Rowena X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Heart to Heart

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Requested - Dean Winchester x reader with the prompts 19 - “The truth is being with you scares me. But not being with you…terrifies me” and 23 - “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.” 

Y/N had been hunting with the Winchester’s for a long time, you’d met them whilst you were hunting a nest of vampires and ended up making quite a team. Once they had found out what the vampires had done to your family they opened their home up to you, you had happily accepted the invitation and since then had grown close to them. Whilst you liked both men you had been drawn to Dean more, you went to him when you were scared, when you couldn’t sleep due to nightmares from your past. You shared the bed with him more times than not when the three, sometimes four depending on if Castiel joined, travelled. You knew you were falling for the taller man but also knew nothing could come from it, this life wasn’t for people who thought they could have a slice of happiness, getting to close to someone got you and them hurt but still you couldn’t help soaking up all the hugs, the touches, the lingering glances between Dean and you.

Even with the apocalypse world situation nothing had changed between you and Dean, you were still friends, the best of friends, and nothing more. You joked and flirted, everyone could tell there was something there but you knew Dean was just joking, no matter how much Sam tried to convince you otherwise.

The bunker was currently fuller than usual, Rowena here helping with opening the gate to the apocalypse world, Gabriel recovering and helping were he could, Castiel, Sam and Dean were getting ready to go to the other side. You, however, sat staring at Dean with an angry glare. He had banned you from going, said it was too dangerous which was true but what wasn’t dangerous in this life? You knew when you joined the boys your life would be dangerous, that every action would have a consequence but you wanted to help! You were going to the apocalypse world with or without Dean’s permission, just let him try and stop you.

“Listen, I’m not apologising for protecting you-“ Dean began but was quickly cut off by you protesting, “I don’t need protection Dean Winchester, I’m a big girl and I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself!” Kneeling in front of you Dean sighed before continuing, “I know you can but you haven’t dealt with a threat this big before, Hell, we don’t even know what we’re walking into. You- I won’t let you go in there. I need you too damn much.” You looked at him for a long moment. As much as you wanted the words to mean something, and in any other situation they would, you couldn’t listen to them at the moment. You needed to go with them, help them!

“I’m going with you whether you like it or not.” Your voice was firm as you stood from your chair, pushing past him. He barely stayed balanced in his squatting position before he stood up and went to follow you, only to be stopped by Sam who put his hand on Dean's shoulder and shook his head slightly.

“She’s right, the clock may run out on us.” You heard as you tuned back into the conversation. You knew Castiel and Rowena were right, you hadn’t been to the other world but from what you’d been told it was big and the chance of finding Mary and Jack was, well it was slim.

Looking up you saw Gabriel enter the room, holding a vial of his grace. As Rowena held it up you frowned a confused expression making its way onto yours, and everyone else’s face. With an uneasy look towards Castiel, Rowena used the small amount of grace to finish the spell. As the angels grabbed their blades and Sam and Dean grabbed their bags, you leant against the door frame, your own bag hidden in your room a few doors down.

“I need you to trust me.” Dean said as he came over to you, a hand reaching up to cup your cheek, it took all your strength not to lean into his touch. “I’m not benching you to be an ass, I’m trying to protect you. Hell, I don’t even want Sammy in there. I can’t have both of you in there, I’m sorry Y/N. I really am.”

“You don’t need to be worried about protecting me in there Dean! Sure I haven’t fought archangels like you have but I’ve fought enough creatures to the point where you should know I can handle my own shit. Stop looking at me like a child who told you they want to be an astronaut, I can actually do this.” You were angry, you had been with the Winchester’s for a few years now. Had been through thick and thin with them and still when the biggest fight was here Dean didn’t trust you. You turned and walked out of the room, the older Winchester following you right out.

“I trust you, Y/N, you know I do!” Dean said causing you to scoff, he paused to glare at you before continuing. “Is it that hard to believe I care about you too much?”

“Whatever. Just go, I don’t even care. I’ll just follow your orders and stay here!” He went to respond, looking just as frustrated as you felt, but was cut off by Sam shouting him into the room.

“Y/N, before I go, in case something happens you have to know,” here he paused for a few long moments, “I - I do trust you.” It could have been the many emotions you were feeling but you swore you saw regret in his eyes, like he was telling the truth but not the whole truth. You shrugged it off, rolling your eyes at his retreating figure before following him into the room again.

You all watched as Rowena completed the spell, the portal appeared before collapsing, all you heads titling with it. The group in front of you began arguing about Gabriel’s grace before Castiel started explaining how they needed archangel grace.

“We need Lucifer.” His voice was firm, there was no arguing with the statement, though that didn’t stop them. Your eyes darted towards Sam and then Rowena, feeling sympathy for them both but knowing Castiel was right. Gabriel wasn’t healed and the gate needed to be opened as soon as possible.

-

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Sam, Dean and Castiel excused themselves to go and discuss things in the kitchen. You left for your bedroom not completely understanding what needed discussing, as much as Sam had reason to despise Lucifer he was the only way that the door to the apocalypse world could be opened.

For the amount of time you had spent with Sam and Dean, you hadn’t had the chance to meet Lucifer. They kept you as far away from him as humanly possible. They had told you what he had done to Cas, to Sam but you weren’t scared of him, well not as much as you probably should’ve been. It sort of made sense, Lucifer wanting to destroy the world his Father made after being put in the cage. That didn’t mean you agreed with what Lucifer had done, just that you could sort of see his side.

The apocalypse world was going to be dangerous, you knew that much. Dean was worried about going in there and that should have been enough to scare you but you couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. You’d lost one family and you refused to sit around and do nothing while this family was in danger.

There was a knock on your door and you looked up to see Castiel leaning against the frame. “Dean wanted to come but I didn’t think you’d want to see him right now.” He said causing you to smile. “Rowena and Gabriel have gone to collect Lucifer. I’d expect them back shortly.”

You nodded at Castiel and told him you’d be out soon before closing the door and double checking your bag. You had guns, extra bullets, a knife, flashlights and your angel blade which you stole from Dean a year or so ago. You planned to go through to the apocalypse world after Sam, Dean, Gabriel and Cas had had time to move. Rowena wouldn’t let you go without a fight but if Lucifer was there then maybe she wouldn’t be as focused on you.

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By the time you walked back into the library, Rowena was grinding the ingredients for the spell again and a man you’d never met before was knelt on the ground. Lucifer, that was Lucifer. He had just started the regain consciousness when you quietly walked in.

“Oh hey Sam,” he smirked before taking in the rest of the room, “oh look at that, all the people I love to torture in the same room.” Then his eyes locked with yours and you raised an eyebrow. “Expect you, whose she? New pet?” He was cut off as Rowena placed the bowl of ingredients under him and he put the pieces together. Your eyes widened as Castiel stepped forward and slit the archangels throat, grace pooling from the wound.

Sam told Lucifer of his plan before Rowena performed the spell again, this time the door was bright and wide and Sam’s plan of draining Lucifer seemed like it would actually work, seemed like something would finally go right for them.

“...Then, when we get back, then we’ll kill you.” Sam said, pointing his figure at the archangel. The unbothered, almost bored, “cool” Lucifer let out made you snort quietly; never piss off a Winchester.

Whilst Sam checked in with Rowena, Dean made his way over to you. “Listen I know you’re still made at me but I need you to know this before I go,” He took a deep breath, moments passed before he looked at you again, ““Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you. If I don’t make it back, I just- I need you to know that, ok?”

Before you could reply Gabriel was asking the group if they were ready and before you knew it each of them passed through the doorway, Dean throwing you one last look over his shoulder. Well now you absolutely needed to go to the apocalypse world, not only to help Jack and Mary but if something happened to Dean, not that you didn’t doubt he’d find a way back from the dead, he wouldn’t know you felt the same about him.

Sometimes you really hated the hunter’s life.

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You sat watching Lucifer stare down at the bowl filled with his grace. He looked slightly defeated before turning his attention to Rowena, beginning to pick at her. You raised your eyebrow as you listened to him, “sort of old-fashioned rightness to it, if you think about it. The men going off to face the trials and glories of war. Woman staying home in the kitchen, where she belongs.” You felt your own fists clench and you had to close your eyes to resist the urge to get up and punch the archangel. As you watched him smile innocently at Rowena you had to give credit to her, she knew how to handle the Devil.

Once he saw he wasn’t getting a reaction out of Rowena he turned to you, smirking when he saw he was already getting a reaction out of you. Rowena placed a hand on your knee, just out of sight of Lucifer, and you took a deep breath knowing you couldn’t let him get to you.

“What about you then? Never tortured you before. Dean Winchester seems fond of you, is that how your relationship works? Dean goes off doing the real work, the man's work and you, what, you stay here like a good little girlfriend? Ready to stitch up his wounds and fetch him drinks all day? Is that it?” You felt Rowena’s grip on you tighten as your jaw clenched painfully. “Oh no that’s not it. You wanted to go, didn’t you? But Dean doesn’t think you’re strong enough, does he?” You focused your attention back on the book in front of you, trying your best not to show Lucifer he was getting to you. He kept prodding but you wouldn’t budge, Rowena’s grip on you helping hold you down.

Again, the lack of reaction caused Lucifer to pause before he started singing obnoxiously. You and Rowena shared a look of exasperation, both ready to be done with the archangel and if you didn’t need him he’d be dead already. You watched Rowena place her hand on her head and hoped the group in the apocalypse world would be quick for her sake, you couldn’t wait until you went across.

-

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“I told her I loved her, man. I finally confessed and we get dragged into this world before she could say anything, Hell even a rejection would be better than nothing.” Dean sighed, Sam looked at him in sympathy knowing just how long his older brother had been trying to work up the courage to tell Y/N how he felt. It was moments like this were he wished Dean and him could just live a normal life, let Dean be happy for once.

“Let’s just make it through this and then you’ll see her. Trust me, she’s just as crazy about you as you are about her.” Dean didn’t look convinced but shrugged his shoulders; trying to focus on this world and not on his world.

The subject changed onto Dean’s worry about Sam, how he seemed different in this world but that quickly got interrupted by a woman’s scream. Gabriel tried to dissuade them from intervening but saving people was their job.

-

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Lucifer’s singing carried on before he changed the topic on his last encounter with Rowena. You could see he was getting to her and took this as your chance. Quietly you slipped out of the room, a strong sense of guilt and sympathy for the witch but you knew you had to leave. You grabbed your bag and headed back to the doorway to the apocalypses, pausing before entering the room as you heard Rowena snap. You heard her tell Lucifer that Jack was on the other side, a bad feeling settling in your stomach as you snuck passed and into the doorway.

“Ow!” You cried as you fell face first through the crack. You looked around and felt a chill run up your back, this world was worse than what Sam and Dean had said. You pulled the angel blade from your bag, stuffing it tightly in your boot before pulling the gun out. You looked around, trying to figure out which way to go before you shot around, gun pointed up as you heard something behind you.

“What are you doing here?” You raised an eyebrow as Lucifer questioned you.

“I could ask you the same thing!” You bit back, lowering your gun and pulling the blade from your boot, “you’re meant to be keeping that open!” You yell, pointing to the door.

“Yes, well, change of plans. Apparently my son is in this world and I want him back,” he said before pausing, looking you up and down before smirking, “and you’re going to help me.”

-

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It was official, you hated Lucifer.

He’d managed to track down which way the Winchester’s and Angels had gone before grabbing your arm and pulling you along. Though he had forced you to take a detour in which he found some of Michael’s angels and drained them off their grace. To think Dean was worried about you coming to this world because of the creatures in it, no, know you had your own personal guard; the bloody Devil himself. The sooner you found him, the better. Not only did you want to be as far away from Lucifer as possible, you also needed to warn them that the gate would close sooner than anticipated thanks to the Devil.

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Lucifer ended up pushing you through a door and into a dark tunnel, thankfully you’d brought your flashlight, using it to try and see where you were. Lucifer and you walked down the cave, cobwebs littering the place as you looked around.

“Keep going.” Lucifer growled like you could possibly go anywhere but forward. On the way you passed multiple beheaded vampires and reached for your regular blade, shoving the gun in your jeans.

“Scared?” Lucifer asked with a smirk. “Not even a little, come on.” You replied with an eye roll, turning the corner. You came onto a space with a few different passages, turning to look at Lucifer. As much as you hated the archangel, he was proving useful in knowing where to go.

“This way.” He said before leading you up one of the dark passages. You gripped your blade tighter, feeling uneasy as you looked around. You could definitely hear growling and from the sounds of it you were getting closer.

Lucifer reached out and grabbed your arm causing you to try and pull away, try being the key word considering his grasp was too strong to break. “Keep quiet.” He said before you ended up in another room, a hand shooting to your head. God you hated when angels did that. Opening your eyes you let out a gasp as you saw Sam laying dead on the floor. You looked to Lucifer who paid you no attention before your focus was back on Sam, who sat up and inhaled deeply.

“Hey Sammy.” You watched as Lucifer took joy in bringing Sam back, knowing he had an advantage over him. Lucifer launched into another of his annoying speeches as Sam tried to comprehend the situation as you stood in the shadows, trying to get over the fact that Sam had died, again.

“The rift. Rowena. Y/N.” You watched as Sam realised the implications of Lucifer being here and not back at the bunker.

Lucifer walked over to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “Relax, this one’s safe. I’ve been guarding her the whole time.” He told Sam with an innocent grin. “Rowena’s ok. I was going to kill her but instead she blasted me here but that’s okay because apparently, apparently, my son is here!”

Sam’s eyes flashed to you as Lucifer continued talking. He picked up his bag, ready to leave before Lucifer showed him the vampires he was keeping at bay. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Lucifer was going to Jack and hopefully by this point Jack would be with Dean, Cas and Gabriel. You just hoped Sam came with you, it really was the only way out of here. You watched as Lucifer went to snap his fingers, ready to let the hoard of vampires in.

“What do you want!?” Sam shouted angrily, face showing his emotions clearly. A relationship with his son, that’s what Lucifer claimed to want. Castiel had informed you all of the power this nephilim would hold and how with that power, Lucifer really was unstoppable.

“You’re going to help me. I don’t think he’ll give me a chance unless I come bearing gifts. That’s where you come in, her too but she’s not as important. Hell I could kill you now and it wouldn’t affect my plans.” He said to you, his grip on you tightening. Your eyes darted to Sam’s, betraying the panic you were feeling.

He turned his attention back to Sam, his grip on you not easing. “Apocalypse world, Michaels armies, you really think you and your family can handle that stuff alone. You need me.” Lucifer told him and as much as you hated to admit it, the more archangels you had on your side the better.

“And what if I say no?” Your whole body went cold as Sam said that. You understood him not wanting to work with Lucifer but right now there wasn’t a choice. He’d never get away from the vampires without the help of the archangel. Sam just had to play along long enough to get back to the group.

“All right, let me just make this really really easy, easy enough for even you to understand Sammy. I’m getting to Jack, one way or another. The only question is, you coming?”

-

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Lucifer kept an arm on you as he pushed Sam forward, letting the group see him first before his dramatic appearance. You hadn’t known the man very long, a day at most, but you hated him. You saw the confusion on Castiel’s face, the smile that spread across Jack’s face and squeezed your eyes shut. Nothing could go right for them, could it?

Once Lucifer could see Sam held everyone’s attention, he pulled you around with him causing the general gaze to shift from Sam to you two. You could see Dean’s face clearly and regretted ever stepping through that doorway.

“Hello, son.” Lucifer smirked. You turned to glare up at Lucifer as he dragged you over to stand near Cas, Gabriel and Jack. You could see the innocent act coming out again as Jack looked at his father.

“How did you get in here?” Castiel asked, his eyes flickering to you in question. You shook your head.

“Oh, she didn’t let me go, no, no, I managed that all on my own. In fact, she came in before me.” You closed your eyes again, looking down at the floor as Lucifer spoke.

Dean stepped forward once Lucifer began to talk to Jack, not allowing the archangel anywhere near him. Lucifer began talking, something he was good at, getting into people’s minds. You could see Jack's face, angry but curious. Once Jack flashed out, Dean began to shout at Lucifer.

After Lucifer had been restrained with handcuffs, Dean’s pulled you away from him and the group.

“What the hell, Y/N!? What were you thinking? First I tell you don’t come in here and then you what? You team up with Lucifer? God, he could have killed you!” Dean shouted angrily, fingers running through short hair.

“I- I know, ok, I know he could have killed me,” your hand went up to your neck where he held you, “I know. I came in here and he was still restrained. I was here for less than two minutes when he came in! I don’t know what happened. I’m not working with Lucifer, Dean I had to, I couldn’t let you come here. If something happened, God Sam died! I saw him dead, that could have been you too! And you wouldn’t have known that I, that I,” You let out a sob as tears fell down your face, it wasn’t often you cried but after everything that had happened you couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face.

“Ok, Ok, c’mere,” Dean said as he pulled you in for a hug. “I’m not mad, it’s just I cannot lose you, Y/N/N. God, it bad enough Sam died in here, if I’d lost both of you I couldn’t, I don’t know what I’d do. I didn’t think these would be the circumstances when I confessed but the truth is,” he began, pulling away to wipe at your eyes, making sure you were looking at him before he continued, “being with you scares me. But not being with you…terrifies me.”

“I love you too. I have for so long but in our life, it’s hard to care about someone this much, yet alone love them. But I want that, with you Dean. I really do.” Your tears had started to slow as Dean wiped them before leaning in and kissing you softly. It was sweeter than what you imagined but considering the circumstances, it was exactly what you both needed. It didn’t last long, Dean pulled away and rested his head on your forehead. “I swear when we get back to our world, I’m not letting you go. I’m gonna treat you right.” He wrapped his arm around you before placing a kiss on your head.

There was still a lot to figure about, both with your relationship and the current situation. 31 hours wasn’t a lot of time but if anyone could figure out a way, it was the Winchesters.

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You sat in the bunker, glass in hand as you took in the sight. The bunker was flooded with people from the apocalypse world, Rowena had managed to get everyone back safely, everyone but Gabriel and Lucifer. Your heart ached for Gabriel, all that time on the run, the time spent being tortured by Asmodeus, it would have been nice for him to stay, live his life instead of running. You watched with a fond smile as Sam spoke to Rowena, hopefully the youngest Winchester would let himself have a slice of happiness. Sam moved to stand by Dean and Cas talking quietly before Dean’s gaze moved to you, before he could move to you apocalypse world Bobby took a minute to toast Sam and Dean.

“Hey. There’s a diner not too far away. How’d you guys feel about burgers?” Mary asked the group, Jack, Sam, Cas, Dean and you. After everyone approved you all headed to the garage. It was a tight squeeze in the back but you and Dean rode up front, hands intertwined tightly together. Looking behind you,  you saw Sam looking between you with a grin on his face. Sometimes, in moments like this, you could pretend things were normal, like you hadn’t just been in an entirely different universe. Like you were allowed to be happy. You rested your head on Dean’s shoulder and he placed a kiss upon your head before turning his attention back to the road.

Maybe you couldn’t have that white picket fence, apple pie life but looking around the Impala you realised, maybe you don’t need that to be happy and have a family. As long as you were together, you were happy even fighting side by side chopping off vampires heads and killing other worldly angels. Being with Dean, being happy with Dean, scared you. But not being with him...terrifies you.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

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Requested by @victoriasagittariablack

Prompts - Iron - ‘We work together on this movie/show but we broke up and now our characters are romantically involved.’ & Auburn -  we’re both heading home for the holidays but our plane ends up snowed in at the airport. You have soft blankets and i have snacks, and in the end it doesn’t turn out so bad. & Primrose - “But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

A/N - I literally write Rob Benedict or Matt Cohen as the readers best friend in  all my SPN real people fics so, sorry! Trinity is your character’s name on the show.

Working with someone you were dating had its ups and downs. You had never tried to keep this information a secret, you’d spoken about it honestly when prompted at panels and interviews. Sometimes being around your girlfriend, Ruth Connell, all day and night was great, you savoured the moments you spent with her. At the same time though it was hard, sometimes you had arguments and then you had to work with each other like nothing was wrong, other times it was just a bit overwhelming to spend near on 24 hours a day with somebody. 

You had problems, every couple did, you tried to keep it real both publicly and privately. That’s why you were a bit lost at the moment. The Supernatural cast were all together at a convention, Ruth, you, Jared, Jensen, Richard, Rob, Mark (Pellegrino & Sheppard), Matt and a few others out of the main cast. 

You where sat on the bed of the hotel room that you and Ruth were sharing. Tears welled in your eyes but you absolutely refused to let them fall. Ruth stood across from you, leaning back against the dressing table, looking just as good as you felt.

Ruth had continued an argument you two had been having before catching a plane out here together, about how you two were drifting apart and then she said the words, the words that made your heart clench and your eyes water. ‘Are we even working together anymore? I mean, would it be easier if we broke up?’ 

And now here you were. Begging yourself not to cry as you climbed off the bed and over to your suitcases, thankfully you hadn’t had a chance to unpack. 

“Y/N, where’re you going?” She asked as you went to leave, before you turned to look at her you squeezed your eyes shut. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“I’m not staying in here Ruth. You want to break up, that’s ok, I won’t force you to stay with me but please give me space because I can’t-” You cut yourself off with a sob and saw Ruth move towards you. You shook your head and left the room, feeling like the walls were closing in on you.

Sure your relationships had its ups and downs but you never ever wanted it to end. You loved Ruth, still do, madly. You dreaded the thought of going into work after the convention, your characters would begin to date on the show, how difficult was that going to be? 

Once you got a safe enough distance away from your old room you broke, tears fell down your face and sobs escaped even as you tried to muffle them. You had no idea what to do, it was a convention and everyone was staying in the same hotel, though some had to stay in another one due to this one being full. You’d never get a room.

“Wow, Y/N! What’s wrong?” You couldn’t speak but gladly welcomed the arms that wrapped around you tightly, letting your cry your eyes out into their shoulder. Rob your mind supplied as you cried. God, this was so embarrassing. 

He gently eased you out of the hug some minutes later, not wanting you to be in the corridor were anyone could see you. Rob looked at the suitcases by your side and his eyebrows knitted together in both confusion and concern. The safest thing to do was to bring you to his room until he knew what was wrong.

“Come on, let’s go.” He said softly, grabbing the suitcases for you and leading you back to his room.

He sat you on the bed and shot a text to Richard telling him he wasn’t go to make lunch and he sat with you. He pulled you back into a hug and let you just sit and cry.

It was about ten minutes later when you had calmed down enough to talk. You pulled back from him, letting him wipe the mix of tears, massacre and foundation from your face as you did. God, he must think you’re such as mess right now.

“Sorry.” You managed to whisper causing him to look at you like you’d grown two heads.

“What are you sorry for? Y/N/N, you know you can talk to me, right? What happened?” 

Wiping your own face, you took a deep breath and told Rob everything. The increase in arguments, the distance that had grown between you even though you were always together, the anger, the pain, the stress. Everything. To Rob’s credit he sat there whilst you vented, whilst you got angry then sad, and listened to every word.

“You know,” he began, “it’s not healthy for a couple to be around each other for that amount of time. It’s normal that you’re both getting frustrated because well, I guess, you’re so focused on trying not to, uh, not to ignore each other that you put too much pressure on spending time with each other.”

You took in what he said and you agreed whole heartedly, it wasn’t right and you were getting stressed out because of it.

“I know but, ugh, I got this job before I started dating Ruth, you know? It would have been different if we had been dating before but we weren’t. And Rob, this job, it’s my dream job! I can’t give that up. I love her but God, tell me what to do.” You said with a pout, causing him to laugh.

“Ok, ok, you wanna know what to do?” He asked, a slight grin playing on his face. You’d been friends with Rob since the first day you started on Supernatural, he was one of your best friends and you trusted him a hell of a lot. 

“Yes, tell me!”

“You come out with me, Rich and Matt tonight. You have a good time and you do your panels and photo ops like you normally would. You have a good time at this con and then we’ll figure something out before filming, yeah?” You thought about it. It didn’t seem like the most responsible, mature, response to your problems but it sure sounded good. Who could blame you if you just took one night to yourself, one night to focus on you before over thinking and stressing about everything? Besides, you’d asked Rob what to do, it’d be rude not to listen,

“Let’s do it.”

-

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 You had freshened up your makeup and put on one of your outfits that you’d packed before heading downstairs, arms locked with Rob. 

You hadn’t actually seen anyone apart from Ruth and Rob, focusing mainly on checking in and throwing your suitcases in the room before doing so. Clearly there was a change in events but once the elevator opened and you saw people you knew dotted around you relaxed, a genuine smile making its way onto your face. You looked to your left when you heard a whistle.

“Look at you, gorgeous.” You grinned when you saw Rich leaning against the wall near the elevator and made your way over to him, greeting him with a hug and a kiss of the cheek. 

“Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Speight.” You told him causing him to laugh and throw an arm over your shoulder. You knew Rob had told Rich and Matt what had happened but you were relieved when Rich didn’t mention anything.

“Wow, where’s my hug?” You rolled your eyes but stepped out of Richard’s hold to wrap your arms around Matt. He gave you a tight squeeze as he kissed your temple causing a lump to build in your throat, ignoring it the best you could, you pulled back and smiled at him. 

The four of you headed out of the hotel you were staying at and headed to one of the many bars nearby. Matt offered to buy the first round and before you knew it the first round was gone and many later there was a new set of shots being placed before you. You threw each of them back before grinning at Richard.

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You woke the next morning with a groan, eyebrows knitting together when you heard someone laugh and somebody else shush them. You slowly peeled your eyes open, screwing them shut again at the light, before opening them again and seeing Richard and Rob on the bed with you. Rich looked as good as you felt whereas Rob looked fine. You shot a glare at him before sitting up.

“Morning sunshine, ready for your panels this afternoon?” Rob laughed causing you to groan. You, Ruth, Kim and Briana had a group panel later on this afternoon and the thought of it made you feel worse than the hangover. There was no way you were cancelling though, you knew the fans spent so much money to be here and you wouldn’t ever disappoint them like that.

“God, Robbie do my panel for me.” You pleaded as you leaned against Rich’s shoulder, his head falling on yours.

“I would if I could.” He told you and you groaned. This was going to be the longest panel of your life but you had to do it, just grin and bear it. What could go wrong?

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“So, Y/N, your character Trinity and Rowena are finally getting together this season, something the fans have been wanting since you were introduced to each other. I was just wondering what that means for your real life relationship and how do you feel that the writers added that relationship in?”

Everything. That’s what could go wrong. 

You’d taken a shower and some headache tablets, finding the hang over wasn’t actually that bad once you’d freshened up and ate. You’d gotten ready and walked over to the convention centre with Rob, Rich and Matt who had their own panels. 

You’d greeted Kim and Briana with hugs but then stopped when you saw Ruth, you felt like you needed to be professional but it really hurt. Kim and Briana noticed the tension but thankfully said nothing, whether Ruth had told them or not you had no idea.

You always felt you were quite honest. You let the public in on such a huge part of your life, tried not to have too many secrets for people to exploit but now, after listening to, what was it, Sasha’s question you had no idea what to do. You couldn’t say your relationship was great because that was bull and you had no  idea what you relationship was anymore. Sure you broke up but what more than that. Could you ever be friends with the women you love?

“Good question. You know I think it’s amazing that girls have these two very strong-minded women to look up to and see that yes they’re lesbian and bisexual but that doesn’t have to define you or hold you back. I like how the writers don’t base a character of their sexuality, meaning that like even with Charlie, you know, the way she was announced as lesbian was so chill and not her defining quality. I think it’s going to be important for people to have these characters to look up to and aspire to be like.” You said honestly, that part of the question was great, loved it, it was just the other half. You paused whilst everyone cheered, including your costars on the stage.

“When it comes to mine and Ruth’s relationship, honestly, I can’t answer it because we haven’t had a chance to explore Trinity and Rowena yet. Either it will be just like filming is now or it could have some affect. I really don’t know the answer to that yet.” People cheered once you answered and you let out a sigh of relief, smiling at Kim as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and squeezed. Ok then, they definitely knew. You couldn’t be mad though, after all you’d told Rob and given permission for him to tell Rich and Matt.

-

-

-

Thankfully the rest of your panels for the weekend pasted fairly quickly and without incident. Now you were all headed to the airport together, most of you heading to Vancouver but some like Matt, Kim and Briana were heading home. 

The thought of filming was filling you with dread but still you knew you had to act professional. So many people looked up to your character, and to you, and you knew you had to prevail. This was your job, there was no time to get caught up in personal drama. You knew when you began dating Ruth that there was always that chance you two could break up and you’d just had to deal with it.

Sighing to yourself you got out of the car, picked your suitcases up and checked in, saying your goodbyes to Matt who headed towards a different terminal. You sat with Rob and Richard, squeezing Richard’s hand to try to soothe some of the anxiety he was feeling over flying. 

You looked over and saw Ruth was sat with Jared, Jensen and Misha. You couldn’t help but frown. You’d asked for space and she’d given it to you so why were you feeling so, so, God you couldn’t even explain what you were feeling. That was frustrating, everything about this situation was frustrating. 

Taking your hand out of Richard’s you stood up and grabbed your bag.

“Where you going?” Rob asked quietly, giving you a smile as he did. You smiled back before answering.

“The plane doesn’t get her for another hour and a half, two hours. I’m just gonna go stretch my legs.” He nodded at you before turning back to Rich.

You chanced one more glance at Ruth, who was watching you with sad eyes before she turned back to Jared who was saying something to the group.

With a frown you walked away from your costars and friends before heading to one of the coffee shops that were in the airport and ordering a hot drink to fight the slight chill you felt in the winter weather. 

You couldn’t even get a chance to come to terms with everything. You were aware you were constantly in the spotlight, whether it was paps or fans, someone had a camera and if you broke down in a Costa coffee shop it would definitely be front page on Twitter’s news section.

Two weeks of filming, that was it until you wrapped for Christmas and then you were back at it again for another six months, so the new season was ready for next October. God, two more weeks until you were alone. You hadn’t even thought about where you were staying, currently you and Ruth had a cute place in California that you stayed at when you weren’t in the UK, Canada or another state filming. 

“This is such a mess.” You mumbled to yourself.

You looked up when you heard a delicate voice saying your name hesitantly. 

“May I sit with you?” Ruth stood with her own hot cup of tea, looking at you with hopeful eyes. You figured you’d have to talk to her before you started filming and this was as good a time as any.

You nodded and gestured to the seat in front of you which she took.

“Look, Y/N, what I said-” You cut her off.

“You were right. It wasn’t working, Ruth, but now we’ve got a job to do and people depending on us.”

“I know but we can get past this right? At least speak to each other when we’re in the same room without a script? This is the longest we’ve gone without talking to each other, dear.” 

“Maybe one day but it hurts too much now.”

-

-

-

Filming was back in full swing, today you were filming episode three. You were shooting five scenes today, four of them involve you and Ruth. One scene was you two sort of coming out to Sam and Dean but not really. There was no official coming out but it was obvious you two were dating, you and Jensen would have a scene together later were you’d talk about it whilst researching. You loved how coming out for your characters on the show was done so naturally, no need to explicitly come out and everyone was accepting. 

Thankfully, Richard Speight was directing the episode and you felt a bit more at ease.

“Y/N, to set.” You headed over, hugging Rich when you saw him and got into position. 

“Ready. Episode 3, Scene 6, take 1 and action.”

Trinity walked into the room, coming to a halt when she saw Rowena stood behind the table with a book and some ingredients in front of her. You turned to Sam with a raised eyebrow.

“She agreed to help us find a way with the book.” You shrugged your shoulders at him before making you way over to Rowena. You stopped before her and she paused in her chopping, looking over at you. 

“Hey.” You grinned at her before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. God this felt right, you couldn’t help but think. It brought tears to your eyes as you felt that constant feeling of hurt stab through you. Pulling away from the kiss, the grin still plastered on your face, Rowena reached over and brushed some hair out of your face.

“Hey yourself.” She greeted before turning back to her work. 

“Mind giving me a hand, dearie? Grind those for me.” She gestured over to the mortar and pestle that had some ingredients in it. You reached for it with a shaky hand that you hoped the camera didn’t pick up and got to work. You knew this was going to be hard, you thought as the others around you spoke their lines, but not this hard.

You somehow managed to get scene 6 done in only a few takes before they were ready for you on the other set stage. This was your scene with Jensen, or Dean.

“So,” he began, a smirk settling on his face, “you and Rowena, huh?” You grinned at Dean whilst simultaneously rolling your eyes.

“Shut up.” You warned.

“No, no, I gotta ask. Gotta make sure my girls not gonna get hurt.” 

You let out a laugh, it should have been humorous but it came out more like a choked sob. 

You clenched your eyes together before hearing Rich call cut. 

“Sorry.” You choked out before Jensen wrapped his arms around you.

“S’alright, nothing to be sorry about. Let’s take a quick pause, yeah?” You nodded against his chest feeling stupid, you were the one banging on about getting your job done yet here you were crying on set whilst shooting a scene. 

Richard came over and handed you some water, holding your shoulder as he did. You thanked him and gulped it down before taking a deep breath. You were aware Ruth was on set, could see her looking at you if you looked to the side hard enough.

“Sorry, I’m ok.” Jensen and Rich both looked like they doubted you but got back into place.

“Take it from your line for me Jens.” Richard said. 

“Episode 3, Scene 8, take 2 and action.”

“No, no, I gotta ask. Gotta make sure my girls not gonna get hurt.” Dean repeated and you let out the laugh you were supposed to.

“First of all, not your girl,” You said with a fake glare, causing him to laugh. “Second of all, she’s not gonna hurt me and if she does, trust me I can handle it myself.”

“Yeah, I know you can. Doesn’t mean I gotta like it though. My girls growing up on me, dating 300 year old witches. What is it with this family and Supernatural creatures, I mean Sam and Ruby, you had the hots for Lucifer-”

“I did not!” You denied, rolling your eyes at him.

“Yeah, sure, ok, let’s go with that.” He laughed. “You happy with her?” Here you got choked up but recovered swiftly.

“You know what Dean, I am, I really am. Never thought I’d get to experience what I’m feeling in this life but with Rowena, it’s, it’s, God Dean I can’t describe it but I think I could really love her one day.” You painted a love-sick grin on your face, letting it fade slightly once Jensen drew you in for a hug.

“If you’re happy then I’m happy, kiddo.”

“And cut. Beautiful guys, beautiful.”

-

-

-

That was the longest two weeks of your life. You’d had to kiss Ruth more times than you could count and it hurt more and more each time, like a knife twisted each time you kissed. Your friends were supportive and you were so thankful for them.

You were even more thankful that the two weeks was up and you were finally heading back to California. It had started snowing in Vancouver and you wanted to get out before the snow storm hit. 

Your flight was the same one Ruth was taking. Considering you were going the same place it made sense but still you felt sad. The anger had faded and now you were just sad. This was also the first time in a long time you had nobody to go back to when you finished filming and it sucked.

-

-

-

You often told yourself you could get through things life threw at you. Always asked yourself ‘what could possibly go wrong?’ and then guess what happened, everything went bloody wrong.

Take now for example, filming was shaky at best but now you were heading home. What could possibly go wrong? Right. Everything. Everything could go wrong.

The snow storm had hit and now you were snowed in at the airport. Literally no way home and you weren’t dressed for the winter chill that could be felt from within the airport, no you had a thin pair of sweats, a t-shirt and light jacket on because you thought you’d be stepping off the plane to be greeted by California’s weather. Nope.

 You’d been at the airport an hour when you couldn’t take the cold anymore. You had stood up and started pacing after an announcement had been made that it looked like everyone was stuck here at least overnight and tomorrow. The snow was heavy enough to lock you in the airport, that’s the last time I ask myself what could possibly go wrong.

Ruth looked at you with sad eyes. She knew you hated the cold. Winter mornings were some of her favourite moments with you, when you pouted at her to stay in bed with you and you’d cuddle up together underneath a thick duvet and a mountain of soft blankets on top of you. Some morning TV playing quietly as you warmed up, gently, lazy kisses shared as you spoke about everything and nothing at the same time. Why had she let you go? 

“Y/N.” Ruth’s voice made you look up. You saw her pull out some blankets from her overnight bag she packed, a bag filled with things that would be useful in case of an emergency such as this. You always told her she’d never need it, you’d never been so glad to be wrong.

“Come here.” You obeyed her and sat next to her, grimacing slightly as you sat on the floor but sighed happily as two blankets were place over you. She frowned as you shivered and ended up taking her coat off and making you wear if, even though you protested, though truth be told they were half-hearted at best and she could see that. It made her grin.

“I have snacks.” You told her, pulling your own bag close and pulling out some of your favourite snacks. You gave her a bag and got one for yourself. 

“You know, if you had let me finish that day in Costa, I would have told you that I didn’t actually want to break up. Blimey, I love you dear. I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve love you but with work and everything it’s just been one stressful day after another and I guess it snowballed into something bigger.” 

You turned to looked at her and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your red nose and the pink blanket that was pulled tight and tucked under your chin. 

“You really didn’t want to break up with me?” God you sounded like a twelve-year-old with her first boyfriend or something. 

“Of course not, look at ya. I’d be a fool to let you go.”

“I tried to hate you,” You said honestly, watching her face fall, “I did. I thought it’d be easier to deal with but mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” Her face lit up as she laughed softly. 

“I’m sorry, dearie, for even suggesting we break up. You think we could still be together? We communicate more, tell the other when they need space and just try to make things a bit better.” You thought about it, there was nothing to think about though. You loved this women and couldn’t picture yourself with anyone else.

“Yeah,” you said with a grin, “I think we can make it work.” She rolled her eyes at you, smiling just as widely at you as you were her. Without thinking about it you leaned forward, kissing her softly and savouring every second of it. Kissing her as Rowena had been agony but now it was pure bliss.

When you pulled away, you both just stared at each other, smiling like two love-sick puppies.

“Ok now that we’re back together, will you please cuddle me? I’m freezing!” You exclaimed causing her to laugh but do as you said, placing a kiss to your head as she did.

Things were far from perfect, there was no denying that, but with a little work and communication what could possibly go wrong?

Keep Me Closer (Part One)

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Warnings - Mentions of death (minor characters)

Pairings - Pre Sam Winchester x Reader

Requested - @may85 ~  Hey Hun! Can I get 11 and 14 with Sam Winchester please? 👻

Prompts - 11 - “Hey, keep your eyes on me.” Is it behind me? “Just, just look at me, yeah, everything’s going to be OK.” & 14 “So we’re dealing with a (supernatural creature), great, just great!”

It started with one death, the death of Amelia Smith, she’d been your roommate and had been bullied terribly. You hadn’t helped much but you still felt the overwhelming guilt when you had read she had killed herself.

Since then the people who bullied her had started going missing and then turning up dead, looking like they’d been severely tortured beforehand. You couldn’t help but think it was more than just a creepy coincidence but you couldn’t think of reasonable explanation for the deaths.

There were at least seven main bullies, so far three of them had turned up dead. After reading reports that were being released to the public it seemed that the girls went missing for three days before showing it, it was one of the many consistencies in all the deaths. Each victim had had her tongue cut off and significant blood loss.

It was safe to say you were ready to flee town.

-

-

-

“New case Sammy, not sure what we’re dealing with yet but it’s definitely our type of gig.” Dean said as he walked into the motel they were staying at.

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked, not looking up from his laptop.

“Yeah, so people have been going missing, so far all college girls, for three days and showing up dead with no tongue and their intestines twisted into knots.” Here Sam looked up with a disgusted look causing Dean to nod in agreement. “They’ve also got stab wounds. So you ready to head out?”

“Yeah sure. Hey, where’s the case?” Sam questioned as he closed the laptop and began packing up his belongings, Dean following in suit.

“Stanford University.” Dean told him with a grin. Sam’s eyes widened and he looked like he was going to protest but Dean was quick to interrupt. “It’ll be alright Sammy, no demons, should be an easy case. In and out.”

-

-

-

Something was definitely happening at Stanford. Another girl had gone missing, it was the second day since she’d been reported gone and the police were no closer to finding her than they were the other girls, meaning the fourth girl was probably going to show up dead tomorrow.

A knock on your door made you stop working on the project you had due in next week. Even though everything seemed to be going to hell you still needed the grades and couldn’t let this affect your life.

“Hi there, I’m Agent Mercury, he’s Agent Taylor, FBI,  we’re here to ask you some questions about a Miss Amelia Smith. Do you have a moment?” The smaller of the two spoke but you ignored him in favour of looking at the taller.

“Agent Taylor, huh?” You asked, voice full of humour. “Gotta say I preferred Winchester.” You saw the confusion on ‘Agent Mercury’s’ face whereas Sam looked at you with a wide smile, albeit a bit shocked.

“Y/N?” He asked, stepping past his friend and over to you. You instantly wrapped him in a hug, not realising until now how much you’d missed your friend. Sure you had kept in contact with one another after he left but it wasn’t the same. He pulled out of the hug and before he could talk you began to question him.

“What’re you doing here? What’s with the fake FBI act? Are you staying? Did you hear about the killings?” Sam placed a hand on your shoulder and shushed you with a grin.

“Let’s go inside and talk yeah? By the way, that’s my brother Dean.” He told you before entering your room fully and taking a seat at your desk chair. You gestured for his brother to come in too and he took a seat on the edge of your bed.

“So what’s going on?” You asked Sam.

“Well, we think we can help with the investigation they’re doing on Amelia, hence the fake FBI act. Can you tell us anything at all about the deaths?” You couldn’t help but be a bit shocked that former law student, who managed to get a full scholarship to Stanford, Sam Winchester was now breaking many laws by pretending to be the FBI but didn’t question it for now, it could wait.

“Well Amelia was my roommate. We knew each other for about a year, she was in my class, the criminal law one. Um, there’s one thing I noticed, the girls that have been going missing and then showing up dead used to bully her a lot. I knew about it, hard not to when you were living with her but I didn’t do anything about it. I tried to be there for her but she was too far gone and then one day she killed herself, few days after that the deaths started happening.” You watched as Sam and Dean looked at each other, wordlessly conversing and understanding everything the other said. Dean shrugged and turned to you.

“Thank you, Y/N, you’ve been very helpful. C’mon Sam, we gotta go.” Dean said as he stood up and headed to the door.

“Wait, you’re just leaving?” You asked looking at Sam.

“We’re in town for a few days but then, yeah, we’ll probably head out.” He told you with a slight frown, making no move to leave your room.

“What happened to you? I know Jess died and I know you couldn’t stand to be here, hell I get that but what happened after that? You’re going around pretending to be the FBI! That’s not the Sam Winchester I knew!” You snapped, wanting answers from your friend.

“I can’t tell you because it’s better you don’t know and you wouldn’t believe me anyway.” He told you cryptically.

“Seriously, that’s all I get. Come on Sam, tell me what you’ve been doing since you left.” You were frustrated, you cared about him and knew him when he was happy and ready to get through law school, ready to have a life.

“I can’t!” He snapped at you.

“Why?” You snapped back, aware his brother had stepped forward to attempt to defuse the situation.

“Because if I tell you, you’ll end up like Jessica!” Sam yelled, his breathing heavy and his eyes misted over. You quickly became quiet, reaching out to hold his hand.

“Sam, you gottta tell me what you’re doing. I’m worried about you.” You pleaded with him softly.

“I can’t, I’m sorry but I can’t.” With that he stood up and left the room causing you to look down with a sad, defeated look.

-

-

-

“You ok?” Dean asked after a long period of silence, they had left the flat you were at and found at motel before beginning their research.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Sam lied knowing it was pointless because Dean could see through him.

“Yeah, stupid question. Let’s just finish this case and get the hell out of here.” He said, holding his beer bottle up to Sam.

“I’ll drink to that.” With a clink of the bottles the boys gulped down their drinks.

Sam scrolled through pages of lore before coming across one that sounded promising. He read over the article a few times before mentioning it to Dean but it was all there, the cutting of the tongue, knotted intestines, puncture wounds.

“I think I found what we’re dealing with.” He announced, causing Dean to look up and close his laptop slightly, “It sounds like it’s a Kanaima.”

“A kana-what?” Dean asked, eyebrows knitted together as he tried to remember if he’d read about it in dad’s journal.

“A Kanaima. The lore says Kanaima are avenging spirits or humans possessed by said spirits. Kanaima are shape-shifters and can appear in a variety of forms.  Kanaima attack and kill their victims in retaliation for some injustice. In order to accomplish their goal, Kanaima will possess the bodies of animals or people. In such possessed form the host becomes enraged, wild, and will violently attack it’s victims. Kanaima are not above harming or killing the friends, family, and loved-ones of it’s victim. They live in the forests and become feral. An interesting aspect of the Kanaima is that it seeks the painful suffering of it’s victim and will not kill its victim outright. Instead, the Kanaima works it so that the victim dies a painful death three days after it’s attack. During this process the Kanaima slashes the tongue of its victim so that he/she cannot speak of what is occurring. Victims of the Kanaima often die from having their intestines twisted up into knots. The Kanaima must perform a strange ritual that includes the ingesting of the victims blood on the third night after the death of the victim. The ritual includes the stabbing of the corpse with a special staff or stick of wood and then licking-off the blood or fluids clinging to the stick when it is pulled from the body.”

““So we’re dealing with a Kanaima, great, just great! Does it say how to kill it?” Dean asked, taking another swig of his drink.

“Um, defences against a Kanaima are…unknown.” Sam finished with a sigh.

“I’ll call Bobby to start researching and we can go hunt ourselves a Kanaima.”

-

-

-

Taking a short cut through the woods was probably one of the worst ideas you’d had. Everything looked so much more threatening when one was alone in the woods after sun down and every noise made you jump. Though you knew you were alone you couldn’t help but feel like you were being watched and it sent a shiver up your shine.

You were so close to the forests exit when something grabbed you from behind, you let out a piercing scream before a large hand placed itself over your mouth, effectively cutting off your scream.

“Relax, it’s me.” The hand on your shoulder turned you around and you came face to face with Sam, glaring at him instantly.

“Dude! Who grabs somebody in the woods!” You fumed, turning you glare onto his brother who was still laughing from your fright.

“Sorry but what are you doing in the woods alone!? People are going missing and you’re just-” Sam cut himself off when a loud scream could be heard. He took one look at Dean and the pair were instantly running towards the source.

“Stay there!” Sam yelled over his shoulder and, yeah, like hell you were just going to stay here alone. The safer option would be to stick with the two people who seemed to have some clue of what was going on.

You quickly caught up with them but the three of you came to a halt when you saw a women with greasy, untamed hair, ripped clothing and dirt on her skin. Your eyes left her and you saw the fourth missing girl, blood trickling from her mouth causing you to assume the scream was from her tongue being cut out.

“Oh my God.” You muttered, face turning dangerously pale. Sam and Dean whipped around to face you with angry eyes.

“What part of stay there didn’t you get?” Dean snapped before look back at the two women. Sam was looking at you with concern but you couldn’t look away from the scene in front of you. The dirty women hadn’t noticed you yet and neither had the fourth missing girl.

“Did Bobby get back to you yet?” Sam asked urgently.

“Yeah, I got it here.” Dean replied unzipping his bag and pulling out two silver knives dipped in what looked like blood, the thought made you grimace.

“One stab to the heart, one to the head.” Dean told him as he passed Sam the knife.

“You take the head, I’ll get the heart and you,” he said turning to you, “please stay there.” You nodded at him, not daring to speak in fear on what could happen.

You watched as Sam and Dean crept forward and the woman let out and screech that was definitely not human before fleeing past them. They began to look around frantically before Dean’s gaze froze on you.

“Sam.” Dean’s voice was croaky as he got Sam’s attention, Sam immediately looked towards you his own eyes widening.

“Hey, keep your eyes on me.” Sam told you, his voice shaking as he looked sickly pale.

“Is it behind me?” You asked frightfully. Sam gulped before answering.

“Just, just look at me, yeah, everything’s going to be OK.” Behind you the Kanaima had pulled out the bow and arrow the lore had mentioned and was getting ready to shoot it at you before Dean snuck up behind it just in time to stab the knife through the Kanaima’s head and quickly through the heart.

Sam’s whole body physically relaxed as he let out a sigh of relief which told you everything you needed to know, you were safe.

“Oh my God.” You muttered again and Sam took a few steps forward before wrapping his arms around your shaking body.

“It’s ok, you’re ok, it’s ok, you’re good.” Sam muttered into your hair, gripping you tightly as though you would disappear. You appreciated the tight grip he had on you, needing the support right now.

-

-

-

Dean had called in the police and the three of you fled the scene before the showed up. The three of you were now sat in the boys motel room, a hot drink in each of your hands.

“So you’re telling me that monsters and all that Supernatural stuff really exists?” You asked sceptically.

“Yeah. Jessica was killed by the same demon that killed our mom and ever since I left Stanford we’ve been saving people, hunting things, the family business.” He told you with a slight laugh, you saw the smile Dean had on his face, a sad smile, as he looked at his brother.

“That’s insane!” You exclaimed, “I mean, demons, ghosts, Kanaima’s. Are vampires real? What about werewolves?” You questioned rapidly causing Sam to laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, vampires, demons, they’re all real.” He told you with a grin.

“So you’re going to be gone soon? Back on the road?” You asked, the relaxed atmosphere becoming more serious.

“Yeah I am. This is my life now and, yeah, it’s not always great but I love it.” He told you sincerely before continuing, “but I promise I’ll come down here more often and visit, I didn’t realise just how much I missed you until I came back.” You smiled softly at him before telling him you missed him too and he better come back.

-

-

-

Saying goodbye to Sam was harder than you’d thought it’d be. The boys dropped you back off at Stanford, Sam getting out of the car with you and walking you to the doors of the building.

“This isn’t goodbye you know, I’ll see you around Agent Taylor.” You told him with a smirk.

“Oh trust me, I’m counting on it, Miss Y/L/N.” He replied before his eyes turned sad.

“Hey, none of that. You have my number, you know where I live. Just, just make sure you keep your promise and come visit, yeah? And don’t leave it until there’s a few deaths, visit whenever you want.” You told him seriously and he nodded at you.

“I will, I promise I’ll be back. See you soon,Y/N.” He said as he wrapped you in a tight hug and placed a kiss on you head. You waved him off as he walked back to the Impala, a small smile threatening to break into a grin played on your face.

“See you soon, Sam Winchester.”

I Wish That I Was Good Enough

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Warnings - Season 15 spoilers, episode 3 spoilers - please don’t read if you haven’t watched episode 3, I really don’t want to be the reason that it has been spoiled for you! Angst.

Requested - anon - please do one were the reader comforts cas and goes off with him after that mess of an episode!!  Please

Hunting with the Winchesters had never been easy, there was always a next big threat but somehow the lot of you had managed. Right now as you sat in the car on the way back to the bunker, the tension thick and uncomfortable, you wondered how you were going to survive. Sure Rowena had sacrificed herself but you knew it wouldn’t be that easy, something big was yet to come. Tears filled your eyes as you thought of Rowena but you quickly blinked them away, this wasn’t the time for tears, you could cry when you were alone.

Sam was sat quietly, staring out of the window, Dean’s hands were turning white as he gripped the wheel angrily, Castiel sat next to you alternating between looking at Sam in concern and Dean in sadness. Without drawing too much attention to yourself you reached over and grabbed Castiel’s hand in yours, you knew Dean blamed him but you also trusted that Castiel did what he had to do and knowing that he had killed Belphegor, who was wearing Jack’s corpse taking away the slight hope Jack would come back, well that had you believing in Castiel’s decision even more. 

The drive back to the bunker dragged but eventually you were all climbing out of the car and separating from the entrance. You watched as Castiel and Sam wandered off down the hall, parting ways quickly. Dean stood slightly in front of you, concern written clearly on his features as his eyes followed his little brother. He let out a sigh before following Sam, leaving you to stand alone. You decided that you’d find Castiel, Dean was comforting Sam so that was covered but Castiel needed somebody too.

-

-

-

“I killed him.” Castiel told you before you had a chance to speak. 

“Yeah I know but I don’t think you would’ve done it unless you had to.” You told him honestly, you still didn’t know exactly what had gone down but you believed what you said.

“He was going to consume every soul, take over Hell, Earth, everything. I couldn’t- Y/N, I couldn’t let him. I’m sorry about Rowena, truly I am, but-” Castiel’s voice was heavy with emotion causing you to frown and step into the room, you sat next to him and took his hand in yours.

“Things always go wrong, nothing goes to plan, not with the Winchesters. But we improvise and we make it work. I’m sorry about Rowena too, she was my friend and I’ll miss her everyday but she made that decision. And Belphegor, he was a demon, he was always going to betray us. You can’t beat yourself up over this Cas.” With a sigh, Castiel turned to you looking utterly broken and you quickly wrapped him in a tight hug. He let you hug him, taking comfort in the tight hold you had on him as he hugged you back before letting go after only a few moments. 

“I should go and speak to Dean.” He informed you as he pulled away from you.

“You think that’s a good idea, Cas? Why not let him cool off?” You tried but knew it was useless, Castiel wouldn’t feel any better until he at least explained himself to Dean.

“No, no, I should go now. Thank you Y/N.” With that he left the room and you couldn’t help but frown in worry at his retreating figure.

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“Something went wrong, you know this, something always goes wrong.” You heard Castiel tell Dean, you weren’t intentionally eavesdropping but you didn’t want to enter the room now either.

“Yeah why does that something always seem to be you?” You heard Dean ask and barely managed to conceal the gasp that left your lips. That was a low blow and Dean had to know it. You could just about see Cas and watched the emotions he was feeling play out on his face, your heart broke for him.

The silence between them was uncomfortable and you just about managed to stop yourself from going into the room to defuse the situation, as messy and cruel as it was they needed to get everything out there. The feelings Dean was carrying around towards Castiel were interfering with everything.

“You used to trust me,” your heart sank further as you listen to Castiel, “give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing, and I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care. I'm dead to you. You still blame me for Mary. Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.”

“Where you going?” Dean asked and you leaned in wanting to know that exact thing.

“Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. Y/N has you both. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

Your eyes filled with tears as you heard Castiel, he considered you family and believing that none of you cared for him, that you were just using him broke your heart. Dean, Sam and you all cared deeply for Castiel no matter what Dean made him believe. Watching Castiel walk out of the door was one of the hardest things you’d witnessed, this coming from a hunter who had seen a whole lot of bad, terrifying, heart wrenching things.

Dean’s eyes were watery when you stepped into the room. He looked up and frowned when he saw the tears sliding down your face with no show of stopping. 

“Y/N.” He started, reaching out to gently grab your arm but you shoved him away. 

“How dare you! You know Castiel would do anything for the Winchester’s, sure he’s fucked up in the past and I’m sorry about your mom, OK, but the way you treated him-” Here you cut yourself off, reaching up to angrily rub the tears from your cheeks before turning away and following the same route Castiel had just taken.

“Hey, where- Y/N, where are you going?” He asked, face hardening as to not portray anything he was feeling though the red around his eyes stood out.

“I’m going with Castiel.” You told him, your tone harsh. 

“Y/N!” Dean called but you were quick to leave the bunker, not even bothering to pack a bag. You had to find Castiel.

Luckily he was still outside the bunker, looking paler and more tired than you’d seen him. Quickly you made you way over to him and wrapped him in another hug, he jolted slightly in your arms, not expecting anyone to have followed him out.

“What are you doing out here?” Castiel asked, voice thick with emotion.

“I heard you and Dean. He had no right to treat you like that Cas-”

“He has every right, he blames me for Mary. Nothing I can do will make that right with him.” He told you, cutting you off. 

“Cas-” You tried but he just shook his head.

“You should go back inside, I will be leaving but I am glad to have seen you one last time.” The sadness was so prominent in his voice causing you to frown and squeeze him tighter.

“I’m not leaving you Castiel, so you either come back inside with me or we both leave. It’s your choice.” You told him, leaving absolutely no room for argument.

“Y/N, I couldn’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking me to do anything Cas, I want to be with you.” You told him, trying desperately to convey your sincerity. You loved the Winchester boys, they were family to you but so was Castiel and he was right, they had each other, it was the way it was suppose to be. Sam and Dean Winchester running the family business, no Castiel, no Y/N. That’s the way the story was supposed to be.

“I cannot go back.” Cas told you causing you to nod and pull away.

“Well then angel, let’s go on our own adventure.” You smiled weakly at him and held your hand out, the smile becoming more genuine as he took your hand in his.

“Where to?” Castiel asked you with his own sad smile.

“Anywhere.” You grinned at him.

You knew that the fight God himself had started was far from over but if the world was going to end then you were going to live life to the fullest and make damn well sure that Castiel did the same. In the life you all lived you couldn’t have regrets, knowing any day would be the last. Castiel squeezed your hand and with that the two of you started a new adventure, one neither of you had ever had before.

Supernatural Masterlist

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- Magic Always Comes With a Price

- Heart to Heart

- Time for a Wedding

- You Might Be Pregnant

- Find Me

- Keep Me Closer

- We Could Stay

- I Wish That I Was Good Enough

- I Really Like Napping With You

- The One I Love, The One I Hate

- Last Chance for Romance

- The Truth

- I'll Stay

- I Know My Value, Anyone Else's Opinion Doesn't Really Matter

- Missing You

- Run Through Walls

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

- Airport Blues

I like to imagine Sam and Rowena used to have secret weekly lunches