Tw Transandrophobia - Tumblr Posts

so general political fandom opinion that is also kinda emotionally charged 4 me that i don't think a lot of ppl will agree w me on:

while it's generally understood that "race-bending" a character can b politically insensitive in certain contexts, e.g. making the only character in a show that's a racial minority white, or making a character POC 4 clout ect

i feel like we as adults need 2 acknowledge that the same can b said of gender-bending characters

[important: there is a difference between gender-bending a character vs headcanon-ing them as trans, trans hcs r not what this is abt]

there's a very concerning trend i've noticed lately, where ppl will take a fandom ship that's a mlm ship and gender-bend it into a wlw ship, or even just make art of the mlm ship but in the description say "lesbians" or "yuri" and omg don't get me started on the ppl i c calling mlm ships "yuri yaoi" 2 indicate a non-toxic mlm "yaoi" ship

u guys need 2 come off of the gender essentialism kool aid, i rly need u 2 get this thru ur thick fucking skulls

being a man is morally neutral

being a woman is morally neutral

being a man does not make some1 inherently bad or abusive

being a woman does not make some1 inherently better or remove any toxic traits

it's exactly that kind of mentality, the idea that being a man is inherently wrong or evil or perverse in some way, that kept me and many other transmascs in the closet 4 way longer than we would've been otherwise, that leaves us fearing ourselves, what lies beneath the facade of false womanhood, that leaves us unequipped 2 deal w the concept of loving ourselves and accepting ourselves completely

trans men ARE men and not just when you want to malgender them

transmascs ARE masc and not just when you want 2 use our masculinity against us

transmascs who see ourselves as "man-adjacent" are still hurt when u say this shit abt us and abt men even if they r men in a way that's different from us

also, gay men (and probably also bi and other groups of men who love men but i can't speak 2 that personally) , who are often accessorised by straight women (c "gay best friend") often hav 2 deal w being seen as an accessory 2 straight women and being expected 2 make our entire existence revolve around straight women while at the same time our love is seen as inherently toxic, the "logic" usually goes smth like "well men r inherently abusive and there's 2 men so that must mean they r just abusing each other in a circle right?" which obviously isn't how that works bc not all men r abusive bc abusive behaviour is not smth inherent 2 being a man

im so sick of wanting 2 look at an mlm ship 2 try 2 remind myself that it's okay that im like this and that i am the way i am only 2 c the tag flooded w gender-bend fanart or ppl calling these gay men "lesbians" 2 indicate that they r older than 25 or 2 indicate that they think the ship isn't toxic or worse, they say that the original ship is toxic, don't explain y other than "man inherently abusive" and then make a gender-bend of the ship and act like it's them "fixing" it

i am not inherently abusive 4 being a gay guy

i am not inherently abusive 4 being transmasc and "man-adjacent" as i would put it

i also am noticing ppl putting words like "lesbaians" or "yuri" in the description when they make more chaste mlm ship fanart like of cuddling or hand holding which like.... ew.... way 2 piss off 2 communities at once ig

i wasn't 2 mad abt the gender-bends at 1st but then i started 2 notice a pattern and i had 2 say smth

istg if i c 1 more person make gender-bend fanart of an mlm ship w the description being "fixed it" or another fucking piece of fanart that is of 2 men being cuddly and chaste and neither of these men identity as also being women and the description is "lesbaians" or "yuri" i am going 2 fucking scream

tumblr users stop taking popular mlm ships and then flooding the tags 4 them w wlw gender-bend fanart versions of those ships at the very least make ur own tag 4 it like idk "fem![character]xfem![character]" or "fem![ship name]" it's not ok when u invade our mlm ship tags 2 tell us u think our love is toxic or that it would b better if we were women, ur literally just invading our online spaces where we go 2 feel safe 2 tell us u don't like us, and 4 some of us, 2 tell us that u wish we never transitioned

just 2 b clear im not talking abt cases here where the characters in question r nonbinary in a way that means that they see themselves as both men and women and so ppl call it "yuri yaoi" bc the characters r both men and women at the same time, that's a whole different thing of ppl just having some cool stuff going on w their gender and not at all what this post is abt, it's also smth tho that i hav not seen nearly as much as what this post is abt and also i don't hav any experience w being nonbinary in that way so im gonna leave that topic 4 some1 who has a better understanding of that shit than me

; idk why but after reading some posts I js realized why it took me years and years of questioning, years of discomfort, years of self hate and years of forcing myself into labels to realize I'm transmasc & like guys. Like, like it took me years and it was because

; ( long under the cut + rant like but w a good ending lol /gen )

; because I had been taught men and liking men was bad, was evil, was mysoginistic, was siding w the enemy

pt: ; because I had been taught men and liking men was bad, was evil, was mysoginistic, was siding w the enemy

; and I fully believed this, it was said by my mother and my friends and by social media and influencers and everyone I used to look up too, so why wouldn't it be true ?? So realizing I was transmasc was 100% harder because ppl were clinging on too the whole " if you're born a man or transition into a man you're horrible and evil and disgusting etc etc and there's no getting out of it I hate you " feminism and I wanted so bad to be in a community and to have ppl like me ( and I didn't know of any other safe places ) that I js went with it. I claimed to be a trans ally but I depised trans men & trans mascs, I hated cis men especially ! I hated everyone who was masculine or liked masculine people. I was like legit a terrible person and a huge exclusionist and I didn't even notice. Because I genuinely thought I was in the right, because I'd been raised like that. Because I'd been continuously told that. So I wasn't a " bad person " I was a good person, I was correct and I was spreading good information

; and yk I was devastated when I realized I was transmasc, it was horrifying to think because " oh shit oh no I must be broken, be evil !! and what if I js get worse !?? What if I end up like other men oh no ! " and that is terrifying to think that's how I used to think, like, that was normal for me. That was right.

; but funnily enough after being like okay I'm transmasc now what !?? I went to some transmasc / accepting queer centered blogs & sites & discords and I swear they were so welcoming it flipped everything I knew on it's head. I'd been told they were all gross and mysoginistic and rapists and js terrible people but the nicest person there who helped me sm was a cis gay man. He was kind and supportive and helped me through what I was feeling .. !! He didn't even get offended by my original thought process because his brother had been the same, his friends had been the same, most trans men / mascs in those places had been the same. They'd all thought something was wrong w them, that they were horrid people and they were betraying women etc etc.

; and I'm forever grateful I got out of that way of thinking, I've never been happier being myself. Letting others be themselves. And I don't feel so broken anymore, I don't buy into the " siding w the enemy !! " bullshit because that's what it is, bullshit. Plus I know I don't have to look a certain way to be transmasc so it's helped my dysphoria to an extent yk .. But it still really pisses me off that people hate men for purely being men, that's stupid and literally genuinely not what feminism is, its not what inclusivity is, it's just shitty and stupid. You aren't just born a horrible person and it certainly isn't based off something like gender or sex. And you sure as fuck don't get to call yourself inclusive for it.

; anyways I love you trans men & transmascs and all masculine / man aligned lovelies in all your ways and yeah. You're not evil or disgusting or betraying anyone just because you are a man / masc person <3 ( this also goes for anyone expressing themselves masculinely / who look masculine <333 )

'but what about women????!!!!' we get it, you hate men and think they don't have valid issues. please get out of the nuanced gender discussion and go back to your elementary school playground shenanigans lookin ass group of man hating 'feminists'

Fun Fact!

Did you know you can talk about the discriminations that men go through WITHOUT saying women aren't discriminated against?

Men, whether cis or trans, should be able to talk about the discrimination they face in some circumstances (especially their suicide rates) without someone hopping into the conversation and saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?!"

Yes, women have problems, but we can't act like they're the ONLY people who have problems.

Male suicide rates are something to be concerned about! 22.8 out of 100,000 is still a lot! That's 75,924 out of 333mil people (the population of the USA in 2022) committing suicide! Female suicide rates are SIGNIFICANTLY lower at only 5.7 out of 100,000. That's 18,981 out of 333mil people. Still a lot of people! But, evidently something is affecting men more here, and that needs to be addressed!

And if someone brings up how often women are raped? We don't truly know the actual statistics of either gender because rape goes SEVERELY UNDERREPORTED BY BOTH GENDERS! But male victims of rape (in my personal experience) are taken less seriously, ESPECIALLY if their rapist was a woman, getting comments like "Wow, you were so lucky! I wish I could bang her," or "Don't lie, men can't be raped! You probably liked it anyways!"

I speak as a rape survivor myself who is AFAB and transmasc, who suffered severe social isolation and several suicide attempts after I mentioned to my friends I was raped, AS A CHILD (my rapist was just a month younger than me), and most of my friends took the side of my rapist.

Let people talk about the discrimination they face without being made fun of.

TW: Screenshots of hate messages below the "keep reading"

GET YOUR ASS OFF TUMBLR CAUSE IT GIVES YOU FUCKING STUPID BELIEFS

Fun fact, you can't separate us from being trans and us being masculine. You don't get to say that 'transmisandry isn't real because misandry isn't real' because us being trans and the masculine parts of our identity are the same thing. We are hated for every facet of our collective identity, transfeminine, transmasculine, transneutral, and transxenic, and we are hated for them in different ways.

I have not started that misandry is real. I have not stated that cisgender, perisex men are oppressed for being men.

I HAVE stated that there are specific transphobic beliefs that target trans men.

I have never denied that trans women are not oppressed.

What I HAVE said is that trans woman/transfems and trans men/transmascs are often affected in different ways.

Like, how the fuck does it affect you that transmasculine people want a more specific word to describe their experiences? Are you going to tell a transfem to just call their experiences transphobia? By your words, all transphobia is transmisogyny, so what's the point of not calling it all indistinct transphobia?

THAT'S RIGHT! BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE SPECIFIC WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR OPPRESSION /GEN

You don't get to separate the trans from the man! You don't get to seperate the "transphobia" from the "misandry" BECAUSE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MEN/MASCS!!!!

TRANSMISANDRY LITERALLY JUST MEANS THE SPECFIC HATRED AND OPPRESSION OF TRANS MEN! WE ARE NOT SAYING MEN ARE OPPRESSED, WE ARE SAYING TRANS MEN ARE OPPRESSED.