Tw Mental Hospital - Tumblr Posts

Jessie Drugs James and Is Generally Abusive: Team Rocket Gets Dramatic and Not in the Fun Way (part three of four)

It's becoming apparent that twelve!me was processing some weird things when she wrote this. Nothing as bad as what Jessie, James, and Meowth are going through, but enough that this got committed to paper (that's not all that gets committed in this fic god damn it I hate my thoughts sometimes).

Part one is here.

Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; abuse mentions; questionable depiction of medical and psychological issues; shaky understanding of mental institutions; possibly uncomfortable thoughts on the nature of relationships; general angst; Jessie uses the r-slur; James uses the r-slur; hinting at a Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (it's spreading to Meowth)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

James's alarm went off early. I heard it.

"Why are you up so early?" I whispered.

"Quiet, Meowth. Pretend you're dead," James whispered.

I didn't know why he wanted me to do this at the time, but I did it anyway. I almost went back to sleep. I heard James packing our bags and tents.

"Where are you going?" I heard Jessie ask.

"To bury him," James said.

To bury him?!

I opened my eyes slightly. Jessie had gone back to sleep. James put his backpack on and put my backpack on me. I looked around. Only Jessie's tent was up.

James started running. It started to rain. It was extra cold because we were up so early.

I saw a town. James slowed and then stopped.

"We made it," I heard him say. James fell to his knees. He was obviously very tired from running so early.

James began to cry. "Don't worry, James. Whatever it is, it'll probably work out," I said, trying to comfort him.

"I hope so, Meowth. I hope so."

-O-o-O-

We got into a motel even though it was so early. James and I closed the curtains in our room and locked the door. We got in bed.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Jessie wanted me to poison you," James said. He swallowed, probably at what he was asked to do.

"And?" I asked, trying to sound calm.

"I couldn't and didn't," James said.

That's a relief, I thought. My next thought was: Wait a minute, no that's not!

"James? Did you drink any of the poison?" I asked.

"No. I was thinking about it, but the smell was so vile, I poured it into a hole and buried it," James said.

"What if Jessie finds us?"

"She won't. I'm turning her in to the mental institution."

"But….she's our friend."

"I don't care." James's voice broke. He started to cry quietly.

"Maybe if you turn her into the mental institution, you'll save her from being arrested. So you won't be betraying her," I said.

James smiled warmly at me. It was like the sun came out. "That's so sweet of you, Meowth," he said softly.

"Anything to soothe your pain, James," I said.

(James's point of view)

The day we got into the motel was the day we turned Jessie in.

I'll leave out the horrible details: the fight, the hitting, the scratching, the screaming.

The last I heard from Jessie before they put her in the truck was these words: "I'll get you, James and Meowth! Even if it's the last thing I do!"

Our motel was near the mental institution, so we could visit Jessie easily.

I wasn't sure I wanted to.

This was exactly why I didn't want to fall in love. I knew I'd get hurt. I was stupid for a second to think I wouldn't. If Jessie, who I thought was my best friend, could hurt me so badly, how much damage could a boyfriend do? Especially a boyfriend who might be my other best friend and someone I was ordered to kill? I couldn't fall further in love. I couldn't risk getting hurt again.

As I was thinking this, a feeling of hate and pain was overcoming me. I wanted to hate Jessie for putting me through all of this. I wanted to hate myself for turning her in. I wanted to hate myself for loving who I did.

I remembered a time when I had no reason to hate anyone except for Jessiebelle.

Remembering that time brought tears to my eyes. The tears washed away the hate and healed the pain.

I couldn't hate Jessie and I couldn't hate myself.

Because I was too busy loving Meowth.

(Meowth's point of view)

We waited a long time before we visited Jessie.

James spent a long time in the bathroom, staring at the wall before we visited. When I told him maybe we should go tomorrow, he said he might not have the courage to go the next day.

I still remember the fight Jessie started. I think she almost ripped off her straitjacket.

"What are you bitches doing here?" She practically yelled this.

"We're just making sure you're safe," James said. He was clutching his upper body with both arms.

"I was safe until you turned me in, traitor," Jessie said.

That didn't make any sense.

Next to me, James was trembling. The poor boy looked like he was going to run out of the room.

"I turned you in to save you," James whispered.

"Save me?! From what?"

"Killing yourself."

"How would I kill myself?" Jessie yelled.

"You're….You're unstable," James whispered. He looked at the floor.

"What about you? Fucking crying at the drop of a hat, lying to me about plans. You're the unstable one," Jessie said.

"Stop it!" I yelled suddenly. "Stop picking on James. He brought you here to protect you. He didn't want any of us to die or get arrested. Just lay off him, okay? He protected me and I'm going to protect him. Screw with that, and you know what'll happen."

"What do you know?! You're just a little freak Meowth who doesn't know shit about shit. You're both retards!" Jessie yelled.

"Don't you dare call Meowth a retard!" James yelled. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you better stop it. We're not risking our lives going back to Team Rocket until you're out of here. Until then, you will not abuse Meowth or me emotionally, mentally, physically, or sexually."

I was surprised at James. He was so meek and he rarely yelled. I didn't expect him to scream like this.

Especially at Jessie.

All Jessie did was roll her eyes and say, "Fuck that. Fuck you too. Both of you. I should've handled the poison myself. Meowth is a retarded waste of flesh and blood."

I burst into tears.

James picked me up and tried to comfort me. He looked at Jessie with a mixture of anger and pain in his eyes.

"How could you hurt him like this?" he whispered. He ran out the door with me.

When we got to our room, James put me down on the bed. He went into the bathroom.

He didn't come out for a long time.

(James's point of view)

I cried for a long time. Why did Jessie hurt us like that? Do all psychopaths do this? I never found the answer. I only found more tears.

That was the worst fight I ever had with Jessie. I guess I'll never get her forgiveness. I shouldn't have even hoped for it.

How could Jessie call Meowth a waste of flesh and blood? He was anything but that. He was my….friend. My other best friend.

I couldn't bear to think about us going further than that. Don't even hope for it.

Meowth knocked on the door. "James, are you all right?"

I looked in the mirror. My eyes were glazed over. My hair was a mess. I had dark circles under my eyes, which were swollen from crying.

"I'm fine," I said.

I walked into the bedroom and collapsed into bed. Meowth put a wet rag on my forehead.

After a while, I fell asleep. I had a horrifyingly realistic dream about Jessie breaking out of her cell. I woke up screaming.

"What's wrong?" Meowth asked.

"I just had the worst nightmare about Jessie breaking out of her cell." I was sobbing quietly. Meowth comforted me. I then spoke three words I never thought I'd say.

"I hate Jessie."

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Don't try to force your best friend to poison their other best friend; you'll get in trouble (and make it double).

Jessie Drugs James and Is Generally Abusive: Jessie Evolves Into a 4chan Poster (part four of four)

I don't even know anymore.

Part one

Part two

Part three

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; abuse mentions; misunderstanding of medical and psychological issues; shaky understanding of mental institutions and psychopathy; general angst; hinting at a Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jessie says "kys" to James; Meowth watches James sleep; abrupt ending where the issues are maybe not dealt with properly; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (I don't know why; he was and still is my favorite Pokémon character)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

James had changed.

I hardly knew him anymore. He was more serious and sad. His eyes had lost their light.

What had happened to the James I used to know? He didn't used to cry all the time. He had no reason to hate anyone or anything. He seemed to be sad all the time after the visit. I found out later it was because he felt he'd betrayed Jessie.

I told James he should try to patch things up with Jessie. He agreed reluctantly.

We went to the mental institution again. James took a shaky breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I can't do it. I can't face her now," James said quietly.

"Maybe you should sleep on it," I said. "You'll feel better about it when you wake up."

We went back to our room. James took a nap. I thought about how James had changed and watched over him.

After a while, I noticed James was trembling. I took a closer look and saw that he was crying.

"James, why are you crying?" I asked.

"I don't want to hate Jessie anymore. I don't want to love….who I love anymore either," James said quietly.

This was ridiculous. Why was Jessie putting us through all this pain? Especially James. He never did anything to her. He always obeyed her.

I comforted James. He went back to sleep. I felt like I needed to pay James back for all the care he'd given me, although he never asked for anything in return.

But how could I do it so he didn't suspect my feelings for him?

I looked at him. He looked so cute and angelic when he was sleeping. Once, just before I had fallen asleep, he kissed me softly on my charm. He didn't realize it, but I replayed that moment a lot in my head.

I went over to James. He was fast asleep. I kissed him gently on his forehead.

Sweet dreams, Little Jim.

(James's point of view)

The next day, we visited Jessie again. The second visit was worse than the first.

Meowth went in first, alone. We wanted to go in alone because we thought it would be better than last time.

We were dead wrong.

Meowth went in. When he came out, he said, "Your turn."

I got up to go in. I was so nervous, I thought I was going to vomit.

I walked into the room. Jessie was in a straitjacket.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Just to see you," I said. I didn't like to see Jessie in a cage.

"You put me in here."

"I did it to help you!"

I regretted saying those words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

"Help me?! How the fuck did you think you were helping anyone? You're such a worthless bitch, James. Fuck you. You should've drank the poison yourself. I hate you."

I stood there, frozen. I knew tears were running down my cheeks, but I didn't try to wipe them away.

Jessie would never forgive me.

Jessie HATES me.

I ended up in the waiting room, not sure how I got there. Somehow, I ended up in the motel room, lying flat on my back on the bed.

Meowth sat next to me. "What happened?" he asked.

I never really told him.

(Meowth's point of view)

What happened to James?

He hardly smiled. He smiled a lot before the visit, but he didn't after the second one. He just sat around with a scared look on his face.

He was skinny before the second visit, but now he wasn't eating and he seemed to be wasting away.

He wasn't sleeping right. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was constantly messy.

He looked like a lost child.

What went wrong with the visit? What made James give up on life? What could I do to make him want to live again?

"What did Jessie do to you?" I asked.

James didn't answer.

"What did she do?!" I was almost hysterical.

James started crying.

"She….told me to kill myself," James sobbed.

I was pissed.

"That does it. Jessie has hurt you one too many times. Tomorrow, we're going back to that mental institution to straighten things out between you two. You don't deserve all this pain, James," I said.

James looked frightened.

"Will Jessie ever get out of the asylum?" James asked.

"Who knows?" I said.

(James's point of view)

Meowth and I walked back to the mental institution. I was really scared, but I had to straighten things out with Jessie.

"You can go to the bathroom if you need a break, but we're not leaving until we get things straightened out," Meowth had said.

I had no choice but to obey.

I walked into the room. Meowth followed.

"Why are you acting this way?" I managed to ask.

"What?!" Jessie said.

I was so startled I almost didn't answer. "Why are you acting this way" I repeated.

"You said I'm a psychopath," Jessie said.

"I want to know why you're a psychopath!" I didn't know why I was so cranky all of a sudden. I guess I didn't want to be bothered with smart arse comments.

"Fuck, you don't have to scream," Jessie said, uninterested.

"It's the only way you'll listen to me! Why did you want me to kill Meowth?! Why were you drugging me?!" I cried.

"To make Team Rocket better," Jessie said. The words "no, shit" would've fit perfectly in the sentence.

"How would that make us better? What does the word 'partner' mean to you? Meowth doesn't deserve to die and I don't deserve to be told to kill him! And I'm glad I lied and ran away! How would killing Meowth make Team Rocket better?!" I was trying to hold back tears, but I didn't seem to be doing a good job of it.

Jessie didn't look interested at all. I knew she could kick me or hit me from inside the cell (I was in kicking range).

Jessie kicked me in my side and punched me in the face. I was knocked over, of course.

Meowth jumped up and scratched Jessie across her face.

"Don't you ever hurt James like that!" he yelled. He was crying. "Why are you acting like a psychopathical asshole?! Just cut out the shit and stop hurting us! We can't go a fuckin' day without worrying whether you got your ass thrown in jail or escaped! Why are you suddenly such a dickhead, anyway?"

Meowth continued ranting and swearing at Jessie. Jessie still looked bored. Meowth must've realized she wasn't listening to him.

"C'mon, James. Let's go," he said, sounding depressed.

I struggled to get up. Meowth and I walked back to the motel.

Then Meowth was the one sitting around, looking ready to cry.

"Even yelling and swearing didn't make her listen," I said.

Meowth began to cry. I held him. The poor kitty. I had to protect him.

"I just wanted to get Jessie back," Meowth said.

We stared into each other's eyes. Meowth's pretty blue eyes had tears in them. I wiped away one of his tears.

"Maybe we will, Meowth. Maybe we will."

(Meowth's point of view)

Here's what happened.

James and I got out of the motel. We set up our tent next to the mental institution and went in there every day.

Jessie eventually got back to normal. I acted like nothing happened, but it took a while for James to get used to her.

A kind of happy ending to an unhappy experience.

Life isn't half bad.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: When a cat watches someone sleep, it's generally not creepy. If a sapient talking cat Pokémon watches someone sleep, well....It's still a better love story than Twilight.

TW: venting about my whole ass panic attack. So yeah

So I'm literally in tears rn. My acne flared up really bad. My nose is to big. My lips are too small. My hair just won't work with me. I may be skinny isn't good when your face looks like God hit you 1000000000000000000000x with the ugly stick.

My brother decided to say, "It's not that bad. Why are you upset?"

Easy to say when you have every female in the world falling at your feet.

Like all my siblings got the attractive gene & my genes decided I'd be the ugly one.

My teeth are messed up to. Not lined up, under bite. Got scars lining my body so that's another flaw to add.

Why would anyone decide to date me.

The guy I was dating kill himself. I would to if I was dating me.

He didn't even leave my ugly ass a note. Such a shame ig.

Got ADHD, Bipolar, ODD, Generalized Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, & now possibly falling on the Autism spectrum.

Ugly af

Annoying af

Always fall in everyone's shadows. Only this person's younger sister or this persons older sister maybe this other person's daughter.

Can't even make a name for myself. Sometimes I wish I'd disappear. I was suppose to have a twin. If she made it maybe it'd be better.

School is stressing me out. I somehow passed last year. Kind of tired.

I'm just tired.

No matter how hard I try or how hard I work. Nothing will ever be enough.

Not for me, my mum, my siblings, my friends, my teachers, no one. I'm never enough.

I have a panic attack my mum decides the cry.

What gives her the right. She looks great. She's witty, kind, independent, knows what she wants. So why is she crying. Literally nothing happened.

You're crying cause I'm upset & making everyone else upset. Literally not my fault I'm having a panic attack while looking in the mirror.

Hell now I've started starving myself. Afraid of weight gain ig

I lie. Say how cool my family is. How I don't care whether I am skinny or not. Lie that I'm not ugly or pretty. I lie. Straight through my teeth.

I pretend my life is so great.

No.

I never have been close with my mum. I've always wanted to. Seems everytime I start to I get pushed back.

My mother is proud of all my other siblings.

I gave up on art. I was like 12 or 13. I went to show my mother a drawing.

My mother told me to shut up as my older brother & sister were gonna sing. She couldn't even wait one second to take a glance.

When she decided to look. After praising her oh so talented children. She just said my drawing was cool.

I flushed that drawing down the toilet.

I've decided that I'll just not try.

I'm 16 atm. I try to impress my mother. Be a oh so good kid.

Never one glance.

Where did I go wrong.

My ex boyfriend gave me hope. Maybe someone could love me. Someone could find a way to look past all my flaws & see some beauty that I just couldn't see.

But the rope he hung from could say different.

No goodbye, no letter. Nothing.

Last words were him breaking up with me in a group chat without notifying me .

Having to find out through someone he hates.

Someone who he despises knew.

Then when I joined. He just ridiculed me. Put me down. Kept saying cruel words. Just to break up. Then leave this world.

I know I wasn't the cause. That his world came to an end. But why?

I've only ever looked at the bright side. Wanted to help others. Sit by those who hurt. Helping others gave me purpose. Hope that maybe I one day could.

My mother's name is Hope though. Even she couldn't believe in me. How ironic. The woman who gave birth to me is named Hope. Yet any hope she could've had in me never met my eyes.

I would leave the world as well. I guess I just like the challenge. Tried to leave a couple times. Each one a fail. For 6 minutes & few seconds. My heart stopped. I was at peace. Then my heart decides to beat again. Body decides to work again.

October 23rd 2018. Was my near death experience. Was great honestly. Sadly death just won't take me. No matter how much I've tried. Even death doesn't want me.

How ironic. Death takes everyone. Yet not me.

Take people I care about. Not me though.

I gave up on attempting suicide. Never leads me to death.

I just kind of exist now.

Mother won't let me get a job. Won't let me pierce even my ears.

She says she cares yet victim cards Trump all.

I weirdly love my family though.

My mother saved me from going to foster care. Plus my father was abusive. The memories that'll never leave haven't grown because of her.

Yet it seems I really was just part of the package.

To care for any of the others. I was just the con.

She showed up to my football practice in 8th grade.

She looked so proud & congratulated me on knocking guys 10x my height down. For once she was proud.

One of my matches she showed up to. I was knocked down by a kid. Are team lost. Any hope she had in me. I could see disappear.

She lectured me after. Saying how I could've done better.

I quit the team. Coach said that I shouldn't. It just wasn't as full filing when the person who gives birth to you. Well the one you spend all your time trying to make proud. Look at you with cold eyes.

I had a choir concert not even a year ago. I did the whole thing. Hoping maybe she walk in. See that I was overcoming my fear of singing on stage.

She texted me once I was done. She waited outside the entire time.

Didn't take the time to come in. I thought maybe she was doing something. Shopping or riding around. No. She just sat in the parking lot.

It hurts. I lost my childhood. Lost someone I loved. Lost any hope of my mum being proud. Lost my pride. Lost any love for myself. Lost any meaning for my life.

I've given up. Won't kill myself.

Wouldn't give myself the satisfaction. Plus I've tried to many times. Shot my shot. Missed everyone besides one that I rimmed & missed.

Guess I'll live just to survive. Then die peacefully in life.

Maybe I'll die saving someone. That'd be good to. Be remembered as someone who saved someone .

Well thx for reading ig