Tdc Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
SkekLi: Guys, I just figured out why thieves always wear leather armor!
SkekMal: Say “because it’s made of ‘hide'” and I’ll tan yours.
SkekLi:
SkekLi: I was actually gonna say “because it doesn’t leave fibers as evidence,” but I like yours better.
UrGoh: Please note,... we... do not... condone... violence-
SkekGra: Or at least not murder.
UrGoh: And, usually... not... violence.
SkekGra: We condone sending a message.
Aughra: Brave Brian the Stonewood Gelfling.
Rian: How did you almost know my name?
Aughra: Aughra has approximate knowledge of many things.
Deet: That’s a wonderful thing you did for the other Gelfling.
Hup: Hup not do it for them! Hup do it for Deet! Hup would kill for Deet.
Hup (intense): Please ask Hup to kill for Deet …
Deet: No, Hup.
Paladin, who sees Hup and Deet approaching the gates to the Citadel: The All-Maudra is busy. If you do not already have a scheduled meeting with her, you cannot enter.
Hup: Not worry, have permit [hands Paladin a piece of paper].
Paladin: This just says "I can do what I want".
UrVa: So, let's start by talking about the emotion you are feeling right now.
SkekMal: Stabbing.
UrVa: Stabbing isn't really an emotion. It's more of an activity that I hope you won't do to me. See, an emotion is more of a feeling.
SkekMal: Well, maybe I'm feeling stabby.
SkekTek: Do you know how many bones the Gelfling body has? It's 206. You start with 369 when you're babies but they fuse.
SkekTek: Wouldn't you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby?
SkekTek: What if I could help you?
Gurjin: Hi, yeah. What the actual, literal, GENUINE FUCK does this mean?
Hup: If Skeksis wanna get Deet, gotta go through Hup!
Hup, seeing skekMal charge at him: Wow, Skeksis probably gonna go through Hup.
Naia: We won't die. Because we have this. [points to chest]
Kylan: We have heart?
Naia: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing at myself. I’m going to win this for us.
A Presentation For skekSil
SkekTek: Hello and welcome to my presentation on why you should go fuck yourself. Spoiler alert: it's because you are a piece of shit that no one likes.
SkekTek: But why are you shit? Were you raised this way or unfortunate circumstances to blame? No, you're just terrible.
SkekTek: Still confused? Of course you are, here's a pie chart that should straighten things up. Here's a quick visual aid and I think this next slide really drives the point home: fuck you, go fuck yourself.
SkekTek: Now this graph is really interesting. As you can see, it shows the number of people that want you to go fuck yourself over time. Of note, this isn't 99% percent of the population. This isn't even 99.999% of the population. This is 100% of the population. That's right, even you want you to go fuck yourself so what are you doing here? Go on, go do it now!
SkekTek: You may be asking, "does all this hatred represent a weakness on my own part? Could it be that nobody deserves to hear the words 'go fuck yourself' because every single being on the planet is worthwhile and a valuable member of society?" Ha! No! Go fuck yourself.
SkekTek: In conclusion, I want you to know that I don't really mean anything I'm saying here. I think you're good and ultimately, I don't want you to go fuck yourself.
SkekTek: Just kidding haha, go fuck yourself. Thank you.
Periss: Hey.
Onica: Hi.
Onica:
Onica: What are you doing here?
Periss: I was in the neighborhood, wanted food, didn’t want to pay for it, here I am.
Onica: The door was locked.
Periss: Yeah, you’re gonna need a new lock.
SkekSil: Chamberlain don’t think Skeksis can mansplain, manipulate or malewife way out of it this time.
SkekVar: [cracking his knuckles]
SkekVar: Manslaughter it is.
SkekSa: Astrology ain't real.
UrSan: Literally nothing is real. Your name is gibberish, but you still answer to it because you crave identity and structure, you pathetic fucking balding biped.
Mayrin: And... why did you three get arrested??
Rian: We don't know.
Brea: It's not like we did anything wrong.
Deet, sighing: We were stopped while traveling, and when the paladins said “papers”, Brea and Rian yelled “scissors” together and told me to run for it.
Gurjin: Do you know why koalas aren't classified as bears?
Kylan: Because they're marsupials.
Gurjin:
Kylan:
Gurjin: [starts to leave]
Gurjin, mumbles under his breath: Because they're marsupials- NO, IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE KOALAFICATION.
SkekSo: My first rule is that no one can veto my rules.
SkekShod: Well, that's called tyranny and that's generally frowned upon.
SkekVar: Chamberlain, when I die, I don't care who else is at my funeral as long as you're there.
SkekSil: Of course Chamberlain will be there. Murderer always shows up to throw off police.
Hup: What we gonna do!?
Gurjin: Ah, what are you so worried about? You're so small the Skeksis probably won't even see you.
Hup: Is really time to make short jokes?
Gurjin: Hup, it is never not the time because, just like you, life is short.
Deet: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can’t have food!
Amri: You can eat a rock.
Brea: Air.
Onica: The fabric of time and space.
SkekSil: Chugging bottle of bleach can solve all Gelfling problems.
Deet: You guys are not helpful.
