Geto Angst - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
jjk masterlist
angst (a) fluff (f) smut (s) masterpost
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ series
shoganai in process
the Ishikawa heir had to enter the Tokyo Jujutsu High to prevent the prophecy that had haunted her family for over two hundred years from coming true. Little did she know that the triggers for the onset of the prophecy were closer than she could've imagined…
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ gojo satoru
losing myself (a)
memories of how you lost yourself trying to keep your best friend afloat.
right here (a) (s)
it was just one of those nights when you had to take care of Satoru since Suguru left…
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ nanami kento
back to shibuya (a) (f)
snippets of your life with kento after you both miraculously survived shibuya.
moving on (a) (f)
how was your life after nanami died?
more to come...
Fix You
Sypnosis - You'd only known her for a flicker of a moment, but in that moment she had become everything to you. To have her ripped away without so much as a moment to process, it was only inevitable that everything would come crumbling down.
Pairing - Suguru Geto x ! Female ! Reader
Warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, canon JJK violence, main character death (not Reader), allusions to suicide, unresolved angst, loss, guilt, slight canon divergence
Word Count - 8.2k (I am so proud of every single word)
Author's Note - This piece might have taken YEARS off of my expected lifespan, but what can I say, I live for the angst.
! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !
“Just be safe, yeah?” you say with a smile on your face, smoothing your hands over the shoulders of Geto’s uniform. His expression mirrors your own — a soft smile curling the corners of his lips upward as he gazes at you.
“Yeah, promise,” he responds, nodding his head at you. Your smile momentarily widens, the smile lines on your face indenting deeper. You push yourself onto tiptoe, pressing a gentle kiss against Geto’s cheek.
The moment is then immediately soiled by a loud, fake retching sound from a certain snowy-haired male. Both you and Geto turn — the latter already biting back the sarcastic quip that rises in his throat.
“Do I get one too?” Gojo asks, crossing his arms dramatically over his chest as he swaggers to you and Geto, craning his neck and jabbing his cheek in your direction. You giggle, removing your hands from Geto’s shoulders — which he nearly protests — and instead you lay your palms against Gojo’s cheeks.
“Dramatic ass,” you tease, then laying a kiss against Gojo’s cheek before you shove him away. He sticks his tongue out at Geto as he stumbles, who only rolls his eyes.
“Come on Satoru, I don’t want to be out all day,” Geto complains, glancing up at you. You smile, nose scrunching in that way that always warms Geto’s chest — he fights the urge to kiss the small wrinkle in the bridge of your nose.
“Yeah, yeah, m’coming,” Gojo waves off Geto’s rushing, turning his head to flash you one last smile before he jogs to catch up to Geto’s side.
“(Y/N) is gonna have a field day chewing us out,” Gojo complains, tilting his head back and letting out the dramatic sigh that he had been holding in his chest. Geto nods in agreement, turning his head just enough to cast a glance over his shoulder.
Riko is still rambling on about all of the things that she wants to do, which mainly includes the simplistic aspects of life. She had already voiced to both Geto and Gojo that she wanted to live life normally — and she had also voiced her want to not constantly be followed by both males.
Geto can’t help the smile that curls the corner of his lips upward, silently watching as Riko speaks in a manner similar to that of an animated character, spreading her arms wide and smiling brightly at Kuroi, who watches the young girl with softened eyes.
“Yeah, but she’ll be more than happy to help with Riko,” Geto points out, turning his attention back to his scowling best friend. Gojo sighs, the force of his breath blowing his bangs from his eyes. “Better that she deals with Riko than us,” he adds with a wiggle of his brow, an action that pulls a breathy yet dry chuckle from Gojo’s throat.
“True,” Gojo hums in agreement, lifting his hands to place them palm flat against the back of his neck. He turns his head, glancing at Riko for a fleeting moment before he turns back to face forward. “D’you think Riko will like (Y/N)?”
“Who doesn’t like (Y/N)?” Geto answers quickly. His jaw snaps shut, cheeks blazing a light shade of pink as he realizes what it was that he had just said. Gojo catches him, but he bites back the sarcastic quip though he so desperately wants to dish it out. “Shut up, let’s just head back.”
< … >
“Y’know, I’m glad that you and Satoru are taking the vessel — sorry, Riko — on a little getaway. It’s sweet of you both,” you say with a smile, leaning back against your pillows. On the other line, Geto lets out a small chuckle, the sound bringing a bout of butterflies to your stomach — God, you were smitten with your boyfriend.
“Not really sweet. We’re doing it because she asked for it,” Geto responds, turning his head to glance at both Riko and Gojo — both of whom were bickering for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He rolls his eyes with a grin on his face, returning his attention to his phone call with you.
“Still, the fact that you both agreed to it is sweet enough,” you tease lovingly. Geto grins at the smile in your voice, wishing that he could see it. “Maybe I can convince Yaga to come with you three.”
“Please,” Geto breathes, closing his eyes. He chuckles breathily after speaking, glancing once more at Riko and Gojo before he faces forward again. “I don’t know how much more of their bickering I can take.”
“I’ll talk to him in the morning. You three get some sleep, ‘kay?” you say softly, and immediately Geto wants to protest — he doesn’t want to hang up just yet. It had been days without seeing you, the most he was able to do was video call you, but even that wasn’t the same as being with you physically.
“Okay,” he relents, his shoulders sagging slightly. “G’night baby.”
“Night Sugu, I love you.”
“I love you more.” He removes the phone from his ear, pressing his thumb against the red hang-up button and turning on his heel to face both Riko and Gojo. “C’mon, (Y/N) said for us to get some rest before tomorrow.”
Gojo snaps his jaw shut at the mention of your name, turning to face Geto and completely forgetting about Riko — who stares at the snowy-haired male with her jaw slack. But her anger over being ignored dissolves quickly into curiosity. She had heard that name several times already — (Y/N).
“Who’s (Y/N)?” Riko inquires, tilting her head and crossing her legs on top of the blankets of the motel’s bed. She rests her hands palm flat against her legs, her gaze flickering between Geto and Gojo — both of whom exchange a glance that almost says, “We don’t want to say anything.”
“(Y/N) is-“
“(Y/N) is Suguru’s girlfriend,” Gojo answers with an indifferent shrug, playing off the stern glare that Geto immediately shoots in his direction. Riko’s eyebrows raise — she certainly hadn’t expected that to be the response. She had expected “sister” or “cousin”, but certainly not “girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? You?” Riko points a finger at Geto’s chest, her eyes narrowing momentarily at him. In response, Geto slowly nods at her, not knowing what to make of the expression on the teenage girl’s face. “I’m shocked.”
Gojo snickers, slapping a palm over his mouth and turning away so that Geto wouldn’t notice him laughing. Geto turns, glaring first at Gojo before his eyes snap back to Riko, who tries — and fails — to hide a smile of her own.
“You’re both hilarious, now go to bed.”
< … >
Have you spoken to Yaga yet?
Sent : 11:40
Yeah, I just left his office. He said as long as we lay low, there isn't an issue with me joining you.
Sent : 11:41
I'll send you our location then.
Sent : 11:42
Okay babe! See you soon <3
Sent : 11:42
Geto smiles quietly to himself, trying to hide the curl of his lips from Gojo and Riko – not that he had to try very hard. Gojo and Riko were, like usual, busy with bickering with one another over God only knows what. Kuroi, bless her soul, is trying her hardest to settle the arguing – but to no avail.
"Hey, Satoru," Geto calls out, effectively stopping the childish arguing between Gojo and Riko. The snowy-haired male turns at the call of his name, speeding up his steps to fall into line with Geto. He furrows his eyebrows together, silently urging Geto to continue speaking. "Yaga approved the request for (Y/N) to join us. She'll meet us here in Okinawa."
"Thank God," Gojo says, casting a sharpened glare in Riko's direction – which Riko responds to by sticking her tongue out. She crosses her arms over her chest, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little excited to meet you.
“She’ll be here sometime in the afternoon, so you’ll have to occupy yourself until then,” Geto teases, chuckling as Gojo punches him in the shoulder. Riko watches on, feeling herself smile at the interaction — maybe being stuck with these two wasn’t as bad as she had made it out to be.
And maybe you were even better.
< … >
“(Y/N/N)!” Gojo calls out, his hands cupping over his mouth as he spots you in the distance. He lifts his hand in a wave once your body turns, eyes falling on him.
You easily make your way over, beelining for both Geto and Gojo. Your arms lock around Geto first, smiling widely as his arms wrap firmly around your waist, lifting you from the ground.
You crane your neck to look down at Geto, your hands moving to hold the sides of his face as you guide his lips to yours, kissing him sweetly and smiling against him.
It’s the dramatic retching and spitting that makes you pull back from Geto — and of course, Gojo is doubled over pretending to vomit.
Geto sets you down, still holding your hips as your head turns to glance at Gojo. Shaking your head, you roll your eyes, scoffing at the male’s behavior.
You turn back to Geto, choosing to ignore Gojo’s theatrics in favor of sweetly reuniting with your boyfriend after however many days it had been since he’d first set off from Jujutsu Tech.
“Hi,” you whisper, scrunching your nose at him as you smile. This time, Geto leans in to kiss the bridge of your nose, laughing breathily when he pulls back and catches sight of your flustered expression.
“Hi baby,” he smiles at you, chuckling as you move to bury your face into his shoulder. His hand tangles in your hair, fingernails scraping lightly against your scalp — the action has you curling further into him like a cat.
“Wow, so I don’t get a hello at all?” Gojo calls out dramatically, throwing his hands into the air and pouting childishly, crossing his arms over his chest.
Your groan of protest is caught by the fabric of Geto's shirt, the rumble of your chest against his own bringing a soft smile to Geto's lips. You disconnect from Geto's arms, turning on your heel and opening your arms to Gojo – which he runs into without a single ounce of hesitation.
"Satoru!" You can't help but bite back the laugh that bubbles up in your throat as Gojo all but tackles you to the ground, nearly knocking you off of your feet from the force at which he runs at you. You let out a hearty laugh the second that his body knocks into yours, your feet lifting from the ground as Gojo messily spins you around in a fashion similar yet not to Geto.
"Thank God you're here!" Gojo loudly complains, his voice just as dramatic as it always had been. You smile widely, holding tightly onto Gojo's neck so that you wouldn't fall to the ground.
"Alright Satoru, calm down," Geto says sternly, reaching a hand out and grasping his friend's shoulder. The touch prompts Gojo to set you down. You smile in thanks, nodding once to Geto before you finally notice the unfamiliar face that stares curiously at you – the Star Plasma Vessel.
Your eyes soften as you gaze at her – she was much younger than you had expected, at least two or three years below you. Following your gaze, both Geto and Gojo step out of your way, allowing you and Riko to meet on your own terms rather than accidentally forcing you both into conversation.
"Hi, I'm (Y/N)," you say with a kind smile, extending your hand in Riko's direction and waiting patiently for her to take it. Relaxed, the young girl smiles right back at you, folding her hand into yours and joyously shaking it.
"Hi! I'm Riko," the girl bubbles, her smile seemingly widening as you release her hand. You have to admit, seeing her so happy, even given her situation, was heartwarming in a way that you couldn't put into words. You chuckle gently at her, then shifting your attention to the older woman that stands at Riko's side – she eyes you with a mixture of curiosity and hesitance.
Riko follows your gaze, glancing at Kuroi and smiling as her gaze and attention returns to you. "Oh! That's Kuroi," Riko introduces the older woman, gesturing warmly to her in a way that has you assuming she may be Riko's mother or older sister – or something of the like.
"It's nice to meet you Kuroi. I'm (Y/N)," you reintroduce yourself, extending your hand in Kuroi's direction. Her eyes flicker down to your outstretched fingers, eyeing them with a raised eyebrow. You understand her hesitation – you were nothing but a stranger to her after all.
With a gentle nudge from Riko, Kuroi shakes your hand, offering you a shaky smile – one that you reciprocate kindly. "It's nice to meet you as well."
The moment that Kuroi's hand leaves yours, Riko is quick to hook her arm into your own, gently tugging you in the direction of the shops that Geto and Gojo had previously promised that they could visit. You let out a small chuckle, allowing yourself to be dragged away by Riko, who immediately begins to talk your ear off about just how annoying she found Geto and Gojo.
"Good to see that they get along nicely," Kuroi comments fondly, placing a hand palm flat against her chest as a soft smile curls her lips upward. Geto nods in agreement, watching yours and Riko's retreating figures with softened eyes.
"Come on, you and I both know that (Y/N) is gonna make me pay for everything," Gojo complains, his voice carrying its usual dramatic whine as he drags his feet to follow you and Riko. Geto and Kuroi chuckle in response, following Gojo.
< … >
"You care about her," Geto says suddenly, his eyes flickering to you as you sit quietly on the beach beside him. With a grin, you curl your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around yourself and watching as Riko and Gojo chase each other through the ocean's shallow end.
Your eyes soften as you watch Riko kick water up at Gojo, laughing loudly as he tries to shield himself (mostly his hair) from getting wet – always the dramatic one.
"Yeah," you whisper, turning your head and leaning your cheek against your knee, your gaze meeting Geto's. He stares back at you with warm eyes, that which crinkle at the corners as his lips tug upward. His hand extends, a finger running lovingly along your cheek. For a moment, absolutely nothing else matters – not the mission, not the Star Plasma Vessel, not anything.
All that matters is that you're with Geto.
You nuzzle lovingly into his affectionate touch, actively seeking more of it – which Geto is more than happy to provide. His finger is replaced by the palm of his hand, thumb swiping at the area just underneath your eyes. "It's sweet, you know."
"Oh shush, you're going soft for her too," you bite back teasingly, smirking as Geto removes his hand from your cheek. You whine at the loss of contact, but you continue to smirk at Geto nonetheless. He rolls his eyes playfully at you, his gaze momentarily flickering to catch a glimpse of Riko and Gojo – both of whom are still chasing each other around the ocean's shoreline.
"Not true," Geto attempts to retaliate, but the light pink hue of his cheeks immediately gives him away. You lift a finger, poking one of Geto's burning cheeks and smirking again at him.
"Sure about that?"
"Oh shush," Geto chuckles, placing his palm flat against your face and playfully shoving you away. Your laugh is caught by his skin, breath fanning against his palm. He smiles as he removes his hand, feeling his heart warm at the sight of the smile plastered onto your face.
"Hey! Lovebirds!" Riko calls out, cupping her hands over her mouth and smiling as she waves at both you and Geto. You turn your head to her, laughing as she places her hands on her hips. "Are you just gonna sit there the entire time?"
You grin at Geto, kissing his cheek fleetingly before pushing yourself to stand, closing the distance between yourself and Riko and placing your hands into her awaiting ones. She drags you gently into the water, laughing as you gasp at the cold water that licks at your ankles.
Suddenly, a spray of cold water hits your back. With a squeal, you turn to look at the culprit, positively fuming as Gojo stands proudly behind you, knelt in the water with his hands raised in the air. You glare at him, snapping your fingers and smirking to yourself as the water surrounding Gojo raises to his height, then completely dousing him in freezing saltwater.
Riko laughs, crossing her hands over her stomach and doubling over to follow the force of her laughter. You turn your head to smile at her, heart swelling at the sound of the young girl's laughter.
< … >
"What's Jujutsu Tech like?" Riko inquires curiously, falling into step with you as you walk ahead of Geto, Gojo, and Kuroi, all of whom had opted to remain a few steps behind you claiming that they were remaining on the lookout for any potential threats.
You hum in thought, folding your hands behind your back as you allow yourself to get lost in the scenery that surrounds you – thickened trees and hanging branches providing you with shade that is a welcome contrast to the blazing sun. You smile, tilting your head just enough to glance at Riko through your peripheral.
"Well, to us, it's like any other school. But to you, I'd assume it'll look like a castle," you respond jokingly, not failing to notice the smile that curls the corner of Riko's lips upward. She lets out a small giggle as she walks beside you, mimicking you and looking around at the trees that line the pathway to Jujutsu Tech's front entrance.
The silence that hangs over both you and Riko is comfortable, comfortable enough that she sidesteps towards you and affectionately knocks her shoulder against your own. You smile, turning your head to look at Riko, who only returns your smile just as brightly.
"Maybe somewhere else I could have gone to Jujutsu Tech with you," Riko mutters, her voice almost too quiet for you to hear. Her words tug at your heartstrings – in a way, you felt guilty that there was no real solution that you could offer. Her sole purpose was to serve as a vessel for Tengen, and it was your job to deliver her to Tengen so that he could continue...whatever it was that he did.
You swallow the lump in your throat, not knowing what to say. You had honestly wished for the same thing – maybe in some other universe you and Riko would have been able to attend school together. Maybe you would have trained her to become a strong Jujutsu Sorcerer. Maybe.
Softly, you reach out to interlock your fingers with hers, squeezing at her hand and willing yourself to smile at her. She returns it, though both of your lips are trembling with a deepened sadness. "Maybe. Don't think like that though. I'm glad we were able to spend time together in this one."
Riko's smile trembles slightly, her eyes shining with unshed tears. You chuckle breathily, reaching out with your thumb to swipe at her lash line, catching the tears just before they're able to fall. "Yeah," she agrees quietly, nodding her head at you.
"We're almost there," Geto calls out from behind your back, smiling softly at you as you turn to acknowledge him. You nod curtly, then returning your attention to Riko, who had squeezed your hand as you walked beneath the entrance archway.
"You ready Riko?"
Riko inhales deeply, feeling her worry ebb away as you squeeze at her fingers again.
"Yeah."
< ... >
"You okay?" Geto's voice is almost too quiet for you to hear, but your ears perk at his whisper nonetheless. You turn your head just enough to glance at him, blinking past the tears in your eyes as you silently watch Riko bid Kuroi farewell, squeezing at her caretaker and sobbing quietly into her shoulder.
You swallow the lump in your throat, lifting your hands and swiping your fingers against your eyes, not wanting to cry. Geto softens at your actions, letting out a small sigh through his nose – but he says nothing about your concealed tears, if anything, he understands.
"Yeah, m'fine," you murmur in response, forcing yourself to smile as Riko turns then to you, tears rolling down her cheeks as an aftermath to saying goodbye to Kuroi. The young girl quickly closes the distance between you, wrapping her arms around you and burying her face into the crook of your neck.
You sigh shakily, holding her tightly against you and resting your cheek against the side of her head. Her body shakes against your own, her tears staining the shoulder of your uniform – but you cannot care any less.
"Can you walk in with me?" Riko whispers into your shoulder, keeping her voice low enough so that only you can hear what she says. You feel yourself shakily smile, your arms momentarily squeezing around her.
"Of course," you whisper back, smiling as she disconnects herself from your arms to return your teary smile. "I'd never make you go in there alone, especially not with Suguru," you tease, both you and Riko sharing a tear-filled laugh as Geto loudly protests over your shoulder – but he smiles all the same.
The moment is soiled then by the remembrance of what you had come down to Tengen's for. You release your hold on Riko, opting instead to gently hold her hand as Geto begins to lead the pair of you down to Tengen.
The three of you walk in relative silence, Riko holding tightly onto your hand as she walks at your side. Every now and then, she sniffles softly – a sound that tugs at your heart the more that you listen to it. You squeeze at her hand as reassuringly as you can, offering her what you hope is a gentle smile – but even you know that the tremble in your lips is on full display.
Geto walks a few steps ahead of you and Riko, his hands stowed away in his pockets as he listens both to your trembled breathing and to Riko's soft sniffs. He would never admit it aloud, but he too felt as if Riko had taken on a younger sister role in his life – even though she had entered his life as nothing more than a package to be delivered. And he would never admit it aloud, but he somewhat wanted Riko to refuse the assimilation.
If not for his sake, then he hoped she would refuse for yours.
"Well, here we are," Geto says suddenly, stopping and looking down at Tengen's barrier. You and Riko stop at his side, hands still intwined as you both peer curiously around the room. Riko lifts her free hand to her eyes, swiping away the stray tears that lingered on her cheeks before she turns to you.
"I-I think I'm ready," she stutters out, swallowing the scared sob that claws at the base of her throat. You soften, turning momentarily to make fleeting eye contact with Geto, who only stares at both you and Riko with a softness that felt similar to that of a loving husband and older brother.
You nod at Geto, turning to Riko and removing your hand from her own and opting instead to place your palms flat atop her shoulders. You stare at her, and she returns your gaze with a curious pinch to her eyebrows.
"Riko, I want you to listen carefully to me. You don't have to do any of this. We could easily forget this assimilation entirely and go back to Kuroi and Satoru. Hell, I'll even take you back to Okinawa so that we could finish shopping together," you laugh through your tears, which roll freely down your cheeks. Riko stares back at you, slightly stunned.
"All you have to do is say the word," you whisper.
Riko swallows, feeling tears build in the backs of her eyes. Her rosy cheeks darken, her eyes crinkle, her lips tremble – she's on the verge of tears all over again.
Her eyes fall shut, her mind mulling over your words. Did she really want this assimilation? Or was she doing it simply because that's what everyone wanted her to do?
"I want to be with everyone longer," she pauses to hiccup, "I want to see all kinds of things and just do more!"
You smile softly at her, removing your hands from her shoulders and holding your hand out to her – just like you had done that day you met her.
She reaches for you, her lips turned upward in that soft smile that you had grown oh-so-fond of.
BANG!
Riko's body crumples to the side, falling to the floor with a dull and lifeless thud. You freeze, hand still extended, fingers twitching in waiting – still waiting for Riko's. Your eyes widen, mind unable to process anything but the incessant ringing in your ears.
At your side, Geto stands stiff as a board, his expression almost a perfect mirror of your own. His eyes wander down to Riko's body, gaze fixating itself on the steady stream of blood that pours from the bullet wound to the side of her head. Her eyes are open in everlasting shock, one final tear rolling down her face before it grossly mixes with the blood that surrounds her.
Your eyes shift only when you hear footsteps approaching, gaze flickering upward to watch as an unknown man strolls into the room, knocking the handle of his gun against his head. A smirk plays at the corner of his mouth, an amused glint to his tired eyes.
He doesn't say anything immediately, instead waiting to close the distance between himself, you, and Geto. The arm that holds his gun lowers to his side, and in a fit of mock curiosity, he tilts his head to the side.
"That was easier than I thought," he comments offhandedly, glancing between Riko's body and you. Your shoulders rise and fall in heaving breaths – breaths that you're unsure are heavy because of anger or sadness. You want so badly to rush the man and give him hell, but something holds you back from doing so.
Geto reaches out instinctively, moving your body behind his own protectively as the man draws closer. You let him – the ringing in your ears is strong enough to hold all of your attention. Your eyes return to Riko, praying that maybe – just maybe – she would stir and sit up. You could take her right back to Okinawa, and everything would be right again.
"(Y/N), get out of here," Geto says quietly, his voice nothing but a muffled buzz in your ears. You nod numbly at him, sidestepping around his body and making a break for the exit. You know that it's wrong – how blindly you listened to him and left him with someone that could potentially end his life.
You screw your eyes shut as you sprint down the hallway, feeling tears finally sting your eyes as the realization of what had happened seeps into the cracks of your mind. You'd failed. You had failed everything. You promised her that you'd protect her, that you would take her back to Okinawa, that you would show her the world that she had been so scared to lose.
A harsh sob rips from your chest as you skid to a stop, doubling over and placing your hands on your knees. Underneath the weight of your guilt, you crumble. Your knees strike the ground as your hands grip at your chest now, clawing at the fabric of your uniform as if it suffocates you.
You bow your head down, gritting your teeth as your body shakes with the weight of your sobs. Your hair shades down over your face, creating a veil around it and preventing anyone from looking directly at you. Your lips part, and from the deepest depths of your throat, you scream.
< … >
Hey baby, Shoko was asking for you.
Sent : 12:06
Saw a cat outside a coffee shop today, thought maybe you'd want a picture of it.
Sent : 15:00
Left you some dinner outside of your door, please eat something.
Sent : 04:17
Movie night tonight?
Sent : 06:15
Pressing two fingers against the side of your phone, you silence it, then tossing the device as far away from yourself as you can. The clatter of the phone against the floor does little to stir you – the comfort of your sheets was stronger than any Cursed Energy, and you'd be damned if you were leaving it.
How long had it been since that day anyway?
Days? Weeks?
Hell -- it could have been months. In truth, you didn't know. The days had started melding together a very long time ago, everything felt the same – nothing was new. Everything felt bleak, like an old movie that you had accidentally left on perpetual repeat.
You turn over in bed, facing the wall. Your eyes feel heavy, but the moment that you close them you know exactly what it is that you'll see. You'll see whatever wisps you have left of her.
Do you even remember what she looks like anymore?
Your chest tightens at the realization, and instinctively your body curls inward. Your knees touch your chest as you adjust yourself into a fetal position, screwing your eyes shut and biting back the sobs as they rise in your throat.
There wasn't a day that went by where you didn't blame yourself. You were a Sorcerer, you were quite literally trained to protect the people around you. But no, you were so focused on convincing her on a situation that she was already decided on – you failed to protect her because of your own selfishness.
God forbid you had lifted your head, even if it was just to sneak a peek at the rest of Tengen's barrier. Would you have spotted him? Wait, of course you would've – Geto had once complimented your ability to keep your head on a constant swivel.
You could've activated your Cursed Technique, you were always the swiftest of your classmates. You could've saved her – Riko would have been fine.
But you didn't do any of that. Instead, you held her shoulders and tried to play mother dearest. It was your tear-filled monologue that got her killed.
"Fuck," you mutter, the dull ache in your chest deepening as you spiral into a pit of your own regret. Your hand comes to bunch up the fabric of your shirt, clawing at it as if it were choking you. "'M sorry..."
You can feel yourself beginning to cry, but your body is unable to produce a fresh round of tears. You whimper quietly, lips parting to release the soft sobs that you had been forcefully holding in your chest. The sheets that cover your shoulders shake in sync with you – but they continue to serve their purpose in keeping you concealed from the world.
Across your room, you can hear your phone buzzing against the ground. Suguru.
How long had it been since you last saw Suguru?
It felt like you were punishing yourself, keeping yourself holed up in your room and limiting your interactions with anyone – Gojo, Geto, and Shoko felt more like figments of your imagination. They felt like strangers to you. And in a way, maybe they were.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at your door. The ringing in your ears dies down, leaving you alone in the silence of your room – you almost wish for the ringing to come back. Any noise was better than none at all, and with the way your mind had been whispering lately, you'd rather an incessant ring.
You turn your head halfway, yet you don't move from the familiar comfort of your bed.
"(Y/N)? Baby, it's me." It's Geto. Fuck, it's Geto.
You don't answer, shifting back to your original position and sighing shakily. Even though every part of you wants to open that door and promptly collapse into his arms, you force yourself to remain rooted to your place. You force your eyes shut, praying that your silence would turn him away.
"It's been – God – I don't even know how long it's been. We're – I'm worried about you," Geto pauses, likely to swallow the growing lump in his throat, "I just want to know if you're okay."
Your lips wobble, and for the first time in days you feel the familiar sensation of tears sliding down your cheeks. Your hands curl around your sheets, tugging them impossibly further around you.
On the floor, your phone buzzes again. For a moment, you wonder just how many unread messages you have. How many were from Gojo? Or Geto? Or Shoko? Or maybe you were just imagining the sounds, maybe they really didn't care at all.
"Please open the door." He sounds so desperate, so broken. The fact that it was your fault that he felt so helpless only added to your already debilitating guilt and regret. Your punishment was making everyone else suffer – you were the reason why everyone was worried. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
And you want to. You want to stand from your bed and open the door, you want to fall into Geto's arms and sit with him in nothing but that comfortable silence that always followed you when you were with him. You craved it – or rather you craved the normalcy of it all.
Selfishly, you don't. You close your eyes and telepathically will Geto to just leave. A little part of you hopes that he won't, but the rest of you wants him to.
You know that he won’t leave though — knowing Geto he was definitely sitting with his back against your door, waiting patiently for you to either respond or let him in.
A shame that you would do neither.
Your hands curl into white-knuckled fists with the strength of your grip, keeping your eyes glued shut and praying — no — hoping that Geto would just leave you to rot.
“Y’know, we can talk about whatever you’re thinking about.”
You sigh shakily, opening your eyes and staring blankly at your wall. He’d never leave you to rot, even if you shoved and begged him.
Talk? What would talking do? Would it bring back the piece of you that was ripped from your hands and shattered like nothing?
Your body turns halfway, ears pricked and patiently waiting for Geto to continue. Shockingly, you want him to keep talking. It’s a nice distraction.
“I don’t know what exactly you’re thinking right now, and I know that you definitely don’t want to delve into it,” Geto pauses to exhale shakily — it makes you wonder if he’s out there crying. "I want to help you, you've helped me through so many rough patches and the fact that you're not letting me help you now...it's killing me."
Go.
Your hands push at your sheets, the cool air from your dorm hugging at your exposed legs. Your body cracks as you stand from your bed, but you ignore the dull ache in your bones. The distance between your bed and the door once seemed like a never ending hallway, one with twists and turns that would throw you off course and make you return to the starting point.
Oddly enough, now that distance seems much shorter.
You walk across your room, stepping past your phone on the floor and pausing just as you reach the door. You stare silently at the wood, eyes drifting down to the doorhandle. You were so close, if you just lifted your hand-
"I love you so much (Y/N). So please, let me help you."
Your eyes fall shut, body curling back from the door. With invisible hands, your sheets call out to you, beckoning you sweetly to return to what was familiar – back to square one.
You shake your head, turning on your heel and lowering yourself to the floor, your back sliding down the door until you're sitting on the floor. Your knees curl up to your chest, arms winding around them in a self-hug as you lean your head back, listening quietly to Geto's shaky breathing on the other side.
< … >
Bzzt. Bzzt.
One year.
You stare blankly down at the reminder, thumb quickly jerking to delete its existence. It had been a miracle enough that you'd made it six months – a year didn't really feel real to you. Not yet at least.
You knew deep down that it would sink in later, when you weren't surrounded by people and when you were sitting in the twisted comfort of your own sadness. But now, you had to act like a person, not a puppet who just happened to wear human skin.
In front of you stands Gojo, Geto, and Shoko. For the better part of an hour, Shoko had been trying to teach both boys about her Reverse Cursed Technique, wanting them to be able to heal themselves so that she wouldn't have to exert herself every time that they returned from missions.
But just like everything else that they did together, Geto and Gojo were about as intelligent as two monkeys attempting to complete a Rubix cube. In any other circumstance, you would have laughed at them and teased them endlessly.
Now?
Now you stared blankly at them, eyes devoid of anything that might have rendered you human. All of those sleepless nights had finally caught up to you, claiming your body like a demon would its unfortunate host. You wanted to crack a smile, prove to them that you had healed somewhat since everything had happened – but they knew just as well as you that it would be another one of the many lies spoken by your tongue.
"C'mon Shoko, you know we can't do this," Gojo complains loudly, his voice an incessant whine as he leans forward, glancing over the rims of his glasses to send a playful glare in Shoko's direction. She rolls her eyes at him, hands holding her hips as she waves a finger in his face.
"Would you stop complaining?" Geto retaliates, reaching a hand over and whacking the back of the snowy-haired male's head. He yelps at the contact, both of his hands cupping the back of his head.
"Ow! (Y/N), come and control him!" Gojo turns to you for salvation, but pauses at the expression on your face. Your lips are downturned in a half-frown, eyes staring at nothing in particular. He glances at Geto, who had also turned to look at you.
"(Y/N)?" he calls out to you. His voice has your head shaking, bringing yourself back to reality and breaking you from whatever trance you had fallen victim to. "Everything okay love?"
You're quick to nod, sending Geto what you think is a smile – but it resembles more of a poor attempt at a smirk. "Fine," you answer quickly. His heart sinks, he wants so desperately to take every bit of pain that you constantly shouldered, but you were so adamant on dealing with everything on your own that he had simply...stepped to the side.
Shoko claps her hands together, effectively redirecting all attention to herself – an action that you were thankful for. It was one thing to be constantly doted on by your boyfriend, but to then drag in both of your best friends? Saying that you felt like a complete burden would be the understatement of the century.
Gojo turns his attention back to Shoko without a second thought; he had never been good with emotions, and watching your downward spiral was something that he just...couldn't help with. He wanted to, God, of course he wanted to. But he lacked the understanding of how to do it.
Geto is hesitant to turn around, not wanting you to think that he was turning his back on you. The last thing that he wanted was for you to suffer in silence, even though that seemed to be the one thing that you wanted. No, he loved you far too much to let you crumble to your own demons. So he gripped his sword in his hand and fought them at your side – no matter how much you kicked and screamed at him to go away.
You sigh shakily, teeth catching your bottom lip as the reminder from your phone flickers across your memory again. One whole year.
Even with a whole year having gone by, that regret and guilt still followed you like a stray dog. The moment that you muttered to yourself, "I'm okay," that dog would nip at you with a force that sent you crumbling to the ground.
You look upward, blinking away the tears that burn the backs of your eyes and focusing all of your attention on the trio in front of you.
< … >
“What do you mean (Y/N)’s gone?” Geto asks with an incredulous raise of his eyebrows, looking at Gojo as if he had sprouted another head.
Gojo inhales deeply, bracing his hands on his knees as a result of sprinting so wildly at Geto once he had heard news of your sudden disappearance.
“(Y/N) left. Shoko said that she tried to get her to stay, but it was no use,” Gojo says breathlessly. Geto shakes his head, not wanting to believe anything that Gojo was saying — but the expression on his face douses Geto with the cold reality that this was really happening. You were gone.
“Where did she go?”
“No idea, she didn’t say a word,” Gojo answers, taking a mental note of the unbridled worry swirling in Geto’s eyes. “We’re going to look for her, right?”
“What do you think?” Geto says in a matter-of-fact tone, already striding past Gojo. The snowy-haired male is quick to follow, falling into step with his best friend.
The silence that hangs over the both of them is tense, neither of them wanting to say anything to the other in fear of further souring the mood.
Geto’s teeth catch his bottom lip, digging down into the supple flesh. His mind wanders, thinking of where you could have gone and just what you could be doing. He should’ve done more to help — he should’ve been there for you just as much as you had been there for him.
How had he let you spiral down that far? He felt like a bystander in a situation where he should have been standing right at your side, he should have been holding your hand just as tightly as you had always held his.
“Hey, there you are,” Geto says softly, smiling so gently at you as you open your door — finally revealing yourself to him after hiding in the shadows for however long.
You remain silent, rubbing a hand over your tear-stained cheeks. Your eyes, so dead and tired, flicker up to meet Geto’s — which soften upon studying your clear cut exhaustion.
“Oh sweet girl,” he whispers, opening his arms to you and embracing you tightly as you step into them. Your face buries into his shoulder, absorbing the familiarity of his hug. “I’m here.”
Your body shakes as another round of sobs wracks through your body, nails biting into Geto’s back. He ignores the stinging sensation your nails leave behind — focusing everything on making you feel comforted.
“I’ll go look this way, you’ll be okay on your own?” Gojo confirms, casting one last glance over his shoulder at Geto.
The dark-haired male nods, his focus solely on finding you and bringing you home. He would be damned if he would leave you alone again — you deserved to have someone to comfort you in the same way that you constantly comforted others.
“Text if you need me ‘kay?” Gojo says, reaching out and lightly pressing his knuckles against Geto’s shoulder. The latter nods, and just like that the tuft of snowy hair disappears into the surrounding crowd.
As Geto walks, he once again allows his mind to wander — thinking about little warning signs that he overlooked. Maybe there was something that you said or did that had a double meaning, yeah, that had to be it.
His eyes glaze over with unshed tears as he desperately searches for you among the unfamiliar faces, all of them a blur as he tries to find you. All he wanted was to bring you home, give you the proper help that you so desperately needed.
If he could just-
“(Y/N)!” There. There’s that head of hair that he had once spent hours playing with. It turns upon hearing the call of his voice — it really is you.
But at the same time…it isn’t you. The (Y/N) staring at him feels different to the (Y/N) that he asked out in the serenity of his school dorm.
This (Y/N) is cold and dead — a walking corpse at best.
You stare blankly at Geto for a moment, eyes silently asking him what it is that he wants from you.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he practically begs, bravely reaching out to hold your wrist, preventing you from curling away from him.
Your eyes momentarily flicker down to his hand, staring at the strain of his fingers before your gaze returns to his — you don’t fail to notice the tears he holds back. You felt awful that you were the reason why he was crying.
“Nothing’s going on,” you answer indifferently. He shakes his head at you, you were lying.
“You can’t really be saying that. You’ve been…you changed.”
“Have you ever stopped to think about why?” you raise an eyebrow at him, voice suddenly laced with a venom that he had never heard from you before. Slowly, his grip on your wrist loosens until he doesn’t hold it anymore, eyes never once leaving yours even as you focus on other things.
“What?” His voice is breathy, a whisper. He doesn’t understand, why were you suddenly being so brash with him? He had only been trying to help you all this time — right?
You remain silent, not knowing how to elaborate without getting emotional all over again. You were a Sorcerer, you were meant to protect. The one person you were meant to protect was gone. And now you could barely live with the consequences.
But Geto just thinks that you’re in mourning. No, no, it’s so much more than just simple mourning.
“Have you ever stopped to think about why I changed?” you reiterate, tilting your head at Geto. He steps forward, keeping the distance between you both as short as he can — he can’t lose you, not again.
Geto mulls your question over in his head, which he then shakes in response. You let out a small sigh through your nose, already feeling that familiar mixture of regret and sadness building in your stomach.
“Do you know what it’s like — to regret everything that you’ve ever done in your life?” you mutter, glancing up at Geto. For the first time, he notices just how dead you truly look. Those bright eyes now dull, your cheeks sunken in, your lips permanently turned downward in a frown.
“Sorcerers are meant to protect people, right? We’re meant to step in and help the ones that can’t help themselves,” you begin, finding your footing and finally vomiting out all of the words that had been building up somewhere in your stomach.
Geto watches silently, not knowing what to say or do. All he can do is listen.
“What the fuck are we meant to do when we can’t save everyone? The ones who can’t protect themselves die, and what are we left to do?”
Geto pauses, realization sinking into his bones. Riko. You blamed yourself for what happened to Riko — how the fuck had he not noticed that before?
He had somewhat of an idea that it was Riko who had caused you to spiral downward, but he didn’t know that it was her death that had turned your entire opinion of being a Sorcerer.
Just how much had Riko meant to you?
“You and Satoru might be okay shouldering that guilt. But I’m just — I’m not,” you say honestly, running your hand through your hair and chuckling dryly. Geto steps forward, reaching for you.
You step back, effectively creating a distance between the two of you. He falters, silently watching.
“(Y/N)-“
“Be a Sorcerer, yeah?” you glance tearfully at him. For the first time in months, you smile, lips turning upward as you nod at him. “Be the protector that people need you to be.”
Geto shakes his head, stepping forward again and silently begging you to come to him.
You don’t.
“Baby. Stop. Just-“ He pauses as he watches you, noticing your body tilting back to follow your backwards steps.
“Be the shield that people need Suguru,” you whisper, voice barely audible over the footsteps that surround you. He shakes his head again, fingers extending to you.
Like a wisp in the night, you vanish into the crowd. Geto’s fingers close around nothing, and his eyes desperately search for you amongst the blurred faces.
But you’re gone, just like that.
And he would never see you again.
"Cleaning up?" Geto asks with a curious tilt of his head, watching as you lift another framed photograph from your bedside table. You smile, turning on your heel.
"Yeah, that and I wanted to replace a couple of the pictures," you answer, gesturing to the photo frames lying face up on your bed. Geto follows your gaze, humming thoughtfully. "Want to help me pick them out?"
Geto smiles, closing the distance between you both and placing a sweet kiss against your forehead. Your arms wrap around his waist, holding him close to you. His eyes wander down to the photograph in your hands – it was one of you, himself, Nanako, and Mimiko.
Nanako and Mimiko are hanging off of Geto's outstretched arms, their lips turned upward in bright smiles. You're standing just in front of Geto, hands hovering beneath the twin girls just in case either one of them were to fall.
"Don't replace that one," Geto says suddenly, reaching a larger hand out and taking the frame from you. He smiles at it, then returning it to your hand. You chuckle breathily, stepping out of his embrace and turning to glance at the other photographs you had laid out on your bed.
"I like that one too. But what about these?"
You receive no answer.
"Sugu?" You turn back to where he had been standing, tilting your head curiously. The space he occupied was empty.
"Mama? Who are you talkin' to?" Nanako peeks her head into your bedroom, her eyebrows pinching together in confusion as she pushes your door open. You still, eyes flickering down to the frame in your hands. Your fingers tighten over it, eyes pricking with tears. "Mama?"
"Nothin' honey," you reply tearfully, smiling shakily at her as you swipe the backs of your knuckles against your eyes.
"It was nobody."
no surprises
cw: angst, geto just makes me so sad bruh idek, post riko arc featuring: suguru geto
a/n: this song is so sad and i feel sad and yeah i dont really know where i was going with this. also i need someone to like super deeply analyze geto and his character and his morals and everything, cuz i don't think i did it right but whatever. lmk how this is !!
"a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal.." ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
'exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume. over, and over, and over again.'
'exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, consume, exorcise, cons-'
"suguru! you got the curse?" you call out.
he slowly turns towards you, a blank look on his face. "yeah."
"hmm.. they don't taste good?" you half-heartedly joke, wiping the curses blood off your hand.
"they're curses, what do you think they taste like?" he questions, tired from the day of missions.
"i don't know, you tell me.." you say, giving him a soft smile.
after he moment of thinking, he responds, "like a rag used to clean vomit."
"oh!.." you pause, "how about we head back?"
wordlessly, he walks past you and heads in the direction of the school's building. .・。.・゜✭・.
"you look so tired, unhappy."
"you okay..?" you ask, as suguru crawls into bed. he never takes more than 15 minutes in the shower, always complaining that you're wasting the water. but recently, he's been in the shower for over an hour. you know that it's a way for him to drown out his worries, but frankly, you feel worried.
he's changed since riko's death. and not for the better.
"long day." he responds, turning away from you.
"hmm.. you wanna talk about it?" you ask, laying down next to him and wrapping an arm around him and pulling him to your chest.
"i'm.." he sighs. "i'm so sick of this. i've had enough of the sorceror life. i know how it'll end."
"it was so much.. pressure. just living. because i was one of the strongest, i had to look out for the weak. i don't get it. humans are the cause of the curses. it''s their own fault. why should we have to protect them from something they caused?! there's no point!"
"i mean, they're causing their own suffering. and i can't stand it anymore."
"i've made up my mind, (y/n).." he sighs, "i'm done."
"well..." you start, "there's always a reason, suguru. i know how you're feeling, and i promise you, it gets better. you just need to pull through."
and he tried, but maybe that wasn't the answer he needed. maybe he didn't need one at all, and just needed someone to listen. because when you woke up, he was gone. and an entire village was massacred.
Back to December
Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader
Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.
Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.
Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)
A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.
Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.
You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.
You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.
You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.
“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.
You’ve been good, busier than ever
"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.
You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.
He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.
Your guard is up and I know why
All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.
“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.
“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.
“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.
“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.
‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.
I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right
But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.
You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”
Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.
After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”
“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”
You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.
Staying up playing back myself leaving
Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.
You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.
That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.
And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times
You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.
You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind
But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.
Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.
Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine
You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.
So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”
To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.
“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”
“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.
“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry
“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.
So if the chain is on your door I understand
“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.
Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.
But this is me swallowing my pride
You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.
Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.
“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.
It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.
Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.
Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”
Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”
Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”
You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”
Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.
I’d go back to December all the time
________________________________________
Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!
(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)
IRREDEEMABLE
Part 4
Love, a concept so complicated to even grasp and yet, every single soul in the universe end up craving it. I have had my share of the cravings, but, news flash, it all resulted in me being left alone stranded. So the concept is now hid safe inside a box. buried deep down somewhere inside, and at times like these I hear the faint screaming it does from the suffocation, all for some acknowledgement. And now, Geto, Love? The one minute he stared longer? Gojo's words kept replaying in my head on my way to find Suguru.
I wouldnt run my thoughts any deeper into this, i mean why should i? what did he do about this? how long has this been going on, and ,oh fuck , thats a pillar and my head is gonna raamm into-, wait no its soft, wait its a hand, a familiar one, shit-
I slowly raised my head to see geto by the vending machine with one can of his favourite drink and the other hand as a barrier to my head and the wall. and yet he doesnt frickin spare me a look, why te hell is his head stooped so low.
Walls are everywhere these days huh?,the audacity to joke around right now without even meeting my eye.
"So youre not even gonna look at me?" I blurt out, unexpectedly helpless in my delivery.
As I see him lift his head up very reluctantly and struggle, i find myself doubting everything gojo previously said, miutes ago.
"Whats up y/n". THE NERVE.
"Didnt take you to be a fuckboi Suguru Senpai, following your best friend's steps is it?"
With a confounded expression I saw him squint his eyes and , well that should be a question then.
"You never called, Geto".
His eyes bulged a bit like he wasnt expecting me to care about the things that we did yesterday. I saw him mumble something under his breath while maintaining the good old strained eyebrows.
"What, you dont care about how i feel now that you slept w me?"
I see his expression waver into immediate shock that desperately needed to set some things straight.
"Y/n..you don't know what you're talking about.. please".
No amount of strained expression from him is helping this mixed signal facade that's happening to me. He takes a deep breathe noticing my baffled expression.
"I do. i do care, more than I've done for anyone else. its just.. by the time you were asleep in my...in my arms, gojo had texted. Soo..it worked. Everything worked out. As intended. Or it didnt, and he came to his senses maybe,finally,else, it doesnt make sense. it makes zero sense. i mean why the fuck would someone not know how to treat you? to treat you shouldnt come as a chore or a result of some challenge, its as natural as breathing air, and idk what was with him all this while, but im sure he realises now, so give him a chance, he'll treat you better I'm sure."
"Is that what you want?"
"What..why..why would it matter, what I think" he visibly gulps, confused.
"It matters to me geto, if you care about me, to know that you like me, I don't know geto you messed with my head, I can't get you out of it...i broke up with gojo."
"What..wait. what?" His face couldn't contain the emotions that rollercoastered through his mind.
"Just say it geto, fucking say it. Do you or do you not like me. Shit, why am I even doing this? " I steer away on my heel as an attempt to hide the tears that are about ruin my mascara, until I feel an immediate grab on my wrist, the same soft hands.
"y/nnn, y/nn....how do i tell you this...you have no idea. not a thing. the way i have craved for you, to be with you, the way i have literally felt my blood boil seeing the way my bestfreind treated you. you have no ideaaa. please dont torment me any more than this, shit im sorry, i know, its not your fault. hell you had no idea how i felt. its just. all you had to do was exist ynnn. the way you aree, the way you smile, hold the hemm of gojos shirt when he failed to pay you the attention you more than deserve, the way you gently hit shoko on her shoulders when you laugh, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way and fuck the way, the way i saw you yesterday, every inch of you, its etched in my memory, by choice. Fuck, I need some water"
I couldn't contain the happiness that bloomed inside me and I had to do something crazy because he looked just too cute.
" for now i can help you moisten your lips I think", I stand on my toes to reach his open mouth, so confused and wary and place the timid but hungry kiss on it, but within seconds he makes sense of things and grabs me by my waist only to land a kiss that lasted longer than the hourly bell that rang twice or thrice after that.
"Aaargh, this...you're tempting me to do something irredeemable again" he breathes with a glistening red lips messy with the stray tints of my lipstick.
"Let's redeem through it this time then."
The smirk on his lips right then looked more promising than ever.
You: but, I love you
Getou: hahaha, oh darling…
You: …please Getou….
Getou: Look at me. I’m utterly insane.
You: so what? That’s not gonna stop the love I have for you
Getou: hmmm fine then
*Getou continues to commit crimes*
You: that’s my baby ♡(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)♡
Gojo/Geto x reader
Chapter 2
The first chapter is up here!
As Always, let me know if there are errors!
( Italian gurl pretending to translate her fanfics in english)ಠ_ʖಠ
BETWEEN TWO FIRES
Chapter 2
Suguru wasn’t just annoyed, he was immensely pissed.
That night, he found your phone number almost by accident.
He had been looking at your profile picture for a while, enjoying your wonderful features, disfigured by the scar he had inflicted on you.
It had been tremendously sad to leave Jujutsu Tech, but he had done it with the knowledge of how rotten that system was.
Of all his fellow warlocks, you and Satoru were the ones he most regretted.
It was something he would never admit, he had to be strong, and not just for himself, but for you.
On the other hand, he knew it, you were such a beautiful and pretty thing, and in the midst of a world of sorcerers and cursed spirits you were like a flower in the winter snow.
Your sweet face spoke for itself, completely in conflict with the shriveled scar. It still looked like a charm.
Was he obsessed with you? Maybe.
He had a feeling that being by your side could hurt you, impregnated you with his disgusting curses.
If he tried to touch you, he was sure he would get you dirty.
Yet the feeling of power that left him this awareness was not unpleasant.
The idea of making you completely his, of ruining you, was one of his greatest perversions.
So, when he wrote to you, and he didn’t get an immediate response, he started getting agitated.
Who were you with?
What were you doing?
Why didn’t you answer him?
What if you changed your number?
As he realized that reacting in such an exaggerated manner made no sense, he heard his room door open.
« Geto-sama...», Nanako had entered weeping, «I had a bad dream».
The blinking lights of the four arrows of a taxi stunned your eyes.
You hated the city, and all the hustle and bustle that followed. Even though you’ve been living in Tokyo for years, you’d never get used to its routine.
You had always lived in a small village adjacent to the sea.
The coast was your home, as was the foamy sea and the sand you loved to tread on barefoot.
Here instead the only thing you could see were the large skyscrapers that were lost in the sky, the noisy cars and the swarming masses of people.
As if it had been a great anthill, Tokyo used to run you over with its worker ants, who, even though it was late, were still around with the briefcase in hand.
It was barely 22:00, the nightclubs were crowded already from nine, and you were still, glued to the screen of your phone, while you carried a smoking cigarette to your lips.
Golden Gai had been a post-war black market and then a brothel, turned into a pub village. It was a great place for young people and for those looking for adventure and some drinking. This traditional "drinking district", consisting of narrow streets filled with dozens of tiny bars, was a tangle of endless signs and lights.
Your decision to show up for the appointment was made after several mental collapses.
You cried an hour in Gojo’s fancy bathtub, and you didn’t stop.
You continued your nervous outburst on your way home, in the kitchen table while you tried to eat a bite of sautéed salmon rice, and on the way to Suguru’s designated location in the message.
You felt so stupid, so emotionally down and pathetic.
You did what you could while trying to cover your red eyes and red nose.
When you cried, your face turned red, lately it was something you couldn’t stand.
You hated seeing the redness peeping out more and more at every tear, not to mention how the corners around your eyes burned.
Your sensitive skin after several hours, could no longer stand the salty and wet liquid of your tears.
What about that scar? You found it disgusting.
A car horn shook you from your thoughts.
You sucked nicotine into one last, needy shot. As you noticed the combustion getting more insistent, you noticed a hand approaching the cigarette butt.
Long, tapered fingers took the cigarette from your lips, leading your eyes to follow it.
«This is one of Shoko’s bad habits».
Your lips tightened, your blood bubbled as your cheeks turned red.
Two obsidian beads peered down at you, not letting you escape.
If only your legs had allowed you to escape from that situation, you would have done it immediately, but the surprise effect had glued you to the pavement.
«Hello», he said it so casually, that for a moment you wondered if he was actually the exact same guy you’d met in school.
Standing straight, you frowned as you watched your last shot fall, and then vanish, crushed under Suguru’s shoe.
«At the end you came, I’m happy», he continued with a smile, carrying his hands in his pockets.
Your feelings were mixed. If in one hand you wanted to throw your arms around his neck, on the other you still felt the weight of the unpleasant events, those that had affected your face smeared with blood.
You hoped he would look at your scar and feel bad. You hoped he would feel guilty, you prayed he wouldn’t sleep at night.
«I am not, I am not happy», you had hissed imitating him, carrying your hands in the pockets of the jacket.
«Oh», he had looked at you more intensely, «I don’t feel like I forced you».
Suguru was not a simple soul to talk to. He was smart, always ready to trick you, and since you weren’t stupid, you avoided responding to his provocations.
«If you have to speak, do it now», your look was intensified.
You assumed from the texts he sent you, he had some issues to sort out.
«Oh, I meant to do it while we were sitting, maybe while having a drink», he kept that mysterious veil on himself, as he always tried to have a monopoly on you and your decisions.
He was manipulative, what did you expect?
«Your fingertips are frozen and your nose is red. You are trembling like a leaf, let's go inside», he had offered you his hand, but you had hit it with an elbow, walking beyond, refusing his kindness and ignoring his care for you.
You know, it was just a trick.
«Ok...», you said frosty.
The place he chose was one of those pubs where music broke your eardrums.
The eavy metal band that sounded, seemed quite influential, you had noticed it by the number of people under the small stage.
The cramped place, too small to hold all those people, made you slightly agitated.
To make matters worse, it was Suguru’s chest colliding with your back.
«Sorry», he had told you leaning his hands along your arms, «they pushed me».
You sighed as your heart was about to explode.
His perfume had not changed over the years, perhaps in addition you only noticed a slight hint of bergamot, lightened by what could be the scent of his shampoo and body wash.
You had swallowed, fortunately the pounding music had the power to cover the sound of your heart.
«Come, I booked a more secluded table», he had whispered in your ear.
You now understood why he chose Shinjuku as a meeting place.
It was known that the neighborhood was the busiest in Tokyo, but at the same time it was known as a red light district.
If you had to mix easily in the crowd, that’s where you had to take refuge in Shinjuku.
And since Suguru was a wanted criminal, it didn’t seem strange.
The pub was poorly lit, with secluded rooms, and it didn’t take much to understand why.
Not when you saw a rundown woman being dragged into one of the private cabins between disgusting kisses.
You followed Suguru’s broad shoulders through the hallway full of rooms, trying to avoid the thirsty looks of men and women now more than shine.
If there was one thing that you could not stand, it was these uncomfortable situations, in fact, when you had preceded Suguru, entering the room, you had taken a breath of relief.
As the sorcerer closed the door, you began to relax your ears, sitting at the foot of a solid wood kotatsu.
Same thing Suguru did, standing right in front of you.
«Are you ok?» while you were taking off your jacket, you had skipped to answer his question.
«What do you want Suguru? After all this time, not even a stupid message, an insignificant call, and now? What happened?» You didn’t want to go around the obvious.
Suguru looked at you, leaning an elbow in the coffee table, and holding his chin on the palm of his hand, he smiled at you.
«I have already told you, things are not left half-»
«I don’t know what you are talking about, Suguru. The more I look at you, the more I get angry».
Geto's hand had approached yours, he had clutched it, bringing you near him.
«I just wanted to see you, Izumi».
«I don’t believe you», you sayed, escaping from its clutches.
«Do you really believe that, after all that you have done, I will be condescending?».
«No, but you could at least let me speak».
His eyes had become darker, a shadow had crept into his features, and for a moment you had a slight fear.
You knew how much Suguru had above your abilities, not for nothing he was a special level, while you had stopped at the first level.
Feeling his aura change, your shadow began to stretch.
«Hold it at bay, I’m not going to hurt you».
«Then change that fucking attitude!» You said, as you tried to calm your dark shadow that was slowly growing on the wall behind you.
«Are you still struggling to contain emotions? Are you afraid? Is that why that thing is so agitated?».
With a fit of rage, caught in the act, you had a hand to the collar of his sweatshirt.
«You are wrong».
«All right», he said, raising his hands as a sign of surrender, «then let’s talk civilly, will you?».
Geto’s eyes were studying you, he was probably the only person in the world to understand your emotions completely.
So when you denied your fear and he went along with it, you knew he did it just to please your pride.
You were afraid of him, yes.
That was the truth, but could he blame you?
He killed an entire village, his parents, and then he was gone.
He was a mass murderer, he had completely lost his mind, and while you had been wondering for years why such an extreme gesture, you had come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to know.
The only ones who saw him last were Shoko and Satoru, but you stayed at Jujutsu Tech, thinking about your sins alone, without anyone knowing.
On that fateful day in fact, Suguru was not alone.
You had joined his mission, lately you saw him always gloomy and sad: maybe he would have liked a little company.
That day where everything changed, in that small and narrow village you were there too, and what did you do to stop him? The only thing you tried to do was to throw yourself on a child’s body to save him, and now, a terrible scar shriveled in your face.
Your greatest guilt, which you still kept secret, was that you couldn’t stop him.
And while he was killing and dismembering, you stood by, covered in blood and fear.
The child looked at you with desperate eyes before dying in your arms, and it was your fault.
Suguru was only seventeen years old, he was gentle, calm, always protecting the weak and always respectful of others.
You never expected to see his degenerate look as he killed and beheaded in cold blood.
The realisation was like a lightning in the clear sky, and even today, in your nightmares you dreamed of his impervious face full of drops of blood returning to your kneeling figure.
«It doesn't matter if you didn't react, Izumi», those words roused you from your intrusive thoughts, taking you back to the walls of the room.
You looked at him, setting your eyes in his.
«It doesn’t matter», he continued, «you couldn’t have done anything».
Suguru had watched your scar break down as your eyes filled with tears.
Those comforting words, though they came from him, were so surreal to you; you had endured your pain alone for five long years, and now hearing the words you always wanted to hear made you feel less guilty.
«Do they know?» he asked you, tilting his head to the side.
You shook your head, wiping your tears with your sweater sleeve.
If they didn’t know you were with Suguru, they didn’t even know that the ugly scar that disfigured your face was his fault.
The makeup you wore melted, leaving you exposed.
You were wondering if he was able to see your imperfections now, as well as the scar.
The small illuminated room didn’t let Suguru miss any of your expressions.
Tears were still burning in the corner of your eyes, and your nose had definitely turned red. You hated that feeling.
The more you thought about what happened, the tighter your stomach became.
«You could have come with me», the statement had left you stunned.
The violet light of the room now gave way to a bright red light, following the RGB change of the lamp.
«Sure, and be labeled as a murderer? Don’t make me laugh Suguru», your sharp words made the deep sea more and more unlivable.
«Yes, but you wouldn’t have kept living like that, would you?» your eyes lowered.
You looked at your hands while you tortured your cuticles. What you had to endure over the years was something you would not wish for anyone.
Even Satoru didn’t know; you hid your bad mood under your mother’s untimely death. This led him to think that the main problem was the disease that took her away from you as well as an oppressive and patriarchal father.
«The offer is still valid», he said, observing you.
«Don’t say shit», you complained, «I have my life to live».
His eyes chained you, they were different from Satoru’s, they put you in terrible awe.
As usual he was unpredictable and you didn’t know what to expect from him.
«Yes? I thought you had devoted yourself more to surviving», his words were sharp as your pride struck you.
«It is more honorable to live this way, than to do it as you are doing it», you had not managed to contain yourself.
«And Satoru needs me».
Geto bent his lips upwards, his hair falling down his shoulders as he moved, «Remember this, Izumi: Satoru doesn’t need anyone, isn’t he the strongest? Unless you mean otherwise».
You stiffened to the allusion, «this Is not your business».
Suguru wrinkled his lips, «Oh~, you opened your legs to him?».
You got up suddenly, slamming your hands in the coffee table, You know what? If you have nothing better to tell me I think that I will go, I do not want to be jerked off by you!».
You took the vest behind you and started getting dressed.
«Sit down», the tone he used did not allow for discussion.
Out of the corner of your eye, you looked at him.
«Why should I?» you challenged him.
«I said, sit down», he didn’t need to raise his voice, he was already intimidating enough while his face was pounding.
When the maid entered the cabin, she had brought two straps, two glasses and a small transparent ampoule. You thought it would contain Saké.
«Are you guys okay?»
«Yes, thank you», the change in Suguru’s face left you stunned.
His eyes closed gently and his lips bent upwards in a sweet smile that reminded you of who he once were.
«Perfect! Make yourself comfortable while choosing what to order-»
«I’ll take a Craft Gin Smash», you had interrupted her, resembling yourself in the soft pillow.
«The same», Suguru said, relaxing his nerves when he saw you sitting.
«Sure, two Gin Smash then», taking in her hands the price lists, the maid vanished behind the sliding door, while the light, passed again to purple.
The silence was interrupted only by the muffled music of the club, you were not going to say anything... what would you say?
«Satoru has been busy», he had provoked you, pouring the contents of the ampoule on the two shot glasses, «beyond this how is he?».
You would have liked to answer badly for the umpteenth time, but taking in your hands the small glass container you had opted for a more mature approach.
You had therefore avoided the arrow, swallowing the first sip of that transparent drink.
« None of us are okay. Since Riko and Haibara’s death, it’s been like an endless dark tunnel. Not to mention the crap you did», your throat burned while you had sent down the second sip.
«Nanami has retired from Jujutsu, Shoko does not speak to me or to Satoru, and then he...», you had restrained your mouth, thinking about the sessions of brutal sex to which he subjected you.
It was handsome, sure, but it was obvious he was using you to ease his upset.
As you thought about the nights you spent being brutally hammered, you wondered if he really wanted your well-being or maybe he just didn’t want his.
You were best friends, your relationship stopped being that, he didn't love you, you were aware of it, and yet day after day, you thought that this relationship was slowly emptying you out.
His pent-up anger was all over you, and when Suguru noticed the small hematoma peeping out of your high-neck sweater, he brought a hand towards your face, raising it towards his own.
Two fingers were running down your neck, stopping over the bluish skin.
«You can say "no", you know this? Satoru does not know his limits, not even those of others».
His voice, sweet as honey, caressed the strings of the soul in pain that you were.
«Why do you worry?» you asked, moving his hand apart, «I must remind you how I got this scar? What Satoru does to me is nothing in comparison».
The sense of emptiness was becoming more and more overwhelming in your chest.
Suguru remained silent, moving his hand back to your injured cheek.
«It suits you», he said, leaving you speechless.
You didn’t believe your ears when he told you something so vile.
«I am convinced it keeps you tied to me, more than you would like».
Saying "I’m sorry," it didn’t seem like it was the sorcerer’s will.
Red with rage, you had tried to respond without succeeding.
While Suguru was showing discomfort, seeing the hematoma in your tender neck, you were reeling at his provocation.
«I have often thought of you in these years».
«That sucks», you said thinking about what he had just said.
«Disgusting?» he repeated, stroking your cheek, hooking his thumb on your rosy lips.
He stroked them, opening them slightly.
«I have not forgotten, and you?».
Your heart had taken a few extra leaps as his thumb worked its way inside your mouth.
His slightly rough finger had come into contact with your tongue.
Looking for it, he began to caress it, giving you several chills.
«Allow me to be beside you», he said, leaning with his other hand over your shoulder.
«Allow me to protect you».
His thumb had wet your soft lips with your own saliva.
«I heard that your mother passed away. Your father is pressuring you, isn’t it? And your work as a sorcerer? I knew that you were going to die a few months ago. Without me you are nothing, you can’t anything, Izumi».
Waking up from the trance, you shook your head, slapping his hand away.
«I know to look after myself!».
You didn’t even wait for your cocktail to arrive, that you took your jacket in your hands, ready to leave.
«You need me».
His eyes were so sharp, you swore he could get past you.
«I’ll be fine this time too, if I get killed, make sure to bring me at least one stupid flower».
Angry, you just opened your mouth without thinking.
It was too much.
You wanted to disappear, you wanted to stop your intrusive thoughts, you hated the way Suguru’s touch and voice made you feel.
It was like a sweet addiction, and yet you knew that if you gave in it would completely wipe you out.
He made you feel pampered and safe, perhaps because no one else knew the truth that tormented you.
But you knew he was a spider ready to lure you into his web.
«I shouldn’t have come», you said, and then snuck through the door.
You thought it was over while you were retracing the corridor.
The music was deafening, the people so many to make you vulnerable and when a hand clinged to your wrist, you almost didn’t release your shadow to slay the victim.
Without realizing what was going on, you found yourself with your back against the wall and a large body blocking you.
Meanwhile, your shadow danced eerily, manifesting the tension you felt. The situation seemed suspended between the impending chaos and the search for a way out that would not endanger the lives of others.
«Come on Izumi, hurt me if you want it».
Suguru's voice.
His perfume entered your brain, giving you an adrenaline rush.
The blood had gone to your head, and you felt your temples beating frantically to the beat of your heart.
«I tried to go easy on you, but you just don’t want to understand, did you?» his nose approached your neck.
«Now stay still, okay?» your body was motionless, your eyes wide, while his mouth was resting in your jaw.
He gave you a wet kiss before he started talking.
«I’m not going to repeat it twice, so listen carefully», your body was stiff under his touch, so much that he began to hurt your spine.
«What-»
«Shut up», he grabbed your side, making you collided with him.
As much as you wanted to answer, you were silent, too agitated to say a word.
«In these days I will write you, answer, I don’t care what you are doing, you will answer».
The threat made you frown, «I won’t do anything you want-»
«Oh, you will», it vigorously pinched you a side, provoking you a long shake of pain.
«You don’t want certain things to be known, do you?» your eyes widened, not believing in the blackmail he had put you in front of.
Was it really the Suguru you always knew? Something told you no, as you listened to his words.
«You will do what I will ask to you, no matter what, you will do it».
You wanted to be stronger to kick his ass right now, but you knew that wasn’t one of the most reasonable options.
The harshness of his words was like a slap in the face.
He broke away from you, allowing you to breathe, while with an indecipherable look he abandoned you along the pub corridor.
You were in so much trouble.
Gojo gets straight to the point🫰🏻🥀
Some SatoSugu stuff ♡
New fanart of this pretty boy (Always pretty, ALWAYS).
FREE NIPPLE!
Full version on Twitter 🍆
Link in bio
Almost
There was always an almost with you and Geto.
Geto x f!reader. Mentions of death. This is fluff to angst. Spoilers for JJK!
Almost holding his hand.
The first year of Jujutsu Tech was interesting to say the least. Getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people you would spend a lifetime with. It was all so sudden. You left your clan, your family behind and started a new life there.
Though after a while you managed to settle down. Your three classmates Shoko, Gojo and Geto were nice to be with. Shoko was calmer than the two and you formed a nice friendship with her faster than with them. She was there from day one, with a friendly smile on her face and a cigarette hanging between her lips.
The smell of cigarettes felt calming after a while. You always knew it was her walking around the corner and it felt comforting.
Geto and Gojo became your good friends a bit later on in the first year. As douchey as they were they understood that you needed time to feel comfortable around them and they respected that. They gave you personal space until you started talking with them more, going on missions together and coming back with tears in your eyes from all of the laughter.
It felt good. In those moments you almost forgot how much you actually missed home. Soon enough these three people became your second family.
And now as you lay on the grassy field at 3AM with Geto next to you, it feels right.
“Couldn’t sleep?” He turns his face to look at you. And as you do the same you think how angelic he truly looked. He was the opposite from Gojo, who had plenty of girls following him around and feeding into his already big ego, but you never really understood why. In your eyes Geto was the best looking guy you’ve seen. His now messy hair is free from the hair tie that always keeps his hair in place. It falls on his face framing it in a way that makes him look like a painting. His dark eyes meet yours as he awaits for your answer.
“Mhm..” you hum and give him a soft smile. “It’s a rough night.” you whisper. “The mission today sucked out my energy, but I just can’t stop thinking about the kids who died in front of our eyes. We almost saved them..” a frown etches onto your face as you sigh. “When I close my eyes that’s all I see.”
Geto shuffles closer to you and your hands touch.
“It’s not your fault.” He calmly states. “It’s life, (L/N). We’re trying to make it better, but you have to remember that we can’t save everyone.”
His hand tries to reach your palm, hold it in his bigger one, but before he can do that..
“Hey, guys!” Gojo’s annoying voice screeches. “You should’ve told me you’re having a slumber party or something.”
When he almost asked you out.
Geto was pacing around his dorm room. His hair is in a messy bun, he’s slightly irritated and you can tell by the way his eyebrows are slightly arched. He has a mean look on him and Gojo is confused as he has never seen his friend like that.
At first the white haired male doesn’t want to interfere as his friend looked out of it. ‘It’s like his whole family died’ he thinks as he keeps staring at Geto.
“Just calm down.” Gojo grins. “I’m sure everything will be fine. She likes you back for sure, dude. The way she looks at you? Like you hung the moon and the stars. Just believe in yourself, Suguru.”
“You don’t understand, Satoru. She’s different. I don’t want to ruin whatever we have.” His pace becomes faster. “I really care about her. I want her in my future. But what if she doesn’t see me like that? I can’t imagine losing her.” He frowns.
Gojo groans and stands up from Geto’s bed. He walks up to his friend and puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it in reassurance.
“She likes you. You just have to calm down.” Gojo smiles warmly at his friend, supporting him. “I can see it with all of my eyes.”
Geto hits Gojo’s shoulder and both of them laugh. It doesn’t feel tense anymore.
Though no matter how long Gojo stayed in his room, Geto never got the courage to ask you out. Especially not after he saw you through his window. Laughing at what Nanami said.
When he almost kissed you.
“Ugh.” Geto groans as he looks at his notepad, slowly losing his hope to understand the subject. “This is bullshit.” He throws the pen on the table and rubs his eyes in frustration.
“You think?” You sarcastically roll your eyes while trying to comprehend what you were even reading right now.
“We’re failing this, (L/N).” He sighs and closes his notepad, putting it back in his bag. “I’m done with this. I don’t care anymore. Literally could give less of a shit.”
“I get it.” You smirk and stretch also giving up on understanding the topic of math. “It’s like this isn’t even real. Who created this theory?”
Geto stands up from the chair that he was sitting on and walks towards where you were seated on the carpet in the middle of your dorm room.
“Wanna do something else?” He raises a brow. “Like.. Watch a movie?”
“I don’t have any new ones.” You answer him quickly. “Unless you want to rewatch the same old five cassette tapes I have.” You say already knowing his answer. He lets out a huff and falls into your bed groaning mumbling something about how boring it is.
You grin and stand up shuffling towards the bed and fall onto his body and he gasps as he feels the weight of someone else’s body on top of his. He starts whining and you start laughing. The room erupts with noises as he starts an argument that you’re not even participating in. It feels fresh. It feels like spring when nature is reborn again. It feels warm and inviting.
As the laughs die down you to lay next to each other, looking at each other’s faces and studying them. He smiles at you softly noticing how your cheeks are dusted in pink. He reaches out and softly, as if you were made out of glass, he follows your features with his thumb. As if he was trying to remember how your face felt. It felt like he was an artist and you were the art.
He let’s out a noice of satisfaction and his grin gets bigger. He slowly starts to inch towards your face. You look into his eyes, feeling like your heart will soon jump out of your chest. Your lips are millimetres apart, but before they can collide, loud noises can be heard from the outside.
You two jump off of the bed in a rush.
Someone was attacking Jujutsu Tech.
When he almost..
Your heart is breaking. It was stupid. So so stupid. Your hands reach into your hair and you swear you could pull everything out. Your skin felt itchy and your stomach felt like it had butterflies trying to dig their way out.
It was crushing you. Your whole life you knew and had fell apart in a few hours. As you laid in your bed, holding yourself, trying to keep yourself from falling apart, your window opens.
You don’t even need to lift your head up to know who it was.
“I’m sorry.” Were the first words you heard. “I wish things could be different.” He keeps on talking, while you stay quiet. Only broken sobs were heard from your laying body. “In another life we will be married and raising five children.” Suguru laughs bitterly, walking up to your bed. He sits down next to you and takes you in his arms. He wipes away your tears. "But the world we live in now, isn’t so kind to people like us."
“Five kids with you doesn’t sound so bad..” you whisper in tears “I hope that’s true.. And that in another lifetime things are different.”
Suguru lets out a soft chuckle, looking into your eyes. “Of course it’s true. I’m sure one of them will look just like me.” He gives you a warm embrace, feeling your tears on his chest. “Please don’t cry (Y/N), you’re making my heart ache.”
“You’re the one to say that.” Your voice breaks. “Why.. why are you choosing that path?”
“(Y/N)..” he hugs you tightly as if he always wants to remember the feeling of you laying on his chest. “Our paths are way too different. I’m sure you’ll find all of the answers on your own.” He smiles. “I can’t stay for long. They’re looking for me already.” Suguru leans in and for the first time your lips touch. Though rather than giving you joy it felt like he was taking everything away from you. It was melodramatic. He came to say goodbye and took your heart with him. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and before you can do anything, he leaves. And as you lay in bed you realised that not only did he take your heart he also took away the warmth of summer and spring and left you alone with the coldness of winter.
As he leaves the grounds of Jujutsu Tech he stops for a second and looks back. With a sigh he turns around and leaves.
When he almost stayed.
What’s your favourite scary movie?
Ghostface!Geto x f!reader
Your ex was always a bit weird, but you still loved him. After breaking up you went to your first halloween party with your friends. What could go wrong?
Warnings: death, blood, horror?, crazy Geto, swearwords, maybe a tiny bit suggestive? Geto is an asshole.
Around 1.6k words
English is not my first language and I did not re-read this. Spelling mistakes?
You stand in front of the bedroom mirror looking at yourself. The costume fit you well, hugging all the right spots. You’ve never looked hotter. Shoko, your friend which somehow managed to drag you into this mess, whistled behind you.
“You look good.” she smirked as she took out the last cigarette from her beat down box that looked like it was run over by that stupid bus that takes you to university. “You should put on those white thigh high socks and then I’ll spray you with some blood.”
“Hopefully it’s fake.” you roll your eyes and smirk at the med student. “I don’t want any of your study rat’s blood on me.”
“You’ll find out afterwards.” Shoko says sarcastically and leaves the room while the smell of cigarettes stays right there with you and travels all the way to her room.
You let out a sigh as you fix your cheerleader uniform and then walk up to a drawer, starting to look for those white thigh high socks. You hum a tune as you finally take them out, putting them on and then on top of them you put on your worn out converses that you don’t mind spraying with fake blood. Shoko steps back in the room and before you can even react you feel something cold, wet and sticky splash onto your body.
“What the fuck, Shoko?!” You squeal as you turn to look at your friend. She was already standing there with the biggest grin and then you feel more of the substance hitting your body. “Bitch!?”
She just laughs.
“Finally you look perfect.” She says and takes the last hit of her cigarette before putting it out in an ashtray you left for her in your room. You bought it when you went to Paris with your ex. You grimace at the memory and shake your head.
“Gojo is coming with us.” She says as she looks at her phone. Funnily enough, she was a bloody nurse for halloween. Said it was an easy costume as she already had all of the clothes she’ll never use again from previous years.
“Will he be there?” You ask with a slight tone to your voice.
“Don’t know. Gojo didn’t say and I didn’t ask.” She shook her shoulders and took you by your hand. “C’mon let’s go. Gojo’s waiting outside.”
“Already?” You raise an eyebrow as you follow her out.
-
The same second you stepped into the party, Gojo was already gone. He was dressed up as Jack Frost and you only rolled your eyes as he ran after the first hot girl he saw. Shoko on the other hand stayed with you for a while but then left to look for someone who had cigarettes and wanted to share. So you were left all alone standing in the stupid party you didn’t even want to come to.
You saw a few familiar faces here and there, no one you were too close with. Though it was quite okay. At least you weren’t stuck in your room, depressing over your ex-boyfriend.
You fix your skirt as you take a step towards the kitchen. Your throat was dry and you wanted another beer. As you walk into the kitchen the music dims down behind you. Whoever was throwing this party was rich. Everything was neat and expensive. Even the fridge was way bigger than necessary. You smirk as you notice the note on the fridge informing you that instead of ice, there was wine in there. You take a glass and pour yourself some. But before you can take a sip something stops you. A sound. A scream.
Someone was screaming out of pain. Your eyebrows furrow as you slowly get closer to the door. Was that just a part of this party? After all it was halloween. But before you can check it out, someone touches your shoulder and you drop the wine. You let out a scream and turn around to see Gojo towering over you with the biggest smirk.
“You asshole!” You point a finger at his chest while he just laughs.
“You should’ve seen your face! It was so funny.” He wipes off tears from his eyes. “I should’ve taken a-“ suddenly he goes quiet and his eyes widen.
“Satoru?” You ask softly before looking down at his stomach. It was bloody. And the blood spot was getting bigger while something sharp was sticking out. Suddenly it was removed and Gojo opens his mouth for a second. But all that could be heard was a gurgling sound. Blood spills out of his mouth and his body goes limp, falling onto the floor. Once where was his body, stood a tall masked and hooded figure.
Without a word you start running as fast as you could. As you leave the room you see more dead bodies laying around as people try to leave the house, boarding the doors and pushing each other. You start running towards the stairs to the second floor. Maybe you could jump out the window. It wasn’t the safest plan but there was no other option. You heard your shoes hit the floor as you run up the stairs, opening doors of random rooms. You see a big window in one and you smile in victory as you run to it. You start opening it and then look down. It was quite a fall but you’d survive. Maybe strain something or break a bone in the worst case scenario. Or in the best one, after all you don’t want death.
One of your legs go through the window, but before you could jump someone grabs onto your hair and pulls you back. You let out a terrifying scream out of fear and pain and feel something sharp next to your throat. You try not to squirm too much as the sharp tip of the blade was touching your neck.
“Hey.” A deep voice that sounded robotic says. “What’s your favourite scary movie?”
“I don’t watch scary movies.” You answer in a whisper, too scared to move.
“You have a boyfriend, beautiful?”
“Why is this how you want to ask me out on a date?” You spit the words out this time in a panic, thinking about Shoko. Was she dead? Did she manage to get out? Suddenly Gojo’s dead body lingers in your mind and tears well up in your eyes.
“Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend?” He asks again getting closer to your ear.
“No.”
He throws you onto the bed and laughs. His gloved hand grabs onto the end of the mask and pulls it up. And suddenly you’re met with the brown eyes your so familiar with. They’re wide with lust and adrenaline as he looks at you with a big creepy smile. If none of this was happening - you would think he looks quite hot. But now you’ve never been more scared of your ex.
“Awe. You never looked for anyone else. So cute. Such a good girl.” He smirks as he steps closer to you.
“Y-you.. You killed Gojo?” You couldn’t believe it. Why would Geto kill his own best friend?
“He was getting too close to you for my liking.” Suddenly he pressed the blade into your thigh, slashing it a bit and staining your white thigh highs with more blood. This time though, it wasn’t fake. You let out a whine out of pain and he shuts you up with a kiss. “You belong to me. Don’t you ever forget that.” He whispers into your lips and brings the knife to your throat.
“Please.. Please don’t kill me.” You ask while tears fall down your face and he just chuckles wiping them off. His hands were stained with blood and while touching you he was also staining you with the blood of your innocent friends.
“You’re so pretty when you beg.” He grins. The tip of the blade reaches your shirt and he starts cutting it open. “Y’wanna know why I killed them all?” He hums. “Because I fucking hated them. I hated them all. Stupid monkeys.. So filthy and stained by the world. And I hate you too. Oh you have no idea how much I fucking hate you.”
“Suguru..” you let out a chocked sob.
“Shh.. shut up.” He grabs your face, squishing your cheeks making your lips pout. “You’re so pretty, but so fucking dumb. If you-“
Sirens of police were heard outside and Geto smirks as he steps away.
“If you tell anyone. I’ll kill every single person you love. And then.. I’ll kill you.” He puts his mask down and the robotic voice is back again. “By the way.. You look so hot in that costume.”
And then he’s gone again as you lay in the bed all alone and bloody, crying.
Extra:
You were laying on the couch in the living room. It’s been a few weeks after the incident. Shoko was safe. She was the one who called the police as she was outside for quite a while, smoking a cigarette. Now she was in school as you were left at home alone.
The phone rang and you lazily picked it up.
“Hello?” You say softly, as you were laying really comfortable and almost falling asleep.
“(Y/N). What’s your favourite scary movie?”
Breaking up is hard to do!
synopsis: breaking up with the jjk men.
⚝characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami
⚝content: heavy angst, gaslighting(Gojo's), depression (Suguru's), mutual breakup(Nanami's)
⚝wc: 3.5k
Satoru Gojo
“Yeah so then Yuji popped out of the crate and surprised them all! You should’ve seen it baby!” Satoru wheezes holding his stomach as he recalls the event from the day.
No matter how hard you try though, you can only muster a small smile.
It had become really hard to do much else recently. With the weight of the hundreds of tasks at work taking its toll. Satoru looks over at you, waiting for a laugh—but it doesn’t come.
“Hellooo? Everything alright princess?” He questions giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
“Mhmm!” You nod.
He looks at you for another moment, unreadable expression on his face. Satoru shifts, clearly expecting more from you. “You sure? You’ve been quiet tonight. That’s not like you,” he says, his voice still light, but there’s a hint of curiosity now.
You try to hold back the frustration, but it bubbles up anyway. “I’m just tired, Satoru.”
“Tired? Seriously?” he mutters, pulling his hand away. “You work, what, a nine-to-five? You act like you’re running yourself into the ground.”
You blink, taken aback by his dismissive tone. “Satoru, it’s not just about the hours. It’s everything piling up, and—”
“Piling up?” He cuts you off with a scoff, already reaching for his phone. “Why didn’t you just say something sooner? You know I could’ve hired someone to handle that for you. I’ve got the money. You shouldn’t be stressing over... whatever this is.”
The words sting. You knew his mind would go there. It always does—like money could just make the exhaustion disappear, like hiring someone to take care of the smaller details would magically solve everything.
“It’s not about the money, Satoru.” you snap, trying to hold onto your patience. “I don’t need someone else doing my job for me. I just... I need you to listen.”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Listen? What do you expect me to say? You’re tired. I get it. But don’t act like you’re drowning when I could have fixed this a long time ago. Hell, I could’ve bought you time off or flown you somewhere. You're sittin' here sulking like I can’t take care of things.”
You clench your fists, the exhaustion now compounded by frustration. “It’s not about you fixing things, Satoru. Sometimes I just need support—not your money.”
He stares at you, eyes narrowing. “Right. So you want to feel miserable instead of letting me help. That’s real smart, princess.”
Your heart pounds in your chest as you shove clothes into your bag, the sound of zippers and drawers slamming echoing through the room. You can feel Satoru’s presence behind you, hovering, but you don’t stop. You can’t. Not after that.
“C'mon, princess.” he says, his voice exasperated, like he’s the one who's supposed to be annoyed. “What are you doing? Where do you think you’re going?”
You don’t answer, your hands moving faster, yanking more clothes off hangers, ignoring the sting behind your eyes. You’re so angry you can barely breathe.
“I’ll book us a trip,” Satoru tries again, a hint of desperation creeping into his usually arrogant tone. “How about Paris? We’ll stay at that five-star hotel you like, the one with the private balcony. You love that place.”
Your jaw clenches. “This isn’t about a vacation, Satoru,” you snap, stuffing the last of your things into the bag. “It’s not about your money or your fancy hotels.”
“Then what is it about?” he shoots back, his voice rising with frustration. “You’re acting like I haven’t given you everything. "What more do you want?"
You freeze, bag halfway zipped, your body trembling as you turn to face him. His icy blue eyes are wide, confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but you’re beyond caring. “I want you to see me!” you shout, the words tearing out of you, louder than you intended. “I don’t need you to throw money at the problem! I need you to actually understand what I’m going through!”
Satoru stares at you, speechless for once. His mouth opens, but no words come out. He looks almost... shocked, like he can’t comprehend that his money, his status, can’t fix this. That he can’t fix this.
“Do you even care?” you ask, your voice quieter now, but no less angry. “Do you care about how I feel? Or is it just easier for you to throw cash at me until I stop complaining?”
He’s silent, his gaze hardening as he crosses his arms. “I’m trying to help. What else do you want me to do?”
“I want you to listen!” You throw your hands up in frustration, feeling more alone than ever. “I don’t want your money. I don’t want trips or fancy dinners. I want you to care about me, Satoru. Not just the idea of me.”
His lips press into a thin line, but he says nothing. The silence is louder than any of his words.
As your hand grips the doorknob, ready to leave, Satoru’s voice cuts through the silence, sharp and bitter.
“Right, run off to Shoko’s.” he scoffs, his arms crossed defensively. “You always do this, don’t you? The moment things get tough, you bolt. Guess it’s easier to complain to her than actually deal with me.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, stopping you in your tracks. You turn slowly to face him, disbelief clouding your vision. He’s standing there, arms folded, arrogance in his posture.
“I always do this?” you repeat, your voice trembling with anger. “I’ve stayed through everything, Satoru!"
“You’re just like Suguru.” Satoru spits out, the words dripping with bitterness and desperation.
Your hand freezes on the handle. You weren’t expecting that. Slowly, you turn to look at him, and the mask of arrogance has cracked. His eyes are wild, wide with something close to panic. “Running away the moment things get hard,” he continues, his voice shaking slightly. “Is that it? Just gonna leave like he did?”
Your heart skips a beat, anger fading for a moment as something else stirs inside you. You’ve seen Satoru angry before, frustrated, even cold—but this? This is different.
“That’s not fair.” you say quietly, though the anger still simmers beneath the surface. “I’m not leaving because things are hard. I’m leaving because you’re not listening.”
Satoru’s eyes narrow, his lips pressing into a hard line. Then he snaps, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade, sharp and cold. “Well, fine. Go. I survived him abandoning me, I’ll survive you too.”
His words sting, burning through the air with a finality that makes your breath hitch. It’s a challenge, a defense—his way of masking the fear that’s clawing at him from the inside out. He’s pushing you away before you can leave, just like he’s done with everything else that’s threatened to crack his carefully controlled world.
You stand there, frozen for a moment, staring at him as his walls rise higher, shutting you out. This is what it’s come to. He’s too scared to let you in, too scared to admit that you leaving isn’t something he can just survive—that it’s something that terrifies him.
But he won’t say it. He won’t ask you to stay.
And that’s when you know.
Suguru Geto
You rest under the comfort of your blanket. How many days have you been in this bed? Three days? Four?
The world was just too much right now, and your room was the only security available. It had been a week since Suguru vanished without a word, leaving behind nothing but unanswered questions and broken trust. Principal Yaga’s words still echoed in your mind—a whole village slaughtered, his parents among the dead.
And not even a text.
You weren’t sure if he was even alive, maybe it would be better if he wasn’t. At least then you wouldn’t have to come to terms with the fact that the love of your life was now a wanted killer.
You took another tissue from the box, blowing into it and tossing the crumpled mess into the garbage can.
Satoru hadn’t responded either, was he okay? Did he know?
Your mind screamed for silence, for the thoughts to stop, but they kept coming, relentless.
“Angel?”
That voice… no it couldn’t be. You lower the covers from your face.
It was
“Hi baby...” his normally soothing voice does little to alleviate the ache in your chest.
“You…” your voice barely a whisper, threatening to break. “I thought you were dead.”
He moves closer, his footsteps barely making a sound on the floor, and you finally take him in. Despite everything, despite the horrors you’ve been told, he looks… normal.
How could he look so much like the Suguru you knew, the Suguru you loved, when everything inside of you was shattered?
Was this the same man who held you close? Whispered sweet nothings in your ear—promised to protect you with his life?
“It’s me, (Y/N).” he says softly, his voice cutting through the silence as if he had read your thoughts.
The tenderness in his tone feels like a knife twisting in your chest. How could he say that—so casually, so easily? Like everything was normal, like your world hadn’t come crashing down around you. You blink, trying to force the tears back, trying to find the right words, but nothing comes.
“Are you?” your voice is small, barely more than a whisper. Doubt lingers in every syllable.
He doesn’t respond to your question. Instead, his gaze softens, and without a word, he pulls the covers off of you. The cold air rushes over your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth you had buried yourself in, and for a moment you flinch, instinctively clutching the blanket before you let it slip from your fingers.
His eyes trace over your fragile form, and there’s something in them—a flicker of sympathy, regret, even—but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s the reason for your downward spiral. He knows it too. The weight of it presses on him, though he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he moves with a gentleness you hadn’t expected, sliding his arms under you and lifting you up as if you weighed nothing.
You want to protest, want to ask what he thinks he’s doing, but you’re too tired, too drained to fight. So you let him carry you. His arms are steady, and despite everything, you can’t help but melt in his embrace.
He takes you into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling the space as he sets you down gently. You can feel the cool tile under your feet as he kneels in front of the tub, turning the faucet on and testing the temperature.
You had so many things you wanted to say. You wanted to yell at him, curse him, ask him why. But you couldn’t.
He dips his hand under the stream, adjusting the temperature until it’s just right. His movements are deliberate, methodical, as if this is the only way he knows how to show you any kind of care right now.
You stand there, numb and silent, watching him. The man who destroyed your world, now kneeling before you, acting as though he can piece it back together with something as simple as a bath. It feels absurd, almost cruel, but at the same time, you don’t have the strength to stop him.
Suguru rises to his feet, his presence towering yet calm as he began to undress you. Gentle hands pulling his t-shirt off of you, the one you had been clinging onto for days.
His hands brush lightly against your skin as he lifts the shirt over your head, sending a shiver down your spine.
He had seen you in this state before, many times. But this….this was different.
Suguru guides you to the shower, washing your body with a gentleness you missed so deeply.
You close your eyes, letting him take care of you, even though you don’t understand why or how he can. The silence between you grows heavier with every passing second, filled with words unspoken and emotions too tangled to sort out.
Finally, you speak, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water. “Why are you here, Suguru?”
His hand pauses for a moment, the washcloth resting against your skin. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, but when he answers, his voice is low, steady, like he’s speaking more to himself than to you.
“Because I….I love you” His voice almost too quiet, as if he’s afraid to say the words out loud.
“Then why, Suguru?” your voice trembles, almost breaking under the weight of your next words. “Is it true? You killed those people?”
The washcloth falls from his hand, splashing into the water as the silence between you deepens. He doesn’t speak right away, and the hesitation in his silence is an answer in itself.
You swallow hard, the air thick with the weight of the truth you already know but can’t bear to accept.
“They were… in the way,” he finally admits, his voice low, almost hollow.
You step out of the shower, the warm water sliding off your skin in slow rivulets. Without thinking, you reach for the towel, wrapping it tightly around yourself like armor.
This isn’t the man you loved, the one who spoke of protecting the weak, of valuing life. Yet, there’s something so heartbreakingly familiar in the way he says it—like a twisted version of the Suguru you knew, now wrapped in darkness.
“But those were people, Suguru,” you say, your voice fragile, as if you’re trying to reach the man you once knew beneath the monster he’s become. “Innocent people. How could you…?”
He takes a deep breath, stepping closer to you, his hand brushing against your skin, cold and distant. “Because this world is broken.” he murmurs. “And I need to fix it. I had to do it. Can’t you see that? We—sorcerers—we’re meant for something greater. And they… they were holding us back.”
You shake your head, tears brimming in your eyes. “I don’t understand, Suguru. I don’t understand any of this.”
He steps closer, his hand cupping your face gently, as though trying to reassure you with his touch. "Come with me." he whispers, his voice softer now, pleading. “Run away with me. Together, we can build something new. You don’t have to be a part of this broken world anymore. We can leave it all behind.”
Before you can respond, his lips press against yours, a kiss that’s both gentle and urgent, as though he’s trying to pour every unsaid word, every plea, into this one moment. It’s the Suguru you remember—the Suguru who once made you feel safe, loved.
But the reality of who he’s become crashes down on you.
You pull away, your hands pressed firmly against his chest, creating a wall between you. “No.” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I can’t.”
For a moment, Suguru just stands there, staring at you, his dark eyes searching yours for something—some kind of understanding, some sign that you’ll change your mind. His hand lingers on your cheek, his touch softer now, almost hesitant, as though he’s trying to hold on to whatever connection is left.
But then, slowly, he withdraws, his hand falling back to his side. He straightens up, his expression hardening as he steps away from you, giving you the space you so desperately need. The softness in his eyes fades, replaced by the cold determination you’ve seen before.
“You’ll see,” he says, his voice quiet, but there’s a sharp edge to it now. “One day, you’ll understand. When you see what I’ve seen, when you finally understand the truth about this world—you’ll come around. I know you will.”
His words hang heavy in the air, and without another glance, he turns and walks toward the door, leaving you standing alone, trembling in the silence.
Nanami Kento
Kento was an honest man. There was nothing he ever kept from you. Other people might view him as a hard shell, but you could read him like a book.
So when he came to bed that night, holding you just a little tighter than usual—you knew something was up.
You shifted slightly in his embrace, his grip tightening instinctively as if he feared you might slip away.
“Kento?” you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness of the room.
“I’ve decided to talk to Gojo tomorrow.” he said quietly, his voice steady but with a hint of resolve. “I want to return to being a sorcerer.”
The words hung in the air, sinking into you like lead. You stiffened, a sharp sting blooming in your chest as you processed his decision.
“Are you seriously considering this?” Your voice trembled with a mix of hurt and disbelief. “You know what that life entails. You’ve seen the consequences. Are you really willing to go back to that danger?”
Kento’s silence was heavier than any response he could have given. His arms, though still holding you close, seemed distant now, as if they were reaching out from across a chasm of uncertainty.
“I’ve thought it through,” he said finally, though his tone lacked the conviction he tried to project. “I need to do this for myself. I can’t keep pretending I’m satisfied with where I am.”
The last words echoed in your ears their weight sinking deep into your heart. “So you’re not satisfied with me?” you whispered, barely able to speak past the knot forming in your throat.
Kento’s eyes widened in shock. “No, that’s not what I meant—”
“Then what is it, Kento?” you demanded, frustration and hurt sharpening your words. “We have something good here. You have a good job. You left Jujustu High for a reason! What about Haibara—”
At the mention of Haibara, Kento’s face hardened. His eyes, which had been searching for the right words, now burned with anger and frustration. “Don’t.”
Your eyes widen at his tone. He sighs, trying to catch himself. “This…isn’t about him, or his fate. It’s about my own path, my own choices. You think I’m risking everything without knowing the cost?”
“And what do you expect me to do, Kento?” Your voice cracked, raw emotion rising as you slid out of bed, unable to lie still any longer. “Sit at home and worry about you? Not knowing if you’re going to come back in one piece? I can’t live like that! I can’t live every day with the fear that you might not come back, that you might be hurt or worse?”
The silence that followed was suffocating. You paced the room, your emotions boiling over, while Kento sat still, his gaze following you but offering no solace.
“You’re asking me to accept a life where every day is a gamble with your safety!” You stopped, turning to face him, your chest heaving with emotion. “How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to pretend everything’s okay when the reality is that you might not come back to me? This isn’t just about you, Kento. It’s about us, our future!”
Kento ran a hand through his blond locks, frustration etched into every line of his face. “I’m not asking you to pretend it’s okay. I’m asking you to understand that this is something I need to do for myself, even if it means risking everything.”
You blinked, tears blurring your vision as his words sank in. “And what if everything we have is the cost?”
The question lingered, echoing in the space between you. Kento rose from the bed, standing tall before you, but the weight of the moment seemed to bow his shoulders.
He stepped closer, his hands trembling slightly as they cupped your face. His eyes, filled with a deep sadness, searched yours, looking for understanding that he knew might never come. “I love you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You need to know that.”
You shook your head, your voice breaking. “But that isn’t enough… is it? It never will be…”
There was a heavy silence between you, the weight of your words pressing down on both of you.
“I… can’t watch you throw your life away, Kento.”
He took a deep breath, the sound heavy with resignation. "Then… we’ve both made our decision."
His hands, which had held you with such tenderness, felt distant as you pulled away. You took a step back, a sob catching in your throat.
He opens his mouth, but no words come out with a trembling breath, he stepped forward and gently pulled you into his arms. The embrace was tender, filled with the weight of finality.
He buried his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent one last time as if trying to imprint it into his memory. The warmth of his body, once a comfort, now felt like a dagger in your chest.
“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his voice strained. The words were barely audible, but the sentiment hung heavy in the air.
Kento lingered for a moment, his hand sliding from your back to gently cup your face. His thumb brushed away the tear you hadn’t realized had fallen, and his expression softened with a promise you weren’t sure either of you could believe.
“I’ll come back,” he whispered, his voice strained but resolute. “Somehow… I’ll find my way back to you. One day.”
You clung to him for a moment longer, feeling the ache of goodbye in every fiber of your being, before he slowly pulled away. Leaving you.
let today be forever (because tomorrow never comes)
@dearstarlight asked;
hiya :> if the drabble game is still open, could I request for “I’ll wait for you forever” - stargazing - jujutsu kaisen?
synopsis; goodbyes always comes faster than you would imagine.
pairing; geto suguru x reader
content; angst, manga spoilers, established relationship, some fluff, hurt/no comfort, gender neutral reader
word count; 1.1k
a/n; well i got a teeny bit carried away with this one and made it a short oneshot. oops.
Forever may seem like a long time, but for the right person, you were sure time flies.
The time since you met Geto seemed to only reinforce this idea. Sometimes you swore it still felt like you had just met yesterday, even though you couldn’t even count the number of months you’d known him on your hands anymore.
“Three weeks, right? You come back before New Years?”
“Yep,” you told him. “I’m gonna miss being able to talk to you whenever I want.”
Geto chuckled, “I’ll text you when I first wake up in the mornings and try to catch you before you go to bed.” He wouldn’t say it aloud, but he was gonna miss your excessive texts as well; he found them oddly charming.
The sentiment made you smile, and you laid your head back to look up at the stars again. It was a good night to look at them; the sky was clear and you swore you could see more than usual. They almost seemed close, like you might be able to reach out and brush your fingertips against them, even though they were miles and miles and miles away.
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