Dad Jokes - Tumblr Posts

I recently became a vampire, and I’m so ashamed. 

I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

I'm on a really strict vegan diet right now but I'm finding it really hard

The vegans are so hard to catch

how to smoothly ask someone out for dinner by kim taehyung

Einstein was a real person?!

Like actually?!

You mean he wasn't just a theoretical physicist?!

2 people are hanging out in person 1's house.

Person 2, notices some mold growing on the ceiling. "Is that fungus?"

"No," Person 1 replies. "He's pretty boring."

Pastor Jokes are as bad as Dad Jokes

my dad gets on the computer for 5 minutes and he already manages to unlock internet explorer’s unholy twin and pull it out of the depths of hell you know what fuck this shit

My brother sent us all a picture of an ape from the zoo and my dad said "you need to shave" and I'm dying

Here’s a comic I done for For Fathers in Action

Reblogging just because I've seen that face before... on the family when my dad makes a joke

🇬🇧 Animation with the song based on asdfmovies "The Muffin Song". Dedicated to all fans of asdfmovies and Dad Jokes.

🇮🇩 Animasi dengan lagu sesuai dengan asdfmovie "The Muffin Song". Terdedikasi pada semua penggemar asdf dan Lelucon Bapak-Bapak.

🇷🇺 Анимация с песней по асдфшкам "The Muffin Song". Посвящается всем фанатам асдфшек и папиных шуток.

I got a joke for ya'll

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile

Silver Fish

Cardina Greenbrarian

Father’s day is only a week away! Here’s some fatherly advice from the dad joke champion @vancityreynolds

shirt available here! https://www.lookhuman.com/design/321243-dad-joke-champion

why was the skeleton sad? he had no BODY to tell its jokes so he was bone-ly.

i'm thinking about wrighting a pome about birds but right now i'm just winging it but adove all i just hope it turns out ok.

What do birds do when they don’t have a plan?

They just wing it  

my lovely, amazing father does not have english as a first language, but he immigrated early in his life so he has an almost-perfect accent. sometimes, though, you can tell it’s his second language: for example, today, he pronounced the met gala the met “gay-la” and after I corrected him he thought for a bit an said “it’s because a lot of the people there are gay”

I often say "Seize the carpe!" instead of Carpe Diem. There are a few points of interest here: 1) I'm joking about seizing a fish. 2) I'm purposely mixing Latin and English. 3) I'm purposely saying "seize the seize." 4) I'm apparently a butthole for ruining both English AND Latin.