On Girlhood - Tumblr Posts
The current trend where people post a picture of their current self and a picture of their younger self with the lyrics “I’m so sorry that they pick you last” is bringing up a lot for me. It’s so grueling to look back and think “I could have saved you. Who I am now could have saved who I was then. None of this had to happen.” But of course, it’s a never ending loop. Who I am now only exists because of who I was then, so I could not have saved who I was then without going through everything it took to get to who I am now. Anyway, I thought-spiraled into going through all of my old messages, going as far back as to middle school. It is so heartbreaking to see how truly cruel people were to me. I was so lonely and all I wanted was for people to love me. I tried so hard to get their love. My messages were lengthy, bubbly and cheery. I cared about people, I asked them questions and tried to get to know them, to let them know that I was interested in their lives and who they were. At the time, I had to believe that they were my friends. That they loved me. I needed to believe it. But looking back, I can see how much those things were not true. They would respond with short, rude, cold, uninterested messages. They would never contact me without being contacted first. It almost even appears that they were manipulating my kindness, profiting off of how desperate for love I was. They seemed to be making fun of me, silently laughing at my attempts to receive their love and care. I just feel so bad for my younger self. I feel bad about the world. It makes me deeply sad that such a pure girl who was just trying to be kind and connect with others was met by people who were careless with her heart and abusive of her compassion. I wish I could’ve been there. I wish I could’ve offered her a heart that matched her own.
do you ever meet someone and they tell you about the things they’ve struggled with in the past and you’re just like … damn. I wish I would’ve been there when you were little. I could’ve saved you. You know…I could have kissed the bruises on your back…yadda yadda yadda
Baie | she/they | unlabled | minor
— currently listening to: 'who we are' by hozier and 'hate to be lame' by lizzy mcalpine feat. finneas
— currently reading: 'hamlet' by william shakespeare
hello :> welcome to my little blog! I mainly just reblog things that i love or that resonate with me. Otherwise i’m talking about current reads or school. i’ve kinda got my foot in the door of studyblr and bookblr.
about me: australian!! 2006. lover of love and life. infj 4w5 unlabeled and very much in love <3. chaotic good! and recently chronically ill. rediscovering and building my faith :)
academia: graduating class of '23. atar + headstartx2, [english, general math, legal studies, psychology, chemistry] I love learning languages!! currently self-teaching japanese [mother tongue is english, small talk in japanese, very minimal french and korean]
the goal: double bachelor of criminology and criminal justice + psychological science
fandoms here! they don't have huge relevance here, but i love them dearly <3
sherlock!! acd and bbc (currently consuming all other adaptations like a starving victorian child)
rwby!! yes my favourite character is qrow, moving on.
bts!! army since 2018, bias: v :)
bee and puppycat!! seriously in love
the osemanverse!! esp loveless, radio silence <3 and ofc heartstopper
arcane!! obsessed.
monster high!! grew up on gen1 :)
it's honestly kinda hard to think about these off the top of my head ngl
now books!! favourites that have stuck with me :>
the midnight library by matt haig good 4 the soul
the inheritance games by jennifer lynn barnes NEWBOOKSOON!!
i fell in love with hope by lancali
song of achilles by madeline miller no elaboration needed.
embassy row series by ally carter reread too many times
hamlet by william shakespeare
sparrow by sarah moon beautiful
⇢ i love you whoever you are, and i'm always here for you :)
thank you for reading all this <3
Source: cafekitsune
Queen of emotional self regulation (fold into myself and never come out for days on end whenever something emotionally taxing happens)
i highly recommend for women and girls to be intellectually curious and difficult to shame
Baie | she/they | unlabled | 18
– currently listening to: 'david melrose theme' by hauschka, smokey eyes by lincoln, along with elias hix, hozier, noah kahan, gang of youths – currently reading: all the light we cannot see by anthony doerr and phosphorecence by julia baird
welcome
hello :> it's general chaos around here. possibly some web weaving of my own floating about. but there's not much else to it
about me: australian!! 2006. lover of love and life. infj 4w5. very in love ᰔᩚ chaotic good! rediscovering and building my faith :) lqbtqia+
academia: graduated '23!! starting my double degree in ‘24! slowly self-teaching japanese ᰔᩚ. chaotic academia by blood
the goal: bachelor criminology and criminal justice + psychological science (and maybe cybercrime in the future?)
master list
(links are broken atm, but the tags are correct)
#poems and quotes
#ineptias loqour (my posts)
#study log
#media
#artwork
#music
#musings (a fav of mine)
#meme
#not a meme but that same category of posts
#on christianity
#letters to myself
#that one type of green
#web weaving
#anderson don’t talk out loud. you lower the iqueue of the whole street. (queue tag)
added this section with the tags i use most often so i can find posts later, everything else is just #on *thing* and frankly i can't be bothered with that.
will possibly add links to fandoms and reads... not sure yet. it would be good to have an active list of all the books i read and enjoyed enough to keep a list of…. here’s a short list of fandomesque things tho: sherlock, rwby, bts/kpop, d20, sk8 the infinity, good omens, epic the musical, lore olympus webtoon, loki series, fnaf,
books would include: archives of despair by caleb finn, hamlet, good omens, throne of glass series, embassy row series, the song of achilles by madeline miller, they both die at the end duology, the inheritance games series, shadow and bone+six of crows, everything by alice oseman
music as well perhaps? hozier, bts, ericdoa, noah kahan, glaive, cage the elephant, lizzy mcalpine, cave town, mccafferty, chase atlantic, brakence, eden, the front bottoms, (it’s all over the place… just not much country music tbh)
here’s the old intro post, haven't decided what to do with it yet
⊹˚₊ ૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა
ik this is a new account, but i’ve been here since july 2020 <3
for what i have done and failed to do i am sorry.