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Kagura: Can you check for monsters under the bed?

Gintoki: The monsters don't live under our beds, they live inside of us.

Kagura:

Gintoki: Goodnight.

*when they drop food on the floor*

Shinpachi: ugh. *throws it away*

Gintoki: five second rule!

Kagura: foolish germs, thinking they can stop me?! *eats it off the floor*

Shinpachi: If it were up to me, they would revoke your driver's license.

Gintoki: They are more than welcome to, considering I don't have one.

Shinpachi:

Shinpachi: Oh my God.

Yuuji: On Halloween we dress up as skeletons but every other day of the year our skeletons dress up as us. 

Cop: You know you have the right to remain silent, right?

peter: wade, you won't believe it! they finally took my tits!

wade: i know peter, who do you think they gave them to?

Scratchy: “Stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.”

Yakko: “But what if…something else happened? Just this once?”

Zack: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Carmen: You are a hazard to society.

Ivy: And a coward. Do twenty.