Trying2g3tbetter - Rex - Tumblr Blog

I don't wanna sleep

I don't want to sleep,

Stay awake for All eternity.

Sleep isn't for the weak,

And I'm in my minds captivity.

I don't feel sleepy anymore,

My brain is slowly rotting.

There's one person im fighting for,

And my will to die im blocking.

Sleepy, sleepy, I don't feel it,

Till tomorrow I stay awake.

Sleepy, sleepy, suddenly I feel it,

And I fall asleep that isn't fake.

~Radúz Fleck

Doing this to give myself motivation :/

25 notes and i'll clean my table 

50 notes and I’ll clean my entire room

100 notes and i'll finish my presentation 

200 notes and i'll finish ALL my presentations (I have like 4)

300 notes and I’ll stop procrastinating

400 notes andi'll (try to) do all of my homework on time

500 notes and i'll study more for science and geography (I’m bad at them) 

700 notes and I’ll start drawing again

800 notes and I’ll study for all my subjects 

900 notes and I’ll do a self care day every month (don’t do this to me)

1k notes and I’ll attempt to finish one of my (writing) wips 

5k notes and I’ll do a self care day every WEEK (Please do not.)

Here’s some more for fun

6969 notes and I’ll post the wip (you will not hit this.)

10k notes and I’ll stop sh myself 

Deadline is exactly one month bc I know these things can blow up 

Spamming is allowed ig

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

Thanks for the tag!!

@the-sweetest-of-pianos

tagged by @meatcrimes! thank you so much for remembering me! it's been quite a long time since i didn't play with these tag games, lol.

rules: search "your name + core" on pinterest, then post the first six photos!

tagging: @disappearinginneverland @liabilitys @wednesdayevenings @vibininthefields @madney @beskadiget @flowersf0rvases @urgeforgoing @goodbyevitamin @dialm4murder @unluckyn @brave-olive

Trying to prove a point to my transphobic parents

Reblog if trans men are REAL, VALID AND HANDSOME MEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS

Reblog if trans women are REAL, VALID, AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS

And finally, because it's a part of my argument for this point, and also because they are,

Reblog if nonbinary and genderqueer people in general, are REAL, VALID, AND GORGEOUS PEOPLE, NO MATTER HOW THEY PASS

Thanks for tagging me!!

@nofoxalive @deadsk8ter and anyone who wants to <3

picrew tag game!

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1815671

@cemetery-slvt @basementstalker @zennotixs @deludedmarimo @mochixkisses @lilyraincandy @dollyslyfe @hardly-a-p3rson and anyone who wants to join!

- f.k.q

Untitled 1

Birds are singing,

Their happy song strong against the rain.

I can't stop thinking,

But I'm fighting hard against my brain.

It just won't shut up,

I can't concentrate on the rain,

Or the birds chirping me luck,

The torture method is my brain.

I try hard not to listen further,

All it says is lies.

But I still can't stop thinking,

That I corrupted a soul.

I know it's up to them to break the rules,

But I did before them too,

And I broke them when she was here too,

And I told her that nobody would notice too.

Now I'm lying in my bed,

Staring at the corrupted soul.

I'm sorry lord for what I've bred,

Please make me feel whole!

Its 4 am, I just played Honkai star rail literally the whole night

Fuck, I think I'm relapsing!! I want to starve myself down to 55kg and I hate it! I'm not even overweight or something, I weigh 58kg, that's completely normal for my height but still!!

I always feel so empty when I'm in my room, I hate it.

A friend of my friendgroup blocked me. I don't consider the group friends anymore.

Im not okay rn. I just realised when I get back to school in 2 months I'll have to see my rapist again. We're in the same class and friend group...I'll just find a new friend group somehow

and everytime I realise how human you are, I get scared of the way you loved me

With my Rapist

When I was 13,

I was raped,

Since then I've never felt clean,

Especially because it wasn't Typical SA.

He was 13 too,

And he still groomed me.

He took my hand, my will wasn't free,

I still said yes unknowing of what he put me through.

He only touched me but it still left a scar,

I never wanted his touch in the first place.

I was so in love like an alcoholic with a bar,

Now I shudder whenever I have to see his face.

He never showed me love,

And I was just a child.

I thought if I said yes he'd love me,

We were exclusive after all.

He broke up the very next day,

He even groomed me to do it with 13 instead of older like I wanted to,

So i was shattered and I begged him to stay,

Because how could he not love me after all he put me through?

I was just a child,

This was my first relationship.

Now i have to see him everyday,

And I have no say,

Because we go to school together.

I think therapy is actually helpful rn. I'm learning a bunch of new stuff for when I want to sh and how to get over my fears. I don't want to quit sh at the moment but I'm definitely getting better with my other problems. I also found a bunch of new friends here that I really appreciate. Life isn't as bad at the moment as it used to be.

Thinking about ending it all

Thinking about ending it all,

Cutting open my throat,

Like a sacrificial goat,

Maybe I'll do it in fall.

I'm losing hope,

I want to starve,

I want to carve,

Into my skin like Soap.

I wish to leave,

Living is not for me,

Here I'll never be free,

Here awaits only grief.

But I never go,

I stay because of a glimmer of hope,

And no motivation to tie the rope,

Or myself into the river throw.

Corpse in The Mirror

I'm someone else again,

Or am I?

Through my eyes

In the mirror I see,

A living corpse,

That doesn't feel like me.

What am I?

Im going insane!

As I laugh away my pain.

Someone else, someone else,

Someone else not entirely.

I wake up with church bells.

Oh, lord Christ!

Heal me of my sickness!

And I feel like less.

Nothing can save me,

Help me,

Make me free.

Shackles are bound,

My arms and legs,

To the Lord I found.

I pray so loud,

But does he hear me?

I don't see.

"My head is a tourture chamber. As I plead god for a sign to keep going she looks at me from across the room"

~Radúz Fleck

@nofoxalive @deadsk8ter @the-sweetest-of-pianos

Let's all make ourselves as little guys! Everyone is welcome to join!

Picrew

little guy maker

little guy maker / ちっちゃいメーカー my third picrew :0 (first two were years old, ive since deleted them) please credit @reelrollsweat on tumbl

Here's mine:

Tagging: @silentwillowwhisperer @hecateisalesbian @mushr00mswirl @mischievousmary

Introduction!!

Hi, I'm Rex and here are some things about me I guess!!

I'm ftm and my pronouns are he/it/they.

I'm 15 years old so behave yourselves.

I'm okay with adults interacting with me but I don't want it to become sexual in any way. If you do get sexual with me consider yourself blocked and reported.

I like drawing and writing poems. I also like Minecraft, Ultrakill and doom.

I have a bunch of psychological problems that I'm in therapy for. My diagnosis are ADHD, BPD and Depression.

Yeah, that's all about me I think. I hope you have a good day <33