Tw Faggot - Tumblr Posts
uhm I dunno wut to put here…heds up this is gunna b a long post (I think…I’m jus gunna write as I go along like word vomit ig) So I wus messagin a few ppl n…2 of them blocked me for bein a boy, another wus sayin that the way i explane my grammar n chronic sexual atententon need so here we go ig…I was raped by my daddy (yes, I will use that word cus he is still in my life n I canot physicaly use the term “father” or I start 2 cry) ever since I was 10…or 6…I can’t rember I know I wus young and looked like my mother…she never beleved me, he used 2 make me sit on his lap, wen I cride it felt like no one wus there…he stopped ever since I wus fifteen but, now it feels like no one wants me I relied on my body for pleasure for so long n now no one wants it…not even my daddy anymor…so I’m srry if I reply slow or if I’m into crazy things like rape or incest or if I’m too clingy, needy, a nympho or fag or sex addict but I need attention plz…can someone help me feel loved? I need a new daddy…
My Average Contradicting Morning
My inner thoughts
TW: Cursing
Me
TW: Suicidal mentions
Yay for once I’m not tired! Here comes the migraine Hey I got up early today! Go back to bed, everyone will think you’re fake sleeping if you get up now. Hey, I’m gonna work really, really hard today! You’re still only making three hundred bucks per month. I have spending money! It’s not even enough to rent the dorm, you’re still short a hundred from last month…But I tried really hard and that’s all that matters! No one cares, you’re not the only one in the rat race. I should see some friends! The same ones you flirted with because you like him and he doesn’t like you? No, my best friend! The one you cursed out because she said your problems were getting out of hand? I…uhm…maybe I should just go to the mall…You look like skin and bones, you anorexic fuck. Right, maybe I should stay home…You lazy idiot, do something with your life. I should see my therapist…The one who left you or the one who made you cry like a bitch two weeks ago? I should buy a rope…Good idea, but the store’s out of the medium thickness ones, it’ll either break or you’ll fall through the loop. I have some…The ceiling of the dorm won’t hold more than fifty pounds genius. W-Where’s the knife..? You forgot to sharpen it, you couldn’t break skin if you wanted to, you worthless little bitch. Then I’ll buy a sharpener…You can’t, the store only has the shitty ones that don’t work, not that you know the difference between “Course” and “Fine” anyway. I should see Daddy at the prison…The same one who raped you and made you like this? I’m gonna go see Mamá…The one who speaks Spanish but won’t teach you and still doesn’t even accept that you’re a faggot? I…I th-think I’m just gonna sleep…Good idea.
Hey, It’s Mochi here, I want to say thank you to everyone who actually saw my ‘help’ and not porn related posts, and to the two people who liked my poem… If you read it you would’ve seen a very clear message of something I had been planning since I was around twelve. Some details, I’m half Mexican, I’m bisexual and a boy, I’m 19 and a rape victim of two separate people, my dad and my babysitter. Actually three after yesterday (July 15). This is obviously a rant. I’m gonna be honest, I can barely afford my dorm right now and the money left goes to my stepdad and mom for “Bills” bullshit btw, they live in a four bedroom three bathroom house that’s bigger than the entire east dorm building of my collage, and always buy name brands and luxury shit like jewelry or TVs but then get mad at me when I stay longer than a few hours when I visit. My older sister Lily however lives with them rent and job free, keep in mind I’m 19 and she’s twenty three, I make peanuts at my job which I got fired from because my mom told my boss about my “mara ju wanna problem” (Yes that’s how she says it) Which was actually medicinal for my epilepsy… so I failed the piss test, tried reasoning with the manager and failed. Rent is due in about 13 days give or take, which to give you an idea is 630$ if you pay on time but somehow the website to pay it is always “under maintenance” on the due dates so with the late fee I pay around 700$ guess what I have in my bank acc…$273.47 no I’m not starting a fucking go fund me or anything, I’m not white enough for that pity shit, speaking of which, hi I’m half Mexican, but I’m still about as white as provolone cheese. Which makes it worse because my mom refuses to teach me Spanish even though she’s fluent, somehow “forgot” to get me registered when we entered so guess who’s the only one in the family with a green card instead of citizenship papers… Can’t hang out with white ppl because they confuse the fuck me with their weird fucking travel mugs, makeup and other bullshit, can’t hang with the Mexican chicks cus I’m too much of a fag, can’t hang with the white guys because guess the reason (Hint, it’s because I’m a fag) can’t mess with the Mexican dudes because… want another fucking hint why? It’s the same reason as before. There’s no fucking halfy’s at my college at least. I play in a band… guitar, bass, drums, you name it I play it, because I was forced to by my stepdad until my fingers all started bleeding. Guess who was kicked out… go on… guess… apparently after five fucking years of being the lead singer and being openly bi I was suddenly “too gay” so they took my best friend instead and they all fucking left me to go to cali, goin to cali was my idea mind you. p1, p2 should be right under