Heteronormativity - Tumblr Posts

Feminine lesbian problem

I feel bad for one of my best friends. She is a feminine lesbian and boys. Including my ex boyfriend keeps sliding into her dms, and buying her snacks. She keeps telling him that she is a lesbian. And every time he says the same thing. "I know, but are you sure?" She always says "Yes". But still keeps trying.

So for any of you feminine lesbians are going through the same thing. Just know that no matter what, you are valid.

Sex* Gender is a cultural and social construction.

I was repulsed by the idea of marriage until I realised I wanted to marry a woman.

I felt suffocated by the idea of only having the option of romantic and sexual committed relationships until I learned about qprs.

I felt wrong when I got excited about my partner having a crush or when I thought about being so tightly bound to one person until I found out about polyamory.

I felt empty searching for what made me feel like my agab until I discovered I was agender.

These standards and pressures exist even when we don’t know what they are. Pushing a hetero/allo/monogamous/cis agenda onto kids hurts them even if they aren’t in an actively intolerant area. Ignorance does the most damage. Nobody deserves to feel broken.

"mike is dating el so he has to be bisexual!!" heteronormativity. gay men can date women before knowing they're gay. also beards exist. also gross, mike and el have familial parallels. if you ship byler I know you're smarter than this. you can think mike is bi but this is a shit reason for thinking so.

Sport is not safe for intersex people. I’ve known this ever since I first heard about how the olympics has treated intersex athletes. Especially intersex people who aren’t white. Hell, I have a whole pretty popular post that still gets reblogged about how much the high level sporting world has hurt and ruined the lives of intersex people. But I’ve been reminded again of this in the past few days. It’s so fucking hard and crushing to see people all over talk about how people like you are disgusting, cheaters, freaks and more.

I’ve been playing competitive soccer for years, since I was about 12. I’m obviously not an Olympic level athlete, or anywhere close, but I’d say I’m pretty good at my position and have put in countless hours over the years to get to this point. I grew up watching Christine Sinclair score goals for Canada and I screamed so hard with happiness my voice gave out when I watched as Stephanie Labbe made an amazing save in penalties to win Canada the gold at the Tokyo olympics. Like a lot of kids, I’d sometimes dream of standing beside them, triumphant on the podium. But it seems that that dream isn’t one intersex kids are allowed to have. Because god fucking forbid we be athletes, or even worse, good athletes. God fucking forbid we are better in our sport than another person, because a target is painted on our backs. Especially, especially for intersex women who aren’t white.

Intersex people in sport aren’t allowed to be strong or talented. We aren’t allowed to be world class athletes. The world doesn’t want us to exist, but especially not in sport.

It makes me so fucking angry. Because much as the dream of competing in the olympics will never materialize for most kids, it’s still a dream that’s allowed to exist. Intersex kids don’t get to dream of the olympics the same way, because the sporting world hates us.

People are over here acting like Noel Gruber is a bottom. Lies. Lies and slander.

He says, and I quote, "Being the only gay man in a small, rural high school is kinda like having a laptop during the stone age. Sure, you can have one but there's nowhere to plug it in."

That is not the innuendo of a bottom, that is the innuendo of a TOP

Heteronormative culture be like

(from: Inga Lindström: Liebesreigen in Samlund)

👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

This. All of this.

because this issue is much bigger than that 144p video…

first, shout out to the cishets who get it, and to the queers who honor their identity, authenticity and the queer/queer-friendly spaces they’ve helped build (even if just on the internet!) 🌈

let me also preface: had that 15-second clip undeniably shown JK’s face in 4K, i wouldn’t even be writing this post. though AI exists and is creepy af, i would simply bite my tongue and anticipate the fact that he and JM may not be/have been an item. because while i root for JM and JK as a couple with rainbow bells on, i’m not about to drink no TKK-tainted kool-aid to satisfy some kind of personal, selfish fixation.

ok. i'm just gonna say it:

i think some people in the Jikook fandom are homophobic (or harbor internalized homophobia, if they’re queer) and don’t even realize it.

the people who jumped to the “girlfriend” conclusion don’t live a material queer reality, and favored a random 144p, grainy-ass clip of shady origins of so-called “JK” with an unknown woman during (surprise!) his 3D promo, over a whole-ass decade of JK and JM doing couple-y things all caught in 4K! 🌈 (not to mention their families of origin and tattoo artist who openly support them).

and i notice how quick some people believed - since a woman was in the clip - that this unknown, possibly staged "relationship" must be more “valid” than the one JK seems to be in with an achillean who just wrote him a whole-ass love letter in song, and flew from literally the ends of the earth just to see him on Silver Day.

it’s giving heteronormativity, heterosexism and homophobia.

but today, that man really said “ain’t no girlfriend” with his whole chest because he “don’t need one”! (it’s the classic gay go-to response for me. 💅)

as for the polyamory/non-monog option: like i said in my last post, Jeon “Victoria Justice” Jungkook ain’t having it, i’m sorry.

even if JK and JM weren’t dating, why was the girlfriend option the go-to default? why couldn't she be a platonic friend? or a relative? but 15 seconds of grainy footage of Bootleg JK setting up The Real JK (or some poor, unsuspecting Asian man in an Asian country minding his business) was all it took, huh?

speaking as someone who lives a VERY REAL QUEER MATERIAL REALITY (as in, my wife and i are both sapphic and are “read” in society as 2 women whose connection people at first sight can’t quite figure out 💀), and who has been deeeeeeeply harmed by homophobia and lesbophobia over and over again, this whole situation stings.

~ do you know how many times my own partner has been assumed to be my roommate, my very platonic friend, a stranger who i don't even know… anyone but the person i lie down with at night, anyone but the person i shower with kisses after work, anyone but the person i engage deep, meaningful conversation with and crack dirty jokes with at the dinner table?

~ do you know how many times we’ve gotten separate checks by default at the restaurant because the server just assumed we’re not a couple?

~ do you know how many times people - sometimes, even other queer people! - have tried to push cishet men into my sapphic safe spaces when i don’t want them there because their presence with their combined identity at the top of the social (gender-sexual orientation) food chain makes me feel uncomfortable?!

trust me - this is not an exhaustive list.

the same queer people who cry “qUeEr eRaSuRe” (which, valid because queer erasure is real - i'm pointing out the hypocrisy here) are the same ones who were hella quick to dismiss 10 years of a relationship between 2 achilleans filled with a kind of love that - if shown between a man and a woman - would undeniably be called “romantic” out the gate.

so which is it?

are you honoring (your) queerness? or are you falling back on internalized homophobia? because if it's the latter, i say this with love: please work that sh!t out. trust me - heteronormativity ain’t gonna save you, honey.

and for all the cishets who jumped to the conclusion that JK had a girlfriend: you’re a major reason why people like me and other queers suffer so much harm in the name of invalidation and queer erasure. the least you can do is put in the fcking work to make the world a safer place for queer and trans people.

and let me emphasize: this is not me "accusing people of being homophobic for simply not believing in Jikook” - this is me calling out those who immediately defaulted to 15 seconds of unauthorized, toaster-quality, heteronormative activity over 10 years of queer (achillean) love.

up until literally today, JK has talked non-stop about and has gestured his love in grand ways to JM, and vice versa.

you don't have to support Jikook, but please - take your homophobia and heteronormativity with you on the way out, will ya?

anygays... carry on. ☀️🌙

Super heroes as an allegory for Queer and Trans Narratives

Forgive me if this is a little rambley I have already taken my sleep meds.

I was just thinking about why I like super heroes so much (they have been my special interested for probably around 8 years now) and I think because they can be seen as a queer allegory.

You have a separate life, one that you have to keep separate from your day to day life. That very much feels like being in the closet/mostly in the closet. That secrete life comes with a different name and different clothes. Trans people or Drag Artists anyone? Most of the time super heroes find each other and form a tight community because no civilian will understand their experiences. This mirrors queer people finding and building community. In both Marvel and DC older heroes will take younger ones under their wings to teach them and give them community. Queer people have taken me under their wing and I've done the same for others.

Theres also the isolation. Most heroes are only "out" as heroes to other heroes and maybe a few civilians they really truly trust. Or maybe no one knows. The knowledge that you have a huge secret. You are hiding a big part of your self. Maybe the part that is more you than the you everyone else knows. You know that if you tell or someone finds out, everything will change. Others may or may not except that part of you. You may loose people you love. Maybe the people who are close to you are pro heroes (Ned from Spiderman) or maybe they are not (Foggy from Daredevil) but either way there will always be a possibility of rejection.

The danger of being a hero also lines up. They wear masks, cowls, helmets, disguises etc, to hide their identities because if people knew they and the people they love would be in danger. Heroes who's identities are known (either by their own volition or someone else's) are also in danger. Batman keeps his and his kids identities under lock and key because everything goes wrong when the wrong person finds out. Jessica Jones does not because she's tired of hiding. Queer people weather in or out of the closet are also in danger of being outed. I've been outed before and it ruined one relationship and almost ruined another. I've lost friends and family because of being queer and nonbinary and I'm from a pretty liberal area. Just look up death, houselessness, rape, unemployment, suicide statistic etc. All of them are higher for queer, trans and intersex folks.

The last parallel I can think of is how both super heroes and queer/trans people exist outside of the system/establishment. Heroes and vigilantes work outside of the justice system because in most cases because they see it doesn't work. They are usually at risk of arrest by cops or in danger from the government (the Sokovia accords are a good example of this). Queer people exist outside of many establishments: The gender binary, amatonormativity, heteronormativity, the sex binary, etc. Queer people are also at greater risk of arrest and experiencing police violence.

IDK these are just my thoughts. I hope everything made sense. If you can think of any other ways super hero narratives mirror lgbtq experiences feel free to put them in the notes! (or not its whatever)

Fanships

It bothers me when people ship two characters just because they're attractive males and females. Especially when romance between them is hardly indicated.

It bothers me more when people hate on fanships that are queer, presumably for changing "canon." I'm sorry that we're so underrepresented in cartoons that we have to "change" characters just so that we can identify with them more. I'm sorry that we're so starved to see a fulfilling queer relationship that we have to invent things just to feel satisfied.

Wait, why am I sorry? Throw us a bone here, will ya?