Percys Family - Tumblr Posts
My three year old cousin: *making lots of noise*
My uncle: why don’t we stop?
My cousin: yah
My cousin:
My cousin: *continues*
I’m fucking wheezing my sister’s bday is tomorrow and I guess my parents planned on putting some sort of message in our yard (?? idk I wasn’t involved in plans) and I found out because she noticed someone creeping in our yard and panicked and told me to come look
My mom: you guys never really picked each other up or dumped each other out of seats
My sister: that sounds like something I would do
Me: yeah, that’s so out of character of you
Sister:
Me:
Sister:
Sister: it’s national girlfriend day, where’s your girlfriend Percy
Me:
My oldest sis requested a necro-druid so
Bonus time lapse:
Another request from my eldest sister
Bonus time lapse:
Sister, driving behind K-9 car: oh shiver me timbers!
Sister: my shivers are timbered
Sister:
Me:
Sister: wait
Sister: my timbers are shivered
Both: *wheeze*
Sister: timber me shivers
Both: *laugh harder*
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
My family: *trying to find the exact note my mom hit when she farted*
My mom: You’re eating the strawberries!! Something healthy!! Yay!!!!
Me, hiding chocolate sauce and whipped cream behind my back: Y-yeah...
Me, peeling the tinfoil off of my burrito: can I have your coat lol
My sister: do you have an off switch?
Me, walking downstairs to take my antibiotics: YO NECESITO LAS DRUGAS
My sister: Yo necesito... you to put my pizza in the fridge
My dad, after getting off of an hour and a half phone call: Okay, so...
Dad: *points at me* introvert
Dad: *points at himself* introvert
Dad: *points at phone*
Dad:
Dad: Ouch.
My mom: Do you wanna go to a motivational-speaker thing that school is having?
My sister: That sounds like a waste of time.
Me: I don’t need motivation, I need cash money.
My mom: *Takes forever taking pictures*
Also my mom: Why are we so late?
My sister, eating bad salami: It tastes like if bologna dressed up as salami for Halloween
Me, rambling about Minecraft because it’s my current hyperfixation: Look at everything that I’m doing! Your world is gonna be so cool!!! I made you an infinite lava farm!!!! And a strip mine!!!
My sister, kindly letting me play on her computer because I was having withdrawals due to my broke-ass computer: Wow, very good!
Me: Okay, so you *points at eldest sister* are cottagecore, and you *points at middle sister* are city. So what am I?
E.S.: a basement gremlin
M.S.: well if that’s what you call her, I’m gonna give you a meaner name.
M.S.: sad bitch.
E.s.: yeah, we prefer the ‘spicy thoughts club*
E.S.: our uniforms are crushed party hats
My sister, filling out a form: ‘First and last name, please enter a number greater than zero’? What??
My sister, texting my dad: ‘What do you wanna do for dinner?’ Dad said, ‘cry.’
My sister: You can eat some of the brownies, just don’t eat the corner I just took a bite out of.
Me: No shit, dumbass.
My sister:
My sister: I don’t even have a response for that
Idk where to find it but I was thinking about that one post where the person was talking about playing a certain song whenever their mom was upset in order to cheer them up and I have since realized I do very much the same thing with my aux