Sharksposts - Tumblr Posts
As someone who loves sharks my ears pricked up every time they were mentioned in Wednesday and wierdly enough i think if you read into it as much as me theres some interesting stuff going on.
When wednesday mentions sharks, she is using them as an example of a very dangerous animal, talking about swimming with sharks or sharks "circling" which feed into the common western myth that sharks are evil monster things.
this isn't true at all, almost all sharks are very safe and the few that are dangerous are much less dangerous than many other wild animals (bears, hippos, etc). This (to me) shows how Wednesday's love of macabre and deadly things often leads to a negative outlook on the world, falsely believing that sharks are out to get her.
When gomez talks about sharks he says "they found you as cold-blooded as I do", still leaning into the same macabre and deadly aspect, but putting a positive, kind spin on it, as we would expect from gomez.
When Enid mentions sharks, she's talking about the hockey team the san jose sharks, who, for anyone who doesn't follow hockey, are the worst. That's not an exaggeration they currently have the least points of any team in the nhl. I think the reason that it's mentioned she is a lifelong sharks fan (besides the fact hockey is for cool people in america and enid lives in California) is that it shows unwavering loyalty to a lost cause. Her devotion to the team which is the worst.
To wednesday enid is a shark, dangerous, deadly, scary (because she doesn't know how to be affectionate).
To enid, wednesday is a shark, awful, maybe even the worst, but worth devoting your life to if you love it.
I'd just like to add that the san jose sharks are awesome and do all sorts of community events like pride nights, anti bullying talks at schools, environmental awareness+litter picking drives and they're really awesome in all ways other than being good at the sport they play.
when wednesday is trying to subtly manipulate enid she says "would you look at that full moon" while staring out the window and obviously i know this is part of subtly manipulating enid but also it's hilarious to me that their idea of normal roommate conversations is "wow the moon is so beautiful tonight" like idk that gives me such big love and affection vibes
I have been being very nice to crows recently, just in case any of them turn into a twink with black hair and beautiful eyes that is inexplicably attracted to my odd brand of uptight british autism
AU where percy and annabeth work corporate jobs and both have to start every sentence with "just spitballing here" because every single thing they suggest is fully insane
WAIT FUCK WENCLAIRE'S LIKE WENCLAIR BUT CLAIRES
this just in Claire's ships wenclair lol
Trying to be a better feminist by listening to Lou Bega's mambo number 5 and desperately trying to remember all the names
Monica.. Rita....uh ummm... Angela... Pamela.. Sandra...FUCK uhhh uh.. Erica?
PUMP UP THE MUSIC
PUMP PUMP UP THE MUSIC
PUMP IT UP IF YOU PLEASE
PUMP IT UP AND FREEZE
IFYOURESTILLDANCINGYOULOSTAPOINT
my favourite writer on ao3 (actually just one of my all time favourite authors) ends every chapter with an apology that it took so long and it's like if i woke up from open heart surgery and everything was fine but the surgeon still apologised for taking so long. Like girl you just saved my life i do not care how long it took please look after yourself and don't rush your absolute perfection.
Also they're literally like trying to get into a competitive postgraduate degree program and they aren't even writing any slower than i would expect this incredible work to take i think they might be superhuman ngl.
Bianca: ah shit what's that song called?
Wednesday: I shall Shazam it
Yoko:...
Bianca:...
Divina:...
Yoko:... Does she know how to do that???
Enid (head in her hands, smiling and staring adoringly at Wednesday): No, not at all. She's going to write the song out as sheet music, transpose it to a minor key and slow it down, phone her parents and play it on the cello so they can identify it for her.
Yoko: I'll never understand how you two ended up together.
Enid (sighing): I know, me neither, she's just so perfect 💕
Yoko: That could not be further from what I meant.
Bianca: How the fuck did you just say the heart emoji out loud what the fuck
Wednesday: I think it's an injustice to lock you in the wolf cages, tonight you shall run free
Enid (not even slightly fooled): Wends I told you to stop locking people in there
Wednesday: Well what am I supposed to do with Xavier then? Just let him go?
Under the report post button there should be two more options "grifting" and "guards seize him" which wouldn't really do anything but I'd really enjoy pressing them. A little treat for me. please
genuinely so obsessed with the way Enid was clearly supposed to be a straight man for Wednesday (she is enthusiastic and likes colours and popular music and gossip and teddy bears and she has emotions and social media accounts) but those traits are so prevalent that she actually comes off really wierd in a way that matches Wednesday's freak completely.
like she's drowning in rainbows, she dedicates serious time and effort into permanently cataloguing all school gossip on her blog, she's almost always entirely enthusiastic (to the point where it's like a little worrying) , she swiftly brings up a list of like 5 social medias for no reason in her first conversation with wednesday
I'm convinced the writers were just trying to write like a normal girl but hugely overdid it and now their relationship dynamic is incredible
Wednesday: Sometimes I think I'd like to put my hand in your skull to feel your wonderful brain and force our mouths closer together when we kiss
Enid (blushing): Sometimes I think I'd like to tie you up and make you listen to love songs for hours just to watch you squirm
Yoko: Sometimes I think I'd like to eat my breakfast WITHOUT you two making me nauseous but i guess life's just full of disappointments for us all
Wednesday: I am thrilled to announce that our room is haunted
Enid: What?
Bianca: Oh whatever, ghosts aren't real
Yoko: Yeah how'd you work that one out?
Wednesday: Well, I often hear heavy breathing and slight moaning noises in the night
Enid (blushing slightly): What? That's crazy?
Yoko:....
Bianca:...
Wednesday: Sometimes my name is whispered as well, very softly
Enid: Yeah no idea that's like so creepy huh
Yoko:...
Bianca:...
Wednesday: Sometimes I hear a creaking noise, like the sort beds make
Enid: I mean ghosts are always making things creak right we should probably get an exorcist in quick and not think too hard about anything that you like hear at night or anything
Yoko:....
Bianca:...
Wednesday: I am yet to find an explanation for the noise of vibration though
Enid: uh rattling pipes it must be there's really no other explanation at all that I can think of
Yoko: Clearly someone in your room has been making a lot of ectoplasm, huh pup?
Enid: shut up
*having a discussion with my friends but I'm secretly an alien who's only learnt human culture through watching movies about organised crime*
Ah yes the tooth fairy. She's the one that leaves the briefcase full of money under the pillow when someone knocks your fucking teeth out, if i capeesh correctly
god what have you done
you're a pink pony girl and
you dance at the club
HAIKU! Haiku detected!!
It's haiku time baby
Imagine writing lyrics in a way thats been considered poetic and beautiful for 500 years idiot
It's a fucking haiku babbyyyy
Enid: How many knives do you actually own?
Wednesday: Well there's all the usual knives for the kitchen, so bread knife, cheese knife, pairing knife, machete, human knife, steak knife-
Enid: Wait what did you just say?
Wednesday: Steak knife? That's a serrated blade for eating steak with, I can't believe how uneducated you are
Enid: No, I meant human knife obviously, what's the human knife?
Wednesday: Ah of course, it's a knife where the handle has a likeness of a human -
Enid (relieved): ohhhh
Wednesday: -which we mostly use for human thigh and breast meat
Enid: oh
Enid: Guys, I think Wednesday wants to eat me, like cannibalism style
Yoko: Ex-fucking-scuse me
Divina: Oh my god
Bianca: What?
Enid: Isn't that like sooo romantic
Yoko: NO
Bianca: Absolutely not
Enid: It's like totally cannibalism as a metaphor for love she wants mee so baddd
Yoko: ... I don't know what to say
Divina: I suppose I can't judge, I let Yoko drink my blood
Yoko: THAT'S DIFFERENT, THAT'S HOT THIS IS WEIRD
Bianca (wistfully): I remember when I was friends with normal people
"When life gives you lemons" no longer works as an expression because everyone i know would be thrilled to get free, edible, nutritious food without working or being excessively advertised to
like nobody cares that it's sour, it'll be sweetened by the knowledge that the lemons didn't require you to sell your soul to elon musk and jeff bezos until your body is physically incapable of being productive and you're then allowed to retire
Fuck lemonade if life gives me lemons I'm feasting on them like a starved man on a desert island tearing a fish apart with his teeth