T-rex_poems.txt - Tumblr Posts

Corpse in The Mirror

I'm someone else again,

Or am I?

Through my eyes

In the mirror I see,

A living corpse,

That doesn't feel like me.

What am I?

Im going insane!

As I laugh away my pain.

Someone else, someone else,

Someone else not entirely.

I wake up with church bells.

Oh, lord Christ!

Heal me of my sickness!

And I feel like less.

Nothing can save me,

Help me,

Make me free.

Shackles are bound,

My arms and legs,

To the Lord I found.

I pray so loud,

But does he hear me?

I don't see.

Thinking about ending it all

Thinking about ending it all,

Cutting open my throat,

Like a sacrificial goat,

Maybe I'll do it in fall.

I'm losing hope,

I want to starve,

I want to carve,

Into my skin like Soap.

I wish to leave,

Living is not for me,

Here I'll never be free,

Here awaits only grief.

But I never go,

I stay because of a glimmer of hope,

And no motivation to tie the rope,

Or myself into the river throw.

With my Rapist

When I was 13,

I was raped,

Since then I've never felt clean,

Especially because it wasn't Typical SA.

He was 13 too,

And he still groomed me.

He took my hand, my will wasn't free,

I still said yes unknowing of what he put me through.

He only touched me but it still left a scar,

I never wanted his touch in the first place.

I was so in love like an alcoholic with a bar,

Now I shudder whenever I have to see his face.

He never showed me love,

And I was just a child.

I thought if I said yes he'd love me,

We were exclusive after all.

He broke up the very next day,

He even groomed me to do it with 13 instead of older like I wanted to,

So i was shattered and I begged him to stay,

Because how could he not love me after all he put me through?

I was just a child,

This was my first relationship.

Now i have to see him everyday,

And I have no say,

Because we go to school together.

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Birds are singing,

Their happy song strong against the rain.

I can't stop thinking,

But I'm fighting hard against my brain.

It just won't shut up,

I can't concentrate on the rain,

Or the birds chirping me luck,

The torture method is my brain.

I try hard not to listen further,

All it says is lies.

But I still can't stop thinking,

That I corrupted a soul.

I know it's up to them to break the rules,

But I did before them too,

And I broke them when she was here too,

And I told her that nobody would notice too.

Now I'm lying in my bed,

Staring at the corrupted soul.

I'm sorry lord for what I've bred,

Please make me feel whole!

I don't wanna sleep

I don't want to sleep,

Stay awake for All eternity.

Sleep isn't for the weak,

And I'm in my minds captivity.

I don't feel sleepy anymore,

My brain is slowly rotting.

There's one person im fighting for,

And my will to die im blocking.

Sleepy, sleepy, I don't feel it,

Till tomorrow I stay awake.

Sleepy, sleepy, suddenly I feel it,

And I fall asleep that isn't fake.

~Radúz Fleck

Rusting gold

Gold is rich and shiny and wealth,

Its the symbol of royalty and health.

Gold doesn't rust and shouldn't get lost,

And still this one does.

Its not its fault, it's owner is to blame,

Abusing such precious metal without shame.

The gold isn't fragile, it has thick skin,

But still the owner made it rust, what a sin!

Now the poor, innocent metal lays somewhere.

It's not alive but it still isn't fair.

Now it rots away, the owner should feel shame.

The owner, however, never gets the blame.

Everyone believes the owner, not the metal shame.

Life just isn't fair.

I Want you

I want you here,

My love.

I want you near,

My dove.

I love you more than any other,

Your brown eyes understand my curse,

As I look I want to be your perfect lover,

And I'm honoured to be your first.

Not even after my violence,

You never leave me.

Not even in torturous silence,

With you I am free.

My love, this one is for you,

My hopefully last love.

After all you have been through,

You still love me, my dove.

I think i have skin cancer. Idk i have to get it chacked out by a doctor or something.

Yet annother call i have to make. I dont wanna do this anymoreeeeeeee

Train Station

It Rains and Rhymes,

A Rhytmic song on the tracks.

The Machine on its fuel dines,

And its movement beautiful acts.

Wind moves behind,

Its so fast!

Its free, it has no binds,

And it completes its tasks.

Trains! Trains! Trains!

I love them so much.

Moving people when it rains,

Trains never give up.

My dearest thanks to all the people,

That give their lives to moving people,

From place to place,

And driving these machines with such grace.