Feelings - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

I Was There

I was there for you.

I listened to all your problems.

If you needed me

I was there for you.

If you struggled

I was there for you.

If you had a breakdown

I was there for you.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on

I was there for you.

If you needed encouragement

I was there for you.

If you needed to vent

I was there for you.

If you wanted to gush about your day

I was there for you.

But when I needed you

You weren’t there.

I felt like the whole world was crushing me.

You weren’t there.

I felt a heavy weight on my soul.

You weren’t there.

I cried on the floor for hours.

You weren’t there.

I was so close to giving up.

You weren’t there.

I felt so alone.

You weren’t there.

I called you.

You weren’t there.

I needed you.

You weren’t there

You weren’t there,

Because you didn’t care.

Is there an end to this pain?

Seems like I'm walking in the fast lane

When will death come to take it's claim?

I can't seem to stay sane

Maybe it's my fault, I know I'm not the same

Crying in the rain

It's getting hard to sustain

Everything I do seems to be in vain

You say that I complain

But how can I when my minds in chains

My energy is drained

I tried to contain

Now I'm going insane..

- By burningwastelandtyrant aka me

Confused in this game of show and tell

I don't know when I fell

These demons asking me to sell

I'm trying to get out this cell

I feel worse than 'unwell'

I feel like an empty shell

I tried to yell but my throat started to swell

Why can't these feelings dispel

My demons need to go back to hell

I'm starting to impel

I need to quell

People need to stop ringing that bell

If they don't I'm going to rebel

It's like I'm under a spell

As if I'm compelled to say farewell.

By burningwastelandtyrant aka. me

He said pick a side

I wish he knew I tried

I desired to hide

To myself I lied

I felt that I needed to abide

I wanted our beliefs to coincide

But they started to collide

With me you started to decried

For hours I cried

But now my tears have dried

My mask has been reapplied

Your actions have been my guide

Yet I still have no pride

I have yet again been denied

The fuel for my anger has been supplied

But it faded into despair when you sighed..

By burningwastelandtyrant (me)

I think I've got a disease

I'm trying not to sneeze

I'm down on my knees

Trying so hard to please

I'm about to freeze

I'm stuck in this breeze

Burdened with these decrees

Like jeez

I'm about to run to the trees

I feel like I'm on a trapeze

And this is not my expertise

By burningwastelandtyrant (me)

The pressure is getting hard to bare

I feel like I'm living in a nightmare

These thoughts are giving me a scare

I think people are beginning to stare

I wish someone would care

My relationships are starting to tear

Im starting to believe nothing can compare

But that's false, I'm as untrustworthy as a hare

But I don't mean to be, my minds just not there

Please tell me it's not fair

I'm lost in this icy midnight air

Cause you don't care and I'm painfully aware

By burningwastelandtyrant (me)

As the situation gradually increases

I start to retract my reaches

Cause with all your speeches

My heart started to fall to pieces

By burningwastelandtyrant

I'm not sure if everyone's confidence is authentic, including ours. We plan our future together when we don't even know what we're doing after the sun rises in the morrow, isn't it scary? The expectations of everyone around us, judging our every move and giving advice, thinking we're a mirror image of their younger selves where everything in their lives took a turn for the worse. Their disappointing stares and comments, our anxiety filled hope that everything will work out and we won't be left heartbroken and alone, still caught up with the ghosts of our past and future, where nothing is certain, but everything is set in stone by the higher power of our world. Our personalities are so similar yet so different, we went through different things, and we chose the same toxic coping methods, yet only one of us has changed and sought to grow and heal. I'm not sure if we can suffer the future together, but I know that I'd do anything to stay by your side, even if that means going for an eternal sleep until our Lord returns and rescues us from our woes. We've gotten to the stage where I'm unsure if my love for you is an unhealthy obsession, but if it is then there needs to be an intervention. I would die for you, but not in the jokingly I would take a bullet just to prove my love, in the sense of irreparable damage, of fracturing my soul just to be in your presence. Now will you listen? I have so much to say but I don't even know if you will hear me, I move to fast but not in the physical sense, in the sense that I'm already picturing our wedding and what our kids will look like, I'm a romantic but you're scared of commitment, where I would commit my entire life to serve you in an instant. Isn't it scary? This life we lead, where we tell each other we're okay, but inside we're terrified of what's going to happen and we both know it. Do you know what you did when you put your name at the end of mine and then said you couldn't promise anything? Not even that you'd try to make it happen with me. It was the most beautiful and heartbreaking day of my life. Why can't you think before you say? We were only joking, and you said that line with such sincerity that I almost believed that we were already at the altar, but can you blame me when you look at me in that way that feels like I'm the only person in your life, that makes me melt and trip over my words like a nervous wreck. The truth is I'm terrified, terrified that one day you'll look at me and give up, that you'll no longer be interested in spending our lives together and starting a family, and it might be irrational but I don't feel worthy of you, and everything that people are saying fuels my anxiety, and if I could just look into your eyes and listen to you tell me how everything will be okay and that we'll get through all of our trials together, I'll truly be at rest. Because the truly irrational thing is that I trust you with everything I have, even though you tell me not too.

My digital arts so far! My Tumblr is my quiet place so I'll post anything I want here. Talk bad about it and I won't hesitate to reply. ✌️

Little, little things

Perhaps, a small sprig of magenta flower;

a short book talking about the world and its confusions, mess, chaos, gentleness, and affection,

a cup of warm, sweet coffee,

a spotless scent of aromatherapy,

the warmth of sunshine in the morning,

will lift up your day.

- levouitee, ‘24 ❀

Just… gimme a minute… y’all. These two need to have this conversation. These two have gone through so much and to see this drawn so beautifully AND with a written snippet just ugggggg my heart.

I need a hug yall, these feelings getting too intense to keep dealing with by myself 😆😅😭💔💙✨

The hologram of his loved one sizzled softly in silence till the blue light disappeared, leaving the stars twinkling sadly before them. Casey can only feel his throat closed up with a choking sob yet no sound comes from it but the gentle sniffles of grief. Grief, he almost laughed, grief is supposed to be something that happens once in a while yet for him it’s everyday, for him it’s Master Raph, for him it’s Master Donnie, for him it’s his loving mom, for him it’s Commander O’neil, for him it’s Master Michelangelo, for him…it’s Master Leonardo, and now everyone until he is the only sole evidence his world exists. He doesn’t want to get attached to this world, to the people who are still living, and breathing and so alive because inevitably- they will disappear, just like everyone who he loved in his life. “You know…” the young Leonardo spoke uncharacteristically, without charisma, without energy, without anything that made Leo Leo. “I don’t know what it’s like to lose everyone in one day.” he whispered, the turtle’s hand still holding onto Casey in a reassuring manner with his gaze still stuck on where his holographic future-self used to be “But I know what it’s like to grieve.” he chuckled tiredly, Casey could only lean close yet he still refuse to look at Leo “There was this line dad said when he finally opened up his trauma to us.” a silent pause took place for a moment, until he continued “There is a type of love that is only experienced through sadness, and a type of joy that is only experienced through grief.” In the cold wind and the gentle lullaby of twinkling lights, his eyes slightly widen. “Pain is the price that we pay for love, and the only way to not feel pain is to never feel love.” Casey finally looked at Leo, his sole reason on wanting to get rid of these fond feelings when he sees this worlds’ family, the feeling of where Raph will teach him how to wrestle, where Donnie will rant about science, where his mom will call him into crazy adventures, where Mikey will make him eat different types of food, where April will teach him about the outside human world, where Splinter will let him watch TV with him, or where Leo will make so many bad and cringey jokes. Where everything made Casey so happy. “But love is what makes life meaningful, so don’t stop loving Casey.” “Because we sure hell will never stop loving you.” Casey felt safe arms around him, hugging him in such a familiar way it made him finally burst. To cry out how unfair the universe is to him, how unfair that he has to grow up in a time with no rest, with no moment of clarity, with no moment to tell everyone he loves that he misses them, he misses them so much. Leo didn’t say anything anymore, yet his soft hums will tell Casey- ‘I’m here, we are here, we will not leave you anymore.’ And for a moment, and maybe tomorrow, that would be enough for him to keep on smiling, to keep on being genuinely happy, to keep holding on. ‘Anatawa Hitorijanai.’ He could hear Master Leonardo whisper to him. ‘Anatawa Hitorijanai.’ ———————————— (some lines here are from Cinema Therapy because those guys can make me cry like a lil bitch, so anyways, we need more angst fuel for my boy Casey cus my man needs to reach his angst potential like our turtle bois >:((( )

(I also apologize if there is typos, its been long since i ever type a long ass story!!) 

Ace you’ve flippin done it again. Gone and made me feel things like UGG MY FLIPPIN HEART!!!

People please hug your strong friends. They’re tired from holding up the weight of their worlds 😭

So desperate it hurts

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Ah, I love the struggle..