Lesbophobia - Tumblr Posts

on a post asking terfs their age and sexuality it’s clear that being a terf is not a “lesbian” thing. lesbians esp trans lesbians have pointed out over and over claiming “terfness” as a lesbian component is not only just accepting terf rhetoric n isolating trans women from their lesbianism but it’s also blatantly incorrect…? the other day i saw a trans man who identified as a terf. do not let these ppl get a pass bc ur lesbophobia allows them to slip under the radar. these ppl are still spreading harmful ideologies and will continue to do so if u do not acknowledge their existence

We should be mean to men. We should genocide women. Another fantastic take from the leftists…

But if sex isn’t real how can they tell the men from the women?

one thing i think a lot of about is the bi women vs lesbian discourse. mostly i bc it just screams I NEED THERAPY from everyone involved

i think a lot about how lesbians aren’t allowed to have complicated feelings about anything and nobody listens to us. specially when it’s about the wlw community.

i think a lot bc i have a best friend, let’s call her G, she’s bi, and i’m a ( recently out ) lesbian. she’s a committed long term relationship with a man. i’m in a committed long term relationship with my butch. a lesbian relationship. she’s supportive of me, im supportive of her. we both have families that wouldn’t to some extent support our queerness.

she gets to bring her boyfriend around, call him her boyfriend, get treated like a couple, have the classic arrangement, have him for family dinners and easter lunch and christmas.

i don’t. i get to bring my girlfriend around as a friend ( even when my mom grows suspicious ), she comes in friendly hours and never gets to stay around like a boyfriend would, i don’t get to introduce them and make a scene. sometimes i drop their hand.

we both are on the first serious relationship of our lives and we are both calling it the long haul. and she gets to play house and make her family proud, and i don’t. it doesn’t make her less queer than me and i love G. but sometimes i wonder if it makes sense to have us be part of the same community under the word sapphic.

one day we went out for dinner and talked about our relationship ( hers, 1 year, mine, 1 month ). i realized she was following a path i could never, she was choosing a brilliant career, a glowing relationship accept by everyone, and a perfect life that she wanted and it made her happy and i was so happy for her. but i resented her.

i resented her because she was leaving me behind ( a freak ). because she had no the option because that’s not how sexuality works but the chance to be normal. and i know this is not very productive and it doesn’t help the community, but i think it’s time we acknowledge the messy feelings.

i did, i asked her if she would stop being my friend if our lives got too different. she said no. we are friends to this day, we’ve been friends longer than both of us were even interested in dating or knew we were both queer.

she won’t always get what’s like being a lesbian, it’s okay. she doesn’t have to, i won’t always get what’s like to be bi either. i don’t have to. we stay friends because we love each other and we love to watch each other grow.

it’s funny bc old men look at us like they never saw gay people before ( me and my girlfriend at the metro ) but middle aged women look at us like they never seen anything more disgusting and really triggering my mommy issues

update

CW: LESBOPHOBIA

so my mother called a degenerate last week because i told her about me consensually dating two women.

and she insults me because -according to her- it's for my own good! she's just 'trying to give me an advice because these kind of relationships never work and i will end up hurt.'

like....... c'mon, you're a straight married woman. you don't have any right to warn me about the dangers of being in a relationship with a woman or with 20 women, you're so out of place and i don't fucking care about your 'opinions' on my relationships.

👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

This. All of this.

because this issue is much bigger than that 144p video…

first, shout out to the cishets who get it, and to the queers who honor their identity, authenticity and the queer/queer-friendly spaces they’ve helped build (even if just on the internet!) 🌈

let me also preface: had that 15-second clip undeniably shown JK’s face in 4K, i wouldn’t even be writing this post. though AI exists and is creepy af, i would simply bite my tongue and anticipate the fact that he and JM may not be/have been an item. because while i root for JM and JK as a couple with rainbow bells on, i’m not about to drink no TKK-tainted kool-aid to satisfy some kind of personal, selfish fixation.

ok. i'm just gonna say it:

i think some people in the Jikook fandom are homophobic (or harbor internalized homophobia, if they’re queer) and don’t even realize it.

the people who jumped to the “girlfriend” conclusion don’t live a material queer reality, and favored a random 144p, grainy-ass clip of shady origins of so-called “JK” with an unknown woman during (surprise!) his 3D promo, over a whole-ass decade of JK and JM doing couple-y things all caught in 4K! 🌈 (not to mention their families of origin and tattoo artist who openly support them).

and i notice how quick some people believed - since a woman was in the clip - that this unknown, possibly staged "relationship" must be more “valid” than the one JK seems to be in with an achillean who just wrote him a whole-ass love letter in song, and flew from literally the ends of the earth just to see him on Silver Day.

it’s giving heteronormativity, heterosexism and homophobia.

but today, that man really said “ain’t no girlfriend” with his whole chest because he “don’t need one”! (it’s the classic gay go-to response for me. 💅)

as for the polyamory/non-monog option: like i said in my last post, Jeon “Victoria Justice” Jungkook ain’t having it, i’m sorry.

even if JK and JM weren’t dating, why was the girlfriend option the go-to default? why couldn't she be a platonic friend? or a relative? but 15 seconds of grainy footage of Bootleg JK setting up The Real JK (or some poor, unsuspecting Asian man in an Asian country minding his business) was all it took, huh?

speaking as someone who lives a VERY REAL QUEER MATERIAL REALITY (as in, my wife and i are both sapphic and are “read” in society as 2 women whose connection people at first sight can’t quite figure out 💀), and who has been deeeeeeeply harmed by homophobia and lesbophobia over and over again, this whole situation stings.

~ do you know how many times my own partner has been assumed to be my roommate, my very platonic friend, a stranger who i don't even know… anyone but the person i lie down with at night, anyone but the person i shower with kisses after work, anyone but the person i engage deep, meaningful conversation with and crack dirty jokes with at the dinner table?

~ do you know how many times we’ve gotten separate checks by default at the restaurant because the server just assumed we’re not a couple?

~ do you know how many times people - sometimes, even other queer people! - have tried to push cishet men into my sapphic safe spaces when i don’t want them there because their presence with their combined identity at the top of the social (gender-sexual orientation) food chain makes me feel uncomfortable?!

trust me - this is not an exhaustive list.

the same queer people who cry “qUeEr eRaSuRe” (which, valid because queer erasure is real - i'm pointing out the hypocrisy here) are the same ones who were hella quick to dismiss 10 years of a relationship between 2 achilleans filled with a kind of love that - if shown between a man and a woman - would undeniably be called “romantic” out the gate.

so which is it?

are you honoring (your) queerness? or are you falling back on internalized homophobia? because if it's the latter, i say this with love: please work that sh!t out. trust me - heteronormativity ain’t gonna save you, honey.

and for all the cishets who jumped to the conclusion that JK had a girlfriend: you’re a major reason why people like me and other queers suffer so much harm in the name of invalidation and queer erasure. the least you can do is put in the fcking work to make the world a safer place for queer and trans people.

and let me emphasize: this is not me "accusing people of being homophobic for simply not believing in Jikook” - this is me calling out those who immediately defaulted to 15 seconds of unauthorized, toaster-quality, heteronormative activity over 10 years of queer (achillean) love.

up until literally today, JK has talked non-stop about and has gestured his love in grand ways to JM, and vice versa.

you don't have to support Jikook, but please - take your homophobia and heteronormativity with you on the way out, will ya?

anygays... carry on. ☀️🌙

libfem website article suggestions:

Why You Should Get Over Your Discomfort With Being Called Demeaning Slurs If It’s, Like, A Sex Thing

Here, Have A Tentative Endorsement Of Actual Intercourse In Public Spaces

A Bisexual Talked To Me???? Am I Qu**r Now??? (Blog Post)

Why Trans-Fetishism Is Progressive

Why Racial Preferences Are Natural (According To A White Free-Lance Psychologist)

How To Push Your Sexual Boundaries And Warp Your Perception Of Your Own Sexuality In A Way That Is Palatable To Straight Men

Are Lesbians Actually Holding Back Qu**r Rights?

Why It’s Okay To Be Homophobic To Gay Men, But Only When They’re, Like, Obnoxious About Being Gay. Real Homophobia Ended A Long Time Ago, Right?

How Feminism Was Actually Always About Helping Men, Too