after theo and you had fallen out, you had automatically fallen out with all the boys.

sometimes it hurt you to remember. remember how you and mattheo had spent hours listening to sherlock holmes and climbing trees. or how you had helped draco to read as he was having problems, days when you were washing gum out of blaise’s hair and taught enzo to tie his shoelaces. and theo, theo had always been where you were, he was never far. and everything had slipped away in a single night.

but it was too late to make amends. mattheo knew that as good as you. maybe you all could stop fighting, but go back to normal? probably never.

“hey” enzo raised both his arms when he noticed april and you walk in behind mattheo. “ow” he muttered.

blaise and draco were sitting on chairs on either side of enzo’s bed. theo was standing a bit away from the rest of his friends, leaning against the window.

“what is she doing here?” theo stepped forward when his eyes fell on you.

“hey, don’t talk to my guest that way” enzo pushed theo back, so he was leaning against the window again.

“april needed some help carrying all this” you opened your arms, displaying the different sorts of chocolate and flowers.

“how are you feeling?” april asked, slowly touching enzo’s cheek. “does it still hurt?”

you could practically see the flip switch in enzo’s head, as he realized how much she cared.

“a bit” he said dramatically and his voice dropped a whole octave. “but i think i’ll live”

you exchanged a look with mattheo, who raised his eyebrows at his little brothers dramatics.

“how long do you have to wear the cast?” you asked, while you put the chocolate down on the night stand. blaise immediately took one of them.

“hey that’s for me!” enzo protested.

“we need emotional leverage” blaise rolled his eyes, before he unpacked the chocolate and bit a whole piece off. he then held it in draco’s direction, who took it and started nibbling on it like a mouse.

enzo sighed before he looked back at you “between four and twelve weeks”

“shit” april deadpanned “what about the record deal?”

“okay, are you guys really getting one or are all of you in on a bit i don’t know about?” you wondered. there had been a few too many mentions of a possible record deal.

“no” mattheo shook his head smiling “there’s this guy from the label and he wanted to see us at the preact for a band who plays in the concert hall outside the town in six weeks”

“we can forget about that now” draco whined.

“that’s shit” you looked down “i’m sorry, that’s really awful”

“don’t act like you’re not making internal jumps of joy” theo spoke for the first time since you had entered. “you hated the band from the minute we..” he paused and cleared his throat, before he added “continued”

“you really think i’m that big of an asshole?”

“come on, theo” blaise added “don’t be like this now”

“it must be the first point on that little to do list of yours, huh? what do you want to hear? you were right? we’ll never get famous”

“shut up” you shook your head at him.

“stop fucking lying about the way you feel about my band”

“mate” draco tried to push theo back, who was walking closer to you.

april and enzo were exchanging worried glances as they noticed the tears building up in your eyes.

“theo” mattheo stepped next to his friend, laying a hand on his chest, to hopefully calm him down.

“why did you even come here?”

“i’m only here because of april and enzo” you said between clenched teeth “now stop acting like i’m here to laugh about your misery”

“the band could’ve made it big”

“i know” you simply said.

the others were following the discussion between you attentively, turning their heads, like a tennis match, from side to side, whenever one of you spoke.

“my band could’ve made it big”

you looked up at theo with teary eyes, before you nodded, once, finally. then you turned to look at april. “i’ll walk home” you turned to enzo “get well soon, enzo”

“thank you” enzo replied breathless.

you send one last look in theo’s direction, who gulped as he saw the tears flowing over your cheeks, before you left the room.

“what?” theo asked as he turned around and noticed the angry looks of his friends.

“was that really necessary?” mattheo sighed. “she came here because of enzo, knowing well that you would be here. she wanted to wait outside and i convinced and even told her that you would behave this time”

“you really are mentally seven aren’t you?” blaise asked and theo felt bad that he made your visit to enzo all about himself.

“you know how i feel about seeing her”

“how could we not?” draco muttered “you make it clear over and over again”

“it doesn’t matter anyway, the record deal is through and we can just stop being a band now” theo sank to his knees.

april and enzo exchanged a look, before enzo cleared his throat. “technically you just need a stand in for me”

“what?” theo looked up.

“it’s not over, theo” enzo said “you just need to find someone who can play the parts, or at least learn them in six weeks and after my arm is alright i can come back”

“he’s not wrong” blaise nodded “we just need to bag that deal and the rest is not important right now”

“okay, who?” theo deadpanned “you’re incredible on the guitar, who could we possibly find to be just as good?”

“you know that there is someone who was better” enzo looked down in his lap. the rest of the group grew silent too.

“what has that to do with anything?” theo asked defensively.

april turned her head to look at the dark haired boy. “he taught her” she said. “everything”

“what?” theo asked, not believing what he was hearing right now. “what are you saying?”

“we’re saying that you should ask y/n” draco put it simply.

“absolutely not” theo shook his head “i’m sure we can find someone else”

“you just said that there was no one good enough to stand in for me” enzo noted “she might be our best option”

“even if he taught her” theo added “that was over a year ago, who says that she even still plays anymore?”

“she does” april muttered “she’s good, really good”

theo sighed.

“just ask her, mate” mattheo, who had mostly stayed silent, clapped a hand on his best friends shoulder. “we need this record deal”

“i know” theo sighed.

“she’s a slow walker” april pointed to the door and theo raised his eyebrows.

“go!” his friends all chorused when he did not move. he left the room.

“beg her on your knees if you have to!” mattheo called behind theo, before the door fell closed.

“do you really think she’ll help us?”

“i honestly don’t know” april shrugged “but i’m sure theo has to find a way to go even lower than just his knees if he really wants to beg her”

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

(i have problems tagging some of you, maybe check your setting and make sure you’ve allowed people to tag you!!)

leave a comment if you would like to be added/removed from the taglist!

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you agree to theo’s ask, on your on terms, and the tension continues to rise

warnings: height difference mentioned, i have zero idea how to play a guitar or how hard certain songs are to play so just act like anything i say is the truth haha

notes: i really love them so much! i haven’t been inspired by writing in such a long time! i hope you like it as much as i do!!

previous part | masterlist | next part

you had wiped away the tears as soon as you had walked out of the hospital, straightening your back and thinking about which direction would be smarter to walk in.

you would come home no matter what, this small town was basically a circle, it was just the question of which way would be faster. you weren't keen on walking longer than necessary.

"forgot the way home?" a voice beside you made your head turn.

"what do you want?" you asked annoyed as you saw theo walk closer to you "i'm leaving, okay? you don't have to try to get rid of me anymore"

"pixie, i didn't mean it like that" he sighed and tried to touch your arm, but you turned your body away from him.

"i know exactly how you meant that" you protested "and i don't know what you still want now. you won, okay? you won ages ago, but you're the one who always picks a fight"

"pixie" theo muttered and you could hear the regret in his voice.

"don't call me that"

"y/n" he said and you looked up in surprise. you couldn't remember when your name had last left his mouth. "i'm sorry"

you raised your eyebrows. "you're sorry?" you repeated, almost laughing. "i don't think i ever heard you say that before"

you wanted to go home, so you just decided on a random direction and started walking, to your luck, theo was following you.

"okay, get to the point, nott" you demanded "what do you want from me?"

theo sighed once again, understanding that there was no way he could trick you into agreeing, he just had to ask. "i need your help, i mean, we need your help"

"you need my help?" you repeated skeptically. "is that one of your awful pranks again?"

"no" theo shook his head. "i promise it's not"

"okay, then lets hear what you need"

"enzo can't play the concert"

"i know as much"

"yeah, sorry" theo brushed a hand through his hair, unsure how he should ask you.

"there is that word again" you pointed a finger to his face. he gently pushed your hand away. "i could get used to this"

"yeah, don't flatter yourself" theo mumbled aggravated.

"there he is" you laughed sarcastically.

"we need a guitarist" theo came straight to the point "april says you play.." he paused, unsure how to finish his sentence "good"

"you want me to play guitar for you?"

"not for me" theo tried to rephrase it "for the band, the boys"

"why should i do that?"

"i know you hate me, pixie. but you don't hate them, do you?" he almost sounded like he was pleading.

"thanks to you i'm not really friends with them anymore, theo" you remarked bitterly "they were my friends just as much as yours and they still sided with you"

"it's my fault, okay?" theo said helplessly "is it that what you want to hear? that i was childish enough to poison your relationships?"

"that's just it, theo" you shook your head "i don't want to hear anything from you anymore, but you keep on talking, keep on writing songs. why can't you let go of things?"

"you know i need to write to cope"

"yeah, i know" you nodded your head "but anytime i hear one of your stupid songs it physically hurts. you might be able to cope through your writing, but i will never be able to do that"

"it's one song, pixie" theo rolled his eyes.

"so you admit that you wrote pixie dream girl about me?"

"that's not the point" theo argued.

"oh, yes it is" you laughed, while you quickened your steps, so theo had it harder to keep up with you, even if he was taller.

"okay, fine" theo sighed "pixie dream girl is about you"

"i know" you smiled "what about daddy issues?"

theo send you a painful look, almost as if you were torturing him with your question.

"do you want me to play guitar or not?"

"daddy issues is about you too" he finally muttered.

"thank you. now, was that so hard?"

theo send you a look. “will you help us?”

"i'll think about it" you patted theo's shoulder, before you continued walking away. he thankfully caught the hint and stayed where he was.

"not too long" he called behind you and you just raised your hand, showing him your middle finger.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

theo ran into april when he walked back to enzo's room.

"you're leaving already?" he asked surprised.

"yeah" april shrugged "i want to look after y/n and enzo's coming out this evening, i'll come back to his then"

"okay"

"what did she say?"

"she'll think about it"

"she didn't say no?" april wondered and theo shook his head "huh, i thought she would, after everything.." she shook her head, as if to get rid of that thought "you should feel lucky, theo"

"i do" he quickly nodded. "see you, april"

"bye, theo"

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

you were staring at the ceiling as the sudden sound of the door made you look up.

"hey" april smiled, as she closed your door behind her "your mum let me in"

"did she get up for once" you nodded with fake impress.

"y/n" april sighed and you could hear the pity in her voice.

"don't" you shook your head and effectively shut her up "how's enzo? how much longer does he have to stay in the hospital?"

"he's coming home tonight" she let herself fall on the chair in the corner of your room. "maybe you want to come and visit him with me later?"

"after everything that happened today? i'll pass, but thank you"

"enzo promised that it'll be just him and mattheo"

you sighed "i'll think about it"

"i really see no reason why you and the rest of the boys just can't stay friends, y/n"

"theo is the reason we can't" you noted "i think it's better for all of us if we keep a distance between us"

"that's gonna be hard if you play for his band"

you sighed deeply "you're in on this too?"

"actually it was enzo's and my idea" she admitted as she looked anywhere but you "you're the only one who is as good as him and you're able to play most of the notes"

"yeah" you sank back down "but i don't know if i really want to. i mean theo is still theo, he can try to be nice all he wants, but he will never get out of his skin"

"the rest of the boys will make sure that he behaves himself" april promised "mattheo told me himself"

"mattheo told me the same today and you know how it ended"

"sometimes you two are a real mystery to me" she muttered "you know each other so well, well enough to know which buttons to push. he can make you cry with only a few words, it's scary"

"you said it" you pointed your hand in her direction "he never knows when it's enough"

"and you do?" she laughed "you're just as bad as him. you should've seen the look in his eyes as soon as you left the room. it's like you both can't be with or without the other"

"i don't know what you're talking about" you shook your head.

"you always say that you just want him to stop speaking to you, but i can see how much you enjoy these discussions, even if you're just fighting. you missed him and this is the only way you can spend time with him"

"that's not true, april"

"yes it is, sweetheart" april said softly "why don't you just tell him that you miss being his friend? everything could just go back to normal, if just one of you makes the first step"

"it's not as easy" you argued "too much happened, things you don't know, things i can't speak about. it's too late to rekindle anything"

"y/n, if it's about le-"

"please just let it go"

"okay" she nodded, accepting your wish "but what are you going to do? will you help them?"

"yes" you nodded "i mean the rest of the boys didn't do anything, right? and i don't want to poision your and enzo's relationship before it even began"

april smiled while her cheeks turned bright red "i hate you" she laughed and you just shrugged, before you stood up from the bed and took the blog, writing a message for theo.

i'll do it. but only under certain conditions. mattheo will receive the list later

"happy?" you asked april, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"yes" she giggled "now let's sort out your conditions"

it didn't take you long to come up with the things that had to change for you to start helping them. april had, surprisingly, a few ideas herself, (april is allowed to watch the rehearsals), making your list three points long.

you accompanied her later to visit enzo, which was, admittedly, a bit unnecessary considering she had already visited him in the hospital, but it seemed like both her and enzo deemed it important for his survival.

luckily, april had been right. it had only been enzo and mattheo. they both were smiling widely as you told them that you would help. enzo promised you to be there for every rehearsal (let alone because april would be) to help you learn the songs the way he played them.

mattheo seemed to enjoy the way you were nicer to him when theo wasn't around. you had always liked him, he was easy to get along with, but the last year you had learned not to enjoy his teasing and joking personality. you apologized for the day before, realizing that you had been quite harsh and that he really thought you would find the song funny.

maybe you would’ve had, but a lot had changed and mattheo understood that you couldn't find humour in it right now.

they promised to show your list to the rest of the band and tell you in school how and when rehearsals would start.

april and you left after two hours and you could tell she was beaming. in her opinion, playing in the band meant that all of you would be friends again and the hope alone was enough for her.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

"here it is" mattheo held the folded piece of paper in theo's direction.

"be honest, mate" theo said "is it manageable?"

"it is" enzo said. he was sitting on the stone wall in the middle of draco and blaise. mattheo was standing next to theo in front of them.

"okay" theo sighed, before he unfolded the paper. "y/n's conditions under which she will safe theo's petty little-" he held the paper in mattheo's direction "i'm not reading this"

mattheo giggled, before he cleared his throat as soon as theo send him a look. "y/n's conditions under which she will safe theo's petty little-"

"you can skip the beginning" theo interrupted "just get to the point"

"fine" mattheo rolled his eyes "rule one: april is allowed to watch the rehearsals"

"yeah, fine, whatever" theo nodded, while enzo was practically jumping up and down. "anyone has a problem with that?" the three other shook their heads and mattheo continued reading.

"rule two: theo is civil”

“can you do that?” enzo wanted to know and theo nodded reluctantly.

“okay and the final rule: we can’t play pixie dream girl”

“sounds alright” blaise shrugged.

“what do you say theo?” draco asked as he noticed the priors facial expression.

“we can’t do the third one” theo explained between clenched teeth.

“what?” enzo asked “why not?”

“when i talked to mr fraser on the phone i showed it to him and he made me promise that it’s one of the tracks we play”

“okay” mattheo shrugged “then you just call him and tell him that we can’t play it”

“he said it’s important that we play it because it’ll impress his boss. we got many streams on the song and it’ll make us stand out against the other bands”

“fuck” draco jumped from the stone wall. “can’t you find a way to play?”

“yeah” enzo shrugged "i'll just play with my feet, no problem, draco”

“let’s all calm down” blaise said, trying to diffuse the situation.

"it's seems important to her that we don't play the song" enzo remarked.

"yeah" mattheo muttered.

"okay, what if we just not tell her? i mean six weeks is a long time, maybe she'll say yes when we ask her later?" blaise suggested.

"that might not be the worst idea" mattheo nodded "maybe if we'll be able to be friends again, she might play the song"

"it's worth a try, right?" draco asked in theo's direction.

"i don't know" enzo shook his head "she will absolutely hate us when she finds out we lied to her. she'll feel betrayed"

"it's just a song" draco crossed his arms "what's her problem?"

"i am" theo shrugged "and the song reminds her of that. fuck" he groaned.

"what do we do, boss?" mattheo asked "do we lie to her? she might understand it once we tell her it was our only chance"

"i tell her we accept her rules" theo nodded as he gripped the paper from mattheo "not one word from any of you, you hear me? this is our only chance to get that stupid record deal and if it means to work with the enemy we will do that"

"the enemy" mattheo rolled his eyes "you're getting dramatic again, theodore"

"you know what i mean"

before anyone could agree to his terms, april and you walked up behind the boys.

"hey" april greeted and immediately stepped into the emptys space next to enzo where draco had sat.

"hi" you said, a lot less happy "how does it look?"

"we accept your rules" theo nodded "rehearsals are every tuesday, thursday and saturday at five. we have to rehearse a lot if we want that record deal"

"great" you nodded "how much time will we have on stage?"

"fourty-five minutes" theo answered "i'd say we try to rehearse all ten songs before we decide on those that we want to play"

"not including pixie dream girl, right?"

"right" he nodded.

"great" you smiled "then we have a deal" you held your hand in his direction, so you could finalize everything with a handshake.

"yes" theo nodded "do you have a guitar or do you need enzo's?"

"i have one" you nodded, before you excused yourself, so you would be on time for your first class of the day.

the next time that you saw all of them was during the first official rehearsal on saturday. you had spent the entire friday searching for old notes forba few of the songs that you still owned somewhere. theo had given you the missing ones when you had stood in front of his door in the evening and you had tried to play as much as possible and it was admittedly not working bad.

"hey" you greeted the boys when april and you walked into the garage. april slumped down on the couch next to enzo as if someone had held a gun in her direction and you looked between draco and blaise. "where should i stand?"

blaise directed you to the empty space next to the microphone stand.

"where are matt and theo?" april asked and you perked up. you would have rather died than asked yourself, but you were still wondering.

"they're on their way" draco answered "mattheo made a few cds to hand out to people and they are getting them right now"

"cool" april nodded impressed.

"you're only now making cds?" you asked surprised "isn't that like one of the first things bands normally do?”

"generally, yeah" enzo nodded "but in a time like this, most people only listen on streaming platforms so we never really saw the need for it"

"now that we're getting more known, it's more professional" blaise added.

"okay" you nodded "i get it"

"bonjourno" mattheo waved as soon as him and theo entered the room a few minutes later.

"french?" enzo wondered.

"that's italian, sweetheart" you could hear april mutter next to him. you giggled into your hand as you noticed the lovesick look enzo was now sending in her direction.

"you're so smart, april"

"are you ready?" theo asked you, once he took his stance behind the microphone.

"sure" you shrugged, before you took the guitar and plugged it in.

"we'll start with blood//water. the notes should be relatively easy to play"

theo counted and pointed in your direction as soon as it was time for the guitar part to set in. just shortly after, theo began singing. you of course had heard him sing before. you had listened to the songs, but you had never heard him so clear, so raw.

we'll never get free lamb to the slaughter what you gon' do when there's blood in the water? the price of your greed is your son and your daughter what you gon' do when there's blood in the water?

you switched your fingers, picking up the pace of the melody as soon as the pre-chorus set in again. mattheo was changing between playing the bass and clapping his hands. draco was making quick movements on the keyboard, changing the setting to let it make different sound effects and blaise was hitting the drums so hard, your ears almost blew off.

but despite all that you could only focus on theo and the sound of his voice. the way it looked so effortless and hard at the same time. as the pre-chorus ended and the chorus set in, he was full on screaming into the microphone, the veins on his neck showing the strength his voice was using.

i am the people, i am the storm i am the riot, i am the swarm when the last tree's fallen the animal can't hide money won't solve it what's your alibi? what's your alibi? what's your alibi?

when there's blood in the water

when the song ended, april began to clap. "that was amazing!" she complimented "blood//water is my favorite song on the album"

"thank you" mattheo smiled "you were really great, y/n"

"thanks" you nodded "i think this one is one of the easier chord compressions"

"the next song would be daddy issues" theo looked in your direction expectingly.

"do we have to play that one?" you asked "i mean it's so slow and you won't probably play it anyway"

"she has a point" mattheo shrugged.

"i think we should play all the songs" theo argued "so that we can change the setlist until the last minute"

"good point" blaise nodded.

"come on, guys" enzo, who saw the discomfort on your face added "y/n is right, it's way too slow"

"boss?" mattheo looked to theo.

"we should at least play it this once" you sighed as you noticed that theo wasn't going to budge.

"okay" mattheo nodded "you ready? i think the chords are quite easy for this one too"

you were looking straight across the room, but nodded at his words.

theo counted again and you started playing the chords on the paper in front of you. maybe this wasn't as bad as you thought. you would just have to concentrate and blend out theo as much as possible.

take you like a drug i taste you on my tongue

theo's voice almost made you shiver. you moved your fingers along the guitar.

and you might have to tell me again it's crazy what you'll do for a friend

you had listened to the song about a million times after it had come out, but now it was like you were hearing it for the first time. and the softness in theo's voice was going to break your heart, you were sure.

you didn't know if the rest of the boys knew the song was about. you were guessing that only enzo was slowly getting the idea, as he was the only one who had noticed how uncomfortable you had gotten once theo mentioned it.

you doubted that the others new. theo wasn't one to run around and tell everyone what the meaning behind his songs were. you were sure they knew only half the things theo knew and you were glad for that.

go ahead and cry, little girl nobody does it like you do i know how much it matters to you i know that you got daddy issues

you thought back to days in the backyard of your house. how theo came climbing up into the treehouse and would just sit next to you for hours.

when you felt brave you would cry in his lap, but sometimes you weren't able to and theo understood you in a way that no one else did.

he had brushed your hair aside, whispering about the future, wonderland, something that did not sound like it could be real, at least not to you.

he told stories about a world in which your dad was better. a world in which he loved you as much as you loved him, as much as he loved-

go ahead and cry, little boy you know that your daddy did too you know what your mama went through you gotta let it out soon, just let it out

maybe there had been a time where he hadn't planned to use that song against you. a time where he wanted to show it to you so it could console you and your pain. now it just felt like ammunition in an ongoing war.

you were still staring at the wall across from you as a few tears slipped over your cheeks.

and if you were my little girl i'd do whatever I could do i'd run away and hide with you i know that you got daddy issues

you took off the guitar as soon as the song had ended, breathing a shaky breath. "could we take a break?" you asked theo, who, if you weren't mistaken, looked a bit guilty now that he saw the look on your face.

"sure" mattheo answered, while theo continued to stare at you. "are you alright?" he touched your shoulder and it took everything in you not to start full on crying at the gentleness in his voice.

"let's sit down" draco sighed.

"do you want to see the cd?" mattheo smiled and you nodded as you quickly wiped over your eyes.

he held it in your direction and you smiled as you recognized the cover that they had used on spotify. "it looks amazing"

"turn it around" mattheo advised and you did as you were told.

your breath hitched as you saw the photo on the back.

theo cleared his throat at the lack of reaction from you "that's"

"leo" you finished "i know" your fingers gently moved over the boys back. you recognized the white shirt, the black trousers and the bracelet on his left arm. you were wearing a matching one.

"the photo is from last year" mattheo explained "from when theo and leo wrote most of the songs. i thought it would be the perfect one to show who we are"

"it is" you nodded "thank you" you looked up at mattheo and he gulped as he noticed the tears in your eyes. you held the cd in his direction before you stood up. "i need a breath of fresh air"

you walked out of the garage and sat down on the bench in front of the lake. you sat there for ten minutes before you decided it was time to return back inside. 

mattheo had told his friends to settle down and end the rehearsal for today, much to theo's dismay, who basically tried to kill you with his eyes when you came back inside. 

"i don't get why we have to stop" theo muttered "we only got through two songs. what got your knickers in a twist, huh?" he turned his head to look at you, but instead of rushing away, you returned his angry look. 

"you" you said with a roll of your eyes "the rule was to be civil and you're acting like an idiot, theodore" 

theo laughed at that and you were even more angry. 

"fuck you, mr rockstar" you held up your middle finger. 

"i'd love to see you try, miss stuck up" 

you looked at april betrayed when you heard her giggle. 

"even your friend agrees with me" your head snapped to the side. 

you stepped closer to the boy, until you were only a few centimeters apart. the others watched you with big eyes. "do you want to repeat that, darling?"

you could see theo gulp at the proximity, before he quickly caught himself and smirked down at you. "are you trying to kiss me, baby?" 

"no, but seems like you are thinking about kissing me, sweetheart"

mattheo sighed loudly and both you and theo turned your heads, only realizing now that you were the center of attention. 

"that was kinda hot" blaise muttered under his breath and was immediately elbowed by draco, who did not take his eyes off of theo and you. 

"shut up" theo said quickly and you had the sudden need to defend blaise, just because it would get a rise out of theo. 

"seems like your friend agrees with me" you crossed your arms and smiled provocatively "you totally have the hots for me" 

"i hate you"

"finally something we can agree on" you grinned, before you turned around and grabbed your bag. "bye" 

the rest of the group said goodbye while they were still astounished at how you had basically won a fight against theo. 

"oh shut up" theo said quickly, when you had left the room and blaise opened his mouth. 

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐢'𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲)

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the line between lust and hate is awfully slim between theo and you, resulting in something that changes everything between the two of you

warnings: (like massive) spoilers for the great gatsby, mentions of sex, cursing, let me know if i missed anything else

notes: i’m just gonna quickly leave this here hehe

previous part | masterlist | next part

monday felt like you had woken up in a different world. cursed legacy had made it their personal task to spend their time with you, much to yours and theo’s dismay.

they treated you like you were their friend again and while you had to admit that you didn't hate that, you still hated theo and being their friend meant being in his presence the entire time.

it started during math-, when enzo and mattheo decided to sit down in between april and you. leaving no other option but for their friends to follow behind them,- and reached it’s peak during english.

it was the only class that mattered to you, like really mattered to you. you knew it did to theo too, so you couldn’t understand how he had to ruin everything. atleast all had gone great, until the end. then all hell had broken loose.

"okay, we don't have too much time left" mrs walker said with a look to the clock "but i do have one last question: do you think daisy and mr gatsby should've ended up together?"

you raised your hand and mrs walker nodded. "yes, y/n?"

"i don't think so" you said honestly "i don't think they should've been involved with each other in the first place. i get that she had a shitty husband and she should've definitely left him, but she was at fault for everything that went wrong in gatsby's life and her loved her too much to realize that"

"thank you" mrs walker nodded before she gave the word to theo.

you turned your head in surprise. you hadn't even noticed him raising his hand. honstely, you had thought that he didn't even read the book in the first place.

"i disagree" he said.

"what a wonder" you muttered under you breath.

"daisy was everything he always wanted. she was the green light at the end of the peer and he might've been blinded by love, but isn't that what love is about? being so blinded that you would do anything for your person?"

you raised your eyebrows and send a look in theo's direction. you noticed that draco was wearing a similiar look as his eyes glided back and fourth between theo and the book in his hands, probably wondering if they had read the same story.

"sorry" you raised your arm "you could be right, but your're not"

mattheo beside you snorted.

"gatsby threw everything away for a woman that loved him for a short while before she went back to another man. he could've easily found someone better"

"maybe he didn't want to" theo was talking to you directly now "maybe it was enough for him to love her from afar"

"then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake" you argued "instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

theo's chair scrapped over the floor when he stood up. you could see the anger in his eyes and stood up from your chair as well.

"you don't know what you're talking about" theo was not far from screaming "he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored"

"that's what you took from this story?" you laughed in disbelief "did we read the same book?" you caught blaise and draco hecticly turning pages as if they were asking themselves the same thing. enzo and april exchanged glances and the smirk on mattheo's face died.

"because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband"

"she had no other choice" theo screamed.

"she had plenty of choices, theo" you screamed back.

"stop! the both of you!" mrs walker screamed.

all eyes turned to her. theo and you sank down in your seats defeated.

"both of you, detention" mrs walker said, right before the bell rang out.

you sighed as you packed up your things and grabbed the detention slip from her, before you left the room.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

detention was not the kind of activity you would normally choose to do during your day, but here you were, holding a cleaning cloth and a bucket, while theo was holding the broom. you were standing in one of the classrooms, that hadn’t been used for these past few years.

"alright" mr platt clapped his hands. he was a bit too excited about your detention, particulary because he had a one sided feud with theo, who was always a bit too sassy in the janitors eyes. "you're gonna clean this entire room. you have two hours-" he was interrupted by his ringing phone, which he picked up as he walked away from the both of you.

"this is all your fault" you whispered.

theo huffed. “that’s rich”

“is it?” you wondered “because it’s always you that has to ruin everything”

“calm down, pixie” theo shook his head “i thought you were smarter than this”

“i have to admit i thought you were too, but then you proved me wrong in english and here we are”

“shut the fuck-“

mr platt turned back around and both you and theo put on an innocent smile.

“i have to get a few things for the school banket next week. do you think you’ll be fine on your own?” he looked more in your direction than in theo’s.

“of course, don’t worry, mr platt” you smiled and the janitor nodded relieved.

“alright, i will be back in two hours” he walked out of the room and theo turned his head to you.

“don’t worry, mr platt” he mocked in a high pitched voice. you rolled your eyes, before you slapped him with your cloth.

“come on, just start sweeping already”

to your annoyance and ultimately not to your surprise, theo sat down on one of the tables. “i’m not cleaning anything”

“mr platt just said—“

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed, pixie” he smiled “but i don’t really listen to the things mr pratt says”

you were ready to start fighting, until you remembered how you had gotten into this situation in the first place. this was your first detention and you would make sure that it would also stay the last.

you mindlessly started cleaning the tables around the room. when you were done with that, you filled the bucket with fresh water and cleaned the cloth in the sink until it was spotless again. then you walked across the room to take the broom.

"what are you doing?" theo pulled the broom away from you, when you tried to grab it.

"i'm doing what you should've done" you crossed your arms "i'm not gonna get in more trouble, because of you"

"i'm not giving it to you" theo said and you raised your brows.

"why do you even care? you're not gonna do it? okay, fine" you shrugged "but someone has to"

"it's not your fucking problem, pixie" theo pulled the broom further back "you did your task"

"why are you always so stubborn?" you tried to reach around him, but he pushed you back with his other hand "just give it to me"

"no" the bratty smile on his face made your blood boil.

in a few seconds of uncontrollable anger, you took the bucket, ready to drench him in the cold water you had just filled it up with. "give me the broom" you said once again, as if to give him a last chance.

"you wouldn't dare"

"oh i would" you nodded.

theo stayed unmoving and you raised the bucket from the ground, so that it was now hanging in the air between you. but theo was faster than you. he let go of the broom (which fell to the ground with a thud) before he ripped the bucket out of your hands, making water slip over the edge and directly onto your shirt.

"you fucking idiot!" you screamed, and turned away from the boy, once theo had put the bucket down on the table behind him.

"i actually did not mean to do that" he laughed "but it's pretty fucking funny"

"shut up" you started patting your chest with the cloth in an attempt to dry the water stain on your shirt. you did only make it worse.

you could hear theo giggle behind your back and swerved around, before you threw the cloth in his face. he was not as happy anymore when he took the cloth off his face and let it fall to the ground.

"what did you just do?"

you shrugged your shoulders "not like you didn't deserve that"

he stepped slowly closer "repeat that. i dare you"

you stepped back and he followed. your back hit the wall and he came closer.

"you deserved that" you muttered as you looked up at him. you could feel his hot breath on your cheek and thought about just pushing him back and slipping away, but you honestly doubted that you were stronger than him.

"you're very brave sweetheart" he smiled sarcastically.

you laughed humorless. "i fucking hate you"

theo smiled and the eye contact intensified.

"looks like you're having the hots for me now"

"fuck you, theo"

your breath hitched when he quickly pushed his lips against yours. it took you a second, but then you pulled him closer by his shirt, deepening the kiss.

theo's lips brushed against yours and you melted into his kiss, surrendering to the passion that consumed you both.

the kiss was like a storm, fierce and consuming, yet filled with a tenderness that left you breathless.

you had only kissed him once before, back when you were children. back when kissing was something disgusting and didn't make you feel the things you were feeling right now.

you whimpered when he pulled your head to the side with his hand and started kissing your neck.

"i loathe you" he muttered between kisses "but you look so fucking hot in that wet shirt"

you smiled triumphantly and saw your opportunity to push him backwards, away from the wall and to the teachers table. you connected your lips again, as you turned around and climbed on to the table. he stepped between your opened legs and rested his hands on your thighs as he moaned.

you gripped the hem of his shirt, he stepped back and helped you to pull it off, before you repeated the same process with your shirt. your hands pressed to his chest, while he kissed you and unhooked your bra.

you weren't proud of the things that happened next. and especially not of where it had happened.

when it was over, theo looked almost as regretful as you did.

"this was a mistake" you muttered, as he pulled down your shirt and gently fixed your hair. you weren't used to this side of him, not anymore. but even if you said the exact opposite, your were yearning for him.

"yeah" he nodded and then he frowned "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have-"

"-no, it's alright" you shook your head. this was worse than before, it was uncomfortable and awkward. you would've preferred him yelling at you, but the room grew silent as neither o you said a word.

"we can never do this again" he whispered, but it sounded more like he was telling it to himself.

"i know"

"and we can't tell anyone about this"

"i know"

"we're not good for each other" he said finally.

you wanted to say something, anything. it was like everything between you had just died with a simple touch. you almost missed the tension, because now there was just nothing. you tried to reach for his arm, but before you could do or say anything else, the door opened and theo stepped back from you.

"looks alright" mr platt nodded, once he had given the room a look. "you can go" he held the door open so you could walk through.

"bye" you said and mr platt nodded. "theo" you called, but the boy only quickened his step and left you standing alone in the entryhall of the school.

you sighed, before you decided that theo was right, you should just forget about everything that had happened. your relationship with him had not been anything else than hate lately and you had to admit he was right, it would never work, you weren't good for each other.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the shift in atmosphere did not go unnoticed by april or the rest of the boys. atleast not until the next saturday when she was spending the day with enzo and matt, chilling in their parent's basement before they head to the rehearsal later.

"have you noticed that theo and y/n have been acting weird lately?" april asked "i mean y/n's been totally denying it, but it's weird right?"

"for sure" mattheo nodded with big eyes "i'm glad you said something, i was dying to ask you"

"isn't that kind of normal?" enzo wondered "i mean for them to be weird?"

"you're not getting it the way we are!" mattheo criticized.

"okay, sorry" enzo raised his hands laughing until mattheo and april send him a look.

"i honestly always thought they would end up together" april admitted "and of course i hated the way their friendship evolved to constantly fighting with each other, but at least that was something. now they aren't even talking to each other"

"right?" mattheo pointed at the red-head "i always thought they were in love with each other, but then she dated that scumbag and leo, well" he left the sentence unfinished and the mood shifted.

"i thought the same" april patted mattheos shoulder. “i think what they have yet to realize is that everything that is between them is not hate, it’s sadness”

mattheo nodded and april could see that he was getting sad too. they both felt helpless, like they couldn’t do what they were supposed to do as best friends to theo and you.

all while enzo found it a bit weird how serious mattheo and april were talking about your relationship with theo. it didn't even concern them, yet they were so... concerned.

"it's not really our problem is it?" enzo tried gently.

the looks he received made him shut up immediately.

"they belong together, enz" his brother exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "they just don't know it yet"

"yeah" april nodded "that's what they have us for" she pointed between her and mattheo.

"but you still like me more than him, right?" enzo joked.

april and mattheo started laughing and enzo joined in hesitantly. "not right now, though"

enzo's laughter died down as he send his soon-to-be-girlfriend a betrayed look.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

when the three arrived at the rehearsal, theo and you were already there, setting up the instrument and sorting notes.

"woah" blaise said when he and draco entered the garage after mattheo, april and enzo. "it's cold in here"

you send him an aggravated look, before you just rolled your eyes and continued to turn the pages of your notes.

"did something happen?" draco whispered in the direction of april.

the girl shook her head, before mattheo took it upon himself to inform draco about the newest form of relationship between theo and you.

"haven't you noticed?" he muttered not exactly quiet, but you acted like you couldn't hear him. "they've been acting like this all week"

"really?" blaise asked surprised, before he thought for a second "wait, no, now that you say it, it has been a really peaceful week." his eyes fell upon you "too peaceful"

"hey, y/n" draco called and you looked up "i think theo put down the wrong cable for you again"

"oh" you looked down to confirm that he was right "that not a problem, i'll just quickly change it" you walked around theo, without even acknowledging him and draco looked like he had lost his mind.

april elbowed enzo, who shrieked, but then quickly caught the hint. "theo, ehh" he thought for a second "did you talk to y/n about those notes she needs to play differently in cheap wine?"

theo shook his head, before he turned around to look at you. "you have to play two c-chords and then the a-chord"

"got it" you nodded.

enzo and april exchanged a look. enzo looked to his older brother helplessly, who looked as lost as he rest of his friends. he had no idea what else to say, before it quickly dawned on him. he had to force a reaction out of theo and what better way to do that than compliment you? an insult from theo wouldn't be far.

"you look really good today" mattheo said "i like the way you styles your hair"

"thank you" you smiled.

"theo?" blaise asked as the boy didn't react.

"huh?" theo looked up from the cables he had been sorting "eh, yeah i agree"

both you and theo returned to your respective work while the rest of your friends exchanged looks without you noticing.

"theo, i said y/n looks good today"

"i'm aware" theo nodded "i can hear you, you know?"

"we would love to hear your input" mattheo further encouraged.

"you're acting fucking weird today" and to all their shock, you and theo were now exchanging glances as if they were the ones behaving weirdly.

blaise huffed and mattheo and april crossed their arms silmutaneously.

draco seemed to have had enough of the way you were acting. "stop fucking acting this way! can't you just make up or something? or at least get back to hating each other?" he was close to tears.

blaise rubbed draco's shoulder. "see, what you're doing to him. his parents are divorced"

"okay?" you asked confused "i don't see what that has to do with us, though"

"what's going on?" april asked gently "did something happen? you had this until someone cries mentally, well, did someone cry?"

"no" you shook your head "theo and i are just mature enough, that we decided to stop fighting"

"bullshit" draco screamed from blaise's arms. "you're always fighting, even before you hated each other."

you looked in the direction of theo and thought about what he had said to you in that classroom. he had been right, you weren't good to each other, even before you had been at each other's throats constantly. all of it had been so obvious that even your friends had noticed it.

"would you rather have us fighting again?" theo asked with raised brows "we were going nowhere with this"

"you're not even talking to each other" mattheo muttered.

"we are" you shook your head as if you couldn't believe what he was saying "we just did it like a minute ago"

"can we please start rehearsing now?" theo asked and all of you could feel the annoyance radiating off his body. the boys nodded, giving in without further discussion.

you could still feel april's eyes lingering on you. she didn't believe a word you had said.

even if you tried to ignore it, what your friends had said stuck with you. you knew that theo was thinking about it too.

after the rehearsal you stayed longer.

"we have to stop acting his way" you said as soon as the two of you were alone. "they will find out if we don't"

"i know" theo sighed and it was the biggest reaction you had gotten from him all week. it kind of pained you to admit that you missed your fighting, but something in you clearly did.

"can't you just fight with me? just do something so we go back to normal"

"i can't" theo admitted "i can’t still scream at you, after-"

"after we had sex" you interrupted. he had been dancing around what happened all week, you were tired of not calling it what it was.

"it should've never happened"

"i know!" you said loudly "and i agree, but this is not the solution we need. we can't go back in time, theo, we can do nothing to change it."

"yeah, but i can do as much as possible to make sure it won't ever happen again"

"why are you so bothered by all of this?" you asked frustrated "it was just sex, it was a one time thing, what makes it different? it's just like any other one night stand"

"no it's not"

"then tell me what it is!" you were screaming now "because i'm tired of playing a game i don't want to be a part of! you confuse me"

"can i kiss you?" theo asked and you had almost screamed from shock.

"what?" you asked instead. "theo!"

"i'm- sorry, i just-"

"okay, kiss me" he did not wait for you to tell him twice, before he had already walked closer and pressed his lips against yours.

you really had to stop doing this. well, after this time.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

you continued to come to the rehearsal three times a week over the following weeks. the more time you spent in the old loft, the more it felt like everything was slowly going back to normal.

your friends couldn't explain what had happened, but theo and you had started interacting normally again, having your occasional fight, but being friendlier than ever.

even if they found it weird, they accepted it. they were just happy you were talking to each other again.

april had tried to find out what had been going and between you and the boy, but you had stayed strong, not revealing your secret to her, even if she was your best friend.

you were joking with the boys, the forced friendly gestures you used to exchange were long gone and it was no longer uncomfortable to just sit around when you were taking a break.

mattheo told stories of enzo and their vacation in spain, how they had gone snorkeling and how enzo had lost his trunks in the water, making all of you break out into loud laughter.

each of you shared memories of a time where you had not spoken to the others, as if you had to catch up. and it felt good.

even theo had to admit it did. it had been easier than he thought to be civil. he had been sure he was having a stroke, but as soon as he started to act nice, you did too and after everything that had happened between you both these past few days he was honestly just glad.

it was another saturday when you were once again rehearsing. you had gone through the entire setlist (except for daddy issues, theo had said that it was way too slow to play) and now only had to play eight pack of cigarettes, which was one of your favorite tracks to play, especially because it had a guitar solo in it.

you had spent much time learning the solo and enzo had been of great help, teaching you like a proud parent, even if he was younger than you.

the song began slow, theo started singing as the guitar played slow, while the other instruments stayed silent.

in the glow of street lights, underneath the city's haze, you found me in the darkest nights, lost in a nicotine haze.

the drums set in just a second after, making the heavy rock of the song shine through clearly. shortly after that followed mattheo, strumming the bass. draco only joined at the chorus.

eight packs of cigarettes, burned through these lonely nights, trying to drown out regrets, but you're still in my head.

the solo came just after the brige and both enzo and april watches excitedly how you plaed it so effortlessly. theo watched you and he couldn't help the proud smile settling on his face.

in the haze of smoke and dreams, i'll keep searching for some reprieve, but until then, I'll keep the smoke, eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

the song ended with the last note of draco's keyboard. you admired how they could go from a full on rock song, to a slow and almost sad outro.

you helped theo to unplug the instruments. draco and blaise said their goodbyes pretty soon, walking out of the garage mumbling something about a new videogame, mattheo was close behind them.

enzo and april exchanged a look, before he threw his not broken arm around her shoulder.

"we're going to the cinema" enzo exclaimed when he noticed your questioning gaze.

"okay" you smiled as you send april a look. 'call me later' you mouthed, before you watched them walk out to april's car.

"y/n" theo said to gain your attention "thank you for helping us, really, i appreciate it"

"it's not a problem" you smiled "just, why did you ask me? i know that you can play, you didn't need me"

"you're way better" he smiled "my heart also belongs to the acoustic guitar and it's way more fun to move freely on stage"

you rolled your eyes laughing at his dumb reasons, but nodded understandingly anyway. "can i also ask you something?"

theo raised his brows "sure"

"did you write daddy issues to hurt me?"

"i understand why you might think i did" theo muttered "but back then, no" he admitted "i wrote it for you to listen to whenever you felt like that. i thought about not putting it on the album after everything that happened, but i wrote it for both of you and leo had made me promise"

"typical" you laughed "he demands something and once he leaves everything goes to shit"

"i'm sorry i made you play it" theo muttered.

"it's alright" you took the acoustic guitar from the couch and held it in his direction. "can you do something else for me? could you play it for me? the way you intended it to be played?"

he nodded and took the guitar from your hand before he sat down across from you. he softly stroked the chords and the words that were coming out of his mouth didn't feel like they were supposed to hurt you, they felt gentle, like a hug.

gentle, like the days you had spent up in the treehouse, crying in his lap as he stroked your hair the same way he was now stroking the chords.

go ahead and cry, little girl nobody does it like you do i know how much it matters to you i know that you got daddy issues and if you were my little girl i'd do whatever I could do i'd run away and hide with you i know that you got daddy issues

he played softly, almost cautious, as if he wanted to fix you with his singing alone. he ended the song and you couldn't help but smile at him, even if tears were running over yours cheeks. he put the guitar down and sat next to you on the couch.

"why did you ask me to do that?"

"because i don't want to think of the song as something bad…not anymore" you explained as you wiped your tears away. "not when leo didn't intend it to be"

"he loved it" theo said softly "made him cry like a baby"

"because you're so good at writing" you laughed.

"no" theo shook his head "he cried because of you, because i think for the first time he could really understand how you felt"

"thank you" you said.

"nothing to thank me for" theo smiled softly.

"do you want to hear a secret?" you asked. you knew not everything between you was normal again, but you trusted him enough and right now, there in the garage, was a time where safety was all around you.

"sure" theo nodded and watched you expectingly. you turned your head to look at him.

"i haven't spoken to my dad in a year" you admitted.

"oh" theo breathed surprised. "why not?"

"i don't really know" you shrugged, it wasn't the whole truth, but you were not at the point of telling whole truths yet "but i think it's alright, i don't think there's anything we could still say to each other"

"i'm sorry"

you shrugged "it is what it is, right?" you tried to smile, but theo shook his head.

"it shouldn't be like this"

"it's not like i can miss anything" you shrugged and theo frowned.

"it's just unfair. i'm sorry, y/n"

"where did pixie go?"

"i thought you hated when i called you that"

"i did" you smiled lopsided "but now i kinda miss her"

"do you ever know what you want?" theo laughed and you shrugged, while you shook your head. he looked at his phone, to check the time. "are you free tonight?"

"sure, why?"

"a friend of mine is throwing a party and his band is playing, i promised to come, do you maybe want to accompany me?"

you shrugged "it's not like i have anything better to do, so why not?"

"i feel honored that you spend time with me nonetheless, pixie" theo smiled and you mirrored his expression. for the first time in a while his nickname for you did not sound malicious.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐯𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you seem to be a pretty good match, until things go out of control

warnings: underage drinking, cursing, trauma (bad relationship with parents), sexual references, depression, fighting, mention of death

note: this is absolutely the most gut wrenching chapter so far! get ready lmao!! and for the people still wondering who leo is: you will find out in this chapter!!

previous part | masterlist | next part

theo walked you both through a forest, taking weird paths that he claimed to be shortcuts. you giggled anytime he almost fell over a branch and he laughed deeply and almost lovingly as you stumbled against him a few times, because it was already dark.

at the party he walked you around, introducing you to foreign people and it made you heart flutter, that he did not introduce you with your name alone.

"curtis" he said when a blonde and tall boy entered his field of vision "this is my friend, y/n"

"hi, theo's friend y/n" curtis greeted and you smiled up at his tall figure.

"is your band playing tonight?" you asked and curtis nodded proudly.

"i'm the keyboarder" he explained "you will love it, i promise"

you normally hated boys with too big of an ego (maybe because of theo), but curtis was actually lovely and seemed like he meant it in a nice way. he reminded you of enzo and you instantely liked him.

"get your lady something to drink, theo" curtis patted the dark haired boys shoulder before he turned back to you "zero manners, huh?"

you giggled and curtis promised to come back and talk to you after the gig. theo walked you to a small table filled to the brim with different kinds of alcohol.

"what do you want?" he asked and you raised your brows as your eyes glided along the table.

you would rather not drink any alcohol, but there was nothing without it. also, you didn't want to explain why, so you just pointed to the bottle of sparkling wine and watched how theo filled a glass for you.

he took a bottle of beer for himself and walked you back into the crowd so you could listen to curtis and his band.

you had to admit that they were really good, but (and you did not say that to theo or curtis when he came to talk to you later) nothing in comparison to cursed legacy.

you sipped your sparkling wine as theo walked you around the party and talked so some of his friends. there were a few you found pretty funny, boys that reminded you of blaise and draco, as they were dancing weirdly across the dance floor.

and curtis' girlfriend was like a carbon copy of april. she joined you as you watched the boys and couldn't hold your laughter at their ridiculous dancing.

"friends like that keep your soul young" lily had said as she sat down next to you. "i'm lily" she added as she noticed your surprised expression "curtis’ girlfriend"

"y/n" you smiled "theo told half the people here to call me pixie, but don't listen to him, he's an idiot. and i know, i have the exact same friends on the other side of the town"

"so a few meters from here?" lily joked and you joined in on her laughter.

"something like that"

"are you theo's girlfriend?" she followed your eyes that were watching him as he was talking to curtis and another boy you hadn't been introducted to yet.

"no" you shook your head. theo turned his head and smiled at you, before he waved for you to come and join the conversation.

"they way he looks at you tells a different story" said lily as she followed you through the crowd.

you shook your head laughing. lily stepped next to curtis, who threw an arm around her body and you stepped next to theo, who, to your surprise, did the same.

later, theo and you started walking back home. you had said goodbye to the people you had met tonight, while theo had to promise both curtis and lily that he would bring you around more often. lily was so drunk that she almost cried as you told her that you were leaving, which made you like her even more.

you loved people that didn't get aggressive or angry when they got drunk, but rather emotional or funny.

"are you sure this is the right way?" you mumbled as you followed theo through the forest, your hand in his as he took paths that looked like they were not supposed to be walked on.

"trust me, baby" theo laughed and the nickname made your heart flutter. you were glad that he couldn't see your face.

to your surprise you came out of the forest right in front of your houses. the moon was shining down on the street, making it easier to see his beautiful face.

"so much music tonight and we didn't even dance"

"you're right" you smiled "what do we do now?"

"i have something on here" theo said as he took out his phone. "it's a song that was supposed to be on the album, but i scrapped last minute"

"oh" you said surprised "what is it about?"

"you"

you laughed unsurely "so pixie dream girl or daddy issues part two?"

"no" theo said quickly as he shook his head "it's not like that, it's not mean"

"why did you scrap it?"

"because leo was helping me to decide which songs were good enough for an album and i didn't want him to see this one"

you smiled up at him, before you finally nodded. "play it"

he set down the phone and pressed play, before he took your hand in his, one hand on your hip. the song was soft and gentle and you could hear the guitar and dracos keyboard.

"how did you record the guitar if leo didn't know about it?" you wondered.

"i played it myself" theo shrugged and you smiled as you heard his voice. "i wrote the song when you started hanging out with cormac and we stopped spending as much time"

i know a place it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face we get married in our heads something to do while we try to recall how we met

he twirled you around on the street, moving you away and then back close to his chest again.

the bridge was definitely your favorite part of the song, as you softly hummed along.

there was something 'bout you that now i can't remember it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender and i miss you on a train, i miss you in the morning i never know what to think about

you didn't want him to know, but you cried a bit. the song was so incredibly beautiful that it made your head hurt. right before the song was over, theo started singing along, supporting the theo from months ago.

about you about you do you think i have forgotten about you? (don't let go)

he hugged you close to his body while you both swayed to the last few tunes of the song.

"that's how you felt? all while i was still there?" you asked him once he had pushed the phone into the back pocket of his trousers.

"it felt like you were worlds away" theo muttered "you were so obsessed with cormac that all i could do was write a song about how you were slipping away"

"i was sixteen and in love" you argued.

"i know" theo smiled "i was too"

you looked up at him in surprise and a bit of hope in your eyes. "and what about now?" you asked

"now i'm seventeen" he shrugged.

"and in love?" you asked carefully.

"deeply" his hands wandered to hold your hip, as you stepped closer to his body. your hands went to his neck. he drew you closer and slowly connected your lips. his lips were soft and warm and they felt like home in a place that hadn't felt like a home in a long time.

he brushed some of your hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss, softly pushing his tongue through your lips. you smiled at that.

as you broke the kiss, he softly leaned his forehead against yours.

"do you want to come inside?" you asked as you pointed to your house.

theo smiled as he nodded. you took your key out of your bag and opened the door. to your surprise, you could hear someone move through the house.

it was well past midnight, so you shrieked in surprise when your mum turned on the light. she screamed at the same time as you did.

you wondered what she was doing up here. normally she wouldn't come out of bed or up here in general. she would spend most days in bed, curled up under leo's bedsheets.

"y/n!" she screamed and you noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"mum" you muttered as you looked back at theo, who was still standing in the entryway, unsure what to do.

"where have you been?" she screamed. "you're soaked!" theo's and your eyes went down your body simultaneously. you were completely dry.

"i'm not, mum" you shook your head "maybe you should go back to bed" you tried to grab her arm but she moved away from your hold.

"i told you not to go out in the rain"

"mum, i didn't, really"

"where have you been all night?" she screamed and winced. "i have been sick with worry! you've been gone for hours, y/n!"

"mum, i-"

"i don't want to hear another word!" she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. "leo, sweetheart is that you?" she only seemed to notice theo, now that you were not standing in front of him anymore.

you and him exchanged a look. "no, mum" you softly said "that is theo" you turned your head back at him "maybe you should better go"

he nodded at your suggestion.

"leo, sweetheart" your mum called as she saw him moving. theo froze. "where are you going?" you held her in place as she tried to move closer to him.

"go, home, theo" you said "i'll call you"

"where's leo?" the calm in her voice was suddenly gone and she was screaming again. theo turned around alarmed.

"go, i'll call you" you repeated. "you shouldn't have called him" your mother screamed "why did you call him?" she sank down on the ground sobbing and screaming as she held her arms close to her chest. you sat down beside her.

you looked up and saw the sad look on theo's face. "please, go, theo"

he left and closed the front door behind him.

your mother calmed down quickly and you were able to bring her back down to bed. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and you watched her for a few minutes as you wiped your cheeks to get rid of your tears.

you shared the color of her eyes and hair, the way she used to walk down the street and the sound of laughter, that you hadn't heard since that night a year ago.

you kissed her head softly, before you got up and left the room. "goodnight, mum" you mumbled before you closed the door.

then you walked up to your room. the curtain of your window was open and you saw theo sitting at his window on the other side. you saw him scribble something down on his blog, before he pressed it against the window.

is she always like this?

you shrugged, before you took your own blog and wrote an answer.

not always, but sometimes she freaks out and thinks it's that night again

what is she doing normally? it's the first time i saw her in a year

you weren't sure what to answer. you didn't want to lie to him, but the truth embarassed you.

she stays here

she doesn't leave the house?

no

you could see the same look of pity in theo's eyes as you always saw in april's. she was the only one who really knew how bad your mother had gotten.

i'm sorry you had to see that, you wrote

theo shook his head, he held his hand against the window, as if to touch yours, i'm here

you held your hand against the glass too, as you smiled at his gesture. i know

you sat there for longer than you should have, only going to bed as soon as you couldn't keep your eyes open and were almost falling asleep on the desk.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

sunday was warm and thick and theo came to pick you up. all of you, the rest of the guys and april, went to the lake behind the garage to go swimming.

the sun was relentless but you were so happy that you did not mind.

april and enzo had arrived hand in hand, kissing each other all over their faces, before they announced that they were finally dating. you were more than just happy for them and exchanged conspiritorial looks with theo as they mentioned how they had spend their night.

none of your friends knew about your and theo's adventure from the night before, or the times you had spent in each others embrace. you were glad that they had stopped asking questions about the way you acted after the last time.

you hadn't been sure if you would have been able to lie, but your friends kept their mouths shut, silently smiling and fully accepting the new normal.

theo had send you the demo of about you and you had spent any free minute listening to it. this was your song, the song that was truly about you and you couldn't love it more.

and for now, everything that had happened between you just belonged to the two of you.

theo walked into the garage to get a few more beers as he ran into mattheo, who came back from the toilet.

"hey, mate" he patted theo's shoulder, as the latter bend down to open the fridge.

mattheo's eyes wandered to the window that overlooked the lake. blaise and draco were standing on top of the tree that was hanging over the water, while they tried not to fall down. april and you were loudly laughing as you tried to throw each other into the water. enzo came up behind the two of you and helped to throw april inside, before he pushed you in after her. mattheo watched as your head came back up and you began laughing.

"you have to tell her" mattheo mumbled "the concert is in a few days"

"i know" theo muttered, before he took a big sip from his beer. "but she's so happy" his heart fluttered as he watched you run across the grass as draco and blaise were chasing you.

"all the more reason to tell her" mattheo nodded "maybe she doesn't mind"

"i don't know" theo shrugged "i still lied to her"

"not if you just tell her" theo nodded at his friend before he left the room. mattheo bend down to get a beer for himself, as his eyes returned back to the glass. you were in the lake again and you face lit up as your eyes fell on theo.

you held your hand in his direction, before you dragged him in to the water. mattheo could hear you giggle, followed by theo's warm laughter as he held you close to his body and dipped you down in the lake. "so, that's how it is?" mattheo mumbled smiling as he watched the two of you.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

monday came fast and so did the bad weather. it had been raining since the morning and you couldn't be more glad that april and theo both had their own cars so no one had to walk.

"good morning, baby" theo greeted as soon as you sat down in his car. he turned in your direction expectingly, moving his lips. you giggled before you kissed him and he leaned back with a satisfied grin.

on your way to school you picked up draco and blaise who were talking about a switch in the atmosphere. you and theo listened to their blabbering as you exchanged looks with each other.

"this was disgusting" mattheo said as he climbed from the backseat of april's car. she had driven him and enzo to school with her. "two people in love and i have nowhere to escape"

"yeah" draco nodded "i kind of feel the same" blaise and him exchanged confused gazes, not quite realizing what they were talking about just yet.

"should we head to english?" you asked before one of them was able to further think about it.

"sure" april took your arm as she dragged enzo behind her. theo stayed close to you, but did not hold your hand.

mrs walker was on time today and she even smiled as she noticed the friendly conversation you and theo were having. "war is over, huh?" she smiled and you softly nodded.

it was the first time in months that you did not mind theo sitting so close to you. you needed his warmth, as if his and your body were magnets of opposite sides, always pulling each other close.

during class, theo was drawing hearts on your hand with his finger and you wondered when you had forgotten how soft love was.

love was back, because theo was and you had missed him terribly, even before there was that wall of fault between the two of you. you had thought that there was no way to fix what had been broken, but maybe you had been wrong.

theo had felt the same, as he had told you. and he understood you, understood the way you could not have a relationship with your father, the way you felt sad anytime your eyes fell on your mother and why you had taken down every photo of your brother and put them in a box under the bed.

"i take them out when i want to remember" you had told him "when i'm ready to feel him"

"do you think you will be able to hang them up again?" theo had asked.

"i don't know" it broke a piece of your heart that you weren't able to really tell "maybe there will just always be something broken inside of me"

"and your parents?" he had pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "are they broken too?"

"more than me" you had said "that's why i can only be broken at certain times"

theo squeezed your hand before he had to take it away to write something down. you smiled at him, before you started writing too.

suddenly your phone buzzed in the back pocket out your trousers. there were only fifteen minutes of class left, but maybe it was important, so you took it out without mrs walker noticing and opened the message that had been send from an unknown number.

hey, peanut it read and you heart stopped beating. it's dad. how are you? dave called me to tell me about the record deal for leo's band, i heard they're making great music. theo messaged me too, is he your boyfriend? he told me that you needed to talk. call me!! xoxo dad

you stared down at the message and your whole body froze. dave fraser was the guy that was eventually giving the guys the record deal? you knew it had to have been leo who contacted him. and theo had messaged your dad? a thousand questions were running through your mind, but before you got a chance to answer them, another message came in.

i'm sure everything will work out with the deal. dave is obsessed with the guys and pixie dream girl! he told me i should come and listen to them play on saturday. will you be there too? didn't theo used to call you pixie? kinda funny!

yeah, you thought, funny.

"y/n?" mrs walker called "do you know the answer to number five?"

"what?" you muttered as you looked up from the phone in your hand.

"i asked if you knew the answer to number five" mrs walker repeated, but her eyes grew wider as she noticed the tears in your eyes "are you alright?"

you shook your head before you grabbed your bag and pushed your blog inside. "can i please leave?"

"ehh" mrs walker seemed to be caught off-guard before she finally nodded. you grabbed your things and ran out of the room under the confused eyes of your friends.

"excuse me" you could hear a voice call and quickly, steps were following after you. it was theo and you just quickened your pace.

"y/n!" he called. "are you alright?" there were another few pairs of feet running over the floor.

"you can't just all leave class" you could hear mrs walker say.

"it's important" april said.

"we will write an extra essay" enzo promised and you could hear both mattheo and draco groan.

"are you nuts?" blaise said loudly, before he was scolded by mrs walker.

you walked down the steps, theo behind you and behind him april, enzo, mattheo, draco and blaise.

"where are you going?" theo asked, but you ignored him. he followed you outside into the rain, where he finally caught up with you, holding your arm so you had to freeze in your step.

the rest of your friends waited under the little roof before the doors.

"what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"what has gotten into me?" you repeated laughing "what the fuck is wrong with you, huh?"

"what are you talking about?" you both were already soaked.

"you're playing pixie dream girl on saturday?" you asked.

before he could stop himself, theo had already answered "how do you know?"

mattheo hid his face in his hands and enzo groaned audibly.

"so it's true then?" you asked "and i bet all of you knew" you looked behind theo and into the guilt-ridden faces of your friends.

"we wanted to tell you-i mean i wanted to, really"

"yeah, you did? were you waiting for the right moment? taking bets when would be the funniest time?"

"no, you don't understand"

"oh, i think i do" you shook your head as you cried "you're still punishing me for everything that happened a year ago"

"what? no, i'm not" theo almost pleaded for you to believe him.

"did he tell you everything?" you turned to the other boys "how's your next song about me called, huh? y/n's psycho mother?"

"y/n, we don't know what you're talking about" mattheo said.

"oh you don't? well, let me clear things up as long i have the chance to do so myself" you clenched your hands together, you were already shaking from the harsh cold of the rain "what did you miss? my mother has gone completely off the rails since my brother died, my dad and i haven't spoken in a year and i think i have a lot of issues too"

you could hear april cry and the rest of the boys also looked like they were absolutely distraught.

"theo was a great friend" you said bitterly "while i went to him crying, he wrote a song that he knew would hurt me and he still put it on the album. and after i told him i how i felt about it, he claimed it was supposed to help me, while he aired out my dirty laundry to everyone in this fucking town"

"daddy issues" draco muttered under his breath.

"damn right" you pointed in his direction.

"daddy issues is about y/n?" enzo asked and he looked as betrayed as you felt.

"y-yeah" theo muttered "but i did not mean to hurt her"

"that's funny, theo" you laughed sarcastically "did you also not mean to hurt me when you messaged my father?"

"you did what?" april asked angrily and was ready to step next to you, but enzo held her back before she could walk in the rain.

"i know you don't want to talk to him, but i thought-"

"thought you knew my life better than i do?" you asked angrily "the night of leo's death, my dad spent hours screaming at me. my brother had just died and he stood in front of me while he told me how everything was my fault. he was the one telling me that he didn't want to see me again" you raised your arms "but who am i to complain about that, right? at least he's paying his child support, more than he has to actually, or mum and i would live on the street now. because she doesn't leave leo's fucking bed" you screamed in the direction of your friends "she never gets up" you added.

april sobbed and you noticed that all of the others had tears in their eyes as well.

"she's a mess" you muttered "but even she thinks it's my fault. you remember theo? that night in my house, when she thought you were leo? do you know how it feels to come home and she turns on the light and there's a flicker of hope in her eyes, because just for a short second she thinks i'm her dead son? and when she notices that it's me, just me, she just goes back to bed"

"we didn't know" blaise said softly.

"because i didn't want anyone to know" you said "but theo is running around telling people whatever he feels like and all of this will probably be featured on your second album anyway, so fuck it, right?"

"i'm so sorry" theo cried and you couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on his face.

"sorry isn't cutting it this time, theo" your voice was a lot calmer now "you asked if i will be able to hang leo's pictures up again and the most honest answer i can give you is that i don't know if i could bare to look at his face while knowing that i killed him"

"you didn't kill him" theo argued.

"it doesn't matter to me how you see all of this, theo" you shook your head "just leave me alone, okay? but this time for real. i don't want to see you and i don't want to speak to you" you paused, before you added "because the real reason why we aren't friends anymore is that after everything that happened, you didn't even have the decency to come to leo's funeral. he was your friend, your best friend"

you send one last look in the direction of your friends, before you started to walk away.

theo called your name and you turned your head, but mattheo held him in place. you nodded at him, thankfully. april looked between enzo and theo, before she shook her head and ran after you.

she put her arm around you and let you cry into her shoulder as you both walked through the rain. away from your friends and away from theo, who you swore in that moment, had broken your heart for the last time.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

chapter seven of don’t blame me tomorrow!! so i’d love to know:

also additionally (in the comments) : there are only two chapters until dbm is over.. who should definitely have a few more interactions with pixie? :)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the night of the concert is here. will theo be able to fix everything between him and pixie?

warnings: bit angst, idiots in love, a bit cheesy

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

you tried not to think about it too much, but despite everything, saturday did not feel normal. it felt like you were missing something.

after you had ignored his messages, your dad had called you several times. you didn't want to speak to him, but you had to admit that it felt good being wanted by him for once.

you didn't know when he last tried to reach out to you.

you spent your day ignoring the time, staring blindly into your book and reading the same page over and over again. you were tempted, but you didn't open the curtain.

your mind had run in circles after what your mother had said last night.

you had worried that everything she said had just been a temporary state, but today she had gotten up before you to make you breakfast. she had still looked a bit sick, but colour was slowly returning to her face and today the had a meeting with her doctor.

she was trying to find a therapist too. not only for her but also for the both of you. she wanted to repair your relationship and she was slowly becoming her normal self again.

she had been right, if you could forgive her, you would maybe eventually be able to forgive theo too.

the pain and fault that had rested on your shoulder had slowly evaporated into thin air, lifting everything that had made your and theo's relationship hard in the first place.

the doorbell rang at around six and you wondered who it was. your mother was still at the doctor's and your friends were already all at the concert hall. or at least that was what you had thought.

"what are you doing here?" you asked as your eyes fell upon enzo and april. "shouldn't you be there already? it's an hour drive"

"that's all enzo's doing" april rolled her eyes jokingly "you would think for someone that has claimed yours and theo's relationship to be none of his business, he would act like it wasn't, but here we are"

enzo ignored his girlfriend's words completely. "you have to forgive him, y/n" he almost begged "you should've seen how distraught he looked at rehearsals today. he's hating himself for what he did"

"enzo, i really-"

"i'd do anything, y/n" he interrupted "he's not himself without you"

"you should've seen him" april pointed to enzo "i let him drive my car this once and he turns it around in the middle of the street and drives back here. we were also already fourty minutes into the drive!"

you had almost laughed, if enzo hadn't been nearly crying in front of you.

"you're everything to him" enzo continued unfazed. "he has loved you for years! all of us saw it right before our very eyes, even your brother! theo loved you from afar for so long, don't you think you can love him back?"

all colour suddenly disappeared from april's face as realization dawned on her. "repeat that!" she said.

"what?" enzo turned his head at her confused "don't you think you can love him back?" he repeated, but april shook her head.

"i mean what you said before that" enzo and you looked both confused now and she rolled her eyes "theo loved you from afar!"

"what?" you asked, but it looked like enzo had realized what she meant.

"yeah!” he threw a fist into the air and turned around himself, loudly screaming.

"am i being filmed?" you looked around for invisible cameras.

"y/n" april laughed as enzo continued dancing behind her. "you're daisy"

"i'm what?" you asked with a dry laugh. "are you alright?"

"daisy buchanan" enzo said loudly "you're daisy buchanan and theo is jay gatsby"

"no, that's-"

april interrupted you, before you could tell them how crazy all of this sounded. "he loved her from afar" she quoted in a deeper voice, obviously mimicking theo.

as if that wasn't enough enzo chimed in, spotting a high-pitched voice, undoubtly quoting you "then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake, instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

"he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved her because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored" april continued.

"did we read the same book? because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband" enzo rattled that down like he had learned text for a whole musical.

april smiled. “that’s why he defended daisy as if his life depended on it. because she is you!”

they both looked at you expectingly.

"i don't know what is weirder about this" you shook your head "that you both can effortlessly quote something theo and i said weeks ago or that you decided enzo should play me. that was the worst girl voice i ever heard, april's mimicking of theo was at least believable"

"that's what you took from this?" april sighed.

"she said we effortlessly quoted them" enzo pointed out "that means she remembers" he tapped a finger to his head.

"wait, you're right" april laughed "oh, you're so smitten!"

"we should really go now" enzo reminded with a look to his phone. "well, are you coming or not?" he asked.

"i don't know, guys"

"as is said before” she pressed “theo was obviously talking about you" april reminded "you're daisy! what's there not to know?!"

enzo seemingly had enough, as he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "why are you and theo always making it so unnecessarily hard? do you love him?"

you smiled "i do"

"do you want to see him?"

"yes"

"then what are you waiting for?!" he took your arm, pulled you out of the house and closed the door. "come on!" then he pushed you and april to the car.

"first he has time to come and get you and now we have to run like someone is chasing us" april muttered under her breath and you giggled.

enzo was really reminding you of a family father right now.

he started to drive just as your arse had hit the seat. you were able to close the door just in time, before it could make contact with the stone wall.

"enzo!" april scolded "that's still my car!"

"hold on tight, woman!" he screamed "we're not going to miss this concert!"

and he was right, because he turned the car as if he was testing at how much speed he could take the turn.

to your surprise, you made it in time, with all your body parts still attached.

"that was—"

"awful!" april interrupted as she opened the door and got out "you're never driving this car again!"

"sorry, sweetheart" enzo was close behind her and you followed suit, unsure if you could come inside without them.

inside the venue, enzo kissed april goodbye before he headed behind the stage. “let’s find a good place to watch them, yeah?” april smiled and you nodded.

you walked through the crowd, not too close to the stage, but good enough.

“hey” a voice said and both you and april turned around. “you’re y/n?” the guy was wearing a headset and clipboard. he looked like he belonged to the venue.

“yeah?” you asked surprised. were you not allowed to be here?

“mr l/n told me to come and get you” the guy explained “he has a vip place on the right side of the stage. he said you both were with him?”

you looked around the people in front of you until your eyes caught the space he was talking about. there was your father, staring right at the stage.

april followed your line of sight. “we don’t have to” she said to you, before she turned her head to the unfamiliar man “we would rather stay here”

“are you sure?” he asked and looked to you expectingly.

“no” you said quickly and were surprised by yourself “we’re coming”

you followed the man through the crowd of people.

“what are you doing?” april muttered, clutching your arm.

“i can’t always run away from difficult feelings”

“okay” she nodded “just give me a sign and i’ll knock him out”

“thank you, april” you smiled “you’re the greatest friend i ever had”

she smiled and you could see how much your compliment flattered her. “i’m glad that you are coming back to normal” she giggled, as she wrapped an arm around your body.

“hey april” your father greeted when you stood in front of him. april said a hesitant hello, before she nudged your arm and told you she would wait for you.

once april had left you alone, both of you didn’t know how to act.

“h-hey” your dad said, before he opted for an awkward side-hug.

“hi dad”

“how have you been?” he pushed a hand through his hair. you could see him struggling, he didn’t know what to say, just how you didn’t know.

you smiled and shrugged. he nodded.

“can we stop doing this?” you finally asked “this feels so forced. we haven’t talked in a year and that’s shit, but we don’t have to ignore it happened, okay?”

“i’m sorry” your dad shook his head “i thought all of this would be easier, but you’re not little anymore and-“

“-i’m not as forgiving as i used to be” you interrupted “what you did and what you said was actual bullshit, dad. you messed everything up and i think you’re responsible that i have such a hard time trusting people”

“peanut” he muttered.

“why didn’t you call?” you asked as tears fell over your cheeks “why didn’t you want to be my dad anymore?”

he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “what happened wasn’t your fault”

“i know”

“yeah, but i made you feel like it was” he admitted “i said horrible things and i brought you back home like i didn’t want to see you. i was ashamed, i thought you didn’t want to see me after what i had said to you that night”

“i needed my parents. there’s no excuse for you not atleast trying to be there” you shook your head “you could’ve tried” you added, crying.

your father didn’t say anything. he nodded, before he softly touched your shoulder. “i would love to try” he said gently “if you still want me to”

“yeah” you nodded “but i don’t think i can just forgive. it’s gonna need a lot more than a promise from you”

“i know” a tear slipped over his cheek. “i want to make it alright. theo made me realize what i did to you and i’m so ashamed, peanut” he gulped “i just want to be your dad again”

“i want you to be that” you softly hugged him and it felt more normal than before. “but we have to fix a lot for that to happen”

“i know and i will try to make it work again”

“hey, sorry” april leaned around the body of your dad “they are starting now”

you smiled at your dad, before you loosened the hug and all three of you walked further up to the barrier.

“hey guys!” theo said into the microphone “we’re cursed legacy. this is cheap wine!”

you watched him closely, how he gripped the microphone. his voice flew through the speakers, making you shiver. the veins on his necks were more obvious when he came to the chorus, pouring his heart right into your ears.

now you’re dancing along,

to his newest song,

laughing like you did when you were mine,

and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,

on the bottom of your lip,

reminder how it is,

but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

the song ended and you opened your eyes. april was jumping up and down, loudly screaming.

your father smiled impressed. “they’re really good”

“i know” you nodded proudly.

after cheap wine, cursed legacy played eight packs of cigarettes, you get me so high, only angel and neon nights.

before theo could announce the next song, dave fraser entered the stage.

you and april exchanged a confused look, when you noticed theo and dave eagerly discussing something. theo shook his head, more than once, before he sighed.

“and now” dave had grabbed the mic that had been standing next to enzo unused. “make some noise for pixie dream girl”

you clenched your teeth and noticed the look on theo’s face. he looked about as happy as you did.

enzo started playing the chords, blaise and mattheo starting right after him, before finally draco joined.

theo‘s eyes wandered over the crowd, before they finally landed on you.

no, you thought, as you saw the conflict in his eyes. then he did what you had feared. he didn’t start singing.

the band exchanged confused looks, before they repeated the same progression of chords. the crowd hadn’t noticed that theo missed his cue, but they would if he would continue to not move and just stare at you.

“is something wrong?” your father muttered beside you.

you didn’t take your eyes off of theo, but shook your head.

“i’m sorry” theo finally moved and started speaking. the music behind him died down. “i can’t do this” he sent his bandmates a regretful look, before he jumped down from the stage and started making his way through the crowd in the direction of the door.

you started walking at the same time. but not to him.

“y/n?” april called confused.

you walked behind the stage. maybe theo really wanted to throw everything away because he had been an idiot and wrote that dumb song, but you wouldn’t let him.

“hey” you said into the spare microphone, when you entered the stage. the crowd, who had been turned in the other direction as they looked after theo, turned around.

and so did theo.

you could almost hear the sigh of relief that escaped mattheo‘s lips. the rest of the band seemed to be relieved to see you too.

“ehh, i’m pixie” you smiled and you were as confident as if pixie really was your name. “and this is pixie dream girl”

you nodded to enzo, who promptly started playing. after a few seconds of confusion, the rest of the band joined in.

i’m an average girl, with tangled up hair,

my laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than he can bear.

i flutter around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind me, wherever i go

if you had to sing that stupid song, you would at least change the lyrics in a way that was fun.

he‘s pretty average too,

a thorn in my side, believe me it’s true,

he‘s up all night, screaming his songs,

i‘ll stay awake, and sing along!

you could see the smile enter theo‘s face.

the rest of the band seemed pretty impressed by your spontaneous ability to change the lyrics. you could also hear enzo add a few improvised riffs.

you raised your arm, waving for him to come and join you. he walked his way back through the crowd, as you sang the chorus.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she’s enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh in her eyes, she‘s a pixie dream girl.

he entered the stage and his laughter was reaching your ears through the loudness of the crowd and the instruments. you laughed with him.

he smiled to his bandmates, shaking each of their hands as if to apologize, before he walked up behind his own microphone stand, a few feet away from you.

you nodded for him to start the next line. it seemed that he had caught on to your lyric changes.

she's a pixie dream girl, and i get the hype,

she sings in the shower, it‘s just my type.

she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,

but i’m pretty sure i won‘t ever get enough.

you turned your head and smiled at him. he looked so beautiful as he was illuminated by the stage lights. his hair seemed to glow and you felt the sudden need to touch it and push it out of his eyes.

you started singing the pre-chorus.

he's a daring challenge, a relentless test,

but i need him around, never giving me rest.

theo added the last two lines, before the chorus began again.

she'll chatter and flirt, driving me mad,

i'm losing control, it's really too bad.

it was the first time that you guys sang together in a long time. your voices harmonized perfectly and you could see enzo and matt smile at each other when they noticed.

theo smiled his typical smile, the one you grew to despise, but could not love less right now.

you got rid of the pullover you were wearing (deciding that it wasn't the right piece of clothing for a rock concert) and were left in just a top. the stage lights were hot.

you pulled your microphone from it's stand, walking across the stage. draco winked at you when you put the pullover down next to his keyboard stand. you smiled at him, as you started laughing.

you walked back to the microphone stand and continued singing the bridge.

but oh, she turns behind the window glass,

It’s not the first time, but maybe it’s the last

I just hope she’ll never stop her twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

before the instrumental part of the music started, you turned to theo, who was already looking at you. he took a step in your direction. you did the same.

"i'm sorry" he said "about everything, i should never have-"

you weren't even angry anymore. you had already forgiven him everything.

"no" you shook your head "i'm sorry for pushing you away at a time where we both needed each other"

"we both are idiots, huh?" he muttered over the music and you nodded laughing.

the band started playing the same set of chords again, dragging out the instrumental part.

"i love you" theo finally said. his words made your heart flutter. and up here on this warm stage you couldn't have been happier.

"i love you" you replied, the same sincerity in your voice.

theo's smile grew impossibly bigger, before he softly took your face in his hands and connected your lips. the crowd roared. you both turned to theo's microphone as you sang the chorus together.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

the last few chords of the song rang out the crowd started cheering. you smiled down on all the people who were before you, before your eyes turned to the barrier, where april and your dad were still standing.

april was holding two thumbs up, while your dad looked a bit confused.

theo outstretched his hand and drew you close to his body. you hugged him tightly and he pressed a kiss on your head.

the crowd was still cheering and you could hear nearing footsteps. a second later, mattheo threw his arms around the both of you. it didn't take long for enzo, blaise and draco to join your group hug.

you laughed loudly as they began jumping around on the stage, loudly celebrating their very first official concert.

you were sure you could not have been happier than in that moment.

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

additonal note:

this is cursed legacy's debut album. i was supposed to upload this in chapter four, but actually forgot..

leo is the one in the middle. (mattheo mentions it in chapter four)

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

cursed legacy as.. chaotic tweets!!

content: tweets from the guys, april and pixie!

cr: to me

note: enjoy, i hope you guys like it :)

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

hihiii<3

i have an angst idea for u... it's kinda vague so feel free to run w it: theo distancing himself from reader bc he's reminiscing ab his home life, inspired by forever winter by tswizzle herself :o

i love that song!! even if it’s so incredibly heartbreaking ❤️

you can find the story here: forever winter

—forever winter

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo pulls away from you and you’re worried about his well being

warnings: this is fic includes topic of depression, under age drinking, allusions to suicide (never actually mentioned though)

please don’t take this lighthearted, be sure not to read if this might trigger you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are in a similar position!! (1-800-273-8255)

my love, @mqstermindswift

the book in his hand looked like it was trembling. you looked up from your potions homework, grabbing the edge of it to make it stop shaking. theo looked up and you send him a questioning look.

he shrugged his shoulders, before he put the book down, laying it on the table in front of him.

"are you alright, love?" you asked after he had gone back to reading, totally ignoring the worry on your face.

"i'm good" he mumbled and you contemplated to press further, but quickly disregarded that thought.

you knew theo, he liked his peace. he would tell you if something was wrong, sometimes he just needed to dwell about it for a bit longer.

you spend a few more minutes in silence, before you read a question you didn't quite understand. theo was good in potions, surely he would be able to help.

"you already finished this, right?" you asked, your voice breaking theo out of his stare on the book "could you help me with this question? it says: 'outline the risks associated with draught of living death. how can wizards prevent accidents?'"

"sorry" theo mumbled, closing his book with a thud, before he dragged back his chair, standing up from your shared table in the library.

"theo?" you asked, wondering what he was doing.

"excuse me" he was already walking away from you.

you were close behind him, your things discarded on the table that theo and you had been sitting at since lunch.

"theo" you called again, your voice louder this time "theodore!"

"shhh" madam pince poked her head around the corner, sending you a warning glance "this is still a library, miss l/n"

"but—“ you tried to argue, raising a hand and pointing it helplessy in theo's direction, who had turned around at madam pince's warning tone.

"silence" madam pince warned again, before she disappeared behind the shelves.

theo sent you a look, a silent sigh escaping his lips, before he continued to leave.

maybe he was finished, maybe he didn't want to discuss this anymore, but you weren't. you followed him.

"why won't you just tell me what's wrong?" you asked, speedwalking beside him. holding pace with him was harder than expected. he had longer legs than you and would normally just walk slower when you were holding hands or walking together. now it was clear that he wasn't inclined on you catching up to him.

theo kept quiet, continuing his way. you could see in his face that he was fighting with himself.

you kept following him. through the halls of the castle, through the gardens, up the steps of the astronomy tower. you didn't say anything as you just sat there, feet dangling over the railing.

"i don't know what's wrong, really" theo said his first words since his sudden leave from the library.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" you asked, your voice just above a soft whisper "i love you and would never judge you, i hope you know that"

theo nodded, his eyes moving back to the sight in front of you. the hogwarts grounds were covered in white and fluffy snow.

the cold hadn’t registered on your skin, even if you could feel the occasional breeze flowing through your hair, moving it around your face.

"why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"

you turned your head in surprise. you saw the conflict on his face and decided that it was better to keep quiet. you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder and interlocking your fingers.

theo seemed fine the rest of the week. he was a lot less quiet than the days before, engaging in conversations with you and your friends, laughing at enzo's antics or reading to you in the library quietly, when you were finished going over the homework together.

"i'm sorry for waking you" mattheo looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in hours. your eyes fell on the clock on the nighstand beside the door, 3 am. "i think theo needs you"

you couldn't even be angry, you were alarmed right that second, already half out of the room, before mattheo's voice reached your ears again.

"would it be alright if i stayed?" he pleaded "i really need to sleep"

you nodded "of course, i'm sure pansy won't mind"

you took two stairs at once, running up to theo's room. he was pacing when you entered, mumbling something to himself and you understood why mattheo hadn't been able to sleep.

"theo" you said softly, tugging on his sleeve. "what's wrong?"

he stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on you. instead, he started to cry.

"hey" you mumbled comfortingly, hugging him. "it's alright" you sat down on the bed together, his head in your lap, while you were trying to calm him down, gentle hands moving through his hair.

"it's not just a phase i'm in" his voice broke out after his crying had stopped a few minutes before.

"okay" you answered. you didn't let go of him for the rest of the night, making sure that he was falling asleep. you lay awake, wondering what was going on with him and what you could do to help. you felt helpless, seeing someone you loved so hopelessly sad and confused.

the next day, theo acted like nothing was wrong. joking about the night before, making it out to be some kind of misconsumption.

"i'm really worried" you argued, shaking your head.

"how many times do i have to tell you, you don't have to be?" theo replied, annoyance dropping from his tongue. "it's fine"

"no, it's not fine, theo" you furrowed your eyebrows, reaching for his hand. "don't shut me out, you're not alone"

despite theo's protests, you did your best to stay close to him at any given moment. it was only one evening the next week that he got you to leave him alone. he had been planning to go out with the guys and you weren't wanted there.

"send a patronus when anything happens, you hear me?" you instructed mattheo an hour before they were supposed to leave "i don't care if theo just hits his head, you tell me, alright?"

"geez, woman" mattheo exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "don't you think you're being a wee bit controlling?"

"oh, so you would like me to tag along, then?" you suggested "telling every girl how big of an idiot you are?"

"oh god, please no"

"then do what i asked you to"

"yeah, yeah"

it seemed that mattheo wasn't scared enough of you, because he had the guts to come and get you at 5 a.m. in the morning after he had watched theo getting piss drunk.

"for what are you good, really?" you said angrily as you followed him to the room. "i ask one thing of you, one thing!"

"it was guys night, y/n" mattheo tried to defend himself "i didn't want theo to limit his fun, because his girlfriend is jealous"

"jealous?" you almost screeched "mattheo riddle, you're going to see how jealous i am, when i rip your throat out"

mattheo raised his hands, stepping back.

"you can wait downstairs" you told him when you reached the door to theo's and mattheo's shared room.

"what?" mattheo's eyes widened "it's 5 a.m. and i'm in my pyjamas"

"i don't care" you smiled sarcastically as you watched him turn around and walk down the stairs, shoulders slumped and not another word of protest leaving his mouth.

the tears spluttered over your cheeks the second you opened the door and saw theo sitting on his bed. he looked so sad, so fragile, as if he'd fall apart with one wrong move.

you sank down on the ground in front of him. "theo, tell me what's going on, please" a sob left your mouth. "let me help you"

theo didn't react to your words, he wasn't even listening.

"i can't remember the last time you were this drunk" you mumbled, trying to lighten the mood, but failing as another few tears dropped from you face and onto the floor.

still no reaction.

your sadness turned into anger quickly. how could he just constantly ignore your worry, telling you he was fine and then do something that would suggest the opposite?

"speak to me!" you said loudly. theo moved, blinking as he recognized the room around him. he looked down at you in confusion. "just say something!"

"y/n, i don't" the tears welled in his eyes "what are you—"

"stop doing this" you screamed "tell me what's wrong"

he sobbed, raising his hands to cover his face and your eyes softened, feeling bad about the way you had just screamed at him, as he broke down in front of you.

"i didn't know" you cried, your voice breaking. you crawled onto the bed beside him and embraced his body like you were scared he was going to evaporate into thin air.

you cried together, your sobs filling the room with sound.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry" theo sobbed.

"shhh" you muttered into his hair, kissing the top of his head. "there's no reason"

you had never seen him like that, so truly broken and it made you feel awful that you had tried to push for him to tell you what was wrong.

"i love you" you said, over and over again, until the words didn't sound like words anymore and then a few more times, making sure that he knew. he had to know, right?

theo didn't say anything, but he tightened his grip on you, pulling you closer by your arm. you didn't let go of him. you held him for seconds, minutes, hours and you would hold him for the rest of his life if that could fix him.

"i think something is wrong" theo's voice was raspy after all the crying.

"yeah" you nodded.

"i think there's been something wrong for a long time" he admitted and his eyes looked so painful as he turned to look at you and your heart broke all over again.

"i'm sorry" you softly took his face in your hands, removing the remains of tears with your thumbs. "i shouldn't have been angry with you, i shouldn't have acted like you were doing it on purpose"

"please, don't be sorry" theo touched your lip and you had to smile, it was his own way of telling you that he loved you without words. "i think it might be because of my mum and everything—" he paused, searching for words "at home"

"i'm here for anything" you assured "we can talk or we can just sit and be silent for hours and we will find someone who can help you"

"thank you"

"there's nothing to thank me for" you shook your head. "just promise me you'll talk to someone"

"i will" theo nodded.

"good" you smiled softly, kissing his forehead "i was just so scared that something would happen to you"

"i know" theo nodded, shame lingering in his eyes "i had a hard time believing anything i was hearing lately, like everyone was just lying to me"

"you can believe in one thing, i won't go away"

theo softly smiled at your words, holding you tightly to his chest. "i won't go away, either" he promised and that promise worked like a spell of assurance for your heart that had been so heavy these past weeks.

—so high school

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: he knows how to ball, you know aristotle and your friends know you’re a perfect match

warnings: a tiny bit suggestive, but mostly just cute fluff

note: this was so fun to write :)

@mqstermindswift

"you're already on page 200?" you didn't even hear the voice beside as you were so concentrated on staring at the slytherin table.

it was a rather warm thursday morning in november as you sat at breakfast with your friends. the hall was bustling with the excited chatter about the upcoming quidditch game between slytherin and gryffindor and it seemed like the team had never been fitter.

slytherin was a strong opponent, even the most stubborn gryffindor had to admit that.

"earth to y/n" hermione waved her hand before your eyes and you focused your eyes on her.

"huh?"

"ron asked you something" hermione nudged your arm softly and your head turned in ron's direction.

"yeah" you nodded, absentmindedly "what was your question?"

harry and hermione giggled, while ron looked a bit offended at your lack of interest.

"if you would stop staring at our biggest enemies, maybe you could hear what i'm saying"

"calm down" harry rolled his eyes "it's just a quidditch match"

"funny that you of all people are saying that" ginny spoke up from next to the boy "as if you weren't the one reserving the quidditch pitch every single afternoon for two weeks straight for practice"

"well, they're not bad at what they do, are they?" harry said defensively and ginny shrugged.

with a sigh, and a piece of paper in the middle to mark your page, you closed your book, having lost the last bit of interest in continuing.

"you just started this yesterday" ron resumed to the question he had asked you a few minutes ago "how come you're already so far in?"

"i'm just a quick reader"

"yeah, sure" hermione laughed "or maybe because reading a book gives you an excuse to stare at theodore nott from time to time, while he is doing his homework in the library"

"i'm not" you said rather loudly, before your voice returned to a whisper "i'm not staring at theodore nott"

"sure you aren't" hermione leaned closer over the table and send you a teasing glance. "i never even saw you so much as glance in his direction"

"yeah, right" you nodded, not catching the obvious sarcasm in her tone.

"eh, ladies?" harry asked with a turned head "he's coming right this way"

"what?" you and hermione asked at the same time as ron asked "who?"

"nott" harry quickly whispered, before said boy laid a hand on the tabletop right in front of the chosen one, his eyes clearly on you.

"hey" theodore nott said friendly and your eyes widened. he was wearing his usual slytherin uniform, but his tie was loosened as it was hanging around his neck. you had the sudden urge to fix it, but had the strength to hold you back from it.

"hi" you were quick to answer.

before he could explain what he was trying to do, ron interrupted your very short conversation "quite bold coming here" he raised his eyebrows at the boy.

"ron" hermione quickly scolded, but theo shook his head laughing.

"he's not wrong" theo said and then smiled at you "i'm rather bold"

hermione noticed that you and the boy were too busy staring at each other, so she did what she could to help you. "were you trying to ask y/n something, theodore?"

"yeah, actually" theo nodded and your heart was thumping so loudly, you feared he could hear it. "are you coming to the quidditch match next friday?"

ron groaned, which was quickly followed by a cry of pain as hermione kicked him under the table.

"sure" you smiled at the boy.

"great" theo smiled and his smile was so dreamy, you feared you would simply pass out. "i'll see you then" he tapped his invisible hat, before he turned around and walked back to the slytherin table where his friends were waiting for him.

you rested your chin on your hand, as you watched after him.

"is she coming to the quidditch match?" harry repeated confused.

"yeah" ron added, rolling his eyes "that is the stupidest question i've ever heard, i mean her own house is playing and her brother is captain of the team"

"maybe he doesn't know that" you muttered.

"doesn't know what?" hermione laughed "that you and harry are siblings? i highly doubt it"

"then why is he running around asking stupid questions?" ron crossed his arms. he was clearly not liking the way both you and hermione seemed so fond of the slytherin boy.

"good point" harry pointed in ron's direction.

ginny and hermione exchanged a look, before the latter began to speak. "you guys clearly don't get it. he wanted an excuse to speak to y/n"

"why should he want to speak to y/n?" ron seemed like he had made it his personal mission to sound like an idiot.

"ron!" ginny scolded before she hit the arm of her older brother "he wants to speak to y/n, because he's clearly in love with her"

you head spun around so fast, that harry almost choked on his pumpkin juice. "he's what?" you and ron asked at the same time.

"oh this is so romantic" ginny muttered while she stared at you dreamingly.

hermione couldn't help but smile at your horrified facial expression. "aren't you happy about that?" she laughed.

you shook your head. "happy?" you repeated "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me"

"i thought you liked him?" harry asked and you couldn't help but smile at the compassionate tone in his voice. he normally hated when you would speak about boys.

"i do" you admitted almost silently as your cheeks turned rosy. "but staring at him was so much easier than actually talking to him. him liking me back possibly means that we could get into a relationship. this is way too real"

"women" ron cried helplessly. "you never know what you want"

"oh i know what i want" you laughed sarcastically.

"and that would be?" harry asked and he seemed just as confused as ron.

"for that boy to stay far away on his side of the hall" you nodded, before you gathered your book and stood up from the table. "now, please excuse me, i have to go get my things before class starts. on top of that i spent enough time today talking about boys"

your friends smiled as you waved goodbye at them and left the great hall.

"she can't be serious, right?" harry asked hermione and ginny.

"i don't even know" hermione shrugged, before she quickly changed the topic, knowing you wouldn't appreciate them talking about you behind your back.

you walked through the corridor and in the direction of the gryffindor common room. it wasn't that you didn't like theo, it was more that you really liked him that was the scary part.

you had liked him since the beginning of the year and you were scared that reality couldn't come close to the fantasy you had build around the boy.

you admired so much about him. his interest in quidditch and that he, even when slytherin lost, was never unfair. he was smart, without being unkind to people when they were wrong. he liked silence as much as he liked talking to his friends. and sometimes when his eyes would fall upon you, there was a friendly glint in them which would make your heart flutter.

but maybe theo wasn't all that. maybe he was different than anything you had observed about him. you would prefer to always just imagine things, rather than having them destroyed. it wouldn't be his fault if he wasn't like you had imagined him to be, it would be all yours, but you would also hurt his feelings in the process and that just wasn't fair.

later, after the first few lessons of the day, you didn't go to lunch as you normally did, but sat down in the library, starting your potions essay.

"i see you're already on that, huh?" you shrieked at the sudden voice beside you. theo was leaning on the shelf next to you and raised his eyebrows at your expression. "i didn't mean to startle you"

"you didn't" you shook your head, but he could clearly see through your lie. "why are you here?" you asked, quickly distracting from what you had said.

"i was looking for you" theo said matter of factly as he walked around the table and sat down in front of you "you weren't at lunch so i came here"

"how did you know where i was?"

"i often see you reading or doing homework here, so i figured it was worth a try"

you nodded at his words. "and why were you looking for me?"

he laughed at your persistency "i fear i made an idiot ouf of myself at breakfast this morning"

"i don't think that's possible" your argued.

"it happens more often than you would think"

"does it now?" you laughed and theo closed his eyes as embarrassment flooded his features.

"i'm sorry" he said "i never seem to find the right words when talking to you"

you had to smile at the honesty with which he admitted that. "i don't think you're an idiot" you said softly and theo smiled relieved.

"i'm glad you don't" he stood up "it would be too bad if i already lost all my chances with you after two conversations. assuming i even have a chance with you?“

you watched his features closely. the lips that were turned upright in an unsure smile, the flushed cheeks and the glint of hope in his blue eyes. you thought for a moment, deciding that there was no reason for you to be afraid. the boy had clearly proved that he was as kind as you had imagined him to be. "yeah" you smiled up at him "you do"

"great" theo smiled "good luck on your essay"

"thank you" you watched him walk out of the library before you rolled up the parchment and took out your novel, deciding it was the right time to continue reading it, while your heart was fluttering inside your chest.

the next morning your were sitting at the gryffindor table as usual, turning the pages as you read your book and ate breakfast at the same time.

"you guys must be so excited for friday" luna said when she sat down next to ginny and harry. "this is your first game, right ron?"

ron eagerly nodded his head, the nerves playing inside his mind these past few weeks.

"he's a bit nervous" harry smiled and luna nodded understandingly.

"morning" a voice behind harry said and all your friends turned their heads.

"y/n?" ron asked at your lack of reaction.

"i warn you, if you're interrupting me to ask something unimportant again..." you mumbled, your eyes still fixated on the book in front of you.

"i don't think that's what he was planning to do" hermione giggled and you looked up, then turning your head in the direction in which she was looking, only now seeing theo standing next to you.

"good morning" theo repeated and you smiled.

"hey"

"may i?" he pointed at the empty spot on the bench beside you and you nodded.

hermione and ginny exchanged a look as harry and ron did the same.

theo muttered something into your ear, which none of your friends could hear, making you laugh and nod.

then he began eating like normal. occasionally he would whisper something at you, waiting for your answer, before the both of you referred back to eating and reading in your case.

your friends watched with wide eyes how quickly you and theo had fallen into a simple rhythm in which both of you were biting down at your toast and he would turn the page of your book anytime you nodded.

"is this the twilight zone?" ron whispered.

"how do you know what the twilight zone is?" hermione whispered back harshly and ron shrugged.

theo and you had finished eating, when he muttered something to you once again and you nodded, gathering your book as you both stood up.

"wait, where are you going?" ron asked.

"uh, doing our homework" you quickly excused, before you followed theo out of the hall, both of your giggling.

all of your friends had been watching you with dumbfounded expressions. and to their horror, the days of unexpected absurdities did not end there.

theo came to sit with you and your friends every day of the following week. engaging in friendly conversation and spending much time around you in general. on two mornings your friends had even seen you sitting with theo's friends.

theo even came to sit with you on the day of the quidditch match, going as far as wishing harry and ron luck.

later that day, when they were all sitting around in the courtyard, draco malfoy, followed by the rest of his friends, walked closer. you and theo had been nowhere to be found, as usual for this past week.

harry, expecting the usual kind of insults, sighed when his eyes fell on malfoy.

"malfoy" he greeted.

"potter" malfoy nodded and the gryffindors perked up at the lack of hostility in his tone. he looked to his friends (mattheo, lorenzo and blaise) and then back to the dark haired boy, before he sighed. "seems like your sister and our boy are in love now or something"

harry quirked a brow while him and hermione exchanged a look.

"and as much as i hate that, i think we'll have to expect some sort of—" he stopped, searching for the right word, while spotting a disgusted expression "involvement with each other"

"we don't need to be friends" harry shrugged and hermione nodded. ron rolled his eyes, annoyed that they were even talking with malfoy in the first place and ginny just seemed confused, as blaise raised his hand and waved at her, blowing her a kiss in the next second.

"i agree" draco nodded "but theo is, sadly, too kind for his own good"

"yeah" mattheo added as he saw the confused look on harry's features "he wants to make sure that there is no animosity between us and y/n's friends, as he put it"

"well, that's nice" hermione nodded impressed.

draco send her a tortured expression. "yeah, whatever"

"we just wanted to make sure that all of us agree to be respectful of theo's and y/n's relationship" enzo smiled and immediately received an elbow from draco to his side.

"no need to be so cheerful about it" the blonde boy muttered.

"anyway" hermione concluded, with a stern undertone in her voice, as she stepped next to harry, "we should all do what is best for our friends, right guys?" she turned around to also receive ginny's and ron's agreement.

ginny nodded "of course" before she nudged ron, until he reluctantly nodded his head as well.

"great" draco nodded, before he outstretched his hand to shake harry's "potter"

"malfoy" harry replied as he shook the boys hand, agreeing to give their rivalry a rest for the sake of their friends. "we're still going to destroy you in the game today"

"wouldn't expect any less" draco almost smiled.

the boys turned around to leave, blaise hitting harrys shoulder in a friendly manner, before they were interrupted by theo and you coming around the corner, laughing.

"hey guys" you greeted and to the gryffindors surprise, the slytherins replied to your greeting, which didn't seem as forced as them talking to your friends before.

theo nudged your shoulder, saying a quick goodbye, before he left you with your friends and followed his friends out of the courtyard.

"what the fuck?" ginny said the moment the boys had been far enough away and you had sat down in the grass beside her.

"i can't believe what just happened" hermione seemed just as surprised and harry nodded. even ron did not say anything.

"what?" you laughed as you looked between the stunned faces of your friends.

"i think draco malfoy just apologized or something"

"he did?" you wondered as you turned in the direction in which the boys had disappeared.

"i don't know what you did" harry said "but it's clearly more powerful than any kind of magic i've ever witnessed"

"i think theo really really likes you" hermione muttered "at least enough to have a stern word with his friends. it's important for him that they behave"

"we hung out with them a few hours ago" you explained "they're friendly and quite funny. even draco, when he wants to"

"i can't grasp this" ron mumbled "just a little more than a week ago you said theodore nott speaking to you was the worst thing that's ever happened and now you're both basically married, blending your families like in that adam sandler movie"

"what is it with you and muggle television references?" ginny muttered confused, while ron just shrugged once again.

"well, i don't know" you smiled "i had feared that he would be totally different than what i had expected, but he isn't. he is even better than that. he's funny and kind and speaking to him is so easy"

"you're really like him, don't you?" harry asked and you softly nodded as your cheeks turned red.

"i do" you looked between your friends "is that okay with you guys?"

"if even draco malfoy behaves himself just because theodore told him to, i fear that he can't get any more perfect for you" hermione joked "so of course it's okay with us"

"harry?" you asked hopeful as all eyes turned to your brother, not even ron dared to protest.

"i just want you to be happy" he shrugged "and it seems like that's all what nott wants too"

you smiled while you hugged him. "i'll have to change before the game, are you coming with?" you asked ginny and hermione, who excitedly giggled at the possibility to hear all the details on your and theo's afternoon.

you took your time getting ready for the game, loudly singing along to your favorite songs as you looked for the perfect outfit and did your make up.

ginny and hermione exchanged glances anytime you would speak about theo and your smile was so big you looked like you could've burst.

you arrived perfectly on time to the game. it took longer than any other one you had watched, both gryffindor and slytherin being strong teams and constantly cancelling each other out.

finally the game ended, when draco caught the snitch and the points of the slytherin outweighed the gryffindors.

the mood in the gryffindor stands was quite sour, but you couldn't help but be a bit excited for theo, who had thrown a lot of goals.

"hey" you smiled as theo came out of the slytherin changing rooms. his hair still dripping from the shower he had taken moments prior.

"hey" he answered "where are your friends?" he looked around you, noticing the almost empty gryffindor stands. it was cute that he worried they had just left you here.

"oh, i told them to go without me" you shrugged "i wanted to wait for you" theo smiled as that.

"then lets go" he outstretched his hand and you took it, like it was perfectly normal for you both to hold hands. "there's a party, at the slytherin common room"

"are you inviting me?" you laughed and theo nodded.

"yeah, i thought maybe you'd like to come"

"ron was right, i am absolutely fraternizing with the enemy"

theo shrugged, but nodded "looks like we're both going to hell"

you laughed at that, but quickly stopped when he let go of your hand. you looked up at him in surprise, but he did not say anything. instead he used his now free hand, to open the castles door for you.

you turned around as you waited for him to enter and close the door too.

“well, and they say chivalry is—“ he turned around joking, but was quickly interrupted by you pressing your lips to his. his bag hit the ground with a thud, as he pulled you closer by your hips.

the world seemed to fade away as you melted into the kiss. theo's arms tightened around you, his fingers pressing into the small of your back as if he never wanted to let go. the warmth of his touch and the intensity of the moment sent shivers down your spine.

breaking the kiss, you rested your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath. theo's eyes were darker, more intense than you'd ever seen them. "i've wanted to do that since you made draco trip in our third year" he whispered, his voice husky.

"what?" you laughed.

"i think he said something stupid like he normally does, but you had that expression on your face, like you wouldn't just let him get away with it and before i could finish thinking about what you planned to do, you raised your foot and draco fell over"

"oh, yeah" you giggled "i remember that"

"he whined for weeks about you and your stupid gryffindor friends" theo explained "and all i could think about was that you were the most beautiful girl i had ever seen. i wanted to speak to you ever since then, but never had the guts to"

"what changed your mind?" your voice was just above a whisper as you looked up to him with big eyes.

"my friends and you"

you furrowed your brows, confused how he meant that.

"well, my friends always tried to get me to just speak to you, but what really got me to do it, was when you started seeing me. back in third year i wasn't even sure you knew my name and then you had that boyfriend for two years and i thought everything was over, but then we ran into each other at the start of the year, do you remember?"

"i do" you admitted truthfully. you remembered it so clearly, it was the moment you had begun to like him, as he went to grab your book, that had fallen out of your hands and smiled up at you with such kind eyes.

"you thanked me for getting your book" theo recalled "and you actually knew my name"

"i didn't know you liked me for that long" you said "i thought i was just having a one sided crush on someone i could never have a relationship with"

"it's very far from one sided" theo smiled "and i promise i'll be better than any boyfriend you have had before"

you smiled at him, before you once again connected your lips. he walked you backwards, until your back was pressed against the wall. you were sure you had never met someone that was so good at kissing.

"no ones ever had me" you mumbled between kisses and catching your breath "not like you, theodore nott"

—superman

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo won’t leave you alone after you broke your leg, you’re not sure you appreciate it that much

warnings: leg injury, but nothing else i think

students were jumping to the side as pansy parkinson was rushing through the halls of hogwarts, eager to spot the dark-haired boy she had been looking for for the past ten minutes.

“theo!” pansy called when she spotted him in the library, chatting away with the rest of their friends.

“hey, pansy” theo greeted but he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed her expression. “are you alright?”

“it’s not me” pansy shook her head “it’s y/n”

the chair made a loud sound as it was pushed over the floor as theo stood up abruptly “is she alright?”

“she’s in the infirmary” pansy turned around and theo was close behind her, following her back out of the library and down the hall.

“what happened?” theo asked as pansy started moving even faster. “pansy”

“i think it’s something serious” pansy answered “she send me a patronus to get you and meet her there”

“shit” theo was brushing a hand through his hair, his face having lost all its color. they were rushing through the hallway and theo was trying his best to not fall into a sprint, fearing that pansy would not be able to keep up.

finally, the door to the infirmary flew open and theo and pansy walked into the room. a few curtains had been drawn close and madam pomfrey looked up at the sudden commotion.

“mister nott, miss parkinson” she greeted friendly and like she had suspected them both to arrive here soon

“where is y/n?” pansy asked out of breath

madam pomfrey smiled and pointed to the bed a few ones down. the curtain was closed and theo, closely followed by pansy, rushed forward, pulling it to the side.

“hey guys” you were sitting in bed, eating some jell-o. the rest of your body was under the blanket and a bit of your foot, wrapped up in blue bandages, showed up at the end.

“are you alright?” theo asked confused

“oh yeah” you laughed, making a throwaway hand gesture “i’m perfectly fine. poppy has been keeping me company”

“poppy?” pansy repeated confused. her and theo exchanged a glance, while you were busy waving at madam pomfrey

“this jell-o is amazing!”

“thank you, dear” she smiled and theo watched you gulp another giant piece of bright green jell-o.

“do you guys want some?” you held the bowl in their direction but both of them shook their heads.

“what happened? why are you even here?” theo asked

“yeah” pansy added, crossing her arms “and why do you call madam pomfrey poppy?” she whispered

“well, i fell down my broom” you brushed the blanket to the side, exposing your bandaged foot “it’s broken and it hurt like hell to put back in place, but whatever” you shrugged, slurping the rest of your jell-o down

“what?” theo and pansy exclaimed at the same time.

“i’ve been here for some time” you nodded “so poppy and i became kinda friends i guess”

“so when exactly did you have that accident?” theo asked exasperated

“oh, like this morning?” you wondered “right before classes began”

“it’s almost seven” pansy noted “that’s like ten hours ago, y/n”

“she’s right” theo nodded “you only thought about calling us now?”

“well you were in class and then i slept for a while, so yeah” you shrugged your shoulders, while your friends exchanged confused glances.

"so, y/n" madam pomfrey said when she came back to your bed "i'd say you're good to go. i got you a few more pain potions from professor snape that you can take whenever you feel like you need some, but apart from that you should be alright. we can remove the cast in two weeks, thanks to the quick healing potion i gave you"

"thank you, poppy"

the woman nodded, before she called for a house elf, who brought you crutches you could use during the time your leg needed to heal.

"you're free to take her back to the common room" madam pomfrey instructed pansy and theo. "she needs a bit of rest, but she should be alright to go back to classes on monday"

"so soon?" theo's eyes widened and the protectiveness was evident in his voice.

"of course, mr nott" madam pomfrey laughed at the boys eagerness "we don't want her to miss too much, or grow bored in her dorm, but i'm sure that y/n will gracefully accept any assistance you're willing to provide"

she really shouldn't have said that last part, because theo eagerly nodded. at that moment you had thought that theo's help would be a blessing, but over the coming week you quickly learned how wrong your judgement had been.

he spend every minute close to you, and with that there was no exception. even when you went to the toilet, he was waiting in front of the door for you to return.

he carried your books to every class, even if you didn't share it and made sure to wait after it was over. he often even carried you around, claiming that it had to be far too straining for you to walk around on crutches the whole day.

you loved theo for all the care he was directing your way, but you were also getting tired of it.

it wasn't until thursday that you were able to escape his sight for the first time. and that was only thanks to pansy and mattheo, who had promised you to keep him occupied so you could slip away.

you arrived at the infirmary quicker than you had thought was possible due to your injury, but you were sure it was because of the fear that theo was already chasing you.

"y/n" madam pomfrey said surprised when she saw you standing in the door.

"poppy" you ecxlaimed relieved at the sight of the older woman. "you have to give me something that'll make my leg heal faster, please"

"i can't" madam pomfrey shook her head "the healing potion i gave you a few days ago is the quickest there is. it's only one more week, i'm sure you can wait that long"

"no" you shook your head "another week is way too long"

"i'm sorry, but you'll have to endure that" madam pomfrey excused "healing takes time, sweetheart, like everything else"

"okay, sure" you nodded "can you take me back then? it's probably not beneficial for me to walk around and possibly jeopardize the healing"

madam pomfrey laughed and you send her a sulky look, before she suddenly stopped.

"oh" she exclaimed surprised "you were serious"

"of course" you crossed your arms, which was kind of hard with the crutches still in hand "i wouldn't joke about such a thing, poppy"

"but why would you—"

"here you are" you turned around slowly, like voldemort himself was standing behind you. it wasn't voldemort, but you had to admit, that you would've preferred him.

"theo" you smiled through clenched teeth.

"i searched half the castle for your whereabouts" now that he mentioned it, he did sound out of breath. "walking through the whole castle must've been tiring for you, why didn't you ask me to come with you? i could've carried you if necessary"

you turned your head to look at madam pomfrey, who seemed to slowly understand your situation as she looked a bit disturbed about theo's monologue. you send her a look to the extent of: this is what i had to deal with all week, before you turned back to the boy behind you.

"it's alright, theo" you smiled "i'm fine, really"

"are you sure, love?" theo furrowed his brows "because we do have to walk all the way back and down to the dungeons. you know what? maybe it would be smarter for me to carry you" he was already bending down, a hand on the small of your back, while his other was reaching for your healthy leg.

your eyes widened at that and you jumped away, so his hand was grabbing the air. theo furrowed his brows, but did not say anything, as he walked a step closer and tried the same again, with you hopping away just before he could reach your leg with his hand once more.

"what are you doing?" theo muttered as he grew embarrassed of your little charade in front of madam pomfrey.

madam pomfrey was grinning at the ridiculous dance the two of you were acting out in front of her eyes. she almost felt sorry for theo as he helplessly tried to lift you off the ground, back bend and his body in an umcomfortable stretch.

"what are you—" he reached around you and you quickly slipped away, hiding behind madam pomfrey. "y/n" theo sighed, when he looked up.

"i can walk on my own" you said defensively, one crutch in your hand, the other laying on the ground beside theo.

"but it's easier if i just carry you" theo pleaded "come on, don't be difficult"

you perked your nose up, offended by his words.

theo sighed again. "sorry, that was stupid" he shrugged "can i now help you please?"

you sighed too, exchanging a look with madam pomfrey, who shrugged, before you nodded. you hopped back in theo's direction. collecting your other clutch from the ground before your raised both of them up, waiting for theo to lift you.

"see?" theo mumbled, when you both had said goodbye to madam pomfrey and were on your way back to the slytherin common room. "it's way easier this way"

"yeah, yeah" you nodded, still a bit offended about the way he held you for completely uncapable. you knew he meant good, but god you couldn't wait to get rid of this stupid cast.

he sat you down on the couch, your leg prepped up beside you on a pillow and enlightened the flame in the fireplace.

"thank you, theo" you said reluctantly. "i really do appreciate your help, even if i think you could tone it down a bit"

theo smiled. "it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt"

"it isn't" you assured "but thank you"

you had laid back your head, lazily closing your eyes. theo was right, walking around all day was tiring for you.

"don't be a baby, draco" pansy's voice made both theo and you shriek up. you had fallen asleep, his head on top of yours.

"it hurts terribly" draco said defensively.

"i can't be that bad when she let you go back to the common room after two hours in the hospital wing" mattheo remarked.

pansy and mattheo had walked in first. behind them draco... on crutches!

"i don't even understand that! y/n was there for a whole day"

"well, y/n's not such a nuisance" pansy remarked, dashing out of the way, before draco could hit her with one of his crutches.

"what happened?" you asked and it was only then that the three of them noticed theo and you.

"i broke my leg" draco answered "it was a terrible accident, actually"

"was it?" mattheo had to hold back his laughter. "we were trying to finish our divination project, when draco said it was stupid, spilled his tea and promptly slipped on it"

"yeah, as i said, terrible accident"

"deserved accident" pansy corrected "i was not finished with that cup"

"whatever" draco threw himself down on the cushion beside you "the next two weeks are going to be torture.“

"don't worry" you smiled "i bet theo is burning to help you. are you gonna carry him around too, theo?" you asked, turning to your brunette friend and trying hard to stifle your laughter at the expression on his face.

"oh that would be pretty helpful" draco muttered, before theo had a chance to intervene.

"i don't think i—" theo tried explaining, but you interrupted him.

"it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt" you quoted his own words back to him, voice a bit lower than usual "weren't that your words?"

"i can't carry draco around" theo protested again.

"why not?" mattheo smiled smugly, having witnessed all the times theo had insisted on carrying you. "you did carry y/n around a lot"

"that's different"

"how is that different?" pansy wondered. you could see that she was enjoying the way, theo was helplessly searching for a way out of this conversation. "y/n's leg is broken, so is draco's"

"you can't really expect me to do this, guys" theo laughed uncomfortably, his laughter quickly dying out at all your serious expressions.

"don't you love me, mate?" draco asked disappointed and clearly high on medicine.

theo's face turned a shade paler. "draco, it's not that i don't care—"

"come on, theo," draco pouted dramatically, "i'm your best mate. plus, it's your obligation to help friends who are hurt, remember?"

you almost had to giggle. draco was acting totally out of character, clearly being the cause of all the medication madam pomfrey had given him. you could remember how you had felt after..

pansy crossed her arms, thoroughly enjoying theo's discomfort. "you can't argue with that, theo."

theo sighed deeply, realizing there was no way out. "fine, but only if you promise to stop calling me out for being too helpful."

draco's eyes lit up. "deal! now, could you please carry me to my bed? i think the couch isn't comfortable enough for my poor leg."

suppressing a groan, theo bent down to lift draco. as he did, draco whispered, "be gentle, theo. i’m very fragile right now."

"more than usual?" you laughed and draco crossed his arms, offended at the joke.

mattheo, pansy and you struggled to contain your laughter as theo gingerly picked draco up, muttering under his breath about "suffering for friendship."

draco grinned as theo carried him out of the common room. pansy turned to you, shaking her head in mock disbelief. "honestly, this might be the best entertainment we've had in weeks."

"agreed," you laughed, watching the spectacle.

you all shared a good laugh, your worries about theo's overprotectiveness momentarily forgotten. when theo returned, looking thoroughly exhausted, you couldn't help but smirk.

"enjoy your workout, theo?" you teased.

theo shot you a tired but good-natured glare. "just remember, y/n, i'm doing this out of love."

pansy snorted. "and draco’s enjoying every minute of it out of sheer spite."

"i think he'll come back to his senses tomorrow" mattheo announced, before he, quickly followed by pansy, excused himself to bed.

"in all seriousness" theo said, turning to you after your friends had left "i did it out of love for you too"

you smiled at him, admittedly feeling a bit bad about the way you had treated him, even though he was just trying to help you. "i'm sorry" you excused "i shouldn't have been as dramatic as i was, you were trying to be nice and i ruined it"

"i wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, you know?" theo shrugged "i admire that you always handle things on your own, but it was really courageous and sweet of you to accept my help."

"thanks" you grinned "and just so you know, i did it out of love"

theo's smile widened, his gaze softening as he looked at you. there was a moment of silent understanding between the two of you, a mutual recognition of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. slowly, he leaned in closer, his hand gently reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

your heart skipped a beat as his warm breath tickled your skin. the air around you seemed to crackle with anticipation as he closed the gap between you. his lips met yours in a tender kiss, a gentle affirmation of the unspoken emotions that had brought you both here.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and contentment.

“i’m glad i finally did that” he admitted.

"me too," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his cheek. "but you could've kissed me without hurting your back all week"

"well, any reason to be close to you is a good one" he grinned sheepishly, before he kissed you again.

—bigger than the whole sky

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you get bad news and theo is conflicted about it being his fault

warnings: sad, but ends in (kinda) fluff, trauma, mentions of war

theo was watching you as he always did as you sat at the avenclaw table, chattering with your friends.

his friends were used to that weird habit of his, it seemed like wherever you went, theo was close to watch over you.

"what is it with you and that girl?" mattheo's voice made theo raise his head.

"y/n?" theo asked surprised.

"of course, y/n" blaise rolled his eyes next to him. "what other girl could he possibly mean? all you ever do is stare at her"

"we're friends" theo shrugged. it was true. you guys weren't the best friends in the world but would occasionally meet up on the astronomy tower since you had run into each other there in third year. theo had recognized the book under your arm and you had spend and hour sitting and talking about it.

you often came there now to exchange books and read in silence or talk about them after you had finished them.

"yeah, looks like it" draco said sarcastically as he watched theo's eyes glide back to your form.

"just admit you're in love with her and they'll stop bugging you" pansy nudged the tall boy next to her and theo just shrugged.

"i don't know"

"you don't know, what?" draco asked with a raised brow "you don't know if you're in love with her?"

theo nodded his head and his friends sighed simultaneously.

"how can you not know that?" enzo spoke for the first time "have you never been in love?"

"just because you fall in love with every girl you see, doesn't mean we all do" mattheo joked and enzo frowned at him.

"i'm just not sure, okay?" theo said defensively, without taking his eyes off of you "and even if.. it would never work"

without theo noticing, pansy smiled at him, as he watched his eyes light up as you noticed his eyes and raised your hand, waving at him. "how do you feel around her?" pansy asked softly.

"warm" theo simply said, before he continued "when she looks at me, it feels like the sun glazing my skin during the summer. and when she laughs it sounds like the wind moving the trees. i have the need to keep her safe all the time, even though i know that nothing will happen to her here"

"i think you have your answer, mate" blaise said and theo had never noticed him sounding so sincere and serious. he looked between his friends. they all spotted a similar expression, atleast until his eyes fell on pansy, who looked like she was about to cry.

"that was beautiful" she muttered, while she snuffled her nose "why don't you ever say things like that about me, draco?"

draco's eyes widened in surprise, before his face spotted an expression similar to betrayal, as he turned his head to look at theo. "thanks, mate, for raising the bar to the sky"

pansy slapped his arm and draco's eyes were back on her again, just like theo had already turned his head back at you, not even hearing a word of what draco had said.

you threw your head back, laughing at something the girl next to you had said, before you turned your head and raised your eyebrows in surprise as an unfamiliar owl landed on the table in front of you.

theo raised his eyebrows too. he watched as you ripped open the letter and your eyes scanned the paper. he could not read the expression on your face and was wondering what you were thinking, when you quickly muttered something to the girl next to you and stood up, rushing out of the hall.

"was she crying?" blaise asked surprised and theo quickly remembered seeing a few tears slipping over your cheeks.

and then he knew what letter you had just gotten.

"a ministry owl" he said for his friends to hear. he didn't have to further explain. they all knew what that meant

"oh" pansy said and all color vanished from her face. "do you think..?" she left the question unfinished and theo just nodded.

"where do you think she'll go?"

"i know where" theo muttered "but i'm not sure that i should be the one to comfort her now"

"what? why not?" mattheo shrugged "you clearly love her"

theo looked up from the table and his friends noticed the hint of tears in his eyes "what if it was my father? i can't possibly try to comfort her, when i'm one of them, can i?"

"you're not one of them" pansy shook her head "you're not you're father, none of us are our parents"

"that doesn't matter. there's a war brewing and when it comes down to it, i'm on the wrong side"

"you're still her friend" draco argued.

"draco is right and that you're conflicted on all this shows how much you care enough to not let your beliefs come between you two" pansy said.

"go" enzo nodded.

theo stood up from the table and walked out of the hall in a quick step. he took two steps at once when he walked up the astronomy tower. just like he expected you were already there.

you were staring down to the grounds of hogwarts, while quite tears ran over your cheeks. they were reddened just like your eyes and despite it all, theo thought that you were incredibly beautiful.

you turned around when one of the floorboards made a sound when he stepped closer, but quickly relaxed once you noticed it was him.

"hey" theo muttered, before he sat down beside you. "is it alright if i sit with you?"

"you already are" you shrugged, but there was no malicious intent in your voice and theo relaxed.

you sighed, before you pushed the letter from the ministry in the taller boys direction. theo's eyes scanned the words on the page.

"they burned our whole house down" theo looked up from the paper when you started speaking. "they didn't find my parents once the aurors arrived. they're not sure if they could flee, or if the death eaters took them"

"i'm sorry" theo muttered, while he folded the paper. "i hope they're alright. i wish i could do something"

"you've come here" you said softly, before you moved closer to him and put your head an his shoulder. theo reluctantly raised his arm and then gently rested his hand on your shoulder, pulling you closer.

"do they know who did it?"

"mmh?"

"do they know which death eaters—“ you sat up suddenly and theo fell silent.

you frowned at him, scrunching your eyebrows together as you thought about what he was implying with that. you were not stupid, you knew that many of your classmates parent's were involved with the wrong people.

theo just stared at you blankly, while you did the same. neither of you said a word, before he tried to look away.

"what are you talking about?" you asked, bringing his attention back to you.

"nothing, i just--"

you could read the sadness and regret in his eyes. he looked like he was personally at fault for whatever had happened to your home and family.

"you think your father could have done it"

his eyes widened when he heard the anger in your voice. he watched as you stood up from the floor and walked to the middle of the tower.

"y/n" theo muttered, as he rose to his feet and followed you. he was interpreting your anger in the wrong way. "i'm sorry, i know that i--"

"that you what?" you said angrily as your turned around to look at him. "this is not your fault, theo. you don't get to think or say it is"

theo raised his eyebrows as he realized what you were really angry about. you weren't angry that both of your lifes had been dedicated to opposing sides through the acting of your parents. no, you were angry that he thought he was somehow to blame for something that had been decided before he was born.

"i don't know what i can do, y/n" theo said helplessly "i want to comfort you, but how could i when there's a chance that i'm a part of what caused your hurt" "you're not part of any hurt, theo" you shook your head "what's happening out there has nothing to do with you and me"

"but what if it has?" theo gulped and tears shimmered in his eyes "what if the war comes and we have to kill each other"

"i won't let it come to that"

"how can you know?"

"i don't know anything, i just know that right now, all i want is for you to hold me"

theo looked at you for a few seconds and you weren't sure if he would just turn around and walk away, but he softly nodded his head, before he opened his arms, so that you could step inside.

after a few minutes, you softly stepped back and took his face in both of your hands.

"i don't know what's going to happen to us, theo" you whispered as theo watched you closely. he felt the warmth of your hands on his cheeks and your touch felt so familiar that he wasn't sure if he could ever live without it. "all i know is that we will not become the victims of our parents decisions"

theo nodded and you did the same. he softly kissed your forehead, before he brought you back to his chest and just held you for what felt long enough to fix anything that had not yet happened to you.

—last kiss

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you spend time at the most beautiful place on earth and it belongs just to the both of you

note: this is my entry for the jinxed july challenge of @finalgirllx and @thatdammchickennugget

warnings: mentions of death

"last one there owes the other a secret"

blades of grass whip against your legs. wind floods your hair and the sun kisses your skin. you're probably hardly as fast as him, but you still don't stop sprinting.

"come on!" he calls loudly, his voice flying over the field and even though you know you're already running as fast as possible, you feel yourself speeding up. 

"i'm not as fast" you scream, while laughing.

"excuses" theo replies. 

your breath is heavy and you're sure your lungs will combust any second now, but before that can happen, he stops, turning his body to look at you. 

theo's face is so beautiful that you might just start crying. his eyes are blue, resembling the darkest spot in the ocean and his lips are curved upwards as he smiles at you. his hair looks soft and warm, enlightened by the sun. 

you stop in front of him, catching your breath. 

he bends down to pick a flower, pushing it behind your ear. "you look so pretty" he says. 

you say nothing. you just smile, wondering how he can say something like that when he himself looks like a greek god. 

"come on" theo says once again, outstretching his hand and taking yours. he walks you through the flower field, further and further than from where you came. 

"where are we going?" you ask, your voice just above a whisper. it's so quiet, you don't even have to speak louder for him to understand.

"a special place" theo answers and you roll your eyes behind his back. "a surprise i set up"

"you're so secretive" you laugh, slapping his arm. 

"and you're impatient."

you shake your head, what he can't see of course, but still. 

there's a bit of space in the middle of the big field, a tree hanging over the field and making space from the flowers around it. there's a blanket waiting and a basket. 

the place is absolutely beautiful just in itself, but theo made a point to decorate the tree and the blanket.

"it's gorgeous" you gush, taking his face in your hands and littering it with kisses. 

he laughs.

the wind pushes hair into your face, as you kneel down to sit on the blanket. you can't even see over the flowers around you. hiding the both of you away from the world, as you sit underneath a tree in the middle of a field of beautiful flowers. 

"how come this is still so..?"

"beautiful and untouched?" theo suggests, looking around. "it belongs to my family, otherwise i'm sure there would be a supermarket or something"

you smile. "why did you never bring me here before?"

he shrugs. "i brought you here now" 

you nod and laugh. "yeah, alright"

theo opens the basket, pushing a display of various different fruits in your direction. you smile at his dedication and take a few strawberries. 

"so?" he raises his brows and smiles at you. "i'm waiting"

the strawberries color your tongue red and leave a hint of sweetness on your lips. you smile conspiratorial. "i'm not telling you"

"well, you have to, those are the rules" 

"it's unfair" you argue playfully. "you're much faster than me and i didn't even know where we were going, so you would've won anyway"

he doesn't give in. "rules are rules, baby" he shrugs and you roll your eyes. he throws a blueberry at you, which bounces from your forehead and falls onto the blanket between you. you pick it up and plop it into your mouth, coloring your tongue purple.

"go on, love" he encourages when you're still not saying anything. 

"fine" you sigh. "i want it to be you"

"want me to be what?" he wonders, there's no hint of a joke in his voice, it's just a question. 

"i want you to be everything. my yesterday, my tomorrow. i want you to be forever, i want us to be forever" 

"we will" theo assures, kissing your temple softly, not able to hide the big goofy smile on his face. 

"you're so annoying" you giggle when he starts littering your face with kisses. 

"you don't think i'm annoying" he argues, while he starts tickling you. "you think i'm everything"

"damn right i do" you smile, as he holds in his movement "what about you?"

"me?" he repeats. "i don't have to tell you one, remember? last one there owes the other a secret. i was very clearly not last."

you roll your eyes, but accept his explanation. 

theo opens his mouth and you flick blueberries inside, coloring his tongue purple. there's a hint of sweetness on both of your mouths when you finish the strawberries and kiss his lips, tasting it. everything tastes better on his lips. even sadness. 

he holds you close to him, softly deepening the kiss and pushing his tongue into your mouth. your hands are moving in his hair and he draws patterns on the skin of your hips. 

you walk the way back. hand in hand, while you finish the rest of the blueberries. 

"they are my favourites" theo informs you.

"now you did tell me a secret" you say matter of factly. 

"that's not a secret" he insists. "but i think that depends how you define one. you seem to have a pretty low requirement"

"well, any new information you tell me is practically a secret, considering i know so much about you already" you shrug "and you had all these years to tell me" 

"you know me best" he smiles and you feel proudness bubble in your chest. "i would share secrets with you any day"

the field is just as beautiful in the winter, when you come visit it in thick clothes and blue lips. the wind has settled down and you get warm while running through the snow. 

this time you're ahead of him by a lot, which has to be on purpose. 

you reach the tree first, slapping a gloved hand against it. "ha!" you laugh, when he finally falls against the tree, next to your hand. 

"now, let's hear it, lover-boy" you raise a brow, waiting for him to catch his breath. you're almost a bit worried when it takes him longer than expected, but he speaks before you can question him about it.  

"i'm crazy about you" theo says, finally and you giggle. "and you make me feel special, no one can do that apart from you" 

you smile at him and hope that he can feel all the love and adoration you put into it. "i'm even crazier about you" you plaster a warm kiss onto his cold cheek. "and you are special, you don't need someone to make you feel like you are" 

"i'm gonna beat you the next time" he laughs, breathing in cold air and coughing it out again. 

whispered words and sunny days make the snow disappear. you sit in the tree, with theo underneath. both of you are quietly reading, only connected through the same words on either paper. 

"it's your turn" theo says as he turns his head upwards. 

you're not convinced. you didn't run here, so there's not really a winner. "unfair" you say in a sing-song and you can practically feel him roll his eyes.

"go on, love" theo says. "it was my turn the last time, remember?"

"okay, sure, mister always right" you give in, eager to return to your book as soon as possible. "you look hot today" you giggle as soon as the words have left your lips. theo looks up at you with big eyes of surprise and you laugh even louder. 

"that doesn't count" he protests. 

"not secret enough for you?" 

"it's not a secret, if anything it's just a fact" he jokes, but can't help and starts laughing at the pretended seriousness in his voice. 

"well, that's the only secret you're getting today, my love"

"whatever" 

the heat pools over both of your bodies, so you're again deciding not to run, when you come back in the summer.

still, you make a point of throwing your hand against the tree first, catching the short second of annoyance flashing over his face, as he did not think of doing that. 

"i'm ready, baby" you dance around him, as he puts down the picnic blanket, easily ignoring you. 

theo pats for you to join him and you sit down just as he throws his head into your lap. 

"today was a good day" he says and you nod, both of you deciding that it's secret enough.

"yes" you smile, as he closes his eyes tiredly. you kiss his forehead and push back his shortened hair, running your fingers through it as he easily slips into a soft sleep, both you and the sun caressing him. 

you don't come back in autumn or winter, not even in spring of the next year. it takes a whole year for you to return, when it is summer again and the heat almost burns off your skin. 

blades of grass whip against your legs. wind floods your hair and the sun kisses your skin. you're probably hardly as fast as him, but you still don't stop sprinting.

the wind moves the tree in front of you and also the flowers. it is soothing, considering the heat.

you reach the tree, slapping your hand against it, but not waiting for him to do the same, before you sink down in the grass. 

you keep silent, both of you just sitting, without anyone saying anything. 

you sigh, pushing a hand over the stone, trying to get rid of the dirt and leaves that fell from the tree. 

"fine" you finally say, laying down beside him and staring into the sky, that is almost invisible, because the tree is in the way. 

"but there's nothing new for me to tell you" you explain. "you can't be picky, you know? after all the time that passed before i came back" 

the silence is loud and harsh and you try to fill it, but end up helplessly sighing, before you find the words to continue. "i wish i could tell you something new" you mutter, a lump in your throat and a stone on your heart. a tear slips from your eye. your voice falls to a whisper. 

you don't have to speak louder than that for him to hear you. the field is quiet and so is the world around you now. 

"i still want it to be you" you can't help but cry "there's nothing i can do about it, my love" you shake your head "and i know that it's probably a shit secret, but i just want you to know the truth, my hurtful, heartbreaking, but honest truth" 

you push your hand against the stone once more, before standing up from your position next to him. 

you walk away from the tree, surrounded by a flower field. away from the most beautiful place on earth and away from theo. 

theo's tombstone rests under the tree for the rest of what you thought would be forever. the pages of the calender turning without him moving. you know it's the right place for him, because it is beautiful, no matter the season, just like theo was.

you'll come back for every season for the rest of your life, a hand on the locket with his photo and another filled with secrets. you'll have to tell a secret every time now, because theo stays under the tree and you will always be the last one there, no matter how fast you run. 

—the black dog

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the war awakes something in theo you hadn't thought was even there. you battle with your feelings of heartbreak, while you try to forget his everlasting presence in your life

warnings: mentions of death, grief, pain and torture. canon typical violence. this is very much heartbreak through and through

note: this isn't exactly what you asked for but your request inspired me to write this. i feel like it was important to highlight the complicated relationship that theo and reader resulted in because of the war.

theo and draco are cousins in this.

"would you please just talk to me?" you screamed. he had been acting weird for a few days now. 

at first you hadn't thought anything of it, not at the beginning. it had started with draco, who had been strange since the school year started, staying behind when the rest of you would go somewhere or disappearing in the middle of dinner. 

you had tried talking to him, you had grown closer over the time you and theo were together. you had quickly realized that it was hard for draco to build relationships, partly because he wasn't sure how and partly because he was scared of being left. 

you had done a pretty good job at showing him that you were going nowhere and that he, even if theo and you should break up one day, would still be your friend. 

you had thought that it had something to do with his parents. he didn't mention them often and you had only met them once, during a visit to the manor for a festivity during the winter break of the fifth year. you admitted that you didn't know them well, but it was easy enough for you to judge narcissa malfoy and the connection she had to her son. the love that kept her from ever risking something happening to him.

whatever was going on with him, his mother was well informed and probably already searching for a solution.

but draco had made it clear to you that he wanted to be left alone and you didn't push him to tell you more, just comforted him whenever he would let you or pansy. 

his weird behavior had been a constant throughout the entire year, until the point where it had influenced mattheo and enzo to act just as suspiciously and if you thought it couldn't get worse, you had been wrong. 

"i can't" theo muttered between clenched teeth, and you tried to look at his face as he frantically turned away from you. 

"is it about harry? is it about something he said to draco? did he say something to you?"

harry and the rest of your gryffindor friends were normally a topic you strictly avoided when in company of the slytherins and especially draco. you didn't agree on the childish rivalry they had going on and rather just kept out of that. but now that you thought about it, harry had been acting just as strange as draco had since the beginning of the year.

"potter doesn't matter, y/n" theo pressed his hands on both your shoulders, scaring you with the look on his face. 

"let me help you, love" you tried to not let it affect you, to not let the fear shine through your voice and honestly, you weren't scared of him, but of what would happen to the boy you loved so desperately it felt like breathing. 

"you can't" theo shook his head. "but you have to get ouf of the castle immediately, promise it to me"

"what? why should i--"

"you have to promise it" theo repeated louder, desperate and teary eyed as he stared at you like you had already died. 

the threatening war had made it harder to overlook the differences between you and the slytherins. you were a pureblooded witch, but definitely didn't share the same views about blood purity your friends did. 

"okay" you cooed, taking him into your arms. "i promise, i promise anything you want" 

theo didn't leave much room for questions when he told you to get off the hogwarts grounds and apparate home to your parents a few minutes later. you were scared and confused, as you watched the fear in his eyes flame up at whatever was coming. there was something he was not telling you and it simply broke your heart, knowing that he had to go through it alone. 

you weren't sure what took over you, when you heard a familar laugh, one that was so earth shattering and haunting, you couldn't help but dash back into the castle, despite what you had promised your boyfriend, his name repeating over and over again in your mind. 

you took two stairs at once, sprinting up the tower, wand in hand and ready to jump to theo's defense. 

"you made mummy so proud, boys" bellatrix said and you wanted to throw up at the tone in her voice. you could just imagine enzo and mattheo, or what was left of them, looking at their mother, not one bit of love or familiarity on their face. just fear. 

before you could climb the rest of the stairs, a hand grabbed you, pulling you to the side, behind old school supplies. the persons other hand was pressed onto your mouth and your eyes grew big until you noticed harry, stoic expression, not amused at seeing you. 

"harry" you muttered relieved. 

"what are you doing here?" harry whispered, not caring for the fear in your voice or the intent you had had coming up here in the first place. 

before you could answer, bellatrix spoke once again. 

"your boy has surely made you proud too, nott" she giggled. "just like our draco will make his parents in just a few minutes"

your eyes went up to the floor above you like your own name had been called. it wasn't even theo she had called by the name and still you could just imagine his slumped down shoulders and sickly expression. the same he had been spotting these past few days.

harry watched you closely, as if to make sure you would keep quiet, before his eyes turned back up too. 

“do it” bellaxtrix hissed at draco, who had raised his wand at dumbledore.

harry and you exchanged glances, before he too, raised his wand. you gripped on his arms tightly, shaking your head at him. 

“we can’t” you mouthed. 

“dumbledore” harry whispered. you shook your head again, tears spilling over your cheeks. 

your eyes left harry and wandered back through the floorboards. you couldn’t see theo, enzo, and mattheo, but draco was clearly shaking in fear and you couldn’t help but be worried about him. 

“draco” bellaxtrix encouraged once more “do it!”

“he’s not brave enough, bellatrix” notts voice rang out sounding as triumphantly as possible. you heard movement on the floor, a pair of dark shoes stepping forward and you wondered what nott was planning to do, when your heart suddenly stopped beating. 

“avada kedavra” a voice muttered, wand raised and aimed at dumbledore, who fell backwards so slowly as if time had stopped.  

harry gripped your arm, your body still frozen, as your eyes stayed focused on notts shoes. theodore notts shoes. not his father. theo, your theo. 

theo had just killed dumbledore. 

one part of you wanted to scream, jump into the open and scream at him or bellatrix or all the people a few steps above you, but the other part, the unstoppable dread, was aching to hide away from all of it, to just go and never come back.

how could you ever look at him again after what you had just witnessed? would he still be the same after he had done something like this? you couldn’t. he wouldn’t. your heart ripped open. 

“y/n” harry whispered, pushing you back to hide the both of you behind some old astronomy maps. footsteps descended down the stairs and out of the tower and you felt like you could breathe again once he had left. 

you sank to your knees immediately. harry still watched the space around you, not sure if you were entirely safe yet. 

someone ran up the stairs. harry tried grabbing you to push you back behind the old things, to shield you from whoever was coming back and trying to finish the job. 

it was snape and harry felt relieved for the first time upon seeing the teacher. he didn’t fully trust him, but dumbledore did. also, snape was a far better option than any of the death eaters. 

snapes eyes jumped between harry and you on the ground, before they turned to look up the stairs. 

“they’re gone” harry said, voice raised to drown out your sobbing, before he bent down once more and helped you back onto your feet. he pulled you close, to bring you comfort and shield your tear spilled face from snape's penetrating gaze.

harry wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he could almost see a bit of pity in snape’s eyes, when the man watched you stand on your shivering legs, only held up by harry, as if your body was too heavy to stand on it’s own.

it was just suddenly that the meaning of snape's presence painted a clear picture in your mind. narcissa malfoy hadn't found a solution, no she had found something that was even better: a substitute, someone to step in, when draco would ultimately fail upon the task he had been given.

and tiberius nott had done the same, only that he had proudly sold out his son instead of sparing his life.

you threw off harry’s arms, walking across the room, step by step, until you were standing in front of the teacher, ready to bash his head in.

“you are too late” you cried, not caring if spit or tears or anything else fell onto his robes. you stabbed a finger to his chest. “it’s your job to help. why didn’t you help him?” you cried.

snape furrowed his brows in confusion. “draco?” he asked in his normal tone, but a little bit of surprise broke through. just like you had thought. not even snape had held draco for capable of fulfilling his task.

you shook your head. slowly, bitterly. It was unfair that you had to say his name, that you had to recapture the event like a missed quidditch game, that snape had been late enough to miss it, but perfectly on time to watch your life fall apart.

you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. couldn’t even mutter the name that had been the most beautiful thing to you these past years, there was nothing left. no meaning behind those letters and still you couldn’t do it. “nott” you said. 

it was over. 

“nott?” snape repeated, as if he was daring you to finally say what you had been dreading. 

“junior” harry muttered. you turned your head at him and he looked down on his shoes, as if he was ashamed you had heard him. 

“surprisingly unexpected” snape noted, like you had been discussing the weather.

“what?” you muttered, your voice strained. 

“y/n” harry said softly and you could hear him coming closer. you broke apart from snape, slapping his hand away when he tried reaching for your arm in an unusual caring manner. 

“you failed him” you spit at him, before you stormed out of the tower, harry hot on your heels.

bellaxtrix and the rest of the deatheaters, were jumping down the grass path to hagrids hut. following behind them were draco, enzo, mattheo and finally theo, who stepped out of the castle as last.

they had probably strolled through the halls, bringing their inevitable destruction into the home you had grown to love and cherish.

harry and you had watched them from the side of the entryway, dried tears on your cheeks and the anger taking over the pain that had tightened your chest. you loved him, but you couldn't believe that he had had no choice.

killing someone was not debatable.

you had watched in susprise when theo had not been there with them, but your surprise had been quickly taken over by even more anger, when he finally strolled through the door, hands in his pockets, like he was talking a late evening stroll.

your hand wept forward without so much as a thought, gripping the material of his tie and yanking him back.

theo made a gurgling sound, briefly breathless, and it was only his surprise that allowed you to measure up enough strength to effectively pull him back. that and your anger.

harry helped you as he pushed theo against the wall, wand at his throat.

theo took a big breath as soon as you let go of his tie, his eyes widened in surprise as he completely ignored harry and only looked at you, your face cast with shadows of the darkness in the creeping night and the regret that was so evident it only pained him further.

"didn't i tell you to go home?" it didn't surprise you that there was still a hint of superiority in his voice, even if it had faltered tremendously.

"you knew about all of it, didn't you?" you asked instead.

"y/n" theo sighed, in a tone as if he was inspecting a failed task for a homework you hadn't been able to finish. "i can explain"

"i don't think you should" you muttered and you were doing your best to not let the look of helplessness that now entered his face break your heart any further. "i just think i speak for the both of us, when i say that it's over"

"y/n" theo pleaded, pushing against harry's hold to try and reach for you. you stepped back and harry pushed the tip of his wand deeper into theo's neck.

you shook your head, not having it in you to look at him, before you turned around. "do what you have to do" you left the two of them alone, knowing that harry was just waiting to punish theo for killing one of the most important people to him.

you couldn't muster up the courage to even care about what would happen to him. your anger at snape had evaporated as fast as it had come. theo had it in him to kill and snape's late arrival changed nothing about that.

the person you had loved died together with the headmaster.

everything had been lost the moment he had muttered the curse, leaving behind a hurricane of feelings in your heart, but no one left to love in this world.

you did not waste another thought for him, pushing his name so far away from your mind, you almost forgot about him completely.

but a three-year relationship wasn't just consisting of memories, but of habits too and you found yourself thinking about possibilities in the dead of night.

possibilities that you had thought to be endless before, but of which was only one left now.

what if theo hadn't killed dumbledore?

your friends were clearly worried about you. hermione and ginny never left you alone during your stay in the burrow or during the nights, which had to have been the most haunting. the time were you most experienced his loss, as nightmares were plaguing your mind and fear was taking over your senses, feeling like you had made a mistake with theo. even if your friends and the weasleys said something different.

it was the same restlessness that lead to you following hermione, ron and harry on an adventure that was trying to fulfill an impossible task.

but there was no hope left if you didn't at least try what had been asked of you and you were smart enough to realize that.

even though you were always together, the time you were on the road seemed to be the most lonely you had ever felt and you found yourself thinking more about theo than you had wanted to.

none of your friends dared to say anything to you the next morning, when you would call out his name in your dream, always asking yourself what had happened, and if he was even still alive.

your question was answered in a different way than you had liked, when your group was discovered by deatheaters and brought back to malfoy manor, where not only draco and the malfoys, but theo was staying too.

you hadn't seen him at first, down in the dungeon. but surely they had come to get hermione, bringing her back a few hours later, scarred and crying for mercy as she fell into ron's arms.

it took another hour to call for the other female friend of harry potter.

"the other?" you could draco's voice ask when you were dragged up the stairs and through the halls.

"what other?" it was theo's voice that was now speaking, fear and dread overweighing the curiosity.

the door flew open and five people turned around to gain a look at you.

narcissa and lucius malfoy were sitting in obnoxious chairs, spotting similiar looks of surprise and interest.

bellatrix was hanging over the back of narcissa's chair. her hands pressing down on her younger sister's shoulders, squeezing them as if she was excited.

narcissa suddenly seemed less content, as she heard the similar gasps coming from her sons and nephew's mouths.

draco and theo were staring at you wide-eyed. their faces pale and painfully twisted as they recalled what had happened with harry potter's other friend just hours before.

"oh" bellatrix quirked up when the unknown death eater threw you to the floor and theo and draco dashed forward at the same time to try and catch you, before they were held back by the black haired witch. "do you happen to know her?"

your eyes were fixated on the doors behind you, which fell close with a loud thud as the deatheater who had brought you disappeared.

"no" draco and theo mustered up to stutter at the same time.

you send a glare across the room. it meant nothing, those two were only shells of the boys you had once known. but the innocence had been drained from them like a well run dry in a relentless drought.

"what are we going to do with you?" bellatrix smiled, stepping away from the chair and walking around your body on the floor.

narcissa reached for theo's arm, when he was about to drag bellatrix away from you.

you averted your eyes. not giving her the satisfaction to see the fear in them.

bellatrix looked through your act immediately. "she's a tough one" she noted and her expression of admiration changed to a malicious grin as she saw theo close his eyes.

"you do it" she laughed excitedly, stepping forward and pulling theo into the middle of the room.

"bellatrix, please" narcissa said, not even bothering to stand up and stop her sister from her attempt.

"what, cissy?" bellatrix asked. "you don't think she should be punished for stealing?"

"stealing what?" your voice made bellatrix turn around dramatically.

"would you look at that!" she gushed "the girl can speak!"

"yes" you nodded "and the girl can even tell you that she stole nothing"

"lie" bellatrix giggled and you had to admire her persistence, while the playful tone in her voice kept you on edge, always waiting for the moment she would break into an insanely loud scream.

you had heard not only hermione's cries, but bellatrix' screams from the dungeon. that gave a measure to how loud she was able to scream. and how she could torture until there was nothing left of the person you had once been.

"atta boy!" bellatrix encouraged theo, as she pushed him closer, until he was standing just a few feet from your body.

you wouldn't beg for their mercy. you would die without feigning any regret. if bellatrix really thought you stole something from her, you were glad she was torturing you instead of harry, who was much more important for everything coming after.

you could afford to die so early into the war. you were of no importance for the safety of the wizarding world.

you looked up at theo. the blue of his eyes mixed together with the tears that were already spilling over the edges.

"it shouldn't be hard" you said, voice hoarse and strained. you had been apart for almost ten months and he was still creating a lump in your throat, he was standing for everything that had been lost.

theo exchanged a glance with draco, almost as if begging him to take his place.

"bellatrix, this is madness" narcissa said, a bit stricter now, as if her simple words could really change the mind of someone who had already decided to embrace the madness her sould had been corrupted by.

"oh, cissy" bellatrix giggled "how will he learn? just another step on the path he must take to be granted the honour of the dark lord"

"do it" you said to theo, ignoring what bellatrix was babbling about.

"i can't—“ theo looked back at narcissa, talking to her rather than you.

"do it!" you repeated, louder this time.

"she even wants him to" bellatrix noted, clear amusement in her voice. she was almost excited to find out more about the conflict between you and her nephew.

"she's a pureblooded witch" theo turned to bellatrix, now trying to convince her himself. "she's one of us"

"i'm not" you protested, but bellatrix ignored you, stepping forward and touching theo's cheek softly with the pocket knife that she had taken from her robes, dripping in blood. hermione's blood probably.

"i thought you didn't know her" bellatrix mused "but the knowledge about her blood status suggests otherwise" theo gulped and before he was ready to say something, bellatrix has dragged the weapon across his cheek with one quick gesture, leaving a bleeding cut.

theo looked down quickly, as if to hide his injury from you, but he hadn't missed the gasp of air you had taken, scared that the woman had planned to kill him.

bellatrix stepped back next to her sister. "go on boy, don't make auntie bella angry" she threatened, playing with the knife in her hand.

not even narcissa dared to say something.

"just kill me" you told theo, when he raised his eyes to look at you once more, wand still losely hanging to the side. "you know how to"

"y/n" theo muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

"it doesn't matter" you shook your head. "just do it" you closed your eyes, ready for the stream of the green curse to take over your body and future.

theo did not raise his wand.

"kill me" you said loudly, unforgiving, almost screaming. you opened your eyes to look at your tormentors. apart from bellatrix none of them looked like they were particularly enjoying what was happening.

bellatrix’s eyes gleamed with a twisted satisfaction as if she was savoring the power she held over theo. narcissa’s face was a portrait of conflicted emotions, torn between her loyalty to her sister and her love for her son and nephew. lucius’s gaze darted nervously between the scene unfolding before him, as if hoping for some resolution to the madness. draco was crying and trying to swallow the breaths that were tempting him to throw up right on his aunt's feet.

and theo? theo was rather keen on killing himself than doing you any harm.

you were less forgiving. "kill me like you killed dumbledore!" you screamed, tears falling on the floor in front of you, as your voice echoed off the cold stone walls. the anger in your voice was raw, pure, and unfiltered. theo flinched at the words, his face paling further, if that was even possible. the weight of your demand seemed to crush him, making it even harder for him to act.

you were so indescribably angry. but not at what he had done to you, but rather what he had done to himself. and that in it alone was the reason you would never forgive him.

he had ruined what you had loved. he had killed the person you had loved the most and you had nothing left to care about what would happen to you.

maybe it was his punishment that he had to be the one to kill or torture you.

theo’s grip on his wand faltered as he looked at you with a mixture of horror and heartbreak. he seemed to be struggling not just with what he was being asked to do, but with the shattered remnants of the person he used to be.

bellatrix’s patience wore thin, her frustration evident as she waved her wand dismissively. “enough of this pathetic display,” she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. “the boy is clearly too weak for this task.”

“no!” theo shouted, his voice cracking. “i can’t— i won’t—” his wand dropped to the floor, clattering against the stone with a finality that seemed to reverberate through the room.

the room erupted into chaos as bellatrix’s fury reached its peak. she turned on theo with a rage that was almost as palpable as your own pain. narcissa tried to intervene, her voice pleading, but it was clear that the darkness had already taken hold.

but before she was able to mutter a curse, to torture or kill theo right in front of your eyes, harry, ron and hermione came running in the room, wands raised they started firing spells.

it took you a moment longer to get up. you and theo held eye contact, the boy just a crumpled mess on the floor in front of you. you reached out your hand and took his wand, disarming bellatrix, who began screaming.

the fight was short and unforgiving as the malfoys were throwing spells. draco was struggling to keep up with harry's quick movements and theo did not even make an attempt to stand up. instead he kept his eyes trained on you.

dobby appeared suddenly, calling you to him to bring you to safety, after he had let a chandelier fall onto bellatrix who had held a knife to hermione's throat.

you stepped forward once more, kneeling in front of theo, who looked up at you with curiosity, just hoping you would be taking him with you.

"i will never forgive you" you muttered instead and all hope left his face and heart. you healed the cut on his cheek with a move of his own wand. "you should've killed me and maybe i could've been able to"

you did not look back again as you ran across the room to your friends. you just left him there, on the ground in malfoy manor, as you took dobby's hand and followed your friends into the uncertain.

one heart shattering realisation left with you that day.

theo's gaze would haunt your nightmares. but the possibility of his death would haunt your dreams, as you could only forgive him if he didn't survive.

How Each Slytherin Boy Will React To A Nightmare/ Your Nightmare

WARNINGS: SWEARING, MAKEOUTS, IMPLIED SMUT, TRAUMA

NOTE: THIS IS A FEMININE READER AND KINDA 18+

Mattheo Riddle:

“I-I can’t stay with you anymore Mattheo. I can’t.”

Mattheo gasps as he awakes from the dream. You’re sitting awake, reading one of Mattheo’s most loved(recently hated books)- Romeo and Juliet.

“Are you okay Theo?” You ask, your angelic voice sounding in his ears. “You wont leave me… will you baby?” He asks timidly. “Of course not baby! What would make you think that?” You ask. Realization hits you like a truck. “You had a bad dream, haven’t you?” You ask. You trace the scar on the side of his head. He nods and leans into your touch. “Whatever it was, it isn’t true.” He pulls you to his chest and kisses you. “I can’t lose you.” He whispers, resting his forehead against yours. He can’t lose you he just can’t. After the trauma he’s been through, the experiences with his father, and everything being taken away from him, you’re his light in the darkness. You’re his. But the feeling that he feels in his dreams is that he will lose you forever. You kiss his nose and massage his hair. “You won’t. I’m not going anywhere baby. I’m staying right here with you love.” He kisses you again and you run your hands down his chest lightly. “Now let’s get you some sleep.” You say. Mattheo smiles and kisses you one more time. God he just loves you so fucking much. “I love you so fucking much y/n.” He says, slowly running his hands down your thighs.

“Mattheo-” You whisper. “Come on baby. Just one?” He pleads. You look down into his puppy dog eyes and sigh. “Well- I guess it won’t hurt-” Mattheo pushes you down on the bed and starts kissing you passionately, all remaining images of the nightmare leaving his head, his only attention was to love you.

Tom Riddle:

“You’re a hopeless person, I don’t want to love a hopeless person.”

You wake up instantly and feel Tom’s arms pulling you up, and placing you on his lap. His eyes are filled with concern as he looks you over, making sure you aren’t injured. “My darling, are you alright?” Tears brim at your waterline and you move away from him but he pulls you back in. “My love.” He says, prompting you to say something, say something so that he would stop worrying so much. You start sobbing. Not the cute sobs, the heavy, snot dripping, heaving sobs. You hurt your face in Tom’s shoulder and just keep sobbing like a baby. Tom stiffens, not used to seeing you crying so… dramatically. Then he puts his arms around you and shushes you gently, rubbing your back and kissing your hair.

Once you stopped sobbing, he cups your cheek and stares into your eyes, looking through your mind for a clue of what has upset you. Finally he finds the sentence that sent you into hysterics, and he scoffs. “What?” You say. “My sweet Y/n. You’re not hopeless. And I don’t know where this stupid idea of you being hopeless has come from.”

He kisses you and pulls away. “And you know very well, I don’t associates with dumb, incapable idiots. You, sweetness, are not a dumb, incapable idiot.” You giggle slightly and he kisses your forehead. “I love you Tom.” You say. “I love you too.” Tom looks at you again with a mischievous grin. “Now since you have waken me up, how about we have a little bit of fun, hmm?”

Draco Malfoy:

“Pure blood or not, I don’t want you. I can’t stand to see you, the thought of you makes me sick.”

“Must you give me scares every night?” He says, walking over and kneeling in front of you. “I don’t mean to Dray. I expect you would stay asleep whenever I leave.” You say softly. You notice the tense look on your face and cup his face. He sighs as he feels the cold silver of your wedding ring travel over his face.

“Did you have a nightmare?” You ask softly. He nods and snuggles into your chest, keeping you close to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask. “No.” He says. You nod again and keep brushing his platinum blonde hair away from his face. He leans up and kisses you, and you put your hands on the sides of his face. “If you stay with me and don’t wander off, love, I’ll feel better.” Draco says. You nod and kiss him again as he carries you both back to your shared bedroom to sleep soundly again, so Draco wouldn’t have to worry deep down that his nightmares will come true, and he’ll never be able to hold you close to him.

Lorenzo Berkshire :

“I don’t want YOU y/n. I want her. She’s the girl I’ve been wanting, not you. You’re nothing compared to her.”

Tears spring to your eyes for the millionth time tonight as you stare at the ocean waves. The night terror you had wasn’t true. Enzo loves you more than his own life. You both were married fourteen hours ago. You’re on your honeymoon with the love of your life. And yet the insecurity and fear of him leaving you had come up on the happiest day of your life. You saw the jealous looks on many girls faces as you were pronounced husband and wife. You saw the girls flirting with Enzo as he talked to the guest(who you promptly told to fuck off) You saw the girls envying your beautiful (but hella expensive) dress. Enzo saw them too, and kissed you every time he saw the insecurity flooding your eyes, whispering sweet nothings.

“Why are you outside and not in bed with me love?” Enzo says sleepily as he gets out of bed. You turn around and smile lightly. “No reason.” Enzo approaches you and looks down and frowns. He catches a tear falling from your eye and looks at you. “Why are you crying love?” “I had a nightmare.” He sighs sympathetically. “What was it about?” Another wave of tears flood down your face. “You said you didn’t w-want m-me.” You say. Enzo wipes the tears again and pulls you inside the room. “Love, why didn’t you wake me?” He sighs. “I didn’t want to seem like a bother.” He holds your chin and stares you in the eyes.

“Listen to me. You are my wife, the love of my life, the only person I’ll listen to, the only person that’s put my heart back together and kept it, and hasn’t broken it. You are NEVER a bother, do you understand? No girl in this damn world could ever love me like you do. No girl compares. I don’t want another girl, and you’re the only girl that catches my eye. You are mine, and I am yours. You are mine, and I’m never letting you go. Do you understand darling?”

You nod. “I need a spoken answer love.” He says. “I understand.” He sighs and looks at you. “Do you know how much I love you Y/n? Can you comprehend how much?” You shrug. “I don’t know Enzo… you’ll have to show me.” A smirk appears on your face and Enzo chuckles. “Oh you cheeky little minx.” He growls, and kisses you passionately, running his hands up your silk nightgown.

Theodore Nott

“I-I don’t love you Theo. Anymore!”

Theo winces again as he hears your angelic voice in his head, the things that shook him awake. He had left you in bed, placing a kiss on your cheek before leaving out of the house and into the garden, grabbing a pack of cigarettes on the way out.

He lets out one puff and takes it out of his mouth sighing. He could still see your tear stained face as you left him. He had called out to you, more like screamed after you but you had already run away. He sighs again and puts the cigarette back in his mouth, closing his eyes.

“Why did you leave me Teddy?” Theo hears. His fiancée’s voice was filled with sleep and concern for him. He’s never left her in bed alone, never. He was always in their bedroom even if he had a nightmare. Bad nightmares he would sit up and cuddle her tightly, his personal dream catcher. But he’s never left her.

“Why are you up princess? It’s late.” He mutters. “I’m up because my fiancé left me in bed, by myself, causing me to worry, when it’s obvious he’s had a nightmare, and he won’t admit it to me because of how stubborn he is.” You snap. “Theo you promised me that you would be open with me. You promised. And you never break your promises.” You say. He stays silent. “If you don't want to tell me that’s fine. But just- don’t leave me like that again.” You say. You walk off and get pulled back in. Theo wraps his arms around your waist and rests his forehead against yours. Then, in the most heartbroken voice, he whispers a sentence that just breaks your heart.

“Don’t leave me princess. Don’t leave me.” You feel his emotions strongly as he whispers this you. “I’m not leaving you Teddy. Never.”

A/N: Okay this was kinda cringe and sucky but I hope you liked it!