Incorrect F1 Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Seb after getting social media : Lance what is a dilf? I keep seeing people call me one and I don't know what it is.
Lance : uh........*panicing*
Lance in the grid kids GC in distress : Seb is asking me what a dilf is what do I do?????? HELP!!!!!!
Seb introducing his grid kids:
Seb: This is Mick, he's my sweet little angel baby,
Mick: *waving while smiling like a sweet baby* Hallo!
Seb: and these are Lance and Charles, they're my chaos gremlins.
Lance: *offended noises of indignation* Hey! we're not-
Charles: *right beside Lance looking down in mild shame* No, no he's right.
Fernando looking for Esteban: Where the hell is he?! He's been missing for 3 hours now!!
Otmar finding a sleeping Esteban who managed to fit his entire 186cm body into a little cubby: HOW THE HELL??????
Lance : Hey you guys wanna see how confused we can make the older drivers?
rest of the grid kids: Yeah!
*the next day while walking into the paddock*
Lance: No, like it slaps!
Esteban: right! like no cap, 10/10 would recommend!
Mick: like it made me a whole snack!
Lando: Snack?! more like a whole ass meal! Like will you ever take an L??
older drivers: ???????
Nando: what but they have caps on?
Seb: Why do they wanna eat Mick?
Checo: was someoned slapped?
*Seb batting his eyes giggling at everything that Michael says*
Nico: *scoffs* why is he acting so ditzy and sweet in front of an older driver when he's such a brat.
Jenson and Mark: *Having intense flashbacks to when they first met Nico*
Rookie Lando: *whispering to himself* Hi! I'm Lando, I'm 19 years old, and I like girls.
Carlos: Hi! I'm Carlos I'll be your teammate!
Rookie Lando: *Malfunctions* 19! I'm like girls, I'm Lando years old, I Hi. *Dies internally*
Carlos: * panting heavily and very panicked* Mattia! We lost Charles! We've looked everywhere we can't find him! You need to do it!
Mattia: *sighs* SEBASTIAN VETTEL SUCKS!!!
Angry Lance holding a crow bar: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU SON OF A BITCH?!?!?
Angry Charles with a baseball bat: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT OUR DAD?!?!?!
Angry Mick holding a blowtorch: SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!!!
A Petrified Mattia: Where did they get those things?!?!?! Charles come on you need to get in the car!
Lance being dragged away by Seb: YOU BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN MOTHER FUCKER!!!!
Mick also being dragged away by Seb: SEE THIS BLOWTORCH?! I'LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH IT IF YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.
grid kids playing hide and seek
Most of them have already been found, they are now looking for the ones still in hiding
Yuki: *stops in front of a door, sniff sniff, enters a room* I know your here Pierre! I can smell you from the other side of the door!
Pierre: Every time! I can never hide from you!
Lance: *whispering* Does anyone else find it just a little creepy that he was able to find him so quick and just by scent?
Other Grid kids: *nodding* yeah....
Niki: Hey guys I'm back-
*James and Keke betting which twink will break Alain*
*Ayrton choosing to leave him a broken shell of a man*
*Alain crying of exhaustion, begging to left alone*
*Nigel throwing up from eating too many marshmallows*
*Mika recording it while it happens*
Niki: on second thought maybe I still need more treatment.
Toto: Valtteri you just lost a race you wanna talk about your feelings?
Valtteri: No
Lewis: Oh! Me! I wanna talk about my feeling!
Toto: *rubbing his forhead* I know Lewis.
Lewis: I feel sad for Valtteri *pout*
Toto: *sigh* I know Lewis.
*older drivers talking with the retired drivers turned sky sports eye candy*
Jenson: but those days were wild! Absolutely mental!
Seb: yeah they were quite crazy! Hahaha *twinks internally*
Lando: WHAT?!? I get the rest of you but Seb?!? Seb is like the calmest most responsible person I know!
Lance: yeah! His rebellious phase was probably him not looking where he throws his trash.
Other grid kids: yeah!
Fernando and Mark: *still having nightmares of the absolute batshit crazy chaos that Seb used to cause in his RBR days*
Lewis and Nico: *getting Flashbacks to Seb flirting with everything that breathed*
All the older guys that were there when Seb was still in his menace to society era: Yeah No.
Everyone about Lewis: He is so serious, and is a real racing driver which means he's a man's man.
Meanwhile Lewis: *strutting in wearing the most high fashion outfits while giggling and playing with his toy car*
Lance: *drops his pancakes with maple syrup, sighs and stares at it* why do I even bother waking up?
Seb: *concerned* are you okay??
Mick: *failing to build his leggos* why was I even born if all I'll ever be is a disappointment, why?
Seb: *in extreme panic* What the hell is happening?!?!?! Why are none of you ok?!?!?
Toto: When I asked you two to stop with the flirting I didn't mean this!
Lewis: *side eying Nico* Well it's not my fault someone decided it was fun to just be a bitch
Nico: *scoffs and glare at Lewis* No because it just never is, is it? God forbid Lewis Hamilton ever becomes at fault!
*a full on brocedes argument ensues*
Niki in his chair watching this whole thing unfold: hehehehe
Toto: Niki can you PLEASE take this seriously and help me stop them!
Niki: I can't! It's too much fun! I had to suffer this shit with Alain and Ayrton and now you have to suffer it too. *manic laughter*
Sara and Elena: Okay that's it! be honest, are you guys cheating on us with each other?
Lance: *cuddling Esteban, snuggling deeper in his embrace* No! Why would you guys think that?
Esteban: *kissing Lances forehead* Oui! Your being paranoid we're just friends! Hell me and Mick have done worse!
Lance: *GASPS* ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH MICK!?!?!?!?
AM 2023
*Fernando wrecking havoc on the AM team*
*Lance and Felipe hiding in the shadows wide eyed*
Lance: *whispering* Maybe if we just stay quiet they'll forget we're even here.
Felipe: *quietly nods his head too scared to make a noise*
Lawrence and Mike: *death gripping their hair, on the verge of an impending breakdown*
Nico: *eating popcorn* who do you think will break first?
Jess: *also eating popcorn* I say Mike
Stoffel: * after being handed a popcorn and told to sit and watch* I say both.
Lando: Hey Lewis can you help me, I wanna learn how to read. :)
Lewis: Uhhh.........Jenson?
Jenson: Uhhh......David?
David: Well.....You know son, as someone who was also a racing driver you don't really need to learn how to rea-
Seb: Nope! Absolutely not! Lando, I will help you!
In a dark room the door opens and a small shadow stands at the door way.
Esteban: *flinches shaking in fear*
The light turns on, it's Fernando
Fernando: Why is it so dark? Why are you shaking?!?!?
Esteban: *looking around in panic still shaking, whispers* ever since Suzuka I've been hiding from Yuki.
Fernando: Why are you hiding from Yuki?!?
Esteban: *whisper shouts* don't be so loud!
Yuki: * holding a bat* I found you, you fucking baguette! You stole my Pierre!
Esteban: *on his knees crying* please I don't want him! take him back! I'm sorry!!
Carlos: Hey Charles have you seen my-
Charles: *in a banana costume* yes?
Carlos: why are you dressed as a banana?
Charles: Because it's Halloween!
Carlos: and you're a banana
Charles: Well I've always been a snack so I decided to just make it more specific.
Charles: Hey I have an Idea! We should-
Carlos: No.
Charles: What do you mean no?
Carlos: I mean no. You wanna hear it in Spanish? Noh!