Lizzysthousandfollowerspecial - Tumblr Posts

order number 31 theodore nott❗️❗️

this one is gonna HIT

—forever winter

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo pulls away from you and you’re worried about his well being

warnings: this is fic includes topic of depression, under age drinking, allusions to suicide (never actually mentioned though)

please don’t take this lighthearted, be sure not to read if this might trigger you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are in a similar position!! (1-800-273-8255)

my love, @mqstermindswift

the book in his hand looked like it was trembling. you looked up from your potions homework, grabbing the edge of it to make it stop shaking. theo looked up and you send him a questioning look.

he shrugged his shoulders, before he put the book down, laying it on the table in front of him.

"are you alright, love?" you asked after he had gone back to reading, totally ignoring the worry on your face.

"i'm good" he mumbled and you contemplated to press further, but quickly disregarded that thought.

you knew theo, he liked his peace. he would tell you if something was wrong, sometimes he just needed to dwell about it for a bit longer.

you spend a few more minutes in silence, before you read a question you didn't quite understand. theo was good in potions, surely he would be able to help.

"you already finished this, right?" you asked, your voice breaking theo out of his stare on the book "could you help me with this question? it says: 'outline the risks associated with draught of living death. how can wizards prevent accidents?'"

"sorry" theo mumbled, closing his book with a thud, before he dragged back his chair, standing up from your shared table in the library.

"theo?" you asked, wondering what he was doing.

"excuse me" he was already walking away from you.

you were close behind him, your things discarded on the table that theo and you had been sitting at since lunch.

"theo" you called again, your voice louder this time "theodore!"

"shhh" madam pince poked her head around the corner, sending you a warning glance "this is still a library, miss l/n"

"but—“ you tried to argue, raising a hand and pointing it helplessy in theo's direction, who had turned around at madam pince's warning tone.

"silence" madam pince warned again, before she disappeared behind the shelves.

theo sent you a look, a silent sigh escaping his lips, before he continued to leave.

maybe he was finished, maybe he didn't want to discuss this anymore, but you weren't. you followed him.

"why won't you just tell me what's wrong?" you asked, speedwalking beside him. holding pace with him was harder than expected. he had longer legs than you and would normally just walk slower when you were holding hands or walking together. now it was clear that he wasn't inclined on you catching up to him.

theo kept quiet, continuing his way. you could see in his face that he was fighting with himself.

you kept following him. through the halls of the castle, through the gardens, up the steps of the astronomy tower. you didn't say anything as you just sat there, feet dangling over the railing.

"i don't know what's wrong, really" theo said his first words since his sudden leave from the library.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" you asked, your voice just above a soft whisper "i love you and would never judge you, i hope you know that"

theo nodded, his eyes moving back to the sight in front of you. the hogwarts grounds were covered in white and fluffy snow.

the cold hadn’t registered on your skin, even if you could feel the occasional breeze flowing through your hair, moving it around your face.

"why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"

you turned your head in surprise. you saw the conflict on his face and decided that it was better to keep quiet. you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder and interlocking your fingers.

theo seemed fine the rest of the week. he was a lot less quiet than the days before, engaging in conversations with you and your friends, laughing at enzo's antics or reading to you in the library quietly, when you were finished going over the homework together.

"i'm sorry for waking you" mattheo looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in hours. your eyes fell on the clock on the nighstand beside the door, 3 am. "i think theo needs you"

you couldn't even be angry, you were alarmed right that second, already half out of the room, before mattheo's voice reached your ears again.

"would it be alright if i stayed?" he pleaded "i really need to sleep"

you nodded "of course, i'm sure pansy won't mind"

you took two stairs at once, running up to theo's room. he was pacing when you entered, mumbling something to himself and you understood why mattheo hadn't been able to sleep.

"theo" you said softly, tugging on his sleeve. "what's wrong?"

he stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on you. instead, he started to cry.

"hey" you mumbled comfortingly, hugging him. "it's alright" you sat down on the bed together, his head in your lap, while you were trying to calm him down, gentle hands moving through his hair.

"it's not just a phase i'm in" his voice broke out after his crying had stopped a few minutes before.

"okay" you answered. you didn't let go of him for the rest of the night, making sure that he was falling asleep. you lay awake, wondering what was going on with him and what you could do to help. you felt helpless, seeing someone you loved so hopelessly sad and confused.

the next day, theo acted like nothing was wrong. joking about the night before, making it out to be some kind of misconsumption.

"i'm really worried" you argued, shaking your head.

"how many times do i have to tell you, you don't have to be?" theo replied, annoyance dropping from his tongue. "it's fine"

"no, it's not fine, theo" you furrowed your eyebrows, reaching for his hand. "don't shut me out, you're not alone"

despite theo's protests, you did your best to stay close to him at any given moment. it was only one evening the next week that he got you to leave him alone. he had been planning to go out with the guys and you weren't wanted there.

"send a patronus when anything happens, you hear me?" you instructed mattheo an hour before they were supposed to leave "i don't care if theo just hits his head, you tell me, alright?"

"geez, woman" mattheo exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "don't you think you're being a wee bit controlling?"

"oh, so you would like me to tag along, then?" you suggested "telling every girl how big of an idiot you are?"

"oh god, please no"

"then do what i asked you to"

"yeah, yeah"

it seemed that mattheo wasn't scared enough of you, because he had the guts to come and get you at 5 a.m. in the morning after he had watched theo getting piss drunk.

"for what are you good, really?" you said angrily as you followed him to the room. "i ask one thing of you, one thing!"

"it was guys night, y/n" mattheo tried to defend himself "i didn't want theo to limit his fun, because his girlfriend is jealous"

"jealous?" you almost screeched "mattheo riddle, you're going to see how jealous i am, when i rip your throat out"

mattheo raised his hands, stepping back.

"you can wait downstairs" you told him when you reached the door to theo's and mattheo's shared room.

"what?" mattheo's eyes widened "it's 5 a.m. and i'm in my pyjamas"

"i don't care" you smiled sarcastically as you watched him turn around and walk down the stairs, shoulders slumped and not another word of protest leaving his mouth.

the tears spluttered over your cheeks the second you opened the door and saw theo sitting on his bed. he looked so sad, so fragile, as if he'd fall apart with one wrong move.

you sank down on the ground in front of him. "theo, tell me what's going on, please" a sob left your mouth. "let me help you"

theo didn't react to your words, he wasn't even listening.

"i can't remember the last time you were this drunk" you mumbled, trying to lighten the mood, but failing as another few tears dropped from you face and onto the floor.

still no reaction.

your sadness turned into anger quickly. how could he just constantly ignore your worry, telling you he was fine and then do something that would suggest the opposite?

"speak to me!" you said loudly. theo moved, blinking as he recognized the room around him. he looked down at you in confusion. "just say something!"

"y/n, i don't" the tears welled in his eyes "what are you—"

"stop doing this" you screamed "tell me what's wrong"

he sobbed, raising his hands to cover his face and your eyes softened, feeling bad about the way you had just screamed at him, as he broke down in front of you.

"i didn't know" you cried, your voice breaking. you crawled onto the bed beside him and embraced his body like you were scared he was going to evaporate into thin air.

you cried together, your sobs filling the room with sound.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry" theo sobbed.

"shhh" you muttered into his hair, kissing the top of his head. "there's no reason"

you had never seen him like that, so truly broken and it made you feel awful that you had tried to push for him to tell you what was wrong.

"i love you" you said, over and over again, until the words didn't sound like words anymore and then a few more times, making sure that he knew. he had to know, right?

theo didn't say anything, but he tightened his grip on you, pulling you closer by your arm. you didn't let go of him. you held him for seconds, minutes, hours and you would hold him for the rest of his life if that could fix him.

"i think something is wrong" theo's voice was raspy after all the crying.

"yeah" you nodded.

"i think there's been something wrong for a long time" he admitted and his eyes looked so painful as he turned to look at you and your heart broke all over again.

"i'm sorry" you softly took his face in your hands, removing the remains of tears with your thumbs. "i shouldn't have been angry with you, i shouldn't have acted like you were doing it on purpose"

"please, don't be sorry" theo touched your lip and you had to smile, it was his own way of telling you that he loved you without words. "i think it might be because of my mum and everything—" he paused, searching for words "at home"

"i'm here for anything" you assured "we can talk or we can just sit and be silent for hours and we will find someone who can help you"

"thank you"

"there's nothing to thank me for" you shook your head. "just promise me you'll talk to someone"

"i will" theo nodded.

"good" you smiled softly, kissing his forehead "i was just so scared that something would happen to you"

"i know" theo nodded, shame lingering in his eyes "i had a hard time believing anything i was hearing lately, like everyone was just lying to me"

"you can believe in one thing, i won't go away"

theo softly smiled at your words, holding you tightly to his chest. "i won't go away, either" he promised and that promise worked like a spell of assurance for your heart that had been so heavy these past weeks.

—hits different

pairing: isaac lahey x fem!reader

summary: isaac and you both like each other, it just takes some time for you to realize that the other does as well..

warnings: underage drinking

notes: this should've been posted yesterday.. i'm so sorry

"have any of you seen y/n?" isaacs voice beamed off the walls of the large room and both derek and scott turned their heads so sudden, he wondered if he had just interrupted something.

"y/n?" scott wondered "haven't seen her since school"

"well, obviously she's not here" derek exclaimed with a roll of his eyes and isaac sighed.

"i know" he stretched "i just wondered if any of you knew where exactly she is" he widened his eyes to make a point, which was answered with another eye roll from derek and a shrug from scott. "well, thank you for all the help. i'll go find her myself then"

"she might be hanging out with stiles" scott said as isaac was already walking out of the door.

despite scott being not sure, isaac decided that it did not hurt to drive to stiles' house and have a look for himself. he often found you in the company of the boy, which sometimes made him wonder if there was going more than friendship between the both of you.

he stopped the car before stiles house and got out, walking up the front porch and knocking on the door.

"hey" stiles exclaimed when he swung open the door.

"hey" isaac greeted "i'm looking for y/n" he explained, before he tried to take a look inside "is she here?"

stile shook his head "no, she mentioned something about a club, and some other friend that was going with her"

"huh" isaac nodded, with a tight-lipped smile. "thats kind of weird of her, isn't it?"

stiles just shrugged his shoulders and isaac nodded finally.

"okay, ehm, thanks man"

"sure" stiles nodded with a tightlipped smile, at the lack of movement from isaac, he raised his brows "is there still something i can help you with?"

"uh, yeah" isaac smiled uncomfortably "what's the name of the club?"

"the sinema, i guess" stiles replied shrugging "it's the only club around here"

"yeah, right" isaac raised his arm, lazily waving goodbye, before he walked back to his car.

"is there one story that does not involve isaac lahey?" your friend, amy, loudly asked your, trying to be heard over the music.

"sorry" you replied "we're just very close"

"yeah, yeah" amy nodded her head, having heard enough of the boy in the last hour "that's exactly why you're gonna get drunk out of your mind and forget all about him"

"i'm not sure that's how it works" you noted.

"well it does in my books" amy furrowed her brows, holding the tequila shot in your direction.

you took the glass, admitting that you couldn't think of a better solution yourself, so it couldn't hurt to try hers. anything to get your mind of the blonde boy was greatly appreciated.

the night passed by quickly, you were a drunken mess, slurring about everything and anything.

"you know what i find weird?" you asked amy, both of you laying in the sitting booth of the club.

"no, what?" amy replied, a giggle breaking out between her lips. you joined into her laughter, unable to contain yourself, before you quickly shook your head, focusing back on the matter you were trying to discuss.

"well, scott said that isaac doesn't fancy kylie" you began, rolling your eyes at the name of the girl. at the same time you felt kind of bad, she hadn't done anything to you and yet here you were, saying her name like she had ran over your dog. "but if that's true, why is he always sending her these fuck me eyes?"

"fuck me eyes?" amy repeated, giggling once again "i'm not sure that's a thing, honey"

"i'm sure it is, i've seen it first-hand from stiles to lydia"

amy laughed even louder amidst the fact that you had spied on other people to prove your point.

"i think that's just stiles personally" she shrugged.

the thing about being drunk was that there was no way to direct any feelings, when you were drunk, your mood shifted like you were sitting on a roller coaster.

"can you please take this seriously?" you asked, your tone etched in annoyance and frustration.

"but you're being ridiculous" amy shook her head and you sat up, crossing your arms.

"i'm not trying to be" you muttered, the first tears escaping your eyes.

"y/n, sweetheart" amy cooed, sitting up as well and dropping an arm around your shoulder. "don't cry about him again please" you felt bad that it was your fault that the mood had shifted so drastically. both of you had so much fun all night and now you had gone and spoiled the mood.

"sorry" you cried. "i just miss isaac so much and i wish that he would miss me too whenever we're not together"

unbeknownst to you, isaac did miss you just as much as you were missing him.

"excuse me?" the bouncer turned around, raising his brows at the boy that was absolutely not dressed like he was going clubbing.

"what?" the man asked, watching the blonde boy expectingly.

"i was searching for my friend" isaac explained "she's about this tall" he held a hand up, before he continued to describe the color and length of your hair, what you were probably wearing and how your voice sounded "she's really pretty, really nice, most of the time at least" he ended his description.

the bouncer, who was ready to turn the boy away with an annoyed 'do you think i know everyone inside?', paused, when he noticed two girls stumbling out of the entrance. "that her?" he asked, pointing a finger in their direction.

"wow" isaac muttered impressed, before he nodded "yeah, thanks man" he patted the bouncer's shoulder, before he walked up to amy and you.

"isaac" you slurred as you recognized the boy behind amy.

"yeah, yeah" amy nodded "we already discussed him, honey"

"no" you shook your head, pointing again "isaac!"

amy almost sighed in relief when she noticed the boy approaching. even though she had the same amount of tequila shots as you, she had calmed down a bit and was way less drunk than you. she could handle alcohol much better than you anyway.

"hey" isaac smiled with a lopsided grin.

"isaac!" you slurred once again and the blonde boy laughed at your excitement.

"do you think you could take her home?" amy asked "my boyfriend just came and we want to stay a bit longer. i'd invite the both of you along, but i think y/n's had enough"

"of course" isaac nodded "no problem"

"thank you" amy smiled gratefully, before she hugged you goodbye and pointed her boyfriend out to isaac, so he was sure she was not alone waiting for him.

"bye!" you slurred in her direction as she took off.

isaac watched you in silent amusement. "let's go home, yeah?" he smiled and you nodded, your eyes already halfway closed.

he helped you to the car, all while you put on a tremendous rendition of taylor swifts 'love story'. you missed half the lyrics and weren't singing the right notes, but isaac didn't mind.

"pretty good" he complimented laughing once your singing had been finished.

"thank you, isaac" you smiled at him, dragging out his name. "your name is so beautiful" you smiled before you repeated pronouncing it slower every time.

the sunlight streamed through the window, hitting your face and waking you up with an unpleasant grogginess. your head throbbed, and your mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. slowly, you opened your eyes and glanced around, realizing you were in your own bed. relief washed over you briefly before flashes of the previous night trickled back.

you remembered the club, the tequila shots, and then… isaac. you groaned, hiding your face in the pillow, trying to bury the embarrassing memories. what had you said to him? something about his name being beautiful. you cringed inwardly. you could not remember his answer, nor anything that happened after.

a sudden noise from the front door made you sit up abruptly, the room spinning a little from the movement. you steadied yourself, listening. someone was trying to come into the house. your heart raced as you quickly as you oustretched your hand, reaching for the phone on the bedside table.

"amy?" you whispered as soon as you friend had picked up.

"y/n?" amy wondered. you could tell that she had just woken up herself, her voice almost breaking. "who's that?" another voice asked and you could imagine henry, amy's boyfriend laying next to her, confusion evident on his face.

"it's y/n" amy whispered harshly, before her mouth was closer to the phone again. "what is it, honey? it's the middle of the night"

"it's past eleven" you whispered harshly "and someones trying to break into the house"

"what?" you couldn't see what she was doing, but imagined she was sitting up in bed, due to all the noise she was making.

"someone's breaking in" you repeated.

"shit" amy said worriedly "okay, it's alright, henry can come and-"

before she could finish, the front door flew open. you quickly slipped onto the ground so you could hide behind the bed. "too late" your voice was a pitch higher as you basically screamed in a whisper "they're inside"

"shit, shit, shit" you could hear rushed movements on the other side of the phone "get up, idiot" amy screamed at henry (you assumed) "our friend is getting murdered"

"amy" even after all the years at the side of scott and stiles and every bad situation they had gotten themselves in, you had never been so scared before.

"it's alright, babe" amy tried to sound calming, but failed miserably "we're coming to help you"

"y/n?" a voice called and steps neared your bedroom. you couldn't help the sigh of relief escaping your lips.

"are you dead?" amy screamed and you held the phone away, your ears ringing from the loudness of her voice. "did they find you?"

"well if they didn't before, they would have now" you muttered "i'm alright, it's just isaac"

isaac opened the door, just as you had finished speaking. you raised your hand, waving at him and he walked around the bed, eyebrows furrowed.

"i'll call you back later" you said into the phone, ending the call before amy was able to say anything else.

"so, what are you doing, exactly?" isaac asked, amusement sounding through his voice.

"i thought someone was trying to break in" you shrugged, you saw no sense in lying.

"oh sorry" isaac scratched the back of his neck "i didn't mean to scare, you asked me to stay yesterday, so i slept on the couch and went to grab some breakfast for us"

"oh god" you held your hand in your hands, not being able to look at him "i can't even remember half the car ride yesterday, let alone anything that followed after" you looked down and only noticed now that you were wearing a pyjama.

"you changed yourself" isaac quickly said as he noticed the worry on your face "you asked me to give you a pyjama and changed while i waited in the hallway"

"sorry" you shook your head "i shouldn't have assumed—“

"no, no" isaac quickly interrupted "it's fine, please don't apologize"

you stood up and both of you were now standing in front of each other. "did i say something embarrassing yesterday?" you asked. you weren't sure if you wanted an answer to that, but you had to know.

isaac smiled. "well, you told me that my name was beautiful, which no one has done before, so it's greatly appreciated"

"that's it?" you wondered.

"eh, no" isaac looked a bit uncomfortable now and your smile died down.

"did i say something inappropriate?" your eyes widened "did i say something that made you uncomfortable?"

"no, but" isaac looked out of the window behind you, his cheeks reddening more and more "you said that you really really liked me"

your eyes widened even more and you looked down in embarrassment. "oh my god, i'm so—" you paused, remembering a very important detail from the night before "wait, why were you at the club yesterday?"

isaac laughed. "i was searching for you, actually" he admitted.

"oh really?" you smiled up at him.

"yeah" isaac shrugged "that's also why i stayed even though i live three minutes away, because i really really like you too"

a wave of relief and something warmer washed over you. isaac's words took a moment to sink in, and when they did, your heart fluttered.

"you... you like me?" you repeated, hardly believing what you were hearing.

isaac nodded, his cheeks still tinged with a light blush. "yeah, i do. i have for a while now, but i didn't know how to tell you. when stiles said you were at the club last night, i thought it was the perfect chance to see you."

you couldn't help but smile, the nervousness in your stomach slowly turning into excitement. "you asked stiles where i was?"

"yeah" isaac shrugged, laughing "i thought you were with him, because i always thought there was something going on between the two of you"

"oh, isaac" you shook your head "that couldn't be more wrong. as i said last night: i like you and only you. stiles is like a brother to me, i couldn't never even, no—ew"

isaac giggled, before he stepped closer, his expression softening. "i'm glad we finally got that out in the open."

you nodded, feeling a sense of anticipation building. "so, what now?"

isaac's lopsided grin returned. "how about we start with breakfast? i got your favorite from the bakery down the street."

your stomach growled at the mention of food, and you laughed. "that sounds perfect."

teenage dream

pairing: george karim x fem!reader

summary: one part of you loved fighting ghosts and doing your jobs, the other isn’t so sure if that’s really the right thing for you

warnings: none, but kinda sad, no fluff at the end like usual :(

you were moving through the room frantically, trying to fight the ghost to the best of your abilities.

george called your name repeatedly, before you turned your head, noticing that he was ready to throw the salt bombs. you quickly stepped aside, leaving room for him to throw them at the type two.

just after the ghost reappeared in the corner of the room, he suddenly disappeared, probably because lucy and lockwood had found the source.

george picked up his rapier, that he had lost at the beginning of the fight, before he stepped next to you, your eyes still fixated on where the ghost had last appeared.

"are you alright?" it took a few seconds for his question to register in your mind, before you nodded. "good" he smiled, but you could see a hint of disbelief in his features. "let's go" he took your hand and both of you walked into the entryway of the haunted house.

lucy and lockwood just came down the stairs when you arrived.

"is that it?" lucy asked and lockwood shrugged, before he finally nodded.

"i think so" he looked around the room, before his eyes eventually landed on you "do you still feel anything, y/n?"

your mind had drifted off and only focused when you heard him call your name. "what?" you asked, not missing the worried expression of george.

"do you still feel anything? any hints of another ghost?" lockwood repeated his question and you shook your head. "great, the one ghost was also all mrs wheeler mentioned so we should be finished" he turned around and walked into the kitchen where he collected the rest of your stuff, lucy helping him.

"are you sure, you are alright?" george asked you once your friends were out of ear shot "everyone of us has been unwell after a mission before, it's normal"

"i'm not unwell" you losely protested "i'm fine, just tired"

"okay" george decided it was no use to press further into the matter. you would talk to him as soon as you felt ready.

"let's go home then" lucy and lockwood carried the huge dufflebags you had brought to the mission. both george and you nodded, before either of you helped one of the others to carry the stuff.

over the next few weeks, george did not notice any strange behaviour from you. he decided that it had just been a matter of tiredness and had resolved by itself.

"happy birthday, dear y/n" the whole of lockwood and co were singing when you came down the stairs into the kitchen.

george had made a beautiful cake, decorated in your favorite colour, candles forming the number 19 in the middle. lucy lightened the candles just as you sat down.

"blow them out" lockwood encouraged.

"and don't forget your wish" lucy added, raising a finger.

you did as you were told, blowing out the candles, while your friends broke out into cheering.

"happy birthday" george muttered, plastering a kiss on your cheek and one on your mouth when you turned your head. he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed the almost heartbroken expression on your face, but quickly forgot about that as the smile returned to your face.

"thank you guys" you smiled as lucy started cutting the cake.

it was only after that day that george noticed you acting differently more often. you would stay in bed on days were you weren't booked. you would come too late to team meetings or forgot to show at all.

george grew more and more worried and the rest of the team also started noticing that something wasn't right.

george understood that whatever was going on with you, might've been not something you liked to talk about with lucy and lockwood, but he was your boyfriend. though you had created so much space between the two of you, he wasn't sure what to make of it anymore.

he wanted to give you time to sort out whatever was plaguing your mind, when all came crushing down on a particularly dangerous mission.

"today was close" lucy said when you came back that day. her voice was just a whisper as her, george and lockwood watched you walk up the stairs to your room without another word.

"you have to talk to her" lockwood advised, touching george's arm as if to assure his sympathy.

"i don't know what to say" george said honestly "she won't even talk to me and i don't want to press a topic she doesn't want to talk about"

"but you have to" lucy protested "next time it won't be a window that get's destroyed but one of our heads"

"we wouldn't ask this of you, if it wasn't important" lockwood sighed, feeling for his friend and the complicated situation he was in.

george nodded, watching after his friends that walked up the stairs. he resumed to the kitchen, knowing that you would come down most days, making yourself tea, before you would go to bed.

you opened the door to the kitchen just half an hour later, not expecting george to sit at the table, sipping on his own tea.

your eyes were dull and your shoulders slumped. george's heart ached at the sight of you. he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"the water is still hot" he muttered, pointing to the kettle on the stove. "can we talk?" he asked, once you had filled your cup and sat down next to him.

you paused in your movement of stirring the tea, looking up at him with a mixture of exhaustion and resignation. "yeah, sure."

"what's been going on with you?" george asked softly. "you've been so distant lately, you're not yourself. i feel like i'm losing you."

you took a deep breath, your eyes welling up with tears you had tried so hard to suppress. "george, i... i don't know how to say this."

"just say it," he urged, his voice gentle but firm. he was scared of what was to follow, but he had to know, even if it was something he never hoped to hear. "whatever it is, i'm here for you."

you looked away, staring at the floor as if it could provide you with the right words, shame bubbling in your chest. "i've been feeling... lost. like, really lost. i look at my life and i see nothing but ghosts and danger. i feel like i've wasted my youth fighting something that never ends."

george's brows furrowed, his heart clenching at your words. "what do you mean? you're amazing at what you do. we need you."

you shook your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. "but at what cost, george? i look at other people our age, living normal lives, having fun, and i wonder... what if that could've been me? what if i'm missing out on my own youth?"

george reached out, taking your hand in his. "you're not missing out. we're doing something important, something that matters. and we're doing it together."

"but that's just it" you whispered, your voice breaking. "i don't know if i can keep doing this"

"everyone feels lost sometimes, that's part of being a teenager, it's gonna get better" you wished his reassuring words had some effect on you, but they didn't.

"but what if i don't?" your words were just above a whisper.

george's heart ached for you and the pain between your words and in your eyes. his breath hitched, tears gathering in his own eyes. just like you had feared, he didn't have an answer to your question.

"i love you george" you said softly "but i have to find out what i want and who i am, outside of this life. i'm sorry, i wish there was nothing wrong with me, but there is"

george's heart sank at your confession. "there's nothing wrong with you" he tried to assure once again.

"maybe not, but i have to find that out on my own"

"i wish i could do something to help you" george cried "i wish i could fix this mess"

"i know" you said. "but you just have to let me go, let me do this, please"

"i understand. i hate it, but i understand" george nodded "you've given so much of yourself to this job, to us. if you need to find yourself, then... i can't hold you back."

you looked at him, your eyes filled with gratitude and sorrow. "thank you for understanding. this doesn't mean goodbye forever. i just need some time."

george nodded, sniffing back tears. "i know. i'll miss you every day, but i want you to be happy, even if it means being apart."

you both sat there in silence for a moment, holding each other as if it was the last time. it wasn't the ending either of you wanted, but it was the right one. sometimes, love meant letting go.

as you finally pulled away, george whispered, "i hope you find what you're looking for."

you nodded, your heart heavy yet hopeful. "me too"

the morning sun filtered through the curtains of lockwood & co's headquarters, casting long shadows across the room. the air was thick with an unspoken tension, a somber anticipation of what was to come. you stood in the entryway, your bags packed and your heart heavy. today was the day you would say goodbye.

lockwood, ever the stoic leader, was the first to approach you. he had known this day was coming, yet it didn't make it any easier. his usual confident demeanor was softened as he looked at you.

"y/n" he began, his voice steady but laced with emotion. "i know this isn't easy for you. or for any of us. but i respect your decision. you've been a crucial part of this team, we'll miss you dearly and you will always have a place here, if you decide to come back home"

you nodded, tears threatening to spill. "thank you, lockwood. this place, this team, has been my home for so long. but i need to find out who i am outside of it."

lockwood gave you a tight, supportive smile and pulled you into a firm hug. "just promise you'll stay in touch. and if you ever need us, for anything, you know where to find us."

next up was lucy, who had been like a sister to you. her eyes were red, and she didn't bother hiding her tears. "i can't believe you're really leaving," she said, her voice trembling. "i'm going to miss you so much."

you hugged her tightly, both of you clinging to each other. "i'll miss you too, lucy. more than you know. but this isn't goodbye forever. we'll see each other again, i promise."

lucy nodded, wiping her tears away. "you better keep that promise. and take care of yourself, okay? don't let the world get you down."

finally, it was george's turn. he stood a little apart from the others, his face a mixture of sadness and understanding. the conversation you had shared a few days before echoed in both your minds.

he stepped forward, taking your hands in his. "you know how much i'll miss you," he said quietly. "but i want you to be happy, to find what you're looking for."

you squeezed his hands, feeling the weight of your shared memories. "i know, george. thank you for being so understanding. i love you."

he pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly. "i love you too. always."

as you stepped back, you looked at each of them, your heart full of gratitude and sorrow. "thank you all for everything. you've been my family, and i'll never forget that."

with one last look around the room, you picked up your bags and walked to the door. as you reached for the handle, you paused, turning back to see your friends one last time. "goodbye," you whispered, your voice breaking.

you could hear the three of them snifling. "y/n" george called right before you were able to close the door. "it gets better" he assured you for one last time. the words filled with all the love and hope he wanted you to receive.

you nodded, smiling at him and then you left, hoping that he was right.

—you’re not sorry

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

summary: you and mattheo run into each other years after your relationship has ended

warnings: angst, reader is pregnant

word count: 1.4k

you mindlessly stirred the cup of coffee in front of you, just using a gentle move of your fingers to control the spoon magically. it was a day like any other in late november.

you had finished work earlier than expected, leaving time to drink a coffee in your favorite café, before you were heading home.

"y/n?" you recognized the voice right as you heard it, you heart beating faster suddenly.

"mattheo" you said, raising your eyes from the cup to look at the man in front of you.

"hey" mattheo cooed. a feeling of guilt entered your chest as your eyes collided with his. the same eyes that looked so grown now had been so sad the last time you had seen them.

he raised his eyebrows, pointing at the chair in front of you and you nodded, before he sank down on the cushion.

he looked the exact same, just a bit older. the black suit he wore looked awfully like the ones draco had always plastered himself in. but it looked different on mattheo than it had done on draco. it suited him and made him look all the more flattering, the fabric of his suit engulfing his muscular build. it had been a few years since hogwarts.

"how have you been?" mattheo smiled, and you couldn't help but remember a time when he had smiled at you every day.

you had met mattheo on the first day in hogwarts, both of you unknowing eleven year olds, trying to fit into a world that was just beginning to be yours.

you were in the same year, the same house and had most of the same friends. still, you never really spoke until your third year, when mattheo asked you for a quill, because he forgot his.

ever since then you had become friends, your friends and his forming into a group in the following years, considering that your best friend and his started dating in fourth year, so you saw mattheo a lot more often.

what started as a simple friendship turned into more during fifth year when mattheo consoled you after a particularly bad date. he asked you to hogsmead a week later and the rest was history.

he was a good boyfriend. you relationship consisted of sharing secret rendezvous in the room of requirement, mattheo had stumbled upon after a detention with flitwick, late-night walks around the castle, and whispered conversations in the slytherin common room.

what felt like heaven to you, as you got to know him and everything that was inside of him, was hard for mattheo. there were just parts of him he didn't want you to see, scared it would change the image you had of him.

so while you thought everything was perfect, mattheo started to slowly pull away. you didn't notice it at first, excusing his behavior as a result of having to study much more because of tests and exams. but you grew suspicious when exam season ended and he was still keeping you at an arms length.

you decided that confronting him was the only way to know what was going on.

"is it because of a girl?" you asked as he came back to the common room late one evening. the rest of the house had already gone to bed, but you had spent your time reading, waiting for your boyfriend.

"y/n!" mattheo almost shrieked "what are you still doing up?"

"i could ask you the same thing" you said, standing up and crossing your arms. "where have you been? i haven't seen you since this afternoon"

"nowhere" mattheo shook his head, ready to walk around you and go to bed.

"that's not a good answer" you raised your brows "why are you behaving like this?" you asked, the hurt you were feeling swinging in your voice now.

"what? i'm not doing anything"

"yes" you protested "you act like you don't want me anymore, you're pushing me away, mattheo"

he sighed, but kept quiet.

"it's, alright" you assured "you can tell me everything"

"i don't want to, y/n" mattheo admitted. "there are parts of me you wouldn't be able to deal with"

"don't be ridiculous" you argued, shaking your head at his stubbornness. "i'm not in a relationship with you, because i only want to see your good parts"

"you don't understand this"

"what i do understand is that you're hiding from me" you stepped in his way as he tried to walk around you "and you don't have to hide these parts of you. i can deal with it, i promise"

you noticed the sudden anger on his face too late. "i don't want you to" he screamed, pushing you away as he walked across the room and up the steps. you watched after him in shock. mattheo had never screamed at you. not in the two years you had been dating, even when you would fight.

you spent the following days ignoring the other, until days turned into weeks and both of you decided that it was better to end your relationship. school ended not much after that and both of you parted ways.

you started your career in the ministry and only occasionally heard what mattheo was doing from common friends. you did not try to reach out to him and he didn't try to reach you either.

it hadn't always been easy. mattheo had been your first love and your relationship had ended so suddenly, so heartbreakingly, that you always asked yourself what you could've done different.

"how have you been?" mattheo asked and now that you looked at him once again, he had a lot less in common with your matty. he was a grown man and you didn't feel the same anymore when his eyes fell on your face. that he would see you had once been everything that mattered to you. now he was a stranger and his eyes felt foreign, even if they resembled someone you had once loved.

"good" you smiled. "i haven't seen you in a long time, how have you been?"

he nodded. "great" he smiled "i got married last week"

"wow!" you gushed, only noticing the ring on his finger now. "congratulations!"

"thank you" he mused, before he pointed to your hand "you're married too?"

you nodded, as you softly traced your ring with a finger. "yes" you laughed "and we're expecting our first child" your hand fell to your belly.

mattheo looked around the table, only noticing your pregnant belly now. "i'm happy for you" he said with a sudden sincerity in his voice.

"i'm happy for you too"

"maybe, in another universe" he left the sentence unfished, but you knew what he was talking about.

"maybe" you smiled. as you watched him closely. you weren't sure if it was sorrow or regret that was plaguing his features.

"it was good" he said, as if to reassure himself.

"yes, but we don't have to feel sorry about what happened anymore"

"not sorry" mattheo shook his head "just nostalgic"

you smiled brightly at that, knowing that both of you would always treasure your time together, even if the end of it had broken both of your hearts.

mattheo outstretched his hand, to squeeze yours, before he stood up. "take care, y/n" he nodded as he stepped away from the table.

"you too" you muttered, a hint of sadness in your features as you watched him leave like you did all those years ago..

curly hair, tear stained cheeks and an undone tie lazily thrown across his shoulders, as he looked at you in sadness. his eyes reflecting yours.

"i love you" you muttered, your cheeks just as tearstained as his "but i think i have to let you go"

"i love you too," mattheo said, his voice heavy with regret. "i wish things were different, but I know this is what's best for both of us"

"it is" you nodded. mattheo outstretched his hand, taking yours, before he squeezed it. both of you shared the same sadness, even consoling each other, for a short moment, before he looked at you for the last time and walked away.

you were happy for him. happy that he had learned to love the right way, without having to hide parts of who he really was. and you were happy for you too, knowing that your life had turned out the way you had hoped it to.

and for the first time when you looked back on your relationship, you knew what he was feeling about it, and you knew that the feeling was a deep-rooted form of nostalgia. and after all, you're not sorry.

—shake it off

pairing: quill kipps x lockwood!reader

summary: quill and you play a prank on your brother and friends

warnings: none i think

words: 1k

“i don’t think this is a good idea” you muttered, following after quill as you both made your way down the street. you looked down the street suspiciously, hand on your rapier, ready to fight if necessary.

it was already way past curfew which made his whole idea all the more stupid.

“you said that about fifty times in the last few minutes” he rolled his eyes “don’t worry, it’ll be fun”

“yeah, at first!” you said aggravated “but then all hell will break loose”

“oh come on! isn’t it worth it?”

“i don’t think so” you shrugged and quill came to a halt, turning around in your direction.

“what do you want me to say? or better, what do i have to tell you to make you do this, huh?”

“i don’t know” your eyes found his blue ones “maybe admit what a bad idea it actually is”

he looked down at you with this look in his eyes that always worked. “this is a terrible, horrible foolish idea” he muttered slowly, coming closer to you “let’s do it and see what happens” he grinned.

you were still not really convinced, but you could never say no to him, especially when he leaned forward and plastered a lingering kiss on your lips.

“fine” you groaned and quill laughed “but you have to make it up to me later”

“don’t worry” he smiled suggestively “i will”

now that you had said yes to his (might say, utterly stupid) prank idea on lockwood, lucy and george, he outstretched his hand, taking yours and walking up the steps to the house. “my lady?” he tapped his invisible hat, before he stepped to the side to make room in front of the door. you walked forward and took out your key to unlock the door. you walked inside followed by your boyfriend.

the prank itself wasn’t even a bit thing in it self, but you knew lockwood would flip and so did quill. his plan was to pretty harmless in itself. break into the house and color the faces of the three while they were fast asleep. you knew that your brother would make you both regret everything the moment he would wake up, but you had to admit that just the thought about that was pretty funny.

“okay, here” quill had pulled out a few markers “non-permanent markers for lucy and george. and one permanent for lockwood” your eyes widened.

“are you mental?”

quill just shrugged. “don’t worry, you’ll do george and lucy and i’ll take lockwood. i’m gonna tell him it was all me”

“you better” you pointed an accusing finger in his direction, before you took the markers out of his hand and walked up the stairs in the direction of george’s room.

you drew a mustache and another set of glasses onto george’s face. nothing too extreme, but it was still looking pretty funny.

you did the same with lucy, except that you drew a few tattoos instead of glasses.

you came down just a few minutes after that, waiting in the living room for quill to come back too.

“i’m finished” quill walked into the room smiling, before stepping next to you and kissing your neck.

“me too” you nodded and turned around, plastering a quick kiss on quill’s mouth.

you cuddled onto the sofa, quickly falling asleep holding each other.

you were wakened by a loud scream. you stumbled onto your feet and into the hallway, temporarily forgetting what you had done the night before, before your eyes fell on lucy and george that were standing in front of each other.

it looked like george had been the one who screamed.

“george! hhat happened?” you asked, rushing to his side, feigning concern.

he turned to you, his face contorted in horror. “look at my face!”

you glanced at him and had to bite back a laugh. the mustache and glasses you drew on him looked ridiculous, but you kept a straight face. “oh my goodness, george, what on earth happened?”

“i woke up like this!” he exclaimed, his voice rising in panic.

meanwhile, lucy burst into laughter, clutching her stomach. “oh, george! you look hilarious!”

lockwood, who had been woken by all the noise, came trudging down the stairs, but the anger in his eyes quickly evaporated, when he noticed both lucy and george's faces.

lucy turned her head and she only noticed now, that her face had been colored too, as lockwood pointed at it, still laughing.

her sour expression quickly turned into a smirk, when she noticed the words on lockwoods forehead, hidden behind his hair.

"wait" lucy exclaimed, before she stepped closer to the boy and drew the hair back with a quick gesture. "ohh" she laughed, when she could finally read the words.

lockwoods own laugh died out, quickly looking and yours and quill's direction, before darting to the closest mirror. "londons tiniest swordsman" he read and george and lucy broke into another fit of giggles simultaneously.

"i'm literally taller than you" your brother cried in betrayal, when he turned back around.

"i'm pretty sure quill wrote that" you said defensively, while you tried to no avail to hold back your marker. "and don't worry guys, it's not permanent"

"well, george and lucy won't have to worry about anything" quill laughed into his fist.

"what?" lockwood asked, his eyes quickly widening in horror.

george, lucy, quill and you sat in the kitchen, drinking the tea george had just prepared after him and lucy had easily washed off their facial decorations, while all of you sat and listened to lockwood cursing both you and quill while he tried to wash off the words on his forehead in the bathroom upstairs.

"well, we should definitely expect some kind of revenge" quill concluded, when lockwoods cursing stopped and loud steps echoed through the house.

"oh, you better" lockwood warned with a sarcastic grin, when he entered the kitchen. his hair was drenched and his forehead bright read from rubbing, with all the words still recognizable.

he pointed a warning finger in your direction, while he filled how water into his mug. "i let you date him and this is how you repay me, you, my own sister?"

"it wasn't my idea"

"well, i don't care" lockwood shrugged "my revenge will hit you just as hard as your boyfriend"

"i guess we have to go through that together" quill assured and you and the rest of the table started laughing at lockwoods angry grumbling.

—anti-hero

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader

summary: you hate that you’re so emotional about everything, but draco secretly loves you for it

warnings: none

“hey, guys” your voice was soft and rather quiet, but still loud enough to achieve immediate silence from your boyfriend and his friends.

draco and you had been dating for more than a year now, but you were still not sure his friends even liked you or just tolerated you at most.

“love” draco nodded, a pleased smile on his lips, as he made space for you between him and blaise.

the pairing of the two of you was quite unexpected to say the least. no one in the castle had expected draco malfoy, a slytherin through and through, to fall in love with the sweetest hufflepuff in his year, not even you. you were surprised yourself, when he had one day come to the greenhouse, asking you out for a butterbeer. the rest was history.

“how is you project going?” draco asked.

“well, it’s a bit harder than expected, i have to admit” you shrugged, but draco shook his head.

“nothing you wouldn’t be able to overcome”

“you’re flattering me”

“yeah” blaise exclaimed annoyed “please stop, your guys’ flirting gets on my nerves”

draco and you exchanged a look. “sorry” you quickly excused “i didn’t mean to annoy you”

blaise shook his head, absentmindedly telling you it was fine, before he continued biting down his toast. enzo threw a smile in your direction.

“ignore him” he grinned “he’s been bitter all morning”

“oh what happened?” you asked, rather worried.

draco softly connected your hands, shaking his head at you and whispering something along the lines of telling you about it later.

“oi, we might as well tell her, malfoy” mattheo rolled his eyes, making it evident that he heard every single word.

“i’m not sure if—“ draco tried to say, but was quickly interrupted by mattheo, who leaned over the table as if he had interesting information for you.

“he’s been rejected by tara gallagher”

“oh” you muttered, unsure what to respond.

“seems like someone doesn’t have what it takes to charm a hufflepuff” theo muttered and you turned you head in his direction, surprised that he had even listened to the conversation, as he was busy, reading a book about defense against the dark arts.

“well, not everyone has the privilege to have malfoy as their last name” enzo shrugged, as he added the words laughing.

blaise rolled his eyes, but did not say anything. you looked back and forth between draco’s friends, unsure if the conversation was going in the right direction.

you hated when the topic would fall on draco’s and your relationship. the slytherins would often make jokes about your unlikely pairing, as if it wasn’t already hard enough for you to believe that someone like draco could really love someone like you.

“maybe draco could give you a few tips” enzo grinned and you bit down on your lip.

“yeah, or maybe tara gallagher is just too clever to believe everything i tell her” the words had left blaise’ mouth before he had really thought about the implication they would have about you and draco. just when you thought it was only you thinking in that direction, he quickly threw a hand over his mouth, spotting a regretful look.

“y/n” enzo muttered when he noticed your teary eyes.

draco’s smile died down as he turned his head and noticed the look on your face.

“sorry” you quickly apologized, as you swung your legs over the bench.

“i’m sorry” blaise quickly tried to interfere, but you were already hurrying down the row to the door of the great hall.

“you’re really amazing at talking to girls” theo stated sarcastically “when you don’t make them cuss you out, you make them cry”

“i’m sorry—“

“—you better be” draco interrupted blaise.

“—but she’s just so sensitive. i mean i wasn’t even speaking about her”

“well, the implication was right there” enzo shrugged “you could’ve been a bit more considerate"

"i'm going to search for my girlfriend before you have time to insult her some more"

"i told you i was sorry"

"safe it" draco shook his head, standing up.

"tell y/n we're sorry about blaise" theo said sympathetically.

draco nodded, before he stormed out of the hall, trying to make you out. you were hiding in a dark corner, face in your hands when he found you.

"hey" draco cooed, taking your hands in his and lifting them from your face. "don't cry, love"

"i'm sorry" you sobbed and draco's face softened. he took you into his arms, trying to calm you down. you stopped crying eventually, while he was rubbing circles on your back.

"i'm sorry about what blaise said" draco apologized when you were calm enough to listen to him. "i don't think he meant it like that, you know?"

"it's not blaise" you said honestly, shaking your head.

"oh" draco said surprised, furrowing his brows. "then what is it? there has to be a reason for you to be upset"

"that's just the problem, draco" you said softly "i don't think i have a good reason, i never do"

"what are you talking about, love?"

"i hate that i am like this" you admitted, trying to escape his eyes.

"like what?" draco wondered, worry evident on his face "there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly normal"

"but, i'm not" you argued "i hate they way i always start crying and am upset at nothing, it's exhausting and must be much more for you"

"oh, love"

"and i get that might be the reason that your friends don't like me" you bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying yet again "they must think i'm acting like a baby"

"but they do like you"

"they're always quiet when i'm around"

draco looked away quickly before his eyes were back on you a second later "that might be my fault" he admitted "when we started dating i told them to behave when you would be there, i didn't want you to be uncomfortable at the way they normally are"

"oh, so you even had to tell them to tone it down, because i would be too sensible?" you whispered softly, the tears threatening to spill yet again.

"no, love" draco shook his head, touching your shoulders as you looked up at him with big eyes. "i thought they would ruin my chances with you. not because you are too sensible, just because they can be real idiots and would probably scare any girl away"

"except for pansy" you shrugged, a smile playing on your lips.

"yeah" draco laughed, happy that you weren't as sad anymore "she would probably scare them away first anyway"

you giggled at his words. he touched your face, rubbing your tears away softly. "don't cry anymore, yeah?" he asked "you're perfect the way you are. actually i fell in love with you because you're so sensible, while i wouldn't directly call the way you are sensible"

you smiled up at him with hope at your eyes. "what would you call it?"

"empathetic" draco smiled "i have never seen someone being so concerned about the well-being of bugs"

"i pray nobody kills me for the crime of being small" you recited.

"exactly" draco nodded, kissing your forehead "you're the most caring person i know and i don't think having strong emotions is wrong in any way"

"you really fell in love with me because of it?" you asked "i always thought it was something you were able to ignore or tolerate, not something you liked"

"how could i not? i was a goner after i saw you build a bed for the bug" he laughed "i should've told you, but i assumed you knew, forgive me, love"

"don't be sorry" you kissed his cheeks "i hated myself for it for the longest time, but knowing that you actually like it changes everything"

"i don't just like it, i love you for it"

"i love you too" you smiled.

"and i do think the guys like you" draco nudged your elbow "you should've seen the way theo and enzo chewed out blaise and how sorry the poor fella was. they even told me to tell your they were sorry on his behalf and blaise was apologetic too"

"he didn't do anything wrong"

"he could've been more considerate" draco shrugged "should we go back? we don‘t have to, if you're not comfortable"

"i'd like to finish my breakfast"

"good" draco nodded, taking your hand and leading you back to the table.

blaise immediately apologized several times when he noticed you, even after you had told him it was fine. the rest of breakfast was much more enjoyable with the guys feeling more comfortable now that they knew you were alright.

you were glad to have such a loving boyfriend and draco was glad that you were alright.

you cried a lot less during the weeks to follow, a result of you growing more comfortable around draco's friends and also becoming friends with them too.

after draco had told them they didn't have to behave differently when you were around the ice got broken and they weren't as reserved anymore.

theo and you would often study together. he was good in potions and you were good in astronomy so you would constantly help each other.

it turned out that both blaise and you were giant quidditch fans and were actually fans of the same team. you often spent time talking about past games or different players you liked. he even gifted you a scarf in your team's color for your birthday.

pansy, mattheo and you would occasionally visit hogsmeade together, spending the whole day in honey-dukes, testing the newest snacks and sweets and deciding on your favorite sorts or flavours.

you learned that enzo was obsessed with plants and flowers so you often got him seeds to plant and helped him in the garden.

draco was glad that you had finally settled into the group and that you weren't so afraid of your feelings anymore that you actually had the time to notice that they all found you lovely, even if they would occasionally joke about your ability to start crying so easily, especially during a sad movie.

blaise never made an annoyed remark about your emotional side again and you were happy to finally feel better about yourself and the way that you were.

—

@mqstermindswift

—superman

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo won’t leave you alone after you broke your leg, you’re not sure you appreciate it that much

warnings: leg injury, but nothing else i think

students were jumping to the side as pansy parkinson was rushing through the halls of hogwarts, eager to spot the dark-haired boy she had been looking for for the past ten minutes.

“theo!” pansy called when she spotted him in the library, chatting away with the rest of their friends.

“hey, pansy” theo greeted but he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed her expression. “are you alright?”

“it’s not me” pansy shook her head “it’s y/n”

the chair made a loud sound as it was pushed over the floor as theo stood up abruptly “is she alright?”

“she’s in the infirmary” pansy turned around and theo was close behind her, following her back out of the library and down the hall.

“what happened?” theo asked as pansy started moving even faster. “pansy”

“i think it’s something serious” pansy answered “she send me a patronus to get you and meet her there”

“shit” theo was brushing a hand through his hair, his face having lost all its color. they were rushing through the hallway and theo was trying his best to not fall into a sprint, fearing that pansy would not be able to keep up.

finally, the door to the infirmary flew open and theo and pansy walked into the room. a few curtains had been drawn close and madam pomfrey looked up at the sudden commotion.

“mister nott, miss parkinson” she greeted friendly and like she had suspected them both to arrive here soon

“where is y/n?” pansy asked out of breath

madam pomfrey smiled and pointed to the bed a few ones down. the curtain was closed and theo, closely followed by pansy, rushed forward, pulling it to the side.

“hey guys” you were sitting in bed, eating some jell-o. the rest of your body was under the blanket and a bit of your foot, wrapped up in blue bandages, showed up at the end.

“are you alright?” theo asked confused

“oh yeah” you laughed, making a throwaway hand gesture “i’m perfectly fine. poppy has been keeping me company”

“poppy?” pansy repeated confused. her and theo exchanged a glance, while you were busy waving at madam pomfrey

“this jell-o is amazing!”

“thank you, dear” she smiled and theo watched you gulp another giant piece of bright green jell-o.

“do you guys want some?” you held the bowl in their direction but both of them shook their heads.

“what happened? why are you even here?” theo asked

“yeah” pansy added, crossing her arms “and why do you call madam pomfrey poppy?” she whispered

“well, i fell down my broom” you brushed the blanket to the side, exposing your bandaged foot “it’s broken and it hurt like hell to put back in place, but whatever” you shrugged, slurping the rest of your jell-o down

“what?” theo and pansy exclaimed at the same time.

“i’ve been here for some time” you nodded “so poppy and i became kinda friends i guess”

“so when exactly did you have that accident?” theo asked exasperated

“oh, like this morning?” you wondered “right before classes began”

“it’s almost seven” pansy noted “that’s like ten hours ago, y/n”

“she’s right” theo nodded “you only thought about calling us now?”

“well you were in class and then i slept for a while, so yeah” you shrugged your shoulders, while your friends exchanged confused glances.

"so, y/n" madam pomfrey said when she came back to your bed "i'd say you're good to go. i got you a few more pain potions from professor snape that you can take whenever you feel like you need some, but apart from that you should be alright. we can remove the cast in two weeks, thanks to the quick healing potion i gave you"

"thank you, poppy"

the woman nodded, before she called for a house elf, who brought you crutches you could use during the time your leg needed to heal.

"you're free to take her back to the common room" madam pomfrey instructed pansy and theo. "she needs a bit of rest, but she should be alright to go back to classes on monday"

"so soon?" theo's eyes widened and the protectiveness was evident in his voice.

"of course, mr nott" madam pomfrey laughed at the boys eagerness "we don't want her to miss too much, or grow bored in her dorm, but i'm sure that y/n will gracefully accept any assistance you're willing to provide"

she really shouldn't have said that last part, because theo eagerly nodded. at that moment you had thought that theo's help would be a blessing, but over the coming week you quickly learned how wrong your judgement had been.

he spend every minute close to you, and with that there was no exception. even when you went to the toilet, he was waiting in front of the door for you to return.

he carried your books to every class, even if you didn't share it and made sure to wait after it was over. he often even carried you around, claiming that it had to be far too straining for you to walk around on crutches the whole day.

you loved theo for all the care he was directing your way, but you were also getting tired of it.

it wasn't until thursday that you were able to escape his sight for the first time. and that was only thanks to pansy and mattheo, who had promised you to keep him occupied so you could slip away.

you arrived at the infirmary quicker than you had thought was possible due to your injury, but you were sure it was because of the fear that theo was already chasing you.

"y/n" madam pomfrey said surprised when she saw you standing in the door.

"poppy" you ecxlaimed relieved at the sight of the older woman. "you have to give me something that'll make my leg heal faster, please"

"i can't" madam pomfrey shook her head "the healing potion i gave you a few days ago is the quickest there is. it's only one more week, i'm sure you can wait that long"

"no" you shook your head "another week is way too long"

"i'm sorry, but you'll have to endure that" madam pomfrey excused "healing takes time, sweetheart, like everything else"

"okay, sure" you nodded "can you take me back then? it's probably not beneficial for me to walk around and possibly jeopardize the healing"

madam pomfrey laughed and you send her a sulky look, before she suddenly stopped.

"oh" she exclaimed surprised "you were serious"

"of course" you crossed your arms, which was kind of hard with the crutches still in hand "i wouldn't joke about such a thing, poppy"

"but why would you—"

"here you are" you turned around slowly, like voldemort himself was standing behind you. it wasn't voldemort, but you had to admit, that you would've preferred him.

"theo" you smiled through clenched teeth.

"i searched half the castle for your whereabouts" now that he mentioned it, he did sound out of breath. "walking through the whole castle must've been tiring for you, why didn't you ask me to come with you? i could've carried you if necessary"

you turned your head to look at madam pomfrey, who seemed to slowly understand your situation as she looked a bit disturbed about theo's monologue. you send her a look to the extent of: this is what i had to deal with all week, before you turned back to the boy behind you.

"it's alright, theo" you smiled "i'm fine, really"

"are you sure, love?" theo furrowed his brows "because we do have to walk all the way back and down to the dungeons. you know what? maybe it would be smarter for me to carry you" he was already bending down, a hand on the small of your back, while his other was reaching for your healthy leg.

your eyes widened at that and you jumped away, so his hand was grabbing the air. theo furrowed his brows, but did not say anything, as he walked a step closer and tried the same again, with you hopping away just before he could reach your leg with his hand once more.

"what are you doing?" theo muttered as he grew embarrassed of your little charade in front of madam pomfrey.

madam pomfrey was grinning at the ridiculous dance the two of you were acting out in front of her eyes. she almost felt sorry for theo as he helplessly tried to lift you off the ground, back bend and his body in an umcomfortable stretch.

"what are you—" he reached around you and you quickly slipped away, hiding behind madam pomfrey. "y/n" theo sighed, when he looked up.

"i can walk on my own" you said defensively, one crutch in your hand, the other laying on the ground beside theo.

"but it's easier if i just carry you" theo pleaded "come on, don't be difficult"

you perked your nose up, offended by his words.

theo sighed again. "sorry, that was stupid" he shrugged "can i now help you please?"

you sighed too, exchanging a look with madam pomfrey, who shrugged, before you nodded. you hopped back in theo's direction. collecting your other clutch from the ground before your raised both of them up, waiting for theo to lift you.

"see?" theo mumbled, when you both had said goodbye to madam pomfrey and were on your way back to the slytherin common room. "it's way easier this way"

"yeah, yeah" you nodded, still a bit offended about the way he held you for completely uncapable. you knew he meant good, but god you couldn't wait to get rid of this stupid cast.

he sat you down on the couch, your leg prepped up beside you on a pillow and enlightened the flame in the fireplace.

"thank you, theo" you said reluctantly. "i really do appreciate your help, even if i think you could tone it down a bit"

theo smiled. "it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt"

"it isn't" you assured "but thank you"

you had laid back your head, lazily closing your eyes. theo was right, walking around all day was tiring for you.

"don't be a baby, draco" pansy's voice made both theo and you shriek up. you had fallen asleep, his head on top of yours.

"it hurts terribly" draco said defensively.

"i can't be that bad when she let you go back to the common room after two hours in the hospital wing" mattheo remarked.

pansy and mattheo had walked in first. behind them draco... on crutches!

"i don't even understand that! y/n was there for a whole day"

"well, y/n's not such a nuisance" pansy remarked, dashing out of the way, before draco could hit her with one of his crutches.

"what happened?" you asked and it was only then that the three of them noticed theo and you.

"i broke my leg" draco answered "it was a terrible accident, actually"

"was it?" mattheo had to hold back his laughter. "we were trying to finish our divination project, when draco said it was stupid, spilled his tea and promptly slipped on it"

"yeah, as i said, terrible accident"

"deserved accident" pansy corrected "i was not finished with that cup"

"whatever" draco threw himself down on the cushion beside you "the next two weeks are going to be torture.“

"don't worry" you smiled "i bet theo is burning to help you. are you gonna carry him around too, theo?" you asked, turning to your brunette friend and trying hard to stifle your laughter at the expression on his face.

"oh that would be pretty helpful" draco muttered, before theo had a chance to intervene.

"i don't think i—" theo tried explaining, but you interrupted him.

"it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt" you quoted his own words back to him, voice a bit lower than usual "weren't that your words?"

"i can't carry draco around" theo protested again.

"why not?" mattheo smiled smugly, having witnessed all the times theo had insisted on carrying you. "you did carry y/n around a lot"

"that's different"

"how is that different?" pansy wondered. you could see that she was enjoying the way, theo was helplessly searching for a way out of this conversation. "y/n's leg is broken, so is draco's"

"you can't really expect me to do this, guys" theo laughed uncomfortably, his laughter quickly dying out at all your serious expressions.

"don't you love me, mate?" draco asked disappointed and clearly high on medicine.

theo's face turned a shade paler. "draco, it's not that i don't care—"

"come on, theo," draco pouted dramatically, "i'm your best mate. plus, it's your obligation to help friends who are hurt, remember?"

you almost had to giggle. draco was acting totally out of character, clearly being the cause of all the medication madam pomfrey had given him. you could remember how you had felt after..

pansy crossed her arms, thoroughly enjoying theo's discomfort. "you can't argue with that, theo."

theo sighed deeply, realizing there was no way out. "fine, but only if you promise to stop calling me out for being too helpful."

draco's eyes lit up. "deal! now, could you please carry me to my bed? i think the couch isn't comfortable enough for my poor leg."

suppressing a groan, theo bent down to lift draco. as he did, draco whispered, "be gentle, theo. i’m very fragile right now."

"more than usual?" you laughed and draco crossed his arms, offended at the joke.

mattheo, pansy and you struggled to contain your laughter as theo gingerly picked draco up, muttering under his breath about "suffering for friendship."

draco grinned as theo carried him out of the common room. pansy turned to you, shaking her head in mock disbelief. "honestly, this might be the best entertainment we've had in weeks."

"agreed," you laughed, watching the spectacle.

you all shared a good laugh, your worries about theo's overprotectiveness momentarily forgotten. when theo returned, looking thoroughly exhausted, you couldn't help but smirk.

"enjoy your workout, theo?" you teased.

theo shot you a tired but good-natured glare. "just remember, y/n, i'm doing this out of love."

pansy snorted. "and draco’s enjoying every minute of it out of sheer spite."

"i think he'll come back to his senses tomorrow" mattheo announced, before he, quickly followed by pansy, excused himself to bed.

"in all seriousness" theo said, turning to you after your friends had left "i did it out of love for you too"

you smiled at him, admittedly feeling a bit bad about the way you had treated him, even though he was just trying to help you. "i'm sorry" you excused "i shouldn't have been as dramatic as i was, you were trying to be nice and i ruined it"

"i wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, you know?" theo shrugged "i admire that you always handle things on your own, but it was really courageous and sweet of you to accept my help."

"thanks" you grinned "and just so you know, i did it out of love"

theo's smile widened, his gaze softening as he looked at you. there was a moment of silent understanding between the two of you, a mutual recognition of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. slowly, he leaned in closer, his hand gently reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

your heart skipped a beat as his warm breath tickled your skin. the air around you seemed to crackle with anticipation as he closed the gap between you. his lips met yours in a tender kiss, a gentle affirmation of the unspoken emotions that had brought you both here.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and contentment.

“i’m glad i finally did that” he admitted.

"me too," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his cheek. "but you could've kissed me without hurting your back all week"

"well, any reason to be close to you is a good one" he grinned sheepishly, before he kissed you again.

—miss americana and the heartbreak prince

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

summary: headcanons about mattheo dating a foreign exchange student from america

you're there during your fifth year

mattheo first notices you, when pansy brings you along to a hangout with the group

"this is y/n" your friend pansy introduced. the boys in front of you seemed friendly enough, if a bit arrogant. "hey" you smiled. one of them, a boy with curly hair and lovely dimples, made space beside him. "i'm mattheo" he introduced himself, before he pointed to the other boys, telling you their names one by one.

you quickly become a part of the group of slytherins. it is exciting being friends with them. mattheo is the most interested in you. he often asks you things about your home.

you introduce him to american slang or books you read, while he tells you about the english culture.

he often tells you that he loves your accent, but his is one of the prettiest you ever heard.

when a care package from home arrives, you share all the snacks with your friends. they're amazed when you introduce them to things they never heard about before.

during your time at hogwarts you and mattheo grow even closer, sneaking out at night to go on late night walks, until he eventually kisses you one night.

you start dating at that point.

he often calls you typical british pet names of endearment like darling or love, which makes your heart beat fast everytime. you call him honey or babe and you noticed his cheeks reddening before.

sometimes your american slang leads to funny misconsumptions that would take a while to break up

you can never agree on how to drink tea. mattheo is not as passionate as the average british person and still offended at the way you drink it

despite his rebellious nature, mattheo finds himself studying more because you insist on it. you have cozy study sessions in the library, where he often gets distracted by your presence and playful banter.

mattheo becomes fiercely protective of you, especially when other students gossip or when you face challenges adapting to the new environment. he’s always ready to stand up for you, no matter what. you face some prejudice from students who disapprove of your relationship.

you often leave each other little messages and notes, writing cute things or how something reminded you of the other

as the school year ends, you both promise to continue your relationship and talk as much as possible, either using letters or the floo network or simply telephones.

you both leave an everlasting effect on each other. you teach mattheo to be more empathetic and a lot calmer as he tries to regulate his emotions before acting. he teaches you to take risks and not take life so seriously all the time.

your farewell is pretty sad, but also quite sweet as you both tell each other that you love them.

mattheo and you stay in contact and despite many people not believing you will make it, reunite during the holidays.

despite your relationship still working great you miss mattheo, your friends and hogwarts deeply, so you decide to come back during your senior year (at that point you had been dating for more than a year)

mattheo is incredibly surprised and happy as you tell him the news and going back to hogwarts feels like coming home after a long vacation.

mattheo and your friends are there waiting for you, making you feel like you never left at all.

—bigger than the whole sky

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you get bad news and theo is conflicted about it being his fault

warnings: sad, but ends in (kinda) fluff, trauma, mentions of war

theo was watching you as he always did as you sat at the avenclaw table, chattering with your friends.

his friends were used to that weird habit of his, it seemed like wherever you went, theo was close to watch over you.

"what is it with you and that girl?" mattheo's voice made theo raise his head.

"y/n?" theo asked surprised.

"of course, y/n" blaise rolled his eyes next to him. "what other girl could he possibly mean? all you ever do is stare at her"

"we're friends" theo shrugged. it was true. you guys weren't the best friends in the world but would occasionally meet up on the astronomy tower since you had run into each other there in third year. theo had recognized the book under your arm and you had spend and hour sitting and talking about it.

you often came there now to exchange books and read in silence or talk about them after you had finished them.

"yeah, looks like it" draco said sarcastically as he watched theo's eyes glide back to your form.

"just admit you're in love with her and they'll stop bugging you" pansy nudged the tall boy next to her and theo just shrugged.

"i don't know"

"you don't know, what?" draco asked with a raised brow "you don't know if you're in love with her?"

theo nodded his head and his friends sighed simultaneously.

"how can you not know that?" enzo spoke for the first time "have you never been in love?"

"just because you fall in love with every girl you see, doesn't mean we all do" mattheo joked and enzo frowned at him.

"i'm just not sure, okay?" theo said defensively, without taking his eyes off of you "and even if.. it would never work"

without theo noticing, pansy smiled at him, as he watched his eyes light up as you noticed his eyes and raised your hand, waving at him. "how do you feel around her?" pansy asked softly.

"warm" theo simply said, before he continued "when she looks at me, it feels like the sun glazing my skin during the summer. and when she laughs it sounds like the wind moving the trees. i have the need to keep her safe all the time, even though i know that nothing will happen to her here"

"i think you have your answer, mate" blaise said and theo had never noticed him sounding so sincere and serious. he looked between his friends. they all spotted a similar expression, atleast until his eyes fell on pansy, who looked like she was about to cry.

"that was beautiful" she muttered, while she snuffled her nose "why don't you ever say things like that about me, draco?"

draco's eyes widened in surprise, before his face spotted an expression similar to betrayal, as he turned his head to look at theo. "thanks, mate, for raising the bar to the sky"

pansy slapped his arm and draco's eyes were back on her again, just like theo had already turned his head back at you, not even hearing a word of what draco had said.

you threw your head back, laughing at something the girl next to you had said, before you turned your head and raised your eyebrows in surprise as an unfamiliar owl landed on the table in front of you.

theo raised his eyebrows too. he watched as you ripped open the letter and your eyes scanned the paper. he could not read the expression on your face and was wondering what you were thinking, when you quickly muttered something to the girl next to you and stood up, rushing out of the hall.

"was she crying?" blaise asked surprised and theo quickly remembered seeing a few tears slipping over your cheeks.

and then he knew what letter you had just gotten.

"a ministry owl" he said for his friends to hear. he didn't have to further explain. they all knew what that meant

"oh" pansy said and all color vanished from her face. "do you think..?" she left the question unfinished and theo just nodded.

"where do you think she'll go?"

"i know where" theo muttered "but i'm not sure that i should be the one to comfort her now"

"what? why not?" mattheo shrugged "you clearly love her"

theo looked up from the table and his friends noticed the hint of tears in his eyes "what if it was my father? i can't possibly try to comfort her, when i'm one of them, can i?"

"you're not one of them" pansy shook her head "you're not you're father, none of us are our parents"

"that doesn't matter. there's a war brewing and when it comes down to it, i'm on the wrong side"

"you're still her friend" draco argued.

"draco is right and that you're conflicted on all this shows how much you care enough to not let your beliefs come between you two" pansy said.

"go" enzo nodded.

theo stood up from the table and walked out of the hall in a quick step. he took two steps at once when he walked up the astronomy tower. just like he expected you were already there.

you were staring down to the grounds of hogwarts, while quite tears ran over your cheeks. they were reddened just like your eyes and despite it all, theo thought that you were incredibly beautiful.

you turned around when one of the floorboards made a sound when he stepped closer, but quickly relaxed once you noticed it was him.

"hey" theo muttered, before he sat down beside you. "is it alright if i sit with you?"

"you already are" you shrugged, but there was no malicious intent in your voice and theo relaxed.

you sighed, before you pushed the letter from the ministry in the taller boys direction. theo's eyes scanned the words on the page.

"they burned our whole house down" theo looked up from the paper when you started speaking. "they didn't find my parents once the aurors arrived. they're not sure if they could flee, or if the death eaters took them"

"i'm sorry" theo muttered, while he folded the paper. "i hope they're alright. i wish i could do something"

"you've come here" you said softly, before you moved closer to him and put your head an his shoulder. theo reluctantly raised his arm and then gently rested his hand on your shoulder, pulling you closer.

"do they know who did it?"

"mmh?"

"do they know which death eaters—“ you sat up suddenly and theo fell silent.

you frowned at him, scrunching your eyebrows together as you thought about what he was implying with that. you were not stupid, you knew that many of your classmates parent's were involved with the wrong people.

theo just stared at you blankly, while you did the same. neither of you said a word, before he tried to look away.

"what are you talking about?" you asked, bringing his attention back to you.

"nothing, i just--"

you could read the sadness and regret in his eyes. he looked like he was personally at fault for whatever had happened to your home and family.

"you think your father could have done it"

his eyes widened when he heard the anger in your voice. he watched as you stood up from the floor and walked to the middle of the tower.

"y/n" theo muttered, as he rose to his feet and followed you. he was interpreting your anger in the wrong way. "i'm sorry, i know that i--"

"that you what?" you said angrily as your turned around to look at him. "this is not your fault, theo. you don't get to think or say it is"

theo raised his eyebrows as he realized what you were really angry about. you weren't angry that both of your lifes had been dedicated to opposing sides through the acting of your parents. no, you were angry that he thought he was somehow to blame for something that had been decided before he was born.

"i don't know what i can do, y/n" theo said helplessly "i want to comfort you, but how could i when there's a chance that i'm a part of what caused your hurt" "you're not part of any hurt, theo" you shook your head "what's happening out there has nothing to do with you and me"

"but what if it has?" theo gulped and tears shimmered in his eyes "what if the war comes and we have to kill each other"

"i won't let it come to that"

"how can you know?"

"i don't know anything, i just know that right now, all i want is for you to hold me"

theo looked at you for a few seconds and you weren't sure if he would just turn around and walk away, but he softly nodded his head, before he opened his arms, so that you could step inside.

after a few minutes, you softly stepped back and took his face in both of your hands.

"i don't know what's going to happen to us, theo" you whispered as theo watched you closely. he felt the warmth of your hands on his cheeks and your touch felt so familiar that he wasn't sure if he could ever live without it. "all i know is that we will not become the victims of our parents decisions"

theo nodded and you did the same. he softly kissed your forehead, before he brought you back to his chest and just held you for what felt long enough to fix anything that had not yet happened to you.

—long story short

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you survived a violent person before, knowing well enough that you wouldn’t ever tolerate going through that again

warnings: mentions of (heavy) violence, trauma, slight panic attack (but not in detail and not directly mentioned as such), party, underage drinking, very sad and angsty, a little fluff at the end

word count: 2.3k

the party was bustling with noise, almost so much that you couldn't hear yourself think. pansy was just handing you a drink, as you were mantaining eye contact with theo across the room.

"that your girl?" theo looked up at the sudden voice next him. killian brodery had sat down beside mattheo and him.

"almost" mattheo smiled, nudging his best friends shoulder.

"it's a shame" killian shrugged, sighing "i would have loved to see if the rumour was true"

"what rumor?" theo muttered, talking for the first time since you and pansy had left them alone to get drinks.

"you didn't hear it?" killian laughed and mattheo and theo exchanged a look, suspicious at how thei classmate was behaving.

killian stopped laughing, realizing that they really didn't know what he was talking about. "well, i heard she was a wild slut in bed"

mattheo's chin hit his chest and theo's eyes were bigger than ever.

"what the fuck did you just say?" theo asked, daring killian to repeat his earlier statement.

"well, it's just a rumor, nott" killian raised his hands "nothing's proven until i didn't test her out myself"

"test her out?" mattheo repeated disgusted "watch what you're saying"

"she isn't your slut yet, is she nott?"

mattheo wasn't fast enough. before he could grab theo's arm, it had already made contact with killian's face. blood was immediately spluttering from his mouth, dripping across the floor, when his head flew back from the impact.

"shit" mattheo muttered, trying again to reach for theo, who was busy climbing on top of killian and continuing his hitting even harder.

"you never talk about her again, you hear me?" theo bellowed. the music had been cut so his voice was echoing around the entire room. "you disgusting twat!" he spit on the floor next to killian's head, who's face was bloodied and almost unrecognizable.

mattheo did his best to hold back his friend, when killian made a move to stand up from the floor.

theo wiped the blood from his hands, like it was a few drips of water, before he looked up at the crowd of people that had formed around them.

his eyes wandered around the room, ultimately landing on pansy, who was looking at him like she couldn't believe what he had done. her arm was outstretched, put around your shoulder, as she was holding you close to her body.

"y/n" theo muttered when his eyes finally landed on you. you were shaking, tears running over your cheeks and your eyes were fixated on killian, who was groaning in pain.

"y/n" theo repeated and you moved your head in his direction. his heart broke when he noticed that you looked scared. you shook your head and stepped back, when he outstretched his arm in your direction.

everyone dived to the side, voluntarily creating an alley for you to walk through. theo tried to follow, but pansy caught his arm.

"don't" she muttered, before she nodded in mattheo's direction, guiding him and theo back to their room, where they could speak in private.

the door fell closed behind them with a thud. both boys sank down on their beds, staring in pansy’s direction with big eyes.

"shouldn't someone go and check on her?" mattheo wondered and pansy nodded.

"enzo asked luna to do that" she explained "i think she can be trusted to stay calm, unlike other people" her eyes wandered over theo, who lowered his head in shame. "what were you thinking, theodore?" her dark eyes were piercing through his skull and theo could hear mattheo gulp.

"he said some awful things about y/n" mattheo tried to help his friend as theo decided to stay quiet.

"that's messed up" pansy shook her head, crossing her arms, still wearing a look of dipleasure "but is violence really the solution? you nearly bashed the poor blokes head in"

"he deserved it" theo muttered through clenched teeth "no one deserves to speak about her like that"

"then you should've gone to snape or even dumbledore, theo" pansy sighed.

"as if they would do anything" mattheo remarked bitterly "sometimes there's only one way to handle things"

"yeah, i'm sure that's what you've convinced yourself of"

"he didn't deserve to speak his side" theo spoke up once again "i should've thrown him out the window, but when i saw y/n, i—" he fell silent, pushing back his hair and looking up at his dark-haired friend "what's going on with her?"

"i'm sure she would prefer to tell you herself" pansy muttered, an unreadable expression on her face.

"i fear there's no time for an explanation from anyone but you, if theo still wants to save his now endangered relationship with y/n"

"he's right" theo muttered with pleading eyes.

pansy sighed. "i'm not sure in which detail y/n has told you about her childhood"

"she just mentioned a few things, but not much" theo shrugged "why?"

"what i'm about to tell you, cannot leave this room, alright?" pansy asked with furrowed brows, looking back and forth between both boys.

"we promise" theo quickly nodded "right, matt?" he looked at his best friend with demanding eyes.

"sure" mattheo quickly answered.

"well, her childhood was pretty miserable" pansy began "from what i've gathered she has a great relationship with her mum and step-dad, but when she was younger and her parents were still together, her biological dad would often beat her mum when he had drank too much. y/n would mostly hide in the closet or under the table, because her mum was scared that her husbands wrath could transfer onto her too, if he'd seen her"

"shit" theo said, his face sinking into his hands. the room was filled with stunned silence, before pansy continued.

"that had been going on for several years, before they finally got help and her mum was able to leave y/n's father. she doesn't really mention him, but i think he died a few years ago. when her mum got married to her step-dad it was pretty hard for her to feel safe around him, but now she has a great relationship with him" pansy explained "even though all that is over, she just hates violence, which is understandable. and i guess seeing you like that, triggered something in her"

before any of the boys could say something, the door swung open and blaise was standing in the room. "it's y/n" he quickly explained, one heavy breath chasing the other, as he had probably ran there. "luna says she's very unwell and can't speak. pansy, maybe you could—" he wasn't even finished talking when theo had already left the room.

"theo" pansy called, trying to hold the boys arm, before he could scare you further than he already had.

in your room, you were heavily crying, while luna was trying to calm you, rubbing circles over your back as your head laid in her lap.

"it's alright" she cooed repeatedly, but it was to no cause.

"y/n" theo's voice in the doorway made both of you look up, your breath momentarily halting.

luna slowly stood up, wrapping you in the blanket, before she left the room, assuming that theo had been sent by pansy.

theo sat down on the bed beside you and you flinched. he looked away from your trembling body in pain, as he recalled the look of fear you had given him the first time since he had met you. you had never been scared of him. now he feared he had broken something he wouldn't be able to fix.

"i'm so sorry" you began crying harder. as if what he was saying was a sword, slicing deeper into your skin with each word. he tried to catch your eyes and he was shocked to notice that you resembled a child more than yourself.

"that's what he always said" you hiccuped between long breaths.

"your dad?" theo wondered softly, unsure if it was too far for him to ask, but he guessed that you already assumed pansy had told him, so he waited for your answer without another word.

"he's" hiccup "not" hiccup "my dad"

"i'm—“ theo bit his tongue, not wanting to disturb you any more than he had already "excuse my words"

you nodded, your eyes still distant, but your breath a lot calmer.

"i was an idiot" theo continued speaking when you stayed silent "i was trying to defend you, without realizing i was the one hurting you" he came a bit closer, climbing further onto the bed. this time you didn't flinch away. theo took that as a good sign.

"i understand if it's too hard for you to forgive me—"

"this isn't about forgiveness, theo" you shook your head. surprisingly the anger in your chest had calmed you down enough to stop crying and panicking. well, you were still crying but the tears were now only running silently over your cheeks. you had promised yourself to never let someone treat you like your dad had.

"it isn't?" theo wondered and you nodded.

"it's always about power, in some way or the other"

"i don't think i understand"

"if i forgive you i give you the power to hurt me again" you explained "that's why forgiveness is so important to people like him"

"he asked for your forgiveness?" theo wondered surprised.

"he always did" you laughed dryly "that's what all of them do when they're calm again. they act regretful and tell you that they didn't mean it in the way it came across. that he didn't want to hurt her when he grabbed her hair and threw her against the wall. that it was all one big misunderstanding. that he's sorry and he will never do it again, until he does"

theo watched you with widened eyes and a stunned silence filled the room once again. he had not thought you would speak about your trauma so openly with him.

"i'm not like that" he muttered "i'm not like him, i promise"

you send him a look and he realized that maybe, without the intention, he did now sound like someone you had just described.

"you know, he used to always defend my mum when someone talked bad about her. when words weren't enough anymore he started hitting people and when that wasn't enough anymore he started hitting my mum"

"i wish i could take back everything that happened tonight, i would have never—"

"it doesn't matter, theo" you shook your head "because you can't take it back. i know you meant well, but it's scary how easily you decide that violence is the only solution, how long will it take to be the only solution in our relationship?"

"i would never touch you like that, y/n" theo promised, tears threatening to spill and imitating your crying "i would never hit you"

"i knew that you would come here to tell me that" you said honestly "weren't it those exact words he said to my mum after another fight escalated. and i asked myself why she could forgive him just like that"

theo's heart sank at your words.

"love is a dangerous thing" you muttered "but trust is even more dangerous. because how will i know that you won't just decide differently one day? how can i be sure that you really would never think of hitting me and not that you're just sure you won't hit me right now?"

"i don't know what to tell you" theo exclaimed helplessly, his voice only above a strained whisper.

"i don't know what to tell you either" you replied. "i swore that i would never be as forgiving as my mother and even if i know you for as long as i do, i don't think i can just go back on that promise"

he looked into your eyes, into the eyes of the girl who had to watch her mother cry while having the same eyes as the man who was responsible for her pain and it made theo's heart ache for you.

"i wish there was a way to make your forget all about it"

"i don't want to forget" you shook your head. you could tell that he meant well, but he didn't understand. "i survived a monster, and i don't want to forget how he made me or my mother feel, because i'll always remember that i was stronger than any of his words or his violence could ever be"

"you're the bravest person i know" theo muttered with a tight-lipped smile, saddened by everything you had to endure, but proud at the same time.

"thank you, theo" you cried softly.

"i will work on myself" theo promised "i will change as much as necessary for me to deserve you again, but only if you want me to, if not i will leave you alone, as much as that would truly break my heart"

you saw the sincerity in his eyes. a sincerity you had never once seen in the eyes of your father, a man that had if you were honest, nothing, that would make him comparable to theo in the furthest.

"i would like that. and maybe we can do that together" you muttered "i think there are a few things i could work on myself"

"i will make sure you will never see me like that" theo assured "i don't want that for you and i don't want to be someone like that"

you nodded, before you softly crawled closer to him, laying your head in his lap. you closed your eyes, the strains of the party and all your crying had tired you out. theo softly combed through your hair as you slowly fell asleep to the warmth of his voice telling you a story.

maybe there was peace for the both of you in the future.

—

@mqstermindswift

—the moment i knew

pairing: quill kipps x lockwood!reader

summary: quill and you were a lot closer once, before everything suddenly changed and he was not there when you needed him most

warnings: canon typical violence, angst (with a happy ending)

note: this had been in my drafts for way too long, the ending is kinda meh and i kinda hate all of this so..

"look out, y/n!" kat called and you jumped to the side at the last second, before the ghost could touch you

"thank you" you called towards the girl and continued to try and fight the ghost off. that seemed to work for a while, until it didn't.

"quill!" you called out. the boy had his back facing you, searching through a stake of books at the table. "quill" you repeated "i need you, please" the wail screeched and you jumped aside once again. there was only so much you could do, until it would be able to come close enough to touch you

you continued to fight as much as you could, stepping back when the ghost charged at you once again. you stumbled over a piece of furniture and quickly made contact with the floor, losing your rapier in the progress.

"shit" you exclaimed and watched in horror as the ghost came closer and closer to you "quill" you called for the boy once again, but he was still much more concentrated on whatever he was doing "quill"

the ghost outstretched his arm and— darkness

you shrieked up in bed, forehead drenched in sweat, once again being awaken by the nightmare there replayed itself in your worst nights.

you got out of bed, changing into comfortable clothes. the walk down to the kitchen was quiet, only filled with the chatting of your friends.

"morning" you smiled, entering the kitchen and sitting down next to your cousin, anthony lockwood himself.

"morning" your friends chimed

lockwood noticed the stoic look on your face, just how he noticed about everything that you did. he was always concerned of your well-being, especially after your almost death a year ago, while still working for fittes.

the moment he had heard what happened, he showed up at your doorstep and talked you into joining his newly founded agency. at least he could have a look over you.

he hated kipps even more, after what he did to you.. or more precisely.. didn't do.

"it's the nightmare again, isn't it?" he muttered and you nodded softly

after you joined the agency you had resigned to only do researches, helping george and mostly staying away from cases, your trauma being too much for you to handle that again.

lockwood was glad that you decided to stay away from fighting ghosts, but he was concerned either way. you had always loved working in the field and never were scared before facing a ghost. that all had changed and in some moments, anthony thought he didn't recognise you anymore.

"we'll talk about it later, yeah?" you asked to stray away his eyes from your form. lucy and george watched curiously as you leaned back in your chair and slowly started biting down your sandwich.

"you look tired" noticed george and you nodded

"the traffic was too loud, I will try to catch some sleep later" none of your friends said anything about the obvious lie. they knew it was your way of telling them to just drop the matter. they all shared a glance, before returning to the topic they had been discussing before. a new case that had just revealed itself this morning.

"i think we should take a stop at the library" george suggested

you smiled at that. "oh yeah, we haven't gone there together in forever!"

the rest of the group nodded, happily accepting the shift in your mood and continued eating. after breakfast you cleared the table and took your stuff, heading to the library.

you stood in the middle of two rows of shelfs, a few feet away from the table the group had sat down at. you could hear lockwood's faint voice. he sounded... angry?

you collected all the books you needed in your arms and went back to the table. the last thing you caught was what lockwood had to say, before you arrived. "y/n will be back any minute, i want to see you gone by then"

you looked up and caught kipps' eyes across the table. he looked at you, interest in his features. you hadn't seen much of each other in the past year, always keeping away from places you knew the other person could be.

"quill" you greeted neutrally

"y/n" he nodded

"what did I tell you?" you could feel lockwood's anger bubbling.

"i'm sorry" quill shook his head "i wasn't aware that you had bought the library"

lockwood rolled his eyes. "we haven't. but here are a few tables where we wouldn't have to see your faces"

quill ignored him completely. he stepped next to where you still stood and took a glance at the books you held in hand. his face was so close, that you could feel his breath fan over your neck. if you had moved your head, you probably would've kissed.

you knew that quill didn't do it to anger you. after all he was mostly searching for your forgiveness. the letters he send you never stopping. lockwood didn't know about that, and you would never tell him, because in his eyes quill didn't deserve one second of your attention, while you were only mere seconds away from breaking and forgiving him.

quill only did this to anger lockwood, but you knew he was concerned about you. you just get yourself back in a position where you were dependent on that concern.

"leave them alone" lockwood bellowed and quill grinned, resting his hand against your waist and giving it a gentle squeeze. you looked at him and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

in your head, you had forgiven him a long time ago. you were still distanced and hurt, but you knew that he hadn't done it to hurt or potentially kill you on purpose.

it were still the same feelings that made it hard for you to stir away from the boy. in his letters, he had talked about those same feelings he harboured, not that lockwood would let you out of the house without lucy, george or himself, so there wasn't a chance to pursue anything.

and you weren't even sure if you still wanted it.

he stepped away from your body, and something in you was sad at the warmth that left with him. but that was the weak side of you, the side that would read his letters and cry itself to sleep or that would sometimes even answer them. you had to get over him and you had to do it fast.

the next morning you all stood in front of the house that you had spent the whole day before researching. lockwood had just parted you in two teams, this was the first case you would join again, after the incident.

but before you could walk in, a deprac van honked and came to a halt next to you. barnes stepped out and greeted you all with a warm smile and the look of his eyes that clearly said 'i have to do this so just accept it'

you all looked at him questionly, but before he could explain, why he was even here, the back doors of the van opened and quill kipps, followed by his team members stepped outside.

"oh hell no" lockwood said loudly, but you knew that barnes couldn't do anything against it.

"sorry, tony" quill shrugged his shoulders and looked absolutely everything, but not sorry

"hey" said kat, before she hugged you in greeting, bobby and ned following

"hi" you smiled back at your former team members

quill was the last to greet you and he just touched you lightly at the arm.

"stay away" lockwood bid at him

"it's alright, anthony" you said softly. lockwood watched in disdain, how your eyes looked up at the blonde and followed his every move, you looked at him like he had hung the moon and lockwood stepped forward in protest

"it's alright, tony" quill repeated your words, softly stroking your cheek, before he stepped away. you immediately missed his touch.

"why are they here?" lockwood turned his head at barnes, waiting for an aexplanation.

"because it's a big building" barnes shrugged "it's already higher than your paygrade, so just be happy i'm still letting you on this case" he crossed his arms and waited for lockwood to protest.

lockwood looked between his friends and of course noticed your pleading face. "alright" he said between clenched teeth. "but we will get our fair share"

"of course" barnes nodded, before he got back into the car and drove off.

"cozy" kipps raised his eyebrows "so, what's the plan?"

"you're waiting for me to tell you?" lockwood asked in surprise

"well" kipps shrugged "you were here first" he paused and lockwood didn't miss the quick look in your direction "and i'm trying to be amicable"

"great" lockwood nodded sarcastically "i say we split up. your team will take the west wing and mine the other — wing, yeah"

"wouldn't it be smarter so split according to our talents?" lucy asked from behind the boy

"lucy" lockwood hissed

"yeah" kipps almost jumped into the air at the opportunity "that means y/n is coming with us and bobby stays with you"

"you must be mental if you really think i would let them go with you" lockwood walked closer to kipps

"it's alright" you pushed your arms in the middle of the two boys' bodies, seperating them.

"no, it's not" lockwood said

"it is!" he raised his eyebrows in surprise at the adamant tone in your voice

you reached for kipps' arm, dragging him into the building behind you. the rest of his team following.

"i will kill you if something happens to them" you could hear lockwood call after you

quill flashed a cheeky grin at lockwood over his shoulder, fully aware of the storm he had stirred up. you led quill and his team through the dimly lit corridors of the mysterious building, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. lockwood's warning echoed in your ears.

"what's wrong?" you asked, turning to face quill, when he halted in his step. he put a finger to his lips, signaling you to be quiet.

kat and ned had taken on the rooms down the corridor on the second floor, while you and quill had stayed back, searching the first floor.

“someone’s coming” quill whispered, reaching for your arm.

you saw the ghostly form approaching, slowly it came down the stairs. it was like if you had been frozen. the past years flashed before your eyes, the house and the touch of a ghost you had almost felt. you thought you had left it behind you.

“y/n!” quill shook you “y/n, come on” he was looking between you and the ghost. he noticed your eyes not moving from it.

“i—“ you tried to speak, but you weren’t able to utter a single word.

the ghost was too close now. quill drew his rapier, knowing that he would have to fight it on his own. and he put up quite a fight, throwing salt bombs, before he was finally able to get rid of it, atleast temporarily.

“we need to go” his hands were on your shoulders and the ghost was nowhere in sight, but you still looked so scared. quill knew that he was to blame for that. “y/n”

he could hear the ghost come back to life behind him. it did not take him longer to decide what he had to do. it was to no use to fight it off, he did not have anymore salt bombs and a source was nowhere in sight, not that he would’ve known what it was.

he picked you up, just as the ghost began charging at you. and he ran, calling for help or someone to finally pull a few silver net over potential sources.

someone might’ve actually found something, because right as it was too late, the ghost disappeared and quill came to a halt.

“y/n!” anthony called, sprinting into the hallway, closely followed by lucy, george and bobby. “thank god” he sighed when he noticed that you were alright.

“thank you” you looked at quill, who had saved you. “quill saved me” you said, turning your head to look at lockwood.

lockwood nodded, wearing a tight-lipped smile, before he outstretched his hand, shaking quills to thank him.

“i just did what i should’ve done a year ago” quill answered uncomfortably “i’m sorry for all the hurt i caused”

you nodded, already having made the decision that he was truly sorry and did not longer deserve to be punished for it.

“everything is okay, quill” you just said. quill smiled at you and even lockwood could not stop his features breaking into a grin.